Saying Goodbye

Well, it looks like we are saying goodbye to 2006. What a year. We are celebrating the new year in style at our home. Mary is on the couch sleeping and I am wondering why I am still awake. I guess I will post this and go to bed.

2007 means a fresh start for me. What was I doing this time last year? I was at home with a pregnant wife who had just miscarried one baby from a set of twins. The first complication of a pregnancy marred by them.

What am I doing this year? Sitting at home hoping for a beautiful child to come from a pregnancy fraught with worry-filled, sleepless nights and no complications, thankfully. We should have known there was a great chance that this pregnancy would be normal. Only after everything that has happened with Robert we cannot think about pregnancy in a normal way.

So on to new things. I am not sad to say goodbye to 2006. And every time I say that I hurt a little. How can I possible forget 2006?

How can I forget Robert? It is not possible. He will always be in my heart. I don't ever want to forget about him. I hope to forget the pain, though. Christmas has been hard. I think about him all the time. I have been to the cemetery three times in less than a week. It has been a while since that was my routine.

How can I forget the goodness I have experienced? We had many reach out to us. We had so many praying for us. I prayed with a concentration born of an extreme situation. I have never felt the power of prayer more often than I have in the last year. Prayer is an indescribably powerful feeling. I believe in now more than ever.

How can I forget how my faith has changed? Robert's birth and death strengthened my faith. I cannot explain exactly how that happened. I did not ask for Robert to die. I prayed that he would not. But he died. And still I felt God's mercy. God does not shield us from every hurt. God gives us strength and His grace to learn, live, and find faith.

But it is time to let go of 2006 and welcome in 2007, my conflicting feelings notwithstanding.

In the end, I am grateful for my friends and family. I could not have pulled through without them. I am grateful for three children. People who meet me will assume I have only two, but all three of them mean so much to me. I am especially grateful and awed by the strength and power of my wife. She is the person that I admire and respect most. 2006 has been hard for both of us. But we are still here. We are still together. And there is still much more for us to do together, I believe. And I love her dearly.

I wish you all a happy new year. It is time to bring on 2007.

Entering the Confessional

Father, I have sinned. I covet Caleb's toy cars. But not just any Hot Wheels cars, only his Cars the Movie cars. I love the movie and the cars are impossibly cool. I know I should not do this, but I cannot help myself.

Over the last eight or nine months, Caleb's parents have purchased many of the cars. Sure, he may be missing brand new Mater, Hamm, or Dirt Track Lightening, but he has tons of them. How often have you seen Guido, Luigi, Buzz, and Woody in a collection?
You may be able to relate to this post more than you care to admit if you know the names of all the cars in these pictures off the top of your head. The other litmus test is if you can discuss which other cars should have been included. (Why they did not make a Tex or Mrs. The King is beyond me. I mean they have a Woody Wagon, but not Tex. How?)

Let's Go Fly a Kite

Two weeks ago, Grace disappeared to work on a project. Mary and I have given up guessing what a given project will be. She may make a story, a picture, a huge ball of tape. We were surprised when she walked out with papers stapled together looking very much like a kite. We asked her what it was. She said it was a kite named Bessie. She asked me to help rig up a kite string, so she could fly her "indoor kite" (her words). We found some pink yarn. In order for it to fly, we taped it to a built-in cabinet. You can see her working the kite in the breeze. It is at times like this that I wish I was Rebecca Mudrick. I would love to see what she could get out of Grace on a day like today. After Bessie joined the family, Grace worked up a couple of relatives for her. Below is a picture of Henry. And this last one is Hannah. Did I mention that she has an active imagination?

I'm Clean!

Grandma sent some 3-D Glitter Paint Pens for Christmas. Any reason to do an art project is acceptable for Grace. So last night, she and Caleb made some pictures. (Grace's favorite picture is in the upper left corner.) Caleb's picture (lower right corner) was done more with his hands than with the pens. After the painting, we asked him to wash his hands. He did it once. We looked at them and sent him back to the bathroom. After this washing, it was my turn for inspection duty. I looked at his hands and noticed that there was a bit of glitter left on them.

I wanted to impress upon him that he could do a better job washing. As I showed him the glitter I pointedly asked, "Caleb, what is this?"

Caleb looked at the glitter and shouted with glee, "I'M ALL SPARKLY CLEAN."

I was laughing so hard at this comment that I could not make him go wash his hands again.

