Teleportation - Oh, How I Long for Thee

Yay!  We are getting visitors!  My cousin and his wife are coming out near Suburbia for a concert and he contacted me to ask if we wanted to have breakfast on Monday.  Of course we want to have breakfast on Monday.  We love having people come out here to visit us especially from Hometown.  See, in case you haven't been along for the whole big blog ride, Suburbia and Hometown are about five to five and a half hours apart.  Apparently this is a vast travel nightmare to most people.  My parents come out about once a year and Hubby's parents come out a few times a year but that's about it (with the exception on major life events like a graduation or something).  Meanwhile we are expected to visit Hometown four or five times a year.  I understand that we do not have a spare room for people to stay in if they come but when we come to Hometown we don't have anywhere to stay either.  Due to allergies, we have to stay in a hotel which adds up quickly.  All I know is that the road isn't any shorter coming from Suburbia to Hometown than it is from Hometown to Suburbia.  But Monday morning we will visit with family on our own turf and it feels awesome!  I'm proud of where I live.  I want my family and friends to see it.  The area has a lot to offer with museums, amusement parks, concerts and other performances, etc.  It'll be interesting to see what will happen this Thanksgiving.  See my daughter will be two to three hours away at University and we will have to drive out there and back Tuesday or Wednesday before Thanksgiving on Thursday.  She has to be back the following Monday.  The dilemma lies in that University and Hometown are in opposite directions from Suburbia.  The Kid has a late class on Tuesday evening so we most likely won't be able to pick her up until Wednesday which would leave us driving somewhere around ten hours on Wednesday to get to University and then Hometown.  There also would be no time for The Kid to spend even a moment at home in Suburbia.  Call me selfish but that is just too much to ask of me.  We are going to have to stay home this Thanksgiving which is not going to go over well with anyone back in Hometown.  Maybe I should have Thanksgiving out here in Suburbia.  I could invite my parents and my brother and his family but I doubt they would come.  Where would I put everyone anyway.  So it looks like it will be a Thanksgiving for three here at Casa de Us.  We have done it before.  Once when I had my gallbladder removed and once when we had the copper pipes stolen from the house we own/rent out.  We'll live.  I just need some ideas of new traditions we can start to do with just us.  I'll make it work.  I always do.  If not, I wouldn't be a mom.

What a Weekend!

Things I have learned this weekend:

10) My daughter is addicted to reruns of Grey's Anatomy.

9)  I don't wish that I was young again.  I just wish I posessed the same potential I did when I was younger.

8)  Getting healthy isn't a punishment - its a wonderful, hopefully achievable, goal.

7) I like walking downtown in major cities - even though they can sometimes smell like poo.

6) I am severely addicted to Powerade Zero. 

5) It is possible to sleep without the air cleaner, fan, air conditioner, night light and television on. Not well, but possible.

4) Don't read Dean Koontz when the power goes out.

3) Cirque du Soliel is even more amazing in person. Everyone should see it at some point in their lives and now I can cross it off my bucket list.

2) Skateboarding dogs are even funnier in person. I can also cross this off my bucket list.

1) I am obsessed with death.  Big time!

