|mpress|ons of An Express|on

Saturday, March 24, 2012

....................

screwed up night.
wat a way to end such a beautiful concert we all had.

nw all the noise n ruckus n yelling at each other n all the most negative thoughts r running thru my head lk a leaking tap.

i hate this feeling.
knowing tt we cant talk abt this peacefully, tt we hav so many differences in opinions lk tt.
n tt we dunnoe how to agree to disagree.

having a war within me, tts how it feels nw.

i dun even feel lk submitting the form tml. i know im nv gonna be prepared for it.
bt tonite seems to be the most disturbing of all the uneasiness I've had in recent days.
i wish the test stops here.

BacK By M3,
Joyce

Joyce at 3/24/2012 01:41:00 AM :: link

Friday, February 10, 2012

.......................

confused. insecure. lost.

was i right to have taken tt course.
a course tt caused me to miss practices, smth i never missed in the past 7 years except times whn i was sick or shag.

feeling lk i lost out on a lot of things.
all the times we bickered for the fun of it.
times slapping each other on the back.
times whn ppl mistake us cos we r so close.

feeling lk i lost out on all the fun, joy, n laughter frm the choir's gatherings n bondings.

totally overwhelmed by insecurity nw.

5 weeks into classes, which meant 5 weeks wifout joining in practice [although i skipped 1 class jux to attend practice].
its been pretty much a torture no matter how fun the music class in skol may be.
my mind tries to concentrate in class, absorb as much as i can.
bt my heart always decides to pull me away frm doing so before the class.

doesnt help tt i feel as if ppl i love r getting more distant frm me.

jealousy tt overtakes me. getting jealous over wat they say, wat they post.

everything put together jux makes me so unsettled abt my choice to take this class.

dun reali noe wat to make out of all these im feeling.
is it a sign for me to learn n take this lesson away wif me as i enter workforce?
or is it jux another shitty once-in-a-while thing?

i hate this.
piece of crap.

BacK By M3,
Joyce

Joyce at 2/10/2012 03:06:00 AM :: link

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

.....................................

Sara Bareilles - Love on the Rocks

We met on a rainy evening in the summertime
Don't think I need to tell you more
I needed a raise I worked so hard for this love of mine
Still I got nothing to show for it.

Here's a simplification of everything we're going though
You plus me is bad news
But you're a lovely creation and I like to think that I am too
But my friend said I look better without you.

Tongue tied and twisted, go on baby and go to my head.

Babe, baby believe me
If I stay it ain't gonna be easy
Okay we'll do it your way
But this is the last time
You'll hear the beautiful sound of love coming down
Love on the rocks.

You love the chase but hate me for the runaround
We both just tired of the whole thing.
You tell me what you want you need you know you have to have
And I just pretend I'm listening

Too tired this time to deal with old suits you wear with your ties that won't bind.

Babe, baby believe me
If I stay it ain't gonna be easy
Okay we'll do it your way
But this is the last time
You'll hear the beautiful sound of love coming down
Love on the rocks.

Hot as hell cold as ice sip it slow cause it's so nice
Dulls my senses drives my pain but I do it again
Burns a bit to the touch dangerous if it's too much
If this bottle could talk
Love on the rocks

Babe, baby believe me
If I stay it ain't gonna be easy
Okay we'll do it your way
But this is the last time
You'll hear the beautiful sound of love coming down

puzzled.
so its my impatience this time..

life's so darn difficult.

Back By M3,
Joyce

Joyce at 7/20/2011 02:16:00 AM :: link

Thursday, May 12, 2011

..............

back here. heavy hearted again.
said everything i had to becos he asked.
but it still gets me down so much. all tt has happened.
the history tt repeats, the same issues tt surface, the same old talk.

times lk this jux gets me down so much tt i cant tink positive.
i dun see whr we r headed toward.. for another vicious cycle of this?

im always sorry for venting my anger on the ones tt i shudnt.

bt it's always these insecurities tt kills us.
will we ever get past it?

sometimes i reali wish i cud run away.

BacK By M3,
Joyce

Joyce at 5/12/2011 12:29:00 AM :: link

Sunday, March 13, 2011

...........................

finally back after such a long time.. :)

dunnoe why bt some thoughts jux came to my mind.
will my life change drastically whn i get married?
will i be different towards ppl?
will our friendship be different?

i nv thought tt things will change in close friendships.
until Bianca mentioned it the other dae.
i dint say much.
i felt it was an unhappy thought n wanted to brush it aside.

bt i jux realised tt the comment she made did stay in my mind all these while.
probably at the back of my head since the dae she said it.

nw tt im reminded of it, it makes me feel lost n uneasy.
maybe the dae dint seem to hav made it any better.

bt..
i suppose we can make the difference n an impact on how things will eventually turn out?
it's sometimes abt the mentality we take tt determines how we behave n react.
differences can be overcome if we want to overcome it.
so maybe things wudnt be tt bad afterall.

i believe.
we can.
and we will.

