Changing of The Guard - Sans Uterus

I don't know how many times I have said it, but I'll say it again - I'm so glad I do not have a uterus anymore.  I usually utter this sentence upon seeing a divine little newborn human being, as I did yesterday whilst at the local shopping centre.  Andrew was sitting next to me in the hairdressers, whilst we were wrangling the four kids and trying our hardest to keep our shit together whilst one niggled at another, and the four year old was trying desperately to break one of the chairs.  I saw the newborn bundle and my insides ached.  I'm assuming the part that was aching, is the big black hole where once my womb lived?  The same part that grew five (well, only four of them "successfully") human beings.  The part that gave me so much joy, but also so much pain.  Andrew gave me a look when I said it.  You know - THE look.  The "are you fucking crazy" look?

I fear if I still had my uterus I would have continued to churn out babies like nobody's business.  I would have put up with the morning all day sickness, the burst blood vessels in my eyelids from heaving so violently.  I would have gone through the trials and tribulations of gestational diabetes, paying $3 a day for a sugar free chocolate bar, just to get my "fix".  I would have bitched and moaned about how much I hate being pregnant, but in the next breath, declare how thrilled I was to have another baby on the way.  I would have put up with the agony of a shot pelvis.  The embarrassment of having to be pushed around the shops in a wheelchair - for I could not walk longer than 10 minutes without the pain becoming overwhelming.  Yep - I would have gone through all of that, over and over - just for that amazing feeling of elation when you have that gooey, strange little bundle of joy in your arms.

Sigh.

I'm so very thankful, however, that I don't have that option any longer.  My body waved the white flag and I surrendered.  I am so very happy with my tribe.  Only a matter of weeks ago I told one of my best friends that I was happy I did not have to go through the up's and down's of a new baby.  The elation of its arrival, and the deep desperation for sleep.  An hour later, she told me she was pregnant!  Problem solved.  I can live vicariously through my friends.  I am finally the one who can offer to babysit.  I am on the precipice of some form of freedom.

I'm almost on the other side.  2013 will be dishing out time.  For me.  For the first time in more than 14 years, I will have more than a fleeting couple of hours to myself on a regular basis.  In fact - I will have TWO WHOLE DAYS A WEEK!  When this occurred to me a few months ago, I said to Andrew I could pick up some extra work.  And then I found my head and screwed it back on and slapped myself.  Those two days a week are going to be filled with lots of nothing.  I am not planning anything.  I'm winging it!  (Ok, I'm being hopeful, but I really AM planning on doing lots of random shit that is totally unplanned)

So, as I patiently await the arrival of numerous bundles of joy, from a lovely array of friends, I will be busily not planning what I will be doing next year.  I will be filling my diary with play dates, of the grown up variety.  I may finally remember what it is like to go a whole day without having to feed someone else, change the channels constantly and figure out why Barbie's shoes won't stay on or translate Dora's antics!  Hola!!

  

Water

Lots of holding on whilst google searching
pictures of water!
infralight.com.au

Amazing title yes?  Maybe no??

This may be a very dis-jointed post, basically because I need to pee what seems like every ten bloody minutes.  Since my crazy Bikram jaunt two days ago, I have been drinking like a frigging fish, and weeing like a pregnant woman.  Have no fear, don't even ask - I'm not preggers.  No, no, I have been HYDRATING oneself.  Because that is what one does when one sweats like the proverbial pig during 90 minutes of hell.  I have NEVER felt the need to drink so much water in my entire life.  And considering that I generally only drink a few glasses of pepsi max every day, it's a shock to my system.   BRB - going to pee.....

Following my class from hell, I sat at the top of the stairs as we were meant to be leaving for basketball and told Andrew I thought I would be sick.  He told me I needed an energy drink.  Fab.  So on the way he stopped at 7-eleven and got me a watermelon flavoured Gatorade.  Enter gagging noise.  Honest to God - who in their right mind drinks those drinks willingly???  Well, me.  I got through a whole game of basketball, scoring nonetheless, sipping on watermelon salty/sugary flavoured water.  And managed to hold on til half time to run to the loo.  I questioned the validity of drinking so much fluids when it only stayed in my body for such a short period of time?  Why drink all that water when it just ends up coming out the other end??

I continued my water marathon all. bloody. day.  And much to my amazement, drank a whole bottle of the stuff whilst watching Chloe's swimming lesson this morning, and just had another glass before sitting down to bang this baby out.  I'm in awe of myself.  Oh, hang on......gotta go wee again!

We went out for dinner with one of my besties and her new beau Saturday night, and she reiterated to me once again, that she cannot believe how many times I need to wee!  She has known me over 20 years, and giggles at the lack of accommodation in my bladder.  I dream of nights going to bed and not waking up until I've had a restful eight hours of sleep - and not having to make a trip to the loo.

Given - I've had four kids.  My bladder is not what it used to be.  Not even close.  And I can't say that I'm doing regular Kegel exercises.  In fact, I would do them now, but I need to go wee again.......sigh.

So it would seem that not only has Mr Bikram given my muscles a rude awakening (I shit you not - I had forgotten I had lower abdominal muscles until yesterday, when I woke with soreness in places I did not believe could be sore) it has also awakened my bladder, and the fact that I should probably start doing something about it, if I do not want to start sporting elastic waisted pants with a low crotch - allowing more room for my Tena lady.....

Do you drink water and does it make you feel like you are bordering on incontinence???  Help!

A Sanitary Post......Curious?

Firstly - a disclaimer - I can't take any responsibility for making any men squirm when they read this post!

This afternoon I was enlightened.....Whilst catching up on people's posts in a Facebook sewing group I am a part of, I came across this post:

"I want to make some cloth panty liners but my normal cloth pads slip around and I find myself "adjusting" the pad all the time.  I need a fabric that is going to stop the pad from slipping around.  Does anyone have any fabric suggestions?"

I actually had to re-read it a few times to make sure I understood exactly what they were talking about.  Re-usable sanitary pads?  Really?  This is something I had only heard about from my Mum's era.  I was intrigued!

So I read on, and was amazed at how many women actually use them!  And there are thriving businesses out there who make and supply them!  I actually felt right out of the loop, considering I have not had to wander the supermarket aisle that supplies the disposable version since my ovaries lost their home base.  I may have been naive in thinking that all women just moved swiftly through aisle number 7 (or whatever aisle they happen to be in) grabbing a couple of boxes of whatever works for them!

I'm all for personal choice, environmental factors and really, generally just people who make choices for themselves, but now I'm really curious.......does anyone reading this use the environmentally friendly version of sanitary products?  And why do you use them?  Just for curiosity's sake!