Exit Nick

I suppose was too good to be true! In early October, Nick asked if we could go from the dating stage to the relationship stage. And although it was going a bit fast I said yes. And then we had three months in which I greatly enjoyed having a man by my side. Someone to go on adventures with! Someone to wake up next to! Someone with whom to do mundane things such as food shopping, but together. And he claimed to enjoy it too. The only gripe he had was that he said I was being overly kind to him, if I for instance bought him a bara brith, because I know he likes them.

But then he wasn't keen on seeing me on New Year's Eve. That didn't ring the alarm; he must have had his reasons. If something was wrong he would have brought it up, right? But then a few days later he didn't text me at all, the entire day. When I couldn't sleep I just thought I'd see if he might have texted me since I had gone to bed. And he had. And in that message he basically broke up with me because he said it wasn't working out for him. And that was it! One message of a few lines, and the whole relationship was null and void.

It was a punch in the face. What sort of bollocks is this? If he doesn't want to be with me he shouldn't be with me, but at his age he should have the maturity to flag up with me in person if things are not going the way he wants to. I suppose he doesn't like to bring people bad news, but I was really disappointed that he dealt with that by maximising the pain for me and minimising it for himself. I thought he was a better man. But I'm clearly a bad judge of character. 

I suppose this isn't a repeat of what happened with Dave; Dave turned cold after two lovely months, but then spent two further months stone cold denying that anything was wrong, even though he knew damn well it was. Only when he couldn't run away anymore on the Llŷn peninsula did he admit to the scale of the problem. I suppose that was even worse. (Time has also revealed that when he claimed he would be interested in any sort of friendship, he wasn't entirely honest.) So Nick might not have been quite that bad, but still, well below par.

So what now? Well, I have a life to get on with. I'm getting on with it. I sent Nick back his now useless birthday present. And I have reinstated my dating profiles. Has online dating brought me anything good? No. But could it potentially do so in the future? Well yes, I suppose it could. I know I have something to lose; I could have done without these two chaps stomping into and out of my life. And by continuing with it, I run the risk that it will happen again. But it is still possible to gain something. So I’m persevering.