Where you been lady?

Do you remember the children's book, Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No good, Very Bad Day by Judith Viorst? It seems that poor Alexander just can't catch a break as we follow him through his day that is peppered with one negative or inconvenient event after another, leaving him wishing he could just "move to Australia". Well, I haven't moved to Australia + all of the events of late have not been negative ones... well, long story longer, here's the last couple of weeks in review...Since I'm now finished with work at the college for the summer, I decided to join a gym. Exercising at home in the playroom was getting tougher in the warmer weather, and honestly, I was looking foward to taking advantage of the free daycare the gym offered. I began running and my knee began to feel a little sore...then the opposite ankle {likely because I was overcompenstaing for the knee} started to bother me a bit. I'm still going to the gym + my ailments are ailing me less as I get stronger, however, I can help but think of that expression: No good deed goes unpunished? Yeah, slight injury as a reward for trying to get healthy was a bit of a headache {among other aches} for a couple of weeks there...
Then right around this same time that I was first gym'ing it up, I realized that I had not yet started on the preparations for the Fif's birthday party {this upcomming Sunday!}. Having a couple of boys {+ knowing how they "party"}, I really look foward to planning + throwing the Fif's beautiful, sweet, girlie parties each year. Knowing that these days are numbered + that my baby girl will not always allow me the creative carte blanche I enjoy now, I've had to plan, order + craft with haste to bring this years Honey Bee Birthday Party to life. More on that this week... Planning + preparing a party for 12 little folk in your home isn't the worlds most difficult task, however this is not the only event that has been about of late. In the last two weeks, my Tinest of Guys cut his 2 top teeth + began WALKING, the Fif has been finishing up the little classes she attends and in addition to my Big Guy finishing up the school year, I've been scrambling to help the Monks catch up on his requirements for his Bobcat + Tiger badges so he can get said badges at the last meeting before Scouts breaks for the summer. That's not including the 4 birthday parties + a few bbq's we've been invited to attend along the way. Phew! Right around now, I'm feeling mighty grateful that I am done with work for the year...

And speaking of work, during the last weeks, a couple of different college teaching opportunities have reached my ears. Both positions sounded closer to full time {although I'm not exactly sure how FT is defined in terms of hours} + would mean close to an hour commute each way. With all that has been going on, you might think I was completely mad to even consider either of the positions. However, those of you who stay at home {or those working smaller PT jobs} and are living on a shoe string budget {like we do!} know how alluring the idea of another income can be! I'm torn between trying to squeeze in one more year as a SAHMama/adjunct professor + just taking the plunge into one of these jobs and making it work. I'm wondering whether {literally} doubling our income and alleviating many a financial worry will actually make me a better mama than the slightly financially anxious SAHMama I can be at times now? And finances aside, after years of schooling, gosh, how incredibly fufilling it would be to be able to build my resume with this kind of experience! Yet I wonder, will the hours I'm away from home be long + childcare too expensive for it to be worth it...or will the FT/ heavier adjunct teaching load be based on classes taught {not hours per se} and work rather seamlessly into our lives? So many things to consider. I've been reworking my resume to send out and will have to let the universe point me in the right direction on this one..

