A moment in the field I will never forget....the next time I am asked what I do....grab a kleenex

Paper thin, appears to be loosely held together but their is hope in the background....For this blog entry I title it "WRITING ON THE WALL"...

True definition, resolution returns and colors solid as integrity is returned....and take a peek at the horses before continuing to read...

I have been in the psychiatric nursing field for 17+ years and yesterday was the 2nd hardest workday of my life.  The next time someone asks me what I do referring to a career, this will be my picture in my mind....

We teach in the field that journaling is a healthy coping mechanism for processing grief, this is my entry....

As I parked the truck near a rustic corral of rugged tree poles, I was greeted by a therapist assistant.  "There is something very sad happening along the fence so I am warning you.  A horse has died and another is close."  I began to take the long way around in hopes of not seeing the suffering and then I did and it continued for 2 hours and I was ok letting the teenage boys know why I had moments of tears in their physicals.  My assistant quickly thought to go to the truck and give the black and white paint horse her apple and a liter of water then called out on the sat phone to get rescues alerted.  And then I spent time with the boys and the horse in full vision and at times in the corner of my eye.  He was skin and bones, legs trembling as they held him up under the shade of the tree and eyes looked tired with goo.  He would rest and then he would walk to our truck then back to us in the shade.  He had a brand and was domesticated.  It was a quiet reminder of the horses and their loved owners that could not feed them in the time of this economy and how many were shot or abandoned so that children could be fed or the a hot water bill met.....

As I struggled last night driving home in the dusk I prayed to God and this is what he whispered to me. 

Em, the students and clients and their families are this horse.  Children wastiing on drugs, driving drunk, selling drugs amidst gunfire and eyes glossed by hours of computer games.   They are surrounded by resources of love and strength but are unable to see because of being so lost in the wilderness of darkness of life. You are part of a community that offers the apples, the water and one day the sobriety and strength of the return of the little toddler who parents cried when he took his first steps, kindergarten graduation, soccer games and bedtime stories. 

And then I remembered the text I got from a field staff this morning. 
"Just heard Lady Gaga sing "BOYS BOYS BOYS" and thought of you singing with Joe in the field during his physical."  I laughed as she told me how she misses Entrada.

And that is what I do for a career......