"Aging, weakening leadership some compare to the national government"

Political instability among the macaques of Japan's Mount Takasaki Monkey Land National Park.

And, Rowland must go.

"Many in the queue were even armed with sleeping bags"

Singapore goes ape for gets McDonalds toy monkeys.

And, Rowland must go.

Eoanthropus dawsoni, et al

10 great cases of fraudulent science, including Piltdown man.

And, Rowland must go.

"What if they never leave?’’

Monkey vandals in Mumbai.

And, Rowland must go.

"monkeys are not native to the Korean peninsula"

Seoul's National Folk Museum displays monkey-related antiquities.

And, Rowland must go.

“They are just trying to get by"

Conservation biologist Michael Gavin documents (and makes excuses for) chimpanzees in Uganda and Tanzania eating human children. (Times link, requires registration, or use laexaminer/laexaminer)

Update: Here it is, without the registration hassle.

And, Rowland must go.

"You've got to see the monkey. I love the monkey"

Dallas-area man puts up Christmas decorations, local paper covers it on 12/26.

And, Rowland must go.

"they catch on quickly to most anything so don’t plot to steal their banana cake"

An astrological discourse on the nature of those born in the Year of the Monkey, from the Philippines.

And, Rowland must go.

"All of this is very feng shui, very logical things"

Guam gets hosed down to ring in the Year of the Monkey.

And, Rowland must go.

"Siswi, a dominant female, stole their soap"

UK couple find love among the orangutans.

And, Rowland must go.

"They can disembowel you if you're not careful"

Frisky's Wildlife and Primate Sanctuary helps capture run-away emu in Maryland.

And, Rowland must go.

"She is doing fine now"

Gorilla Glue neither food nor dog food.

And, Rowland must go.

"The farmers attacked police with rocks and hit police buses with metal"

South Korean communists treated to enforced bathing. Lop buri monkey hospital mentioned in an unrelated story later on the page.

And, Rowland must go.

"smell the kangaroo that smells like maple syrup"

The wonders of Florida's "Monkey Jungle" and various other roadside animal parks and wildlife sanctuaries.

And, Rowland must go.

"This does not sound like the Ebola virus"

Zimbabwe has requested South African help with suspected ebola case, meanwhile insisting that it's not ebola, probably.

And, Rowland must go.

meta, meta, meta

I've noted many Hartford Courant articles while looking for Rowland links, but haven't used any of them. Someone else explains why.

And, Rowland must go.

"A polished silver fork dangled from Adams’ right ear"

Hateful dwarf Kucinich gets endorsement from socialist clown Patch Adams who touts his friendship with the UN-appointed Queen of the Chimps.

And, Rowland must go.

"life goes on inside"

North Dakota's Roosevelt Park Zoo closed for the winter.

And, Rowland must go.

"not only in case of dog bites, but also to patients bitten by jackals, monkeys, foxes, cats and even for rat and bat bites"

Hindu Rao Hospital's rabies clinic posts "anti-rabies vaccine is not available here" sign.

And, Rowland must go.

"the only zoo in the world set in redwoods"

California's Sequoia Park Zoo, home of 58-year-old Bill the chimpanzee (a serial feces-flinger), losing zookeeper to retirement.

And, Rowland must go.

"Beck isn't sure how she caught the bug from her chimp pal"

Meanwhile, also at Victoria Falls, cross-species susceptability is played as a human interest filler.

And, Rowland must go.

"the case was still only suspected, not confirmed"

Possible ebola case at Victoria Falls.

And, Rowland must go.

"the review of the zoo's animal care now being carried out by the National Academy of Sciences"

Senator and physician Bill Frist defends the National Zoo.

And, Rowland must go.

"Astrologers see another peaceful year coming"

I predict Malaysian astrologers sadly mistaken.

And, Rowland must go.

The news sites are just recycling old news today

But, thanks to fresh potatoes, another entry for the list on the right, Spanglemonkey.

And, Rowland must go.

"nine candidate primates" - what does this remind me of?

Itozu Zoo visitors choose Japanese macaque as Year of the Monkey mascot.

And, Rowland must go.

"Now go watch the monkeys"

Via A Whole Lotta Nothing, Johnny Cash's cover of Desperado, with monkeys.

And, Rowland must go.

"I wanted to surprise people"

Frans de Waal's My Family Album: Thirty Years of Primate Photography

And, Rowland must go.

Ecotourism sphere

Various Japanese groups to save great apes.

And, Rowland must go.

"red faces and rumps have become ubiquitous"

Japan gets ready for the Year of the Monkey.

And, Rowland must go.

"an annoying result of flawed textual exploration"

"Red Peter the Dancing Monkey"

And, Rowland must go.

"At some houses, it might be a monkey"

Cameroon, destination that bleeding heart types want 'taiping four' deported to, a hotbed of bushmeat activity.

And, Rowland must go.

"impudent, imported monkeys"

Australian paper says Russians go crazy for Chinese New Year monkeys.

And, Rowland must go.

"gorilla and polar bear had to be removed from the premises"

9-year-old raises $37k for Fresno's decaying Chaffee Zoo.

And, Rowland must go.

"Brazil is the largest source of wildlife on the global black market"

Amazon wildlife trade hides behind children.

And, Rowland must go.

...and Bruce here teaches logical positivism. And is also in charge of the sheep dip.

Paarl, Australia's Tygerberg Zoo celebrates the first anniversary of the arrival of Emma, the chimpanzee and today's arrival of Emma, the baby kookaburra.

And, Rowland must go.

"South Africa has no native gorillas"

National Council of Societies for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals denies asylum for refugee 'Taiping Four', demands they be deported back to Cameroon.

And, Rowland must go.

"Give ’em a show, cowboy"

The Tommy Lucia Revue features Whiplash The Cowboy Monkey.

And, Rowland must go.

"Must. Have. Monkey Balls."

Apparently, Michele's looking for Monkey Balls.

And, Rowland must go.

"Show me an analyst who's so easy to understand''

Today Show returns to its roots.

And, Rowland must go.

"intoxicated people tend to make bad choices"

Drunken monkeys, drunken worms.

And, Rowland must go.

pygmy marmosets, tarantulas, parrots, poison arrow frogs, lizards and snakes ousted

Scotland's Ama-Zone-ia Rainforest Experience loses lease due to dorky name.

And, Rowland must go.

"The chimp was rushed to the hospital in time"

The Times of India fooled by spoof story of suicide attempt by Michael Jackson's chimpanzee.

"we have info on thousands of ex-zippers in our database"

Trans-Siberian Train presents Monkey Business Shrine.

And, Rowland must go.

Somebody let me know how it turns out

Christmas Zoo Fest at Uganda Wildlife Education Centre.

And, Rowland must go.

"a total sampling is practically impossible in time and space"

European Space Agency to photograph Ebola hotspots.

And, Rowland must go.

Columbus Zoo home to world's first captive born gorilla, Colo, 47 years old today.

And, Rowland must go.

"We didn't think we could do this before"

Herpes treatement being tested. Monkey cells are the growth medium.

And, Rowland must go.

"The entry fee will rise to $9.95 for people ages 12 to 59"

Louisville Zoo to increase admission cost.

And, Rowland must go.

Check your Amish Tech Support Dead Pool picks

Harold von Braunhut, marketer of Amazing Sea Monkeys, dead at 77.

And, Rowland must go.

"It was blond"

Himalayan hike story enhanced with tale of Yeti.

And, Rowland must go.

"Evolution has tried to destroy the truth"

European creationists, and worse, convene to swap lies and nod sagely.

And, Rowland must go.

"the mother showed no maternal instinct"

Johannesburg Zoo adds baby baboon, others.

