When fate decides to lend a hand,
all you have to do is go with the flow,
but when fate decides to turn its back on you,
you will have more to do than to fall and weep.
-kelli

it has been long since i blogged (like 4+ years before my uni!) decided to revive this as i have some thoughts and ramblings that just want to pen down.. looking back the post seems so childish HAHA. we do grow up with time do we? (:

life seems to get more complicated as we grow up though. the burden of being responsible even when we dont want to. the things that people hold you to just with a passing remark. i know i do think a lot maybe that is why i am more sensitive to the everyday happenings around me.

but that being said i grew to appreciate all the 真心话 and feedback about myself as i grow up. such things are really hard to come by at such an age and perhaps even less frequent in future. i find myself gradually sugarcoating my words lately and less straightforward. seems like jl was right we live in a world of half truths all the time.

but again, there are always things to make you smile. had some ME time today and bought 3 pairs of shoes and 2 pairs of earrings  as i ran into shoe crisis. find it sosososo hard to curb my spending.

thank you God for all the yesterdays and today! muacks! <3 p="">



going to be away for UIP camp! yayy.

i am feeling so dead. seems like there is one thousand and one things to do but sighh. owells. i am bidding on ebay as a christmas pressie for my dear brother! yayy! christmas is coming!! wanna go shopping one day HHAHHAHA.

ok continue when i am back from camp!



back from RCYC. and down with a fever and sore throat. owells. my mummy was saying i probab.y didnt sleep and eat enough etc etc.

hahaha. was looking through the cadet's blogs. somehow missing the days when i burnt all my days and weekends for redcross! somehow it seems impossible to go back to those days. where you are still a participant (:

not that i didnt enjoy myself. i miss BRAVO. haha miss their aeroplane cheer. yeah, like most other division mentors, i become a bit sick of it after hearing it for 50 times. yet by the fourth day, i actually miss the woo woo woo by them.

anyway, going to bug ambrose sir to post up the photos soon. HAHAHA. and got another upcoming camp (havent tell my daddy yet but i bet he is going to scold me again for going for camp and informing last minute, LOL) UIP! yay! and and going to be in NDP next year! hehe. so lookin forward. yay.



I FEEL DAMN CHEATED BY THIS WHOLE A LEVELS.

haha. all the subjects somehow either turn out that heavily emphasis on some topics. (and therefore there is no damn need to study some topics.) or else they come out some rubbish that you never ever heard of and you think you will never hear of in the short run. (therefore defeating the need to study in the first place). i think it is a common feeling. some form of insecurity. this whole a levels is like crazy or something wrong. eek.

totally didnt reallie know what i was writing for econs today. ok i had some clue but just feeling so not confident. when we finish the paper and the invigilator collect. then she said " the paper very hard" and then she continue "who do question 1..? best wishes" LOL. and then after i finish my head just very pain. the whole paper is like.. no words can describe. LOL.

sighh. vent finish already. no use worrying anyway. i will only know of the aftermath next year. LOL



here am i blogging again. somehow perhaps everyone is trying to drown themselves with general knowledge so that we will appear smart and knowledgeable for monday's paper. owells. it is so amazing. human emotions. somehow all these emotions arise from one thing. uncertainty.

somehow no matter how hard you prepared. deep down somewhere you know there is a probability you may not get your desired grade. it all depends on what you write when you flip the paper on the very day of the exam. all your preparation may be equals to nothing if you fail to deliver.

i too face such uncertainty. was feeling frenzy few days ago. but have manage to calm myself down with prayers and some others' encouragement. cindy was telling me the other day. score for God's glory. yupp. i guess the last thing i can ever do is to freak out.

ohh and i found out some thing today. dry ice was made up of water AND carbon dioxide. yep perhaps i was dumb for the longest time without realising that. apparently (according to my bro) dry ice freezes at -78 degrees. haha why the sudden urge to find out right. had cold rock ice cream again! yupp. my fav. had honeycomb and cookies and cream ice cream mixed with tim tums and violet crumble. yayy. so niceeee.

17 more days!



i decided to revive my blog cus i suddenly felt that i need somewhere to pen my thoughts again. not sure if anyone will read. but just to pen it down.

i am suddenly feeling tired and sians about life lately. But by God's grace, somehow could find the strength to drag myself to go study through the little things that interest me and perhaps some inner strength given to me. suddenly scared and fearful of the future. recently not sure why but i began to think back and realise how fast things change. somehow people there two years ago were not there anymore. somehow in primary school, the familarity was always there. because your classmates will still somehow end up in the same class as you as you progress. similarly in seconday school, though change classes during lower sec and upper sec, there is still some degree of familarity considering the close-ness we girls are.

but somehow when it comes to jc. things somehow just fly before you know it. that applies to the so called outside world as well. staff that once belong there may not be there after two years. just merely one year later they may be working for another organisation. just like comparing rcy now and a year ago, it is somehow the juniors being pro-active and doing the work. oh wells. perhaps as we move up, we become more laid back as we begin giving up the hope that we can change things. the passion, the belief seems hard to substain in the long run.

i having second thoughts. with regards to some things. much as he is right beside me at times, yet my mind wanders beyond. i really wonder if i should just continue this. it is somehow good to be alone at times. i miss the times that i just think. the very trait that a thinker has to be called a thinker.

anyway lets talk about more definite things. after a levels. whee. UIP! yay, looking forward to camp! hahahah. i miss camps! (:



i am going to update less and less often. haha. i know it's quite dead. and the tagboard is down. not planning to replace it anyway. since the people that are concerned rather sms or meet me in person. lol. i recently love this song very very much. oldie. so probably most young people never heard of it. changing partners by kay starr. lurve the melody!

We were waltzin' together to a dreamy melody
When they called out "Change partners"
And you waltzed away from me
Now my arms feel so empty as I gaze around the floor
And I'll keep on changing partners
Till I hold you once more

Though we danced for one moment and too soon we had to part
In that wonderful moment somethin' happened to my heart
So I'll keep changing partners till you're in my arms and then
Oh, my darlin' I will never change partners again

school is going to start. and i am soon going to say bye to redcross indefinitely. i know i said it umpteen times so this time i shant repeat and just going to do it. after flag day, this time i wanna give it all to canoe, church and 07s65. no more getting distracted. no more skipping school.
looking back this year. i am contented with what i gained really. in terms of relationships. in terms of spiritual. some of them, some people, already meant the world to me. sometimes, just a few hours with someone special can be fulfilling. love is only meaningful when given away. someone told me that. and i tried giving it away more fully this year. but i suppose the pitfall of giving love away is that you are afraid you will get hurt instead.

OHH. and i am getting a new nephew. that makes nine. feeling old.

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