What happened to Natty?

As it's my blog's birthday ("does that mean there are spankings?" A. asked hopefully when I mentioned it to him the other day), I figured it's as good a day as any to post a brief update since my last post was over a year and a half ago. Plus, it might be interesting to see how many of you dear readers still subscribe (I totally understand if you've dropped me; there's hotter and more frequent postings to be had elsewhere). Regular readers can probably guess rather easily as to what has caused the silence (and all the new visitors have had a big clue in the opening sentence of that last post from ever so long ago). Even in the giddy, Neurontin-fueled days of early 2005, I only had the energy to post once every week or two. With each passing year as I became sicker, the number of posts grew smaller (with the exception of 2008 when a hormonal treatment gave me a burst of energy that translated into a burst of posts that summer -- until I quickly used up all that extra energy). I managed to squeeze out a handful of posts in 2010 until finally I could no longer post after January 2011.

Not because I wasn't thinking about spanking anymore. When you spend a lot of time in bed not quite asleep but without enough energy to sit up, you spend a lot of time thinking. In addition to solving the Israel-Palestine conflict, considering ways to bridge the U.S political divide, and deciding how I want to decorate my apartment once I'm well enough, I've also spent my fair share of time thinking about our favorite subject. Mind you, there's been far less fantasizing about spanking than at probably any time in my life since I was, say, seven (instead I've fantasized about interior design and pajama fashion). On better days I have found myself thinking over just how I'm going to beat A. the next time he visits or trying to remember every detail of a typical over-the-knee spanking with A., beginning with his usual polite command of "bare bottom, please" to his sweet sigh of "Okay. All done." But most thoughts about spanking have been on the philosophical and theoretical side, some inspired by the thoughts of other spanko bloggers I read occasionally (and of whom I've felt an insane amount of envy -- not just because you were healthy enough to be spanked but because you could also write about it). For several months I kept a list of the posts I wanted to write when I was well enough. But as the months kept passing and the list required multiple pages, I quit keeping it. I suppose some amount of despair played a part in that decision. And some post-topics were no longer timely. 

As I began to improve this spring, I started the list again. Indeed last November, knowing that improvement was coming, I even started a similarly-titled post to this one that I worked on paragraph by paragraph to explain what had happened (believe it or not, you're reading the shorter version). I had just transferred care to a new GP who makes house calls, which meant I would be able to pay off a bit of my energy credit card that had been maxed out on my apartment building's renovation, my sister's wedding, and lots of trips to the clinic to get my INR checked each week because of so many medication changes. But as the balance came down and I finally had a little energy again, the temptation to charge activities to that energy credit card was too much. Now I'm maxed out once again and in the midst of a nasty relapse that I'm slowly climbing my way out of. The problem with this disease isn't so much that it necessarily leaves you physically unable to do things; it's that it beats the shit out of you afterwards. 

There's more to what has happened to Natty (that's actually spanking related, I swear!), not to mention, I'd love to hear about what's been happening in the spanking blogosphere over the last two years -- what do you think has been the biggest change or event?. But writing, believe it or not, is the equivalent of running a sprint for me, not to mention my heart rate monitor alarm (aka The Bossy Nurse On My Wrist) keeps going off.* Don't even get me started on what Nanny/Nurse Bea would be doing...you know, if she existed...

Thank you to all of you who have visited over this long dry spell. There will be future posts to this blog (and at the Punishment Book). I just can't say when that will be. But then, given my penchant for attention-whoring, it's not such a bad thing for me sit back and read what other people are writing rather than needing people to read my probably-not-as-profound-as-I-think ruminations. Since I'm easing my way back into the spanking blogosphere, maybe you can share your favorite blog or tumblr that you've come across in the last year and a half or so in the comments section. You know, in lieu of birthday spanks (at least for the time being).

One last thing: Reading the depressing ramblings of a sick woman can, at least for some people, feel like an exercise in helplessness (not to mention, is so un-hot and just plain boring). But you're not as helpless as you might think. There are things you can do for me and other people with ME/CFS (or other chronic illnesses, for that matter) -- plenty of whom are also spankos: 