And, Rowland must go.

"could date back to the time when early humans began eating more meat"

Scientists say 'chimpanzees and humans might be even more similar were it not for what researchers call "lifestyle" changes'. The curious case of the Queen of the Chimps is not explained.

And, Rowland must go.

"I will go next month to Washington to discuss the potentials of the Batang Gadis forest"

North Sumatra to declare Batang Gadis forest a national park next month. "The forest is home to a variety of rare species like the Sumatran orangutan, Sumatran tiger, Sumatran rhino, Sumatran elephant and monkeys, said officials."

And, Rowland must go.

"both a blessed and cursed existence"

The Hanuman langur monkeys of Jodhpurin India, Warriors of the Monkey God.

And, Rowland must go.

The Postman Always Vomits Twice

When he discovers a rotting monkey carcass.

And, Rowland must go.

"discontinue all programmes to entertain children"

Sri Lankan anti-human elements applaud cancellation of pony rides.

And, Rowland must go.

"which give off a slight odour"

Elephant dung Christmas cards. Don't tell Rudy!

And, Rowland must go.

"rich, multi-cultural heritage"

USPS to complete Lunar New Year series with release of Year of the Monkey stamp.

And, Rowland must go.

Surrender Monkeys: "Nix to Nazo"

France bans stuffed monkey: offensive to schizophrenics.

Via LGF, Saudi Arabia bans all stuffed toys.

And, Rowland must go.

PETA's not going to like this

Ghana takes an interest in "Sustainable Bushmeat Trade".

And, Rowland must go.

"Ugandans are famous for being very friendly and hospitable"

Uganda should emphasise gorilla tracking, other features to attract more tourists.

And, Rowland must go.

"Ouch"

The Economist says: a chimpanzee wouldn't yank out the hair from its genital regions, and neither should you.

And, Rowland must go.

"shots of him wearing a diaper and sleeping in a crib"

PETA mad at Hugh Hefner over macaque.

And, Rowland must go.

"Houses would become more affordable as fewer people bid on them"

Providence Journal columnist Froma Harrop calls for human extinction.

And, Rowland must go.

"Temperatures are expected to hover in the 50s and low 60s for the next few days"

Florida temperatures plummet, heaters deployed for monkeys, other zoo inmates.

And, Rowland must go.

Like coals to Newcastle

Delhi Zoo to get new female lion-tailed macaque. "Found primarily in the evergreen forests of the Western Ghats they feed on banana, gram, green leaves and seasonal fruits." Just a homonym, I guess.

"the two paintings have not been recovered"

Dutch prosecutors announce the detention of "The Monkey"'s (or "ape"'s) accomplice, who apparently hasn't earned a colorful moniker yet.

"There are now no active cases of Ebola in the Congo Republic"

WHO says nobody's died in two weeks, ebola outbreak's done, nothing to see here, move along. But warned the deadly virus could return, perhaps striking a major city.

it's a boy

Louisville Zoo sexes their new gorilla.

"Activities include special feedings of the Komodo dragon"

From December 20, 2003 through January 2, 2004, free admission for anyone 13 and younger to Pittsburgh Zoo & PPG Aquarium, thanks to Citizens Bank of Pennsylvania & Giant Eagle. Kids can help Zoo employees wrap the gorilla gift boxes.

"dangerous international delinquent"

International art thief "The Monkey" nabbed in Spain.

Update: or else he's called the ape, and also Octave D. They're not making international thieves the way they used to.

"Who's going to pay for it?''

Fast-growing, more accurate, flu vaccine techniques, including growing the vaccine on African green monkey kidney cells said to be hampered by regulatory, financial hurdles.

"It goes against human dignity"

Reuters in a quandary. Look ma, no scare quotes.

"I'm going to be a doctor and a pundit"

Florida Hindus honor monkey god.

"sad event that none of us expected and none of us could have prevented either"

One orangutan kills another at zoo in Slovakia.

"I was so angry at the way the U.N. was trashed by the Bush administration"

Queen of the Chimps guzzles espresso, cultivates personality cult.

Open Wide, Monkeyboy!

Yes!

Update: "The tyrant is a prisoner," Bremer said.

Zoning commission must be real pushovers

Florida's Center for Captive Chimpanzee Care, a pie well-fingered by the Queen of the Chimps, to open doors to another 266 former research chimps, begin building invincible chimp army.

"Some scientists have questioned their work"

Sympathetic Telegraph article on the eccentric Siddles and their Chimfunshi Wildlife Orphanage, home to 100 chimps. "there is a 98 per cent match between the genes of humans and chimps"

Year of the Monkey tchotchkes

Hong Kong offers philatelists "a propitious souvenir for the Lunar New Year".

"We all want to see safe drugs and cures to human diseases, but"

Now the anti-vivisectionists point the finger at Germany. Queen of the Chimps muscles in to have her say.

"Criticism of the theory of evolution does not translate into another theory"

Intellegent Design advocates use statistics. charts, and graphs to try to lull Montanans into believing their big lie with mixed success.

Us, but not necessarily the French

"Hearing and smell may separate us from chimps".

Queen of the Chimps enslaves little school kids

Wilsonville OR elementary students make compost. "Kennedy will probably discuss the remaining issues after the holidays with a group of six fourth-graders from three classes who attended the Roots and Shoots Conference in October with chimpanzee researcher Jane Goodall."

"They kind of laughed and said that's just the way it is"

More trouble at National Zoo: colobus dead, cheetah infected, vermin run rampant. Leptospirosis.

Operation Give news

Scripps Howard moves Chief Wiggles story along with others. Starting to show up in your local newspaper.

He'll feel right at home, I'm sure

Dian Fossey Gorilla Fund to award Ted Turner at the UN.

Now we can build our own from scratch!

NIH releases initial draft of chimpanzee genome.

"leaving a fecal deposit on her head"

Monkeys make bad pets.

"a dubious and illogical offer from South Africa was apparently accepted"

International intrigue in the disposition of four western lowland gorillas.

Coming next: dung shui

Zookeepers act as enablers for monkey-house stinkers. "The Denver Zoo is believed to be one of the first to try it on animals."

More barn doors due to be locked, securely

Rare-animal theft ring caught in Japan.

99 percent genetically identical and so on

Swedes demand release of chimp caught in tangled web of misfeasance, malfeasance, and nonfeasance. Also, orangutan boxing.

"commended the people of Boabeng-Fiema for co-habiting with the monkeys"

Ghana to construct clinic for people, tourist center at Boabeng-Fiema, home of monkey sanctuary.

"The mom is being a great mom"

All's well with Louisville's new baby gorilla.

Gravity's next

Montana I.D. advocates have their say.

"the percentage of people developing the disease after coming into contact with an infected person was also rising"

Congo ebola outbreak death count now at 29.

"Bulago is just four miles from Ngamba Island, which is home to the jewel in the crown of Uganda's wildlife, the Chimpanzee"

Uganda's vacation hotspot, Bulago Island.

Good for the goose

Lying Liars.

Positive Results

Press release reporting results in trials of drug to reduce immune system damage in radiation therapy and chemotherapy. Rhesus macaques were tested.

Coincidence?

Hindustan Times reports that number of monkeys in Jharkhand increasing while other wildlife declining.

Shiny!

Canadian mint produces Year of the Monkey rounds.

"human trials on an inactivated SARS vaccine could begin as early as next January"

Monkey trials of SARS vaccine continue to be encouraging.

"Zoo officials said the tests were not done because the veterinarians were busy"

The conclusion of Washington Post's coverage of problems at the National Zoo. Sidebar on staffing problems here.

"Some people also have ethical objections to the rearing of humanized animals as organ factories"

Engineered pig organs survive in monkeys.

