Treatment for TMJ: The non-treatment that rid me of jaw pain

My three big reasons to re-prioritize and reduce stress

A few months ago my jaw suddenly started hurting.  It remained this way for weeks to the point when I finally called my dentist.  By the time I got in there, I could barely open my jaw far enough for one finger to slide between my upper and lower teeth.  My dentist diagnosed it as TMJ.  

"What is TMJ?" you ask.   Web MD describes it like this:

"Temporomandibular disorders (TMD) occur as a result of problems with the jaw, jaw joint and surrounding facial muscles that control chewing and moving the jaw. These disorders are often incorrectly called TMJ, which stands for  temporomandibular joint." Possible causes include:

• Grinding or clenching the teeth, which puts a lot of pressure on the TMJ
• Dislocation of the soft cushion or disc between the ball and socket
• Presence of osteoarthritis or rheumatoid arthritis in the TMJ
• Stress, which can cause a person to tighten facial and jaw muscles or clench the teeth

Since, I don't grind my teeth, my dentist told me to try to identify points of stress, put on a hot compress on my jaw, and do a few jaw exercises.  I was not given any medication.   I knew it had to be stress related because the pressures of motherhood are tremendous.  In fact the condition is far more common in women than man and is ususally diagnosed between 20 and 40 years old.

As a 30-something SAHM with two little kids I was drowning under the pressure - much of it self imposed.  I had started out freelance writing "for fun" nearly five years ago after my daughter was born and I stopped working in the newsroom.  At times I made very good money.  Business was going so well for me that I had hired an assistant.  But the online writing freelance world isn't steady and shouldn't be relied on for consistent income.  

Working Online - So how much money am I really making?

I've blogged extensively about my online money making adventure - but there's one question that people always ask when they seem semi-intrigued enough to actually take the plunge themselves. 'Can I make real money writing online?' The answer is yes! I was among the skeptics when I first started this little writing adventure more than two years ago. But from the day I made my first .08 I was hooked.

For a year and a half my PayPal account saw growing earnings every month. Since my second baby was born in May, however I have had signficantly less time to write and let's just say time is money. The good thing about writing for Examiner.com however is earnings are residual - meaning you can keep earning money on articles you wrote months, even years ago as long as there's still an audience searching for it online.

So let's get to the meat of it - in January 2011 I had my highest earning month ever...up from .08 I made in November 2008.  Here's a breakdown of my two main online income sources:

Examiner.com: $4,099.00

Ehow.com: $727.03  

Making memories with my kids: priceless

I should point out that when I received my monthly payout in January from Ehow.com I had not written for that website in over a year. All $727.03 was passive residual income. eHow no longer pays their writers. Just a few short months after this payment, the website contacted writers with buyout offers. I accepted the offer and my article library now belongs to eHow and no longer provides me with that nice monthly residual income.

I continue, however to write for Examiner.com. Until January 2011 my earnings went up every month - but this became my peak. After January things got a little crazy in my life - we moved out of state, lived in temporary housing while we bought a new house and sold our other one, I was pregnant, had a toddler and then of course in May had my son. So here's what my monthly online earnings have looked like from February to August 2011 (I haven't received my September earnings yet).

February Examiner.com: $2,403.54
                     eHow.com: $ 542.80

March Examiner.com: $2,161.82
                 eHow.com: ENDED


April Examiner.com: $1,982.46

May Examiner.com: $1,716.34

June Examiner.com: $1,182.01

July Examiner.com: $1,164.26

August Examiner.com: $2,061.14

As you can see, I never did get anywhere close to that $4,100 level again, but I have had days where I've earned hundreds on just a few articles. My highest earning day was in April where I made a whopping $700 off just 5 or 6 newly published articles!

These days my monthly Examiner.com income hovers closer to $1200- $1500 with only an hour or two of writing a day (that's the extent of coordinated naps). But, I don't think that's too bad - if you consider my hourly rate. Besides, I'm not only paying a few bills...it's helping pad the savings. 

