A Weird Day at the Faire

Oh, the little faire looked pleasant enough - a sort of company picnic for the feudal set, with children running about and young men trying to show off for the ladies. People strolling, eating, drinking, singing, dancing - a good time.

But since the murder-hobos are involved, there had to be something sinister lurking just under the surface ...

Roll d20 and then d4 a few times to generate some interesting or weird encounters at the faire - something the PCs can bump into as they wander. Some of these might even prove of value as game hooks - players arrive too late to stop something from happening, but are called on by the king to investigate and set things right.

Click to enlarge

Monstrous One-Liners

Have you ever had a half-ass idea for a monster - just a description and a few ideas for special abilities, or maybe even just a picture - and wanted to use it without having to come up with all the other stats right then and there?

Today, I was jotting down some ideas for monsters at work and I thought up a way to do simple, one line monster descriptions and only one stat - a monster level - that ties into a random chart that determines the combat stats when you need them.

Monsters have levels that run from 1 to 10. The monster's level determines the dice you roll for its combat stats.

The combat stats are then rolled on this chart. You could do one roll and use all the stats for that line, or roll for each stat - whatever you want. Treat a roll that is less than zero as zero.

Two notes:

*Damage for first attack; second and third attacks are 1 level lower; third and fourth attacks are 2 levels lower

**Movement is slow (S), normal (N), quick (Q) and rapid (R) – use your best judgment for what these mean in your preferred version of the grand old game

Finally - some monster one-liners (with a quick sketch of the killa-bot).

Killa-Bot, the murderous automaton; 4th level; electro-touch (1d6), resist electricity, maniacal laughter (confusion)

Befouler, the drooling eye orb; 8th level; rust ray, acid ray (1d6), disease ray, rot ray (ruins food and water)

Mindbender, worms out to conquer the world; 3rd level; appear as normal neckware, control mind with their touch, magic resistance 15%

Tar-Bull, bovine made of flaming tar; 5th level; fire body (1d6 damage), foul smoke (save or blinded), charge for x3 damage

Mercury Ape, violet violent primate with force arms; 3rd level; constrict with arms (x2 damage), resist all energies, immune to mind effects

 
So the adventurers run into two of mercury apes while exploring a dungeon. The DM rolls d6-1 five times and discovers they have 2 HD, AC 13, 2 attacks for 1d6 damage and they are slow. She can now make a note of this for the next battle, or even roll over again the next time mercury apes show up.

Man-At-Arms-A-Rama

When I get half a second (after Blood & Treasure Second Edition and NOD 29 and Mystery Men! Second Edition), I want to write a quick book called 200 Lines about 100 Men-At-Arms. A nice random selection of folks, with some tables for names, and such. I took the time to peruse a whole crap load of Osprey plates featuring different warriors throughout time, and thought, in the meantime, I'd share how those men-at-arms were equipped.

So here's over 400 men-at-arms and their equipment, arranged by time period (-35c means 35th century BC, 5c means 5th century AD, and I'm sure you can figure it out from there). Use them as henchmen or randomly encountered warriors or random starting gear for fighters or whatever else you can think of. If you have a d408 you're golden. You could also roll 1d5, then either 1d100 or 1d8 to generate a random man-at-arm.

1. Sumerian heavy footman -35c Shield, spear
2. Nubian warrior -30c Shortbow, club, 20 arrows
3. Philistine heavy footman -30c Banded cuirass, short sword
4. Semite archer -19c Shortbow, battleaxe, 20 arrows
5. Syrian archer -14c Shortbow, 20 arrows
6. Hittite charioteer -13c Lamellar, shield, spear
7. Bedouin warrior -12c Sickle sword, 2 javelins
8. Sea People mercenary -12c Shield, spear, longsword
9. Egyptian heavy footman -12c Padded, shield, spear, curved knife
10. Egyptian heavy footman (ancient) -12c Shield, khopesh or battle axe
11. Libyan tribesman (ancient) -12c Short sword
12. Egyptian archer -12c Shortbow, 20 arrows
13. Nubian archer -12c Shortbow, 10 arrows
14. Sherdan warrior -12c Shield, short sword
15. Mycenaean noble -12c Dendra armor, tower shield, spear, short sword
16. Myceaean warrior, late bronze -11c Shield, battle axe, short sword
17. Myceaean warrior, late bronze -11c Shield, spear, short sword
18. Hittite warrior -9c Shield, spear
19. Assyrian footman -8c Shield, spear, dagger
20. Assyrian footman -8c Buckler, disc, spear, dagger
21. Assyrian footman -7c Shield, spear
22. Assyrian archer -7c Shortbow, short sword, 10 arrows
23. Elamite archer -7c Shortbow, 20 arrows
24. Assyrian archer -7c Lamellar shirt, shortbow, dagger, 20 arrows
25. Assyrian footman -7c Lamellar shirt, tower shield, spear
26. Assyrian horseman -7c Lamellar shirt, short bow, spear, dagger, 20 arrows
27. Assyrian royal guardsman -7c Lamellar shirt, shield or tower shield, spear
28. Persian immortal footman -6c Scale cuirass, shield, hand axe
29. Greek hoplite -5c Linothorax armor, shield, spear, dagger
30. Etruscan officer -5c Shield, disc, falchion
31. Sindo-Meothic nobleman -5c Lamellar, shield, spear, short sword, dagger
32. Scythian nobleman -5c Leather, short bow, short sword, 20 arrows
33. Scythian noblewoman -5c Leather, short bow, short sword, 20 arrows
34. Scythian heavy horseman -5c Lamellar, composite bow, horseman’s pick, 2 javelins
35. Companion horseman (Alexander the Great) -4c Light lance, short sword
36. Companion officer (Alexander the Great) -4c Scale shirt, light lance, short sword
37. Libyan archer -4c Shortbow, 10 arrows
38. Phoenician marine -4c Padded cuirass, shield, falchion, 3 javelins
39. Persian horseman -4c Battleaxe
40. Persian horseman -4c Short sword, 3 javelins
41. Persian footman -4c Shield, spear
42. Persian royal footman -4c Shield, spear, composite bow
43. Thracian heavy horseman -4c Breastplate, short sword, 2 javelins
44. Thracian light horseman -4c Buckler, 2 javelins, short sword
45. Thracian footman -4c Shield, 2 javelins, short sword
46. Thracian horseman -4c Breastplate, shield, light lance, short sword
47. Getic heavy horseman -4c Lamellar, light lance, short sword
48. Getic horse-archer -4c Composite bow, short sword, 20 arrows
49. Prodromoi horseman -3c Light lance
50. Footman -3c Battleaxe, short sword
51. Foot companion -3c Shield, spear, short sword
52. Iberian footman -2c Mail/scale shirt, spear, short sword
53. Iberian footman -2c Mail/scale shirt, shield, spear
54. Iberian horseman -2c Mail/scale shirt, buckler, light lance, short sword, barding
55. Liby-Phoenician heavy footman -2c Mail shirt, shield, spear, short sword
56. Gaul footman -1c Mail shirt, shield, longsword, spear, javelin
57. Gaul horseman -1c Longsword
58. Parthian horse-archer -1c Composite bow, 10 arrows
59. Western Han spearman -1c Lamellar breastplate, spear
60. Western Han swordsman -1c Lamellar breastplate, buckler, long sword or short sword
61. Western Hand crossbowman -1c Heavy crossbow
62. Roman warrior 1c Banded cuirass, shield, short sword, dagger, spear
63. Celtic light footman 1c Buckler, longsword
64. Han lancer 1c Lamellar breastplate, light lance, longsword
65. Han mounted archer 1c Composite bow, 10 arrows
66. Myrmillo (gladiator) 2c Shield, short sword
67. Dacian warrior 2c Scale shirt, shield, short sword
68. Persian cataphract 2c Banded mail, light lance, longsword, barding
69. Armenian cataphract 2c Chainmail + lamellar, light lance, longsword, barding
70. West Sassanian armored horseman 2c Mail shirt, composite bow, light lance, longsword, barding
71. Kushan footman 2c Scale shirt, shield, spear, short sword
72. Eastern Han archer 2c Short bow, 20 arrows
73. Vietnamese Auxiliary 2c Scale shirt, buckler, spear
74. Eastern Han armored foorman 2c Shortbow, short sword, 20 arrows
75. East Parthian cataphracts 3c Lamellar, light lance, composite bow, longsword
76. Parthian horse-archer 3c Composite bow, dagger
77. Clibanarius from Ahwaz 3c Mail shirt, composite bow, spear, short sword, barding
78. Three Kingdoms armored horseman 3c Scale shirt, light lance, composite bow, longsword
79. Three Kingdoms Northwest rebel footman 3c Shield, spear
80. Northern Han Dynasty catapract horseman 4c Scale, light lance, longsword, barding
81. Northern Han Dynasty armored archer 4c Scale breastplate, composite bow, 10 arrows
82. Sassanid Persian cataphract 4c Lamellar, light lance, composite bow, barding
83. Tanukhid auxiliary horseman 4c Spear, short sword
84. Alamannic warrior 4c Shield, spear, short sword, throwing axe, dagger
85. Visigoth 4c Shield, short sword, spear, javelin
86. Japanese footman 4c Lamellar breastplate, shield, spear, short sword
87. Japanese foot commander 4c Lamellar breastplate, spear, short sword
88. Hun warrior 4c Scale, spear, scimitar, composite bow, 20 arrows
89. Roman horse officer 4c Scale, shield, short sword
90. Roman sailor, Saxon short fleet 4c Short sword
91. Roman horseman 5c Mail shirt, shield, longsword, light lance
92. Roman foot officer 5c Shield, spear, longsword
93. Aksumite warrior 5c Shield, spear, short sword
94. Frankish 5c Mail shirt, buckler, short sword, spear
95. East Sassanian horseman 5c Composite bow, longsword, 10 arrows
96. Han tribal leader 5c Lamellar breastplate, composite bow, longsword
97. Ephthalite nobleman 5c Longsword
98. Saka horseman 5c Shield, longsword
99. Kushan nobleman 5c
100. Tashtyk tribesman 5c Lamellar shirt, shield, longsword, composite bow