Okay, So I'm Biased

But I think Grace and Caleb are cute kids. Here are a couple of pictures after church last Sunday when they were all dressed up.

Achieving Our Goals

When people asked me what I was doing this Christmas vacation, I had one of two answers ready. Depending on the day, I replied with one of the following:

"Sit on our rear ends and watch them get bigger."

"Find a way to sleep in one day."

It has been a long time since I really slept in. Young children are not conducive to sleeping in. But today, we achieved this goal. I really did not sleep in that long. I got up with the children but managed to fall back asleep. I got back up around 9:20 and the family finished eating breakfast at 9:48. Usually we are wrapping up at 8:00 am on a late morning.

After breakfast, Caleb came up to me and said, "Dad, can we please snuggle?"

So, we had a late breakfast and then went right back to bed. There is nothing quite like the glow you feel when you have achieved the goals you set.

(Or maybe it is a great feeling to spend a lot of time in bed.)

What's in a Name?

Everyone has favorites. Oliver's favorite child is Clara. Dale only needs Costco for his existence to be complete. Caleb loves his blankets more than anything else. Basketball is the drug I constantly crave. And when Mary needs something or is feeling down, you know Target will brighten her day.

The funny thing about Target is how most people pronounce it. It used to be called Target. Today it seems most people call it Tarzhay. I refer to it as "The Zhay". How often does the name of a commercial entity get changed so universally?

This thought was in the back of my mind as I was riding the bus one day. Could you imagine my surprise when a mother started calling for her son by saying, "Tarzhay"? I could not be sure, but that was either his given name or nickname. I have since ridden the bus a few times with them and she always calls him the same name.

How many commercial entities can turn into names? When will someone named Espn marry Tarzhay? Wouldn't that be a match made in (advertiser's) heaven?

Yesterday

(Sing with me.)

All my troubles seemed so far away
Now it looks as though they're here to stay
Oh, I believe in yesterday

Yesterday we had to stop by The Zhay for post-Christmas errands. We made our purchases and ran to the square to drop by the bank. While we were there, we decided Chinese was in order. This is a delicate proposition when we are out with our children. Could we get them to eat out and behave? Also, this was our favorite Chinese restaurant back in the student days.

We walked into the restaurant and got a table for four near the back. That was good. The server got our drinks quickly and the shredded beef Szechuan style was the lunch special of the day. Things were looking up since that was exactly what I was craving.

We ordered four dishes with wonton soup and egg rolls. Grace tried her wonton soup without prompting. Caleb and Grace each ate some of their egg rolls. Lunch came and they loaded up on orange chicken and rice and then devoured it. Both of them tried to use their chopsticks and did so responsibly without making a mess. A revolution was going on in the back of the Chinese restaurant and I am not sure enough people knew about it. We walked out shocked and proud of the way they conducted themselves.

On the way home, Caleb asked if we could stop by the cemetery to see Robert. We agreed and headed there. As we were nearing Robert's grave site, my heart sank. A service was going on. The children know how to behave in a cemetery but it has not been easy to teach them. Children love to run and climb. Running and climbing on a headstone or marker are taboo in cemeteries. It has been a struggle for them to understand and remember this (especially Caleb).

As we walked over, both Grace and Caleb stayed close by us. We went over to Robert's marker and chatted quietly for a couple of minutes. Caleb sang Robert a little song that he made up about Christmas and Hanukkah. Then we walked over to the car as the graveside service was finishing up. The children were respectful and stayed with us.

As we drove out of the cemetery, I could not be more proud of them. It is hard to see my children grow up, but when they do all the right things I could not be happier. They are understanding the lessons we are trying to teach them. Elation falls short of describing what I was feeling.

Then I remembered that the new baby is due in only six more weeks. We are so excited for the impending birth, but logistically this day could not have happened with a newborn along. So I guess for every great tomorrow, we trade something from yesterday.

And yesterday is the day that we are trading in order to be able to hold a newborn and love that child. A trade we will willing make, but we still can't wait to find more of these kinds of days sometime in the future.

Could It Be Any Easier?

Each child seems to be incredibly adept at certain things. Caleb is an amazing sleeper. This is especially true of nap time.

When it is time to go to bed at night, he does know how to stall. Yet, he never stalls before nap time and he is even old enough to give it up. Why why would we want him to give it up when this is how he went down today?

"Caleb, it is time for your nap."

