Saturday, May 26, 2007
Things I HATE part 1
When my family decides every summer to have all these fucking people over for the Formula 1 race. FINE. When they decide to use my bedroom, NOT FINE. It's like I don't even fucking live here. Cool, and where the hell am I supposed to sleep? It was okay when I was gonna be in California and last year when I wasn't living at home, I understand all that, but guess what? I actually am a PERSON, no one else is giving up their bedroom. And HELLO Im the one going to school and working but who gives a shit right? My sleep and being in my room where my clothes/perfume/bed/computer is, who cares?! NO BIG DEAL. FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK!!! And then my mom has the audacity to ask why this bugs me!?!?! I fucking wonder. Give up your room & find out.
Friday, May 25, 2007
It's been a minute.....But here I am
Update?
1. Im not going to California-EVER. I asked for an answer, seriously, I was like God, I need to know what to do. J told me there was a trip planned to Tahoe and he had to go, so I couldn't visit that week. He asked me to come out some other time & I was like (insert retarded voice) what part of go to school 12 weeks and have 1 week off & that is my 1 week off til September do you not understand? So I told him it wasn't gonna work & he said he'd come out here. Well we talked last Saturday & I told him it'd had been like 75 days (now 82) days since I'd had "relations" and it was no big deal. We were just talking there it was. Then he called me and told ...God this is too long...short story, he told me I was a slut, because I had sex EIGHTY TWO days ago almost 3 months & he didn't...said I was "wishy washy" w/him..When I have been waiting SIX FUCKING YEARS for him, and that he didn't know what to do with me. I told him he didn't get to judge me & that I hadn't been dating ANYONE and there are opportunities, because I wanted to make sure what was going on with him. He said "we will talk about this later" and I was like "NO we will not. DO NOT CALL ME if you do I'll just keep hitting "decline" on the phone. I don't want to talk to you again. I am done. He called that night, I didn't answer and haven't heard from him since. And I have NEVER been more at peace about it. God gave me my answer. First w/him having this trip and then these comments and name calling. I will NEVER again be in an abusive relationship..Whether it's physical, emotional, or mental. And calling me names and trying to judge me, thats abusive & I don't have time. Yay me:)
2. Our Preschool closing program was last night..OMG..it was fantastic even though the majority of my kids didn't show up but thats because they have deadbeat parents,,,except for JA & K..They had a family graduation to go too. But anyway, it was emotional for JE because it was SK's last day..She supposedly was to go back to her birth parents today..but this week her mom hasn't been answering the phone. Birth Parents & Foster Parents had a meeting today so hopefully BP's didn't show so Foster Family can adopt SK & her brother. But you know,it's in God's hands. Like Mrs. B said today we have to trust in God that things work the way they are supposed to. It's a tough situation, but most of our kid come from some kind of messed up family. It's really a hard place to work. Most of the kids I just want to shake the parents and scream at them, look what you have...Why are you f------ up your child SO much!?!?! Some of the kids we won't see again because they are going to kindergarten so that was sad and my first two "babies" are one of those kids. They're staying for the summer program but then they will be gone. That made me tear up a little bit. But Im glad it's over. It's been a stressful month. Summer program here we come!!
3. I currently have a 4.0 GPA. Now, I took an A&P test on Wednesday and didn't do so well I don't think. I've been sick all week..MIGRAINE city...Stress, weather change, period. But more on that in #4. School is kicking my ass. Finals are in TWO weeks. They are gonna be SO hard. All cumulative. Neat. Had another speech, got an A! So let me tell you. this B-word teacher of mine. .So I missed class last Monday because I had a doctors appointment and bronchitis & took the night off. I emailed her & my A&P professor well before class. I asked that if we did anything class they let me know or just let me know to get w/another student. My A&P professor let me know we reviewed and I was cleared to take the test the following week. My speech professor told me we didn't do anything in class and that my speech topic was cleared. So I come into class on Monday morning & we have an EXAM that day & a speech due WEDNESDAY!! She changed the whole damn syllabus!! So when I asked her about it she was super bitchy & said she didn't have time to email everyone. Okay, I got that, but you could've just said talk to another student. B-WORD!
4. MIGRAINES SUCK!!!! I've had some kind of one since Monday. Black circles in front of my eyes, dizziness, sick to my stomach etc. I left class early twice and work early once. I have one in the back of my head right now. I've had a Darvocet tonight so thats why its just barely there..but soon it'll be back full force. I know part of it is from my period..so hopefully the headaches will be gone by the end of the weekend.