1. Enjoy being healthy. There's a reason for the old cliche, I've still got my health. Once your health goes, everything else gets so much worse. And at some point, it probably will go since, according to a staff member at Independent Living Resources, 70% of people will be disabled at some point in their life (that is why we have programs for the disabled like Medicaid and Social Security, not because we're magnanimous people who care about the weakest among us). I know it's impossible to not take being healthy for granted. However at least, in this moment, be grateful if you can spank or be spanked. Leave your home. Take a shower every day. And not in the feeling-guilty-because-others-can't way. Simply really, truly treasure it. Every last sensual detail. 
2. Learn more about ME/CFS. Appreciate that this is not just a benign condition of mere tiredness (and anyone who says that it is, is being disingenuous at best).  I think it's fair to say that every ME/CFS patient hates the assholes who came up with the name "Chronic Fatigue Syndrome" in 1987 because it minimizes almost to the point of invalidating the horrible reality of this disease (it was a trans-governmental committee, which, you know, explains a lot). While I'm not sure if "Myalgic Encephalomyelitis" is the right name for this condition, I do know that this is a seriously painful, debilitating and, in some cases, potentially life-threatening (I've had blood clots in both lungs) multi-systemic disease that deserves not only better public awareness but also a moniker that better describes its severity. I mean, imagine calling Alzheimer's Disease "Chronic Forgetting Syndrome." And then hearing everybody say "oh, I think I have that" because they sometimes forget a name or misplace their keys.
3. You can donate money -- and/or your talents -- to organizations like Simmaron Research, the CFIDS Association of America, or IACFSME in the US or Invest in ME, the ME Association, or Action for ME  in the UK** that are working to understand this condition and develop treatments but are woefully underfunded. While ME/CFS is, symptom-wise, quite similar to Multiple Sclerosis and Congestive Heart Failure -- on which the National Institutes for Health spent  $121 million and $1.2 billion respectively in 2011 -- ME/CFS is routinely among the diseases the NIH spends the least on, coming in at $6 million that same year (and the year before and even less the year before that).*** Good research with double-blinded, randomized, placebo-controlled studies cost insane amounts of money (which is one of the reasons research about ME/CFS is often of such poor quality) and every last dollar helps. A letter to your congress-person or MP about the lack of funding couldn't hurt either.
4. I can guarantee there is a patient in your area who would think you are the incarnation of Mother Theresa herself should you offer any assistance to him or her (for instance, as someone who is completely housebound, I can also guarantee that housebound person in your area needs something from the store). Indeed you probably already have a friend with a chronic illness, and an ancient blog post, "50 ways to help a chronically ill friend" (originally posted at a blog called "Living with Fibromyalgia," which is now private, which is why I've linked to it on a blog about gastroparesis) is great in its specificity. Saying "let me know if you need anything" is almost certain to get you off the hook of ever helping him or her out. But if you actually do want to help, offer something specific like, say, oh...going to the store (am I being too passive aggressive? Should I just come out and say I need a list of shit from Ikea?). Seriously though, never being able to leave your home is incredibly isolating and just visiting will make their day. (Though I am serious about the Ikea list...you know, if you're in Portland and happen to be going...) Consider contacting a support group in your area, your local county government branch of Aging and Disability Services, or Meals on Wheels if you're looking for someone to help. 

Well, aren't I a wordy bitch? But then, sick people often are. Partly because we have trouble summarizing ourselves well. But also because being sick -- whether acutely or chronically -- makes you more self absorbed. Not because you mean to be. It's an evolutionary response to a threat. Consider what you're like the next time you're in the Emergency Room and that heart attack patient is seen before your tuberculosis-esque cough. Yep. I know. Those nurses are total bitches for seeing him before you!

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*A brief explanation (a 10-minute video) of why using a heart rate monitor can be helpful for ME/CFS can be found here, as well as in an article here at CFIDS & Fibromyalgia Self-Help. The CFIDS Association of America has a longer webinar about post-exertional malaise (or post-exertional neuro-immune exhaustion as it's called in the ICC diagnostic-criteria) and its relationship to significant metabolic impairment in ME/CFS. CAA also has a four-part series on post-exertional malaise that is loaded with helpful information for patients and non-patients alike.

**Some of these organizations are controversial in the ME/CFS patient community and, in many cases, the criticisms have some validity. However the politics are complicated and often pointless -- imho -- albeit fiercely contested by those who think otherwise.

***ME/CFS affects about 1 million patients in the U.S. compared to 250,000-300,000 with Multiple Sclerosis according to the National Institute of Neurological Disorders and Strokes. ME/CFS costs the US economy between $17-24 billion a year in health care, disability benefits, and lost wages and taxes according to a DePaul University study (though would be higher if many of those ME/CFS patients who applied for disability benefits didn't get turned down and, of course, if we actually had treatments for the disease). Congestive Heart Failure rates are similar at 1-2 million U.S. patients and, while I'm unsure of its cost to the national economy, I imagine it is significant. 

The Birch swings no more

During our last exchange, Alex Birch and I were having a very emotional debate on the soc.sexuality.spanking Usenet newsgroup about terrorism and the requirements for a liberal society. Try as we might to stay on topic (i.e. spanking), politics is never far from the list of current discussions on the newsgroup. That particular discussion did not end with any sort of agreement between the two of us. Indeed his conclusions left me in despair. Had I known it was going to be our last conversation, I sure as hell would have talked about something far more cheerful. Far more related to spanking.

