The Little Phone That Swam. And The Crazy Woman Who Sunk.....

Last Wednesday afternoon, I went and picked up Lochie from school - something that is out of my routine, because he usually catches the bus - got him home and ran inside to quickly use the loo before I had to head out again to get Chelsea and Cadyn.  So in I run, pull down my dacks in a hurry, and then I hear it - Splash.  I recognise the sound immediately and turn around to find my beloved iPhone5 at the bottom of the toilet bowl.  Thankfully it was pre-wee, so I plunged my hand in and rescued thy phone and went about rapidly drying it in a towel and pulling the case off it!  All this whilst my pants were still around my knees - too much information I know!

Less than five minutes later, this is what my phone looked like....

Ms Midge on Instagram

And this is what I looked like.....

Source

What followed this little "incident" can only be described as panic, fretting, fear, loss, grief.....well, you get it?  Within the hour, I had jumped up and down, emailed and rung my husband (he was in a meeting godammit) and then absconded to the shopping centre with Lochie's old Nokia phone to get myself a new sim card.

Within a couple of hours, I realised I had no idea how to use a Nokia anymore, and retrieved my ollllldddddd iPhone3 from a friend who had been borrowing it.  I then exhaled.

Why am I telling you all of this?  Well, after 24 hours of using my uber slow old iPhone, I realised just how much I depend on my mobile phone.  I realised that I do not know my husband's phone number, nor the majority of my friends and family.  I realised my life is entered in to my iCalendar.  I realised I needed to get a life outside of my phone.....

So, where to from here?  Well, I'm very happy to report that after three days buried in rice, thinking my phone was long gone and never to be used again, my darling husband suggested the battery may be flat?  So I plugged it in.....

Flash! Ahhh-ahhhhhhh.......

The old gal (ok, so it's less than a year old) has life in her yet!  She still has a little condensation under the screen, but my friends around the world Google tells me this should dissipate eventually.

What have I learnt from this exercise?

I have learnt that I don't need to check my phone every ten minutes - because when you're using an old phone that is as slow as a freakin elephant, you can't be bothered checking it.  And I have learnt that I should not wander from my normal routines, because when I do, I forget shit and phones fall in toilets!  Yes - I'm blaming my 14 year old son for this whole thing!*

In all seriousness, I am almost embarrassed at how much I depend on this little device.  The fact that it basically lives on one side of my arse most days is a little worrying.  And on that note - where do I store my phone in Summer when I'm donning frocks?  Yes, it's been a long Winter.....

The moral of my story?

Don't keep your phone in your back pocket.  And memorise important phone numbers.  Note to self: take note of these.....

Tell me - where do you keep your mobile phone?  Ever had a "toilet incident"?  Did your phone live to tell the tale?  Spill.....

* Ok, maybe not the whole thing.  Just a little bit.

The Fun Police Free Weekend

I've come to the conclusion just recently that I am, in fact, the Fun Police.  Thou shalt not have silly, crazy fun - for thou may just annoy me and not allow me to do what I want.  Well, the fun police left this house Saturday morning - at precisely the same time my darling husband departed for two days away, and I was left holding the babies.  I wanted to prove to my kidlets that I CAN in fact be lots of fun, and not the uptight, stressed out, do-your-own-thing-without-annoying-me kind of Mum.

This is how I did it......

I worded the kids up - got them intrigued as to how Mum was going to keep them amused all weekend.  I asked them Friday night what they wanted for dinner Saturday?  Nachos was the vote.  Also asked what the breakfast request was for Sunday - pancakes and raisin toast.  Not a problem.  Successful trip to the supermarket that evening.

Saturday morning began bright and early with our first game of basketball at 9.15am.  Successfully got out the door with no issues.  Check.  I then bribed them with hot chips before the second game - WHICH I WAS COACHING!  Please note: I have NEVER coached a game of anything in my life - so was rather nervous.  Andrew is coach extraordinaire, so I had a bit to live up to.  Lucky for me we were playing the bottom team.  Lucky for me the five girls I was coaching knew what they were doing and all actually listened to what I did actually have to say to them.  WIN WIN!!!  19-4 Victors!

From that little victory we moved forward to more.  Hot dogs for lunch!  Can you see a little theme developing??  Thank the Lord above for sunshine!!  It meant they went outside for a while.  Well, half an hour.  I didn't complain.  Whilst I set to finishing a few sewing orders, they all found something quiet to do - in between asking for snacks - which I said yes to.  Every. single. time.  We searched iTunes for a movie to rent, but then realised we had one iq'd on foxtel.  Movie promised for after dinner.  Next thing I knew - NACHOS!  Discussion had over nachos that the football wouldn't be finished until 7.30pm, which meant it would be too late for a movie.  They all agreed!!!  WTF???