Okay...thats all for now..Im done & tired.. I wanna make a new counter...
1. Im not going to California-EVER. I asked for an answer, seriously, I was like God, I need to know what to do. J told me there was a trip planned to Tahoe and he had to go, so I couldn't visit that week. He asked me to come out some other time & I was like (insert retarded voice) what part of go to school 12 weeks and have 1 week off & that is my 1 week off til September do you not understand? So I told him it wasn't gonna work & he said he'd come out here. Well we talked last Saturday & I told him it'd had been like 75 days (now 82) days since I'd had "relations" and it was no big deal. We were just talking there it was. Then he called me and told ...God this is too long...short story, he told me I was a slut, because I had sex EIGHTY TWO days ago almost 3 months & he didn't...said I was "wishy washy" w/him..When I have been waiting SIX FUCKING YEARS for him, and that he didn't know what to do with me. I told him he didn't get to judge me & that I hadn't been dating ANYONE and there are opportunities, because I wanted to make sure what was going on with him. He said "we will talk about this later" and I was like "NO we will not. DO NOT CALL ME if you do I'll just keep hitting "decline" on the phone. I don't want to talk to you again. I am done. He called that night, I didn't answer and haven't heard from him since. And I have NEVER been more at peace about it. God gave me my answer. First w/him having this trip and then these comments and name calling. I will NEVER again be in an abusive relationship..Whether it's physical, emotional, or mental. And calling me names and trying to judge me, thats abusive & I don't have time. Yay me:)
2. Our Preschool closing program was last night..OMG..it was fantastic even though the majority of my kids didn't show up but thats because they have deadbeat parents,,,except for JA & K..They had a family graduation to go too. But anyway, it was emotional for JE because it was SK's last day..She supposedly was to go back to her birth parents today..but this week her mom hasn't been answering the phone. Birth Parents & Foster Parents had a meeting today so hopefully BP's didn't show so Foster Family can adopt SK & her brother. But you know,it's in God's hands. Like Mrs. B said today we have to trust in God that things work the way they are supposed to. It's a tough situation, but most of our kid come from some kind of messed up family. It's really a hard place to work. Most of the kids I just want to shake the parents and scream at them, look what you have...Why are you f------ up your child SO much!?!?! Some of the kids we won't see again because they are going to kindergarten so that was sad and my first two "babies" are one of those kids. They're staying for the summer program but then they will be gone. That made me tear up a little bit. But Im glad it's over. It's been a stressful month. Summer program here we come!!
3. I currently have a 4.0 GPA. Now, I took an A&P test on Wednesday and didn't do so well I don't think. I've been sick all week..MIGRAINE city...Stress, weather change, period. But more on that in #4. School is kicking my ass. Finals are in TWO weeks. They are gonna be SO hard. All cumulative. Neat. Had another speech, got an A! So let me tell you. this B-word teacher of mine. .So I missed class last Monday because I had a doctors appointment and bronchitis & took the night off. I emailed her & my A&P professor well before class. I asked that if we did anything class they let me know or just let me know to get w/another student. My A&P professor let me know we reviewed and I was cleared to take the test the following week. My speech professor told me we didn't do anything in class and that my speech topic was cleared. So I come into class on Monday morning & we have an EXAM that day & a speech due WEDNESDAY!! She changed the whole damn syllabus!! So when I asked her about it she was super bitchy & said she didn't have time to email everyone. Okay, I got that, but you could've just said talk to another student. B-WORD!
4. MIGRAINES SUCK!!!! I've had some kind of one since Monday. Black circles in front of my eyes, dizziness, sick to my stomach etc. I left class early twice and work early once. I have one in the back of my head right now. I've had a Darvocet tonight so thats why its just barely there..but soon it'll be back full force. I know part of it is from my period..so hopefully the headaches will be gone by the end of the weekend.
Okay...thats all for now..Im done & tired.. I wanna make a new counter...
Sunday, May 13, 2007
Happy Momma's Day
HAPPY MOMMA'S DAY!!!