We never had the pleasure to meet in person, though I always assumed we probably would at some point. When I was better and could get on a plane and go to England finally. He and A. would talk about football and the Midlands and we'd all talk about spanking and his library of out-of-print spanking fiction.

Not that we had the lengthy, ongoing Conversation that he and Mija had. I've only been reading and posting to the newsgroup for eight years (on Saturday), making me a newbie compared to them. While I'd read plenty of his posts on SSS, we didn't really interact all that much until he was setting up his wonderful blog in 2005. As I had -- at least in his mind -- already mastered blogging on Blogger, he asked for my help, earning me far more gratitude from him than was worth my certainly earnest, if not always helpful, assistance. After that I felt more comfortable talking with him both on the newsgroup and in email, though it had dwindled over the last year or so, as have most of my other correspondences, due to illness. Meaning that I didn't know about his illness...

I can't imagine the newsgroup without him. The stories. The arguments. The jokes. The arguments. The encouragement (scolding?) each and every summer to do your part in the annual Short Story Contest. The arguments.

And where will the spankosphere get its fix of out-of-print spanking fiction and pictures of spanking models from the 1970s?

I hope he's somewhere with a sassy lass across his knee, giving her the hiding they are both enjoying.

Kinky Santa at FetLife

So I'm pimping FetLife's "Sitting on Kinky Santa's Lap Giveaway" here on the blog to get my name in the hat an extra time. Shameless, I know. Especially as it probably won't increase my chances of winning all that much given the sheer number of people at FetLife. But hey, just might get lucky.

What did I ask Santa for?

• A Strapped Satin Jacquard Corset from BigGalsLingerie   (who have a number of hot plus-size dresses -- including cute and sexy holiday outfits!)
  
• An Impact Play Kit from Maui Kink
  
• A Custom Cane Case and Canes from Maui Kink   (be sure to check out their amazing and unique collection of toys, including one I've got my eye on - the Victorian Rug Beater Paddle [scroll down on the link to view])

The pickings are a bit slim for those of us who identify primarily as spankos rather than more extreme BDSMers. Though if you fancy a corset or a flogger, you're set.

I wonder if next year Kinky Santa might be able to fill his bag of toys from these vendors:

• The London Tanners (been drooling over Ian's toys for years now)
• Bobbies Drop Seats (I want the sailor dress...and the Emily dress...and...and)
• Adam & Gillian's (who doesn't need a sjambok?)
• Academy Wear (The headmaster says I need a gym slip and bottle green undies)
• Medical Toys (er...just...::blush::)
  

I'm sure I'll think of a few more later. Feel free to add some you think are missing from Kinky Santa's toybag in the comments section.

A jolly good time

Geesh. It's been so long since I stopped by Blogger that the compose interface page has changed!

It's mostly Microsoft's fault. On October 14th I downloaded the ginormous security updates from Microsoft and haven't been able to open Windows on my laptop since. My dad spent two days last week working on a system restore to no avail. As you can imagine, I've been cursing Microsoft with the crudest expletives I can think of since.

It had to happen just after the most amazing research development in ME/CFS history. Not only have I been wanting to read obsessively about it and can't, but the ME/CFS group I hand-moderate went crazy. Instead of spending a combined total of 10 minutes a month moderating in the comfort of my bed, I've been sitting up in the kitchen on the broken down Averatec I'm sharing with A. for a half-hour to an hour a day approving posts and trying to keep everyone in line (with mixed results).

Unfortunately I can only handle sitting up in the kitchen for a maximum of a half-hour to an hour most days. So, you know, there wasn't much energy for anything else like, oh say, reading any of my other email. Twittering and/or blogging, of course, came to a screeching halt.

Moreover A. and I have been passing a cold of some sort back and forth. It's meant a stuffy nose and chest for him and vertigo for me as it affected my inner ear. For the last month we've been in a cycle where I'd start to feel better on Friday. We'd play gently on Saturday.  I'd crash on Monday and be so sick for the rest of the week that I didn't really care that I was jonesing for Twitter and didn't have a laptop with which to get online.

Last week the vertigo finally settled down, but then I started having problems again with my sacroiliac joint and left hip slipping out of place. Sitting at the computer in the kitchen was excruciating. And spanking was out of the question.

Yep. It's been a jolly good time.

But things are starting to look up. I'm sitting and walking fairly comfortably now and the world is no longer spinning, though I think we both still have a bit of stuffiness in our lungs and noses. My moderation duties have quieted back down as our group returns to its usual tepid level of discussion.