"Okay. Dad can we go run errands after my nap?"

"Sure, let's give Mom a kiss before I put you down."

"Okay." Caleb kissed Mary.

Then I took him into his bedroom and laid him down. His blankets were not there, so I went and found them. After I gave them to him, I kissed him.

Then Caleb said, "Dad, leave my blinds up."

"Okay," I said.

Then I left. The blinds are up. The light is coming in. His train table is in his room. You would think he would play. You would be wrong. He has not left his bed and fell asleep within a minute or two of me leaving. Almost every day nap time is that difficult. Sometimes it is easier because his blankets are already in his bed. At times he will remind us that he needs to take a nap.

It really should not be this easy.

(Well, life is not always this easy with him. Just nap time. But we sure do appreciate that.)

I've Seen a Spectre

My brother recommended a website to me recently. He is into all different kinds of music. I checked out the video for Fidelity and thought the music was good. (Click on videos. It will begin to play eventually.)

I think she is doing a couple of cool things musically. I am not sure that I would love listening to a lot of songs in this style, but I like a couple of them (particularly, Fidelity and Better). My brother really likes Samson.

Christmas and Grace

Grace is also excited for Christmas. Here are a few stories about her:

1) Grace loves our calendar. We keep track of the days of the week and major holidays. Grace loves to countdown the days until Christmas. Each day she corrects Caleb and counts down for him.

2) Grace loves to organize; it is in her blood. She is constantly moving the presents under the tree to make sure they are sorted and ordered appropriately. Fortunately, we have only had six present under the tree for most of the season.

She also loves to organize our nativities. We only have four of them and she can reach three. Recently, she set all of them up in the baby's room. Fortunately, we are not at my parents' house this year. I would have heart failure if she tried to organize and rearrange their nativities.

3) Grace and Santa have had a rocky relationship. When she was small, Santa scared her. We have some great pictures of her screaming on Santa's lap. Last year, she made a break through and sat on his lap. She reverted back to old habits this year.

She would not sit on his lap "because she was scared", which did not make sense. Now why would a child not want to sit on Santa's lap when she knows Santa will bring presents? Her answer would be: What if you don't know what you want for Christmas? Grace did not know what she wanted for Christmas, so she would not sit on his lap.

(It is hard for her to know what to ask for since she doesn't play with toys. Santa should bring her markers, paper, a stapler, and some tape. She would love that.)

4) Mary has read "The Christmas Miracle of Jonathan Toomey" to Grace and Caleb a number of times. At the beginning of the story, Mr. Toomey is not overly fond of Christmas, even a little Scrooge-ish. But a little boy helps him enjoy Christmas. There are many good Christmas themes in this book, but what is the line Grace and Caleb repeat from this book?

"Christmas is pish-posh."

You never know what your children will get from a story.

Christmas and Caleb (Updated)

Caleb is 3-years old. It would be difficult to imagine him more excited for Christmas. Four stories serve as illustrations:

1) We have a small Christmas tree. We thought it should have some presents under it, so there have been about six presents under the tree. For the last two weeks, Caleb would take the presents and find the two that have his name on it. Then he will ask if he can open them.

That gets a no.

How about take them into his room? Put them on his dresser?

No and no. They need to stay under the tree.

Then in exasperated tones, "I want it to be Christmas." (Mind you this has only happened since the tree and presents were up.)

2) We have been listening to Michael McLean's Forgotten Carols in our Christmas music rotation. The song about Handel's pen may be Caleb's favorite. He loves to sing the hallelujah parts, but he is always ready to break out a "Aw, then I can't sing in the choir." whenever the song is on.

One of my memories from this Christmas season will be Caleb repeating that line at a number of funny points in time.

3) Many toys come with little brochures. You get a new toy and a reminder there is much left to acquire. Caleb calls these brochures "maps". Caleb can play with the maps as much as the acutal toys at times. When we told him that he was going to see Santa at a Christmas party, he was excited to talk to the jolly old elf. But the things that HAD to come with to the Christmas party with him was his maps.

This pictures has Caleb showing Santa a map of the Bob the Builder toys and Cars the Movie cars and telling him which ones he wants. I guess you just can't take chances when it comes to Christmas toys. You need to be able to show Santa exactly what you want. 4) Last night we got a box of presents from my parents. (Well, really two, but that does sound a little greedy, doesn't it.) You should have seen the excitement as we took the 10 or so presents out of the boxes to put under the Christmas tree. Caleb was hopping around like a madman. It took us a few minutes but we finally got everything arrange under the tree.

