Find Me A Soapbox!!!

I've just been aimlessly wandering around Facebook, you know, checking out what everyone's up to, reading inspirational quotes and looking at cute photos.  And then I see it.  Again. 

The word "retard".

Seriously, what year do we live in?  I could almost understand if we were still in 1485....

But we're not.  It's 2013, and this word has been well and truly outed as a derogatory term used to call people who have disabilities.  The fact that it is still used so widely to put people down, make fun of others AND give shit to people with disabilities makes me really cross.  Yes, I'm cross!

Now, I'm not perfect.  I think we've established that over the years.  However, I am a grown up.  I have grown up to realise that such derogatory terms should not be used.  That with growing up, you learn to use your vocabulary.  Broaden your knowledge and all that.  Apparently this does not happen to everyone?

Maybe I'm a little bit precious about this?  Maybe because I've spent the past 16 years of my life working with people who just happen to be living with intellectual disabilities, I'm a little bit touchy on the subject of derogatory labels?  Maybe.  Or maybe it is just because I'm a human being with empathy.  And common sense.

For God's sake people - start using your brain before you post something on a social media site that could potentially upset or offend your friends.  Think about the fact that you may very well have friends or family who actually have family members living with some type of disability.  And think about how you would feel if you child, sibling or someone you love was being called a "retard".

And yes, I am writing this very hasty and annoyance fuelled blog post because if I didn't, I would be blurting this all out on Facebook, possibly offending others who actually like to call people retards.  How is that right?

Ok.  Stepping down off my soap box.  For now.

Do you have any words or labels that really offend your sensibilities?  Share.

** Disclaimer - I am not saying I don't use labels for people - I use the words Dickhead, Idiot, F*ckwit etc quite often..... But it's generally very warranted!

Breathing Life In...A Book Review of sorts.....

Tuesday, I shared THIS with you, and said I would be back to divulge more.  Here I am.  Still in a post-long-weekend-daze.  I spoke to my Mum earlier and she actually got choked up, talking about all the photos she had seen on Facebook, which displayed my weekend's antics.  Said she had not seen me smile so brightly in a while.  I agreed!  I relayed all the tales I had gathered, from all the familiar names she knew.  It was lovely to share.


She's SO right.  I have not been as happy, so blatantly cheerful, in quite some time.  I described it yesterday to work colleagues - I had time to BREATHE.  I'm tearing up just remembering.  I AM generally a VERY happy person.  I'm pretty certain most of my friends will tell you this.  But having the chance to just "BE" for four whole days, was one that has left me reeling.  Why?


I started Friday morning off with the usual school and creche run.  Popped in to the shops to grab a couple of things for the kids they needed, and then headed home to finish packing.  Mum came past and picked me up, for the trip to the airport.  Once safely inside the terminal, I pulled the book out of my bag that I had so patiently waited to open.  "50 Shades of Grey" stared up at me.  And so I began reading.....


Basically, I have not enough words I could pull from the thesaurus to give this novel the description is really deserves.  "Erotic Romance" is the class it has been slotted in to.  I have found it to be so much more.  I will sound like a typical guy who reads "Playboy" for the stories - but apart from the absolutely freaky, erotic, mind-boggling sex in this novel - the story really is great!  I couldn't put it down.  Didn't even realise I had landed in Queensland.....


This novel opened up many a conversation over the weekend.  With my closest of friends, whom I really have never spoken to much about sex.  Needless to say, the conversations were riveting.  But it also opened up the flood-gates.  Talking about our lives as a whole.  How we are women first and foremost, and then wives, mothers and friends.  How our marriages/partnerships should still be up there on the top of the priority list, but also, why they aren't at times.  It's because we are all so busy.  And not breathing.


Each of these beautiful women now have copies of the book, and its sequels.  Yes, there are three provocative, naughty and no-holds-barred books in the series.  I am almost finished the second (The husband bought the other two books for me whilst I was away!).  Eager much?


I sent my ever-patient husband a text today.  I told him I wouldn't be censoring my thoughts anymore.  He is FAR from concerned, I think he's revelling in it.  I'm breathing again.


So - I guess you could say this is my first ever "Book Review"?  Ummmm........just get it!  I guarantee it will open your eyes!


Do YOU read?  Do you take the time to catch your breath?

Crises....of sorts

It would be a fair assumption to say I am at a crisis point.  Actually, I am at a crisis junction - too many crises!  Where to start?

