Raising a Child Takes A Village - Raising a Child with Social Media Involved Takes An Army.

If you've been around these parts for a while, you will know that I am partial to putting on my ranty pants.  I get my knickers in a knot about all kinds of interesting bullshit - but mostly about teenagers and the way things are today.

Enter today's post.

I think I'm doing an OK job as a parent.  I think that my eldest son's Dad and I, together with my husband and his Dad's partner, are banding together in some kind of strange unity to get him through these revolting teenage years.  If someone had of told me ten years ago that we would be working together, I would have laughed hysterically.  But a couple of months ago, when our son decided it was time to "up the ante" and test the proverbial waters, we all joined forces to SHUT THAT SHIT DOWN.

And it's worked.  So far.

What I AM struggling with, is being aware of everyone else's children.  Being aware of what they're up to, the shit they're getting in to.  And their parents being oblivious to it.  Hey, I'm not saying I'm perfect - clearly not.  It took almost six months for us to find out that our son had been feeding us bullshit sandwiches!  But in relation to social media - I'm on it.  I'm on his back - always have been, always will be.  We have explained to him what is and what is not acceptable when on social media applications.  That "liking" photos of scantly clad women with derogatory memes or FB pages called "Straya C*nt" not only offends me at times, it also shows up on all his other friends news feeds - including his grandmothers........ and that is NOT acceptable.  We have explained to him that just because a 15 year old girl has the username "Infinity_whore" (yes, you read that correctly), does not mean that it is OK.  It in fact means that she is not only degrading herself, she is allowing others to think it's OK to use such derogatory terms.  NOT OK.

I could go on.  And on.  And on.  I have so many tales to tell about instances we have had to pull him up and educate him on how we expect him to be using social media.  And how it doesn't matter whether other parents let their children use it - or in a lot of cases - don't give a shit about how their children use it.  What matters is how HE uses it.

I digress.  The reason I chose to write AGAIN about this, today, is because I have found myself in yet another quandary in regards to knowing about a child's behaviour and trying to decide whether or not to let said child's parents know?  I know the parents, from many years ago, but we are not friends as such.  I have stewed on the information for a couple of weeks now, debating how I would divulge the information?  Would I want to know if it were my young teenage daughter?  Would I want to hear it from someone else?  I put it out there late last night to my FB friends, and the resounding answer was YES.

So this morning I have been stewing further, going over several different drafts in my head, and have put it down in a FB message to before-mentioned Mother.  I am still yet to send it.

Earlier this year, I wrote this status on my personal FB page, after reading THIS post on MamaMia:

"Some of you already know this, but to everyone else - I will contact you if I see your kids posting inappropriately on social media, or if they're younger, just letting you know that their settings are public when perhaps you would like them to be private. I'm hoping you'd all do the same! Social media can be used so wonderfully - to engage with people in a wonderful way - it's such a shame that it gets used so shitfully at times. xx"

And a whole lot of friends agreed to do the same.  In the past couple of years, I've messaged, phoned and emailed parents when I've come across something I feel is either inappropriate or potentially dangerous with regard to their children.  It is always received gratefully, and in some instances, the parents have had absolutely no idea what Facebook or Instagram even are.

My best piece of advice?  Become an expert.  An expert on social media.  Learn how to use all forms of it.  And check in on your children.  See what they are "following", "liking" and laughing at.  Because without your direction and knowledge, they are trying to learn for themselves what is right and wrong.  They are learning from other kids, who possibly don't know what they're doing either.  Social media is a whole new world in terms of parenting.  I was trying to work out what to compare it to - but I've come up with nothing.  Nothing compares to the murky waters that social media has presented to us as parents.  And I hate to think that anything ever will.

Are you navigating the murky waters of teenagers and social media?  How's it working for you?

What Annoys Me

Each morning, I pour myself a bowl of cereal and come upstairs to check emails and the interwebs.  This morning, I read a blog post from Mia Freedman, over at MamaMia.  And I sat here nodding in agreement, and shaking my head at the poor journalistic efforts of some knob called Joe Aston??  To put it in a nutshell, Mia said "My kids can call me Mummy.  Anyone else who uses it is being a dick."  And further "Using the term "mummy" as a patronising prefix to describe the things women read, write or say is becoming increasingly common.  Mummy blogs, Mummy porn, Mummy wars......they're all condescending put-downs and it's time we killed them off."  Perfectly said Mia!

Do you want to know what gets ME annoyed?  I brought it up in a little handmade business group I'm involved with, when someone asked what bugs others in regards to Facebook pages.  

I really don't like the term "Mummy" or "Mumma" when it comes to describing an item for sale, or when referring to one's customers or followers on a Facebook page.  

There.  I've said it.  It has always made me cringe a little, which some people don't understand.  So this is why....

Although I make clothing for children, and now, quilts for children too, I have always been very careful not to label my customers.  As much as I know that the majority of said customers are women and a vast majority of them, Mothers - I also know that I have many customers who are Aunts, Uncles, Dads and Grandparents.  I would never want to A. possibly offend someone who either isn't or can't be a Mum and B. Narrow my market, ie. labelling an adult's garment as a "Mumma Skirt" could turn away possible customers, or referring to your customers in your posts as "Mummas" could potentially kill off sales to women OR men who like your handiwork but are put off because of such terminology.

My point is that regardless of whether you are a WAHM or not, you have a wide audience and possible customer base, including Men.  So by addressing your likers as "Mummas" and only Mummas, you are narrowing your reach.  Yes, I am a mother to four kids, but I am by no definition only a Mother.  I am a woman.  So in my very humble opinion, garments and goods made for women should be labelled as being made for women - not only Mummas.

The lovely ladies in the before mentioned group and I had a great discussion about why such a thing would shit me to tears.  And thankfully it was all taken exactly the way I had intended.  To make people think about the labels and terminology they are using when marketing themselves or their goods to others.

So - what's annoying you?

** Disclaimer - I am in no way, shape or form some kind of marketing genius.  I'm just a woman, who happens to be a mother, who happens to have a somewhat successful little handmade business.

Sharing is Caring

I am still laughing very loudly at what I have just watched, clicking on a link on Facebook!  I had to share.....

Rethink Breast Cancer presents: Your Man Reminder was one of the best videos I have seen in a long time!  It made me both laugh and drool.  And more importantly, I have now downloaded the app on to my iPhone so I will remember something I have always forgotten about.

And then this.......

Titled - Do NOT watch this video (but you probably should) - this video has made me laugh out loud - literally!  It has a bit of shock factor, so don't say I didn't warn you!

A big thanks to mamamia for sharing this with the world!