Sticky Thoughts and Mindfulness Practice

Sitting, meditating on the breath, or the body, or another object, one gets a chance to become intimate with the mind. Sometimes, all is well, and there is peace, and moments of total ease with the present moment. More often, though, the mind is playing one of its favorite numbers, either wandering, or perseverating with troubling thoughts. The latter is the most difficult to deal with, and requires another medicine besides meditation.

Adapted from the root teaching on The Removal of Distracting Thoughts, are some clear instructions:

We are to reflect on the distracting thoughts. This is a different activity than meditation, and one that complements it. This reflection follows a five step process.

1) Substitution

When unskillful thoughts arise, one should, in order to get rid of them, reflect on a different object which is connected with skillful thoughts. For example, if one is overcome with thoughts of self-loathing, one can try to practice loving kindness, wishing oneself well. 

2) Reflection on cause and effect 

If the unskillful thoughts continue to arise, one should ponder on the disadvantages of unskillful thoughts. What effect do these thoughts have on me? How much misery is created as a result? How does it feel in the body, and in the mind? 

3) Distraction

If the unskillful thoughts continue to arise, one should endeavor to turn one's attention and reflection away from those thoughts. 

4) Investigation of the source

If unskillful thoughts continue to arise, one should reflect on the removal of the (thought) source of those unskillful thoughts. 

5) Forceful removal

If unskillful thoughts continue to arise, one should restrain, subdue and beat down the negative mind with the good mind. 

Closer to us, contemporary Vipassana teachers are dispensing similar teachings.

From U Tejaniya, in Awareness Alone is Not Enough, a teaching about difficult emotions that can also be applied to unskillful thoughts:

When trying to deal with an emotion you can ask yourself  four questions. 

1) First question: “When I am having this emotion, does it make my body and mind feel good or bad?” Does it feel pleasant or unpleasant? If you recognize the emotion every time it arises, and also recognize whether it feels pleasant or unpleasant in body and mind, the mind will start wondering whether it is worth having this emotion. Eventually your mind will realize that it does not have to live with this emotion. Once you know that something does not feel good, are you just going to keep indulging in it?

2) Second question: “What is the emotion about, what is it directed towards?” 

3) Third question: “Why am I having this emotion?” 

4) Fourth question: “Is having this emotion necessary or unnecessary?”

These questions support the practice because they create interest and encourage us to use our intelligence. The moment we get a real answer, when the mind really sees something, it lets go.

From Ayya Khema, in When the Iron Eagle Flies:

"What you could do at such time would be contemplation. Sit down where nobody will disturb you, and focus on the pain to find out its cause, why it should have arisen. Do not be satisfied with an answer such as "Because so-and-so said something"- that's only the superficial cause of it. That would have been the trigger, but there's no cause for mental pain unless there's something inside oneself that is reacting to that trigger. It is useful first to find the outer trigger, which is probably well known to you. It could be a sense of futility, anxiety about the future - any kind of trigger is possible."

"Then you need to find in yourself the reason for the reaction creating pain. The reason has to be "I don't want it the way it is." There can be no other."

But why don't we like it the way it is? Usually the answer is "Because my ego is not supported." The bottom line of the whole inquiry is always the "ego", but it's useless to say, "I know it is my ego" and then continue to have the pain. It is useful , however, to go through the whole process of the trigger, the personal reaction, the inquiry into the cause of the reaction and then the understanding that the reaction is our dukkha and not the trigger. I have a formula: "Don't blame the trigger." Never let the mind stay with the trigger; always investigate what and who is reacting. Unless we find the reaction to the trigger in ourselves, we are going to repeat the same performance with the same result over and over again, like a preprogrammed computer printout. Press the same buttons and the same printout appears, until we finally realize that it is nothing but a button being pressed, and that we don't have to have the same printout. We are in a position to be able to stop ourselves.

In the beginning that may be painful because we have to look at ourselves in a new way. We need no have this exaggerated idea of our own worth, nor do we need an exaggerated idea of our nonworth. We can learn just to accept the way things are. Sitting on the pillow at such a time is very good, but trying to meditate is often useless; contemplate instead. The subject of the contemplation is to be: "The cause of mental pain."

