Neon pink N95

One day, i was at M&S. Tengah tengok2 barang. Then i saw…seamless- minimiser- available in DD++ and above sizes- tshirt bra..wah! I have always envy tshirt/sports bra orang sebelum ni. You may ask, bilalah pulak i sekodeng bra orang kan? (Esah would say that ni saki baki habit dari sekolah atas bukit sinun dulu) Well, bila pi conference or workshop and dok hotel, somehow or rather, mesti ternampak bra and undies kengkawan yg spilled out of their bags. And i marvel at how pretty (and small) they were…unlike…err..mine…yg dah la tak small, design pun jarang berganti. Agaknya not lucrative enough for kilang to manufacture banyak2 pattern bra utk those yg well-endowed kut. Anyway, back to those M&S bra, sesaja i try..it’s true what they say, a good pair of undies will make a whole load of difference to how you feel about yourself bila memakainya. Cecari colour lain takde…but the good thing was, jual 2 sekali for that one price.

Bila sampai rumah, i keluarkan dari plastic bag. Lipat plastic bag, buh kat kitchen. Bra terpampang atas meja makan…i mean it’s just a bra…kat rumah ni, men are outnumbered..cuma MG and Monty..haiya…MG pun metrosexual and Monty eunuch. So nak segan apa kan? Tetiba budak mulut yg patut dibuat cekodok tu berbunyi, ‘besarnya bra mummy!!’

Pastu macam empangan pecah uols! Semualah nak bercakap pasal bra tuh. Budak2 couldn’t understand why they look so huge. Have my nenen grown bigger they asked. No, nenen are still the same size (budak2 breastfed ni sampai ke tua mesmerised dgn nenen maknya). I put them on later. Baby X mata tak berkelip2 nak tengok bawah baju i. Of course it didn’t help the bra was pink in colour. Dah near bedtime pun tak habis2 selak baju i sampai i annoyed. Blardy! It’s only a pink bra but paknya cakap, well, do you have to have it in neon pink??? Haish! Like i had a choicelah kan?!

Then they kept asking, why is it sooooo big? Ish bebudak ni. Selalunya i pakai bra biasa..ni yg had tshirt bra diakan berspan..jadi keras cam tempurung. Pastu paknya tak sudah buat joke bangang.

Mummy, orang punya bra nasik lemak 2 kupang or 2 inggit..you punya bukan setakat nasik lemak tapi nasik ambeng! (celupar, celupar!)

Mummy, kalau jerebu datang lagi, bra you boleh ganti topeng N95!

Little D, mummy punya bra boleh guna masa nuclear attack!

It’s only a damn bra, get over it lah! Panas betul hati i..pakai bra baru pun banyak masalah. I said, it’s pink in color, so what’s wrong?

MG said, ‘you look like middle age british woman sunning on the beach of Majorca.’

Boleh Esah?  Like i keriau2lah when he purchased all his fancy undies…kalau pun nak mid-life crisis, takkan i nak biarkan dia sensorang dak?

A - Z beruang

I'm tired. So, kita cakap pendek2 je lah sentences..maybe it won't make sense..tak delah tenaga nak karang pantun 45 ribu kerat cam MP..kemain lagi!

Banyak nak cerita..but later, maybe. BomBom hilang gitu sahaja. Thanks to N82, Ummisara and Hernie, for your concern. Masih terasa kehilangannya but as they say, life must go on. The same week i lost BB, orang ittew hilang his office laptop. He's upset..some work hilang cam tu je (dropbox people, dropbox!). Saya hilang 'anak'..benda hidup. But then, you can't expect ikan tuna to jadi sotong..the most it can become is probably kerang..dok diam2 and sengih when the occasion calls for it. 

Untuk sesapa kat luar sana...yang berchenta dengan someone that doesn't deserve you...no, i'm not talking about you here, not yet anyway.