And last but not least, the icing on the proverbial cake...sunburn. With very little littles, I've spent most of my beach time under an umbrella the last couple of summers. This year, all 3 of my kiddos are on the move, so I thought it might behoove me to get a bit of a body base tan {I always do alot of sunscreen on this freckled face...if not a hat as well}. And what is the expression: "If you can't loose it, Tan It!" I have to admit that I was slightly enamored with the idea of seeing a slightly slimmer me a bit less pasty in the tummy + leg regions. So after being sorely spoiled by a week of PERFECT spring like weather {2 weeks ago now}, it was followed by a week of rain...straight rain. When the sun finally came out again it was instant summerand so I thought I might lay out in my back yard? Growing up, my Irish heritage gave me some cute sunny freckles + my Italian heritage has always done me right when it came to a nice summertime tan. But alas, the sun we have now is a very different sun than the one I grew up with. After just a small window of time in said deamon sun, I had managed to burn the back side of my body so feircely that I was actually sick from it! {Yeah, I think that is called SUN POISONING} I'm usually wonderful about the sunscreen having kiddos + caring for my own tattoos...I just don't know what I was thinking! I suppose some lessons need to be learned the hard way? So right about know in the story, Iceland {forget Australia!} is looking like a really great place to disappear to! I don't like being off my "A-Game" with a sore knee or a sunburn. I don't like being unsure about what the next move should be in terms of these working opportunities; a decision that would mean a big change in the life we've been used to living for many years. I don't like feeling rushed when it comes to doing things that I really enjoy + want to give my full attention to, like planning a party. And I don't like that all of this was likely compounded by the fact that I was deluded into thinking that just because I was done with teaching, that there was some break of sorts on the horizon? Silly Rabbit...

But what I really don't like is being negative. It's good to remember what Alexander's Mama tells him in the story I mentioned earlier, "some days {or in my case, weeks} are like that {slightly inconvenient}...even in Australia". Truth be told, I have what I like to call, "White Collar Problems"... I mean, instead of being bummed about a sore knee or not having as much time as I'd like to plan a party, I'm grateful that I can even afford to pay the dues to go to a gym and to buy all of what I want to to throw a party. Instead of stressing about work opportunities, I'm grateful to even have such options, especially in an economy where so many are without work. My family is healthy + safe. We have a lovely home to live in + good food to eat. I know that life gets much more complicated than this, but I think reminding ourselves of the basics; the things that we really can't live without, well, it can recenter us...ME. Because in the end, all things work out...atleast in these instances I mentioned above. I have been offered another class for the fall semester where I currently teach and have a meeting with another college with the possibility of teaching a class or two with them. This scenario would be just about PERFECT. My sunburn is all better + my knee is feeling good. I ran my first 6mi. in 60 min. in, oh, 5 years!?! Yes, I have brought 3 lives into this world, yet I am totally STOKED over my success with running...? And last but not least, everything is comming together bee-utifully for the Fif's Bee-Day Soiree this weekend. I'm putting together a sneak-peek post for tomorrow + will share the big day next week.

I'm betting that a few of you can relate? Well, chin up friends, things have a way of working out! Wishing you all wonderful things!

xo.

In like a Lion, out like a Lamb: Our March Family Vacation

Well...it's not quite a family spring vacation.Vacation weeks at my Mister's job are picked based on seniority, with most "school + holiday vacations" being the hardest to get. More often than not, when he has a week of vacation it is business as usual for the rest of us {...plus whatever house project we might have chosen to work on that season}. Ah, but not this vacation! No, friday night this mama came down with the headache/sore throat/nightsweats, which proceeded to get worse with each day. On day THREE of being couch bound with a most horrible sore throat, I finally agreed to go to the Dr.'s.

Strep Throat it is! And a most vicious case at that! I was so disappointed to not be able to attend the lecture by The Front Yard Farmer I had planned on attending this past Saturday...and I have been feeling super guilty about having my Mister outside transplanting bushes + preparing our own "front yard farm" {aka: this season's project} pretty much solo. However, I don't know if it is the pain medication I am currently taking or the aundance of carbs I've been allowing myself {...after sweating off about 6lbs in my sleep this weekend, bring on the home made bread baby!}, but I suddenly felt really centered this afternoon. The sun was very warm + bright on this rather cold March afternoon and as it poured in through what seemed like every window in our home, I felt so peaceful...grateful for this time I was forced to take to sit + do absolutely nothing...except for knit! The babe was napping, the older 2 kiddos were outside helping daddy with farm perparations + there was bread baking in the oven. Gosh, it really doesn't get much better than that!*************

Ofcourse, just seconds later, someone slammed a door, waking up said babe...and there was some yelling by daddy about dirt on the floor, the bread not comming out right...and something about a Nintendo DS not being played. Hey, nothing stays perfect forever...but I am ever so happy to have been present to recognize that little moment for just how wonderful it was. I thought, "how silly it is that it takes me being sick + in SO much pain to get me to just sit on the couch?" Many a "Stay-cation" have gone by, leaving me feeling less relaxed than before they started...but I think there has been a lesson learned for this mama. SLOW DOWN. {Sure, the bread + percocets really help with that...} However, I think fors, the expression "In like a Lion, out like a Lamb" applies better to the shift in our family's mental state of being this month than it does to the weather. I'm so happy with the direction this change in seasons is taking us... hoping you + yours are all healthy, safe + happy!

xo.

