Salah nama? Salah jantina?

Hahaha...tajuk sikit punya xleh blah. Bukan ape, bukan saje2 nk kecoh. Tapi aku sedikit terkilan la dgn warga Malaysia. Kalau tang nama org buat tutup sebelah mata ja. Bukan xdisertakan sekali IC...ni IC da siap da ngan gmbr PEREMPUAN BERTUDUNG...pi jugak letak nama aku ELHALMI la HELHAMI la...yg paling best....panggil aku SAUDARA atau TUAN...aku perempuan la wei...tensen jerk...motip? please take note la mende2 mcm ni, tgk betol2 nama org tu...kan da ada BINTI sah2 la dia perempuan...ni bukan kes Asyraf nk jadik Aliah ye...kamon la people!

Tahap kemalasan maksima

Ngape malas? xtahu la ngape malas. Patotnye da xleh malas2. Dah kena masuk gear 5 siapkan everything before bulan 9. Huhuhu...ntah sempat ke x. Dengan kerenah birokrasi itu ini. Nk surat itu nk surat ini...I'm not sure whether I can settle everything on time. Terasa penat. Sgt2 penat. Bilik pon da macam tongkang pecah. Sbb tu kut jadik malassss (alasan!!! lempang diri sendiri laju2)...muahaha.

So far, I manage to settle 2, 3 benda je. Da dpt offer letter from UCL (yg sgt susah nk dptkan tmpt), setelkan sumer2 dokumen jpa nak (partially), and then deferkan offer UNSW. Tak tahu la tu sempat ke x intake July 2011. Hopefully sempat la. Da penat pikir mende2 alah ni. Nk sambung blaja pon sikit punya susah.

Then, nk kemaskan bilik kut2 la kena perambat kt org kan kasik laluan kt org lain...hahaha. Pastu nk setelkan borang2 (bukan sikit...boleh buat jilid buku borang2 tu sumer...kihkih) dan matikan setem perjanjian yg ado 4 tu ha.. aku xlari ke mano laaa...mmg terikat ngan gomen haaa

I just pray that from now on, everything's will go smoothly, yess, have faith!

Kawan

Awak xnk kawan saya?
Xpelah...saya xkisah
Lagipun sy xpenah buat pape kt awk
Awk judge sy pon berdasarkan citer org
Lgpon setengah org suka tambah2 citer bg menyedapkan lagi citer dia
Saya x amik hati pon
Saya ada kawan yg betol2 kenal hati budi saya
Saya xsuka kawan yg stab my back
Saya xsuka kawan yg bercerita hal bukan2 tentang saya kt org lain
Saya xsuka kawan yg suke mempengaruhi org lain utk nk tunjuk pengaruh dia
Saya juga xsuka kawan yg mulut manis dan suka mereka-reka citer
Saya tahu mungkin ada yg memang anggap sy begitu
Tapi seriously saya xkisah...yang penting Allah tahu hati budi saya
Dan saya akan sayang dan jaga kawan yg betol2 kawan saya sampai mati

T_T

Nothing else I can do right now
Except for being set back and cried
Why is it so hard
Why is it sooo difficult for me
Is there any blessings in disguise?
I don't get it
What is wrong with me...
Terasa diri ini sungguh lemah dan kerdil
Mahu saja tido, lemah, xberdaya
X mampu nk buat pape
Kenapa payah benar?
Am I being cursed by someone for the rest of my life....
Serabut...terasa ingin berhenti berharap...

To do list

Mengada-ngada nk to do list kt sini jugak kan. Bukan apa, takut lupa. Semenjak dua menjak makin 'muda' ni...selalu ja lupa. Kunci bilik pon main selamba ja tinggal kt toilet. WTH...hahaha. Okay, mintak cuti,sudah. Tanda logbook, sudah. Key in markah je belum. Hehehe, tunggu 1 komponen lg from my colleague. Hurm...survey2 hotel dan resort kt langkawi tp malangnya, yg berkenan di hati sumer penuh. Huh....

Xpe2, nnti cari lg. Utk esok ngan lusa mmg sibuk ngan SAAG (success as a graduates) utk student2 yg bakal graduate dan akan diinterview oleh bakal majikan mereka. Then hari jumaat ingt nk setelkan borang2 TPM yg maha byknyer tu...lenguh wei isi borg TPM tu.... Pastu on Monday maybe (hopefully xjadi...hahaha) ada meeting. 1 haram content utk meeting aku xbuat lg. Xsempat mak nk buat laaaa....