Then it happened. Caleb found his four or five presents and started walking around with them.

"Dad, can I open these presents?"

"No, Christmas is in just another day and a half."

"Can I put them on my dresser?"

"No, they go under the tree."

"Can I look at them?"

"Of course, you may."

"Dad, can you read me the names on these tags?"

"Sure." (But he had only gotten the presents with his name on them!) "This one says "To: Caleb" and so does this one and this one..."

"No read it all Dad. Who are they from..."

I could go on. But needless to say, I hope Caleb makes it all the way to Christmas. Miraculously, he has lasted this long. He needs to hold on for one more day.

UPDATE: One last story that is tangentially related to Christmas.

At church today, Caleb needed a drink. He went to the water fountain downstairs and bumped into his friend Nicole. They are the same age and Caleb likes Nicole. They came upstairs together holding hands. Nicole was wearing a beautiful black and plaid Christmas dress. Caleb had black pants with a red snowman sweater. They looked just adorable, like a picture in a magazine. A couple of others stopped to admire the picture. I wish I had my camera.

The Christmas Spirit

Ben is new to our congregation. He has piercing eyes, plays the piano, and is the father of a beautiful family with two children. Also, he has a clear, strong voice that is not forced and resonates. Last week he sang a solo as part of the Christmas program - "O Holy Night", my favorite carol for a male voice. Though he is not a professional singer, it was wonderful to hear from him.

As the final verse was about to start, the congregation was unusually quiet. The words to this verse are:

Truly He taught us to love one another;
His law is love and His Gospel is peace.
Chains shall He break for the slave is our brother
And in His Name all oppression shall cease.
Sweet hymns of joy in grateful chorus raise we,
Let all within us praise His holy Name!
Christ is the Lord, O, Praise his name forever.
His power and glory ever more proclaim!
O night, O holy night, O night divine!

When Ben reached the line about "Sweet hymns of joy", he started choking up. The emotion of the song and his voice was reaching us in ways a professional singer's voice usually does not. He touched my heart because this song was his "grateful chorus". I sat in my pew awash in Ben's love for Christmas and Christ and the feeling at that moment. Ben almost started to cry, but pulled it together to finish the song masterfully.

After that performance, I would have preferred Ben singing from his heart to any other person singing from memory. Carols become sacred when we lend the power of our lives and our love to them, which is the real spirit of Christmas.

Honey-Do List

Due to use-it-or-lose-it vacation, I have taken a couple of days off over the last three weeks. Mary wrote a 19-point honey-do list for the our four-day weekend last week. I think we got through most of it.

Yesterday, we finally hung the "Tin Town". I am really excited. It looks great. In order to hang the Tin Town, we had to rearrange furniture and go to Home Depot, but what can you do? It was definitely worth it.

So a recap of the household activities that we have done over the last week:

• Run errands to stores, car dealers, and banks
• Close and adjust accounts
• Hang the Tin Town
• Purchase way too many things
• Clean the house
• Drop off gifts
• Write and mail the Christmas letter, etc.

We could go on, but hopefully this means we should be able to enjoy Christmas a little more. I was hoping one night Mary could go to bed knowing everything on the list was done. When I told her that we may be out of things on the list she responded, "Don't worry, that only means I can start a new one."

Guess I better go clean the bathroom.

A Hint of Minty Freshness

Nestle Tollhouse has come out with new chocolate chips. They have swirled two complementary flavors together. We recently purchase the Semi-sweet Chocolate and Mint Swirled Morsels. Mary made chocolate chip cookies and substituted them for the usual chocolate chips.

You will be thanking me if you do the same thing. Seriously.

JT Ain't the Only One Bringing Sexy Back

You know you wish your balding hair could stand straight up.

I wore this look for most of the day last Friday. I am not sure if Mary was confused, mortified, or thought it par for the course. She hates the look. She doesn't know if she should complain about my long, unkempt hair or the fact that I did not shaved for a week. How do you pick your battles when there is no way to win on both of them?

(Full disclosure: I did shave on Sunday and got my haircut on Tuesday. But I am trying to decide if I should grow my beard out before the baby is born.)

The Upward Climb

Driving around last week, we past a cheap gas station where we usually buy gas. (No, not that one.)