"You know, I may have said her liver looks funny to me."

Washington Post alleges pattern of mistakes, altered veterinary records in deaths of 23 animals at the National Zoo in the past six years.

"Do you think that humans are more brutal than chimps?"

Fawning Japan Times interview for latest idoru, Queen of the Chimps.

Disturbing referrers

Not disturbing, unless it's a motto.

Disturbing referrers

You don't want one.

"At the premiere of King Kong I wasn't too impressed"

Behind-the-screen details on 1933 King Kong.

Ask them when they're not hungry, and be ready to duck

Food handouts at Hanuman festival attract locals regardless of religion. Says temple priest Avadhbihari, "ask any poor Muslim or a poor Hindu and he would say that god is the same despite his many names."

"Coming soon: Refrigeration!"

Via /., the Bar Monkey.

Update: GPL'd alternative.

Boh Ada Ummph!

Malaysia's Boh Plantations tea company sponsors www.orangutan.com.

“The whole thing was geared toward developing knowledge of Japanese culture”

Air Force dependants at Yokota West Elementary School watch performing monkey troupe.

OK, we got the barn door locked good now

Franklin Park Zoo to reopen gorilla exhibit, minus Little Joe and cohort Okie.

Congratulations JoJo and Makari!

Louisville gets a new gorilla.

"They genetically altered an adenovirus"

SARS vaccine trials called encouraging.

Disturbing referrers

+china +"monkey brain" +eating

Was he looking for details, or recipes?

"dozens of macaque monkey skulls were still available in a market across the border "

Thailand acts against illegal wildlife trade, conservation groups garner headlines by approving.

"Woodland Park's primates now living in meticulously designed natural habitats"

Seattle's Woodland Park Zoo demolishes its Primate House.

"47 cases have been identified of Ebola"

Congo Ebola outbreak death count rises to 26.

"As serious as Baeckler's claims are, there is no video, audiotape or witnesses to support them"

Malibu's Amazing Animal Actors alleged to engage in monkey abuse.

"heredity has a surprisingly important impact"

“Similarities in Affiliation and Aggression Between Cross-Fostered Rhesus Macaque Females and Their Biological Mothers” published.

Your tax dollars at work

Looking to get in the news, Putnam Co., NY went on record supporting a section of the Americans with Disabilities Act, even if it means monkeys in supermarkets. "Putnam Legislator Sam Oliverio doesn't know of any disabled person in Putnam having a service monkey. But he wants the county's laws to be ready in case someone goes into a store with a monkey."

Isn't this, umm, already the law?

"traditional holiday scenes"

Palm Springs conservation park "holiday" display includes a gorilla family as part of 250,000 twinkling lights.

Festive.

"they're harder to catch than your regular domesticated pets"

Lop Buri Zoo opens Thailand's first monkey hospital.

Update: more.

"But not everyone is happy"

Pretoria Zoo to get four western lowland gorillas who've done some travelling.

"There will be no roof, no walls, no ceiling"

Australia's Mogo Zoo to give two new chimps "a 9,000 square metre home, surrounded by a moat rather than a cage."

Life after monkeys

From "High Fashion Week in Moscow", the ass bra.

Year of the Monkey starts Jan 22

Don't forget to stock up on festive Communist ingots. "They didn't rule out the possibility that some people would maliciously rush to buy the gold bars for investment purposes. To prevent from this situation, the officials said their company has required the gold bar producer to increase the supply."

Of Interest to Online Monkeys

Chiquita Brands International (one of the largest banana producers in the world) will hold its second annual analyst and investor day on Tuesday, Dec. 16, 2003. The presentation will be accessible remotely by telephone or over the Internet.

I admit it, it's been a couple of slow monkey news days

Surrender monkeys in the news.

Good news for monkeys in Cameroon!

Cameroon to subsidize bananas, plantains.

"The program includes a visit from one of the zoo's lemurs"

San Francisco Zoo to shed light on lemurs.

Don't complain to me when they expect the same tomorrow!

Thai town feasts 3,000 monkeys.

Non-Monkey News

The 2004 Amish Tech Support Dead Pool is now accepting rosters.

"It's expected that more than 200 chimpanzees will eventually be located at Chimp Haven"

Chimp Haven builder named.

Stitches, stud-monkey

Launceston City Park makes monkeys the old-fashioned way.

"the EU Banana Regime"

Politically correct bananas.

"I just can't wait to see them running through the trees"

Parks at Chehaw in Georgia readying lemur exhibit.

Fingers crossed

"Human trials for spinal cord regeneration, which could begin next year"

"Zoos are required by law to provide enrichment activities for the animals each day"

At Sequoia Park, serial feces-flinger Bill, at 58 the world's oldest chimp, gets Thanksgiving dinner.

"I can't wait to see me a chimp"

Construction activities begin for Chimp Haven, home for retired experimental chimps. AARC demands veterinary drug benefit.

'rhesus monkeys and a bottlenose dolphin chose "I'm not sure" with virtually the same frequency as humans'

Behaviorists torment monkeys, dolphins with logic problems.

"In 1998, police raided Get Stuffed, a taxidermy store"

UK takes steps against sellers of prohibited animal products.

Cynocephalus variegatus

Singapore researcher finds endangered flying lemurs are, in fact, thriving. Story doesn't mention that they're not lemurs.

"the corporation monkey catcher went to catch the monkey"

Now Indian monkeys are recruiting allies among other orders.

"Frozen watermelon will top the menu"

Melbourne Zoo's birthday gorilla.

"When Sasha roars, she scares the neighbors"

Tyro, N.C. neighbors of durned old lioness lady upset at what she has in the backyard. Security system is detailed, along with the rest of the critters. She has a monkey.

"it falls to us, in the Western world, to change the course of history"

"Charlotte Uhlenbroek is set to be the new face of wildlife programmes on the BBC."

More.

"McDonald's and M&M also participated"

China recycles phone books for special friend, the Queen of the Chimps.

"none of this is demonstrable in any highly convincing way"

Primatologists declare in behavior, phylogeny recapitulates ontogeny. Others scoff.

"it is definitely better to be a trichromat"

Monkey-vision.

"Monkeys live surprisingly long lives"

University of South Alabama Primate Research Lab.

"It's not a big deal for me"

In a reciprocal fosterage deal, English entrepreneur and conservationist Damian Aspinall will hand over his least favorite offspring to be raised by gorillas.

"an unseen attacker has injured six thoroughbred horses and a goat"

Dangerous Monkey Man causes panic near Prime Ministers home, says Hindustan Times.

Bad news for crab-eating macaques

Meanwhile, Taiwan says work on SARS vaccine continues apace.

And those scary libertarians, them as well

Antivivisectionists decry approval of Cambridge center for monkey research, demand center for Tory research, instead.

We're from the U.N. and we're here to help

U.N.'s Great Apes Survival Project says Ebola is finishing off the great apes, plans to spend $90 million of US money to build well-managed forestry concessions, sustainable agriculture, and integrated ecotourism programs, as well as to bolster conservation enforcement in six central African nations.

Meanwhile UNESCO wants at least $25 million for similar work.

"a group of hunters ate a dead boar they found in the forest"

Death toll in Congo Ebola outbreak rises to 18.

"largest wildlife trafficking ever uncovered in China"

China busts macaque trafficers.

“Jonas Salk didn't know why his vaccine worked, either”

Vical begins Phase I human trials of Ebola vaccine.

We're going to the zoo, zoo, zoo

Chicago's Lincoln Park Zoo hires ad agency to tout redesigned Ape Center.

"they said monkeys weren't their delicacy"

Ugandan farmers hope to make a cash crop of local monkey pests.