Famous Last Words: My Mister always teases me for saying this when I find something to be completely absurd or ridiculous...

Last Friday it was a bit over 80 degrees... and today, I woke up to this.

"Really? Really, REALLY??"

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Oh, Mother Nature, what a trixter you are! Here's to starting one's day off with a laugh!

xo.

Confirmation Season

I believe we have officially entered the confirmation/first communion making season. Last weekend was my little sister in law's confirmation. I wanted ever so badly for it to be warm + spring like, but alas, I knew that the warmth of the sun could only keep the chilly temps in check for so long. So this was what I had come up with to wear... An adorable offwhite ruffled top with peach polka dots {very summery, but because it is lined, it is better suited for spring}, off white cardigan {Both tops found at Marshall's}, Navy Blue Corduroy slacks {Old Navy}...and ofcourse, my signature red patent leather ballet flats. I have to say that I think even with the corduroy, all that off white + ruffles on top really said, "Bring on Spring!"

On another note, this gathering was bittter sweet one. This youngest sister in law of mine whose confirmation we were celebrating is my Mister's half sister from when his father remarried. It is unfortunate that we don't see them more frequently, but all the same, I consider her my sister in law + her mother, my mother in law. That brings me to the bitter, we recently found out that my mother in law is very ill. Long story longer, while she had been in remission for 10 years, her body is now being attacked with a vengance. I don't think I was fully prepared to see her so changed... She has always been one tough woman, personality wise that is. To see her in this vulnerable way, I was just rattled, which isn't a easy to do. Not all that long ago it seemed that my Mister + I were in the phase of life where everyone was getting married, then it was baby time...I wondered, have we now entered into this period of our life that involves illness + loss like this?

The party was a wonderful success. I don't know if it was a bit of denial or the powerful sense of hope flooding the restaurant which allowed us to all come together to celebrate, eat + laugh. Maybe a it was a bit of both? I hope you'll excuse me for keeping this post on the short side. I'm not one to try to jump on the bandwagon of grief which rightfully belongs to those who are much closer to her {my StepMIL} than I am. I find myself feeling intensely grateful right now. There are times when one has a young family like we do, that things can be a little tough at times with the demands of a house, finanaces + juggling the needs of small kiddos. However, this situation: being faced with the illness of a loved one who is so young + who has a young daughter {tween as she may be}, certainly has my priorities right where they should be. Even on the worst of days, I am so comforted to know that my littles + Mister{...and I myself} are healthy, safe...and pretty happy too. I am one lucky lady. My prayers and buckets full of hope will be with J. while we wait to see what will be what.

xo.

Coned

I was going through some photos and I came across this fun little something sweet that I made for a playgroup last week. I know I have mentioned my "little ward" {the 11 yr old little neighbor girl of mine who I watch during the week when her mom is working?} Well, last week it was her "Gotcha Day"; she was adopted from Russia and the "Gotcha Day" is the adoptive date which many families will celebrate almost like a birthday. So I decided to try out these cupcakes- in- a- cone. There are lots of different ways to make them, but I just made the cake batter, poured it directly into the upright cones + baked for about 20 min. They turned out to be such a fun playgroup treat because of how self contained they were without all of the messy crumbs typical of regular cupcakes.

This post is kind of bittersweet because last week was my "little ward's" last week of being with us. Her mother had been let go from her job and no longer needed her to be with us. It is a scary economy to be unemployed in, but the mother was quite unhappy where she was, so in a way I am happy {?} for her + hopeful that she finds something better.