Since my writing time is so little I'm now working on coming up with more passive residual income sources that don't require so much daily effort to earn money. Of course, these will take weeks, months, if not a year to make a significant impact on my monthly earnings - but it may not take nearly as long as I expect. Afterall, I did go from making .08 a month to making close to $5,000 in just over two years times!

Click here to learn about working online for Examiner.com. Apply today and start writing about what you're passionate about.

Working Online: My second stay at home mom job

It has to be one of the most asked questions to new moms: "Do you work?"  Of course, we all work...it's just a matter of where, who your boss is and if you earn a pay check.  Until recently, I always responded with 'no' (playing patient isn't work, is it?)  But there was always this little part of me that wanted to add 'but...'

From time to time my husband would be there during this line of questioning and would always pipe in and defend my working online as legit work. That got me thinking - actually I do work and I do earn a paycheck. Heck, there have been months I've earned more than him - working in corporate America. So now my answer is 'Yes, I stay home but I work part time as a freelance writer.'

Working online, I have found is one of the best stay at home mom jobs because I can make my own schedule (or should I say my kids make my schedules - let's be honest they're the real bosses here!). Then the next question - 'What do you write?'  Eek - I hate that question because I always feel like I'm leading some double life. I usually try to get by with saying I write an entertainment column for Examiner.com but sometimes that's not always enough to divert the conversation.

That's when my double life is exposed. Yes, this SAHM of two, this wife from Delaware, this former TV news producer who just three years ago was writing about city hall and the Flight 93 memorial - now writes about Jersey Shore.  Not only do I write about the MTV reality show about 8 20 and 30 somethings who pretty much get paid to drink, party, and have sex - but I think I know more about Jersey Shore than should be legal. That's when I have to tell myself - it's a business decision and let me tell you- business is booming.

I actually have five Examiner.com columns but it's Jersey Shore that pays the bills; it's Jersey Shore that's trumped my husband's paycheck from time to time; it's Jersey Shore that has helped rebuild our saving account to where it was pre-move; and it's Jersey Shore that has allowed me to stay home to raise my kids. 

Before Blake was born in May I had months that I made upwards of $4000-$5000 but time is money and I don't have nearly as much of it anymore. But that's the beauty of it and that's why writing online is one of the best stay at home mom jobs.  I write when I have time, when the kids are sleeping or when my husband takes full control of the remote. While we're always careful not to rely on the money I make - we quickly learned that when one of my other online writing ventures suddenly stopped paying its writers - it's nice to pad the savings, the kids' piggy banks, or do something fun.

For me, writing isn't working - it's something I enjoy.  And until I stop enjoying I'll continue to work online to make extra money and to satisfy my own feelings of needing to contribute financially. And when Jersey Shore runs its course I'll be on to something else...because I 'shore' won't be giving up my second job.

Click here to learn about working online for Examiner.com. Apply today and start writing about what you're passionate about.

Are you a closet Jersey Shore fan too? Subscribe to my Jersey Shore Examiner.com, friend the Jersey Shore Examiner on Facebook, or follow @JerseyShore411 on Twitter.

Hey, savings account, remember me???

"We're baaaaaack!" You have no idea how excited I am to report that that's exactly what I said to my savings account the other day. Yes, we've missed each other for the last 11 months. It's been that long...basically since I stopped working to become a SAHM...that my husband and I have actually been able to put money into the savings. Last month though, my online writing earnings (which totaled $604 and change) provided us with a surplus...and therefore "We're back!" The best part is, it isn't a small surplus it's several hundred dollars...$300 to be exact!

Let me explain how it all works out b/c this is possible for all stay-at-home moms to achieve. By looking at my monthly earnings you'll see it takes time (and all I have is nap time)...but a year isn't much, if you think about it. While I never thought I'd be where I am, less than year after leaving the workforce,  I'm so happy I've put the dedication in to give my family several online revenue streams.

The only two websites I write for are Examiner.com and eHow.com, each a little different, but each a great gig in its own right.

The last eHow article I wrote was on 9/3/09, the last one before that was on 7/31/09.  In other words: I've been on hiatis from eHow for awhile. However, I've continued to earn, and increase my monthly income, each month as you can see from screen grabs of my eHow earnings reports.  And this, my friends is the beauty of passive residual income!