And...tang ni paling best! Cuti da approve!!! Yaahoooo....nk g mana?? nnti I hapdet ya....rasa mcm da lama sgt xbercuti. The last one sebelum gave birth to Sarah. Now Sarah is almost 1 year and 2months. So maknanye da dekat setahun xbercuti....mana la xmandom...kuikui (alasan...kalau da malas tu malas juga kan)

The thing is.....En.Rajin silalah mendampingi saya sekarang!! I need you right now...

p/s: harap maaf...entry ni mmg xdak motif dan content mmg terabur...hade haku kesah?? belog haku,suka hati I la kann....hihihi

Rajuk yg pjg...

I have a lot of work to do now, but I can't really focus...firstly I don't know why lately I'm not so that productive in terms of work...secondly, my left hand is aching badly...mungkin sbb tido salah atau terlalu byk menaip,tp humang aih, mmg sakit la...and thirdly because I'm not in the mood of doing work,hahaha, my Mr. Mood has lost somewhere.

Puas da pujuk hati supaya rajin...boleh? tapi kenapa xrajin2 ek, mesti ada something yg sdg mengganggu pale hotak aku ni...yup, mmg betol pon. Yup, I think too much, about what people did to me. I'm thinking because I didn't get the answer why I deserve to be treated like that. Jahat sgt ke aku ni? buruk sgt ke ropa aku ni? buruk benar ke kelakuanku? why I can accept others flaws but when it comes to me, everybody just slam their judgement on me? why? oh why?

Why I didn't deserve a spot over there? Am I not that good enough? Am I not Islamic enough? Merajuk ar camni...xpe ar kalau gini, hehehehe,mcm bdk2 kecik je, tp true enough...I told my heart just to get over with it. Just forget that place, the people and everything. Just keep the best and sweet memories only and good people too to be remembered. Maybe it's true I didn't deserve the place. Others do. They are excellent and good enough to be there if compared to me. So just forget the u to the i to the a then.

Now, let's focus of what we have today, right now right here. Make the best of it. If people still think negative about me, I tell myself...who cares...I'm still the only one surviving here. I will and still survive. I didn't bother much about people saying me as 'manja, bekeng', and what not to list down the bad side of me here....hell ya, I do have flaws and I'd done terrible things and bad things in the past that I've regretted throughout my whole life. But life must go on, isn't it? By the way, not everybody is perfect though...we tolerate each other. If you treasure me, I treasure you the most. Simple. You don't care about me, I still care about you...

I do have flaws, but I'm a normal person. I've learn from my mistakes. I'll forgive whatever people have done to me, say about me...Cause I believe that will make me become more tranquil and peace. I do love and treasure my friends the most and my family (of course). Thank you for being around me and support me even though I'm a bad person. Let's be positive.

Bertabahlah, dunia bukan kekal selama-lamanya, apa yg dicari di dunia fana ini...pangkat & harta hanya perhiasan duniawi. Rezeki itu ada walau lambat atau cepat. Tersenyumlah dan dunia akan tersenyum dengan mu.

Terfikir sejenak

Keje banyak memang xsoh cakap la...logbook duk menimbun tunggu nk ditanda, sampai naik muak da nk menanda...kikkiki, tapi itu tanggungjawab dan tugas sebagai cikgu kan...so harusss la kena buat dengan hati yang IKHLAS...

Ok berbalik kepada tajuk entry ini, banyak mende yg buat aku terfikir sejenak lately...bila duk tanda kertas jawapan anak2 murid, yg mana2 xperform tu, terfikir jugak la, di mana silapnya...kami ke yg xmengajar cukup bagus sampai ada yg xperform langsung atau attitude student tu sendiri?? kadang2 kita da bg lebih dan bitau, ajar banyak kali,tp kenapa still xmasuk dalam otak dorg? I wonder, are they being ignorance or we didn't do a great job to educate them? tapi kenapa ada yg boleh perform?? haiyyaa...

Another thing is, terfikir sejenak tentang org yg nk kije sbg cikgu tp asik2 komplen byk keje...kalau xnk tanda kertas, xnk itu xnk ini, xpayah la jadik cikgu. Keje ni mmg mulia tp the pay is not as good as what u can get outside...xkan nk ckp byk aje,tp output xdak in terms of hasil kerja...Walk the talk man!

I only hold on to this principle...'I want to excel because I really do, not because of I step on others toe nor jeopardize others' Itu sahaja. Hidup ini sementara, apa yg kita duk ckp pung pang sana pung pang sini, lambat laun balik semula kt kita. Saya cuma nk keje cari rezeki halal utk bg anak sy makan, dan sebagai amal sy di kemudian hari.

If only I can change the world...I WILL!