Wednesday, October 18, 2006
Chris Rock's Mom Claims Discrimation
It's called 'Cracker Barrel' for crying out loud. Chris must be running out of material and put her up to this
Monday, July 10, 2006
Frank
In my backyard last year, a bunny got penned up in some chicken wire that was laying around. I took a few pictures of him as he hopped around before I set him free.
This year, a rabbit comes visiting to eat my mother's plants. I'm pretty sure it's the same rabbit b/c he's got the same white bindi on his forehead. Unlike other rabbits, this one lets me walk up relatively close to him w/o running away. I wonder if he remembers me from last year, kinda like the velveteen rabbit dropping in on the boy.
Friday, May 19, 2006
One Stone, Two Birds
I suppose you're either too old for one or too young for the other, but if there's a middle ground, people doing the 30 hour famine might as well get colonoscopies afterwards.
Tuesday, April 11, 2006
Fantasy Sidewalk
A new life, complete with address.
Wednesday, April 05, 2006
123456
Damn, I missed seeing both 01:02:03 04/05/06s. I s'pose for us non-Americans we can do it backwards on May 4.
Friday, March 24, 2006
You Don't Have to Live Like a Refugee
If any of you young, single, Portugese ladies facing deportation are looking to find a Canadian boy to marry to stay in the country, look no further... than here.
Monday, March 20, 2006
If You Prick Us, Do We Not Bleed?
Frankly, between movies such as Failure to Launch and them cheese commercials, I find the recent rash of humour directed against mature individuals whom for whatever reason, still live w/ their parental units and are w/o any plans to leave the nest in the foreseeable future, a bit disturbing. Sure, it's just a few harmless jokes now, but if this current trend keeps rising, it won't be long before it turns into discrimination, and following that, outright hatred. That’s why it has to stop now. So stop eating cheese so long as they are running these ads, and if you find yourself going to see Failure to Launch, go see V for Vendetta instead.
Thursday, March 02, 2006
You Say Turin, I Say Torino
I say this as a positively straight, heterosexual male, but what I'd really like to see in the next Winter Olympics is gay figure skating pairs. I think that would be great.
Is short track speed skating relay not the most intense and exhilarating event to watch? They need more of it.
Last time it was a loonie, this time loonies and a gold leaf--I'm scared to think how much crap is going to be burried in the ice when it's our turn to host the Olympics.
24 medals and yet still such a bitter taste in our mouths. I think I know what will give our hockey teams an edge in the next Olympics though. Kimchee. From here on out, we feed our 2010 Canadian hockey team hopefuls good heapings of kimchee at every meal. I don't know what it is about that stuff, but damn does it ever make one skate fast.
Time to put Brian Williams back into storage for another 2 years.
Friday, December 16, 2005
The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe **
Head up the 427 and exit East onto Rexdale Blvd. Make a left at Queen's Plate Dr. and go into Woodbine Centre. Once inside, head to Sears on the upper floor, proceed to the left of the back wall, opposite the mall entrance. At the place that leads to the staff area, there you will find a lamppost. Hang a left and you're back inside the wardrobe...in the real world.
Wednesday, October 19, 2005
Speeding Ticket
Hmmm... 63%, you say?
Wednesday, October 05, 2005
Serenity **½
This B-movie finally answers that age old question: Who would in a fight between Morpheus and Han Solo?
Thursday, September 01, 2005
Currently Listening To:
New Orleans is Sinking - The Tragically Hip
When the Levee Breaks - Led Zeppelin
Bad Moon Rising - Creedence Clearwater Revival
Rock You Like a Hurricane - Scorpions
Walking on Sunshine - Katrina and the Waves
So when they pump the water out and fix everything, or better yet, move, will it be called 'New New Orleans'?
Thursday, August 04, 2005
A Channel
I was wondering when the were going to drop the "new" from the New VR, being that it wasn't exactly new anymore. Now I'm wondering how long it took those ad wizards to come up w/ this new name and how many who's-on-first jokes they told while coming up w/ it.