So why I haven't I written for eHow lately if I continue to see such dramatic monthly earning increases? Well, I heard about this great little start-up writing site called Examiner.com. Perhaps you've heard of it. Perhaps you even write for it. I have to admit, when I first started on Examiner I wasn't too impressed with the earnings. The site pays what usually equals out to a little less than a penny a page view.   Doesn't sound like much, does it? Well, that's where a penny/page view can be deceiving.

 I have two "spots" on Examiner.  My original spot was as the Baltimore SAHMs Examiner. I have to admit, I'm a little disappointed in the payoff considering the time and effort I put into writing daily articles.  Since the site only lets you see earnings for the current and previous months, I'll just have to tell you that in July (my first month) I earned $33.95. In August, I did slightly better earning $44.24. And in September Examiner deposted $299.67 into my PayPal account.

So what happened in October? A few things:

• Started second spot as the Celebrity Kids Examiner (earning $160.00 from September 16-30)
  
• Two Examiner referrals at $50 each

So in actuality I made $199.67 for my writing efforts. (Clearly, the majority was from my new gig.) But look what happened in October with strictly writing and NO referrals. (Since I have two spots, I have two earnings reports.)

If you do the math you'll see that in just my third full month on Examiner I made almost $500! Combined with my monthly earnings from eHow, in October my grand total is just about $825!!!! And you know what that means..."Hey savings, we'll be back again, real soon!"

When I started this little thing I now call freelance writing my goal was to pay off one bill. I was so excited when I was able to do that with an ehow deposit of $26.75. Granted, it was a small bill. Now my goal is to pay the entire monthly credit card bill (which ranges between $1000-$1300 in a typical month) with just my freelance writing earnings. I hope to do it by March 2010.

I'll keep you posted!

PS. If you're wondering why I haven't been making as many blog posts as of late...now you know!

Related Links:

Earn Passive Residual Income on eHow.com (by a SAHM making $1300 a month...it's how I cracked the code)

Ehow's legit...Don't say I didn't tell you so

eHow pays moms for their expertise

Make real money writing for Examiner.com (part of my Make Money Monday series)

My eHow story...month by month

Moms: Stop Helping Other Moms

As a SAHM, a once-working mom, and a mom with no family closer than an hour away sometimes I have to rely on a friend to help me out on the babysitting front. Is that so horrible? Am I a bad mom for that? If I lived in Michigan, my babysitting friend might just be breaking the law for the favor!


I posted this on my Baltimore SAHMs Examiner site, but the ridiculousness of it is more than I can take so I'm re-posting it here...to see what you all think. I hope you get a good laugh because it's actually quite comical (and sad all at the same time!)

SAHMs: Stop Helping Other SAHMs

That's the message from Michigan officials to a mom who's helping a neighbor by watching her kids for an hour a day between the time she needs to leave for work and when the school bus picks up her children.

While Baltimore stay-at-home moms obviously don't need to go to work, don't we all need a little babysitting help once in a while? A trip to the grocery store made easier without the toddler tagging along, a quick child-free haircut, a doctor's appointment without kids running around the office.

As stay-at-home moms our children aren't in daycare. Often times, our only source of childcare is other moms or a helpful neighbor. In Michigan, apparently that's against the law. The state recently sent Lisa Snyder a letter telling her she's operating an unlicensed daycare by caring for her neighbor's children - even if it is only 5 hours a week. Under the state's law no one can watch unrelated children for more than four weeks throughout the year. While the law is set up to prevent people, including Ms. Snyder, from acting as a daycare and to protect children, this is going a bit far. Would it be worse if the children's mother got to work late, got fired from her job, and couldn't clothe, feed, or provide shelter for her children? Would it be worse if she left them home alone for an hour until the school bus came to pick them up?

So from a stay at home mom in Baltimore to the hard working moms with office jobs in Michigan (and elsewhere) we're all in this together because if anyone is going to help us out in a time of need, it's another mom. And a message to the Michigan's Department of Human Services: thanks for caring about the children, but don't you have bigger fish to fry?