101. Hsing-nu horseman 5c Padded + lamellar, composite bow, light lance, scimitar
102. Japanese clansman (footman) 6c Lamellar, spear, longsword
103. Lakhmid elite horseman 6c Mail shirt, composite bow, scimitar
104. Byzantine footman 6c Scale shirt, shield, longsword
105. Sassanid clibanarius 6c Lamellar, shield, footman’s mace, longsword, barding
106. Sassanid war elephant 6c Driver, archer (scale shirt, composite bow), warrior (mail shirt, 7 javelins)
107. Nomadic Iranian horse-archer 6c Composite bow, short sword, light lance
108. Chionite-Ephthalite horse-archer 6c Buckler, composite bow, 3 javelins, 20 arrows
109. Byzantine footman 6c Chainmail + lamellar, shield, longsword
110. Northern Ch'I Dynasty armored footman 6c Leather, shield, longsword
111. Northern Wei Dynasty frontier guard 6c Padded armor, shield, spear
112. Sui Dynasty guardsman 6c Breasplate, greatsword
113. Liang Dynasty armored horseman 6c Scale, light lance, longsword, composite bow, barding
114. Liang Dynasty swordsman 6c Shield, longsword
115. Arab footman 7c Mail shirt, shield, spear, short sword
116. Persian horse-archer 7c Leather coat, composite bow, longsword, dagger, 10 arrows, barding
117. Avar heavy horseman 7c Lamellar, light lance, scimitar, barding
118. Slavic tribal footman 7c Shield, handaxe, 2 javelins
119. Sassanian aswar in Yemen 7c Lamellar shirt, shield, longsword
120. Sassanian aswar officer in Oman 7c Mail shirt, composite bow, longsword, light lance
121. Arab boy warrior 7c Shortbow, 5 arrows
122. Khurasani heavy horseman 7c Lamellar, buckler, light lance, scimitar, composite bow, barding
123. Sassanid clibanarius 7c Chainmail, buckler, light lance, barding
124. Umayyad elite horseman 7c Chainmail + lamellar, shield, light lance, longsword
125. Umayyad light horseman, Egypt 7c Light lance, longsword
126. Pictish horseman 7c Scale shirt, spear, short sword, 3 darts
127. Pictish footman 7c Buckler, short sword, spear, 3 javelins
128. Iberian horseman 8c Mail shirt, shield, light lance, longsword
129. Arab officer 8c Shield, longsword
130. Ghulum cavalry guardsman (Abbasid Empire) 8c Composite bow, dagger, 40 arrows
131. Abna footman (Abbasid Empire) 8c Mail shirt, 2 javelins, dagger
132. Transoxanian Turk horseman 8c Lamellar shirt, scimitar, composite bow, 10 arrows
133. Umayyad infantry guardsman 8c Mail shirt, shield, spear
134. Umayyad infantry guardsman 8c Scale, shield, longsword
135. Umayyad cavalry guardsman 8c Buckler, light lance
136. Umayyad infantry archer 8c Composite bow, footman’s mace
137. Japanese footman 8c Padded, short sword
138. Khirgiz horseman 9c Lamellar breastplate, shield, light lance, scimitar
139. Khirgiz tribal horseman 9c Lamellar breastplate, light lance, longsword, composite bow, 10 arrows
140. Khirgiz tribesman (mounted) 9c Lamellar, longsword, composite bow, barding
141. Alan nobleman 9c Composite bow, scimitar, dagger, 10 arrows
142. Khazar horseman 9c Chainmail, light lance, hand axe, scimitar
143. Khwarazm Muslim mercenary 9c Mail shirt, shield, spear, dagger
144. Berber footman 9c Lamellar, buckler, longsword, spear, 2 javelins
145. Sindi horseman 9c Buckler, battleaxe
146. Transoxanian horse-archer 9c Lamellar, buckler, spear, longsword, composite bow
147. Egyptian horseman 9c Scale, spear, hand axe, longsword
148. Eastern Kiev tribal warrior 9c Padded, spear
149. Scandinavian merchant-venturer 9c Mail shirt, shield, battleaxe
150. Eastern Magyar horseman 9c Lamellar, buckler, light lance, longsword
151. Japanese sohei 10c Naginata, scimitar
152. Hamdanid horseman 10c Scale shirt, shield, light lance, short sword
153. Muslim-Armenian frontiersman 10c Padded, shield, battleaxe
154. Malatya frontier warrior 10c Padded, shield, short sword
155. Saljuq Turcoman horse-archer 10c Buckler, composite bow, 10 arrows, scimitar
156. Bedouin auxiliary 10c Buckler, short sword
157. Arab tribesman 10c Buckler, light mace, dagger
158. Varangian guard 10c Chainmail, lamellar, shield, battleaxe, longsword, dagger
159. Nubian footman 10c Padded, shield, spear
160. Rus mercenary 10c Shield, poleaxe, longsword
161. Scandinavian mercenary 10c Scale shirt, shield, spear, short sword, dagger
162. Anglo-Danish warrior 10c Short bow, battleaxe, dagger, 10 arrows
163. Byzantine skutatos 10c Scale shirt, shield, spear, short sword
164. Byzantine peltastos 10c Padded, shield, spear, 2 javelins, short sword
165. Byzantine skutatos 10c Lamellar/mail, shield, spear, short sword
166. Azerbaijan footman 10c Lamellar, shield, spear, scimitar
167. Byzantine cataphract (klivanophoros) 10c Chainmail, buckler, light lance, battleaxe, longsword, barding
168. Byzantine footman 10c Padded, shield, hand axe
169. Byzantine scutatoi spearman 10c Chainmail + scale, shield, spear
170. Andalusian footman 10c Padded, buckler, spear, short sword
171. Berber-Andalusian light horseman 10c Buckler, spear
172. Byzantine kataphractos 10c Chainmail + lamellar, shield, longsword, dagger
173. Khazar-Kagan horseman 10c Composite bow, longsword or warhammer
174. Saxon housecarl 11c Chainmail, shield, longsword, pole axe
175. Andalusian horseman 11c Chainmail, buckler, spear, short sword
176. Andalusian infantry archer 11c Mail shirt, composite bow, 20 arrows
177. German knight 11c Chainmail, shield, longsword
178. Norman knight 11c Chainmail, shield, light lance, longsword
179. Bohemian footman 11c Padded, shield, spear, longsword
180. Polish heavy horseman 11c Scale, shield, light lance, longsword, hand axe
181. Italo-Norman mercenary horseman 11c Chainmail, shield, light lance, longsword
182. Italo-Norman mercenary footman 11c Scale mail, shield, longsword
183. Northern Italy horseman 11c Chainmail, shield, longsword, light lance
184. Northern Italy urban militia 11c Chainmail, shield, spear
185. Northern Italy rural militia 11c Footman’s mace, dagger
186. Hiberno-Norse jarl 11c Spear, javelin, short sword
187. Varangian guardsman 11c Chainmail, shield, poleaxe, longsword
188. Kiev commander 11c Lamellar, longsword, light mace
189. Kiev warrior 11c Lamellar, shield, longsword
190. Kiev urban militiaman 11c Shield, battleaxe
191. Fatimid Caliphal guard 11c Mail shirt, shield, longsword, 2 javelins
192. Sahara tribal horseman 11c Spear
193. Fatimid horseman 11c Lamellar shirt, buckler, spear
194. Fatimid urban militiaman 11c Padded, buckler, glaive
195. Byzantine kataphractos 11c Scale shirt, shield, pike, longsword
196. Japanese sohei 12c Lamellar, glaive, short sword
197. Italo-Norman nobleman 12c Chainmail, shield, light lance, longsword
198. Sicilo-Norman crossbowman 12c Chainmail, light crossbow, short sword, 10 bolts
199. Sicilian reduta 12c Scale shirt, spear, dagger
200. Byzantine skutatos 12c Scale shirt, shield, spear, short sword