#1 - I received Chloe's kindergarten forms last week.  Which was all very exciting.  Until reality struck.  My baby will only be home one day per week.  GREAT I hear you say?  Well that's what I thought I would be saying - but I'm now in panic mode.  14 years of having a child at home with me is coming to an end a little too suddenly.  I need to wrap my head around that.....

#2 - Work.  I have been at the same job for some 15 years.  Love my job.  Not so much loving the shift work attached to said job these days.  Working every second weekend has lost its appeal.  Having three out of four children playing weekend sport as well as a husband who widows me every Summer, has made this past year frustrating.  Shift work is ideal for families with small children, but as we move into this next phase of activity over-drive, I'm finding myself treading water.  Lucky I have an awesome boss who doesn't slap me around when I'm having my all-too-familiar meltdowns!

#3 - The Big Brown House.  It's becoming very real that in a matter of weeks, we will have a mortgage.  A very substantial mortgage at that.  Back in my past life, at the ripe old age of 21, I bought a house.  For $75k!  Now THAT was a mortgage.  As I lay in bed trying to work out where the ABC1 weather man gets his outfits from, I told Andrew I was having a bit of a heart attack.  About the mortgage.  He laughed.

#4 - Seal quite obviously needs some sexual healing.  I watched "The Voice" and felt the skin crawling off my bones during Emma's performance.  At about 1.10 minutes in, it gets uncomfortable.  He needs to learn how to hide his lust!  And how to get a private room......

I could go on.  But I shan't bore you all!  

Anything got your knickers in a knot??


ps. this is my 200th blog post!  I'm going to get an icy-pole to celebrate....cos that's how I roll!

A Likely Witch Hunt

Happy Mother's Day!  I worked all day but was happy to return home  to a lovely Indian meal cooked by the husband, and the children had all made and bought me lovely bits and pieces.  Nice.


What I didn't think was nice, was the not so brilliant timing of 60 Minutes' story telling.  I mean seriously, putting a story on about smacking, on Mother's Day.  Good one.  I saw the ads for it last week, and straight away thought "fabulous, that woman is going to get roasted".  I'm always curious as to why people would put themselves out there, in the public arena, to be torn to shreds?


Just to clarify - I am NOT anti-smacking.  I am NOT pro-smacking.  I am PRO-PARENTING.  This is my take on it all....


I am not a perfect parent.  Far from it.  I have smacked my kids - on the VERY rare occasion.  It's usually out of frustration.  And I ALWAYS feel guilty after I have done it.  Hence why it has rarely occurred.  Watching the story this evening, I cringed.  This Mum, whom I am certain loves her four children dearly, smacks on a rather regular basis.  My opinion is that if you are smacking your children often, and on a regular basis - it's NOT working.  It's NOT effective.  Change your tact.  Clearly this Mum thinks she is doing the right thing.  And you know what?  That's for her to live with.  I can only imagine that she is now going to go through hell - because every anti-smacker on the earth is going to want her blood.  They will be gunning for her.  And that is unfortunate.


We all parent the only way we know how.  I USED to yell.  Until a few weeks ago.  Things are different in our household now.  I am relishing the random hugs, kisses and "I love you's".  A few days ago, I lost my shit for the first time since then.  And as I raised my voice and lost my temper, my eyes were open.  I saw the way my kids were looking at me.  And I remembered why I stopped yelling.  Their eyes were sad.  I stopped and apologised.


I'm hoping that the Mum from tonight's story watched tonight, and that her eyes were open.  I'm hoping that she saw the looks on her kids faces, and their body language.  And I hope that she learns from it.  I also hope that the wider audience and the media are kind, because after all - she's a Mum, just like the rest of us.  


Did you watch tonight?  Thoughts?

Being Blonde AND Brainy

I'm really amused and annoyed at myself right now!  I've just returned home from dropping Lochie off at basketball training.  And whilst that in itself was enough to have me in tears - I mean, really, when did my little boy turn in to a tallish, lankyish version of his old self?  I jumped in the car to return home to be greeted with a little red light, a beeping noise and my the car's temperature gauge almost bursting out of the dashboard!  Hmmmmm.  Whilst panic was setting in, I rang my husband.  Why? Not because I thought he could fix it (we are both mechanically challenged) but because I was worried I would konk out somewhere.  He was still at work on the other side of the city, and the two middle kids were at home whilst I made the ten minute return trip to the basketball stadium!!