Thursday, June 09, 2005
Smells Like Senior Spirit
Did anyone catch Paul Anka on Letterman last night? He seems to be the latest to take songs w/ a harder sound and interpret them in a soft way. Gotta admit, jazzed up Smells Like Teen Spirit sounds better than I can imagine Diana would in grunge. The novelty is kinda fun, but I tell ya, Kurt must be spinning like crazy. I guess there's a lesson to be learnt in all of this. Kids, if you plan on killing yourself at a young age and you don’t want people butchering your short life’s work, don’t marry a drug addict.
Wednesday, June 08, 2005
Learning To Fly
Last month I was in my backyard when I noticed this mama bird giving flight lessons to her baby bird. She was hopping from limb to limb to tree to tree, all the while chirping loudly, encouraging baby bird to follow. What baby bird lacked in confidence, he made up for in perseverance. In my best attempts to mimic mama bird’s calls, I tried to get baby bird to come to me instead. I even tried drowning out mama bird. But alas, baby bird, though briefly distracted, was having none of that (or perhaps my bird calling skills needs work). At that moment, I thought to myself, “Damn, if only I were a pastor, then I could probably work this into some cheesy Christian analogy for a sermon.”
Saturday, May 28, 2005
ok, so about that thought i had the other day...
you know how it's 'normal' for guys to check out girls and talk about them as objects? well, it really bothers me. but it especially bothers me when guys who have girlfriends do that.
i have a question for all you girls out there with bf's - does it bother you when/if your bf does that? how do you react? how do you handle it?
i am VERY thankful that my boy doesn't do that at all. he actually finds it very offensive when guys do that. even before i was in the picture. :D
for the guys - i won't bother asking you guys what you think of it cuz you'll probably say that it's normal and/or that it's ok for you to look, but not act on it. if you've got something to say other than that, let's hear it. :) but we all know guys who simply say - oh, she looks good. versus those that literally drool over girls or constantly talk about 'hot girls'. bleh. it's the second that i have problems with.
Monday, May 23, 2005
gosh, it's been forever since i wrote anything in here. thanx to element b for keeping the masses entertained in my absence. :P
i wonder if any of my faithful fans still read this... show of hands? my dad told me he still does. lol.
i was just gonna write something after reading someone else's blog that provoked a thought. but my dad just called me to help him cook lobster. lobster tonight, baby!! 2 days this wkd!! (ed's mom made lobster for me when i went over for dinner on sat night :D)
ok, gotta go. maybe i'll blog again later.
Wednesday, May 18, 2005
For those of you watching the movie today...
Thursday, April 07, 2005
Crazy Commercials
Have you seen these?
There's this one, it has a school yard tease playing in the background to the chant of "I love always". On the screen is a dot swimming in a sea of red, I kid you not. Pull out to some kid eating a red "Triple Treat" jell-o cup. I fell out of my seat puking in disgust.
And then there's this Crest one for some teeth whitening gunk. I wasn't even paying attention to this one, but I hear, "It's like those weight losing programs, but only it works!", and I look up only to see this really fat lady who said it. I fell out of my seat dying of laughter.
The funny thing is, this was all during one commercial break. Never before have I had to pick myself up off the floor twice in one commerical break.
Wednesday, March 30, 2005
The Pharaoh and I
Every Easter when I see The Ten Commandments on TV, I keep thinking that Weird Al should do a parody of The Who's You Better You Bet.
When I say I love you, you say "Yul Brynner!"
Yul Brynner, Yul Brynner, you bet
When I say I need you, you say "Yul Brynner!"
Yul Brynner, Yul Brynner, you bet
I suppose I think of that everytime I hear that song too. Kinda ruins the song sometimes. Another song that got ruined for me is Elton John's Tiny Dancer, when I read on a message board somewhere:
Hold me closa Tony Danza...