Kalau orang keliling kelalang dah dok kutuk2 partner awak tu, take heed..kitaorg kutuk bukan saja suka2..kitaorg nampak tapi mata awak je yg tak nampak kerana masih dalam fasa kentut pun wangi. This is about these two people i care about so much..ok la, kalau masuk awak, three lah.

#1 This guy digoda oleh pompuan gedik. Dia cakap dia nak kat minah ni tapi minah ni kononnya 'im like a bird...'. Nak keluar2 suka2 je..mintak di hantar ke sana sini..ikut ke sana sini...apa je minah tu jual, laki akan beli berdozen2 pastu simpan belian bawah katil buat perkasam. Cinta punya pasal. Minah suka tangkap gambar sama2 meliuk lentuk macam gamat yg takde tulang belakang tu. Tapi bila laki ajak kawin, eh, kita kawan je! Pastu enter a second minah. Seriyes minat gila kat laki ni..dari tomboy berubah jadi model 'dewi remaja' pasal dia ingat gitulah wanita yg diminati oleh laki tu. Tapi ada tulang belakang..bukan cam si gamat tadi. Laki pun rasa boleh suka kat dia. But bila gamat dapat tau, gamat mula beraksi semula...dari gamat terus jadi 'barnacle' (siput yg lekat kat tiang dlm laut or bawah kapal tu). So laki confuselah kononnya...laki..laki...orang keliling kelalang cukup menyampah dgn minah barnacle ni but what to do..kerna chenta..

#2 Ni minah pulak. Minat kat jantan yg sayang diri lebih dari sayang awak. Minah is sotong, jantan is...serupa ikan tuna jugak. Bila minah berhias lawa2, buat surprise bday party semua utk jantan, si jantan kutuk minah kenapa mekap cam ladygaga and buang duit je buatkan party. Oh ye, kalau saya belanja, kita makan kedai mamak je ye..saya nak kena kumpul duit utk jadi kaya sebelum saya 30 tahun. Bila minah belanja, boleh pulak mintak honeycomb candy crush cappucino tah hapa benda. Minah kena hantar saya ke sini sana...pasal pak awak kaya..saya pulak nak jimat minyak pasal kena simpan duit utk bla bla bla...then putus start putus start..the last time putus panggil minah nama macam2..jantan ungkapkan yg dia harapkan hidup minah akan sengsara tanpanya..sial ke tak? Then i heard dah on balik....habis belajar next year nak terus kawin...hantaran tak yah mahal2 yye..5 ribu cukup..lagipun saya nak simpan duit bla..bla..bla..(btw, minah akan dapat rumah sebijik and bank account with 200k in it). Uols tak rasa jantan tu opportunist ke? I rasa cam nak bagi makna nasik tangas kat....minah tu! Tak tau skru mana yg nak kena ketatkan lagi. Kalau jadi depa kawin...menyampah i tengok jantan tu...and i will cut my little finger kalau depa hidup bahagia because i'm very confident that they won't. For a start..she's a sotong and he's ikan tuna kat pasar jepun sinun..yg sejuk beku tu..