About that time I had to make a choice.  Do I continue home in the hope I make it?  Or do I pull in to the service station to see what the problem was scratch my head and vacantly look under my bonnet?  I chose the second option.

Now I know this much about cars - they have a radiator.  Said radiator should be full of water.  Said car should be serviced at regular intervals so that mechanically minded employee can ensure it has water.  Let's just say........it was not full, because it hasn't been serviced in quite some time.  Whoops.

Whilst I stood there looking at empty radiator water container thingy, I remembered you should not open a radiator cap thing whilst they are hot.  So I stared a bit longer before a fellow who looked like he may vaguely know what he is doing pulled up next to me.  And I did what any blonde woman with a small child in their car would do, when they have no idea what to do.  I said:

"Excuse me?  I have a dumb blonde question: If the light is flashing and beeping and the temperature is super hot does that mean my radiator is empty?"

As I started speaking, I wanted to slap myself!  This lovely gentleman made light of my dumb blonde reference and was actually impressed amused that I even knew what a radiator was.

Thankfully, he took over the situation.  Got some big piece of rag type fabric from his van (do all middle aged men carry rags in their cars!?!) and calmly opened the radiator cap which was by this time a steaming furnace.  TWO BIG WATERING CANS later - and my radiator was full again!  She was bone dry.  Again - whoops.

Sooooo........the next dilemma.  Do I take my delightful 1999 Ford Station Wagon to be serviced and pay what will probably be a small fortune?  Or do I take the small fortune and trade her in for a later model baby?  Decisions, decisions.

Do you make jokes on your own behalf when you're feeling a bit silly and awkward?  

NO MORE BLONDE JOKES FOR ME!

The Slap

Controversy, controversy.....and another tale to tell.  Yesterday, I saw this link on my Facebook newsfeed, so I popped on over to see what it was all about.  Well, if you read that piece, you will find a whole different kind of controversy to what I'm going to talk about.....and one (how old is too old to breastfeed?) I'm not going to get involved in right now.  What this also lead me to, was reading up about the television show this piece was brought up by - "The Slap", which was aired on ABC television Thursday night.  I am actually spewing I didn't know it was on, because I think I would like to see it!

For what it's worth, I'm going to share my two bobs worth when it comes to physically disciplining someone else's child....

Many years ago, when my now on-the-cusp-of-being-a-teenager son was a delightful little four and a bit year old, I was at one of those lovely indoor play centres with a friend and her son, as well as our relatively newborn babies.  Kids were having a great time, climbing as high up as possible, we were having a great time, drinking hot chocolates and chatting.  Right about then, our boys came flying towards up, Lochie screaming at the top of his lungs and his mate talking a million miles an hour.  What we got from the gibberish was that some Mother excuse-for-a-woman had taken it upon herself to smack Lochie!

Now, what happened in the following five minutes could be described as a little crazy, but I was incensed that a total stranger, who calls herself a Mother, could lay a hand on another child.  The thing that made it look even crazier was this woman would not come down from the play equipment!  She was wayyyyyy up high in the equipment, so I HAD to go bat-shit crazy at her from down below!  Gained a little attention as well as horror from the other parents in the centre whilst I was at it....

After realising my fury was not going to make this woman come down, I retreated to my table and was consoled by my gf along with random strangers who were also incensed by what had unfolded.  I could see the object of my fury making her way down to the floor, so readied myself for a confrontation that I really did not think I would ever have to have.  I made my way over to her - new born in one arm so as not to belt her one myself - and ever so calmly asked her what on earth had possessed her to smack my child?  Her response you ask?  "Well, he hit me first"  I KID YOU NOT!  It was about this stage I got in her face and retorted that she was the adult, he was the child, and that NO MATTER WHAT - you should NEVER touch another person's child!  If she had a problem with my child, she should have come and seen ME about it, in an adult fashion - not responded like another four year old and smacked him back.

In the end, I achieved nothing, as she defended her actions and could not see what she did as wrong.  I told her what I thought, in probably less than delightful terms, and she went on her way - leaving the centre with her poor children behind her.

I can honestly say that this incident was one I would prefer never to have happened, but one that I have mentioned in conversations with fellow Mothers when discipline, as a topic, has been raised.

As I said earlier.....I didn't see the first episode of "The Slap", but I'm going to have a search to see if I can view it online, and then give my opinion on that little scenario.

Has anyone else had a similar experience, or am I the only one with nut-cases in play centres?