So my whole family is here at my house & I have about 1 million things to do before tomorrow. I have a MedTerm exam Tuesday along w/ a MLE exam & so some dumbfuck assignment Im not even going to go into because the assignment was made ENTIRELY to stir shit up. Oh and a 3-5 minute speech w/a 1200 word paper due Wednesday. Im not even gonna go into what happened last Thursday (cause I've had to tell the story so many times) except to say that threats were made & so was a police report and now I have escorts to class & to my car. I prob. should be more worried but Im just not. I think things will cool down now that we've have 3 days w/o class. But we'll see. If not, I know what to do. One of my teachers is just really pissing me off w/her little assanine comments and the previously mentioned assignment which Im pretty sure Im not gonna do just because of what the topic is. GOOD LORD. Grow up, we are in college, not middle school. Jeez. Anyway.. Mother-Daughter Banquet was Friday night & it was pretty good.. This girl I used to know, who is seriously, certifiably crazy, stared at me the whole time so that was weird, but the entertainment was good minus the damn handbells & bellchimes. They are SO annoying and I feel bad saying that because my gramma plays handbells, but still, they are awful. Yuck! Im am SO ready for this quarter to be over and to have my happy ass in California..I wish I could figure out how to add that ticker to my journal, but I'll just have to keep adding it whenever it goes off the screen. So I have like 3 guys that want to go on a date and get this Im TOO TIRED to do anything on the weekends. Remember the old days when I had a social life on the weekends? OMG..Friday I get home and I am SO exhausted I pretty much watch whatever Netflix movie came that week & go to bed..Saturday is usually my study day, and I do study all day, and then Sunday is family & more studying. Seriously..How am I every gonna get a bf w/this schedule? I guess I can have a bf after school is over. Although, I think if I get a bf or get serious w/someone, I'd make time for them. But right now, just going out on a date, having to wear something other than capri pants (work) or scrubs (school) seems like too much work..lol..Maybe things will work out really well in Cali and I won't have to worry about it..But I strongly doubt that. Take this example..CalBoy calls Friday night to tell me he's going out partying or whatver, fine. FYI: last time he did that he got SO drunk he ended up wandering on the fucking FREEWAY!!! He never gets that drunk so I can't believe he's doing it again. He says he'll call sometime Saturday, once again, fine. So I clean and go to store w/mi madre on Saturday and then go watch GiGi & BooBear and he calls at like 9:00..UMM WTF? So I ask (sarcastically) if he just got up? And he's like no, of course not and I was like why didn't you call sooner? He says, "because I didn't feel like it." Well fuck you then! Damn! Nothin like being harsh. I was like, well are you SURE you feel like talking NOW? Cause I wouldn't want to twist your damn arm. And he was like what do you want to talk about? Fuck if I know. You called me. We could talk about what were gonna do when I come visit, how there is no way Im spending 10 HOURS in the Sacramento airport and how YOU need to figure out how Im getting to your place (we had a full on fight about this on Monday night), we could talk about how you need to decide if you want to be with me or not, how Im not wasting 6 more years waiting for you to grow up and stop dicking around. Seriously. when we decided I was coming out, I said it was w/o expectations and it was, until I realized we've ben dating on & off for SIX YEARS!! YEARS, not months, YEARS!! I was w/Cheater-Beater for 10 months but other then that Cali-Boy & I have been hemming & hawing for six years. It's time to shit or get off the pot. He's gonna be 28 this year. It's time to make a decision & I swear to GOD if I fly out there and it's like it was when I went out last September (he was a jerk, obviously) Im charging my change ticket fee to his credit card and coming home. I can't date anyone else fully if I think there *might* be something with him. Now I know I make him sound like a real ass hat, but he is the only man I've ever loved LOVED, LOVED. I still do. He'll always have a little piece of my heart & when we are together it is AMAZING. He is wonderful so I don't know, but we have to make a decision or I'll never be able to move on & I don't know if I should tell him before I go out or just wait and see how it goes when I get out there. Hopefully he has the same thoughts, even if he thinks we shouldn't be together. Ughh..thats all for now, more later Im sure since the crazy side of family is here. Must go do MLE homework