Nom nom nom

 Chloe retired to her kids channels, whilst Cadyn, Chelsea and I sat and watched the second half of the footy.  It was a super game and we were all cheering, screaming and holding our breath as we watched the Hawks beat the Swans!  It was a really nice hour.

Bedtime.  Phew.

I sat up until midnight.  Sewing.  As you do.  Clearly.

7.15am.  Sunlight.  Wide awake.  WTF???

Chloe joined me not long after and after a few quiet games of wordsearch on my phone, the other two were hassling me for pancakes.  Let me be clear on something - I am a cereal girl.  In fact, I would be what is commonly known as a "creature of habit".  That is, I eat the same cereal every.single.day.  And I eat it as soon as my feet hit the kitchen floor.  So cooking pancakes before I have eaten anything is not my idea of waking up wonderfully.  But I sucked it up.  We shook the shit out of that pancake mix (yes, I took the lazy way out) and smoked up the kitchen as we cooked up a storm.  A bench covered in lemon juice and sugar, mixed with happy children IS in fact rather wonderful.  I even skipped the cereal.

Nom nom nom - again.

And the rest of the day?  Well, I spent my time washing and cutting my little dog's hair (no more rasta poodle), dry wretching whilst emptying the cat litter (Andrew will not be forgiven for leaving that SHIT to me), listening to Cadyn and Chloe playing like maniacs and pulling all the blankets and pillows off the beds to make some sort of play equipment.  There was more time spent out in the sunshine and trawling the internet with Chelsea to find what on earth she would be wearing to Book Week dress up day on TUESDAY.  

The cause of my heaving.....Just when you think it's all gone - you're left with this foulness.

Her choice?  The pixie from The Magic Wishing Chair by Enid Blyton.  Of course.  This was at 2pm.  By 3.00pm I had received some ideas and links from my little FB sewing group and found myself driving to Lincraft.  Home by 3.30pm with a bunch of green fabrics and tights.  Impressed to say that by 5pm we had that bitch of a costume done and dusted.  Yeh.  Oh, and thanks to that same Lord above (or whoever it is) for my non-costume-loving son, who has decided he will go as Specky Magee!  Easy.

Leftover spag bog was all that was left of our bribery-through-food weekend.  Oh, and Alvin & The Chipmunks, just to top it all off!

I asked the kids at the dinner table if they'd had a good weekend?

They said Yes.

Which makes me a very happy Mummy.  I'd like to say that the Fun Police have been banished, but I would be fooling myself (and everyone else).  I'm trying to come to grips with the kind of Mum I am.  Although I may not be what I would consider a fun-lovin, easy-going kind of Mum.  I still think I'm a good one.  And it seems my kids do too.  Amen.

Did you all have a good weekend?  Do the Fun Police have a place in your home??  Two hours until Andrew gets home!!!

Monday Funday

A bit of Monday night random thoughts for you all.....cos I know you need it!

Please tell me I am not the only person who is regularly greeted with poo in the toilet?  You know, you innocently walk into the bathroom and go to sit on the toilet to see that the person before you has not only failed to use toilet paper, but has also failed to flush?  Do little kids just have this inept ability to "snap one off", or could it be that they have no problem walking around with poo stuck to their undies every day?

Told you it was random.....

I am taking a strange amount of joy in taping empty boxes together and filling them ONLY with stuff I am remotely interested in carting to the new house.  I am taking even MORE joy in putting a whole bunch of crap next to said boxes, preparing them to go to their new home at the OP shop!  Or bin - sssshhhhhhhhh........

I continue to be freaked out by the 13 year old MAN that is residing in my house.  It just IS NOT RIGHT that he has gone from being a little boy to a mumbling, deep-voiced, pimply and somewhat hairy human being.  It does not help that this person also thinks he can raise his voice and question every. single. thing. we. say.  Nope, not helpful at all.

I wore leggings today.  And leopard print.  Together.  I got some strange looks - I'm always in jeans or skirts - I think everyone at school pick up was confused?  Cadyn was confused - Cheetah or Leopard?