And also:

Some [feelings] are pleasant, some are unpleasant, some are neutral, but our reactions don't have to be preplanned, impulsive, instinctive. We can look at them with mindfulness and put the brakes on. Substitution is much easier than just dropping what is in the mind. Although dropping is the perfect way to get rid of clinging, it is more difficult because it is a letting-go aspect. In the beginning, substitution is a necessary response . . . When aversion, rejection, resistance, anger, jealousy, pride, greed, or craving arise within, we can take a moment to look at them mindfully. When we recognize their burdensome impact on us, we understand that we need not continue to let them exist. We can substitute compassion, or the idea that they are not important, or the understanding of impermanence, or corelessness. This is particularly true of anger, which makes life so very unpleasant for oneself and others. When we get angry with a person, we can ask ourselves first of all, "What am I getting angry at? Is it the hair, the nose, the eyes, or what? Am I getting angry at his words? If it is really unpleasant speech, it means the other person is unhappy. "Why should I get angry, then? Why can't I be compassionate?" If we can change our anger to compassion, we will feel good, the other person will feel good, and we will have taken a step forward on our spiritual path.

From Gil Fronsdal:

By sorting through the unwholesome and the wholesome, we can choose to cultivate the wholesome and let go of the unwholesome. If you feel an inclination to be generous, for example, you can choose to water the seed of generosity by following through on that inclination. You may be able to distinguish mean-spirited feelings and choose to let them go. With enough mindfulness and investigation, you can even choose which thoughts to pursue and which to drop. You may be able to recognize when you are thinking along unwholesome lines and choose to think about something more useful.

From Bikkhu Boddhi, in The Noble Eightfold Path, the Way to the End of Suffering:

Since greed and aversion are deeply grounded, they do not yield easily; however, the work of overcoming them is not impossible if an effective strategy is employed. The path devised by the Buddha makes use of an indirect approach: it proceeds by tackling the thoughts to which these defilements give rise. Greed and aversion surface in the form of thoughts, and thus can be eroded by a process of "thought substitution," by replacing them with the thoughts opposed to them. The intention of renunciation provides the remedy to greed. Greed comes to manifestation in thoughts of desire — as sensual, acquisitive, and possessive thoughts. Thoughts of renunciation spring from the wholesome root of non-greed, which they activate whenever they are cultivated. Since contrary thoughts cannot coexist, when thoughts of renunciation are roused, they dislodge thoughts of desire, thus causing non-greed to replace greed. Similarly, the intentions of good will and harmlessness offer the antidote to aversion. Aversion comes to manifestation either in thoughts of ill will — as angry, hostile, or resentful thoughts; or in thoughts of harming — as the impulses to cruelty, aggression, and destruction. Thoughts of good will counter the former outflow of aversion, thoughts of harmlessness the latter outflow, in this way excising the unwholesome root of aversion itself.

Last, borrowing from the Vipassana tradition, and adapted for the Western psychology culture, are cognitive approaches to dysfunctional thoughts, that are now commonly used to treat depression. Cognitive therapy, and Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Therapy (MBCT) recognize the importance of becoming aware of negative thought patterns and approaching them in a way that loosens their grip, eventually leading to more skillful mind habits. 

A Peak Into Their Minds

One of the great privileges of being a psychotherapist involves having a peak into the minds of others. Hearing, seeing their inner suffering, I get to have a confirmation of what I have found in my own mind. The ordinary mind's got millions of ways to torture itself, and transform a perfectly fine moment into pure hell. I learn a lot from my clients. I learn to distrust thoughts even more. That which I think and feel, is a pure product of my imagination, a big cloud that can only be lifted through the suspension of thoughts. Everything else is but a succession of agitating formations, the results of underlying tendencies, long-time habits hard-wired into the brain from birth and beyond. Wanting, wanting other than present, or dreading the losing of what's here, a constant 'fuite en avant'. Living that way makes no sense. 

Back to the purity of breath, and body, and sheer sensing . . .   

Why Thoughts Matter So Much

Found in Twitter stream, this morning:

What we think or what we believe is, in the end, of little consequence. The only thing of consequence is what we do.~John Ruskin

I had to respond with a vehement no:

What we think has big influence on state of our mind and happiness, regardless of followed or not by actions.

Case in point, as I watched earlier the effect of a few unwholesome thoughts on my overall state. Mind darkening, stomach constricting, and increased unpleasantness. Each contributing to unnecessary suffering.