Goodbye, Snowflake

Snowflake dies.

Update: Euthanized.

Big Monkey

Links and such for Peter Jackson's King Kong, due to start filming in 2005.

Nycticebus coucang

Slow loris, thought to be near-extinct in Bangladesh, found there.

"People often wake in the morning to the noise of monkeys making havoc on the roof"

Indian authorities plan to sterilise monkeys infesting Shimla tourist resort.

"hundreds of thousands of young people around the world, can break through these walls"

Young minions of Queen of the Chimps do her bidding. Heute Schimpansen, morgen die Welt?

"There are more than 4,000 animals at the Bronx Zoo"

The Bronx Zoo as a travel destination. Gorillas, monkeys are seen.

"a display of arrogant disregard for public opinion"

Cambridge gets approval for monkey brain research lab. Activists protest that human, monkey brains different, call for human brain research lab.

"He feels his boycott of the conference may have had some effect"

Gibraltar monkey researcher incensed that Gibraltar kills over 40% of his subjects.

Sew what?

Collecting the sock monkey.

"no good evidence showing that animals possess a theory of mind"

University of Pennsylvania fraternity uses monkey lecturer to polish image. "We are trying to bring intellectualization to the Greek system."

"to make the monkey dance, you must first give him a banana"

Chi Chi Rodriguez

In short hops, apparently

UK pair plan pole-to-pole-to-pole helicopter flight. "The pilots will make 160 stopovers on their journey to spotlight the conservation work of the World Wildlife Fund. During their stopover in Rio, they planned to visit a program to save the endangered golden lion tamarin monkey"

Monkeys in the blogs

At A Small Victory, The birds, the bees and monkeys.

Ook ook, preciousss

Gollum rumored to become King Kong.

A gorilla who'll be with ya

Experts testing to determine if Rwandan gorilla-napping victim is of boring lowland or exciting mountain type.

"Our priority is the quality of what little life remains"

Snowflake expected to die within days.

"Bill is also known by visitors to get angry and throw feces"

California's Sequoia Park Zoo, home of 57-year-old Bill the chimpanzee, to get facelift.

Quick, Henry! The Flit!

Venezuelan capuchins reported to use millipedes as mosquito repellant.

Bushmeat eaters said to be fed up

East African conservation groups "up in arms" over US Fish and Wildlife Service interpretation of Endangered Species Act which, they complain, "provides poor countries with no incentive to protect dying species." It's our job to stop them before they eat the last gorilla, apparently.

These aren't the chimps you're looking for

Kenya Wildlife Service denies that six new chimpanzees at Sweetwaters Sanctuary could have been exposed to ebola. "In any case, haemorrhagic fevers are not commonly found in chimpanzees."

"rough sun-baked paths strewn with carabao dung"

Childhood among the guerrillas during the Japanese occupation of the Philippines is fondly recalled. "The monkey salivated at the prospect of the rich feast of lice in the girl's hair".

My money's on the rabbit

"Group: Rare snail and rabbit now racing toward extinction". Monkeys are mentioned.

But not necessarily sociable

Leakey Foundation says baboons are social.

"Modern zoos are filled with animal advocates"

Franklin Park zookeeper John Linehan has his say.

Speculation that reported Florida escapee may be descendant of 1930's Tarzan extras.

"Adam, 48, who has been re-admitted to a mental hospital, is believed to be unaware of EMI’s decision."

Adam Ant's charity gorilla song will not be released following legal threat by EMI.

"His family emigrated to the United States when he was a child"

Romania to honor native son Weissmuller with plaque.

"It's hard to get people to donate money for fixing asphalt."

Fresno's Chaffee Zoological Gardens in dire straits.

'Cause nobody else'll have them?

How, why baboons socialize.

"In about 500 or 600 years, no one will have third molars," he said.

Forensic anthropologist teaches North Carolina elementary students about crime scene investigation and skeletal health. Human, chimpanzee, and gorilla skulls were displayed.

Butchers of the Congo turn attention to the medical arts

Give a Belgian scientist a supply of AIDS drugs, he gives them to banana plants.

"up to 65 years unless they die through unnatural causes"

Ghanaian monkey sanctuary home to aging monkeys. Founder calls for "health facilities, places of convenience, social amenities" and road improvements to bring in the tourists.

"accused India of buying votes"

New Delhi awarded 2010 Commonwealth Games. Canadians outraged. Monkeys are not expected to compete. Expected by humans. What monkeys expect, no man can say.

"who stuck her hand into the animal's pen"

Brookfield Zoo in Illinois, site of heartwarming 1996 gorilla/injured child incident, today site of idiot bitten by wolf, wolf was killed, incident.

Jan in a Pan!

Buzzworthy report on So you're dead. now what? includes details on monkey head transplants.

News from Congo, time to change vacation plans

It is ebola.

"one person had a leopard and a chimpanzee for sale"

Las Vegas a hotspot for exotic wildlife trade.

And now they're demanding suffrage

New Delhi continues to not address its increasing monkey problem.

"baboons needed as many as 7,000 tries before they could perform the tests with 80 percent accuracy"

Researchers declare baboons not as stupid as had been thought. Took a lot of trying, though.

"Guinean Forest of West Africa Hotspot"

Liberia takes steps to protect chimpanzee population.

"indication that post-exposure prophylaxis might work"

Researchers at Fort Detrick successful at proof of concept for hantavirus vaccine. Monkeys were tested, provided antibodies for hamsters.

"We don't have the smoking gun"

Piltdown hoaxer exposed. Sorta.

Round up the usual lawn ornament suspects!

New Jersey fiberglass monkey swiped.

"A circus without animals is not a circus"

German Greens up to no good. As usual.

It takes two gorillas

NewScientist.com will say a captive female gorilla has been spotted teaching her daughter how to tend to her newborn.

"10 per cent of the monkey population was destroyed"

Malaysia moves monkeys. With prejudice.

Round and round we go

Macro-evolution makes a comeback. Monkeyflowers (but not monkeys) are mentioned.

What comes after Hollywood Squares?

Former Monkees drummer to appear in Disney Aida.

"they have a stunning appearance"

Edinburgh Zoo gets three gelada baboons. Some pictures here.

Softly, softly

Indian zookeeper lures male monkeys with female monkeys. Luring female monkeys is not discussed.

Educational, ook

PBS to produce their own, educational, animated Curious George.

"second trained monkey to be called Jiro"

Jiro, the comic monkey, dies.

"Imagine if France were to invade Germany now"

Biological roots of war are inconclusively discussed and dismissed. Monkey references are prominent. I'm still imagining.

"several carloads of students came out here and saw something"

Oklahoma Bigfoot advocate gets air time.

Chimps to purchase Nukes from Norks!

Queen of the Chimps visits Korea to tout book, promote anti-human agenda.

"All those animal-world people keep telling us that the gorillas won't cope"

British Upper Class Loony evicts seven gorillas from family zoo, deports them to Gabon.

He'll see that you pays!

Canadian philostopher-with-a-job mocks Brights. A monkey is mentioned, peripherally.

Indonesian suggests India solve their monkey problem by putting them in camps. Let's keep an eye on Indonesia.

Cogito, ergo ook ook

Tribune of India reviews state of speaking monkeys. MonkeyWatch view: on the one hand, the evidence is weak. On the other hand, Noam Chomsky's skeptical, and agreeing with him's always a poor bet. The smart monkey's lying low for now.

Soon we'll all be knee deep in test tube monkeys!

We know why monkeys are difficult to clone, we know how to get around it, now we just have to make it pay.

Bad news for the sedentary

Reuters reports "exercise good for brain, too." Monkeys were tested.