Ok la..kena mention jugak case #3 utk pelengkap cerita. Partner serope.....Mr Hyde...tapi takde masa pulak yg dia boleh bertukar jadi Dr. Jekyl. Orang kurang cakap bad things pasal dia depan awak pasal kita sayangkan awak. Lagipun awak kata awak accept dia seadanya...tu cakap bongok for i'm not happy but i want to be with her so i shall stop whining and 'accept'. At the same time perangai partner ada serope bapak beruang..buatttt je ikut suka hati dia. So she wanted out. Once upon a time, ada kawan i ni ditinggalkan dek laki masa anak dlm perut..gitu sahaja tanpa apa2 explanation. Sampai la ni dia tak kawin sesapa and si jantan pun sama. Ex hubby nak balik kat dia but her family said, if you go back to him, that's it!  Putus sedara. Tudia! Laki mesti perangai cam bapak of all beruangs. The gist of the story is...for case #3, if you ever2 go back to your beruang, that's it putus sedara kita..tu dia, bukan saya suka nak mengugut awak, tapi i've been with you all this while and i've seen how she picked you up and discard you ikut suka kepala lutut dia.  Tell me  satu benda walau sebesar atom pun yg dia buat utk awak...when you were in town, idak le pulak dia mengurangkan beban kerjanya and berusaha bawak awak pi makan2, stock barang makanan kat rumah, kemas rumah bagi rumah serhope orang sikit or  kem chickadees yg awak suka pada awak..tak pernah kan? Yg saya tau, awak akan suh kengkawan ketat awak tunaikan hajat awak ...setau saya awak tak pernah suh dia...partner apakah itu? Bila dia tau awak balik, suh awak belikan makanan utk dia lagi ada, kan? Dia tak berusaha ambik awak kat airport atau hantar awak balik....dah dah la tu buat alasan utk dirinya atau katakan yg awak tak suka 'goodbyes'. Kalau awak boipren saya, i would want you to be the first face i see in the morning and the last at night..apa susah nak adjust masa buat facetime kan? Ye..tak susah kerana saya chenta..But when you were around, awak di bawah telunjuk dia. Walaupun dia berpeleseran cam ayam jantan sampai ke dinihari, dia tetap mahu awak berada di rumah cam patung chendana. By hook or by crook awak yg takde kenderaan terpaksa juga usahakan balik ke rumah. Itu bukan sayang...itu serhope orang jaga barangan saja tu..

Jadi utk case #3 i'm harsh because i care. OK, let's berdoa dia patah dua2 kakinya..see..awak kawan saya. Saya akan turutkan apa yg awak nak..kecuali...kalau awak balik pada dia, saya akan ketuk2 awak, lepas tu saya akan tinggalkan awak biaq pi je..

Come home!

First it was Kunyit. Sempat dibelai selama seminggu. Nengok dia main dlm rumah...kus semangat budak tu. Lari naik tangga turun tangga..jadi spiderman kat curtain..Baru tingat balik semula why curtain rumah ni dah 3 tahun baru berganti yg baru. Tunggu monty melly ugi besar and tak memanjat cam anak munyit dah. Then cukup one week, baby X tefon kat ofis. Menjerit histeria...Kunyit dilarikan dek budak2 jahat. Buat flyers..cari ronda keliling taman for 3-4 days. Tak jumpa. Menyesal sangat...kalau tinggal je kat ofis tempoh hari mungkin nasib dia lebih terbela. But then Allah said tak baik cakap 'kalau'...semua dah termaktub. Redha tapi ada sikit terkilan. At the same time sumpah the two boys who took Kunyit away...biarlah terjatuh sampai patah gigi depan.

A week later, sekor kucing kecik warna oren jugak berlari ke kaki kita..eh Kunyit ke? Bawak balik utk identification process. Rhopenya pelanduk 2 serupa...kecik lagi and kurus kering ya amat. Bawak pi vet...vet cakap dia anaemic..mungkin sebab badan penuh kutu and perut bercacing. Berak taik cair busuknya tuhan je yg tau sampaikan my ferari maid pun mogok cuci. For 2 weeks bagi dia makan ubat, bersihkan litter box dia. Tinggalkan masa raya dgn maid kat rumah...takut jugak acik kerabukan dia....sib baik dah takde masalah taik cair. Manja teramat..kalau dibedung cam baby boleh tido kat atas pangkuan berjam2. Tapi risau yg dia kuat merengek and tak tau main. Hobinya korek tong sampah...apa nak buat...ex kucing pasar. Btw, little D namakan dia BomBom.
This week balik dari outstation tengok eh..BB dah tembam. Perut bulat..bibir merah tanda tak anaemic dah. Playful sesangat. Acik pun dah sayang...buat teman kat rumah masa bebudak pi sekolah.
Pagi tadi little D bukak cage nak main sama BB. Kenit lari keluar pintu. Akaknya tak kejar..takut orang kidnap dia. Acik maid tengah basuh berak baby x yg jugak pi kencing atas katil. Mak pak masih golek gelantang atas katil post-asmara (I wish!). Agaknya pas sepluh minit pastu maid turun tengok little D tengah melangut depan pintu. Adik bulu tak kelihatan...sampai la ni. Dah 5, 6 kali search party pusing taman. Tak boleh imagine si kenit sedang kelaparan and kehausan...jiwa rasa dirobek2..
Losing your child is painful..walaupun bukan keluar dari perut I.
Please pray that BB will find her way home.
Sent by Maxis from my BlackBerry® smartphone