Alas, however, blogging will have to wait for a bit. Some incredibly generous friends are donating a used MacBook but it will be another week or two before it will be in bed with me (hehe that sounds so kinky).

Usually such breaks from the computer mean I have a lot to write when I finally come back. And this break, I suspect, will be no exception. So, I'll see you all in a couple of weeks with lots of naughty thoughts and stories.

Why does Natty need a spanking?

The Wooden Anniversary contest ends tonight at 11:59 pm Pacific Savings Time (give or take a few minutes). I've been getting a trickle of entries, but suspect many of you are like me and procrastinate (Natty has definitely been spanked more than once for that, lemme tell ya!). So here's your friendly reminder. Put yer thinkin' caps on and submit a clever reason to convince A. that Natty needs a spanking (ha! like he needs a reason...). Multiple submissions are totally cool.

I might even throw in some of my famous chocolate chip cookies as a prize now that I've figured out how to ship them so they stay fresh...

Your potty mouth has a point

The word fuck never crossed my lips until I got sick. Until I got vertigo, to be exact. I had just started my first grown-up (i.e. non academic) job in June 2000. I even had my own cubicle and business cards. Then I woke up the day after Independence Day with everything spinning. When the doctor diagnosed me with labyrinthitis, telling me there was nothing that he could do and I just had to wait up to 6 weeks for it to leave on its own, I walked to the bus stop across the street from my clinic and let out a torrent of Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!

Turns out, it may have been a good coping mechanism. Indeed, this study shows that swearing actually can help reduce the intensity of pain -- something else that increased a great deal once I got sick. And needless to say, I swear like a sailor now. Though, according to the psychologist who did the study, the more you swear, the less effective it may be.

So now you have a very good excuse the next time you yell out a fuck! or a shit! during a particularly painful beating. I mean, it's scientific evidence!

A new, more substantive post about body size and kink is forthcoming. Illness and other events have conspired to limit my blogging of late, but not my thinking. Hopefully I'll be sharing some of those thoughts I've been itching to blog about in the next day or so.

And there are only a few more days left in the Natty's Spanking Blog Fifth Anniversary contest. I'd so love it if you'd stop by and help me celebrate my half a decade of blogging!

The wooden anniversary

(A birthday bum)*

The traditional gift for the fifth anniversary is wood. Or something made of wood. Both of which seem entirely appropriate for the fifth anniversary of a blog about spanking.

For most of those five years A. and I have talked about having a contest on this blog but have never quite gotten around to it. However since someone should get a present being that it's a birthday -- not to mention a spanking -- we decided this would be the perfect occasion for a contest.

Why Should Natty Get A Spanking?

To enter this contest, you must complete the following sentence in 10 words or less (for a maximum total of 15 words):

"Natty needs a spanking because _______________ ."

I must warn you that A. is a curmudgeon of an editor (which I always find yummy hot) so make sure your entry is grammatically correct, spelled properly, apostrophes are in the right place, etc. Entries will be judge on creativity and general cleverness (i.e. it's totally subjective). You can submit entries either in the comments section of this post or you may email them to me at nattyspanked [at] yahoo [dot] com.

The deadline for entries is August 31st at 11:59pm, Pacific Standard Time (8 hours behind UK time; 3 hours behind the East Coast). A. arrives on September 28th so he'll be here to help me pick the winner sometime in early October and administer the prize.

And what is that prize? You get to direct A. in spanking me over Twitter with accompanying TwitPics. You get to pick the implement(s), the position(s), and the number of strokes. Note that my health issues (i.e. being on blood thinners) will present some constraints, which I will appraise the winner of before the spanking commences.

OR

A handmade wankin' spankin' tool similar to the one pictured in this post but with a handle in your choice of cording or ribbon. It can, of course, also be used by a partner, but it will hurt more. ::grin::

AND

I'm in the process of putting together a book compiling my best posts and all of my stories, including one or two that have not been previously posted. The winner of this contest will receive the first copy, which should be out around December.

oOo

You may have noticed that I finally got around to completing what I hadn't quite finished for last year's anniversary, namely, creating a banner of my very own. It's only taken me a year to get a working scanner (though I still can't get the printer part to print black text...but I digress). The header of this blog now sports a cute drawing by A. referencing a popular pin-up girl from his youth.

Now I just have to figure out how to make my banner available for others to use (i.e. toplists)...

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*Yes, that really is my bottom with a lit candle between my cheeks. I took the picture for A.'s birthday a few years ago. It seemed more appropriate for this post than a cake

Stay tuned

Good lord, has it really been a month since I last posted? It feels like it was just last week! How the time flies when you're sick and in pain and your dad's in the hospital and you've got to find a new caregiver (again). Especially when you sleep 12-15 hours a day.