201. Norwegian backwoodsman 12c Padded, shield, longsword
202. Swedish crossbowman 12c Lamellar, shield, spear, light crossbow, 20 bolts
203. Norwegian knight 12c Chainmail, shield, longsword
204. Danish knight 12c Chainmail, shield, longsword
205. Danish footman 12c Mail shirt, shield, longsword
206. Danish militia footman 12c Mail shirt, shield, battleaxe
207. Volga Bulgar horseman 12c Mail shirt, light lance, scimitar, hand axe
208. Kipchaq horseman 12c Mail shirt + lamellar, composite bow, scimitar, 10 arrows
209. Seljuk mercenary footman 12c Mail shirt, buckler, horseman’s mace, longsword
210. Lotharingian footman 12c Mail shirt, shield, longsword
211. German knight 12c Chainmail, shield, longsword
212. Heavy footman 12c Chainmail, shield, spear, longsword
213. Veronese footman 12c Chainmail, shield, spear, longsword
214. German knight 12c Chainmail, shield, light lance, longsword
215. Italian knight 12c Chainmail, shield, horseman’s mace, longsword
216. Milanese footman 12c Shield, falchion
217. Seljuk horse-archer 12c Composite bow, longsword
218. Bedouin warrior 13c Mail shirt, buckler, spear, short sword
219. Mongol light archer 13c Padded, composite bow, scimitar, 20 arrows
220. Mongol heavy horseman 13c Lamellar, shield, scimitar, horseman’s mace, hand axe, barding
221. Iraqi footman 13c Chainmail, spear, short sword
222. Anatolian footman 13c Mail shirt, shield, spear
223. Anatolian horseman 13c Chainmail, composite bow, horseman’s axe, curved knife, 10 arrows
224. Ghulam heavy horseman 13c Chainmail + lamellar, shield, spear, short sword
225. Western Russian horseman 13c Chainmail + lamellar, shield, longsword, 3 javelins
226. Boyar nobleman 13c Chainmail, longsword
227. South-Eastern Russian horseman 13c Chainmail, shield, composite bow, scimitar, 10 arrows
228. Khwarazmian horseman 13c Chainmail + lamellar, light lance, short sword, composite bow, barding
229. Mamluk askari 13c Shield, longsword
230. Mamluk askari horseman 13c Shield, spear
231. Mamluk amir 13c Chainmail, buckler, spear, longsword
232. Mamluk askari 13c Buckler, composite bow, longsword, 10 arrows
233. Sicilian Saracen archer 13c Padded shirt, shortbow, 10 arrows, longsword
234. Sicilian Saracen archer 13c Padded shirt, buckler, shortbow, 10 arrows, longsword
235. Sicilian Saracen horse-archer 13c Shield, composite bow
236. Sicilian crossbowman 13c Light crossbow, dagger
237. Syrian amir 13c Chainmail, longsword
238. Templar knight 13c Chainmail, buckler, light lance, longsword
239. Tunisian Berber bodyguard 13c Lamellar breastplate, shield, spear, longsword
240. Turcoman auxiliary footman 13c Buckler, battleaxe
241. Turkish archer 13c Composite bow
242. Knight 13c Chainmail, buckler, longsword
243. Almohad elite warrior 13c Mail shirt, shield, footman’s mace, longsword, dagger
244. Danish sergeant 13c Mail shirt, shield, longsword, spear
245. Danish rural levy 13c Mail shirt, shield, battleaxe, short bow, 20 arrows
246. Danish knight 13c Chainmai, buckler, light lance, longsword
247. Russian crossbowman 13c Mail shirt, light crossbow, short sword
248. Urban militiaman 13c Padded, shield, spear, longsword
249. Light foot archer 13c Padded, battleaxe, shortbow, 20 arrows
250. Knight 13c Chainmail, shield, longsword
251. Southern French sergeant 13c Chainmail, shield, battleaxe, longsword
252. French royal knight 13c Chainmail, shield
253. Southern French crossbowman 13c Padded, heavy crossbow, dagger
254. Braboncon knight 13c Chainmail, shield, longsword
255. Braboncon mercenary horseman 13c Padded, short bow, scimitar, 10 arrows
256. Cuman auxiliary footman 13c Chainmail, leather apron, shield, spear, longsword
257. French squire 13c Padded, dagger
258. Mongolian foot officer 13c Lamellar, composite bow, scimitar
259. Mongolian archer 13c Lamellar, composite bow, 10 arrows
260. Mongolian heavy mounted archer 13c Lamellar, composite bow, 10 arrows, barding, scimitar
261. Mongolian light mounted archer 13c Leather, composite bow, 10 arrows, scimitar
262. German knight 13c Chainmail, shield, longsword
263. German knight 13c Chainmail, leather apron, shield, bastard sword, longsword
264. Berber archer 13c Shortbow, dagger, 20 arrows
265. Berber horseman 13c Shield, light lance, short sword, dagger
266. Spanish crossbowman 13c Mail shirt, shield, light crossbow, short sword
267. Byzantine footman 13c Shield, scimitar
268. Epirote Byzantine footman 14c Mail shirt, shield, composite bow, scimitar, spear
269. Byzantine Bulgarian footman 14c Mail shirt, shield, spear, scimitar
270. Mamluk Khassaki horseman 14c Lamellar, shield, longsword
271. Amir’s mamluk horseman 14c Light lance
272. Halqa trooper horseman 14c Lamellar breastplate, composite bow, handaxe, 10 arrows
273. Mamluk horse-archer 14c Padded, buckler, composite bow, 10 arrows, scimitar
274. Mamluk heavy horseman 14c Lamellar, battleaxe, short sword
275. Mongol refugee footman 14c Lamallar shirt, composite bow, spear, 10 arrows
276. Grenadine mounted crossbowman 14c Light crossbow, dagger
277. Grenadine qadi 14c Longsword, holy book
278. Grenadine light horseman 14c Mail shirt, buckler, spear, longsword
279. Hussite footman 14c Padded, shield, godentag, longsword
280. Hussite handgunner 14c Padded, shield, handgonne, longsword, dagger
281. French crossbowman 14c Mail shirt, shield, medium crossbow, dagger
282. French militiaman 14c Chainmail, shield, footman’s mace, dagger
283. Southern French light footman 14c Mail shirt, buckler, longsword, dagger
284. Serbian auxiliary horseman 14c Mail shirt + lamellar, composite bow, 10 arrows, light lance, longsword
285. Bulgarian auxiliary footman 14c Padded, composite bow, 10 arrows, scimitar, dagger
286. Western Russian light horseman 14c Chainmail + lamellar, shield, light lance, scimitar
287. Western Russian heavy horseman 14c Platemail, shield, bastard sword, barding
288. Novgorod urban horseman 14c Mail shirt, shield, battle axe, scimitar, composite bow
289. Turkish sipahi 14c Mail shirt, shield, horseman’s mace, composite bow, 10 arrows
290. Knight 14c Platemail, buckler, longsword
291. Swiss knight 14c Plate armor, heavy lance, longsword, dagger
292. Bohemian archer 14c Longbow, dagger, 20 arrows
293. German footman 14c Mail & plate, battleaxe, longsword, dagger
294. Central Italian horseman 14c Mail & plate, longsword, shield, dagger
295. German knight 14c Chainmail, longsword, shield, dagger
296. Catalan man-at-arms 14c Platemail, shield, longsword
297. North Italian footman 14c Mail shirt, shield, spear, dagger
298. North Italian crossbowman 14c Padded, buckler, light crossbow, short sword
299. Venetian footman 14c Mail & plate, shield, longsword
300. Lombard knight 14c Platemail, longsword, dagger