Buh-bye!

TV's latest Tarzan to explore new career options.

Unhand that beast!

Gorilla-napping scheme thwarted in Rwanda.

You don't need this book, you're already annoying.

Malingerer turns author, touts "How to Monkey with Telemarketers (and all other phone pests.)"

Punkin'

North Carolina Zoo inmates will be smashing pumpkins and devouring them for amusement of visitors. Well, and for a snack. That too.

"Goodall’s next project could be observing banana behavior"

Queen of the chimps ineffectively dissed in Oregon letter to the editor.

I'm no biologist, but I don't think that's a goose

Home zoo discovered in Texas.

Meet "Rainbeau" and friends

Los Angeles Zoo begins Mandrill breeding program.

Elbow room

Detroit Zoological Institute opens more spacious chimp exhibit.

"operating a charity without a zoning exception"

Maryland backyard animal sanctuary barred from keeping exotics.

Goodbye, Max

San Diego Zoo gorilla Max dies during medical exam. Shades of Rocky.

"victims displayed symptoms of a haemorrhagic fever"

Ebola outbreak suspected in Congo.

Creationist Crapfest

Piltdown fraud anniversary, ICR apologist Duane Gish (a man with a bit of a history,) touts ICR products.

Meta, meta, meta

A slow day in monkeywatching. But look, a Google hit on "monkey feces" in the referer log.

"Karl Rove, the organ grinder to Bush’s monkey"

Say it often enough, loudly enough and shrilly enough, and it's almost as if it were true.

"Human and primate alike got wet"

Monkeys at Omaha's Henry Doorly Zoo resist being brought in for the Winter.

Mood organ

Researchers flee Yale for Vanderbilt, fool monkeys, humans.

Queen of the Chimps deemed Museum-worthy

Georgia museum spills the beans. Chimp queen dowdified, "This incredible exhibit...can answer...the questions that will be raised (by visitors)...and...it's brilliant!" Ellipses not mine.

I don't want to know his idea of a date

Burning garbage to generate power is "comparable to alluring a monkey to take a short walk for getting a banana, eventually only to trap it to death."

Authorities recommend panic

This is how it begins: portions of New Delhi overrun with monkeys... powerlines down...government buildings ransacked...best efforts of scientists, armed with screechy machines, to no avail...Rumsfeld remains mum...simian overlords welcomed...appeasement movement gains international support...treehuggers blame civilization, recommend return to caves, trees.

Bad news for monkeys!

California "vintner" touting banana wines to China. "A feature of the wines is the labels"

I'm ready for my closeup, Mr. DeMille

Queen of the Chimps on the big screen.

"protection against infectious diseases to newborns in developing countries"

And this is why animal research, on balance, is an acceptable thing. And it's what won't happen if PETA and their co-religionists have their way.

Good news for Caribbean monkeys

EUnuchs to tax their citizens to encourage inefficient, expensive Jamaican banana farming. Efficient Jamaican banana farmers out of luck.

Cure for cancer, bah!

Costs soar for Cambridge University's medical research laboratory. Monkeys, anti-human activists celebrate.

I think I'm a baboon, therefore I am

Team of psychologists declare baboons capable of abstract thought.

If it's not you that stinks, and it's not me that stinks...

Reports of skunk ape in Tennessee bring skunk ape-seeking tourism to Tennessee.

Philippine monkey-eating eagle is the country’s national bird

"The Philippine eagle feeds on flying lemurs, squirrels, snakes, civet cats, hornbills, bats, and monkeys." And Lileks buys cebus for them?

"and then the monster simply disappeared"

"Professional" "ghost" "buster" (look ma, I'm Reuters) complains job not as glamorous as seen on TV.

"there is no such science as hominology"

Tibetan source relays Moscow News article on Yeti. Or Meti.

Dispatch from the Phillipines

Piglet born with face of monkey

Advance warning

Queen of the Chimps to visit Children's Conference on the Environment at Connecticut College next July. Don't believe what she says, kids.

Nawww, it's a plant that looks like an Orangutan hand

Oregon exotic plant dealer charged with selling Orangutan parts, etc.

Hey kid, monkeys eat paste

Colorado 5-year old thinks he's a monkey, climbs tree.

"We don’t care if it’s a snake or a gorilla"

Illinois sheriff takes control of local Animal Control facility, announces moratorium on euthanasia.

When headlines and stories collide

OK, so how much of this article is really about "Outlawed pets for sale on 'net"?

How about arboreal jellyfish?

Illinois columnist calls for ideas for tourist-attracting alternative to bigfoot.

Ook ook yourself. Now curtsy!

Queen of the Chimps on Queen's birthday honors list.

'Cause fiberglass cows are so, ya know, done

Indiana countryside littered with fiberglass chimps

"researchers were successful in training the females to dispense urine samples"

San Diego Zoo touts success in lion-tailed macaque reproduction effort.

Well, this could be fun

French scientist speculates that Myanmar fossil may be footbone from common ancestor of all anthropoids. Leakey clan calling in favors.

Update: more

New Age Orangutan

Denver zookeeper/aromatherapist stinks up the monkeyhouse.

"This man is a menace to the world"

Unemployed Saddam hireling mocks his betters.

Repeat offender

Kansas trucker cited (hire a copy editor) for animal neglect, again, for keeping chimp caged in parked semi cab.

Trail of evidence

University of Tennessee researcher to test Mystery Dung.

Game Preserves being used as hunting grounds

Bushmeat crisis stories from Congo and Kenya.

It's two, two, two columns in one

Is it news, or is it unpaid advertising for Orangutan Appeal UK?

Who'd he call?

Monkey steals cell-phone from visitor to Chinese zoo.

"She greeted the crowd with an authentic chimpanzee call"

Queen of the Chimps amuses Florida college crowd with party tricks, calls for fuzzy-minded one-worldism.

"we come across some strange hairs, and a pile of dry dung"

Writer goes exploring in Uganda, learns about empty lake, empty caves, and gorillas he missed seeing by a few days.

Ooh, Bei Bei

China unveils mascot and logo for the 2004 Asian Cup.

'Cause sharing office space with the gorilla was getting old.

New digs planned for Dubai Zoo.

Kids, be careful. UK police confirm:

You are not Tarzan. (Also, don't play with grand-dad's forklift.)

Mark, Mark, they're conducting horrible medical experiments!

Canadian researchers to conduct monkey trials of prospective SARS vaccine this fall. That's, like, in a year? This is news?

"We are definitely one of the leading groups. I don't want to say we'll be the first, but we're definitely the leading edge." Somebody look at me!!!

“If the lemur jumps on Dave’s head, that’s good entertainment”

Iowa's Niabi Zoo to provide talent for Jack Hanna's Nov. 12 Letterman appearance.

Nosey!

Australian travel agents on busman's holiday to Brunei. A monkey is expected to be seen.

I thought you said Shave the Gorilla. Never mind.

Via A Small Victory, Adam Ant sings about Gorillas

'Cause the apes in Torquay are so common

Suffolk woman raises £2,740 for the Orangutan Foundation UK, is rewarded with a week with the apes in Borneo.

"Placyk will collect feces and hair samples"

University of Tennessee biologist uses logic, common sense to address local mystery ape questions, hedges bets.

"the ape was very weak when it was born"

Fresno's Chaffee Zoo gets a new baby gibbon.

A conversation piece, I guess

"What the hell is that thing?"

"Why, that's my orangutan skull. Like it?"

"Ummm"

David Attenborough gets a fleet rate

Uganda considers raising ticket price to track chimps.

$4 million during the next few years

Duke University to better accommodate monkeys.

The red mouth ought to be a dead giveaway!

