Sho I shaid, "It's YOUR convention, YOU get out," and she shaid...

Whoooooo. I'm back from the BlogHer convention and I must still be a wee bit drunk because as far as I can tell, this listing Joanne found shows one of those overstuffed sofas, just right for watching Beverly Hills 90210 while wearing your high-waist jeans and drinking Orbitz, and the sofa is leaning against a wall, and that can't be right. So carry on without me. I'll be right back after a wee lie-down. On the ceiling.

Come home, all is forgiven

Oh, no! I was just thinking this morning that Chair hadn't shown up in a while. It turns out Chair had made its way over to the Netherlands, where Nicolet found him. Like so many people on their big youthful European trip, it seems Chair has fallen in with a bad crowd. Stop, Chair! Come back! America's sunny backyards are waiting for you!

Sleep with the fishes, kid

Like most parents, I sometimes -- no more than ten or twenty times a day -- think I'm royally messing up my kids through my incompetence. But then I look at this listing, found on Foute Huizen, and I realize that so long as I'm not deliberately and painstakingly inducing nightmares in my kids I'm probably okay.

I must go down to pee again

Found on the excellent (and inspired by It's Lovely!) new blog Foute Huizen: this doomed ship. I guess when you run out of toilet paper you have a choice to make. Do you go buy more TP, or do you turn the pot into a place for your kids to play?

Holland: Land of Tanning Beds

This houseboat was found by Sue, who thinks it's a retirement home for circus folk. The tent-like roof; the King Tut mask; the mirrors; where to begin? (Click through for the bathroom with the wall mounted TV, the tanning bed, and the gnomes and Native American Buddha around the tub.) But oddly enough, my eye is caught by the flower arrangement above. Are those two fly swatters sticking out of it?

You be the judge

"No one will notice it's a pot plant," writes Sue. "Just stick it in the office." OK, I'm naive, and most of what I know about pot plants comes from watching jPod. Really? Is this a pot plant? In a listing? I know it's Holland, but still.

Boo

"I don't know what was in the fridge that would scare someone out of his shoes, but apparently it walked off on its own," writes Sue. "Either that or the Invisible Man is having an invisible snack."

One way to get rid of bedbugs (zzzap!)

Sue found this practical bit of furniture. Sure, it looks like a nice comfy bed, doesn't it? But look closely -- really closely -- wait, no, don't bother looking closely, just glance at it, because it's really freakin' obvious that it's a tanning bed. A tanning bed with a blankie and some comfy pillows.

Have you ever looked at the wallpaper? I mean, really looked at the wallpaper?

Another Dutch find of Sue's. I would make a joke about hallucinogens, but my mom reads this blog. (Everyone, wave hello to my mom!)

Not just clogs and windmills

This just goes to show what an ignoramus I can be. Who knew that voodoo rooms are standard in Holland?

(Found by Sue.)