301. North Italian handgunner 14c Handgonne, dagger
302. Italian heavy footman 14c Platemail, glaive
303. Knight 14c Chainmail, shield, longsword, light lance
304. Footman 14c Chainmail, shield, spear, short sword
305. Crossbowman 14c Chain & scale, longsword, light crossbow, 10 bolts
306. English crossbowman 14c Mail shirt, heavy crossbow, dagger, 20 bolts
307. English archer 14c Padded, longbow, pole arm (guisarme), 20 arrows
308. Italian army commander 14c Chainmail, longsword
309. Austrian man-at-arms 14c Platemail, battleaxe, longsword, dagger
310. English bowman 14c Mail shirt, buckler, longbow, short sword
311. Footman 14c Platemail, shield, falchion, dagger
312. Byzantine light footman 14c Mail shirt, shield, spear, longsword
313. Byzantine horseman 14c Chainmail, shield, longsword, dagger
314. Golden Horde Mongol horseman 14c Lamellar, composite bow, scimitar, 20 arrows
315. English footman 14c Mail shirt, shield, bardiche, short sword
316. English footman 14c Mail shirt, shield, warhammer, short sword
317. English footman 14c Padded doublet, buckler, hand axe, dagger
318. West Anatolian footman 14c Chainmail, shield, spear, dagger
319. Ottoman Gazi 14c Lamellar, shield, composite bow
320. Turcoman tribal horseman 14c Padded, shield, composite bow, longsword
321. Timur’s cavalry officer 14c Chainmail, composite bow, light lance
322. Timur’s Tarkhan ‘hero’ 14c Platemail, composite bow, light lance, scimitar, barding
323. English longbowman 15c Unarmored, longbow, dagger, 40 arrows
324. Crossbowman 15c Padded, heavy crossbow, 10 bolts, shield, dagger
325. English archer 15c Mail shirt, longbow, longsword
326. Knight 15c Chainmail, shield, longsword, dagger
327. Handgunner 15c Mail shirt, handgonne, dagger
328. Mounted archer 15c Padded, longsword, short bow
329. Longbowman 15c Padded, dagger, longbow
330. Muscovite horse archer 15c Mail shirt, composite bow, scimitar, 20 arrows
331. Muscovite musketeer 15c Padded, musket, dagger
332. Muscovite officer 15c Platemail, buckler, scimitar
333. Danish man-at-arms 15c Platemail, longsword, dagger
334. Danish handgunner 15c Platemail, musket, warhammer
335. Danish militia crossbowman 15c Platemail, heavy crossbow, longsword, 10 bolts
336. Italian knight 15c Platemail, longsword, dagger
337. Italian light footman 15c Padded, shield, spear, longsword
338. Artilleryman 15c Padded, dagger, bombard
339. Eastern Russia horseman 15c Lamellar/mail, light lance, shield, scimitar
340. Eastern Russia prince on horse 15c Lamellar (gilded), longsword, dagger
341. Byzantine varangopoulos 15c Platemail, buckler, bastard sword
342. English guardsman 15c Chainmail, shield, pole axe, longsword
343. Cretan guardsman 15c Mail shirt, shield, spear, longsword
344. Knight 15c Plate mail, longsword
345. English man-at-arms 15c Plate armor, halberd, longsword
346. Knight 15c Plate armor, horseman’s mace, barding
347. Mounted crossbowman 15c Mail shirt, breastplate, light crossbow, longsword
348. Flemish mercenary footman 15c Platemail, pike, longsword
349. Ottoman-Balkan yaya 15c Padded, spear, scimitar, dagger
350. Ottoman footman 15c Chainmail, shield, hand axe, scimitar
351. Man-at-arms 15c Plate armor, glaive, longsword, dagger
352. Serbian knight 15c Platemail, shield, longsword
353. Balkan light horseman (stradiot) 15c Padded, buckler, light lance, scimitar
354. Balkan heavy horseman 15c Plate armor, scimitar
355. Balkan footman 15c Padded, shield, spear, longsword
356. Acemi Oglan 16c Musket, scimitar
357. Billman 16c Padded, billhook, longsword
358. Archer 16c Longbow, dagger
359. Soldier 16c Breastplate, polearm (guisarme), shortsword
360. Inca general 16c Shield, spear, light mace
361. Inca general 16c Spear, light mace
362. Inca warrior 16c Shield, battleaxe
363. Maya general 16c Spear
364. Maya warrior 16c Buckler, spear
365. Maya peasant levy 16c Buckler, sling
366. Aztec archer 16c Shield, shortbow
367. Aztec peasant levy 16c Shield, club, spear
368. Aztec allied captain 16c Pole arm
369. Mexica cuahchic 16c Buckler, obsidian axe-sword
370. Mexica warrior priest 16c Buckler, obsidian axe-sword
371. Triple Alliance warrior 16c Padded shirt, buckler, obsidian axe-sword
372. Triple Alliance jaguar warrior 16c Padded, buckler, obsidian axe-sword
373. Aztec soldier 16c Buckler, spear
374. Mexica captain 16c Padded, buckler, obsidian axe-sword
375. Spanish tercio 16c ¾ plate, shield, longsword (estoc)
376. Spanish musketeer 16c Padded shirt, longsword, musket
377. Spanish footman 16c Padded shirt, longsword, spear
378. Spanish hargulatie 16c Arquebus, pistol, longsword
379. Spanish lancer 16c ¾ plate, heavy lance, pistol, longsword
380. German reiter 16c ¾ plate, pistol, longsword
381. Spanish conquistador 16c Padded shirt, buckler, longsword
382. Aztec eagle warrior 16c Padded armor, shield, obsidian ax-sword
383. British petty-captain of foot 16c Mail shirt, ox tongue, longsword
384. British landsknecht captain 16c ¾ plate, spear, longsword
385. Irish auxiliary footman 16c Longsword, 2 javelins
386. Irish border horseman 16c Mail shirt, shield, light lance, dagger
387. Irish galloglass 16c Mail shirt, greatsword
388. Irish kern 16c Padded shirt, glaive
389. Polish hussar 16c ¾ plate (or banded), shield, pistol or dragon, scimitar
390. Polish musketeer 16c Mail shirt, scimitar, musketeer
391. Mamluk Khassaki 16c Chainmail, shield, battleaxe, scimitar
392. Mamluk Qaranis 16c Chainmail, composite bow, 20 arrows, spear
393. Mamluk African handgunner 16c Mail shirt, musket
394. British pikeman 16c Padded coat, pike, longsword
395. British demilance (horseman) 16c ¾ plate, light lance (demilance), longsword
396. British soldier 16c Godentag, longsword
397. British halberdier 16c ¾ plate, halberd, longsword
398. British archer 16c Longbow, dagger, 20 arrows
399. British captain of foot 16c ¾ plate, longsword, dagger
400. Irish gallowglass 16c Mail shirt, greatsword, dagger

401. Irish kern 16c Glaive, short sword
402. Cossack horseman 17c Chainmail, scimitar
403. Winged Tatar uhlan 17c Padded, spear, scimitar
404. Comman Tatar horseman 17c Composite bow, 20 arrows
405. Cossack 17c Musket, scimitar, bardiche or footman’s flail
406. Polish winged hussar 17c ½ plate (banded), heavy lance, scimitar, longsword
407. Ottoman imperial guardsman 17c Buckler, composite bow, scimitar, 20 arrows
408. Ottoman footman 17c Chainmail, spear, shield, short sword

Fashion of the Future!

Saw something interesting at Public Domain Review about the future of fashion. Actually, the imagined future of fashion in the 1890's based on a book from future (1993). W. Cade Gall, the author, found this book, which tells of the immutable laws that govern the waves that move through fashion.

Let's see what the future book tells us about fashion in the Roaring '20s

Hmmm. Pretty close

Now, here's what I think is usable (besides the images, which will figure prominently in what I write for Terra Obscura, the land of the Philosopher Kings in Nod) in the article.

