Not your average Hollywood

When I moved to California, I knew God was calling me to a different kind of mission field. One that many people back east don't understand to be a mission field. I mean, California is still part of the US. It's not like moving to a foreign country. And yet Los Angeles often feels very much like a foreign country to me. I'm a small town girl. I grew up in the middle of the woods in upstate New York.  I graduated high school in a class of 96 students. Never having a desire to move west of the Mississippi, my life goal was to marry and settle down in Michigan. California was NEVER on my radar. But when I moved home from Costa Rica, I prayed the seemingly innocent prayer of, "Here I am, send me," thinking God would send me to some normal mission field, like El Salvador or Croatia or Uganda. The Lord heard my prayer and does what He does best: surprise me with the answer. He called me to trust him and move to Los Angeles as a missionary to the nations. Because every nation under the sun lives in LA.

The past three years have been a journey for sure. I thought living in Los Angeles was God's goal. Being a small town girl, the first year I lived outside of LA in the sleepy city of Simi Valley where the motto of the city is "Relax and slow down". It was like God was easing me into the waters. The next year I moved into Studio City, which is a burb in "The Valley", yes where Valley girls come from. When Dave and I got married, we legit lived in Bel Air. We had a tiny little apartment in the old section of the canyon that drops down from the valley into Los Angeles. When we had Violet, we undoubtedly needed more space with cheaper rent. We prayed and told the Lord we were willing to move any where in the city that He wanted us to be in. We were open to any place as long as it was the place He wanted us to be. Open the door to the right place and shut all others. And of course I wrote out a list of everything we needed. He obviously heard our prayers We tried for three months to move to the beach where the life style is slowed down and relaxed. We went to open house after open house and applied for half a dozen apartments, literally never hearing back from any of them. We would have been closer to Dave's work and let's all admit it, its so much fun to live at the beach. But then we found out there were going to be some changes at Dave's job and we decided for the best of our family that I would go back to work full time and Dave would stay at home with the baby. As soon as that happened, we decided to look in a totally different area of the city. We looked at one apartment and BAM! here we are in the heart of Hollywood.

In the few weeks we've lived here, Dave and I have had new revelation for why we are here. We were not only called to Los Angeles, but specifically to Hollywood. And what better way to do missions in an area than to go in and live there. Every day we strap Violet in the stroller and walk the Hollywood Hills. We have worship music blasting in the stroller as we prayer walk through our new community. We've been able to explore some really cool areas of the city. Now I don't know about you, but if you're not from Los Angeles it's easy to have a stigma and preconceived notion about what LA is really like. From either Straight Out of Compton street sketch to hoity-toity Beverly Hills entitlement Kardashianism, the perception of LA is either that it's full of flaky, rich, Hollywood stars; Hollywood star wannabes; or criminal street gangsters and bums. While LA has it's fair share of the later, there are also just good, old-fashioned, hard working Americans that just want to have a quiet life that just so happen to live in one of the biggest cities in the nation. What I've come to love about Hollywood is that it's nothing like what I thought it was like. Sure there's Hollywood Blvd with it's fancy star walk and tourist trap bars restaurants, and museums. But Hollywood is so much more than that. It's classy and quaint and charming. Hopefully these pictures I've taken on our walks will change your opinion about what Hollywood is all about.

Is this earthquake tested? Reminds me of some of the houses in Anonos

Life is better under a palm tree

Baby in the front, coffee in the back

Adele super fan

Neighborhood lending library. Take a book, leave a book.

Building is a challenge

I want to live in a castle

The lamp post that leads to a wardrobe

My supernatural, (almost) pain free birth

I realize it's been forever since I've written. I've gone through every major life transition possible in the last time year: got married, moved twice, gave birth, had two grandmothers pass away. But it's about time to share my birth experience. I hope it is encouraging to any pregnant mothers out there who wish to have a natural child birth without any pain medication.

My birth room

First of all, I found the most amazing midwife in all of LA. She has a private birth center with only two birth rooms that look like the Beverly Hills Hilton mixed with a day spa. She pretty much guarantees you'll be the only one delivering there because she keeps her mama list small. Her goals for child birth matched mine and she has personally delivered thousands of babies. It was important to me to find a place I felt comfortable in. I work in a NICU next to the labor  delivery  you didn't work so I knew I wanted  something that was completely different from that environment. I also needed to completely trust my midwife.