And why, it is so important to guard the mind, and clean it up whenever the hateful or angry thoughts sneak in:

Found a few unwholesome thoughts upon waking up - putting a halt and replacing instead with wise ones, taking care of mind.

Oh! the happiness of a purified mind . . .

The Will to Love

The Dalai Lama makes a big deal of kindness:

"My religion is very simple. My religion is kindness."

I agree with him, kindness, love, whatever you call it, is the supreme human quality, that which makes live worth living. 

Next comes the question, of how to be kind? Before I knew better, I used to think of love as a random occurence. Sometimes I felt moved to love, sometimes the opposite happened. In it stead, came hate, or indifference. Some people I found easy to love, others I called a pain, or downright nasty. The conditions had to be right . . . 

Now, I have changed my view, and I have come to the conclusion that love is an act of will, to be exercised moment to moment. Paying attention to the mind's constant stirrings, I catch myself often with a thought that could take me down an unwanted path, if I let it. Just one thought in the privacy of my mind, that's baiting me to move away, divide, judge, react, distrust . . . Just one thought begging to be said out loud, and do permanent damage, to myself and others . . . Just one thought with the potential to be acted out, down the line . . . Just one thought . . .

From having gone down the unwanted path, many times before, and watching others do the same, I have learned a big lesson. Left unchecked, a single unloving thought can create havoc in its wake. Words, said hastily, and leaving permanent wounds or grudges. Wrong actions, whose karmic effects can be felt for years, and sometimes one's entire life. So much unnecessary suffering, starting with just one little thought!

Of course, even with the best of intentions, there are moments still, when a careless word slips out too fast, or a wrongful deed takes place, and I am left with remorse, and the humbling reflections of my very imperfect human nature. A dangerous space where self-loathing lurks . . . A time to practice patience, and self-acceptance. An opportunity to open the heart, and apologize. A necessary step along the way of understanding and love. The more I feel the sting of my misdeeds, the more vigilant and willing I become to guard against the untamed mind.

On the receiving end also, lie plenty of opportunities to practice. Forgiving others for their own imperfections, particularly those without a vantage point from which to assess their thoughts. They are letting their unruly mind rule their lives. There is much compassion to be had there.

I Think Too Much

Our usual thinking mind does not do well with nuances. At least, mine doesn't . . . 'I feel grief.' 'I love this!' 'I have a lot of pain.' So many examples of blanket thoughts that solidify one's experiences and leave no room for the ever changing reality of life. 

We think that there is some sameness all the time, something that is always there. This is the way we create continuity in our mind. Thoughts create continuity and they create this idea of sameness. When we totally stop thinking and become mindful and concentrate and pay attention to whatever is happening right now, we see that something is arising right now. It was not there before. It is right now.

~ U Jotika, 'A Map of the Journey' ~ 

This morning, feeling the heat of anger rising, I stepped outside of habitual thinking mind, right into the inferno.  And discovered with great wonder, a myriad of physical sensations, many of them quite pleasant, that kept coming and going. I did this for a few minutes, for that was all the time I had. The whole experience made me curious though. What else would I have discovered, had I lingered some more?

Life as a stream. Always moving, always changing, alive . . . 

Mingyur Rinpoche's Playing Tricks With Monkey Mind

Last weekend, Mingyur Rinpoche taught us how to deal with 'monkey mind', the crazy, restless part of our mind that causes us so much suffering. Making ample use of paradox, Rinpoche explained how to use monkey mind to free ourselves from monkey mind. I was reminded of structural family therapist Salvador Minuchin's clever paradoxical interventions with families.

Mingyur Rinpoche's Monkey Puppet

Below, my notes from the day, unedited . . . 

How to meditate with sixth consciousness, mental consciousness (monkey mind), is most important.

We know two kinds of dukkha (suffering/dissatisfaction/discomfort):

• self, or mind created - 95% of dukkha 
• natural

One example is fear of dying which is a lot worse than death itself.

Rinpoche's story, to illustrate how to use problem as antidote:

When I was in training in the monastery, I once got water stuck in my ear. The sound from water swishing around drove me crazy. I went to my teacher and asked him what should I do? He told me to pour more water into my ear. I did, and that way was able to get all the water out.

Same with monkey mind. Use monkey mind to free monkey mind.