Random Fashion Table
For the most part, when I write cultures in Nod I base them on real world cultures (or perceptions of real world cultures). Why? Because a thoroughly make-believe world requires the players to learn a tremendous amount of made up bullshit about things that don't exist, instead of them focusing on having fun drinking beer, rolling dice, and playing a game. That said, I do like to throw a few weird civilizations out there to keep things interesting, and the little table of waves might be useful for generating ideas about how they dress. The book conveniently gives us six waves - to whit:


1. Angustorial / Wobbling
2. Severe / Recuperative
3. Latorial / Decided
4. Tailor-Made / Opaque
5. Ebullient / Bizarre
6. Hysterical / Angustorial

The first term refers to the type, the second to the tendency. And no - I don't know what "the tendency" means for sure. And "angustorial" and "latorial" - I can't find definitions for those words. Perhaps they meant augustorial? Oh hell, maybe it's not that useful after all. Or perhaps I just need to make a few changes:

ROLL D6
1. August and senatorial style as dictated by the elite; many ornaments, rich fabrics (and lots of it) and textures, meant to look refined, stately and elegant
2. Severe and simple, a reaction to the previous style that is casual and not ornamental in the least, focusing on solid colors, simple fabrics and clean, classic lines
3. A loosening of styles, fuller and blowsier, with sedate patterns, with a bit more trim (but not the ornamentation of phase 1); fashion is highly dictated at this point, and weirdos are barely tolerated
4. Much as before, but quality is the watch word - clothes are tailor-made and well fitted, and no two suits or gowns are quite the same
5. Ebullience and joy reign supreme, as a new generation takes advantage of the loosening of rules and introduces doodads, geegaws and bright colors and patterns to the mix - Ah youth!
6. The ebullience of before becomes a hysterical riot of color and pattern, with over complicated and impractical designs and a high degree of ornamentation; even now, the elite are beginning to create the august style that will appear next ...

It Came from the Sky!

From HERE

Roll d30 if your players are futzing around in the wilderness boring you to death, and inflict one of the following random encounters on them ...

1. A silver bird dropping silver daggers (low quality, but useful given the plague of apparitions in the neighborhood)

2. A tiny meteorite (1% chance of hitting somebody)

3. The sound of trumpets (all LG characters receive bless for 24 hours)

4. Waves of crimson sound that warn of … Murder!

From HERE

5. A red dragon spelling out “Eat at Joes” in smoke

6. A green luminescence that causes all plant-life to grow wild (per entangle), causes 1 in 10 trees to turn into treants, and heals 1d6 points of damage to all living things

7. Acid rain (1d6 acid damage per round, item saves for objects, lasts 1d6 minutes)

8. A silver canister of the mi-go (holds the brain of a 1d4+3 level magic-user)

9. A frozen black sphere (when it thaws in one minute it becomes a black ooze)

10. 3 and 20 blackbirds, recently released from a pie and bent on revenge against humanity (treat as enraged bat swarm with 2 attacks per round)

From HERE

11. A flight of pegasi, willing to give good characters a lift (I won’t say exactly what they’ll do to the evil, but it involves gaining altitude first)

12. A senile old giant owl who has mistook the halfling or gnome for a giant rat

13. A WW1-era biplane with a confused pilot

14. A disk of glowing orange metal crewed by 20 ultra-troglodytes (troglodytes in shiny orange jumpsuits with bulging brains, genius IQ’s and psychic powers)

15. An errant catapult stone (1% chance it lands on a character, dealing 10d6 damage)

From HERE

16. A sylph floating gently to the ground, love in her eyes and a song in her heart - she is soon joined by many others, who put on an impromptu ballet until a bunch of satyrs show up to ruin everything

17. A flight of seven harpies with a barbed net

18. The head of a frost giant, recently knocked from its should a few miles away by the hammer of the mighty Thor (or whatever native giant species and thunder god works in your campaign)

19. Confetti – it rains for hours

20. A rain of frogs, thrown into the atmosphere by a water spout

21. Sky pirates on a flying clipper – they bungee down to attack and plunder

22. An angel of the Lord, with grave tidings – the nearest metropolis is to be laid low for its sins

23. Two dozen giant bees, looking for a new home, their old one having been sacked by a clan of werebears

24. A holy sword, which embeds itself in the ground; it can only be removed by the rightful
Emperor-Pope of All Paladins (first paladin to 20th level can claim it)

From HERE

25. A black comet that sends out waves of revulsion and decrepitude

26. A black cloud, moving fast and against the wind and carrying with it the sounds of a clash of swords – perhaps a combatant will wing down to pick up the adventurers as reinforcements

27. 15 bird men – they seek ornaments for their queen, who is brooding

28. The Imam of the Jinn, on a magic prayer rug (treat as magic carpet), seeking converts to the Lawful Neutral faith and warriors for his crusade against the efreet

29. Mana from heaven (treat as triple strength create food spell)

30. A storm giant’s castle on a floating island; it’s on a crash course that will cause havoc and destruction about one mile from here (and it creates one heck of a great dungeon to explore)

Found Under the Loose Dungeon Floor Tile ...

Before we get to the random table, I'd like to announce that Bloody Basic - Sinew & Steel Edition is now up for sale at Lulu.com as a PDF (the book will follow). This is basic role-playing without the magic - imagine if the original fantasy game had been based on the medieval war game rules without the fantasy supplement included.

Races are exchanged for Social Ranks, classes are Armsman, Scholar and Villein, and to make up for all the space normally taken up by spells, fantasy monsters and magic items, I included some simple rules for mass combat, sieges, jousting and archery tournaments. The rules are still pretty short, so the book only costs $6.99 - not too bad. Click on the title to check it out at Lulu.

I should get NOD 26 up for sale tonight as a PDF. When I get my review copies, the books will follow. More on that later.

And now, back to our regularly scheduled program ...

What I Found Under the Loose Dungeon Floor Tile (Roll d20)

1. A yawning abyss – it is cold, and light flute music can be heard from within it

2. A giant, leering eye

3. A rope loop – pull it to set off all the traps on this level of the dungeon

4. A wooden box – holds …
     A. The ashen remains of a vampire
     B. Mummy bandages
     C. Incense cubes – varying scents, one casts a cloudkill spell
     D. Candle stubs – one holds a key to an important room in this dungeon
     E. Chicken bones
     F. Shuriken, one is a +1 shuriken
     G. 1 week of iron rations
     H. A vial of holy water
     I. A collection of glass eyes
     J. Silver pince-nez

5. An iron strong box – holds …
     A. Copper coins – ancient and verdigrised
     B. Silver coins – all pierced and defaced
     C. Gold coins – the edges have been sharpened
     D. Silk handkerchiefs (5)
     E. A velvet glove (allows a single vampiric touch then decays into dust)
     F. Shards of delicious peanut brittle

6. Goop – smells terrible, stains skin and clothes muddy purple – treat as stinking cloud

7. Green slime – actually forms a layer under the entire floor, and will bubble up through the cracks at an inopportune time

8. Last will and testament of a high level adventurer

9. Map of a lower level (incomplete)

10. Intense light (save vs. blindness)

11. Nothing – but causes a steel cage to materialize around the adventurers

12. Nothing – but removing it causes the dungeon illusion the adventurers have been in to disappear, revealing they are in an alien laboratory (break out Star Frontiers!)

13. An oil slick (Texas tea!) - begins pouring up and soon covers most of this level of the dungeon (same effect as grease spell)

14. An intelligent +2 dagger with a note – the dagger will obey so long as its wielder commits to assassinating a local dignitary or royal within 1 week; turns into a -2 cursed dagger if this is not done

15. A long, narrow shaft to a pocket dungeon level or just a lower level of the dungeon

16. A grasping hand on a long arm (treat as a ghoul or wight)

17. A silver spike driven into the ground – it was driven into a vampire's heart, which will regenerate if the silver spike is removed

18. A carved stone that tells the dungeon’s history (or fills in gaps in the characters' knowledge)

19. Black tentacles (per the spell) erupt from the floor

20. A portal back to the dungeon entrance (works once, afterwards, it just sends people to random rooms on deeper levels)

Random Royal Thank You

When you've done the king or queen of a small kingdom a favor, it's only natural to expect a thank you. Just roll 3d8 (because how often do three d8's get to work together) and see what you get ...

3. Position as royal cup bearer with a 120 gp a year salary and weekends off

4. A night in the royal wine cellar – no questions asked

5. Right to kiss the queen’s hand

6. Entry into the lists at the next tournament

7. Box seat at the opera (and invitation to the post-opera ball)

8. The hand of a maid-in-waiting’s hand in marriage

9. An acre of land

10. A pension of 10 gp per year for the life of the king or queen

11. A gold medal (100 gp)

12. A place of honor at the next royal feast

13. A firm handshake (slipping you a platinum piece)

14. A garland of roses (and a necklace of silver roses worth 50 gp)

15. An adamantine weapon

16. A mithral shirt

17. An abandoned motte-and-bailey castle (a fixer-upper with no peasants and 1d6 acres of really crappy land)

18. Charter to a royal tin mine for one year (worth 1d12 gp per month, 1 in 6 chance of labor dispute per month)

19. Cloak of elvenkind

20. Suit of rich clothes and a fitting with the royal tailor

21. Invitation to the royal unicorn hunt

22. Dubbed a knight in a very minor and honorary order (with rights to lodge in their house and borrow money at 10% interest)

23. A very fine warhorse or riding horse (or pony)

24. A golden goblet studded with fancy stones (worth 300 gp)

Mercy Me, The Fantasy Ecology

Image found HERE

When scientists cracked the DNA code, and started re-mapping the Tree of Life, they found some pretty interesting things – animals one would not think were related, it turned out, actually were. It's amazing the way different animal families manage to fill ecological niches. Heck, just looking at a Chihuahua and Great Dane will tell you that life is pretty mutable.