Penyakit keturunan

I come from a pretty laidback family. Takde menatang protocol. I dari kecik dah terbiasa tgk pak I bersiap nak pi kerja buh bedak talkum kat ketiaknya...and he'd be in just his white crocodile spenda. My sis and I bila kena lipat baju, each of us would either have spenda pak I kat atas kapla macam topi chef atau pakai bra mak I kat luar baju cam Mad0nna. When Little D was three, dia sarungkan pantynya atas kepala and thought she was cool. Whenever the maid lipat baju, BabyX would be mesmerised by my bra. Hm...ke mana tumpahnya kuah kan...

Mak ngan pak I suka cakap2 double meaning...masa kecik2 ye lah I tak faham. Bila dah besar, I cringe OK! Masa mak I first time melawat I kat UK, she had just retired. She was 50..masa tu I ingat 50 cam dah tua sangat. We went to Boots. She asked me, carikan mak KY jelly...dah tua2 ni sore lah! Aiyoo! U can imagine muka gobsmack I..Eii mak ni! I cakap. Ish kamu ni, takkan tak tau kut, katanya. I pointed to her mana rack benda alah tu and cecepat menghilangkan diri. Couldn't believe my ears...
When my siblings had left for uni/asrama, I was the only one left at home. I had to 'endure' depa bercakap kotor double meaning over lunch and dinner..geli geleman I, uols! But at the same time I had to keep a straight face. Sampai laa ni mak I ingat bebanyak anak dia, I yg paling innocent..hihihiii.

A lot of the things yg depa cakap memang I tak faham..some of it I deciphered like 20 years later bila dah besar panjang. Like one time when I was minding my own business in the toilet. Suddenly it hit me that the lebam2 on my mum's body were not just any 'hantu' yg gigit but a certain hantu. Nak terjatuh I dari toilet seat! Hish depa ni tau! Laa ni I terpikir fuiyoo...don't play2! Adventurous sungguh hantu tu. Belakang lutut, peha semua ada. Leher toksah cakaplah kan (and I'm still cringing as I write this). Yes, I do speak loklak sometimes but believe me when I say among kitaorg ie parents and siblings included, I yg paling square..can you imagine depa yg lain cemana..termasuk sekali my desperate hoswipe cousins. So, I can safely say my kids take after my side of the family...kalau harapkan MG, mak dia pakai apa masa tido pun dia tak tau (ni I tanya dia pasai once I nak belikan mak dia baju kelawar and tak sure mak dia pakai ke tak).
So my kids and their fascination with shirap, shatan, buat love, the f and the z, I would say, bring it on!

Sent by Maxis from my BlackBerry® smartphone

Gewamp!