We usually have two responses to monkey mind:

• "Yes, Sir" - being controlled by monkey mind, monkey mind as our bad boss
• "Get out!" - aversion to monkey mind, monkey mind as our enemy

Instead, we need to make friend with monkey mind - "Hello!"

When we put our awareness on monkey mind, monkey mind becomes a support for our awareness.

Monkey mind is made up of thoughts and emotions and entails three things:

• Images
• Words
• Body sensations 

Images and words are most connected with thoughts, and sensations with emotions.

Emotions, particularly long time developed emotions are more difficult to use as support for meditation, at least at first. That is because it is difficult to get out of habits. Hence, one should start by learning first how to use thoughts as support for meditation. 

Thought meditation:

• Having thoughts is not a problem
• If one runs into expectations about thoughts, use these as support for meditation
• When watching thoughts there are two possible experiences, maybe you can see them, maybe not - if you cannot see, you are into open awareness, like being at a bus stop waiting for the bus - if you can see thought, then awareness of thought as object - either way, two great meditation experiences.
• If you want to use thought as support for meditation you can - using them just like sounds, or breath - watching them come and go
• Like watching "inner television" - only problem is program is quite old - that's ok, keep on watching same program, the result of watching will be different each time - analogy of swimming, only five strokes, but experience of Olympic swimmer is quite different from person who is learning how to swim.
• When watching thoughts, it is important to be uncontrived - whatever happens, happens.

Emotion meditation:

• Difficult with long time held emotions, because of very strong habits of fighting or surrendering
• It is very important to talk about emotions, as first step before meditation
• There are four steps for emotion meditation.

Four steps of emotion meditation:

1. Main practice, with two parts: 1) recognize emotion, which often means feeling it more fully - mountain analogy: when you see the mountain, that means you are out of the mountain, but at first, it may seems as if mountain is bigger, 2) don't ask question, only be aware of three aspects of emotion - audio (verbal), video (images), body (sensations)
2. Try something different: if emotion is too overwhelming, 1) go back to other objects of meditation, such as sounds, smells, forms, breath, etc . . . or, 2) make a different emotion, eg, anger instead of panic (gossipy neurons will join anger group instead of panic group)
3. Take a break: if 1) and 2) don't work, or if you feel too exhausted, like a computer running out of battery, don't meditate - instead, rest, do physical exercise, get a cup of coffee, appreciate being alive . . . 
4. Step back: look at booster of emotion, which is often stronger than emotion itself, eg, fear of panic, dislike of anger, expectations about emotion, etc . . .  and turn it into object of meditation.

Brilliant, simple, practical. A breath of fresh air in Dharmadom . . . For more teachings from Mingyur Rinpoche, you may want to read his two books: The Joy of Living, and Joyful Wisdom, and also visit his website.

Deep Cleaning of the Mind

There is mindfulness of breathing, mindfulness of body sensations, mindfulness of feelings, mindfulness of sounds, mindfulness of whatever is most compelling . . . So many different kinds of mindfulness! Lately, my attention has turned to mindfulness of thoughts. Taking a very involved approach, that goes beyond simply acknowledging, and letting go of the thoughts, as is most common in meditation. The image that comes to me, is of a deep cleaning of the mind. It goes like this:

1. Become mindful
2. Notice the thought(s)
3. Identify whether thought is wholesome or not wholesome
4. If wholesome, cultivate the thought
5. If not wholesome, label the thought, and replace it with its wholesome counterpart

Be like the Buddha, as he was striving for deliverance, before his enlightenment:

Meditating in the forest, he found that his thoughts could be distributed into two different classes. In one he put thoughts of desire, ill will, and harmfulness, in the other thoughts of renunciation, good will, and harmlessness. Whenever he noticed thoughts of the first kind arise in him, he understood that those thoughts lead to harm for oneself and others, obstruct wisdom, and lead away from Nibbana. Reflecting in this way he expelled such thoughts from his mind and brought them to an end. But whenever thoughts of the second kind arose, he understood those thoughts to be beneficial, conducive to the growth of wisdom, aids to the attainment of Nibbana. Thus he strengthened those thoughts and brought them to completion.