BacK By M3,
Joyce

Joyce at 3/13/2011 03:10:00 AM :: link

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

..........................

unsettled.

sometimes it makes u feel like just giving it up..
but yet, that's not my goal when i set sail on this course..
going through thick and thin should be the learning goal here.
but sometimes, just sometimes, i feel like my love bank is depleting ever so quickly.

i'm trying to fill that little piggy bank up..
while it seems like it's being neglected. or maybe it's my fault that i'm not expressing it well.

give and take.
it's always easy to take, but difficult to give.
what more give your love.

the trials.
with You.

Hillsongs - The Potter's Hand

Beautiful Lord, Wonderful Savior
I know for sure
All of my days are held in your hands
Crafted into
Your perfect plan

You gently call me into your presence
Guiding me by Your Holy Spirit
Teach me dear Lord
To live all of my life
Through Your eyes

I'm captured by
Your holy calling
Set me apart,
I know you're drawing me to yourself
Lead me Lord I pray

Take me, mould me, use me, fill me
I give my life to the Potter's hand
Call me, guide me, lead me, walk beside me
I give my life to the Potter's hand

BacK By M3,
Joyce

Joyce at 11/10/2010 02:39:00 AM :: link

Thursday, October 28, 2010

..........................

Corrinne May - Every Beat of My Heart

So here we stand
Anchored in hope
Letting the rain wash away every fear
Stars in the sky
Twinkle and shine
I pray they won't disappear
'Cause I don't know
where your journey goes
or how long it will take to unfold
But as long as we keep this moment shining in the dark
I will be watching over every beat of your heart

I wish that time
Could be replayed
I'd keep you here with me everyday
They say that love is letting go
I hope that you find your way
'cause I don't know
where your journey goes
or how long it will take to unfold
But as long as we keep this moment shining in the dark
I know you're watching over every beat of my heart

Every beat of my heart..
Every beat of my heart..
Every beat of my heart..

here in the late night, with a little heavy heart.
things are sinking in bit by bit.

life's really just a ride afterall.

it's just that sometimes u just forget that it's just a ride.
sometimes we think we are in control of it.
sometimes we just think that's what we should have.
sometimes we forget that You are there.

it was an enjoyable ride.
no regrets been on the ride with u.

BacK By M3,
Joyce

Joyce at 10/28/2010 04:08:00 AM :: link

Saturday, October 02, 2010

....................

Corrinne May - Let It Go

I think we've been here before
I recognize this place
I've seen the marks of confusion
wipe out a single sign of grace
And I don't want to play anymore
Not when the stakes are so high
So before we circle round once more
I'm gonna lay down,
Lay down my pride

Let it go, let it be
Don't waste all your emotion on this
tit-for-tat machine
Let it go, let it be
Let it go

I turn on the TV
and it screams out at me
Nothing seems to have changed
since the start of Adam and Eve
So we're waiting for the sky to fall
and we're buying brand new toys
But before we circle round once more
Can we lay down
Just lay down this pride

Let it go, let it be
Don't waste all your emotion on this
tit-for-tat machine
Let it go, let it be
Let it go
Don't go wasting your emotions
No one wins if we keep score
Let it go, let it be
Let it go

I think we've been here before

love those little God messages on facebook.
somehow it seems God reali speaks thru tt platform.

been feeling unhappy, uncontented abt things for weeks.
constantly wondering whether it's jux me.
whether i caused all the bickers, n am the onli one feeling insecure.
keeping score of all tt happened, all the unhappy moments.
recalling it over n over again, wondering wat went wrong. whose fault tt caused it.
where was the starting pt of all these.

n i think i finally am seeing how all God's messages ties in together.

when im afraid of losing u.
n He said,"God hid our biggest rewards behind the highest barriers - our deepest fears. God wants us to face our fears, and hold ground in their presence, and let them go, and that's how we get out biggest rewards. What are you most afraid of? Say it, just start by saying it."

why did things happen the way it did.
He said,"that there is a time and a season for everything. It may be a time of new beginnings, a time of growth, a time of reaping the harvest of hard work, or a time of rest. Trust this beautiful order. Everything in its time."

wat's gonna happen nw.
He said,"Why not decide once and for all, and love once and for all. And be content."

You alone know my heart's desires, truly.

BacK By M3,
Joyce

Joyce at 10/02/2010 02:33:00 AM :: link