Mood agak kureng this morning. I was on my way nak bagi hamper kat orang tertentu pastu tali plestik bag putus and tergolek botol atas tanah. Ces! &%$#$%. Jadi satu kerja pulak utk orang tu re-balutkan bagi pihak i. Pastu, raba2 handbag and tak jumpa handphone..it's like what??? How am i to survive meeting yg berderet hari ni? No gossips, no blog hopping, googling etc. Sungguh kejikan..but how else can one survive in a meeting?? Anyway, tefon rumah, bagitau babyX suh tanya paknya whether ada nampak henfon golek2 tepi katil and paknya cakap, mana dia tau. Ish! Orang laki, observantlah sangat, kan???! Well, i thought dah mood nak bernasty ni, baiklah i pi buru 'orang2' yg ada berhutang dgn i, kan? If not i keep procrastinating because bukanlah in my nature to agro2 kat orang sampailah i dah bey2 4000x (baru2 ni i cakap kat si Baung yg i kena jadi examiner and baca 2,3 thesis ni. I said, researchnya so so je tapi bila kita bagi comments, kena bagi komen yg membinakan..takkan la nak cakap, eh, why u do this when 20 years ago people did it already? I said i tried to menyimpang jauh dari 'nastiness'. Baung said, you can't be one even if you tried...awww...isn't he sweet??? Walaupun dlm hatiku curiga berkata2..hmm..ni mesti nak suh aku ganti dia ke hapa ni...or..hey..are you saying they got me to be an examiner because i'm a pushover hah??) This includes company tempat i kerja ni yg berhutang tunggakan gaji i selama 2 tahun OK! I didn't know i was satu tangga gaji then sepatutnya for the last two years until i belek slip gaji colleague i yg selevel dgn i..eh, napa aku punya gaji sikit lagi? Call sana sini rhope2nya i was underpaid. That discovery was back in March..janji capati dibuat kononnya by June akan dapat the tunggakan, tapi sampai sekarang non ado..dah la makcik tinggal nyawa2 ikan je lepas raya ni...toyol pun rest sekejap bulan remdan ritu.

Satu lagi this insurance company ni..i dah kata tak nak tak nak! Don't want to upgrade my policy dah..tengok2 lepas depa dah potong 2 bulan baru i realise depa dah potong and email yg i sent to my agent kata tak nak upgrade tu tak sampai...boleh? I made a fusslah kan...caraku yg sungguh pushover..takdak pun bunyi cam company giant tu nak reimburse duit yg dah kena potong tu..tulis wasap kat agent degar2 pastu bila agent tefon kata she'll work on it, terus i jadi sweet. Then when she wasap kata mulai bulan ni no more potongan, i jadi sweeter...tak tanya pun err...korang tak nak pulang duitku ittew ke?? Haaaa..pastu i discovered that duit i kena potong lagi! Cilakak! Acik geramlah kan. Dahla takde ura2 nak reimburse duitku yg bila kumpul boleh beli kasut jogging warna merah top of the range lagi, then you potong summore. Marah la kita kan?!

Well, i'm seriously gonna write a nasty email now. Kalau depa tak reimburse akan ku terminatekan policy ittew. Apa jadi, jadilah! Good job yg tefon tinggal kat rumah..so PA (maidku, sapa lagi) i can jawab, maaf iyaaa..henfon nya tinggal di rumah yaaa..So tak payah i nak deal dgn agent i yg akan rayu2 nengyatimah nanti..(ceh! konon cam berani sangatlah kan..but i know me..bila orang cakap lembut sikit mesti i cair punya..)

Actuallynya i nak cakap pasal sepentot ajaib..tu lenkali la naa..

Birds and bees again..

CK: Daddy let's go upstairs..(like go upstairs as in tengok tv dlm bilik we all so that the maid can watch drama2 melayu hari raya because kalau tukar channel astro kat bawah, kat bilik dia pun bertukar sama. In our room, decodernya lain)

BabyX: Let's go upstairs, masuk bilik kunci pintu, cium2..(muka sardin je dia masa sebut benda ni)

CK: Hah?????? (belajar kat mana ni??? Must be from Oggie&Cockroaches...)


Around the same time jugak..

BabyX: Zakar tu apa?
LittleD: Zakar tu fe*** lelaki..
BabyX: Bukan laaa...teacher cakap  zakar tu bagi duit kat orang miskin..
CK: Itu zakat laaaaaa!

A lot of bears around here

I'm like the Grinch who hated Christmas. In my case, Raya is not really my favourite day of the year. I prefer  Ramadhan..biarlah puasa berbulan2 pun takpe. Don't know since when i've been feeling this way.. MG is also always acting kind of funny masa Raya.i baru je terfikir pasal ni tadi...control semacam...or is it what they called the bear retreating into his cave? 

