G
is for
gold
white, light I saw
long before your
wintered field,
the worried earth,
my wearing war,
long before, yes,
long before field
and earth and war,
our birth, our golden
birth, I saw it
gold and white,
the light, I saw,
the light, the gold
of light, of you.
3 comments:
the simplicity and repetition worked for me here, in my head moreso than outloud.
still not crazy about the "g is for" beginnings. i think tracy or ariel's comment about just having the alphabetical word 'gold' as the title would do it. would be most like the tightness of your introductory piece on letters.
just back from 2 weeks with the army and I'll be able to post/amend etc... thanks Ariel for doing this for me!
I agree with your comments on the "is for" and shall cease a.s.a.p.!
Like Andie, I really like your use of repetition here, the white, the light, long, etc. Works well with the short lines. I also really like "worried earth" and "wearing war" and how the phrases both feel beaten up compared to the birth and light images.
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