A blast from past cd's collection

My brother took the wheel driving us from Penang to KL after a short trip celebrating aidil adha in Penang. I took the time off as co pilot to look at a compilation of old cd's in the car. It was a collection of cd's circa 98-2001. Going through every cd's caught me by surprise; my range of music cover from heavy metal the likes of Metallica to the ballad/pop tunes of Mariah Carey. In between, my ears also soothe to the hinds melody of kuch kuch hota hai soundtrack! My oh my.

I never had any preference selection to my music. As long the ears are receptive every melody can blend in me. I am the 'senang nak di bela' type person, I guess. ;)

Music is universal. If the melody is too hard for u, try understand the lyrics. The hard melody may represent some hatred within whilst the lyrics may present us with some soul searching and advice. How weird it may sound, the best songs were never the ear-catchy ones. Sometimes we need to listen hard to understand the story behind.
Anger, Sadness, Happiness, Empathy are part of the story. The story of life of the storyteller (singer).

cd cd lama yeop!

Glancing through my copies of music cd's, it reflected me as a very colourful person and I'm proud to say it loud. Thank god for giving me two healthy ears that help me listening (learning) from wonderful songs all these years. :)

Now, I'm looking forward to finishing my compilations of old cd's. Say no to hot FM for a while...

p/s: listening to Santana 'Corazon Espinado' now made me feel going air guitar solo!!

dihantar dari berryhitam® ku

Farihah Idris Wedding Reception

Today is an auspicious day for some. My cousin got married and everyone of us are here to grace her reception.

It's hard to get everyone together and opportunity like this don't come easy hence to hv most of relatives for the event was truly fantastic.

My dad is from a large family of 7. He has 3 brothers and 3 sisters. He is the fifth of the family. God bless all of his siblings still alive and kicking. The event bring them together once again.

They were very close before and even closer now. With children all grown up in front of their eyes and now counting grand children, life never been exciting to each and every one of them albeit some up and down over the years

Today was a happy day for paksu idris's family, the youngest. They accept a son in law in their family. As our nucleus family grow older, I wish the bonds that tie us as family last to the next generation. God's will.

Sent by mymorky plan

"Inilah lumrah kehidupan"

"Bukan senang nak senang, Bukan susah nak susah.."

"Buat! jangan buat-buat... main! jangan main main."

Terngiang-ngiang kata-kata itu tatkala meniti perjalanan ku kembali ke rumah. "Hari ini bukan hari ku.." getus hatiku sayu, sesayu mindaku yang terus mengelamun ketika tangan masih memegang stereng melintasi ratusan deretan kereta di plaza tol.

Ku kira pagi tadi adalah permulaan yang baik. Rupanya aku salah. Aku mengaku aku tak sempurnakan kewajipan pada malamnya. melabuhkan dahiku sujud pada Yang Esa. "Oh tuhan, ampuni aku!" Dan setiap kali itu juga aku terus berjanji kepada Yang Esa; bahawa tidak akan sekali  ku lelapkan mata ini selagi aku tidak bersujud kepadaMu dan tiap kalinya juga aku terus memungkiri Mu, Ya Allah!

"Masihkah ada ruang keampunan pada diriku yang dhaif ini?" Aku menyesal untuk ke sekian kali. Memang benar nasihat orang-orang tua bahawa pintu rezkimu akan dibuka setiap pagi tatkala mentari merah menyinsing di ufuk timur. Namun ketika itu aku kerap dibuai mimpi. sigh.

Kekalutan pagi ini tambah perit apabila si dia juga dingin terhadapku. Aku tak salahkannya, dia hanya menjalankan kewajipan sebagai seorang istri. Mana mungkin seorang istri sanggup membiarkan permata hatinya hanyut tanpa pedoman. Sekali sekali bebelannya menyakitkan telinga tapi benar belaka. Yang salah tetap aku tetapi sayang sekali ego lelaki tak bisa mengaku kalah. Kesudahannya, perasaan si istri pasti terguris, sedih. Maafku sayang! Pagi ini tidak seperti yang kita harap-harapkan rupanya.