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I have to admit though, that there were some times since September when I thought I might have bitten off more than I could chew, having another older {often kind of needy} child in my home every day {in addition to my 3 littles}. However, since her mom worked such long hours in the city, she was with us each morning before school + each afternoon until past dinner; she had become part of the family! In the end, I did feel bad about how everything ended {emotionally...and when it came to finances, as I was paid for my "little ward's" care}. But mostly because the change was so abrupt! Life has carried on in usual whirlwind style for us since Tuesday when this all went down {...although in many ways, life has also been much calmer too!} But every now + then I can't help but think that this all must have been quite hard on this little girl, who went from being a part of a big family with a mom+dad, pseudo siblings...even a dog to, well, not. I know it seems perhaps a bit more dramatic when I say it like that, afterall, this little girl + her mom only live right across the street form us. However it is the drastic + sudden change in routine her routine, that has me hoping that this transition goes smoothly for her.
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Change can throw you off balance a bit, especially when it is sudden...especially for someone like me who is SO routine oriented. But I do believe {and have experienced time and again} that everything happens for a reason {even if we don't realize it right away} AND that when one window closes, there is usually another that opens. And that is most certainly the case now! However that is another post for another time...

xo.

When it rains, it pours.

While I know I had said it might be tough for me to fit in time to write as often I would like while the semester is starting back up...well, I never imagined it would be this long in between posts! I have a whole new respect for those working mamas of multiple children {like me-self} that manage to type blog posts so regularly! Because the truth is, while we might have the best of intentions, life can easily get away from us...and while I am not so vain as to think that anyone would be "oh so interested" in every little detail of my life...well, I thought that perhaps some of you have been in my shoes + might chuckle to read what my last week was like.

Prologue: This week was a bit sucky before it even began as this time every year = MONEY {i.e.: BIG car insurance payment due + Years worth of homeowners Insurance due up front}.
** le vomit **

Monday began like any other: slightly chaotic as we began a 6 day work week for my mister and full week of school for the littles. In addition to the other expenses, the Monks had broken {beyond repair} his glasses while sleigh riding over the weekend...and of course his frames had been discontinued + the warranty had expired, so that meant a whole new eye exam/ glasses purchase {gulp, SO EXPENSIVE!}...LOVELY! After teaching class over at the college that Monday, my clan ended up heading to one of my BFF's for an impromptu playgroup...which, incidentally, ended in a trip to the ER for me + the Monks. Apparently there was a Kung Fu lesson taking place in the playroom that resulted in 5 stitches to the eyebrow...via a headbutt to a knee. This was our family's first major injury type episode/ ER trip...not my favorite way to begin the week, but we survived.

Mid week offered us an ice storm...I suppose mother nature decided to mix it up a bit and give us a change from the massive amounts of snow we have had this winter. This wintery mix really did nothing to help us find our rhythm during the mid-week, so in between delayed openings at school, lectures to prepare and shopping to be done for a PTO Dinner Dance that Friday night...well, need I say more?

I have to say that the PTO Chance Auction "Dinner Dance/ Fundraiser" was more fun than I expected it to be! I really had a blast getting all dolled up, "semi-prom-meets-cocktail party" style. Unfortunately, just as the night was comming to a close, we recieved a call from my Mum saying that our smallest of guys, the baby Liamb, was getting sick! We rushed right home {hence, why there aren't any pics of me in this beautiful outfit!!} That night we got about 3 hours of sleep {in 20 minute intervals}...and spent the rest of the weekend trying to recoup what we had missed out on.

As it turned out, the baby Liamb wasn't puking due to a virus, but rather to the teeth that are bursting through his gums with a vengence. He was {IS!} miserable and has spent every chance he can get curled up on my chest with his tush in the air like a cat! Needless to say, the weekend was rather uneventful. Well, it was uneventful for me...my poor Mister got stuck picking up all the slack, as only a Mama would do for the little tooth boy.