It should be noted that this case has (finally) prompted Michigan's governor to request the head of the Human Services agency to work with legislators to get the state law changed.

As for now, it's unclear who will watch the children so their mother can get to work on time.

Who do you get to watch your children when you need an hour or so of mommy-time during the day? To weigh, in click here and leave a comment in the comment box.

Read more from the Baltimore SAHM Examiner (yours truly)

Read more from the Celebrity Kids Examiner (also yours truly) and please take note of the nifty new widget on the side of this blog... and finally, if you enjoy celebrity kids news, gossip, and alerts become a fan on Facebook. (PUH-LEAZZZEE I need fans!)

Making Money Online: My Most Successful Month as a Mom So Far

Far and away, August has been my most lucrative month in my little side business (aside from being a full time mom, of course) as an online freelance writer. I'm really starting to see some serious money rolling into my PayPal account each month. A full year after my daughter was born, and 10 months after leaving my job as a TV News Producer, my online venture is starting to make a real difference in our monthly budget.


As you read down and look at my sources of income keep the following in mind: I am a fulltime, SAHM. I do not have a babysitter any day of the week. I only write or "work" when my daughter is napping (max 3 hours a day) and I rarely do work after my husband comes home (around 4pm) or on the weekends. Some days I do not write or "work" at all because I have other more pressing things to do such as housecleaning or grocery shopping. That being said - it is possible for moms (yes, even those of walking, curious and on-the-go one year olds) to make $500+ a month in extra cash. Here's how I did it in August.

Ehow Earnings: $252.26
Ehow Article Written in August: 0
Note: 100% passive residual income
Learn more writing how-to articles and earning passive residual income on Ehow.com

Examiner Earnings: $44.24
Examiner Articles Written in August: 23
Learn more about becoming a freelance writer for Examiner.com

Examiner Bonus Earnings From Referrals: $150 ($50 per referral)

eBay Earnings: $33.84
Items Sold on eBay in August: 3

Affiliate Earnings in August: $ 15.07
Commission Junction: $1.25
Amazon: $1.32
E-Junkie: $12.50
Total Products Sold thru Affiliate Programs: 4
Note: 100% Passive Income
Learn more about Affiliate Marketing as a way to earn passive residual income

August Dual-Family Yard Sale: $58
_____________________________

Total Online Earnings in August: $ 495.41
Grand Total for August Earnings: $553.418


Through my Examiner column, which focuses on Baltimore SAHMs I have started a weekly series called Make Money Mondays which offers moms creative and legitimate ways to make money from home.

Earning Money Online (Doing What I Love)

May has been my most successful month on Ehow. I'll be able to pay off my entire gas/electric bill with the money! Ironically, it's the month I wrote the fewest articles. For an entire week I didn't even log into my ehow account. As I do every month, I've updated my original blog post with my most recent Ehow earnings so you can continue to follow my success.  

Original March Post: 

I just did the happy dance. My hard work and dedication to writing ehow articles and trying to help my family's bottom line is paying off. The best part is my writing work is done online, from home (and in my pj's, if I want). It's passive residual income meaning it makes money even if I don't work for a few days and for an indefinite amount of time after the work is done. Three months in and I've already hit the lucky number!  

I hate to brag...but in my three short months as NewMama on ehow.com I've already earned over $100! My goal was to pay off one bill a month and in just three months I've done that and more! After all, it wasn't that long ago that I was so excited that I had earned my first 8 cents. That was at about the same time that my husband looked at my skeptically and said something to the effect of "this is a scam." A few weeks later he apologized, congratulated me and then asked how much I was transferring from my PayPal account to help pay off the credit card!

First I'll show you how my first three payouts break down, then I'll explain what I think is the key to my ehow.com success and the huge percentage increase each month.

November 22 (my first day)-December 31: $8.20
January '09: $26.75
February '09: $66.01

For a grand total: $100.96  (Read all the way to the end for continuing monthly updates)

It's hard to believe that I've earned over $100 just by doing what I love - writing. And by writing about what I know about! What's even harder to believe is that I earned 226% more in January than the previous month. And in February I increased my online earnings by another 146%! Have you ever gotten a raise like that? I haven't!