This led me to thinking about how one could create weird, fantasy ecologies. Imagine categorizing animals into broad ecological niches – large predators, small predators, small scavengers, large grazers, for example – and then randomly picking from the various families of the animal kingdom to fill those niches. The next step would be hardest, of course – imagining how the selected animal family might fit into that niche. Of course, if you draw a feline for the large predator category, you can just stick in a tiger. But what about a large equine predator? What might that look like?

Okay – one note for what follows … it ain’t science. It’s an affront to science. The idea here is to stimulate one’s imagination and come up with a twisted ecology that will entertain and delight the people who play in your games. The below tables are designed to start with something you know, and then turn it into something you don’t. Insectivores will become herbivores and herbivores will become carnivores, etc. Have fun, use your imagination and if you have a few bucks in your pocket, commission and artist to bring your creation to life.

ECOLOGICAL NICHES
First, determine the sizes of the animals in you fantastic ecology. This is dependent on the availability of food in the environment, which itself is usually dependent on the availability of water. For marine environments, it should probably be based on the availability of sunlight (SUNNY-MEDIUM-DARK).

Tiny creatures will rarely serve as anything but a prop when running an adventure; unless they swarm or are poisonous they won’t threaten adventurers, and grand hunts are not organized to kill them. Hence, don’t worry about creating too many.

For each animal size, determine its general strategy for feeding itself by rolling 1d6 on the following table.

Carnivores eat meat, and will usually hunt for it or scavenge the kills of smaller creatures

Omnivores eat meat and plants, and might pose a danger to adventurers

Herbivores eat plants, and are usually only dangerous in large, stampeding herds; they do, on the other hand, serve as prey for adventurers

This will give you a variety of interesting animals that might be encountered (randomly, of course) in a region by adventurers. The point here is not to build an actual viable ecosystem, but rather to build a dangerous backdrop for exploration and adventure. Naturally, you’ll want to fill out a random encounter table with more fantastic monsters as well.

To determine what fills the niche, roll on the tables below. These tables are designed to produce something weird, so keep that in mind.

ANIMAL FAMILIES (LAND) – Roll D%

01-02. Aardvarks
03-04. Anapsida – turtles
05-06. Ants
07-08. Anura – frogs and toads
09-10. Apoidea – bees and wasps
11-12. Arachnids – spiders and scorpions
13-14. Bats
15-17. Birds – I could be more specific, but I like the possibilities of throwing them all into one category
18-20. Bovines – including cattle, goats, sheep, musk oxen and antelopes
21-22. Caelifera – grasshoppers, locusts, crickets and katydids
23-24. Camels – including llamas
25-27. Canines – wolves, dogs and foxes
28-29. Caudata – salamanders and newts
30-31. Coleoptera – beetles and weevils
32-33. Crocodilians – crocodiles and alligators
34-35. Dinosaurs – you should have no problem fitting them into any ecological niche
36-37. Diptera – flies, mosquitoes, gnats, and midges
38-39. Equines – including horses, asses, and zebras
40-42. Felines –cats, including the related sabre-toothed paleofelines
43-44. Hippopotamuses
45-46. Hyenas
47-48. Insectivores – including moles, shrews, hedgehogs, and moonrats
49-50. Lepidoptera – butterflies and moths
51-53. Lizards
54-55. Mantises
56-57. Marsupials – kangaroos, wombats, opossums
58-59. Mongooses and linsangs
60. Monsters – mythological beasts
61-62. Mustelids – weasels, badgers, otters, wolverines and the related skunks
63-64. Odonata – dragonflies and damselflies (dragons and damsels – funny)
65-66. Pangolins
67-68. Pecora – deer, giraffes, okapis, pronghorns
69-70. Pilosa – including sloths, extinct ground sloths and anteaters
71-72. Pinnipeds – seals and walruses
73-74. Primates – including lemurs, monkeys, apes and humans
75-76. Proboscids – elephants, mammoths and mastodons
77-78. Raccoons
79-80. Rhinoceroses
81-83. Rodents – rats, squirrels, guinea pigs, hamsters, porcupines and capybara!
84. Snails
85-86. Snakes
87-88. Swine – including peccaries
89-90. Synapsida – mammal-like reptiles from the primordial world
91-92. Tachyglossids – including echidnas and platypuses
93-94. Tapirs
95-96. Ursines – bears, including the extinct bear-dogs
97-98. Viverrids – civets
99-100. Worms

ANIMAL FAMILIES (SEA) – Roll D30

1-2. Cephalods – including octopuses, squids and cuttlefish
3-4. Cetaceans
5-6. Crustaceans – lobsters and crabs
7-8. Dinosaurs
9-10. Eels
11-12. Jellyfish
13-14. Lampreys
15-16. Manatees and sea cows
17-18. Monsters – fantastic creatures
19-20. Osteichthys – bony fish – i.e. fish with bone skeletons rather than cartilage
21-22. Placodermi – armored fish
23-24. Sharks and rays – including ghostsharks
25-26. Shrimp
27-28. Turtles
29-30. Roll on land table and adapt to marine environment

To help you along, you can consult the following table listing existing animals in each niche, modeling your make-believe animal on the survival techniques of a real animal.

EXAMPLE: WEIRD SAVANNAH

My weird savannah is dominated by tall, broad herbivores descended from crocodiles. They have short snouts and thick tongues that pull in grasses. Mostly slow and ponderous, they retain their crocodilian patience and ability to generate a short burst of speed. The grazing tortoises are about the size of water buffalo, with shells that are spiked, providing a means of defense. The savannah is also grazed on by wombat-like creatures that resemble long-legged, antelopes. The swiftest herbivores on the savannah are medium-sized descendants of rhinos; they look like springboks with rough, rhino-like skin and small horns on their foreheads. Seeds on the savannah are collected by sparrow-sized dragonflies and a rodent that resembles a cane rat.

The only true carnivore on the savannah is a burrowing, carnivorous hedgehog that preys on the rodents and dragonflies. Packs of these creatures prey on such creatures as the long-fingered and ring-tailed raccoons that live in colonies in large trees and the small anteaters that scurry among the tall grasses. The savannah also has a wolf-sized feline that feeds on smaller animals and the long, purple fruit that grows on the savannah trees, and a panther-sized arachnid that hunts at night in small prides.

Gads of Goblin Goodies

Goblinoids, especially the lesser versions of kobolds, goblins, orcs and hobgoblins, are crawling all over the average fantasy world. They make great opponents to low-level parties, and in large masses are pretty good against mid-level parties. Eventually, though, their usefulness either runs out, or you and your players just get plain sick and tired of them.

So, how about 100 little modifications you can use to spice up these well-worn monsters?

You can use these to change entire tribes or war bands, or just to spice up individual goblins to make them a bit more distinct and to play up their ties to Chaos.

Enjoy!