So while this clan is usually {knock on wood} a pretty healthy + sturdy lot, we were chock full of injury and illness this week. Oh, I almost forgot, just for fun, I fell on said ICE right outside our back door on Sunday...HARD! My iced coffee went flying + I froze in pain, crouched like a cat, just yelping becasue I had smash landed my knee into our icey brick back patio. It was not as bad as I thought, although I did manage to scrape my kee though my jeans. I did start to tear up later when I realized that my fall had initiated the tiniest of pulls in my favorite jeans...which will most likely develop into a whopping WHOLe... in my favorite jeans.

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So that's the week in review. The Monk's stitches are out, my knee felt well enough to exercise on + the baby Liamb is smushy, but not crying or puking...so I guess that is a plus! Please, tell me I'm not the only Mama who has had a week as psychotic + non-stop as this one! While the saying often seems to uber-cliche, it is so true that when it rains, it pours! But you know, if this is the worst of it, then I guess I don't have THaT much to complain about. So far, our week has started out pretty nicely... however, I'm looking foward to some warm sun {thanks groundhog!!}, some healthy livin'...and a whole bunch of more regular posts on this here blog that I have missed so much!!

Wishing everyone lots of GOOD!

xo.

My Big Boobs

First, let me apologize if the title of this post has offended anyone's delicate sensibilities. But the truth still remains, I have big boobs. No, really people, BIG. But similar to finding the perfect outfits to conceal my tattoos when neccessary, over the years I have also become a conosur of bras that keep my bits + bobs where I want them . You know why, because when not under lock + key, my boobs DO make me look fat. I swear everytime I was pregnant, people knew immediately because my boobs would swell + even in normal clothing, I would look like I was wearing a corset style push up bra. By my due date, when I was sitting, I could practically rest my chin on my cleavage...

Go ahead + laugh, it really is rather funny. But you know, it wasn't funny being a kid with boobs. And it wasn't so fun when I was dying to wear a certain kind of bathing suit, that looked SMOKIN', by the way...all except for the non adjustable straps that had my boobs sagging somewhere around rib cage level. True, there have been many an outfit that I have bypassed because it just wouldn't be flattering while doning the strapless bra that would be required.

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However, after many a trail and error, I had found the perfect bra! The Bali Minimizer #3364. It held you in in all the right places, without giving you pointy Madonna- cone- boobs. Some of you might be snickering at me, thinking, "yeah right, this gal doesn't know what big boobs are". You are not the first to have been decieved, my friends! We are talking 32D over here...the bra was just THAT GOOD.And sadly, you might also be thinking, "She just used the past tense in that last statment?..." Yes my friends, I did. Bali has discontinued my bra + I am horrified! I have negelcted buying new ones for a while and now am kicking myself, for had I known, I would have bought up whatever I could find! Alas, before I would begin my quest for my new perfect bra, I decided it was necessary to write an email to Bali, telling them how they RUINED MY LIFE! No, just kidding. But I did tell them that they should bring the Bra #3364 back + that while I was scouring the internet for the bra, I came accross many ladies who were feeling my pain over #3364. And wouldn't you know, I got a response! Surely an automated response via email, but a response all the same.

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You know, it felt good to be moved by something that is close to my heart {no punn intended} and to take the time make these feelings known. So often, it can be easy to think, "Oh, well, I'm just one person, what differnce can I make?" But the truth is that we can make differences, by writing letters and supporting products we agree with by buying them + not giving money to those products which we do not agree with. But most of all, even if they never bring back bra #3364, I feel like I atleast tried to do something. So while I won't be burning any of my bras, I certainly feel empowered + will continue to write and believe that everyone opinions should be regarded as worthy contributions.

chemistry + tea

I've spent the last 36 hours like this; in a teacup, trying to fight off this cold. Yesterday, I let my class leave after only 40 minutes {of a 2.5 hour class}, as I started to sweat when I tried to project my voice to read the powerpoint presentation I was giving on Classical Conditioning.
My voice was almost gone, my chest was tight, the one side of my nose was running profusely and my right eye had begun to tick a bit. Lovely. Happy Birthday, Alison.