Friday gas price for 87 octane: $2.25/gallon
Saturday gas price: $2.29/gallon
Sunday gas price: $2.32/gallon
Monday gas price: $2.35/gallon
Monday evening gas price: $2.36/gallon

I am glad that election time is over so gas prices can get back to being up where they were just a couple of months before the election. Nice to know that our politicians are not powerless. They might not do much between elections, but around elections they can do a lot. They can even get the price of gas to drop.

Well, You Asked for It

A couple of you have asked for a picture of Mary in her pregnant stage. Well, here it is at 32 weeks 3 days. No, she is not having twins in case you were wondering. (And that was not my comment. She said that herself. In case you were wondering.)

Strategizing for Kid-Friendly

As a parent, you have to teach your child a number of skills. Some are a priority while others tend more to the mundane. Eating at a restaurant leans more to the latter than the former, but something that must be taught nonetheless. There are some things you need to know before you teach this skill.

There are three types of kid-friendly restaurants. The first type is exceptionally rare; the good (or even great) restaurant that children can go to, feel comfortable, and be entertained. An example of this in our area may be Bugaboo Creek, but I am not totally convinced. The second kind of restaurant has the whole experience aimed at the children with okay food; like a Rain Forest Cafe. The third category is fast food style restaurants, running from a McDonald's to a Friendly's. Once you know the category a dining strategy emerges.

If you are making a trip to the fast food style place, I feel bad for you. There is no great dining strategy. The food may taste good at first, but it will sit heavy and won't be overly nutritious. You will feel the meal in the pit of your stomach.

If you are lucky enough to find a good (or great) and entertaining restaurant, then the first part of the strategy includes giving thanks. When you go there, you can order what you wish knowing the food will be well prepared. These restaurants are to be cherished.

The middle category is the most difficult to navigate and a common eating establishment. From personal experience, I can offer the following observations:

1) The cooks at such places matter a great deal. There is a wide variety in how dishes are prepared and because it was good last time does not garuantee anything. Not all cooks are created equal at these restaurants.

2) If a restaurant is catering to children, your order should cater to your inner child. The burgers/sandwiches will probably be good. The non-alcoholic frozen drinks will probably be great (and loaded with sugar). Seafood dishes or specialty dishs are buyer beware. Unless you know from others that a dish is good, it probably isn't worth the culinary adventure.

3) Keep it simple. The simpler the dish, the better the chance of a good meal.

4) These establishments do have quality dishes. You need to find them and stick to that when you order.

Remember when dining with children, you should still try to find a good meal. These tips will help you have a better experience next time you happen to be out with the children.

Crack Kills

My brother, Oliver, is a connoisseur of online crack. He also occasionally blogs about the crack he finds.

In a recent post, he blogged about an online game called Winter Bells. Tonight he finally convinced me to play it. I could not stop. It is not the most challenging of games but it certainly sucked me right into. I am even going to change the post time for this entry so I don't have to admit that I was up all night playing. (Though it won't be hard to figure out when I went to bed because of comments on Oliver's blog.) I am certainly no DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUDE, but I did manage a decent score eventually.

Letter Campaign

Christmas letters are supposed to be cheery. They seem to be a brief recap of the year with a little fun thrown in so everyone goes home happy. I have had a hard time finding that tone this year. There are so many good things that I want to write about and a number of difficult things I have to write about. Distilling 2006 into a brief, positive summary is a difficult task.

As I have tried to write the letter, I have come up with a number of quotes that summarize our year in some way. I cannot use any of the quotes below because they don't capture the essence of this year. Well that, and they are downers. I read them to my Mom and she was aghast that I would even consider any of these quotes for the Christmas letter. Don't worry Mom, I will come up with something that is more palatable.

A sampling of my upbeat quotes:

"It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, … it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of light, it was the season of darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, we had everything before us, we had nothing before us …” –Charles Dickens

“April is the cruelest month.” –T. S. Eliot (Robert's funeral was in April and I am still surprised at how draining that was for me even though I thought I had no emotion left to be drained of then.)

“One should, for example, be able to see that things are hopeless and yet be determined to make them otherwise.” –F. Scott Fitzgerald

“I have wept and fasted, wept and prayed.” –T. S. Eliot

Oh, yeah, have a super, grand, merry Christmas, too!

Mind Boggling

Today a momentous thing happened in our home.

Grace asked Mary if she could organize some drawers in our computer room for Mary.