My husband and I ended up not going to a birthing class. Dave was working second shift and we could never find the right time to go. With my background in neonatal development I really didn't feel I needed to pay for a class and we just got Dave several books that he read. We loved the Bradley Method and really followed that closely. It's all about the emotional sign post of labor and how to handle each phase.. I really worked hard in the months before labor to work on the breathing and visualization techniques. The type of pain experienced in labor and delivery, while extremely physical, is really emotionally and mentally controlled. I also watched several births on YouTube that were marked "pain free, natural labor and delivery".

In April, my church hosted a small conference for expectant mothers run by a woman who write a book on supernatural child birth. She's from England and has four kids of her own. She said to write out a prayer list to pray about before and during the birth, have a verse of meditation, and write out positive affirmation statements. Anyone who knows me knows I love writing lists for prayer.  Every apartment I've ever had came with a long, detailed list of all my wants. Heck, even my husband came from a very specific prayer list. Why should my birth experience be any different? My statements were as follows:
I believe for a supernatural, pain free labor and delivery.
I believe I will not tear.
I believe for a 7-8 pound, healthy baby.
I believe in a peaceful birth without fear.
I believe for a quick labor.
I will not embrace fear or pain, but I choose to embrace peace and joy.

The verse I meditated on was Hebrews 4:9-11
9 So there remains a [full and complete] Sabbath rest for the people of God. 10 For the one who has once entered His rest has also rested from [the weariness and pain of] his [human] labors, just as God rested from [those labors uniquely] His own. 11 Let us therefore make every effort to enter that rest [of God, to know and experience it for ourselves], so that no one will fall by following the same example of disobedience [as those who died in the wilderness].

I also fully believe that child birth was never meant to be painful. Pain in labor came with the curse at the fall of man. Jesus came to restore our original design, and with that how we were designed to be, including painless childbirths.

The week before I delivered

I can honestly say nothing can fully prepare you for childbirth, but practicing definitely helped. I was hoping she would be born on 7/7 because it's such a cool date, but alas, even after bouncing on a yoga ball, taking multiple miles-long hikes, eating spicy food and even the El Caoti "The Salad" known to induce labor, three days after my due date I was still preggers. I had an appointment with my midwife on Monday, July 18. She asked me if I was ready to have this baby. Of course!!! She stripped my membranes and I went into labor that night at 10pm. 

Labor was not exactly what I expected. How could it? It's like no other sensation known to man. Though there was no sharp or throbbing pain. Just waves of increasingly intensifying contractions. Like the worst Charlie horse centered in your entire lower abdomen. I used a contraction tracking app. My contractions started at 30 seconds long, five minutes apart. There was no gradual build up. The first three or four hours Dave and I spent watching comedy on TV. Each time a contraction would come I'd bounce on my yoga ball and focus on my breathing.  By 3am I was at 1 minute long and four minutes apart. Dave fell asleep on the couch while I got in our jacuzzi tub. I took micro naps between contractions. My favorite moment was texting Dave from the tub to bring me some water. By 6am I was in transition and crawled into my bed to meditate through each contraction. Bethel worship playing constantly. I kept focusing on pressing the app button at the start and stop of each contraction and taking long, deep breaths while watching the seconds tick by. Like when I used to time how long I could plank at the gym before collapsing. I was very internal, not saying anything. Not crying or yelling. Just internally focused. Dave just let me be, letting me focus on my body.   We called the midwife and she said to come in around 9am. Jennie, our birth coach, came around 7am. She rubbed my back and legs and helped apply counter pressure during intense contractions. I stopped counting contractions on my app at this point. 109 contractions accounted for with probably another hundred not tracked. Rocking my whole body back and forth during contractions helped alleviate some of the tension. Dave crawled in bed next to me and just held my hand, encouraging me with soft words.  Breathing and breathing. At 8am the midwife called and said to come in, they were opening up the clinic.

The worst part of my labor was the drive to the clinic. Strapped in the front seat in a seated position I couldn't rock my body, just tap my foot through the twenty minutes worth of contractions on our way in. Bethel music still playing. Still focused in my breathing. When we got there, the student midwife greeted us at the door. I got right in the birth tub. It was 9am when my midwife greeted us, chipper for having actually slept the whole night, unlike us. She checked me and declared we would have a baby by 10am! I was fully dilated and ready to push. The interesting part was my water never broke. My midwife broke it for me some time between 9:15-9:45. I have no real concept of time during the pushing phase. I let everyone move around me. I was concentrating on the intense inner workings of my belly, focusing on what was like a mixture of pain, pressure, and ache. 