I had to try not to get ahead of myself and get all depressed thinking that my birthday outing to NYC for dinner + a play tonight with my Mister would be ruined because I was feeling sick. I can get a little dramatically negative nelly like that sometimes. But alas, better living through chemistry proved out. I submerged myself in a steamy cup of Theraflu and am feeling much better than yesterday {no sweating, no hallucinations, lol} Huzzah! Well enough, infact, that I think if I keep myself resting + parked on the couch today, I will be feeling well enough to enjoy my special Birthday night tonight! Highly medicated on Dayquil, ofcourse.

Keep your fingers crossed for a speedy recovery!

Live and Let Live

My mum has always been one of those people who believed in that quote that "we are not as impotant to everyone else as we think we are"?...or something like that. And it was never meant to be self deprecating, just realistic. Like when I'd be worried about what to wear to an event, she would say, "alison, while this is very important to you, everyone else will not be worried about what you are wearing...they are worrying about themselves! I know you'll look beautiful in whatever you wear"

But I've always kind of stood out in a crowd, for one reason or another. And while I've tried my darndest to believe this quote, I feel like I have been proven wrong time and again. Like this week for example. A year after the drama that hurt my heart more than anyone can imagine and shook my little world to the ground, I decided to embark on a bit of a cathartic, albeit silly creative writing project. Many may not know this, but I actually only know about 10 of the "friends" who follow this blog...the rest of you, I am proud to say are "new friends"; people I have never met, but who have read me + have supported me. My posts were never intended to be read by anyone I knew in real life {who was not already aware of the story...or any story for that matter}. It was a life preserver for someone I don't know yet; someone who might have been suffering through their own "mean girls" experience, and after reading a post, might suddenly not feel as alone as I have?

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However, this week I was tipped off to a 3rd group of readers: Foes. I do not believe myself to be that self important and would never have dreamed that the people who made their dislike for me so plainly apparent, who neither speak to me nor look in my direction when they see me out, would be stalking my little blog! I do not advertise this site to townsfolk and told no one about my "creative writing project", so I can only deduct that every so often one {or all few?} of my "biggest fans" will slink over to see what I've been writing about. I can only imagine the frenzy of phone calls, emails and jaw flapping that my posts stirred up.

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But here is the thing, I kind of feel skeeved out. It is as if I just found out some pervert has been spying on me during private moments. I know this is a public blog on the www., but c'mon, what purpose could any of my "biggest fans" have for comming here? It's not like you'd accidentally happen across it! I don't involve myself where I am clearly not welcome, why can they not do the same? This only serves to illustrate exactly how disgusting the situation is. And ofcourse, the timing is always impeccable with these things. After a long week, "four" kids, a career with a preformance evaluation yesterday during my 8am lecture to prepare for, this was just the icing on the cake. When the news broke, I was furious... and also afraid of what form reatiliation would end up taking. I yelled and I cried. Would I ever just be left alone?

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Sadly, I need to apologize for not continuing with the creative writing project....but after this post, I don't think I need to. Part of me feels defeated; that for all of the "growing + changing" I've talked about doing in this space, I am still very intimidated by this group of women. However, on the other hand, I have managed to create a nice life over the last year, inspite of all of this drama and ill treatment. I look at it as self preservation and I'm not willing to gamble with my own peace of mind, or that of my children. While creative writing may have been nixed, my plan is to stick with my usual topics for a time...and besides, at the moment, I'm too busy talking my mister off of the phone with a realtor to do anything uber creative anyway.

So ladies, friends and foes, at what point can we just grow up and Live and Let Live?

Because I am not going anywhere.

how things are

I can't get over how much things have changed in the last week! {And because typing lacks inflection, let me clarify: that exclamation is not a glazed smile + high pitched, happy voice exclamation, but rather a holy sh*t, I'm almost scared things are so different exclamation!} I have yet to look presentable enough to be photographed this week, spending most of my time at the computer preparing lectures...so these fun vintage betties {some old, some new} will have to do for now while I catch up on life...