At least I'm still doing better than 94% of bloggers, who, according to this month's Harper's Index, haven't updated their blogs in four months. Not that I'm competitive or anything.

My sacroiliac joint is doing a lot better, and I'm definitely spankable again, even if most of my play has been of the wankin' spankin' sort.* I've been working on a new VibeReview fantasy (though at this point it may be long enough to stand alone) that should be posted in the coming week, along with (hopefully!) a post about some spanking fantasies I'd rather forget.

Mostly I just wanted to say thanks for hanging in there with me and continuing to stop by. And stay tuned. While I may not be the sexiest of sex bloggers, I do have some upcoming posts that I think will be erotic, entertaining, and perhaps even a little enlightening.
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*Don't look at me like that. You know you've done it too. And besides, I gotta toughen my ass up before A. takes a crack at it again.

A couple of reading assignments

Before the horror detailed in the last post, I was going through a bad illness spell and forgot to give a shout out to Blog Nosh, which featured an old post of mine about the rather elitist nature of porn. Blog Nosh is an online magazine that publishes a variety of quality, archived blogging. It does tend to be heavy on the mommy blogging, but you will find much there to enjoy whatever your gender or offspring situation.

And since I'm unspankable -- for the moment! -- I thought I'd direct you to a new blog syndication site in the spankosphere, named aptly enough World's Top Spanking Blogs but with a bit of a British flavor. What I like about this site is that it's nicely laid out, easy on the eyes (no flashing ads), and focused on text.

Off you go now. You have some reading to do.

I'll probably get spanked for this post...

Ah, dear reader, I have not forgotten you. Indeed I have missed you all a great deal these last few weeks as I've padded the blog with obligatory repostings.

Recently I've been trying out a new internet regime as part of my effort to rest more. My time online is limited to two and a half hours and damn does it go fast. The new regime has produced results. I've felt stronger and had less pain this last week. Now I just have to figure out how to spend less time reading every fascinating thing I stumble upon (not to mention Twittering), and more time strategically spending my allotted minutes blogging.

In the meantime I thought I'd link (yes...more padding) you to a prize-winning story I read awhile back that those of you who like schoolgirl stories might enjoy. No, there is no spanking. It's a contemporary story. But the main character is indeed a naughty girl who gets herself into trouble. The writing is rich, sensual, and truly wonderful. And I really loved the ending.

Right. I'm 40 minutes late for bed and I think...oh dear, maybe an hour over my limit? I haven't been paying enough attention tonight...

Broken power cord

Letting you all know with my last 12% of power left in my battery that I'm offline until I get a new one, which probably won't be until next week. Hope to have lots of hot and thoughtful stuff then.

SpankingTube: Family-friendly porn?

Thanks to a spanko friend at soc.sexuality.spanking, I've discovered a new web addiction: Spanking Tube. Yup, that's right -- YouTube (which I love) and spanking (which, um, I'm clearly a fan of) -- merge together like peanut butter and chocolate into one yummy site. For many of you, this site is not new, and I'm wildly behind the times. But I'm sure there are at least a few of you reading for whom this will be an exciting discovery as well.

After watching several videos, I decided to sign-up so that I could subscribe to various users' latest videos. And this, dear friends, is what popped up after I registered (click on the picture and note the bit circled in yellow with the big yellow arrow):


Because I'm sure you've always wanted to share a recently uploaded video of your adult diaper play with Aunt Betty or that night at the dungeon with Grandma...

Only a muddled rant about A. leaving

I was attempting to write a post threading the change in Washington that A. and I watched on Tuesday with the change happening to us that day, namely A.'s return to England the next morning. But my brain is goo. Liquidy gelatinous goo, matching my gooey limbs and gooey breathing and all around gooey ickiness.

Tuesday night before A. left was not nearly as erotic as last time. There was a little spanking (a few whacks of the ruler and the cane, respectively) and a lot less sleep (hence the current ickiness) as he had a very early flight so we just stayed up until it was time for him to leave.

This separation is probably going to be a long one thanks to the asinine vagueness of the Visa Waiver Program in which there is no rule about how many times a person can visit the US using the VWP, only that one cannot "abuse" it. And nobody from the State Department on down can say exactly what does constitute "abuse." It is solely up to the discretion of each individual border officer. So you can imagine the vicissitudes that accompany concentrating so much power into one lone bitchy bureaucrat with a small penis like the one who grudgingly let A. into the country when he arrived this last time, but only after a long lecture and final warning (implying earlier warnings that A. has no recollection of) about how A. is abusing the system by coming to visit so much. We are still trying to ascertain the nature of this "final" warning. Does this mean he can't visit anymore? Or that he needs to space the visits out more? Or...?