Violet the moment she was born

There was never any fear during my labor. But some time during the pushing stage I had to make a conscious choice: prolong the birth of my baby because of doubting my ability to be able to push her out on my own since I've never done this before and I have no idea what it's going to be like or agree with my body that I was designed to give birth just like billions of women before me. I mustered all of my strength and with the help of my amazing team, brought my baby into the world to the song "Child of God" which some where in the back of my brain I noticed had appropriately come up on my playlist. 

Jennie, my long-time friend and birth coach; Simona, my midwife  

Before she was born, as soon as we knew it was a girl, Dave and I started looking at names. We had narrowed it down to Violet or Aubrey but wanted to wait to see her face before officially naming her. As soon as her little face came up out of the water at 10:21am I declared, "Her name is Violet!" I'll never forget the moment she was placed on my chest for as long as I live. We wanted a name that was not too popular while not being hipster or strange. I've only known one Violet and she's one of the coolest missionaries I know. A few days after she was born, we went back to the clinic to have a check up and I suggested to Dave that we buy African violet plants for all of the staff that attended our birth. Dave's face went pale. He told me he had forgotten that his mother, who had passed away three years earlier of cancer, always had African violet plants in her kitchen window because they were her favorite flower. It was like a little hug from heaven.

If I could give women any advice for preparing for a natural childbirth, it would be this: labor is not just physical, it's mental. If you go into labor believing it will be painful and awful, it will be. If you believe it can be a positive, empowering experience, it can be. Surround yourself with positive thoughts related to birth. Focus on how you want your experience to be. Meditate. Practice breathing and focusing for labor well in advance. Read books. Educate yourself on how the body works. Birth does not have to be a scary, traumatic event. Yes, things can go wrong, but pregnancy, labor, and delivery are natural events.

In summary, I had a 12 and a half hour labor and delivery with a little over an hour of pushing. I labored 10 hours at home because it is so much more comfortable at home. We had Violet at 10:21am and were home resting in our own home by 3pm. I had supportive people around me who encouraged me in how I wanted to birth my baby. It is possible to have an incredible, natural birth. I can't wait to have another one (well, maybe I can wait a few years!!!!)

The Verse of the Day: Matthew 6:22

The man that found my Cinderella Shoe

"Wow, your settings are really narrow and you only have 8 matches with your search criteria. You could totally triple your matches if you expand your search." "But I don't want more matches that aren't what I'm looking for, I'm only looking for one man." The woman across the table from me stared at me incredulous from behind a camera.  I was sitting in the headquarters for Christian Mingle, one of the more serious online dating websites.

Two years ago when I moved to LA, I had such hope for finding the love of my life. I figured I was moving from small town USA to a sea of at least 5 million men. I mean, even if you're a one-in-a-million kinda guy, there are five others out there just like you. I did what most single girls do: hit the dating scene. I tried online dating, speed dating, and blind dating. You name it, I tried it. And it was exhausting. Finding guys for first dates was not a problem, but finding a quality guy for a second date was definitely a challenge. The stories I have will either make you laugh our guts out or cry from pity....or both. After a year and a half of disappointing online dating experiences, (ask me some time about the guy that didn't bring his wallet on our date or the one that literally followed me to another country) I swore off dating. I had just about lost hope that the man of my dreams could be a reality.

2015 seemed like a year of possibilities and dreams. On Valentine's Day of this year, I went with a group of my closest single girlfriends to a beach in Malibu at sunrise to pray for our future husbands. We are all successful, beautiful, intelligent women with a strong desire to be married but no men in sight. We declared as a group that God did have men for us and we committed to praying for them. After reading the book of Ruth, we each took a shoe as a prophetic declaration that we wanted to have dedicated, godly marriages in Los Angeles and we wouldn't settle for mediocre lives or dating relationships.  My hope was starting to be restored. I started dreaming again of the possibility of that my prince charming was out there.

In March, after almost a year of being off online dating, I decided to give it one more shot. I subscribed to Christian Mingle, because apparently that's the site that God uses to make heavenly matches. I told God I would get on for one month and if I didn't meet anyone spectacular, I would give up online dating and wait patiently for the right man to come to church, or step into the line behind me at the grocery store, or approach me at the gym or something old fashioned like that. I told Jesus that if he wanted me to stay online, though, He would have to pay for my subscription.

