MMB

Wednesday, November 7, 2012

Reavers at Counseling

So, Today was a very very interesting day.  

Wait, wait, back up.  

So Monday was a very very interesting day.  I worked an hour late and then I prepared to work from home Tuesday. I was carrying my rolly, and its kind of heavy, and I was super tired, so I forgot that the buses switch places an hour later than my normal run, so I got on the bus to Suqualmish instead of Poulsbo. 
  I didn't realize I was on the wrong bus until ( in complete darkness) I got off the bus in totally unfamiliar territory.  Luckily I read the park and ride sign and figured it out and  used the phone a friend option.  In addition, at this same time I got a call from my Counselor that he needed to reschedule my appointment permanently to a new day. Usually we meet on Tuesday, but he just moved to a new building this week, so we would need to change it to Wednesday if possible because the new place his scheduling wont include Tuesdays. He shares an office.  
  Any way, so I was a complete mess at this point because everything seemed to be going wrong. I made a few phone calls and straightened everything out, and then I called my friend I was going to have Family Home Evening with to cancel because I was emotionally exhausted. Instead I got her boyfriend promising me free food, and that my friend was fixing everyone's bad days, so if I just came over it would all be good. He did not lie, and I am happy I went.....
       Now on to today.

So, Today was a very very interesting day. I only went to one wrong building when trying to find my new place for counseling. Slightly disoriented me I think, because I couldn't remember anything I  had wanted to talk about by the time I got there. So we randomly hit on things that happened over the last week, until it came up about my strange and intense dreams, nightmares and other stuff I've had through out my life. Usually more frequent with stress and a lack of sleep.   
    One of my other friends experiences something similar called Hypnagogic hallucinations. There are also Hypnopompic hallucinations that happen right as you are transitioning to waking up. I believe the later is what happens with me, but we aren't really sure yet. So today at therapy we spent most the time talking about these crazy between being in a dream and being awake things I have. 

 And this is where my counselors knowledge of Firefly/ Serenity  came in handy.  "have you seen Firefly? do you know what Reavers are?" I started..  He did. "well, one time dreamed they were coming out of my wall, and I was awake but not awake, and I thought it was real until I woke up completely and then walked over (terrified) and turned on the light."  I have no doubt that this will take some more hours to figure out. Especially since I couldn't remember the word of what my friend told me these dream/ hallucinations are until after counseling when I texted to ask her.  
  Apart from one really vivid crazy  but not really scary one of these dream things  (no reavers this time)  I had  last week, I haven't had them since last February when I was having pretty extreme troubles sleeping, so hopefully it doesn't start up again, or we can figure it out so I don't have to deal with them.  But you never know when a knowledge of Firefly will come in handy, so watch and make sure you are well versed no matter your profession.

I know I am getting stressed right now because, well I got on the wrong bus Monday, but today I  missed my exit on the way home. My brain is disconnecting right now, which happens when I get stressed, I forget everything, I just go straight to auto pilot. Saturday I forgot super Saturday and i have been looking forward to it  for a while.  The dream last week, My eating habits, everything is pointing to me needing to handle some stress a little better. Well, I am aware at least, so that's a start.   Hello, My name is Mandi and I am slightly stressed out right now, and you would be too if Reavers showed up at your counseling session.

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