In three months I've written 93 articles. (As you can imagine it's difficult to find the time to write with an infant at home. Many dedicated ehow writers pound out 3 articles a day! Imagine how much they make!!!) The majority of my articles (60) were actually written before January 21. Why, January 21, you ask? Well that was the day I bought Writergig's Ebook "How to Earn Passive Income On eHow.com."  That was the day I realized, while my 60 articles were earning money, they could be earning so much more.  My articles weren't earning their full potential because I didn't know the proper strategies to follow. After reading this e-book I put the suggestions and techniques into practice..and, well, you see what happened.  I got a huge raise! 

Starting on January 22 I began writing a little differently, I promoted my articles differently, and I started seeing a huge earnings increase. I had a few articles that were already doing fairly well..maybe making $1-$2 a month. Those that were still sitting on a big goose egg I went in and tweaked. I changed their titles and their keywords to make sure the search engines were picking them up and I edited the copy slightly. I didn't want to spend too much time changing them since I decided to concentrate on the articles I was going to write from here on out. As of today the very first ehow article I wrote still hasn't made a cent. I'm done changing it. I have no idea why it's not making money, but I'm not wasting any more time with it. I've simply decided that's the way it is and fooling with it any more is only costing me more money.

On the other hand, I have one article that earned me $15.62 this month. I wrote it January 9th. That month it made $6.40 (since I can't see a history of per day payments I'll just say it average .22 a day). I went back and tweaked the title and added a few keywords according to ebook's suggestions and it's now averaging .56 a day. (If all 93 of my articles were making that much money I'd be making $1,453 a month! To that, my husband just said, "that's legit." Hmmm!) It's not a dated or topical article which means it has the potential to earn that much, or more, every month from here on out. I think I spent about an hour writing that one article. Think about that for an hourly rate. 

After purchasing and reading the book I also changed the way I pick article topics to write about. While I still focus on baby, parenting, and money topics (because that's what I know best) I've now tailored that focus to specific subjects that are highly searched in Google and other search engines. Out of respect for Writergig I'm not going to give away all her secrets...why would you buy her book then? But I will say there's a secret formula to earning big bucks on ehow. She should know..she's one of ehow's top earners! I only wish I had bought How to Earn Passive Income On eHow.com before I wrote those first 60 articles.

I know what it's like to go from two incomes to one. With the economy the way it is, many people are being forced into that situation. My family chose that situation. I left my job on my own terms so that I could be a stay-at-home-mom. Staying at home with my daughter is no sacrifice-I wouldn't trade it for the world. But living on one income means making lots of (simple) financial sacrifices. While Ehow certainly isn't a paycheck I would rely on, and it doesn't come close to matching what I was bringing in pre-baby, it gives me the satisfaction of continuing to contribute financially, and perhaps more importantly, it gives me the opportunity to have a creative outlet at the same time!

March '09 Update - 

Ehow: $84.35 

          + $52.00 (from a 2nd passive income stream that requires no work, as described in the ebook I read)

             March Grand Total $136.35!!! 

April '09 Update - 

Ehow: $121.67 

            + $12.50 (from a 2nd passive income stream that requires no work, as described in the ebook I read) 

            April Grand Total $ 134.17!!! 

May '09 Update -

Ehow $151.84 

           + $25 (for participating in a special Ehow writing program) 

           + $12.50 (from a 2nd passive income stream that requires no work, as described in the ebook I read) 

   May Grand Total $189.34!!!

Click here to view more details or to purchase "Earn Passive Income on Ehow.com"

Make Money Online: Write Articles That Pay

My Favorite WAHM Blogs: 

Make Money Writing at Home

Sources of Income for SAHMs

A lot of the Stay at Home Moms (SAHMs) I know were once working! Maybe not working moms, but working wives. They were contributing to their family's bottom line and relying on that paycheck. This was the case with me. In fact, I never intended to be a SAHM. We never planned for it financially - except if you count the two weeks between when I gave my notice and when I stopped working. At that point we knew we were going to one income. At least we thought we would solely be relying on my husband's paycheck. Turns out, I've found a few ways to bring home a pretty decent chunk of change while raising my daughter.