Madhya Pradesh, India betel-nut dealers plagued troubled by violent, thieving addicted monkey.

Paging Mr. Santayana, Mr. George Santayana

Franklin Park Zoo plans further escapades of Little Joe.

Scrum this!

English rugby player writes "what I did on my summer vacation" travel column about trip to Grenada, finds room to badmouth US, President Reagan.

With a photo that isn't it!

Whether or not it's a now recaptured pet, publicity-seeking nutjob who hasn't seen it declares the Tennessee critter to be a skunk ape.

State of Washington puts more chimps on welfare

Cle Elum to host Chimpanzee Retirement Sanctuary Northwest

"Deputies plan to interview the man to make sure that his monkey was the one on the loose"

Tennessee mystery creature may be this escapee, now recaptured.

Tranzi reign of terror to visit Boca Raton

Queen of the Chimps uses foundation-funded celebrity to blame all world's problems on humans, Western culture. "If everybody acquired the standard of living the average American has, we'd need four more planets."

monkey population on course to outnumber humans

Indian state of Himachal Pradesh plans to sterilize teeming "delinquent" wild urban monkeys.

"It's probably a big dog"

Rural Pennsylvanians have been reporting a mysterious escapee, mothman, or chimera for years. And still are.

little Mogly

German escapee captured in Bremen old people's home.

"Neither department had a tranquilizer gun"

More local coverage of Stamford, CT chimp.

Update: more. Note to UT Veterinary School primate expert Dr. Edward Ramsey, quoted in previous post: "Travis runs his own bath water and prefers ice cream, wine from a tall-stemmed glass and filet mignon over bananas." Herbivorous, my ass.

"Virtually every primate is herbivorous"

Expert who hasn't seen it declares Tennessee escapee probably not a chimp, probably not killing cats.
"Odds are, if it killed anything, I don't think it would kill many and it wouldn't kill repeatedly."

Update: A more excitable take on things.

Another thought: Dr Instapundit and Mr. Hyde?

"It also fails the laugh test"

Money-hungry treehuggers report they're confused, frightened by proposed changes to endangered species importation policy, insist only the only thing that can work is more of what hasn't worked.

"I've been to the zoo, but I never thought I'd be chased down the street in Stamford"

Connecticut escapee gives Stamford cops a hard time, is recaptured.

Update: Brief local story with small blurry photo of the entertainment as it occurred.

figuring out how to keep the brain under control

New Haven columnist concerned about implications of Duke robo-monkeys

Linkage

More Monkey-related items added to the permalinks at right.

Somebody sure cut through that fence, all right

Mighty Joe Young's bastard spinoff Valley of Gwangi on DVD.

"I smelled that smell and saw that monkey"

Tennessee escapee on terror spree.

"The lady who ran the place ended up being insane"

OSU junior visits South Africa, confirms what he's been taught to expect.

Soon Bonzo, soon, the world will be ours

Queen of the Chimps continues to use her fame to advocate anti-human tranzi agenda.

Barn door, horse, etc.

Franklin Park Zoo investigating. Jack-booted Agriculture Dept thugs on the case, too. State cops want their own tranquilizer guns, Teddy nervous.

Update: Red Sox to offer manager spot to Little Joe

"planned march through the ancient, monkey-infested town"

Reuters thinks Indian muslims are endangered by Hindus. Cause Islam's the Religion of Peace and such, ya know.

"We don't want any trouble but if there is any violence against us, we may not be able to control retaliation by misguided Muslims,'' Maulana Musannah Miyan, a leading Muslim cleric told a news conference in the city.

I see nothing, nothing!

The wait pays off for gorilla photographer Schulz. (He took a picture of one, not he is one.) (If he is, it doesn't say so.)

Update: another story, this one with the photo.

Oh yeah, the monkey

Remains of long-missing squirrel monkey found in former Kresges in British Columbia.

Coltan, a rare metal used in manufacturing cellphones

Diane Fossey Gorilla Fund says Emmerson Mngangagwa, possible successor to Robert Mugabe, involved in Congo mineral trade, gorilla killing.

Cause who wants to work with live animals, now?

Will Ferrell to voice The Man in the Yellow Hat in upcoming animated feature of Curious George.

Good News for Monkeys

Thailand to Process Bananas in Mbarara

Maybe you could volunteer to take their place, Sunbeam

Alaskan PETA-wannabe can't find anything local to whine about, complains about a chimp in Nevada.

What's your major?

University of Louisiana-Monroe biology major researching whether monkeys learn by watching each other.

A common mistake

"The last time the town of Hartlepool had that many people at a public event was when they unceremoniously hung a monkey because they thought it was a French spy."

I cannot see, look out for me!

Australian scientists hard at work replacing contents of monkey's lens with silicon-based gel. "It will totally change ophthalmic surgery, if we can get it right."

"It's a nice step towards applying this in humans"

Texas scientists transplant ovary into sterile monkey, harvest egg to produce test-tube monkey.

"she controlled the robot arm using only her brain and visual feedback"

Researcher implants monkey so it can play video game without moving.

Canadian Ape

Calgary Zoo touts gorilla exhibit

Ook, ook

Researchers discover that genetic defectives have trouble speaking, invite reporters in.

George Bush bad, scary. Ook.

Queen of the Chimps unmasks, leaves steaming pile of lefty elitism.

Update: "We must not sit still and do nothing." Watch the trees, keep watching the trees.

Monkey Mikey

On the Fritz notes something about the big fibber.

"hot chilli soup with gorilla flesh"

"Monkey meat is real tasty especially if fried well with tomatoes, onions and some garlic.”

"We found a flag pole and a monkey head"

Kids cleaning the river bank in Johnson City, NY find something nasty.

Toonces got nothing on this, baby!

"St. Louis Zoo taught a monkey to master a driving course"

That ought to make for a pleasant lunch

SHARE Home School Group will have a park day at Community Park near the gorilla cage area. Evolving not permitted.

Your Tax Dollars at Work

NSF Funds Study to Simulate Primate Chewing.

No running, kids!

American military base in Japan to remove “Monkey Mountain” from their elementary school playground since it's too dangerous under wussy new rules.

"Kofi Annan appointed Goodall as Messenger of Peace"

Queen of the Chimps takes time from her busy schedule to help indocrinate future Tranzis.

What, no elephant dung?

German "artist" to add gorilla corpse to exhibit of preserved bodies of humans, animals. "Now in Hamburg, it has had long runs in Germany and London, has toured in several countries and more than nine million people have visited it."

There's a Grey-shanked Douc?

Obscure primates face extinction

What are you looking at?

A Western lowland gorilla from Bristol Zoo that has had cataracts since birth has regained full sight following two groundbreaking operations.

What about the Burrowing parrots?

Gorillas are conservation's poster child, but you should feel guilty for not contributing to uglier animals, too.

Bwindi Tourist Visits Up Since May 2000

"Tourist visits to the park dropped sharply after Interahamwe militia attacked Bwindi in March 1999 and killed eight foreign tourists and a park warden." Well, yeah.

Ero primo

Italian mountaineer says he declared that the yeti is really a brown bear before Japanese alpinist did.

You suspected it, didn't you?

Monkeys are laughing at us!

Monkeys on the Web

Via Tim Blair, Famous Monkeys Through History.

And you thought gorillas could be dangerous!

The Department of Agriculture is "investigating the Franklin Park Zoo for possible violations of the animal welfare act."

Sustainable popcorn

Toronto International Environmental Film and Video Festival

The horror

Six people arrested in central Vietnam for killing four endangered monkeys face up to seven years in prison. "A local forest ranger said they were carrying three Phayre's Leaf-monkeys and a Douc Langur monkey as well as a number of weapons and the frozen carcass of a wild boar."