Maternal Contentment and the Art of Philanthropy

I just spent an hour in the basement clearing out old crap.  Hubby was with me so it wasn't too bad.  It basically consisted of me going through boxes and handing crap to Hubby saying "Trash" or "Donate".  We got rid of a lot of stuff - three bags of trash and a bunch of boxes to donate.  It feels good to get stuff cleaned out.  Some of the stuff was trash, some of it was things to be donated without pause and some of it was sentimental in value.  I thought the sentimental stuff would be harder to get rid of but it wasn't.  I stopped at one point on a shirt and thought "This would be cute in a t-shirt quilt".  Then I remembered the pile of t-shirts I already have upstairs that are not yet in quilt form and thought "This would be more beneficial to someone as a t-shirt."  What a beautiful thought.  What a beautiful freeing thought.  I don't know if I've been taken over by the spirit of someone who can actually accomplish this stuff but I was definately on a roll.  I was getting rid of stuff right and left.  I've never felt so free.  It was liberating.  The thing is that I have to be in the mood to get rid of stuff.  It's strange how that happens.  One day I can be holding onto things and remembering old times.  The next day I can be throwing out the thing I was fixated on the day before.  Its strange.  I'm strange.  Now I have a few boxes of papers that I have to go through before they can just be thrown out.  Its sad that we live in a world where you can't just throw things away because someone somewhere might go through your trash.  Sigh.  What a wonderful world we live in huh?  Well, at least nothing happened at the school on Friday although I think if someone were going to do something, they would wait until a day where there were actually people there.  Great.  Now I'm afraid to send my daughter to school tomorrow.  I tell you where I am not sending her at the moment - Walt Disney World.  Yes, I decided that my daughter's education is more important than a trip to Orlando.  It was all just too much.  The dates were wrong.  The flights cost a lot.  Most of the hotels were booked up.  It was like trying to fit a square peg in a round hole.  Just wasn't going to happen.  So I sit here - mouseless and wonder what tomorrow will bring.  Guess I'll go work on my "Good Things About Me" list.  I guess considering the concession I made about the Florida trip, I could start off with "a good mom".

Mouse Versus Master's

I got my hair cut last night and now you can really see the blue . . . I mean green, I guess.  Apparently when you put aqua blue over blond you get green.  Go figure.  I guess I learned that in elementary school.  Yellow and blue make green.  Just never thought of it in relation to hair before.  Anyway, I'm sitting on my couch typing this blog post watching a reality tattoo show.  I'm on my new laptop.  I am excited but I'm also thinking this may not be the best thing for me.  I may never leave my couch now.  I'm also having a love/hate relationship with the program that is on.  I love tattoos.  I want more tattoos.  But a couple years ago I had a doc tell me that I should never, ever get another one. He said with all of my allergies it wouldn't be a good idea and could very well make my immune system go crazy.  I had to ask one more time, so I checked with my current doc and he said the same thing.  Boooooo!  No more tatts for me :(  So I will relish my one and covet the sleeves and body artwork of others.  I am also at the moment trying to figure out a way to get to Orlando for cheap.  Since Hubby is headed that way for work, I figured if we just tack a vacation onto the beginning of it (its our daughter's spring break), it saves us the airfare for one person since his company will pick up his tab.  We have the money.  That's not really the problem.  The problem lies in that money should really go toward our daughter's education.  Especially considering that at one of the universities she was considering, our bill would be $17000 after any and all aid including her loans!  Yikes!  Sucks to be working middle class.  You get squat when it comes to higher education. It has kind of put me in the mindset of "we'll never get that much so why try?"  I have one more idea as to how to get her education funded but I'm not letting that feline out of the sack until it is over and done with and either successful or not.  So I will crunch numbers and search Kayak.com and weigh out the benefits of Mickey Mouse versus her Master's.  There really isn't much more to report from my couch.  Hey, now that I can compute from my favorite rear rest, I think maybe I'll write that novel that's in my head.  Once upon a time . . . there was this girl who never left her couch . . . except to go to Orlando :)

Pssst . . . Santa . . . It's Room 104

The saying goes "you can't go home again" and I've decided that is true for me and my family.  We will be going to Hometown for Thanksgiving and between Christmas and New Year if weather permits but we will not be going for Christmas proper.  We will be spending Christmas Eve and Day here in our own humble abode.  After chatting at length with Uncle Fantastic, I came to realize that the experience I wanted my daughter to have didn't really exist anymore.  There was no sitting around the table on Christmas Eve.  It is now done buffet style.  Not that that's a huge change but it made me realize that what I experienced as a child was my childhood, not my daughter's.  Her childhood and holiday traditions involved myself and her dad.  Just our little family of three.  We have our own Christmas Eve party where we gorge ourselves on junk food and play games and/or do activities.  (Last year it was a Wii tournament.  This year's activities are craft-centered.  Just what Hubby was hoping for!  Yeah, right!)  We have done this for years.  Why should I deny her the Christmas traditions she knows just to try to relive my past.  I don't know if they even break the small sheets of blessed wafers at my grandparents house anymore and well, she's too old to crawl under the table when she's finished and tickle everybody's feet.  Besides, the dog does that now anyway.  She needs to stay rooted in her norm - our traditions.  Next year, she may be off to college and coming home for Christmas and that home will be here in Suburbia, not back in Hometown.  This IS her Hometown whether I want to accept that or not.  She grew up here.  This is what she knows.  So while I will be sad for a moment missing another Christmas Eve with my family, I will embrace the fact that I will be having Christmas Eve with My Family.  Besides, how does Santa know what hotel room number you're in anyway?  Not a risk I want to take.   :)

