Year end roundup and other musings

It turns out I have TWO followers!! Wow, could I be anymore popular? Well actually, Im quite impressed that 2 people think Im interesting enough to follow my story. So thank you.

Okay here's 2008 in month/bullet formation

• January:I finished up my first year at IBC and the wedding plans were in full swing. My mom and I went to a HUGE bridal show the first weekend in January, where we met our photographer, the place to hold our reception, and rehearsal dinner. I made a decision to try and blog on a daily basis and I've done pretty good. My friend Johni' had a baby on the 4th and my friend Becca got married on the 5th.
• February: I know this is HUGELY superficial, but E got me TWO COACH purses for Valentines Day. He also took me to Maggianos and it was very romantic. The New York Giants beat the asshat Patriots in the Super Bowl, it was so exciting, almost as exciting as the Colts superbowl. Evan took more police tests and my car continually broke down, eventually costing me over $500. I was consistently feeling frustrated and I think it had to with us having no sex (a promise we made before we got engaged). TMI alert..it's all better now that we ARE married
  
• March: This month I discovered just how many friends and relatives my parents had. When we had first started the wedding planning we were inviting about 100 people, after my parents added their guest list, that number skyrocted to 353 eventually, we ended up inviting over 360 people. It was insane (and just FYI, about 300 came, it was fantastic!!). I was also DEATHLY ill again and we celebrated E's 23rd birthday. After being diagnosed w/ viral gastroenteritis, I have had problems with my GI tract for almost a year. Still, to this day, I can't eat big meals and not feel sick. I plan on seeing a GI specialist as soon as our new insurance kicks in. Also this month, I took a trip to Gulf Shores, AL w/my parents and it COMPLETELY solidified my need to live there in the very near future. E and I talked it over, and we tentatively plan on moving there (after he gets his police training) by 2011.
  
• April: This month we sent out our Save-the-Dates to the wedding and I came to a few realizations. One is that after my parents move to TN and we move to AL, there's really no reason for us to come back to IN. His family is here and so is mine, but my extended family isn't really that close (except for my grandma) and his family isn't close at all (except for his mom). It was hard to accept, since my family used to be very close when I was younger. I also found out that when friends get new lives, they sometimes don't involve you. My best friend of over 5 years divorced her husband (after cheating on him), moved into a trailer w/her 3 kids, moved into her new boyfriends house, got pregnant and got married all in the space of 10 months. And her new life just didn't mesh with mine. I asked her to be my MOH right after we got engaged, and by April, we were barely talking. We just don't have the same goals or values anymore, and it was a really sad time. But things happen for a reason and I hope she's happy now. E & I also realized that his new wife & her family will always mean more to him then his biological children. Which I am still and will most likely always be a little angry about. He doesn't just treat E & I differently, he treats Linds the same way. It's sad, but it's his choice.
  
• May: We chose a cake for the wedding, the bridesmaid got their dresses ordered. I was so excited for her. I also started having wonky periods and becoming obsessive like I am now. I had to take Prometrium to kick start my period and it was AWFUL. I was and am so scared that that part of my anatomy doesn't work right. I discovered that I have (had) fantastic credit, E had terrible credit and buying a home wasn't in our future for a year. I also went to the dentist, had 4 cavities and needed oral surgery for peridontal work. Oh and this month, Mike & Amanda our good friends found out they were expecting (as of today, no baby yet, her EDD is the 4th). I finally started my period and my MOH got herself engaged!! Also this month, Indianapolis found out they would be hosting the 2012 SUPERBOWL and E and I celebrated our 1 year anniversary by going to Holiday World and making a long weekend out of it. To cap off this month my cousin Megan and her fiance Tim tied the knot in Rogers, Arkansas. It was beautiful and they just celebrated their 6 mo. anniversary.
  
• June: This month, everyone around me was getting pregnant, it seemed, at the drop of a hat. My MOH and her fiance found out they would be becoming parents for the 3rd time at the beginning of December (her EDD was 12-25, but it was revised to the 4th). I got tagged for the first time and REALLY realized my fear of having another m/c and never being able to carry a pregnancy to term. I got great advice and support on this, and for that, I am forever thankful. I found out that E's ADHD can be an annoyance sometime, and got some much needed "snap out of it" advice in the process. My work/church was flooded very badly as Indiana had it's worst bout of flooding (esp. the southern) part in at least 30 years. It was so bad that there are still people living in FEMA trailers and who are homeless right now. And to add to the baby list, my Aunt J and Uncle C let us know they were also expecting #3. I had my first round of oral surgery on the 22nd and we made it to 100 days until the wedding. At the end of the month, we celebrated Moo's 3rd birthday. She came and stayed w/ me for 3 days, we went to the zoo, the childrens museum, had a camp out and did girly things. I realized how much she meant to me and how she continually makes me know I will be a mommy some day.
• July: The month started off w/my mom's birthday. We didn't get to celebrate w/her since she was in Canada, but she had a big ol party while she was there. E & I celebrated the 4th by going downtown and seeing the fireworks (a tradition w/my family, which we are carrying on). We found out that my good friend Candi was NOT pregnant (which was a good annoucement in my world of + pee sticks). The bridesmaids gowns came in and so did the tuxes and everything was GORGEOUS. On the 15th I remebered my unfufilled due date w/ Genevieve. She would have been 5 in 2008, starting school and I was just very sad. I wondered if Moo was a little bit of her reincarnate? I had my 2nd and last round of oral surgery to end the month of w/a vico*din induced haze.
• August: My friend Leighanne had her baby boy on the 2nd and I was a terrible blogger this month. I was just so busy w/wedding stuff and school. This month Angel had an AFP test that came back + for trisomy 18. Somehow, I had to comfort my friend who was potentially planning for the birth and immediate death of her baby. It was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do, but it strengthened our friendship beyond all measure. She is the strongest woman I know, and we celebrated the baby anyway. And prayed hard for a different outcome from the next testing she had to go through. 3 weeks later..a miracle. Angel got a re-test and baby Dane tested NEGATIVE for trisomy 18. It was amazing.
  