Oh, Drama!

Alaskan high-schooler visits Rwanda, sneaks up on gorillas.

A nice scientist-to-gorilla ratio

"A team of 100 African scientists is counting rare mountain gorillas living in the range straddling Congo, Rwanda and Uganda." "There are believed to be about 670 mountain gorillas living in the wild..."

Update: They'll be counting nests because it's "very difficult to count wild gorillas."

"Animal rights protestors will make their presence felt tomorrow"

Glaziers near Cambridge University expect a windfall.

Then we can just sit back and clip coupons!

Louisiana researcher has monkeys teaching monkeys.

Don't Tell Eisner!

Queen of the Chimps is against chimps in show-biz.

"The Great Conservancy"

Kenya ponders a controversial land grab.

German film researcher interviews retired Hollywood chimp

Cheeta gets visitors.

"No one wants to have a gorilla escape"

Boston Globe reports that Little Joe's flight from Franklin Park Zoo isn't helping Zoo New England's quest for a plusher seat at the tax trough, and that they may be forced to buck up their notably poor attempts to find private money or even do something about controlling costs.

Just Cross to the Other Side of the Street

Another Malaysian youngster suffers a monkey attack.

"looking for donor agencies"

"Project Primate," launched by India's Tripura State, purports to help conserve some fairly obscure primate species.

A little less "self-esteem", a little more "learn to read"

Queen of the chimps teaches Delaware tykes to speak chimp.

Goodbye, Rocky

Arkansas Little Rock Zoo gorilla dead after anesthesitized routine exam.

Well I'll be an Armadillo's Uncle!

Humans share near-identical uninitialized code patch areas with all sorts of critters.

Oh to be in Fresno, now that the Big Fresno Fair's come!

Next year, Poultry & Fowl, this year a diapered capuchin and various other rainforest denizens, diaper status not mentioned.

"It was so not computing."

Vermont wonders "guy in gorilla suit" or "sasquatch"?

Well, who could have predicted that?

New TV Tarzan panned.

"your people will enjoy gorilla viewing which will animate you"

China "gives" Uganda $3.8 million, Uganda promises gorilla watching opportunities.

Gravity's just a theory, too

Minnesota pols look to mandate creationism in the schools.

Someone's tempting fate

Everest climbers visit Boudanath Stupa, belittle Monkey Temple.

Survivors of Lemuria

The Cheese Stands Alone on lemurs.

Painting chimp honored with sculpture

"Sammy, a 25-year-old resident of South Bend's Potawatomi Zoo, has been painting, off and on for the past seven years." As part of their Celebrate the Chimps project, the Zoo commissioned dozens of sculptures of chimps. This one is supposed to be Sammy.

This story includes one of the chimp's works.

Decatur, beware!

Apparent escapee spotted in Arkansas.

"She's our hero"

Queen of the chimps lies about D.U.. asks that attention be diverted from fighting terrorism.

I'd rather die

PETA-symp UK columnist against monkeys in medical research

Gorillas for me but not for thee

PETA-symp Boston columnist wants Little Joe set free.

That's gonna leave a mark

Miami Metrozoo vet bitten by Orangutan.

"The monkeys live in harmony with the people of Boabeng- Fiema"

Boabeng/Fiema is the only village in Ghana and Africa with over two hundred Geoffroy's Pied Colobus and five hundred Campbell's Mona Monkeys. Whether this is a good thing or a bad thing is left to the reader's tastes.

What tranquilizer gun?

History of problems at Franklin Park, allied zoos.

'cause we can't find reverse

Gorilla trekking in Uganda

What crime wave?

UK monkey breeder burgled out of business. Police hoping malefactors turn themselves in.

"Zoo officials said some problems had been fixed"

Inspection finds Washington D.C. National Zoo slumlike.

Neener, neener, neener

Columbus Zoo reminds us that none of their gorillas ever escaped into public areas. I blame Teddy.

Update: They admit they're concerned about the Orangutans, though.

Them or Us!

Harvard Anthropologist predicts extinction of wild Orangutans in 10-20 years, World Wide Fund for Nature calls shenanigans.

Locking the Zoo Door After the Gorilla's Gone

Franklin Park Zoo announces new security measures.

Be Glad it Wasn't Hoss

New York Post plays Boston escape story for laughs.

Update: with small blurry photo of gorilla at bus shelter.

Update: Same photo, I think, cropped wider to show police.

Update: Rantburg's view

What's going on in Boston?

A New Zealand news site reports one person injured by a gorilla, escaped from Franklin Park Zoo, roaming Roxbury. I don't see any more local confirmation, though.

Update: not to be confused with this Franklin Park Zoo escape.

Update: UK Reuters has it

Update: Newsday AP confirms, two injured, and apparently it was Little Joe, the August escapee referenced above.

Update: A few more details.

Yeah, that oughta do it

A Hindu priest performs marriage ceremonies for snakes, fish, lizards, crabs, crows, ducks, parrots, dogs, donkeys, monkeys, cows and horses. Also people. "The marriage ceremony was held for the sake of peace."

"any monkey crossing the road otherwise than by the bridge will be fined"

Thailand builds brachiating bridge.

"If I die it is not going to be from a sudden cardiac arrest"

Wyoming CPR instructors don the traditional gorilla costumes.

Splish Splash

Sock Monkey Goes to Hollywood.

You're harshing our tourism mellow!

Nepalese yeti-mongers outraged by claim that yeti is a bear.

If At First You Don't Succeed

Obsessive North Carolina gardener hopes to get in a banana crop.

Hollywood still out of ideas

Animated feature of Curious George looms.

Bad medicine

Grisly story of Malaysian 5-year old savaged by monkey.

Indonesian Parliament building infested

Perhaps of friend of this one.

"Initial tests date it back to the prehistoric age"

Old bones found in UK gravel pit.

"Goodall will not make an appearance at the film screening"

On the other hand, banana treats will be served prior to the screening.

Paging Tom Ridge

Researchers under attack by terrorists.

Every word, including "the" and "and"

China claims to establish nature reserve to protect golden monkeys.

Another mouth to feed

Louisville Zoo gorilla pregnant.

It's just common sense

Don't drink river water without boiling it, don't eat monkey unless it's well-done.

If there are no eyes, avoid all contact

"The Action Heroine's Handbook" on sasquatch encounters: avoid eye contact.

Great for monkeys, what about people?

Wake Forest researchers develop line of monkey stem cells from gamete, not zygote.

Glenville NY escapee reported

Capuchin on the loose! "Mary Malewicz said, 'Grab his tail. He's prehensile...'"

Update: still missing

I blame Gray Davis

I don't like the look of this!

In your case, I'll make an exception!

Texas I.D. advocates preach to the choir.

Back in the box, Debbie!

Zoo vets inflict Skinnerian behavior mods on their charges.

Monkeys in the Blogs

The Cheese Stands Alone puts an end to idle speculation.

The short end of the stick

Malacca Zoo swaps with Germans.

Bad News for Monkeys!

Hawaiian banana output declines 30%. Banana bunchy top virus remains a concern for growers.

"Rumans said the zoo poses no health risk to humans"

Diagnosis in Topeka Zoo orangutan death: rabbit fever.

$12 million / 12 gorillas

Louisville Zoo wins national award for Gorilla Forest exhibit.

"Then along came eBay"

Cleveland man collects "see no evil" monkeys. Local paper finds it newsworthy.

Your Tax Dollars at Work

Emory University says capuchins want what they see other capuchins get.

"more intelligent than other monkeys of the same size"

Scranton, PA to build "Wildlife Center" full of non-native species. I say it's a zoo, and I say to hell with it!