Oh, There's No Place Like Home for the Holidays

I am in a bit of a spot here.  It involves me, hometown, family and Christmas.  See my family has some big traditions when it comes to Christmas.  From what they eat on which days to who sits where to pass out presents.  My dilemma is I would really like my daughter to get to experience these traditions.  We have never gone to hometown for actual Christmas Day proper.  We always go sometime between Christmas and New Year.  We have always used the "Santa excuse" for not coming on said day.  But I want my daughter who is now 17 to have the opportunity to experience, just once, the kind of Christmas I grew up with.  I know I can't duplicate my childhood for her but giving her a taste of what I endured . . . I mean participated in would mean a lot to me.  Not to mention my mother.  It would totally make her dreams come true to see us on December 24th and 25th.  She may get so excited she may just explode.  I don't want my mother to explode.  What kind of daughter would I be if I wanted that?  Anyway, I also have another concern.  See, my family doesn't like change.  Any kind of change at all.  If we go back for Christmas Eve/Day, this is going to throw them for a loop.  We don't have assigned seats at the table.  We don't have assigned seats in the basement for present distribution.  We just don't belong there.  I can't help feeling this way but it has been held without us for the past 16 years.  Throwing us into the mix is just asking for trouble.  A huge monkey wrench in the holiday plans.  I'm positive if I asked my Grandma she'd be thrilled to have us.  Do doubt in my mind.  My trouble is do I want to do this or not.  I don't want the drama that comes along with a large family gathering even if it is Christmas.  I think maybe I've been away too long.  Maybe I'm just remembering all the good things about Christmas and blocking out all the bad stuff and THAT is what I want my daughter to experience.  A Christmas where nobody is bitter or upset or downright angry.  Just a nice fairytale Christmas where we all sit around singing carols and drinking cocoa.  Yeah, that's not what I'm gonna get.  I guess I just have to make a decision and go with it.  The song says "there's no place like home for the holidays" but I don't know.  I am open to any advice anyone would like to share.  Let the friendly guidance commence . . . now.

Crouching Tiger, Smiling Fish

Well, I survived another business trip.  Yes, Hubby went away again last week and left me alone with the virally infectious one known as our kid.  I thought between school and color guard rehearsal, I would be facing three days of solitary confinement.  Instead, I had a buddy all the whole time.  She planted herself on the couch and I planted myself in the chair next to it and we sat.  I only went out to get take away food.  It was kind of nice but by the time that Hubby got back I was itching to go somewhere and dying to shop.  So today we went to the Pandora store so I could get my latest addition to my my-husband-goes-away-on-business-and-I-have-to-run-the-show-alone bracelet.  I went with a list of ten possibilities and walked away with number ten on my list.  I always do that.  I think I'm going to get a certain bead and then when I get there those notions go completely out the window and I choose something off the wall that I wasn't really even considering.  Today I walked away happy with "The Happy Fish".  In an effort to get The Kid out of the house for more than ten minutes, we also went to the store to find a top to go with a skirt that I was saving to wear to a friend's wedding next month.  After searching the entire store, I was taking something over to the window to look at it against the skirt in the natural light when I noticed - the skirt had snags on it!  Just my luck!  So I had to scrap that idea and just buy a whole new outfit instead.  Poor me.  I love the outfit I got.  I wish I could wear it tomorrow but they might think I'm a little overdressed for a college admissions visit.  Yes, another Monday, another college.  That's the way we roll in this house these days.  Got to get them all in before Hubby takes his next business trip.  You know.  The trip of which we do not speak.  The trip to Hawaii.  Maybe The Kid can stay healthy for the next trip.  My luck I'll be the one to get sick.  Or maybe it'll be Hubby and he won't be able to go to Hawaii.  Wouldn't that be a shame.  <evil grin>  I guess I shouldn't complain or wish bad things on anyone.  I should just smile and be a Happy Fish.