There are SAHM and then there are WAHM. I consider myself to be both. When I think of a work at home mom I usually think of someone who has a home office, telecommutes or freelances. I don't fall into any of these categories. But I do work from home with a baby, no less! I've found this site called Ehow where I can continue doing what I love - writing - and make money online all at the same time. I'm not committed to write any certain number of articles or on any specific topic. It's totally up to me when and what I write about. The great part is it's passive residual income, meaning the articles can continue to make money long after they're written. But I get no upfront payment for articles, so if it's a dud it could sit at $0 forever! The first month I was on Ehow I made a whopping $7. It's been 5 months and this month I'll get paid more than $120 for my Ehow articles. Here's more about my success on Ehow and some information if you want to get started too - it's free to sign up! (I get nothing out of you signing up, I'm simply passing along the information.)

I've also started my hand at Ebay. I first started by just looking around my house and seeing what I could easily get rid of. Stuff I no longer used, clothes that were too small, too big or never worn, purses that were collecting dust, an old flute...you get the point. Each month I've sold at least one item on Ebay which gives me a little extra money. Now, there are people who make a huge portion of their monthly income selling stuff on Ebay...they go to garage sales, buy wholesale, resell deeply discounted sale items for a profit (which I've tried and wouldn't recommend) and so on. I have simply looked around my house and sold what I no longer use and so far I've made between $10 and $75 a month through my Ebay sales.

This next money making tip is perhaps the easiest, but I have to admit it hasn't paid off for me just yet. Did you realize you could have unclaimed money just sitting somewhere waiting for you to claim it? Millions of dollars is being held by the government because people forget they have it! The IRS has unclaimed money, state treasury departments hold onto unclaimed property and funds, insurance companies and banks are waiting for people to come get their money, too! It's so easy to search for your lost money...all you have to do is enter your last name and the state where you live or lived and a database will pull up any missing money that belongs to you. (If you don't find your name on your first search, try back in six months the database is always being updated.) While I was trying this with my last name I found my husband's aunt. It said she was owed more than $100 from a time (who knows how long ago) when they lived in another state. I informed her of this and she was told she had an unclaimed escrow account of between $800 and $1000 waiting for her. She filled out the paperwork to claim her unclaimed money and is waiting for the check. That's like free money with no work involved!!!

So if you're like me and you're always thinking about your family's bottom line do something about it. Even if you're not making a traditional income you can make an income. Be creative, use the skills and knowledge you have - be it writing, sewing, researching, teaching - and put them to work on YOUR time. You'll be able to raise your children and contribute financially!

Recommended Reading:

Tips for Surviving on One Income
Use Free Budget Worksheets to See Where You Can Cut Expenses
Ehow.com
Make Money Writing Online on Your Time
Search for Unclaimed Money Belonging to You
Unclaimed Funds and IRS Rebates
How to Claim Unclaimed Money


Favorite WAHM Blogs:

Make Money Writing and Working from Home
Work at Mom Blog

Getting Back "Me Time"

I'm a stay at home mom, but I'm learning it may be more important to be a SYLM. As in a see-ya-later-mom! I've found, to be the best mom and wife, to have a happy home and a loving marriage, a stress-free week and a relaxing weekend, I need a little time to myself sometimes. A recharge if you will. It may seem impossible to fit it into you busy schedule, but if I can do it, you can too!

Getting time alone doesn't even mean you have to leave your house it can be as simple as handing your baby over your husband and taking a quiet, uninterrupted bath. Lock the door, turn on some relaxing music and try not to worry about the crying you hear downstairs. It's natural to want to run down and help, but this is your time...and it's only 30 minutes.

The moms in my neighborhood have a Ladies' Night once a month. It's supposed to be a game night but it's usually just a gabfest...about what else? Our kids. And that's okay. It's a time for all of us to commiserate, share our battle stories of labor, double check on if the dirty-diaper count  is normal and learn more than you'd ever want to know about ear infections, green snot and ear tubes. Having a ladies night can be as simple as getting together at a restaurant for a few hours after the kids go to bed or gathering at one person's house for a few hours of gabbing and drinks.