Organizing something for Mary, the queen of organization? The woman who has had MANY family members, friends, and strangers tell her that if she ever feels like she needs to organize something to please come over to their house? Grace needs to help her? WHAT?

Didn't that apple fall far from this tree?

Chillin' Like a Villian

It was sunny and cold yesterday before church. As I was putting on Caleb's seat belt, Mary hopped in the front seat and let out a, "Brrrrrr."

"What was that for?" I asked since it is not quite that cold yet.

"I got a chill," Mary said.

"You gotta chill out, Momma," says Caleb.

Christmas Time

Grace and Caleb recently got new Christmas t-shirts. They also received new Crocs in the mail from Grandma. You have to pry the Crocs off of their feet. They love them!

Quilting Power

I love the design of Mary's most recent quilting project. Behold!

Blessings of Children

"Mom, Dad, I need to go potty," Caleb yells from the next room.

I look at the clock. It is 3:30 AM.

I pull myself out of bed and drag my swollen, sprained ankle into the children's bedroom. I take Caleb to the bathroom and help him get a drink of water. I tuck him in and limp back to my bed. I fall into it hoping for sleep. All I hear is Caleb coughing up a lung in the next room. There are few things worse than wanting to help a sick child but knowing that the illness must run its course. I mutter a short prayer for him and close my eyes to the beckoning sleep.

"Mom, Dad, I need to go potty."

I look at the clock. It is 3:37 AM. He cannot need to go again. His coughing is keeping him up. I go get him and his blankets and stumble out to Mary's rocking recliner. I cover us up and rock. Caleb calms down and the coughing soon abates. I recline the chair and elevate my feet.

I love to rock with my children. I love for them to fall asleep on my chest. They don't do that any more since they are so big. But that's not true tonight. Caleb snuggles in and falls asleep. I might have been snoring before he was.

When Caleb gets up around 7:00 AM, I realized we both got some of the rest we needed. He slept through the rest of the night without coughing and I got enough sleep to sludge through another day at work. But more than that, I got to hold onto my little boy. I loved it.

Some people may say that being a dad is hard work. Others might think I am crazy for calling a lack of sleep a blessing. But it is great. I'll trade a night's sleep to hold onto my children for a little longer.

HP5 Teaser Trailer

Oliver has given all the details on his blog. If you are a HP fan, then you need to check this out.

And Speaking of Technology...

I just wanted to comment about beta.blogger.com.

For the most part I like the interface. But, I do have one complaint about loading pictures to the site. I have loaded all the pictures on this site the same way. When I click on some of them, they go to a larger version of the picture. When I click on others, that does not happen. Can someone out there explain why?

Also, tonight I tried to load a bitmap file, but it only came out as being black with no picture. It doesn't look that way on my computer. Do they only support certain types of bitmap images?

Just wondering.

Technical Expertise

I am not a gadget guy. I like electronics well enough, but I don't need the latest toy. I do fine with minimal cellphone use and don't need a pager/Blackberry. I try to learn how to take care of technology and want to come up with a list of things to do when confronted by wonky technology. (A shout out to Steve on the word choice.)

After talking with friends, there are four steps most people take:

1) Restart.
2) Percussive maintenance.
3) Call support.
4) Read the manual.

The problem with this list is that #3 is usually the 50th thing I want to do and #4 is the 100th. So what are all the other steps in between?

Little Movie Man

Caleb loves to watch movies. Cars the Movie just came out on DVD two weeks ago and I think he has only watched it 6,329 times already. He quotes lines and uses them at the right time. Today at church we were coming back from the car and Caleb said, "Let's race."

As I was catching up to him I said, "Hey, you come back here."

Then Caleb pulls out, "Not today, old man, I know all your tricks."

I was dying laughing at this point. Unfortunately, I could not come up with, "Not all my tricks rookie." Had I said that and run past him, we may have died laughing, though it was funny enough without the extra line.

Tangent: I am not a movie critic, but I cannot wait for the next Pixar movie, Ratatouille. I know little about the story, but the animation is going to be amazing. One look at the trailer will let you know how much better their animation is than anyone else. Sure, I don't love the fact that the trailer has a "Little Mermaid" moment, but there are funny lines in it.

Caleb can quote those lines too; "Let it go Dad!"

Child's Prayer

I love to hear my children pray. I love the fun things and the impossibly sweet things they say. I love the innocence and belief that goes into their prayers.