Sepanjang perjalanan, kami berdua memilih untuk berdiam. Ku kira tidak guna membakar lagi perasaan kerana penyudahnya sudah dapat diduga. Masing-masing mengelamun dan mempertahankan pendirian. Ego menguasai jiwa. Penyudahnya, tiada siapa yang untung.. masing masing menanggung rugi kerana sanggup berlapar dari kalah dalam perdebatan. Nampaknya darah muda masing-masing masih kuat menyala! :)

Pagi ini ku isi dengan pertemuan dengan rakan niaga. Perjalanan untuk projek seterusnya masih jauh. Sang ketua merasa perlu bukti kukuh dari pihak aku sebelum wang dapat disalurkan. Aduh! 2 minggu lagi. Kadang-kadang aku fikir sejenak, "adakah mereka tidak yakin dengan keupayaan ku? habis kenapa sanggup laburkan jutaan ringgit jika tak percaya projek ini akan berjaya? Manakan dapat ruyung kalau tak pecahkan sagunya, bukan?!"

Aku dan rakan niaga menerima keadaan seadanya. Mungkin ada hikmah di sebalik semua ini, Tambahan pula  kami akan lebih bersiap siaga. Biarlah keringat kami bercampur namun mundur untuk projek ini tak akan sekali kali ku hambur. Kami percaya ada sinar di luar sana. Pabila peluang itu terbina pasti kami akan gempur.

Sebelah petang aku bersama paman. Kali ini kami cuba pula menyakinkan si pembekal bahawa kami lah yang paling layak menjadi rakan niaga mereka. Projek ini bukan sebarangan, membekal peralatan untuk makmal biosekuriti jabatan. Perbelanjaannya besar tetapi pengalaman si pembekal merupakan penanda aras projek ini mampu kita ketengahkan bersama. Namun sekali lagi aku malang, si pembekal merasakan projek ini ada kekurangan. Ada jurang yang besar antara harga peralatan sebenar dengan anggaran yang dimasukkan jabatan. Justeru, si pembekal merasakan ada 'permainan' di peringkat jabatan dan kita harus waspada agar tidak kecundang di peringkat mula. Ahh..gagal lagi aku hari ini.

Aku agak kecewa. Yalah, janji sudah bermacam-macam di depan mata. Hasilnya masih tiada. Keluh aku tak berhenti. Terima kasih ada paman yang terus beri motivasi; "Yang ini baru kita gagal yang ke 3.. Paklang sudah gagal sampai tak terkira.." Alah Bisa Tegal Biasa katanya. Syukur aku ada paman yang memahami dan sentiasa beri kata-kata semangat. Ku ucapkan selamat tinggal padanya di Subang Jaya dan keretaku terus meluncur laju menuju ke plaza tol...

Begitulah perjalanan aku hari ini.

Langit tak selalunya cerah bila awan mendung berarak lalu.

Namun aku tetap percaya pasti ada sinar pelangi tatkala hujan berhenti.

Yang pasti aku akan terus maju hadapan.. ya, mungkin sesekali menoleh ke belakang tetapi tidak sesekali kembali berpatah balik.

Noktah.

moving in to a new start

It all started in April 2008, when both of us decided it was high time for us to move away from the family after a year of marriage. I, on one hand a bit reluctant to move away. Being a selfish ignorant brat made me settled around my family thus position me to stay put. However, after deeply thought and big discussion between myself and my other half, I felt this would be a good opportunity to experience new life at a different place.

A great search around Shah Alam was made. Major factors such security, distance to milla's office, near to marketplace, coffee beans wifi etc were considered. We would have end up at a rental house behind milla's office whose the owner was kind enough to offer RM900 rental per month. However the plan wasnt materialise after seeing the place and later found out that the area was formerly a 'loji' for tut tut tut... ewww.

We put up more effort searching for the right home and an idea did came along for us to purchase a townhouse somewhere in Section 9 Shah Alam - Seri Mahligai. Ironically, it's kind of 'the place' in those days when i was still a student in ITM. A sacred place for only the riches and now we were thinking to own one! hah hah hah.

Opportunity did came along. When the agent called saying that there was a house on sale in Sri Mahligai, we quickly made our way as if that was the last one to offer. Without further hesitant and with the help of our 'kejiranan'- Bunyok and Amy Winehouse, we decided - YES, this is to be our home. Our love nest. Paper was signed and deposit was put on the table and the next thing to get done is acquring home loans

I never deal with bank on home loans, worst never had a hire purchase loan in my history book. This was kind a new thing to me but i decided whatever it is, the loans must be applied from a bank nearby. I dont want later if we face trouble, we need to travel as far just to get a paper sign. Quite a number of bank did offer a deal but in the end after much consideration, i settled with CIMB- Islamic home flexi loan (ini free ad nih.. kena claim commision)

Loan settled, now another major part was to have some rennovation on the house based on our needs and desired. I dont want to be all messy and full, a nice and cosy place would do. In the hand of our contractor , Pure Progressive Builders Sdn Bhd (yeah! another free ad) we put our trust and money! It turn up well even with number of hiccup along the way when i have to get my ass up to the management to explain to them about some delays on construction works that obviously effected my neighbours life all over. Lucky me, the neighbours do understand and sport enough to compromise my rennovation works and the works lasted till 2 days before Hari Raya. 