So my whole family is here at my house & I have about 1 million things to do before tomorrow. I have a MedTerm exam Tuesday along w/ a MLE exam & so some dumbfuck assignment Im not even going to go into because the assignment was made ENTIRELY to stir shit up. Oh and a 3-5 minute speech w/a 1200 word paper due Wednesday. Im not even gonna go into what happened last Thursday (cause I've had to tell the story so many times) except to say that threats were made & so was a police report and now I have escorts to class & to my car. I prob. should be more worried but Im just not. I think things will cool down now that we've have 3 days w/o class. But we'll see. If not, I know what to do. One of my teachers is just really pissing me off w/her little assanine comments and the previously mentioned assignment which Im pretty sure Im not gonna do just because of what the topic is. GOOD LORD. Grow up, we are in college, not middle school. Jeez. Anyway.. Mother-Daughter Banquet was Friday night & it was pretty good.. This girl I used to know, who is seriously, certifiably crazy, stared at me the whole time so that was weird, but the entertainment was good minus the damn handbells & bellchimes. They are SO annoying and I feel bad saying that because my gramma plays handbells, but still, they are awful. Yuck! Im am SO ready for this quarter to be over and to have my happy ass in California..I wish I could figure out how to add that ticker to my journal, but I'll just have to keep adding it whenever it goes off the screen. So I have like 3 guys that want to go on a date and get this Im TOO TIRED to do anything on the weekends. Remember the old days when I had a social life on the weekends? OMG..Friday I get home and I am SO exhausted I pretty much watch whatever Netflix movie came that week & go to bed..Saturday is usually my study day, and I do study all day, and then Sunday is family & more studying. Seriously..How am I every gonna get a bf w/this schedule? I guess I can have a bf after school is over. Although, I think if I get a bf or get serious w/someone, I'd make time for them. But right now, just going out on a date, having to wear something other than capri pants (work) or scrubs (school) seems like too much work..lol..Maybe things will work out really well in Cali and I won't have to worry about it..But I strongly doubt that. Take this example..CalBoy calls Friday night to tell me he's going out partying or whatver, fine. FYI: last time he did that he got SO drunk he ended up wandering on the fucking FREEWAY!!! He never gets that drunk so I can't believe he's doing it again. He says he'll call sometime Saturday, once again, fine. So I clean and go to store w/mi madre on Saturday and then go watch GiGi & BooBear and he calls at like 9:00..UMM WTF? So I ask (sarcastically) if he just got up? And he's like no, of course not and I was like why didn't you call sooner? He says, "because I didn't feel like it." Well fuck you then! Damn! Nothin like being harsh. I was like, well are you SURE you feel like talking NOW? Cause I wouldn't want to twist your damn arm. And he was like what do you want to talk about? Fuck if I know. You called me. We could talk about what were gonna do when I come visit, how there is no way Im spending 10 HOURS in the Sacramento airport and how YOU need to figure out how Im getting to your place (we had a full on fight about this on Monday night), we could talk about how you need to decide if you want to be with me or not, how Im not wasting 6 more years waiting for you to grow up and stop dicking around. Seriously. when we decided I was coming out, I said it was w/o expectations and it was, until I realized we've ben dating on & off for SIX YEARS!! YEARS, not months, YEARS!! I was w/Cheater-Beater for 10 months but other then that Cali-Boy & I have been hemming & hawing for six years. It's time to shit or get off the pot. He's gonna be 28 this year. It's time to make a decision & I swear to GOD if I fly out there and it's like it was when I went out last September (he was a jerk, obviously) Im charging my change ticket fee to his credit card and coming home. I can't date anyone else fully if I think there *might* be something with him. Now I know I make him sound like a real ass hat, but he is the only man I've ever loved LOVED, LOVED. I still do. He'll always have a little piece of my heart & when we are together it is AMAZING. He is wonderful so I don't know, but we have to make a decision or I'll never be able to move on & I don't know if I should tell him before I go out or just wait and see how it goes when I get out there. Hopefully he has the same thoughts, even if he thinks we shouldn't be together. Ughh..thats all for now, more later Im sure since the crazy side of family is here. Must go do MLE homework
Tuesday, May 8, 2007
Here I am
Good Lord it's been about 20 years since I posted..or what 5 days? Anyway, Im at school right now getting ready to go to class..Lets see, what's happened since last time?