When I hear Grace say, "Heavenly Father, I want to bless you." I love her simple faith. Grace wants God to be blessed as much as anyone else. I love that she expresses it in her prayer.

When she says, "Bless all the states, even Bethlehem" I want to smile because she has much to learn. But I know the geography will come and I am glad that she knows where Jesus was born.

When she says, "Bless Robert and bless the cemetery where he is buried." I feel her love for her brother. Grace prays for Robert in heaven and his body on earth. She loves him and is still letting that love grow.

I love the prayers of children.

Anti-Ankle Asphyxiation Association

When Caleb was taking pictures the other morning, he caught one image that I have to share. Behold: Most people would not believe that this was one of the most important pictures. It is because it illustrates one of the little things I love about Mary.

Everyone has theories about what is important in life. One of Mary's is that her feet need to breathe while she sleeps. When it comes time for her feet to breathe, she pulls them out from under the covers. After they have had sufficient air, she can quickly warm them up by putting her feet on me. I have told her that I am not sure about the need for the cold feet.

She has yet to be persuaded otherwise.

Pictures of the Children

This is a picture of Grace wearing her favorite outfit. She drew a picture of herself wearing this outfit for her school journal.
This is Grace's basketball outfit. Once you put on sweats you are an athlete. I love the way children think about life. If she has a witch's hat, she is a witch. Boots make you a cowgirl. A beautiful dress makes you a princess. Here is our basketball player: Caleb has an orange shirt. I thought you should see it. I tried to get a picture of him standing still. I would not say that I was successful. He was goofing around the whole time. Mary believes he may be the class clown at preschool because he is always trying to get the other children to laugh. Hopefully you will laugh as he is making crazy faces. Caleb loves this lunch box. Bev gave it to him with a puzzle in it. He loves to carry it around and is so happy that he has a Thomas lunch box. He told me I needed to take a picture of it, so here it is.

While You Were Sleeping...

...Caleb found the digital camera. Here is his artwork.

Its All Relative

Grace and Caleb share a lot in common, though that is not an interesting observation. It is an assumption for most brothers and sisters. What really intrigues is their differences. Recently, I have been reminded of a fundamental difference between the two of them; how they play.

Grace is imaginative. Grace could play with her baby for hours on end. Baby needs to be fed, put to bed, and taken to ballet class. If Grace had a ream of paper, she could color for hours on end. Artwork flows when the markers are out. But set her down in front of almost any toy and not much will happen. The only toys she sometimes plays with are Fisher-Price Little People. That is it. We have other toys but they never hold her attention.

Caleb, on the other hand, loves toys. Give him some cars or trains and he can play for days. Set up some toys on the floor and he is ready to play. He even plays with Grace's Sweet Street and might be entertained by her My Little Ponies. He is a toy kid.

Caleb can create plenty of adventures for himself with a simple toy. Grace will do the same with paper or baby. It is one of their striking differences.

On the Way Home from Dan and Rebecca's

From the backseat comes Caleb's voice, "Mom, Dad doesn't know where he is going."

Mary says, "Its okay Caleb, Dad know how to get us home."

Caleb says, "Nun-uh Mom, we're lost."

Mary replies, "Don't worry Caleb. Dad is smart and can get us home."

"Wicked smaht," I chime in.

"Mom, Dad's smart but I'm smarter," Grace qualifies.

Of Hobbits and Genetics

Caleb ate breakfast today. Okay, he ate a lot of breakfast. At 8:30 am, he had eaten two bowls of Cocoa Puffs and one bowl of Trix.

I had a meeting and missed breakfast. When I returned we were talking and he said, "Dad, I want second breakfast."

Mom, seeing that it was 10:30 am, said, "Why don't we have a little lunch?"

Caleb replied, "No, I want SECOND breakfast."

I went and poured him a bowl of Trix. Then another bowl. And finally one more bowl. He ate it all.

Final tally: 4 bowls of Trix and 2 bowls of Cocoa Puffs.

How can he eat all that food? Where does that gene come from? It cannot be me, right?

Marketing for Little People

Grace and Caleb love Fisher-Price's Little People. A few of these toys came with claymation videos and Caleb likes to watch them. Caleb calls them "Eddie and Freddie" movies. (One of the characters, Eddie, has a pet frog named Freddie.)

The other day, Caleb was riding a toy bike made by Fisher-Price. He pointed to the Fisher Price logo and said, "Mom, what does that say?"