Aloha Envy

Well, it was a great weekend with my parents.  Watching them play on the Wii was priceless.  Now its back to life.  Back to reality.  The kid is sick today.  School starts tomorrow.  Don't exactly know how that's going to work out.  That would stink if she had to miss the first few days of her senior year.  But lets focus on what's really  important here - Hubby going to Hawaii without me.  He's gone on trips before and yes I have been jealous but this time the green-eyed monster lurks deep in my soul and is often making appearances at the surface.  He says "Its for work" and "I don't even like the people I'm going with".  Hello!  Its still Hawaii!  There's really nothing that can dampen a trip to Hawaii other than a major hurricane (or is it called a typhoon in the Pacific?).  He says "Its no fun going all of these places without you".  But somehow, I think its got to be more fun to be the person who goes to all of those places than it is to be the person sitting at home dealing with normal, everyday life waiting for the other person to get back.  I want to walk on the white, sandy beaches.  I want to sneeze when they put a lei around my neck when I arrive.  I want to meet Dog the Bounty Hunter.  The one time that I REALLY want to go with him, I can't.  It wouldn't be worth it.  Our daughter has a major color guard competition that she can't miss (but my husband will) on that Sunday.  So we'd have to travel Monday.  We have a wedding that Friday (that he swears he will be back for) so we'd have to come back Thursday.  Which would leave us two days.  Two days in paradise and that's all.  Not worth the price of airfare.  Especially when everything at the house we are renting out keeps breaking so we probably won't see an actual rent check until 2013.  Oh well, at least I'll get a pretty postcard.  They say "hell hath no fury like a woman scorned".  I think they meant to say "hell hath no fury like a woman whose husband goes to Hawaii without her".  Boy guy, he"ll have to deal with Hurricane Me!

The Guessing Game

Today I am waiting for my parents to get here.  Yes, I know!  They are actually coming out here to Suburbia!  They usually make their annual trip around this time of year - for my daughter's birthday.  I shouldn't whine or complain but it is hard that they only come out here once a year - twice if we're really lucky.  I know its a tough trip for them but it still makes me sad.  Its difficult when my mom wanders around my house saying "Oh, look at that" and "I don't remember you having this".  I just want to say you don't remember it because you haven't been here in a year.  But I bite my tongue and smile.  It takes them about six hours or so to get here from Hometown.  I asked my mom to call me when they got into our state thinking she'd call when they crossed over the border.  She did call.  She said they were in our state but she didn't seem to know where or how long ago they entered the state.  There are approximately five hours of their trip within our state.  So I have no idea what time they will get here.  She said they would call again when they got closer.  Problem there is I don't know if closer to her means the state capitol which is an hour away or the mall up the street which is five minutes away.  My daughter wants to go to dinner and then play Wii with them.  She has a cold.  They really seem to want to take her somewhere to do something but they want her to choose and she just wants to stay home.  So it should be an interesting weekend.  Meanwhile, we sit and wait.  Till when, who knows?  Is my house clean enough?  Who knows?  What will we end up doing?  Who knows?  How long are they staying tomorrow?  Who knows?  I am a planner.  I like to have somewhat of a plan.  But that's how I plan when they are coming.  I just plan not to know anything.

Bibbidee-bobbidee-boo!