• September: This month started the month of last minute wedding planning. We were running around like chickens w/our heads cut off. To start the month off, I found out my friend Becca got pg on her honeymoon, and was expecting a baby boy in the midding of October..It was so exciting and she was so cute!!! I had my 2nd bridal shower and we received so many wonderful gifts, that we TOTALLY needed. I started my externship and loved every second of it. On the 22nd the girls & I celebrated my last weeks as a single girl w/ a fantastic bachelorette party bash!! It was the MOST fun I have ever had. It was just such a good time. We ended the month by moving in to our very own townhouse which was and is a beautiful place. We had our Moo that weekend and I got to see how E will be as a dad, and it was a fantastic site.
• October: Of course, this month's biggest deal was our WEDDING, which took place on October 4, 2008. I cannot even explain how wonderful it was. Everything was pretty much perfect, I have never felt more loved, and lucky. It was just everything it could have been. I couldn't have asked for anything more. And I got to marry the man God made just for me. Our ceremony was just moving and meaningful and our reception was rockin, filled w/laughter, good food, good friends, and of course, good drinks. Unfortunately, I started off our honeymoon w/another round of viral gastroenteritis to the point I was crying I was in so much pain and we had to find an immediate care center in Gatlinburg, TN. Once we did, and I was medicated, the rest of our honeymoon was phenomenal..And may I say to everyone who said waiting for sex was a bad decision..There was NOTHING to worry about. That was a wild week. (and it's getting better everytime we do it). Since we started the week w/me being sick we HAD to end the week w/me getting my PERIOD. One of the worst one's I have ever had!! But we managed to still have a good time and get back in one piece. E also told me that he does want to have a baby and so I threw our hat into the TTC ring!!
• November: E and I had our first HUGE fight this month, but after we did, everything got better. E realized Im not his mom and I realized he's not a mind reader. On the 4th, America elected the first African-American to be our next president. This was a long and dirty campaign, on both sides and it was such a relief for it to be over. I guess we'll see what his election brings (and it has to better, since it can't really get much worse). E FINALLY got a new car (a lovely Toyota Camry) which we love, but it was hard to get financially. We found out that Angel would be having her c-section on 12-01 and that 3 more parents at preschool were expecting. We had Moo many times this month and she annouced to us that she wants to be the "big sister" so there you have it and we were working on it. We had our 2nd negative cycle and I was a little bit crushed. I tore the trapezius muscle in my back, and got a for sure job offer at my externship site. On the 18th, I celebrated my 26th (gasp) birthday w/my husband and my parents, who took me to a wonderful dinner. I also had suprise cake at preschool and some good lovin from the hub. I also found out this month that a very dear friend had been diagnosed w/breast cancer. It was stage 1, but it was still just scary and sad news to hear (as of now, she has had a lumpectomy and is in the middle of radiation). We ended the month w/my last day at preschool, which was bittersweet. As much drama was there, that place had become my home, my 2nd family and it was hard to leave, but so worth it. And on the 27th, I cooked my first real meal, Thanksgiving Dinner. And it was a smashing success (and I have been cooking ever since).
• December: On the 1st day of this month, Angel and Asher welcomed Dane Lee. He was beautiful and E held a newborn for the first time (and may I just said, he did it SO naturally, it brought a little tear to my eye). And 3 people decided I was pregnant (and not one of them was me). On our 2 month anniversary, our car was broken into and our GPS was stolen, not the kind of celebrating we wanted to do. E started the IMPD process again by taking and passing very well the physical exam. I can say it now, out loud, something I've never said before..On December 10th, I found out I was pregnant. And in DEEP denial. I was not POAS, but in my heart, I knew. And my period was late. And I had a multitude of symptoms. I finally peed on some sticks later, having very faint positives and then nothing. All negatives. I was planning on telling my husband and our families at Christmas time. Then, on December 19, I lost our baby. I was devastated and I am still not completely over it. I was 6wk1d pregnant. I was due on my dad's birthday (08-13). I am now completely terrified that I will never carry to term. I again joined ICLW and received so much love, care, and support from a group of women that don't even know me that I can't begin to repay. I struggled w/the holidays, as I was continually thinking about how I would be telling my husband and the would-be grandparents about the baby, but I celebrated our lives too. On the 26th, my Aunt & Uncle welcomed Grace Lee, their 3rd and BIGGEST baby. She's very adorable. I am healing emotionally and I finally got my sex drive back. My husband has been a rock this month, just giving me space when I need it, but not letting me push him away.
  

I feel like this was the most important year of my life, and I am eternally grateful for everything that I have experienced. I am so excited for 2009 as I get to share it w/my fantastic husband and hopefully, we will add a baby to our family. I am so lucky to be able to connect w/bloggers who don't judge, who are in the same boat as me and that just let me whine and cry if I need to, and who celebrate life w/me. I am thankful for everything I have and everything I am going to experience. Goodbye 2008, welcome 2009!!