Anyway...bangun pagi dah bersiap lawa semua. Tak teringat nak ambik gambar langsung. I mean..like the girls will not stay 5 and 7 forever. Bila teringat, orang semua dah comot and i pun dah tukar pakai tshirt and naik masuk bilik untuk meroluh* kat rumah my PIL. Pas tu rasa annoyed kat pak budak2 pasal napa dia tak offer pun nak ambik gambar family when he's the one with the big camera or at least with the ipong phone. 

Haish! So basically i'm pissed with myself. Then i thought he'd do his usual lepas makan, lepak tengok tv sekejap, pastu naik atas utk lelap..but kali ni tak pulak and ended up, i je yg lelap kat atas sensorang. Ces! Not as if i segan kat my PIL kan, but pehal you hah? (i'm asking MG lah ni). Dah la tak bergambar kan, pastu kengkawan sorang2 masukkan gambar kat pesbuk...anak beranak, cucu cicit kucing semua. Dgn tudung kek lapisnya, baju pepelam etc. Pastu ada pulak yg wish salam aidilfitri  and sempat pulak buh dlm bracket eh, napa i nampak tembam pulak dlm gambar ni? Meh sini lempang sikit...tembam kat mana tuh agaknya? Bijik mata???! (Boy, i'm really like a bear with a sore head).

Btw, ada hari tu si anon cakap i ni cakap degar2 tapi nak remain anonymous..where got balls kan? Cubalah jadi macam bloggers famous yg lenlain tuh katanya. Blog ni cam diary...where i vent out my anger, frustrations, karut marut and carut marut..imagine kalau i bukan anonymous...tetengok the person who's operating on your mum's brain is actually me..! Blardy! I neurosurgeon yg loklak tu..masih ada ke confidence sedara mara pesakit tu in me agaknya?? Dan..i ni tak mau la nak mencapab** (ni pinjam word orang tu)...tak mau jadi fofuler pun..susah la i nak mencarut kalau uols tau sapa i..yg a few tau and i tau dia tau i tau pasal dia tau pasal i (fuh...figure sendirilah ye) pun i rasa dah tak sedap hati nak really let go masa menulis ni. Rasa macam nak tutup this blog and bukak lain and be truly anonymous...well, i did jump blog, twice! 

Ok..cerita sensasi...

A few days ago, i pi ronda kat Parkson dekat rumah. Saja ronda2 tanpa arah tujuan...then i saw a couple. Eh!! Can't be, kata i...hensemnyaaaa! Putih melepak...comel macam budak sekolah..but i kenal sangat dengan speks bingkai putih nerd dia tu. Laaa..sapa i nak tanya to confirm ni?? Ketahuilah Parkson dekat rumah tu sales asisstantnya jarang2 sungguh nampak batang hidung. So i had to rely on my eyes yg kenkadang rabun ni. Pasangan pompuannya, manis..tinggi lampai..macam pinang dibelah dualah they all tu. She didn't look like someone we'd love to hate. I was waiting for the SA to cari barang yg i nak dlm store masa tu. But i had to confirm what i saw. So i stalked that couple from the bedding section to cutleries. Sungguh tak natural...memang nampak sangat i was stalking them..Pastu si SA tu boleh laung pulak 'kak, ni barang yg akak nak!' Ces, nampak sangat i dah tersesar dari tempat yg i sepatutnya berada.

Dik, dik..kata i..dik nampak tak tadi tu. SerapMuslim! 'Sapa?!' Ish the adik really potong stim laaaa...
So yes tuan puan, i think it was Si Serap tu...and with dot dot dot..i hate to say this, they do make a lovely couple. Yes, Esah and Piah dah jenuh mencaci i kat wasap pasal i terpedaya dgn wajah Serap yg ensem tu.    