Well, after a very tiring weekend, we are finally home safe and sound.  This weekend included two emergency shopping trips, an emergency hair consultation, a meeting with the guardian ad lidem for Frontrunner, a college graduation party that made us feel really old, preparations for prom including nails, hair and make-up, prom pictures, dinner, prom, after prom, a trip to Pennsylvania, a baby baptism and reception, two . . . wait no . . . three runs through a deluge of rain, a campus tour, a hotel stay, and dinner with the parents.  When you spell it all out like that its no wonder I'm so tired.  I have never been so busy, tired, and wet in my life.  But I am happy.  I am an official, unofficial Fairy Godmummy.  My brother Uncle Fabulous (formerly Uncle Crazy) and his wife Aunt Fabulous asked me to be a Godmother to Baby Fabulous.  After much strife involving the Catholic church and their disappointment that neither I nor Aunt Fab's sister had a penis, it was decided that I would be a Godmummy - just not on the official Catholic books.  Which is fine by me.  I'm not exactly a facebook friend of the Catholic church or anything although technically I am still a registered parishoner at St. Up-the-street's.  I was included in the ceremony just like the Godparents who are on the up and up.  But the important thing is that Baby Fab will know me as Fairy Godmummy.  And after all, isn't the child the important thing here.  Isn't it her soul that is the focus and not what we had to do to humor the Catholic church.  And what more could I want.  I held her, kissed her, fed her, burped her and when she poohed, I gave her back.  Ah, there is nothing sweeter than getting all the perks without the work.  God bless you Baby Fab!  I'll make sure you know to get home before midnight!

My Family Went on Vacation and All I Got Was This Lousy Blog

I've decided to sum up our recent trip to Faraway with a helpful Top Ten Traveling Tips
10.  A foot of snow can stop a 7 day a week Chinese buffet from opening, but it won't stop Chinese delivery.
9.  When in doubt, bribe your child with the promise of a trip to Canada.
8.  Child services agencies in the US are even more screwed up than I thought they were.
7.  It is not possible to have everyone be comfortable in a rental car.
6.  Indian reservations look just like everywhere else, except for the giant fiberglass 50 foot tall Native American statues
5.  Connecticut = $$$Cha-Ching$$$
4.  It is impossible to have a nice, calm, relaxing meal at a Denny's.
3.  Forget about deer.  Try not hitting a moose.
2.  Just because its called the China Dine-ah doesn't mean it has Chinese food.
1.  The magnet is right.  What happens in Maine stays in Maine but really nothing ever happens in Maine.

2 Legs + 30,000 Feet = Discrimination

Today, I spent the day going back and forth on whether to fly or drive for our trip to Faraway.  I listed the pros and cons.  Researched travel routes.  Priced flights.  But the one thing that kept sticking in my head was "What if I fly and someone carries on a cat or dog?"  My allergies and asthma would go haywire!  It could be deadly for me.  So I hit the internet trying to find my answer.  There was a lot of information about what to do if I wanted to take my pet on a flight but nothing about pet free flights.  I knew it was a long shot but they have peanut free flights now where they don't serve peanuts.  Of course that doesn't mean Joe Ignorant can't open a pack of peanut M&Ms he carried on but at least they are making the effort.  So with renewed inspiration, I dialed the airline 1-800 number.  After pushing a million buttons, which if you remember is one of my favorite things, I got a representative and told her my dilemma.  She said that I had a very good question and that if I would hold for a minute she would find out the answer for me.  Great!  She sounded kind of optimistic.  Maybe they had pet-free flights.  She returned to tell me that they do not have flights that are guaranteed to be pet-free.  The process I would have to follow is to book my flight and then call back periodically to check and see if a pet was registered on the flight and if they were, the airline would make the best effort to help me reschedule.  Um, ok.  So I can fly on your airline but not if Fido chooses the same flight.  I mean, its not even first serve.  Dogs and cats take priority over guests with a disability.  They do limit the number of pets on a flight so maybe if I reserve a pet spot and pay the extra fee then NOT take on a pet I could manipulate the system.  The airline we flew on for our transatlanic flights years ago could guarantee there would be no pets.  And that was years ago.  You'd think on a shorter, within the country flight in a more modern time that things would have developed a little.  Apparently only if you have four legs.  Nice.  I guess we will be driving the two full days in one direction to get to Faraway.  I just wish I had the same options as Fluffy and Spot.  Look out, I feel an angry letter coming on . . .