I can only hope that the change our new president is bringing with him will include, among other things, clearly articulated border policy. I mean, the UK manages to do it successfully. They state definitively that, say, I cannot be there more than six months out of any twelve-month period. Seems reasonable, no?

If only I was healthy enough to get on a plane for 14 hours...

Alright, enough of my rant.

My health has been really up and down lately -- and more down the last two weeks than up. My in plenum quickly vanished amid a bad reaction to a new medication that I still haven't quite recovered from. But once I do recover, I should be posting more, especially as I tend to do more writing when A. is gone.

Since this post has been short on anything remotely sexy, I'll send you over to this post I was reading a few days ago extolling the virtues of a well-arched female bottom awaiting a good hiding. Sometimes simplicity really is best.

Lurker luvin'

Sorry to be so quiet lately. The last week and a half or so I've felt really icky and haven't been online much (it tends to happen at the end/beginning of the month because I've run out of one of my medications). Alas, that has not meant a lack of spankings. A. arrived in an uber-toppy mood and I've been spanked no less than 5 times in not quite two weeks! And if I'd been feeling better, I suspect I'd probably have gotten it just about every day. Two of those spankings were politically motivated -- and literal, not the metaphorical kind the Republicans got last week -- and (fingers-crossed) I'll have a post about them in the next few days.

But enough about me. I want to know how you're doing. This is your day. Yep, you, dear lurker. It's the third annual Love our Lurkers day. The day we honor you, the silent majority. Who lurk hard every day. Or when a new post is up. Or maybe you just lurk occassionally. You read, but never comment. Yet your presence in our StatCounter numbers keeps us bloggers blogging. And for that we salute you.

So stand up. Hit the "leave a comment" button and tell me your story. Staying silent is hard work. Take a break and spill out everything you've ever wanted to say.

Or just "hello" is cool too.

Maybe you feel too intimidated to comment (please be assured that you're very welcome).

Maybe you don't have time (it happens to all of us).

Maybe you think you don't have anything to add (oh but you do!).

Maybe you think there's nothing worth commenting on here (fair enough).

Maybe you don't read/write English well (I'd love to learn the word for spanking in your language).

A. thinks commenting on a blog is like having to write something on a group birthday card: you're in a hurry and you want to write something witty or inspiring but in the end you just end up scribbling something like "Happy Birthday." Yet in the case of a blog, you're not pressured by the group to write something so people just don't bother.

This makes bloggers sad. We love comments. All sorts of comments. Even the brief "nice post" or "this post sucks" comments. Though we hate spam. And we banish those spam comments to very depths of blogger hell.

But the best comment of all is simply an introduction. A brief (or not so brief, as the case may be) note putting a name or remark to those numbers on my StatCounter graph (Blogger allows you to remain anonymous if you choose).

I've received exactly 17 comments both years on LOL day. This year, I'd love to see that double. And if it does (they have to be 34 unique visitors), I'll post a picture of my ass after my next spanking. Which will probably be sometime later today as I've got another one coming...

That's right. The sixth in less than two weeks. You'd think A. was some kind of sick, perverted sadist. :::grin:::

Politics stole my mojo!

Sorry to be so quiet the last week and a half. I was surprised to discover on Monday that I hadn't posted anything for a whole week. Time goes by so quickly when you're on morphine and sleeping most of the day...

I think politics has smothered my libido of late. Instead of drifting off to sleep with visions of stern nannies, a strict daddy, and the odd subbie boy, I've been muttering to myself what Obama or McCain should have said in the latest debate. Or what that damn bailout bill should have included or discarded. Instead of reading spanking blogs, I've been faithfully following the polling projections at FiveThirtyEight and CNN, watching as the country slowly turns blue. Checking the bookies at Oddschecker while the odds shorten and lengthen as the Dow falls. A. and I have been sharing our favorite political posts at YouTube during our daily call rather than our latest spanking fantasies. Especially now that Saturday Night Live is funny again.

But my mojo is slowling returning. The other night I fell asleep to the fantasy of an uncompromising nanny taking me to task for failing to take a medication I tend to avoid as I dislike its side effects. Politics has influenced A.'s latest pretext for spanking me, involving a spreader bar and the McLaughlin Group. I suspect there will more information about that one after he arrives on October 29th.

For now, however, I'm just popping in to say that I should return to normal posting in the next few days with a new VibeReview Fantasy. And hopefully when I fall asleep in the next hour or so, the only red and blue I'll be thinking about will be in regards to my ass...