Mutations

1. Acid spit – resistance to acid, bite attack +1d6 acid, +1 to sunder items
2. Ape arms – move faster on all fours
3. Bat ears – huge, flapping ears allow fly speed (slow)
4. Big lungs – hold breath longer, +1 save vs. exhaustion
5. Black skin - +1 to hide and surprise in dark areas
6. Boar tusks – gore attack (1d4)
7. Bouncy – jump
8. Cat’s Eyes - +1 to reflex saves, +1 to missile attacks
9. Croc tail – tail attack, save vs. trip
10. Crusty - +1 AC
11. Death saliva – poisonous bite, +1d6 poison damage, can spit 10 feet
12. Dynamo – shocking grasp once per three rounds
13. Evil eye – bestow curse with gaze attack
14. Extra brain – higher intelligence level, +2 to will saves
15. Extra heart - +1 hit point per hit dice, +1 save vs. exhaustion
16. Four arms – extra attack and shield
17. Frog tongue – 10-ft ranged attack to grab items
18. Fullback - +2 to bull rush attacks
19. Gnarled - +2 AC
20. Goblin-queen – remarkably attractive … but no less evil
21. Goliath – one size category larger, but one intelligence level lower
22. Greasy – can slide at double speed down grades, +2 save vs. grapple
23. Green skin - +1 to hide and surprise in woodland environments
24. Hairy - +1 AC, resistance to cold, +1 damage per die from fire
25. Halitosis – breath weapon – 5-ft cone – every three rounds – save vs. nausea
26. Hammer fists – increased unarmed damage and grapple attack
27. Head ridges – head butt attack
28. Hook claws – claw attack, +1 to disarm and grapple attacks
29. Horns – gore attack (1d6)
30. Hound dog – knack for tracking
31. Iron stomach - +1 save vs. poison
32. Lantern-eyes – beams of light can blind
33. Monkey tail – prehensile
34. Nose spike – gore attack (1d3)
35. Pitch-skin – flammable skin, immune to fire
36. Puffer – can blow up, knocking people back, no damage from bludgeoning weapons, piercing weapons can puncture
37. Radioactive – all within 10 feet much pass a fort save or be nauseated; miss by 5 or more energy damage
38. Razor teeth – bite attack, and save or grappled
39. Rooky – crow wings to fly, crow beak to peck
40. Runt – one size category smaller, but one intelligence level higher, chance of spells
41. Scaled - +3 AC
42. Speed demon - +10 speed
43. Spikey – damage from grapple, or when struck by natural weapons
44. Spy – passes for human
45. Stinker – troglodyte stench ability
46. Third eye – immune to illusions
47. Translucent – big bonus to hide and surprise
48. Troll-blood – regenerate 1 hit point per round
49. Wall crawler – climb speed
50. Weird – first level psychic power (offensive, of course)
51. White skin - +1 to hide and surprise in arctic environments
52. Wolf ears - +2 to listen at doors, surprised on d8
53. Wormy – gnaw through stone (burrow 10)

Professions

54. Acrobatic - +2 to reflex saves, slow fall as monk
55. Backstabber – attack, hit points and abilities of first level assassin, one vial of poison
56. Berserker – 2 attacks per round
57. Black knight – weird sense of honor, warhorse, lance, platemail, pennons, squires from lesser goblin race
58. Brigands – brigandine armor (studded leather), longbows, surprise in woods
59. Bushwhacker – attack, hit points and abilities of first level scout, longbow
60. Dark Lord’s man - +1 to hit, upgrade armor and weapons
61. Desert Rat – unaffected by heat and sand movement, +1 bonus vs. fire
62. Evil High Priest’s man - +1 bonus to save vs. cleric spells, chance of 0-level orison
63. Hexenhammer - +2 save vs. spells, 1d6 bolts with silence cast on them, light crossbow, warhammer
64. Hoary – extra hit dice, +1 to will saves
65. Ice Demon – unaffected by cold and ice movement, +1 bonus vs. cold
66. Necromancer’s man - +1 bonus to save vs. magic-user spells
67. Pickin’ and Grinnin’ – attack, hit points and abilities of first level bard, banjo
68. Pilferer – attack, hit points and abilities of first level thief, thieves’ tools
69. Psycho – 2 attacks per round, immune to fear, max hit points, immune to confusion
70. Savage – attack, hit points and abilities of first level barbarian, greataxe
71. Sea Wolf – swim speed, hold breath like lizard man
72. Thugee – attack, hit points and abilities of first level assassin plus four 0-level cleric spells
73. Veteran – attack, hit points and abilities of first level fighter, platemail
74. Warrior princess – females, studded leather, falchions, chakram, ululating battle cries (save vs. fear)

Equipment

75. Amazon – female, longbow, short sword, breastplate
76. Boar rider – rides a battle boar
77. Blitzkrieg – chainmail, spiked tower shield, short sword
78. Cannonball – small cannon – spiked platemail – launches self into battle, 10% chance of living through the experience with 1 hp
79. Canter – 1d6 magic-user scrolls (can cast them), robes, curvy dagger (+1 damage)
80. Costermonger – looks like ugly old man or woman, sells poisonous or magic apples
81. Dashing – leather armor, rapier, ruffles and bows and feathers in wide-brimmed hat, leering eye
82. Fire-breather – petrol, torch, resistance to fire, once per round 5-ft cone of fire (1d6), or 10-ft cone every other round
83. Fire bug – 1d6 alchemist’s fire, leather armor
84. Flailer – great flail (double damage) – attack by hurling self 10 feet, once every two rounds
85. Hacker – black hood, great axe or executioner’s sword (+1 damage), leather armor, dagger
86. Hammerer – great hammer (higher damage) – hurl up to 20 feet once every two rounds
87. Infiltrator – padded armor, silk slippers (+1 to move silently), three daggers, hand crossbow
88. Kamikaze – bat-winged glider, goggles, devil-may care attitude, catapult launch (if necessary), dagger
89. Magic hat – can produce a spell effect from hat, must make Will save to make it work, 10% chance of random spell of level 1d4
90. Plunderer – light warhorse, leather armor, composite bow, short sword, knack for riding
91. Porcupine – spiked scale mail, spiked club, spiked gauntlets
92. Rhino rider – rides a battle rhino
93. Ronin – splint mail, grotesque mask and great helm, scimitar and dagger
94. Sapper – heavy pick, mining helmet, leather armor, dagger, 1d6 bombs, goggles
95. Sea dog – blunderbuss, leather armor, hook hand, dagger in teeth
96. Slimer – 1d6 glass spheres of green slime, +1 bonus to save vs. acid and slimes
97. Tinker – armorer’s tools, portable anvil
98. Twister – two chains, chainmail, chain letter tucked into belt
99. Swineherd – two boars on a chain
100. Wolf pack – two wolves on a chain

Who's Under that Mask?

You've fought your way into the evil lord's citadel or the inner sanctum of the chaos cult. You've eliminated the guards. You are locked in battle with the masked overlord of all evil and in a brief pause in the fighting reach out and snatch away their mask. You gasp as you see ...

1-2. The Archduke or Archduchess

3-4. Your doppelganger (literally, a doppelganger in your form)

5-6. A faceless horror, or something with tentacles so the party can say, "Seriously, more Lovecraft?"

7-8. A goblin (he's standing on another goblin's shoulders)

9-10. Your old teacher

11-12. Your ex-lover or ex-mate or ex-best friend who always secretly resented you

13-14. Your mom!

15-16. The captain of the guard

17-18. The sergeant of the guard

19-20. Second man-at-arms from the left at the front gate who, now that you think of it, was giving you a funny look when you entered the city

21-22. The hunchbacked hedge wizard who hawks magic charms in the town square - turns out he's a 15th level magic-user

23-24. The high priest of the local Law Cult

25-26. The pirate lord of the western seas

27-28. The queen of the gypsies

29-30. A sleestak

31-32. A mannequin [gasp]

33-34. The mummified face of some the ancient pharaoh on display in the museum

35-36. Nosferatu!

37-38. The princess royal

39-40. A ghoul [chomp]

41-42. Your evil twin brother or sister who was thought to have died in the barn fire

43-44. The head of the local merchant company

45-46. The local guildmaster of thieves

47-48. A bearded devil

49-50. A polymorphed fire giant, and that mask was what kept the spell in play

51-52. A brilliant light (choose a color) in place of a head that messes with your mind

53-54. A succubus - pucker up!

55-56. A tangle of vines and two emerald orbs for eyes

57-58. An elf lady knight from the far woodlands

59-60. A flesh golem with a psychic's disembodied brain sutured to its head

61-62. A serpent man with a cobra's ability to spit

63-64. The undying caveman

65-66. A grey alien with a headband of pain of dominance

67-68. A 15th level amazon

69-70. The wizened old magic-user you thought was your greatest ally

71-72. The dark pope of the holy assassins

73-74. A demi-god or goddess

75-76. A quasi-god or goddess

77-78. A primordial ooze thing that collapses into a blob of destruction

79-80. That dummy used by the seemingly harmless bard in the local tavern

81-82. A super-intelligent gorilla

83-84. A really stupid and confused gorilla

85-86. A heavily scarred visage

87-88. The twisted face of a maniac

89-90. A 15th level duelist who is actually left-handed

91-92. The emperor everyone thought was lost

93-94. The mad genius that designed the automaton palace guards

95-96. An astral deva that has taken Lawful Good to an unhealthy level

97-98. The Riddler (unfortunately, as played by John Astin, not Frank Gorshin)

99-100. The robe collapses, because the meme has been revealed

Horses Are Sooooo 1978

Or whenever the paladin was first published. I wanted to be clever with the title, but not to the degree that I was going to do five seconds of research with Google.