** {I didn't have to do this for my first class...no frogs} **
Last week was jumpstarted with me making up a shlew of powerpoints for my lectures {because my access to the college's system was glitched}...in addition to preparing the talking points for the lectures themselves. I did all this is a mad rush last week, through allergy, bloodshot eyes. So when I began my first class on Wednesday, even though I still looked like a member of the Volturi {from Twilight} my powerpoints were done + my 2.5 hour lectures to 35 people {in each class} rocked! I had gotten the Monks off to school on time, picked him up before heading to the college, then buzzed home from my class after teaching to pick up the kids for soccer practice, only to finish off the day with an appearance at my "grandfather-in -law's" 88th birthday get together.
***** Huzzah! *****
As I sat sipping a glass of wine, watching my littles playing with their cousins, silently congratulating myself on a successful, albeit completely insane day, my heart suddenly skipped a beat. Sh*t, I have to do this again tomorrow!

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Ok, well, the line up is not exactly the same, but each day still has it's own element of busy. Still, I have a whole new respect for working parents. I remember feeling "so busy" before I was working, even before I had littles in school. Now I feel like I didn't even know what "so busy" was! Don't get me wrong, I'm not taking anything away from the work full time mama's do, it is just that you have no idea what conforming to a school routine for your kiddos, or what trying to fit in a job does to your already busy day until you are actually doing it. Atleast that is what I am finding now.

*** {Ain't this the truth!} ***

This week I also began taking care of my neighbor's daughter(11) before and after school. My neighbor is a single mom + just recenly got a new job in NYC again after being laid off last year. It is a little crazy, suddenly having 4 children Monday through Friday, but I knew it would be. You see, my mum was a single, working mom + I was an only child, except for when I saw my half brothers {I never say "half"} at my dad's "every other weekend". I think having been on my own as a kid made me want to have a big family...and made me not think twice about offering to care for my neighbor's daughter. I know that my little ward really loves having my kiddos to play with and her mom loves that she will have the structure of a bigger family.

*** {Some days, I really do feel like this!} ***

And with that we are onto another day, another week + so on. I can take a bit of comfort in knowing that once the college work is done, I won't have to do the same kind of preparation for teaching next semester. And while I suddenly find myself with 4 kiddos, I am also finding myself with some extra cash flow each week which is SO NICE! So for now, this is just how things are. I'll do my best to fit in some down days were we won't do much of anything at all...and maybe, eventually, I will even be able to do a painting or two. We'll see? When things seem nuts, I just try to remind myself of what a lucky girl I am, that I have the luxury of having these kinds of busy,"white collar woes". I'm a very lucky girl indeed.
XO.

oh happy day!

Everyone always says that things, {often bad things} happen in three's. During the last couple of weeks my laptop crashed, my fairly new dishwasher began leaking + most recently, the valve on the kitchen faucet broke. Seriously.

I usually embrace the attitude that anything is possible, when you have the right equipment. Like, what's a little snow when you have 4 wheel drive? Or an impromtu event when you have the necessary staples in your wardrobe? It can be easy to take for granted how simple life can be when everything is operating smoothly...until suddenly things aren't moving smoothly + you are using a cup to fill the Brita water container from the bathroom sink.

But alas, in the middle of a rainy, yucky day in what looks like a rainy, yucky week, the universe smiled at me when Fed Ex knocked at my door to bring home my fixed laptop! Oh happy day! I had not heard a word since the old girl had been picked up + my heart raced as I opened the box to boot her up. It's alive! My fingers recognized the keyboard immediately...oh, to right click again! This post took just a few moments to type, only leaving the Fif enough time to grab one handful of spaghetti from last night's dinner to enjoy on the couch. Yeah, still no kithen sink...or dishwasher, but I am one step closer to "smooth". Life is good... although I think my mister will be a little sad to see our shiny borrowed mac go...

randomness

Trying to catch up on life via blog, last week I had thought that Monday, I might post on my busy, fun weekend, complete a with girls night pot luck + a belated birthday dinner for my mister...

