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A letter from Badong

t Image via Wikipedia Dear Mr. G, I am writing this letter to end all of your and the rest of the barkada's suspicions about me—that is being gay. I know, Mr. G, that you are always asking me if I have a girlfriend or not. Once, you even asked me if I have a boyfriend. I almost told you I had one, but was unsure of what you will say or think about me. I tell you now, I am gay. I hope you are not shocked. Although I have had relationships with women/girls in high school and college, I always knew I was attracted to men—since elementary days. There is no denying that I slept with most of them. I mean it when I say now that I have had good sex with them. So to say, I was not homosexually active then.

That 1 million dollar question

Image via Wikipedia Whenever I meet some PLUs or should I say those who are close to me--intimately and emotionally, I make it a point to tell them I am married.  I do not want to fool them.  Then they begin to ask a question: "When did you realize you are gay/bisexual? Before or after the marriage?" Answering this question is like undergoing a revalida.  An answer leads to a battery of questions.  It was uncomfortable. Suddenly, I scamper and grope for theories or schools of thought on homosexuality. I, myself is at a quandary "when, what, who, how."

2 years and 7 months

...are the number of years and months that I haven't had sex with a guy!   You may not believe it, but it is true.  I have stopped getting emotionally involved more than 4 years ago , and I allowed myself to vanish from the gay circles more that two years ago. Sex is very much a part of me, and sex with men adds spice to my otherwise heterosexual biological needs.  This was a self-imposed hiatus and hibernation.  I do not know if I have to congratulate myself or not because from time to time, I still hanker for intimate moments with a man.  I may appear to be pathetic, but sometimes, I do not feel that way either.