As the new house ready to receive the new owner, now come to most difficult part of all - getting yourself mentally and physically ready to move out to the new place. It took us many many many months to settle that we need to move in to our new house. Lot of things occured along the way and postponed our moving and I do appreciated the patience and wisdom of my Milla in handling this moving in issue.

In the end, after so many months and so many tears..

we moved into our new home on the eve of maal hijrah

Should this be a  new start to a new beginning?

god's will.

lost in my own translation

Dear Sir,

I have to admit that i have become dis-illusioned about myself and my undertakings in my daily tasks. I realised that now i have becoming more a lia

bility rather than an asset to the organisation. I know my responsibilities and my obligations indeed my path have becoming narrowed ever since I put my integrity and my trust beneath me. Thus, to be fair to the other colleagues and above all to be fair to myself, I am offering myself to be 'culled out' away from the organisation. (read: spectre)

My conscience is no longer clear for me to belief in. My esteem is as low as the 'ground zero' and my heart could not stop pounding another beat just to let me free from this misery. How could i survive another day? please help me God!

The reality hurts. 

and it hurts me badly.

I need to find my escape route to fill the void within me. 

www.almostfearless.com

yours truly.

a very exhausting 2 days events yet satisfying

Off all the hard work and sacrifices in preparation of my sis' wedding. It came in graceful and ended in cheerful notes. It was an exhausting experience and i did my honour to conduct the event with a bang! A lil pat on the back i guess?! *wink*

I shall put in details once the tiring feeling is over. For now, my gratitute, my thanks and my appreciation to those ppl who make this event a memorable success. gracias

moqq

tribute to kak ayu.

kak ayu dearie,

It seems only yesterday when we were young, adolescent and having much fun together. Now you have grown up and within the next 4 days will embark into another important journey of your life – your dream marriage. I must admit that we were never the closest siblings. In fact I used to regard you as my nemesis, in getting the best attention from ayah and mak. ;) At time, as the elder sibling, I would be given the benefit of doubt by ayah and mak when things (read: quarrelling) get out of hand. Even though on some occasions we were merely ‘having fun’ but as you ended up crying, I definitely will be in trouble due to my seniority. Erghh. I reckon those events had led us to be much apart of our growing up years.

As we grew older, I observed that you have become wiser and stronger . You have changed a lot in response of the environment around you. You have build up a belief that all responsibilities are bestowed upon you. Thus, you have developed into a strong character yourself in dealing with other siblings. The tough character made you more responsible, aware and helpful in many ways. It reflected when you dedicated yourself for my wedding reception last year and indeed I promised myself to take the same honours on yours this year. Terima kasih kak ayu

kak ayu,
You have grown into a better person. Even at times you could be the most difficult person to handle; I believe it is because you developed a perception that ayah and mak love you less. The truth is, ayah and mak gave all the love for us equally and always in presence during our up and down. I remembered how mak has to travel down to Malacca when you were sick and ayah is such a sport, never question what you want to do in life. Certainly, these make me believe that they have all the love for you and always want the best for you. It has come in form of Azizi and they repaid their love by having faith that Azizi completes you.

Honestly, I am scared of losing you. I know you can’t accommodate much of your time for the family anymore. I suppose kak chik, baby and bangchik will miss you the most. How good of you taking care of them, how happy they were when you spent them on cinema and Japanese food and how sweet you could be when you guys were quarreling and reconciled. But we could never be that selfish, couldn’t we? For that, we are accepting abg jiji with open arms into the family. :)

"Pena ini tak mungkin akan berhenti kerana abang rasa masih banyak memori pahit dan manis yang telah kita lalui untuk dinukilkan. Biarlah itu semua terus terpahat dalam sanubari kita dan menguatkan semangat dan tekad kita untuk terus hidup dan menyatukan keluarga… "

Kak ayu,

I could never imagine that we have build a much better brother and sister relationship over these years. Whatever the mistakes, difference and challenge that we have gone through, please bare in mind that you are my sister and always will be…

Selamat Pengantin baru.

we wish you a wonderful and blissful marriage.

picture speak a thousand words.

i just could wish.. one day.