1. D-R-A-M-A at preschool & school-school. Preschool: some teachers & director knocked heads-->no resolution because director left town for 4 days-->teachers start planning summer program w/o director (who incidentally, had decided a couple of months ago that she was leaving at the end of May)-->director comes back and announces that she is not leaving in May (yay!)and that we shall commence w/summer plans (I wasn't one of the teachers that knocked heads & I was asked to make the summer schedule of hours, so hopefully it's approved cause if it isn't Im gonna be pissed, it's fantastic. Everyone got the hours they want/need and there's no room to budge. We have 9 employees and we have to keep the hours below 210, we're at 189 now)
School: 2 girls cheat-->I turn them in because I don't think it's okay for them to cheat & me not be able to. I would've gotten an A also if used my notes for the test-->last week (Wednesday) I skip said class and the shit hits the fan-->one of the girls gets in the teachers face because he marked her absent because she leaves early EVERY SINGLE CLASS or falls asleep-->she and another girl get into it-->she gets written up-->yesterday I go to said class & she starts w/our teacher again who goes ballistic and has someone from the office escort her out of class-->she is talked to (I don't know what happened or whom she spoke with)-->she's allowed to come back to class-->ends up not doing her test-->leaves early-->gets marked absent..Does she not see a trend here?!?!?!? What an a-hole.
2. I am SOOOOOOOOOOO tired. I swear I don't sleep at all anymore and Im not sure why. I think last week/weekend it was just stress at work and now my body can't get it together to go to sleep. Im also inundated w/homework so Im constantly thinking about what I have due, what tests are coming up ETC.
Okay..thats all for now..I just looked at the clock & I have to go to class..I'll update after school tonight..
1. D-R-A-M-A at preschool & school-school. Preschool: some teachers & director knocked heads-->no resolution because director left town for 4 days-->teachers start planning summer program w/o director (who incidentally, had decided a couple of months ago that she was leaving at the end of May)-->director comes back and announces that she is not leaving in May (yay!)and that we shall commence w/summer plans (I wasn't one of the teachers that knocked heads & I was asked to make the summer schedule of hours, so hopefully it's approved cause if it isn't Im gonna be pissed, it's fantastic. Everyone got the hours they want/need and there's no room to budge. We have 9 employees and we have to keep the hours below 210, we're at 189 now)
School: 2 girls cheat-->I turn them in because I don't think it's okay for them to cheat & me not be able to. I would've gotten an A also if used my notes for the test-->last week (Wednesday) I skip said class and the shit hits the fan-->one of the girls gets in the teachers face because he marked her absent because she leaves early EVERY SINGLE CLASS or falls asleep-->she and another girl get into it-->she gets written up-->yesterday I go to said class & she starts w/our teacher again who goes ballistic and has someone from the office escort her out of class-->she is talked to (I don't know what happened or whom she spoke with)-->she's allowed to come back to class-->ends up not doing her test-->leaves early-->gets marked absent..Does she not see a trend here?!?!?!? What an a-hole.
2. I am SOOOOOOOOOOO tired. I swear I don't sleep at all anymore and Im not sure why. I think last week/weekend it was just stress at work and now my body can't get it together to go to sleep. Im also inundated w/homework so Im constantly thinking about what I have due, what tests are coming up ETC.
Okay..thats all for now..I just looked at the clock & I have to go to class..I'll update after school tonight..
Wednesday, May 2, 2007
My first post...awww
So I read other people's blogs all the time and thought it was time to get one of my own..So yay for me! Anyway..my life in a nutshell
1. Im a preschool teacher..a job which a love w/people that I don't (well not all the time, but sometime I can't handle the DRAMA)
2. Im in school to get my associates..I'll be a Certified Medical Assistant next September and then *hopefully* I'll begin working towards my RN..It should be only an 18 mo. program so hopefully I'll be finished by March 2009.
3. Im busy pretty much all the effin time. Social life? What is that? This also means Im single..The most important thing in my life right now is school..everything else is secondary
Is that everything basically? I think so..I don't know how often I'll be on here..Most of the time during the week I only have time to get online at school and they block certain sites and I don't know if this is one or not..I'll try to update as often as possible..I think it'll be theraputic..So thats all for now..
1. Im a preschool teacher..a job which a love w/people that I don't (well not all the time, but sometime I can't handle the DRAMA)
2. Im in school to get my associates..I'll be a Certified Medical Assistant next September and then *hopefully* I'll begin working towards my RN..It should be only an 18 mo. program so hopefully I'll be finished by March 2009.
3. Im busy pretty much all the effin time. Social life? What is that? This also means Im single..The most important thing in my life right now is school..everything else is secondary
Is that everything basically? I think so..I don't know how often I'll be on here..Most of the time during the week I only have time to get online at school and they block certain sites and I don't know if this is one or not..I'll try to update as often as possible..I think it'll be theraputic..So thats all for now..
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