This post is in honor of Mister Rogers

The normal sequence for goldfish pet-ownership
Step 1: Get goldfish
Step 2: Enjoy goldfish as a pet
Step 3: Notice goldfish is floating upside-down
Step 4: Flush deceased goldfish

Abridged version, as found by Lauren:
Step 1: Get goldfish
Step 2: Flush goldfish
Step 3: Repeat

Elvis has, in fact, not left the building.

Can I get you anything else, ma'am? Maybe a nice peanut butter and bacon sandwich?

(Found by Janette. Sorry about using the obvious "left the building" joke, but I have no will power. Mmmm. Bacon.)

Someone didn't get the memo

"Uh, Toaster Oven? Yeah, we were all kind of going for a theme, you know? Phone wore its dial, and Cabinets all came with their steel fronts. Even Bathroom Floor agreed to dress up in pink and gray. So... what I'm saying... look, it's nothing personal, but toaster ovens don't really go with what we're trying to do, okay? So, if you wouldn't mind just, you know, going for a walk or something? Thanks, man. No hard feelings, right?"

(Via Metafilter.)

I blame myself

Clearly the owners of this building (found by Misty) saw this post, thought it was a great idea, and copied it. Sorry about that.

Take my breath away-ee-ee-ayyy-eee-eee-ayyy-eee-ee-ayyyy

Oh, my. The hair! The glasses! The minidress! The including of this photo at all! Anonymous, who found this listing, points out that "if you can't tell how old the photos are by her clothes, MO hasn't had the maroon license plate since 1996."

I have an urge to go watch Top Gun.