Then life threw me a curve ball Thursday when myself + the in-laws entered into the brawl of all brawls, just minutes after arriving for John's birthday pizza night. Let's just say that my in-laws are a family therapist's worst nightmare. Basically, when the Monks told his cousin that "he was not allowed to be wild + run in the house", my mother in law accused me of using the word wild so that Tobin would repeat it; that we had somehow used him mas the middle man for calling his cousin wild. She obviously has way more time on her hands than I do. Long story short, when I addressed it, she began acting like a psycho {which is par for the course} + before I knew it everyone was yelling.
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I'm usually the type to "take the high road" + while the part I played in said fiasco was not one of my finer moments, there was something kind of cathartic about being able to say some of the stuff that I said in the heat of the moment! I'm glad to say that things have sorted out a bit with other family members...but I still feel like I am in the eye of the storm, waiting for what hurricane mother in law is going to throw out next...

During all of the happy happenings this weekend, this drama still hung in my mind. This morning, I had no idea what to write about. No scratch that. I wanted to vent + type several posts worth of every detail of what had transpired, but I hated to start off the week in negative nelly mode... and that is when I saw this post from another blog I follow right at the top of my "reading list". It is about a friendship that this deer made through blogging + how she and her bud finally met in person! These two ladies seem like peas in a pod...and I hope if they do meet up in NJ someday, that I can come too!
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I know I have said it before, but it is not always easy meeting new friends, especially girlfriends...especially when you are married + have littles. I love a happy ending + this happy little story just put the nicest spin on my morning. Sometimes, I will connect random events to help me make the choices I know I should make. I like to think that it was fate that I read this post + that it acted like an espresso shot of optimism. For now, I'm choosing not to think about the mother in law, how pissed off I was or what might be comming down the pike. I'm reminded that there is always a chance to adopt a better attitude, start a fresh new day or build a new friendship. And as doe or deer Jenn said, "it is worth it".

befuddled

It has been way too long now since I have sat down to the computer to type a "real" post; my last couple were in progress and with a bit of patience, I was able to publish them via itouch. I had butterflies in my stomach last night, brimming with excitement about being able to write and catch up on reading some of my favourite blogs, but alas, this has not quite been the case this morning...

This borrowed computer is not the brand that I had been using + everything is so frustratingly different! From the way the screen displays, to the programs; even the keyboard feels different under my fingers {so please, let me apologize for any errors in advance}. Typing this post and tweaking my photograph seemed to take so much more effort than with my old computer + while I am commited to navigationg my way through this brave new world...well, lets just say I hope my old computer is returned to me sooner than later!

As I sat in my frustration this morning, I could not help but think how difficult it must be for older folks to make sense of this technological and ever changing world. If I can be so inconvenienced by a simple change in the compouter I am used to, imagine how others must feel? My mum can recall her father bringing home their first black + white television, and at the moment I am feeling rather badly about the times I have been inpatient with her when she has asked me which of our several remote controls she should use. Imagine how overwhelmed those of the baby boomer generation must feel when they find themselves unemployed and are suddenly faced with the prospect of returning to school + begining a new carreer?

I suppose I could go on + on. Being faced with this inconvenient little change made me think about how fourtunate I am to have so many things go smoothly in my life. While our life is not without it's hurdles, we have so much to be grateful for! I can buy food + clothing; I have appliances that work, a roof that does not leak and my husband gets a paycheck each week. Becasue I do not have to worry about these basic needs, I am able to bring my children to the ocean + the woods, to read books, to write letters, to bake bread. I am so happy to be able to incorporate parts of my grandparent's world into our lives today; and when the world seems ever changing, my littles will have a knowledge of those simplier things; the predictable parts of life that keep us anchored. So today, instead of being carried away by my frustration, I will let it go for another day. I will listen to the rain, bake something delicious + play with my kiddos. I will be more patient with those who are more out of there element than I + be try to be grateful for the inconvenience that got me a thinkin' about what a lucky girl I really am.