Look what I found...

Tall leaves his dirty clothes on the floor of his room...even though the hamper is like a couple of steps from his door.  I have told him 100 times about it but I still seem to find the endless pile of clothes on his floor.

So last night I was picking up a couple of pairs of his shorts when one of them "crinkled"......

Yes...crinkled....

I reached inside the one pocket....

And I found this....

What!!!???

I almost fell over!  He has had a girlfriend for a couple of months but there is no way my 17 year old son would need a condom!!  17 year olds don't have sex...do they???

Then I started thinking that maybe he was using it for other purposes and I came up with 20 possible suggestions:

1. Hair tie
2. Slip 'er over a payphone to avoid "NASTY" germs
3. Bathing cap (if you stretch it in the right manner)
4. Neat travel case for your toothbrush
5. An emergency air-sickness bag
6. Put them on soda cans to keep the fizz in when you're not drinking it.
7. Travel size shampoo and conditioner holders
8. A turkey baster
9. Keep your hot dog juicy in the microwave
10. Latex toe warmers
11. Stuff, and use to stop drafts under doors
12. Fill with rocks and use to as a weapon in a crisis situation
13. Makeshift sandbags in the event of a flood
14. To keep candles dry when camping
15. Build your own incredible "Water Weenies"
16. Golf club cozy
17. A way to save that half-eaten banana
18. Change purse
19. Cake frosting dispenser
20. For those long car trips that dad hates to stop for potty breaks

Yes...one of those has to be the reason that wrapper was in his pocket!!

But then my curiosity got the best of me and I went investigating in his room. 

It didn't take me but 5 minutes.

And then I found these:

Did he have that many half eaten bananas?  Water balloons?  Was he decorating a cake?

Why were they all opened and put back in their package??

Well I was going to find out!!

So being the Mom that I am, I decided to lay the Fire and Ice wrapper on my bed beside Ozzie (cat)....I waited until Tall was walking by my room and said, "Awww come see Ozzie"....so Tall comes in and pets Ozzie and I said, "look at Ozzie.....really look at Ozzie"....well his eyes finally focus on the wrapper and I think I actually saw beads of sweat pop out of his forehead.

Tall:  "Ummmm ohhhh" 
Me:  What is that for?  Are you having sex??
Tall:  We only did it twice!
Me:  Twice?? Where??
Tall:  Once here and once at her house!
Me:  Here?  Where?
Tall: In the basement!
Me:  In the basement?  What if someone came down?  Like Short!
Tall: Ummmm I don't know!
Me:  Ugh!  Well I do appreciate you using birth control but a condom doesn't mean she won't get pregnant and your too young to have sex!  Is she on birth control?
Tall: No...her Mom won't let her!
Me:  Omg...yeah she won't let her because you two shouldn't be having sex!!
Tall: I'm actually glad you found it because I wanted you to know!
Me:  Well then you should have told me!  I'd rather you tell me then to find them!
Tall: Sorry!
Me:  So why was there so many and why were they put back in their wrappers?
Tall: Ummmm well I was practicing!
Me:  Omg...what kind of response do I say to that??
Tall: Well I didn't want to look like I didn't know how to use them, so I was practicing!
Me:  Has she had sex before?  Because I know you haven't!
Tall: She had sex with 2 other guys and no I haven't had sex before!
Me:  2 other guys!  Slut!! (I didn't say that but I wanted to)....omg....
Tall: Its fine Mother....its not like we do it all the time!
Me:  Well now you might not be but 2 times turns into more time and more times.....
Tall: I'm so glad we had this talk!
Me:  I'm not...I'm freaked out! 
Tall: Can I throw those away now?  I didn't want you to find them in the trash.
Me:  Oh so you'd rather me find them buried in your closet?
Tall: Oh like you wouldn't have freaked out if you found them in the trash?
Me:  Of course I would but I wish you would have just talked to me...I thought you knew that!
Tall: Well I wasn't sure...now I know...thanks Mother!
Me:  Mother?  What happened to Mom??

Out the door he went.  Happy as can be.

Me?  I'm left trying to process what just happened.

Life was so much easier when they were little and played with their matchbox and instead of trojan boxes!

Give me strength! And suggestions...what do you do? You can't prevent your kids from having sex! Or can you....

White T-Shirt

Being a Mom of 4 boys is really rather interesting. Plus I have 2 sisters and all girl cousins so I grew up not knowing a whole lot about the male species. Things that I have seen over the years sometimes puzzle me and often times gross me out!

I am particular about bed making...I simply cannot walk past a bed without making it...so every morning after I wake up Short, I venture into Tall's room because he never makes his bed and it only takes a couple of minutes to throw the covers on and fluff the pillow.

So for the last several months, when I walk around to the further side of his bed I noticed something white sticking out from under the bed....not thinking anything of it, I'd reach down it and was always one of his t-shirts....again..not thinking anything of it and tossing it into the laundry.

Well yesterday I was making his bed and I walked around to the other side and there was the t-shirt again.



This time when I reached down, my hand got a hold of something...well ummmm....dried and crusted!!?? Ewwwwww...so I picked it up...touching as little of the t-shirt as possible....holding it up to the light (yes I really did that)...omg...Nooooooooooo...not my little boy (almost 17)...but still little in my mind!

So I decided to investigate alittle further even though I could hardly control myself...I stooped down and lifted up his bed skirt and found this:



A sea of white t-shirts! Is this really something teenage boys do?? Yes of course they do, but not my son! Venti never had t-shirts laying around...neither did Grande....what happened to tissues or in the shower?? Or never at all?? I know he is a normal teenager...but couldn't he at least throw them in the laundry so I wouldn't see them??

Joe said I should put a post it note on one of them and say, "please place in laundry or use a tissue"....