We watched an epic of a basketball game on Saturday - Chelsea's under 10 team in the grand final - coached by my husband.  They came from behind to draw and went in to double overtime.  At some stage during the last 15 minutes of the game I felt like I was going to keel over.  The Mum sitting next to me said I went white as a ghost whilst I took the "Brace" position you learn over many years of watching serious airline stewards.  Lucky for me I had lollies in my bag and powerade was rampant on the bench!  I can laugh about it now - but the serious side of this is that I have had a pathology request on the fridge for two months now.  I'm off to have my GTT test tomorrow.  Remember the two hour torture glucose test you have to have when you're pregnant?  I am *meant* to have them every two years - post gestational diabetes with all four kids.  These funny little episodes I have been experiencing for a few months now are hopefully not indicative of anything serious......cos I will seriously KILL someone if I can't eat chocolate or lollies anymore!!!!

And last but not least in this Monday mundane.  During Chelsea and my post-grand-final-loss-shopping-trip, we I came across this delightful product.....

If I were Kate Middleton/Wales, I would not be a happy Princess!

A whole lot of randomness

Lots of thoughts running through my head today.  Not unusual.

Why is it that when little boys play video games, they feel the need the continually commentate every move, jump up and down and act like complete fools?  Yet girls will just sit there quietly playing...

Why is it that my husband (is it only my husband?) is so very capable of tidying and cleaning the kitchen after dinner - yet the pots/pans seem to always be left sitting in the sink?

Why do I bother folding clothes and putting them in to neat piles, only to find them shoved in to drawers or thrown on floors?

How is it that my toilet always smells of wee??  No amount of cleaning, bleaching, pulling the damn thing apart and soaking relieves me.  Well, I just spent $50 on a piece of ENJO brilliance in the hope that it will help.  I used it yesterday and nearly vommited.....

This expensive piece of hardware gets in under the rim - like. nothing. else.  Use your imagination, as I cannot
describe what was discovered or I will likely gag.....

I spent $180 on a bed linen set yesterday.  Unheard of.  But it got me - the window display.  And my husband agreed when I oohed and ahhed.....so I marched straight in and bought it.  Thoughts?

Love

SIX MORE SLEEPS - until school returns!  They're all still alive - and it's a miracle...

One of my dearest friends is coming to stay for two nights, with her 3 month old bundle of joy.  And then it's back to London for them.  It still astounds me that she and I have only ever lived in the same state as each other for a whole six months.  And yet, we are still so close.

My three year old just came out and asked me to put a necklace on her.  "So I look like a person".......ummmmmm, ok.

That's it.  All that is flowing through my mind.  Have a wonderful day! xx

WTF - aka What The Friday?

Image from: http://www.promptfolio.hu/portfolio/wallpaper-wtf/41/

This past week I have come across so many things that have had me saying "What the?!", so I thought I would dedicate today to these moments, and share some of them with you....

-  I cannot count the number of grown up  adult members of the public who have either walked past me or been within close proximity of me, whom have either decided not to wash and/or apply deodorant, or just have no sense of smell.  Seriously people, do you not have any pride in yourself?  Do you not realise how disgusting it is to have to smell your odour as you pass others' noses?  Ewwwwww.....

-  Whilst working the other day, I took one of the lovely elderly gentlemen out to the local shopping centre.  As I have mentioned in past posts, I work in the disability field, and this man has Downs Syndrome.  So we're having a lovely time, walking around when I see a couple of families walking towards us, and the kids are laughing.  I look next to me and my friend's jeans had come down around his thighs (note to self: check he's wearing a belt in future).  I was horrified, not for me - but for him.  I quickly pulled his strides up for him.  But what I was most horrified about, was the fact that the parents with these kids laughing were ok with this.  And they were ok with walking past us, and not telling me that there was an issue.  I know that if I was to see this happen to someone, I would definately let them know, and offer assistance if required.  And if my kids were to be the ones laughing, I would be explaining to them that it is perhaps not the nicest thing to do.  Grrrrr......

Ummmm.....Melbourne - why oh why do we have statues of babies with tails in our city???

-  I'm constantly amazed at how people have arguments/fights/all-out brawls in the public arena that is Facebook.  This week I was "lucky" to see a bunch of 18 year olds go hell for leather at each other, totalling over 500 replies on the one status!  I was exhausted after scrolling through the first hundred, but was astounded to see multiple uses of the "c" bomb and the "n" word.....  Gob-smacked.

And lastly - The news this morning that a 14 year old boy had been detained in Bali for being caught buying marijuana.  There are so many judgements and opinions flying around social networking sites, but the only one I am going to part with is: My son is a month shy of 13.  Not in a pink fit would I let him wander around Bali (yes, I have been there, so do have some idea of what it's like) and be put in the predicament this poor child has been placed in.  I feel terribly sorry for him, and his parents, because this mistake or seemingly bad judgement call could potentially cost him and them very, very dearly.