About a week into my new subscription, a pop up survey came onto my screen while surfing profiles. Basically it said if I filled out the survey and they interviewed me, Christian Mingle would give me a six month free subscription. Cool. I filled it out and wouldn't you know two days later they called me. They asked if I would come into their corporate headquarters on the westside of Los Angeles and go through a 90 minute interview and after the interview they would give me 6 more months on the website for free. Sure! I'm always up for a good story. Hence the beginning of this blog. When I was interviewed, the woman was shocked at how specific I was in my search. But I knew what I was looking for. I had decided to be very intentional with what was in my heart. For too long I had been willing to settle on things like height, education, and life goals. I was done with that. How many of us girls do that? Thinking we will never meet the gold standard of our hearts. Nope. I want the highest and best for my life. No more compromise. Plus, Jesus just paid for a six month subscription, so I knew the dating scene was looking up. There had to be a promise in there!!

Next came my birthday in April. In continuing with the shoe theme, my friends took me to see the Broadway version of Cinderella. It was a day all about the shoes. We wore little black dresses and wore high heeled shoes. Mine were a sparkly pair of 4 inch, silver and gold stilettos. Yes, 4 inches of glorious lift. The best part of the show was that the whole cast sings a song about the prince. And get this, he has about 15 names and his last name is HERMAN! It was like God was saying, "See? I have a prince for you and I know him by name already." After the show, I again took my shoe off and took a picture: "Who will find my shoe?"

April was a monumental month not only because it was my birthday month. I decided to fly back to Costa Rica for one last hurrah with Rodney and Cindy before they moved home to the states. Their home was my home for two years of my life, and the community is still my family. It was so good to be back even for a small visit. On the plane ride down I had a heart to heart with God. Why haven't I met my prince yet? I know there has to be some one out there for me. It is the greatest desire of my heart. God, you said delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart. OK, God, I have delighted in You for YEARS. Where is he? But God, if it's not your love story for me, I don't want it. I have hope that there is a right guy out there. I won't settle for less, so if he's not from You, no thank you. I would rather be single and do missions and life alone than be with the wrong man. God restore my hope that there is an amazing man out there who will love me for who I am and compliment me in the dreams and goals I know you have placed in my heart.

About a week before I had left for The Rica, I decided to expand my search criteria on Christian Mingle. The lady was right, I could have more matches if I wasn't so specific, but when you know what you want...A tall, Jesus-loving, fun-filled, adventurous, world traveling, missions-going, thrill-seeking musician who loved LA but also felt called to the world who lived within 25 miles of me. Is that really too much to ask? Right? I didn't think so, either. So for one day I decided to go all wild and crazy and change my search. To include men up to 50 miles from me. I know, right? Of all the standards to lower I figured that was the safest one. Well, up popped 1 new match. A Mr. Surfilms, whose profile eerily read almost identical to mine. He claimed he was also a missionary in Costa Rica for two years, that he loved fun and adventure and was looking for a traveling buddy to go on missions with around the world within 25 miles of where he lived. Hmmmm....I had to know more. I sent an email asking about his time on the mission field. While I was in Costa Rica, I actually got a message back from Mr. Surfilms, also known as "Dave". And come to find out he actually lived right across town from me at the same time that I lived in Costa Rica. We even had several mutual friends from the mission field. Of course get this, we both were involved in different ministries (I was in the church Vineyard church plant in Los Anonos while he was in YWAM) but we both went TO THE SAME VINEYARD CHURCH IN ESCAZU when we had the chance to be away from our respective communities. Creepy. Yet the creepiest has to be when after we had been dating about a month, we were looking through facebook pictures together, talking about different places we had been to and adventures we had gone on. We were scrolling through Dave's facebook page when all of a sudden I yelled, "WAIT!! STOP!!! That's ME??" There was actually a picture on me on Dave's facebook wall from three years ago at a skateboarding competition in the national park in the center of downtown San Jose. I had been translating for the skateboarders and Dave was volunteering for the event. I was the dead center of his picture.

This picture of me was taken by Dave three years before we met.

When I got back to the states in May, he asked me out and to be honest it was love at first sight. There are so many details I would love to share, but it would fill way too many pages. I do have another blog post in mind that I need to write for all the women out there who have lost hope that they will find the right man for them. See, I had lost hope at the end of 2014 that there was a man out there that would fit what I was looking for. Someone to compliment me in my journey and someone I could encourage in his journey. God had many lessons he needed to teach me about hope and faith, but I'll save that for the next post.

On a really big fast forward, Dave and I have been dating for several months now, and last weekend he proposed. Of course I said YES! We are set to get married later this year :) I will say this before I go. It is worth it to say YES to God first. It is worth it to delight yourself in the Lord, because the desires in your heart are from Him. And the desires that He has for you are so much better and fuller and more wonderful than you could ever even begin to hope or imagine. And it is worth it to dream and have hope again. Because you may have to wait patiently (or not so patiently) for those desires to be fulfilled, but it is so worth it.