Wednesday, August 29, 2012
Crossroads
I think DH & I are at that place that no couple ever, ever wants to be at. The crossroads where some tough decisions have to be. Where blame is being placed, where exhaustion has set in. Where my will to fight is failing. Where it seems like it would almost be easier to just walk away. Where I don't think I can take any more hurt, any more pain, any more loneliness. Where my breath is constantly caught in my chest. Where I cry every morning on my way to work. Where my heart is breaking into a thousan pieces. Where I am hoping & praying with every ounce of my being that "us" isn't turning into "me." Where my stomach aches because I don't want my daughter to experience anything unhappy in her young life. Where I know she has seen us fighting too much. Where I know the cause of her night terrors, of her anxiety. She is too small & innocent for this. I feel like I am standing over a cliff & right now, even the slightest wind will push me over the edge. I feel like I have fought so hard that I am just spent. I need a partner, not a roomate. My girl needs a daddy, not a babysitter. I love that man more then anyone I've ever met. I miss him. I miss us. I feel like I can't breathe.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
4 comments:
I am so sorry you're going through this. Please know that you're not alone. McRuger and I have had some really hard times too, times where it feels as if the world is ending. It hasn't yet.
I can highly recommend couples counseling and date nights.
Otherwise, I hope tensions ease soon. Please e-mail me if you ever want to chat. Trust me, I've been there!
I hope you and your dh can talk and work past this difficult place. It's awful feeling lonely while married on top of everything else. ((HUGS))
I am also sorry you are going through this. Things do get hard, and it is harder with child. Hubby and I have had issues, too. We did not expect our relationship to change with the arrival of the child. There was (and still is) adjusting to do!
I would also second couple's counseling and date nights. If he will not agree to counseling, at least get counseling for yourself. It can make a world of difference.
You don't know me, but I really hope things get better for you. I know I've felt like this before, and can't imagine how much harder those feelings are with a small child involved.
Post a Comment