Working out is a stress reliever for a lot of women. The first few months of my daughter's life I found it challenging to work out. (Okay so I used her as an excuse because I hate working out). But anyway...I've realized working out for even an hour two or three times a week gives me a little time to unwind and burn off some energy. It helps me feel more healthy and boosts my self esteem. I feel like more than just a mom when I get done. It's also a chance for my daughter to work on the separation anxiety that she seems to be developing from being with me 24/7. My gym has a free daycare. It's perfect because I know my daughter is only a room away so if something is wrong the daycare providers can easily come get me. I always get scared when I see them walking the perimeter of the gym...why do I seem like the only one they come find to rescue my screaming daughter???

Run errands or go to the salon without dragging your baby along. Okay so running errands may not be fun, ever, but if you can avoid taking the baby, even just once or twice a month it will give you a little time to yourself. A fellow SAHM friend of mine offered to watch my baby while I went to get my hair done. It was a stress free trip to the salon knowing I didn't have to feel rushed because my little girl was getting fussy. If you can find someone who you can swap babysitting services with, even once a month, it'll really do you good.

If all else fails and the only time you get to yourself is nap time try to relax. I'm not going to say "sleep when the baby sleeps" because I know that's rarely possible. But don't break out the vacuum or balance the checkbook...instead get a have a cup of tea, read a chapter in a book, take a shower, dry your hair and put on a little makeup. Looking good is feeling good especially when you're a SAHM and it's tempting to stay in your pj's all day. Everything else will get done, just do it during the next nap. One nap a day deserves to be "mommy time."

Remember a happy mom is a happy home so find ways to get happy, relieve stress and get back a little me time. And don't feel guilty about it - you're doing everyone a favor!

Becoming a SAHM

I'm new at this whole stay-at-home mom thing.  In fact when I had my daughter in August '08 I fully planned to go back to work.  I shouldn't say "planned" I actually did go back to work in November.  Never would I have imagined staying home with my baby.  I wanted to work, to have a career and to raise my family. My husband and I always said after the second baby I'd most likely stop working, but not after the first. 

But after being back to work for a month it just wasn't working. I was working overnights in a busy TV newsroom. I left home at 10:30 at night and got home in the morning at 8am. I'd have to sleep all day, which meant putting my daughter in daycare.  Working overnights isn't for most people, but it's certainly wasn't for me as a working mother. It just wasn't jiving with any of our lives..my daughter, my husband or mine. 

We had to come to a decision and after weighing the options...many of them...(from having an overnight nanny to begging our moms for overnight help) we decided it would be best if I left my job and stayed home. 

The biggest thing holding us back initially was the financial end of it. What would not having my income mean for us? How would we pay the mortgage? How would we buy groceries? How would we pay to fill up the cars? 

Fortunately we're on my husband's health insurance so that wasn't a factor. But we did go over our monthly expenses line by line and with a fine tooth comb. If I wasn't driving 50 miles round trip to work everyday that would save us a lot of money. I'd be filling up my tank maybe every 2-3 weeks instead of every 5 days. If I didn't have daycare I'd be saving a huge amount of money (about one out of every two paychecks for us). If I was home I could pay more attention to grocery specials and clip coupons, make dinner instead of grabbing it on the way home. That proved to be a significant savings..into the hundreds of dollars! We never realized how much money we were spending on food! We cut our bi-weekly spending money that each of used on "want" items in half.  We also changed our tax withholdings which means at least $100 more per paycheck. And even though I'm home now during the day, it doesn't mean I'm not contributing financially. I'm looking for ways to come up with income, no matter how small. I've started writing articles online, I've started selling stuff we don't use anymore (clothes that are too big, etc) on ebay and I'm considering getting into direct home sales.  Check out this article for more ways to make sure you're financially set to survive on one income.

Leaving work was a huge decision for me, as I'm sure it is for most mothers. I now have another job though, and that's taking care of my daughter and our household. I'm glad I can keep contributing even if it isn't attached to a paycheck.