You know, once upon a time, i dok keriau2 agro pasal sorang ni pasal rapat dgn you know who. But then when the woman in question bercakap2 beramah2 dgn i, i find her to be more interesting and likable...actually, if i were to remove the man from the equation, we could even be bff! So, dlm cerita chenta tiga segi Serap & co, cer omit si Serap tu, the women might find some common ground and realise that laki tu  yg buat pasal je lebih. 

Salam aidil fitri uols, maaf zahir dan batin. And seriously, i mintak maaf dari hujung kaki ke hujung rambut pada sesiapa yg i dah menggoreskan hati. Yes i meant it then, but on hindsight, i shouldn't be so mean.


* meroluh = tido. Donno bahasa dari mana
** mencapab = mencari publisiti

Stoopeat

Kadang-kadang sebelum kita bukak mulut, kita kena fikir dulu, bernaskah apa yg kita cakap tu..does it make sense? Adakah kita ni orang yg arif dalam bidang tu utk mengeluarkan pendapat sebegitu. OK, katalah i kan...i have no degree in psychology or psychiatry or mental health lah kan..and my favourite reads do not include 'sihat mental' , 'psychiatry' or the likes...tapi suka benor nak mengeluarkan kenyataan macam ni 'eii..jangan dok dekat2 dgn budak spastik (saja guna istilah kejam lagi ketinggalan zaman ni), nanti berjangkit gilo!'. Doesn't it sound really stupid???? I mean kalau orang ulu ceruk sinun mungkinlah boleh terpercayakan?? Ye lah..kalau anak lahir kulit kering bersisik dikatakan kenan ular...budak naik basikal atas tikar getah rambut terangkat katanya kena sampuk dgn alien. Padahal budak sisik ular tu mungkin mengidap some rare sindroms...Sesetengah orang suka sangat nak menuduh2 tanpa evidence based kata orang...agaknya kalau hidup time dahulukala mestilah kalau anak demam sebab langkah busut depan rumah..padi tak masak pasal kucing bersin kat tempayan beras...perumpamaan je lah kan..

What i'm trying to say here, if you do not know much about something but you have to say it just because you are prejudice, hentikanlah mengeluarkan komen2 yg sungguh bongek...kalau bertujuan nak menyakitkan hati orang yg tertentu, yes, you dah berjaya...kalau bertujuan nak nampak bodoh, lagi you excel. I think you are shallow, tapi tak yah lah terserlahkan sangat keshallowan you tu..

At the end of the day,tingkahlaku you tu ada repercussions. Kalau bukan dari manusia, dari the Al-Mighty. Ingat2lah...kita tak disuruh oleh Allah untuk berbuat baik sesama manusia je ye. And also ingat2lah rezeki Allah yang bagi..

In the meantime, stop talking because you sound stupid each time you open your mouth.

Tazkirah

Hari ni masuk office pagi2 dah rasa macam angiinnn je..mungkin is nearing to that time of the month. Ataupun banyak perkara bertapuk one after another yg menjengkelkan hati. Bukak FB these days...the last time i felt quite worked up mungkin masa pre and post election haritu. Orang ni cakap camni, orang tu cakap camtu...pastu sikit2 nak upload pasal what team A thought of team B and vice versa. Nak perli here, provoke there...laa ni kalau tak pasal politik, pasal agama...

Ada yg jahil, tapi nakkkk jugak bagi pendapat..dah tu pendapat macam realll je..sampai kita pulak yg terfikir..eh? Aku salah ke selama ni? But sebenarnya 'aku' tak salah rupanya tapi bengong je because patut tanya kat orang tu pasal dalil dari mana dia dapat hukum hakam tu. Kalau dia pun cannot produce the source of the dalil, discard je lah kan. But how dangerous it is that dgn beraninya dia boleh menghalalkan apa yg haram for all to see..sungguh confident sekali...nyarislah Esah terpedaya and nak sign up for nikah mutaah punya contract.