Mary looked at it and said, "It says Fisher-Price."

Caleb studied it for a second and said, "No, it doesn't. It says Eddie and Freddie, Mom."

Measured and Found Wanting (Updated)

Every measurement is prone to error. The error may be sufficiently small so it is meaningless, but it still exists. What if the error is not so much in the measurement but in the labeling choice of the manufacturer?

Take Mary's Dove shampoo. Dove sells a 25.4 ounce bottle of moisturizing shampoo. Doesn't this seem like an odd size? Why not a whole number? A metric conversion seems the culprit, since 25.4 ounces corresponds to approximately 750 ml. Then why does Dove label this shampoo bottle as 751 ml?

(Cheat sheet: 25.4 ounces = 751.168 ml and 750 ml = 25.36 ounces)

If you manufacture one 750 ml bottle in the EU and one 25.4 ounce bottle in the US, is there truly a 1 ml difference? If there isn't or you cannot adequately measure that difference, then why label them differently? Fill them both with 750 ml, or 25.4 ounces, and label accordingly. Does it really help to pander to costumers by labeling (and presumably filling) in both measurement systems?

I cannot imagine anyone looking at a shampoo bottle and thinking that Dove filled this bottle in English units and that is the deciding factor in the buying decision. Who buys something based on the perceived measurement system of the labeled unit?

Update: Dove is owned by Unilever, a Dutch company. I have a 25.4 ounce bottle of Pert Plus. Pert Plus is part of an American company, Proctor and Gamble. The Pert Plus bottle is labeled: 25.4 fl oz (1 pint 9.4 fl oz) (750 ml).

Something is going on here.

That's All Folks

Soccer has recently finished for Grace. She had a good year. There is a lot to learn but she has figured out how to kick the ball and she even scored a goal. It was a real success for her. Thought you might like to see a picture taken earlier in the year.

A Child's Work is Never Done

Halloween Pictures

We forgot to take pictures before we went trick-or-treating. Fortunately, Mary took some pictures before we went to the ward Halloween party. Grace the vet and Caleb the policeman had a great Halloween!

Robert Week

Boy do I miss Robert.

The emotional toll of this year is impossible to measure. Never has so much emotion coursed through me. I never hoped to feel these emotions. And last week was the "Robert week" of this pregnancy. We made it through. Onto week 25.

Pregnancy is a difficult time; more so for the woman than the man. Already this has been a long pregnancy for both of us.

I feel like I should be holding Robert on one hand and I am excited to hold our unborn child on the other. I feel like it has been forever since Robert was born and forever until the next child will be born. I feel caught between the two and long to hold both. I know that will never happen during this life.

What do you do when you are haunted? Can you hold the yearning for one and the excitement for the other in the same breath? What about the nervous apprehension that is a constant companion? Can you cling to loss and hope at the same time? Does one of the emotions have to win? What if, deep down, you may not want either to win?

Looking at the pictures on this site reminds me that we will never have a "full" family picture again. Can that really be true? Can I hate that fact while I acknowledge my hate won't change anything?

All our next child will know of Robert is what we teach.

What will we teach about Robert?

How will we teach who Robert is?

I Can't Take the Pressure

The prices have fallen at my favorite gas station. It is only $2.35 a gallon compared to $2.15 a gallon across the street. Do economists call that a market correction? Or is this just a market adjustment? If a gas station need only adjust to the market, then how strong is the pressure?

Maybe this gas station is impervious to market pressure because there is a market force less than "pressure". What should we name something weaker than market pressure? Is that a market mild suggestion? Or maybe a market intimation?

Do economists sleep well while I corrupt their discipline?

He Wants to be a Cowboy, and She Can be a Cowgirl

Grace went to a birthday party this week. The theme was cowboys. I think that she really enjoyed getting a new dress up outfit.
Here are the two of them playing together:
Caleb playing cowboy:

Now THAT is Scary

Mary and I went to a costume party last Friday night. Mary dressed up as a witch. (It was either that or the pregnant nun.) I went as myself, a nerd. Photographic evidence:
Here is a closer look at the witch. Her "fly-away" hair was a thing to behold.
The real winner for me was the mismatched socks and ugly belt. Who knew that my horrible dressing habits from my youth would be so useful? The worst part about the costume was trying to part my hair down the middle. There is not quite enough hair to do that anymore. Oh well, what are you going to do?