School.

I am a teacher now, albeit a trainee one. I was nervous and the thoughts of teaching and facing teenage students scared me. The age divide thing, their interests, attitude and behavior, how they'd perceive me; used to be daunting thoughts haunting my mind day and night, but not anymore.

I smile and laugh at them for being young and naive, and I am jealous of their youth, their sense of freedom and lack of care for the things around them. I come into class wondering to myself at the journeys that I have crossed, and those journeys are the ones that they will take too. I come into class being arrogant, not because of my knowledge but knowing that whatever they are going to go through or what they are going through- I have gone through, and I survived. It makes me feel all giddy and cocky.

At times, I feel like I am a negative prick and I tend to be bitter about whatever that is being discussed in the classroom like: hopes, dreams, aspirations and goals. I would smile when they say they have goals in life and they know what they want to do and which road they want to take; well some of them. I was not one of those kids. When I was 16, I did not know what I wanted to be. I took life as it went. I used to be one of those who would wake up in the morning and just wanting to get the day done and over with. I am still like that most of the time.

Back when I was in school, teachers were aliens entering the classroom depositing knowledge into our empty shells and exited and the actions repeated over the course of the school semesters. Teachers nowadays take on more formal, stringent, restricted, guided, strict, rule-governed, limited, stressful, not fun, drowned-by-paperwork, roles in school. I mean, do not get me wrong. Some teachers are awesome but most teachers nowadays are just tired- burned out. Teachers are poor souls (though paid well. See the irony there?) being pushed around by people from higher grounds to do their dirty and complicated deeds. Some teachers just give up. 

The very same system that is shaping the future generations of the nation is also the very same one that could potentially and ultimately destroy our chances for a better future. Have you ever thought of that?

p.s: Trying to make a difference.