"People we've always wanted to be": The Spanked virtual book tour continues

The Spanked virtual book tour has been winding its way through the sex blogosphere during August and now I get the pleasure of beginning the Bonus days of September (i.e. I didn't get my sick, lazy ass in gear to answer Ms. Bussel's email in a timely manner -- something experienced by many of you who have emailed me -- and all the proper days were taken by the time I did).

For those of you who haven't come across the book in question through a book review or interview on any of the thirty-one blogs before me, the tour has been promoting the recently published anthology Spanked: Red-Cheeked Erotica by Rachel Kramer Bussel, a long-time erotica writer, cupcake-lover extraordinaire, host of In the Flesh erotic reading series, former columnist for Village Voice, and occasional writer for publications such as Alternet and the Huffington Post ('cause sex is political whether you think it is or not). You can purchase the book at fine online bookstores like Amazon, or my local bookstore, Powells.


Yes, it's Labor Day. And many of you are at the Shadowlane Party (:::sigh::: someday...). But for those of you who are actually reading today, lemme tell ya a shocking little secret.

I've never bought any erotica before.

In fact, I haven't even really read all that much, at least not the sort that involves sex and not just spanking.

When Spanked arrived, I suddenly started thinking about practical things like, where do I put it on my book shelves? Most books I like to display with pride throughout my studio apartment, but this one, well, what if my nieces and nephew see it? Or my priest when he comes to visit and give me communion? However, eventually I put those questions on hold and actually started reading it.

What I've come to realize is that the reason I've never bought any erotica before is that I don't really like reading about other people having sex. In the words of the narrator of the first story in Spanked, "the curious paradox about spanking sex [is] that the vagina is almost an afterthought." Spanking is all about the ass for me. All about the pain. The submission. The endorphines. The negotiated infantilization. I do like sex. Its intimacy. The achy fullness and the electrical satisfaction of the orgasm. But it's just physical. It never has the power to touch so much of me like spanking does.

So the ubiquity of hard cocks and wet cunts left me rather bored at times. And as someone who lives considerably below the poverty level, I couldn't help but be conscious of class. That the characters in these stories were white, urban and mostly financially comfortable.

Yet there was a remarkable diversity among those for whom such a straightforward act -- spanking -- plays a prominent role in the expression of their sexuality. Submissive males hungry to please a mistress or just to get a spanking from a stranger -- especially if she happens to be a sexy bookstore owner. Bratty males who then turn the tables and take the formally self-righteous female over his knee. Lesbian women using a spanking to even the score or eat that forbidden fruit of hot but straight female roommate. Gay men watching a straight woman spanking a straight male. And, of course, stern boyfriends and co-workers giving spankings to naughty girls in the bedroom, or office, or kitchen.

And while I may not have connected with the explicit sexuality or socio-economic status of the characters, there was plenty I did connect with. Like body image issues, such as experienced by the spankee in Rick Roberts's story, which "just added to [her] vulnerable beauty." The sheer play of spanking in Allison Tyler's story in which a Betty Crocker-wannabe is tied up in plastic wrap and spanked with several kitchen implements (I can hardly cook or bake without A. getting handsy). What it's like to be a strong woman who is worth "waxing and washing for" such as those in Sage Vivant's story. The confusion of where the sex ends and real life begins and how dangerous that line can feel such as Andy Ohio's protagonist finds. The thrill of kink and vanilla life intersecting like we see in Elizabeth Coldwell's story. The fun of participating in Usenet spanking newsgroups, as "Pink Cheeks" knows in Fiona Locke's story and how that increases exponentially when we meet our virtual friends in the flesh. The naughtiness of sneaking a quick spank and fuck in Thomas S. Roche's story while guests wait downstairs. How disturbing our fantasies can be when they bleed into taboos like incest, as Kaitlyn realizes in Teresa Noelle Roberts's story, and the compartmentalization we engage in to cope with our discomfort. Desperately wanting to cry from a spanking, as Dee desires in Rachel Kramer Bussel's story, only to discover that you should be very careful indeed what you wish for.

"...I know what my body can do, but I want to see what we can do together, if we can take spanking somewhere it's never gone before, if we can make it propel us into a new place where we lose ourselves only to find people we've always wanted to be."

Bussel's heroine whispers this to her partner when she asks him to make her cry, but it's really what every couple who engages in spanking seeks. We spank and get spanked to go somewhere we've never gone before and find the people we've always wanted to be -- naughty school girls and cunt whores, or just raw, sex-hungry beings looking to spice things up during a hearty fuck. In Spanked we get a glimpse of those various people and places we can be and go. It may take us to places that are profoundly uncomfortable or make us people we don't even recognize. But in the end we just may arrive at a place more pleasurable than we ever imagined.