Paladins, at 5th level, can undertake a quest to obtain a very intelligent mount. Depending on the edition you play, this mount either hangs out with you all the time and sorta requires you to hire a groom or page or whatever to look out for it when you're in a dungeon, or it just pops into existence whenever it is convenient. You can probably guess which concept I like better.

But what if ... what if there were more options than that super-clever wonder horse? Well, how about these ...

(Use as inspiration, or roll randomly with a D12)

1. Mechanical Warhorse - requires a quest to settle a grudge for the Dwarf King, who forged the horse in his own workshop. Just combine an automaton and a heavy warhorse to get the stats. For anti-paladins, the mechanical warhorse is grey and spiky.

2. Putti - I think I did stats for these fellows once (you know, the chubby, winged babies people mistakenly call cherubs or cupids), if not, just make them Lawful (LG) imps. For anti-paladins, just use an imp.

3. Unicorn - but only if the paladin is female. For anti-paladins ... not sure.

4. Aasimar Squire - 4 HD, of course. For anti-paladins, a tiefling picaroon.

5. Blink Dog - maybe the quest involves rescuing it from a giant's kennels. For anti-paladins, a shadow mastiffs.

6. Halo - actually a lantern archon with 4 HD that oftens hangs out around the paladin's noggin. For anti-paladins, just craft a red-hued evil version of the lantern archon.

7. Relic - the relic is the skull of a cleric which the paladin can communicate with telepathically, and which can cast spells as a 4th level cleric (though not touch spells, obviously).

8. Choir - a choir of four 1 HD lay priests who can chant (as the spell) and inspire (as bards). For anti-paladins, four 1 HD flaggelants with scourges who do the same.

9. Gold Wyrmling - precocious, of course. For anti-paladins, a red wyrmling.

10. Brownie Knight - gained by embarking on a quest for the Fairy Queen, a bit of a curmudgeon. For anti-paladins, a spriggan thug of the Unseelie Court.

11. Elven Sage - an old codger with silver hair who can cast spells as an adept (venerable master). For anti-paladins, a drow alchemist who may or may not be trying to poison their master.

12. Reformed Prostitute - a prostitute who has seen the light and can cast spells as an adept (venerable master; note, the prostitute is not venerable in terms of age, but in terms of the blessings bestowed upon him or her). For anti-paladins, a fallen, alcoholic friar or nun.

Building Better Henchmen [Blood & Treasure]

Do you like random tables? I do.

Do you like henchmen? I do.

Do you like random henchmen? I hope so ...

The following tables can be used to make more interesting, if not useful, henchmen for your classic fantasy game. I think I might adapt these to ACTION X and use them as the default for minions.

Note - for those who don't play Blood & Treasure (yes, I'm aware that's 99.99999999% of all gamers), treat a "knack" as succeeding on a roll of 1-2 on 1d6, or as a flat +3 bonus to skill checks

TABLE THE FIRST - HENCHMAN PERSONALITY

1. Sniveling coward - has move of 40 and must check morale before each fight

2. Greedy bastard - tries to steal treasure at every turn

3. Junior paladin - braver and more heroic than he/she should be, but also a Lawful (Good) moralist about things

4. Dastardly spy - working for an opposing group of adventurers, making a map and reporting back

5. Secret cultist - member of a secret chaos cult, will betray the party if possible

6. Sword-for-hire - has to be paid (1x6 x 5 gp) for sticking his neck out, but +1 to hit with swords

7. Old veteran - a bit slower (move 20), but good at solving puzzles

8. Pack mule - can carry 150% normal weight, tends to be quiet and dull

9. Rebellious princess - (or prince) a rich brat who wants adventure but is still in the aristocratic mindset, has a tendency to complain and command

10. Rugged he-man - or she-woman; strong, brave and competent and a bit arrogant

11. Mother hen - very concerned about the adventurers and their health and well-being

12. Hyper-active - gets bored easily, often moves off on his own (especially when carrying something important)

13. Lucky duck - +2 bonus on all saving throws; lucky and knows it

14. Rakish devil - hits on the opposite sex, makes lascivious innuendos at the drop of a hat, has an over-fondness for booze

15. Death magnet - 1 in 6 chance that any random bad thing happens to this poor slob, but they enjoy a +2 bonus to all saving throws

16. Terrible jinx - increases chance of random monster encounters by 1 (or 5%), imposes a -1 penalty to saving throws for all in the party by their mere presence

17. Lazy complainer - move rate of 20, like to rest once per hour, complains about physical exertion, eats double rations

18. Delusions of grandeur - claims skills he or she does not have

19-20. Mundane henchmen - nothing special at all about this henchman

TABLE THE SECOND - HENCHMEN SKILLS

1. Academic - knack at deciphering and appraising the value of goods

2. Acolyte - can cast 1d4 zero-level cleric spells, each once per day; charges double

3. Acrobat - knack for jumping and ???

4. Animal Handler - knack for riding and taming animals

5. Apprentice - can cast 1d4 zero-level magic-user spells, each once per day; charges double

6. Athlete - knack at climbing walls and swimming

7. Deceiver - knack at forgery and disguise

8. Investigator - knack and finding traps and discerning alignment

9. Negotiator - +2 bonus to reaction checks if does the talking and knack for discerning alignment

10. Pick Pocket - knack at move silently and pick pockets

11. Rogue - can backstab for x2 damage once per day, knack at thief skills; charges double

12. Savage - berserker in combat, knack at barbarian skills, comes with loincloth, shield and spear; charges double

13. Sentinel - knack for finding secret doors and listening at doors

14. Shadow - knack for move silently and hide in shadows

15. Spelunker - darkvision to a range of 30 feet, dwarf knacks

16. Survivor - knack at survival and climbing walls

17. Swordsman - has one combat feat of the TK's choice and comes with chainmail, shield and hand weapon; charges double

18. Thugee - can backstab for +2 damage and use poison safely, knack at assassin skills, comes with black leather armor and two daggers; charges double

19. Whirling Dervish - can attack twice per round with melee weapons, comes with leather armor, short sword and dagger; charges double

20. Woodsman - +1 to hit animals, knack at ranger skills, comes with leather armor, longbow and short sword; charges double

PAY SCALE

Just thought of this. What if the henchman's pay scale determines what they'll do ...

Copper a day - will carry torches and bags, but will not fight

Silver a day - as above, plus will fight in second rank

Gold a day - as above, plus will fight in front rank

Platinum a day - as above, plus will check for traps and go into rooms first

You Pull the Lever and ...

1. It electrifies just enough to hold your hand tight and inflict 1 point of electricity damage per round.

2. Your hand sticks to it ... you just grabbed a mimic, buddy.

3. It comes out of the wall with a shower of sparks.

4. Your fingers tingle and then begin changing to stone (save vs. petrification); if this save fails, it begins to affect your arm (another save), etc.

5. Loud bells begin ringing, shaking dust from the ceiling and alerting all monsters on the level to your presence; some come running for a free-for-all, while others begin setting traps.

6. The floor opens beneath you (10-ft. pit; 50% chance of spikes; 25% chance of water; 10% chance of a crocodile; 5% chance of 4 skeletons; 1% chance of a magic item).

7. The floor opens beneath you (chute down to next dungeon level).

8. The ceiling opens above you, water pours down (1d4 damage).

9. The ceiling opens above you, green slime pours down.

10. The wall falls down, revealing a treasure room.

11. The wall falls down, revealing a clutch of rust monsters.

12. The walls falls down ... on you (save or crushed for 2d10 damage).

13. Iron walls rise from the floor to block all exits, poisonous gas begins filling room.

14. You teleport to a random location on this dungeon level.

15. You teleport to a random location on a lower dungeon level.

16. You teleport back to the surface.

17. The room makes a 180-degree turn (save or knocked prone on floor); you are now in a mirror universe.

18. You gain the ability to use one random 1st level magic-user spell, one time. On a second pull, you gain a spell, but only if it can be plucked from the mind of a comrade. On a third try, you lose any spells you had memorized/prepared. On a fourth try, you summon a marilith demon, because seriously, how many damn times are you going to pull this lever?

19. You change into a random animal with as many hit dice as you have levels; your own mind is submerged beneath the psyche of the beast; this change lasts for 10 minutes.

20. You turn off all lights in the room (torches, light spells, etc.) off; pulling again reverses this.

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I know, been a while. Very busy at work, also busy writing NOD Companion and Action X - which don't lend themselves to excerpts just yet. I have a few posts planned for this week, though, so hang in there with me.