Pastu pasal syiah-sunni. Bila nak kaji, tak boleh la setakat berguru dengan google and belajar through pesbuk je. Pi lah bertanya kepada orang yg bertauliah (janganlah pulak pi tanya dgn orang memana kat surau or masjid asal you nampak berjanggut and berserban). Janganlah heran and kata gomen/mufti/alim ulamak kita terover sensitive pasal haramkan syiah. Adalah sebab2nya and mereka tu lebih arif...but basically, syiah is golongan yang sesat and dah, jangan dok keriau2 nak pertikaikan ni. If you choose to be a (Malaysian/Malay) syiah bila asalnya elok2 sunni, it does not matter, pi lah menganut agama sembah gunung/matahari/pokok sekali pun because tahap kekufurannya tetap sama. Btw, nikah mutaah itu adalah dalil syiah ye....

Pastu isu anjing. Oiii..saya sangat suka anjing. Takut memang takut pasal takut dia lompat2 suka tak hengat donia and jilat kita...but compared to cats yg treat us like slaves? Dogs are men best friends gittew. Bila i dah pencen esok (and laki dah takde...why am i quite sure yg laki i akan mati dulu ye? Is it because one day i might drive him to suicide or dia merana sampai mati? Hish tak baik...! I'm a scientist..so my assumptions are based on the fact that women tend to live longer than men. Although, i do wish i go first because i sure hate to hidup sorang2), i berangan2 nak pindah ke rumah kampung, bela ayam itik and keep a dog for protection. I ni bukanlah sangat suka nak berkebun (takut pacat kan) atau menternak tapi because the thought that i get to keep a dog in a 'legal' way. Legal dari segi agama Islam. Kalau pun ye sapa tu kat fb tu nak menyemarakkan perasaan kasih sayang pada anjing di kalangan umat2 islam/melayu, tak yah la sampai tunjuk depa dok berkerumun kat meja nak makan kuih raya (is it?). Dah sah2 anjing peliharaan orang islam ada tugasnya, bukan untuk peluk2 sayang2 je dan of courselah tak boleh la masuk ke rumah! Gi la tunjuk you bagi makan kuih raya kat your dogs kat dalam barn ke, tepi pagar ke...Pastu bila orang islam dok keriau2, you kata we are being over-sensitive...but you saja nak provoke, itulah reaksi yg you akan dapat pun, you dah expect pun and you suka, kan? Pastu purak2 heran napa kita ni nak be so 'over-sensitive'. Kalau kata nak semai perasaan kasih sayang tu tadi, that's not the way. Lepas tu kata kita ni narrow-minded...i'm as broad-minded a person (with regards to religion) as you can get...but don't la mempersendakan hukum2 sampai begitu sekali. Cer check out this fb page. Tengok apa Aunty Umairah kata? If you guys want to know more about her and her work, pi check out her fb page.

Pastu ada pulak i come across yg cakap, 'eiiii! Saya loya dgn anjing! Dah la haram!'...aiyo kak...yg you pi makan daging anjing tu wat pa??? Memanglah haram....Suffice it to say, jangan jadi badut kepada kejahilan kita. There's a differnce between haram, najis, harus, makruh etc.  Dan jangan cepat nak menjatuhkan hukum makruh, haram etc...selagi tiada dalil yg mengatakan haram or makruh, you can carry on doing what you do..for e.g. berenang ketika puasa. Ada orang kata haramlah, makruhlah...mana dalilnya? Kita buat andaian je tu..bila berenang mesti segar..oooo..makruh tu. Or mesti terminum air...dah haram tu..padahal, namanya pun 'ter'.

Satu lagi, do not say 'god will understand' to justify your actions. For e.g. 'err...i'm in a meeting, cemana nak mintak diri to solat ye? Nanti kang my boss would take 5 because of me and it's not fair to others because nanti meeting lambat habis and depa mesti ada kerja lain or nak balik cepat. Takpelah, i qadha nanti, i'm sure god will understand'...no, no, no ye sayang! Wajib is wajib unless la nyawa you dalam bahaya.

Oklah, itulah 'tazkirah' saya untuk hari ini...