Follow the Virtual Tour tomorrow as it heads over to Kristina Wright for another Bonus day.

NSB's fourth birthday

As I stated in the last post, for this, my fourth blog birthday, I wanted to do a makeover. And so I have. It's not completely what I was anticipating it to look like, but Blogger has proved to be trickier than I thought, and my scanner just won't cooperate at all. A. drew the picture fairly plain as he thought it was going to turn out rather small once I uploaded it. But, alas, it's giant. So I'm afraid there will be further tinkering.

But let me just take this opportunity to say thank you for a wonderful four years. It's been yet another great year of spanking, with me exploring my toppy side a little more. Still lots of ups and downs health-wise (at the moment it's a little on the down side). Plenty of kinky musings and yes, even a bit of angsting here and there. I think this has been the year I've come to terms with the fact that I'm a sex blogger. I write about "fucking" and "my cunt" now in addition to spanking. And I've joined the wider sex blogosphere through Jane's Guide, as well as various top lists like Cunning Linguists.

In this next year, should you chose to continue stopping by, you'll still read about my spankings -- given and received -- as well as my thoughts on kink and life. I will be doing a bit of whoring myself out commercially (see Tuesday's post), though I promise it will be hot. And there will be more pictures, something A., having the testosterone content that he does, has long said he thought was lacking on this blog. Though neither of us were counting on the current picture on top being quite as giant as it is...

At any rate, here's to another year. Thanks so much for reading.

Update 8/11: I've removed the header picture until I can get it a bit more manageable.

One million and counting

Only five days before my four year blog anniversary, I've reached another benchmark. At 4:19 this afternoon -- Pacific Daylight Time -- someone in Copenhagen, Denmark was my one millionth visitor. He or she didn't hang around for long, at least not according to StatCounter. But a lot of you have and then came back for more. Thanks. I'm truly in awe.

And for my blog's fourth birthday, I'm going to be giving it a bit of a makeover. So be on the look out for a big change this Sunday.

New updates on the blog and me

I've been doing a lot of fiddling with my blog the last couple of days. If you tried to access this blog yesterday with Internet Explorer, you may well have encountered a page that was mostly unreadable.

However, I've finally switched over to Blogger's new (or new to me) easy-to-use layout function when I became completely exasperated this afternoon pretending I actually know how to use HTML and fucked up the entire blog when I accidentally hit "tab" and "space." After spending a few hours recreating what I had with the layout function, as well as adding the bits I was trying to add earlier, I'm content for the time being. Even if the new layout function has some annoying quirks in it that limit my creativity. Well, hell, let's be honest. It's not my creativity but my anal-retentiveness it's impinging upon. But it will have to do for now. And it will make reading this blog easier on IE.

The added bits include the very first advertisement ever on NSB. Yes, I know. I'm a total whore. Vibe Review, a sex toy store that includes educational articles and toy reviews, approached me about becoming an editorial reviewer for their site. The deal means I get to play with sex toys for free, not to mention get a relatively generous commission on toys purchased by readers of this blog who follow the link from this blog to their site. What can I say? I've sold my blogging soul for free toys. But the ad was tasteful with nothing flashing (which I can't say for a few other spanking-related places I'd like to be an affiliate for), a lot of the toys are phthalate-free, and they have a very woman-friendly feel. Now I have told them quite frankly that their BDSM section sucks, and they are apparently working on that. But a good vibrator still comes in handy when you've spent a long night reading all those spanking blogs out there, right?

There will be another addition to the blog coming in the next week or so (hopefully by the time A. leaves). My dearest (who is quite the artist) has drawn a kick-ass picture that will serve as a logo for me and the blog. It's only in the doodle phase at the moment but I'm really looking forward to sharing it with you all.

And there should be a return to more frequent blogging (if I'm not jinxing it by saying so -- I do have a colonoscopy scheduled for Tuesday, eep!). The last few weeks I've been feeling better than I have in well over a year, so much so that I've been out of the apartment enjoying the summer in my limited way. But I'm slowly developing a routine with my new found energy, and hopefully that should mean more posts, including one tomorrow or Monday about spanking and my spiritual life that I've been working on for the last week or so, as well as some forthcoming posts for the Punishment Book.

So that's it folks. Welcome to the newly updated Natty's Spanking Blog.

The very first Feminist Carnival of Sexual Freedom and Autonomy

Just a quick post (a few days late, as usual) to let you all know about the first Feminist Carnival of Sexual Freedom and Autonomy that includes a staggering number of fascinating posts discussing sex-positive feminism, pornography, BDSM (including a recent post of mine), and sex work.

There's lots of good stuff amidst all the links, and I encourage you to check it out.