Update: Curator is durned old bird lady.

"he decided he wanted some bigger primates"

Welsh court says "Sure, go ahead, have as many monkeys as you want."

A cat, a dog, maybe a goldfish?

Don't get a monkey for a pet!

"the monkey poses a safety and health risk"

One and a half months later, Green Bay says no, and means it this time. Bellevue, watch out.

Your Tax Dollars at Work

Duke researchers say monkeys tend to look in the same direction that they see other monkeys look.

"probably only has weeks left to live"

Crowds flock to Barcelona Zoo to watch Snowflake, world's only albino gorilla, die.

"according to a new survey"

Annanova reports that Daydream Believer by The Monkees is Britain's top karaoke tune.

All the loonies together in one spot

Bigfoot believers assemble.

"they said we should catch the monkey"

Serbian escapee located, zoo officials said uninterested.

"far more complicated than a Xerox machine"

Monkey-cloning attempts remain unsuccessful

See the Freaks!

Another of the 650 Britons planning on making a monkey-suited spectacle of themselves.

it still moves

Texas Board of Education is lobbied by friends, foes of science.

Your Tax Dollars at Work

Three year study says male baboons aren't bad parents.

I Don't Even Believe in Jeebus!

Arizona assistant pastor thinks African Eve disproves evolution.

"I have never done any physical exercise before this "

Normally sedentary man to raise money for monkeys by running through London in gorilla suit.

No blogging today

Go here instead

Clumsy!

New Zealand vets repair broken golden lion tamarin. That's one ugly little monkey.

Update: Pictures of the surgery

"He is the 100-pound gorilla sitting in the middle of this debate"

Moonbat Maxine likens the President to a remarkably puny gorilla. Even a chimpanzee can beat 100 pounds!

Do You Want to Touch my Monkey?

A woman in Germany has been driven out of her marital bed by a jealous pet monkey.

"Image is a huge problem obviously"

Rwanda seeks to restart tourist industry. Never crowded anymore, so they've got that going for them.

3 people dead, though

Colobus monkey recovers from West Nile at Denver Zoo.

Westerns looking better all the time

Lucy Lawless to join cast of new Tarzan series.

All is not well in New Zealand

Auckland Zoo deaths continue.

Filler

Erma Bombeck wannabe reports "Cheetah still not dead. Tarzan, Jane not so lucky."

Greatest Hits

Faced with deadline, columnist reports on 1923 Ape-Man On The Loose column

Let them eat cane rats!

Zoological Society of London to encourage consumption of less photogenic Bushmeat species.

Tie a string to a banana, that'll do it

Idaho high-schoolers tempt fate, attempt to attract noted monkey lady.

You could go unnoticed in such a place

"'Donde esta el mono?" Travel writer visits monkeys in Nicaragua.

Now what'll the tourists watch?

Wayan Limbak, originator of Ketjak, dead at 106.

Loss of face

No results reported yet in yeti search

Something stinks!

Florida PBS squanders money to produce "skunk ape" special.

Trouble in Kansas

Sick orangutans at Topeka Zoo reported improving.

Update: Better, but not well

"strange things like this tend to happen in Norfolk"

UK escapees still on the loose.

Update: Hopes fade in monkey search

"The supposed bottle of MDMA was already empty, but some frozen monkey brains left over from the study remained"

MDMA brain-damage study flawed.

Kenyan State House infestation resolved

They've moved some of them next door. The rest got jobs in research!

"They're nobody's pet"

Idaho trainer thinks of chimps as family

Update: more

Just don't name him Bruce

Melbourne zoo has new baby orang-utan.

Those aren't chocolate chips

Monkey Muffins: when you can't think of a brandname that isn't disturbing.

"various clubs make nightlife in Monkey village very exciting"

Nigeria's "Monkey village" now without monkeys.

"We don't have hard figures to prove how effective it is"

Sendai Municipal Government officials sponsor "monkey forecast."

"wild monkeys do not have bosses"

Asahi Shimbun seeks link between leadership of local monkey troop and of the nation.

Cold Turkey

Chilean circus chimp repatriated.

Slander!

King of the monkey-haters Frank J badmouthed at Wizbang!

"if you chance upon a gorilla, crouch down, and bow your head as though praying"

"If there is a common element to adventure in Africa, it is the excitement that comes from facing the maw."

Now that's appetizing

Monkee-themed restaurant in Virginia.

It's all over but the shrieking

Man, monkeys doomed, scientists journalists say.

Update: cover-up begins!

"allows a monkey to move a remote robot arm just by thinking of doing it"

Amplified monkeys, from the folks who really invented the Internet.

"Monkey fights are not uncommon"

Tales of the zoo veterinarian

Johannesburg escapee captured

Still, wash all produce before eating.

"they are obviously not welcomed by others living in the neighbourhood"

And you thought the durned old bird lady was a nuisance.

"They scampered like lizards out across the beach"

Via Tiger: Raggin' & Rantin', a tale of the Island of the Chimps. Don't go there.

Ghana prepares to celebrate

Happy World Tourism Day, mind you don't step in the dung.

It's not "autopsy" unless the surgeon will also be a gorilla

Gorilla dead after brief illness.

"they tend to live in small groups"

Congo pygmies sing. Remember, more bushmeat for you means less subsistence for them.

Even commoners can be eccentric now

UK couple opt for gorilla-themed wedding.

"I am absolutely ruling it out"

Senator Clinton denies she will seek Presidential candidacy, is likened to 800-pound gorilla.

We Need More Monkeys!

Via War Liberal, the National Institutes of Health are paying for an attempt to clone monkeys.

He Keeps Looking at Me!

1933: Dr. W.N. Kellogg brought up a baby chimpanzee in the company of his own small son, who was very nearly the same age. "Honey, Junior's brachiating again, and that damned chimp just beshat the rug!"

Actors as Politicians

Man who played a monkey elected to Indian Parliament.

"Zoo Atlanta Goes Ape Over 'Caesar'"

I think he looks more like Nero than Julius.

Update: He's named Caesar because he was born by C-section.

"mixing gorilla funk with wart hogs and hippopotamuses"

A day trip you won't soon forget.

"an act featuring Sean Paul and Frankie the Monkey"

Princeton, Minnesota parents beware: the school board has something simian waiting for your children.

"The unexpected danger came in the form of wild monkeys"

They're the worst kind

Escapees in the UK

A pair of them, it seems.

Update: still on the loose.

Update: They might be marmosets.

Hah! Just wait till you see what a couple of silverbacks can do to your nice B&B!

"Gorilla-Based Eco-tourism Planned for Trans Boundary Park"

Off-topic

But more important than the rest of this foolishness.

"the most charismatic of all wildlife species"

Malaysia comes out against orang-utan (hyphen's back) extinction.

"Forty-five minutes later the dish arrived"

Not only does Belgium, self-proclaimed conscience of the world, have a hankerin' for bushmeat, but the service is really terrible.

You realize, of course, that this means woah!

Elite Force Aviator: George W Bush doll introduced in UK, BBC hunts up Mark "the usual moonbat" Morford to compare the President to a monkey.

Chimp Dead at Nancy Zoo

Yew clippings, who knew?

"African parks should not exclude people's needs"

No gorilla advocate ever stands so tall as when he stoops to help a pygmy.

You say Cameroon, I say Cameroun

Nigeria and Cameroon to cooperate.

Idaho beware!

"The only chimpanzee show in the United States" and you're getting it.

"Lowell was out of his cage and wrapped around his legs"

Zookeeper's helper is introduced to a hyphenless orangutan.

How about "The Fighting Surrender-Monkeys?"

World Wide Monkey® seeks dupes for publicity stunt