Since greed and aversion are deeply grounded, they do not yield easily; however, the work of overcoming them is not impossible if an effective strategy is employed. The path devised by the Buddha makes use of an indirect approach: it proceeds by tackling the thoughts to which these defilements give rise. Greed and aversion surface in the form of thoughts, and thus can be eroded by a process of "thought substitution," by replacing them with the thoughts opposed to them. The intention of renunciation provides the remedy to greed. Greed comes to manifestation in thoughts of desire — as sensual, acquisitive, and possessive thoughts. Thoughts of renunciation spring from the wholesome root of non-greed, which they activate whenever they are cultivated. Since contrary thoughts cannot coexist, when thoughts of renunciation are roused, they dislodge thoughts of desire, thus causing non-greed to replace greed. Similarly, the intentions of good will and harmlessness offer the antidote to aversion. Aversion comes to manifestation either in thoughts of ill will — as angry, hostile, or resentful thoughts; or in thoughts of harming — as the impulses to cruelty, aggression, and destruction. Thoughts of good will counter the former outflow of aversion, thoughts of harmlessness the latter outflow, in this way excising the unwholesome root of aversion itself.

- From Bikkhu Bodhi, in The Noble Eightfold Path, the Way to the End of Suffering -

No mystery here. Only tedious, and indeed very sacred work. 

The Gift, and Curse of Memory

Lingering sadness, a leftover from yesterday's bitter exchange with family member, reminds me once more of the power of memory over one's sense of being. In this case, memory acts as glue between unpleasant past event, carried over feeling felt right now, and anticipatory thoughts about possible consequences for future. Objectively, sadness no longer belongs to present moment. The event is over. Same with the imagined thoughts.

Contrast that experience with my mother's state of mind. My mother is suffering from Alzheimer's. While her loss of memory is having tragic consequences on her ability to function, it has also enabled my mother to start living in the present. My mother, a chronic worrier, was never able to really enjoy life, which in turn made it very hard for me and my brother to be with her. Last time, I visited her, I noticed all her concerns, about her health, her material possessions, her children, and life in general, all the thoughts that used to poison her existence, were gone. Past no longer existed, and thoughts about the future were faint. Her many regrets about a life lived mostly in frustration, were gone. Only left, was the moment, between her and I. For once, the burden of her anxiety had lifted, and we were both free to enjoy our precious times together.

Memory, it's the glue that perpetuates the illusion of a fixed self, and the much needed cohesiveness for a functioning ego.

One Minute Worth of Tranquillity

On my way, driving to IMC this morning, my mind's caught in a whirlwind of thoughts. About this new idea, that has been growing over the last few weeks. Head still spinning, I ready for sitting with the habitual Sunday crowd. At least, I am aware, and prepared to welcome the onslaught inside. The room seems restless, adding to my agitation. Doors opening and closing, neighbor whispering to newcomer, pots falling in the kitchen, the usual coughs and clearings of throat. 'Brilliant' thought about idea, breath, noise, another exciting thought, noise, yet another thought, noise, breath . . . and so it goes, until the room, and then I, calm down enough, for breath to take center stage. Energy moving down from head to heart. Body sinking into the floor, and chair. Thinking receding. Image of still lake, and impurities settling down at the bottom. Just as I was becoming one with breath, the bell rings.

Appropriately, Gil's talk today was about 'Love', and Liberation. And the need to clear one self from thinking, to get to place where heart is open for love. I loved Gil's story of going to the symphony, and missing the first half of the concert, because he was too absorbed into his thoughts about the various musicians. How he had to close his eyes, to clear his thoughts, and go to place of relative stillness, to finally hear the music.

One of the big shifts in my still young practice, has been a growing appreciation for the gift of tranquillity, that comes from sitting long enough, so that the mind gets a chance to settle. No effort, other than pure awareness and still body, and patience also, to allow for thinking to exhaust itself. All in an attitude of surrender, and trust in the process. Today, I got six uninterrupted breaths, or about one minute worth of just being. Nice . . .

The Fear of No Thoughts

Ever since I resumed my meditation practice a few months ago, I have been busy. Never a dull moment during each sitting. My prolific mind and sensitive heart have taken turns entertaining me with multiple dramas - and sometimes comedies - in which I am inevitably the primary star. Recently, I just started noticing a change. Times without any thoughts at all. At first, I welcomed the break. A few seconds here and there, not thinking! From my readings, I knew this was a good sign. Yesterday and today were different however. The 'not thinking' took over, and I started feeling weird, from not knowing what to think or feel about this 'not thinking'. I became restless, and wondered what would happen next? Mostly, I got scared of losing control.