Driving around town

If there’s an award called ‘Top 10 World Worst Driver’ then Malaysian will sure be among the tops. Driving instructor only teach us basic driving skills until we meet them …


The Cutter
Immediately cut in from the right lane to make a turning on the left and cause you to step on your break so that these idiots don’t knock your car in the middle of the road!


The Fast & Furious
Not qualified to enter F1, so they terrorize highways with their re-vamp cars. They will suddenly appear out of nowhere and zip-zap along the lanes to show off their skills.


The Q-Jumper
Why queue up when you can easily go right up to the front and cut it? Double line? What double line? Other drivers will sure give way one. Who cares if the others have been following rules and queuing up for the past 1 hour? Duh!


The Slow-Mow
Drive at 30 km/hour on the fastest lane at the highway when 10 others car are following from behind. This is probably because their ancestors used to tar the road so they think it belongs to their clan!


The Tailgater
They like to follow closely even if you are driving according to the normal traffic flow. They will flash their lights and horn so that you can move to the side and let them pass! Piles up accidents are no thanks to this kind of brainless fools.


The Uncle
The last time they drove around town is 50 years ago when the traffic is no traffic at all. The only jam they knew existed is strawberry jam. So when they attempted to hit the road with their well kept Austin, to them it’s just a leisure Sunday drive on a Monday morning. Thank your guiding angel when they happen to be in front of you la.


The Harley-Davidson wannabe driving kapchai
Some motorcyclist (especially young chaps) never sticks to one lane but likes to cuts in and out between traffic. They can hit at your bumper or side mirror even if you have stop in front of the traffic light! The only reason they survive so long is because their luck is still by their side and they don't know how to write one word - DEAD!


The Road Blocker
This type of motorcyclist rides slowly in the middle lane where traffic is zooming on the left and right lane. You are stuck behind them … hoping they will move to the left side and let you pass! But they will not budge because they think nobody dare to hit them!


The Pedestrians
Their cross the roads without looking left or right. They love to cross below the pedestrian bridge. They will cross half way, stand in between traffic and wait for car to stop for them. And the best part is they take their own sweet time to crawl over and you have to slow down to avoid knocking them.


The Road Bully
Just because they are driving big buses and they can just cut into your lane. The stop whenever they feel like picking up a passenger even if the bus stop is just 10 meters away. Nothing you can do to stop them unless you drive a vehicle bigger than the bus!


The Irritating Taxi Fellas
Just stop whenever, wherever they like ... as long as there are passengers flagging at them. Cut into your lane without indicator. Horn at you when your speed are slightly below 80 km/h. What's their problem? Because you are blocking them from reaching their destination using the fastest route and picking up another passenger!


The Double-Parker
They can't walk. They must get out of their car in front of the hawker stall, shopping mall and shops. No. They don't care. Must park right there. Double-park la what else. All cars have to slow down to avoid 'kissing' the double-parker. I always hope that one big truck will come by and just knock the car to the other side of the road. That will be a scene to remember!


Driving will be such a breeze if not because of these selfish people out there. When can they learn to respect others on the road? I guess nothing will change in the next 10 years. And I don't agree that all women driver should be banned from driving because men can equally be as bad! So be cautioned on the road and drive smart folks.

Corporate Slaves

This April, I’ve been stuck with my current company for 9-years! This is my 4th job.


I’ve worked in the tourism industry. No free travel but I enjoyed their staff’s benefits. Working on Saturday is like spending time in a cinema without paying! There’s a 2-hours movie time during working hours and if you have nothing to do, you can watch movies they picked for the day. We get discounted lunch voucher for a 3 dishes meal + 1 soup + fruits. And a Leon Lai look-a-like boss. Now beat that!


My toughest job was working as an insurance agent for 3 years. Worked 7 days a week, 2 hours meeting every morning, 3 times a week night meeting until 11.00 pm. Full suit even on Sunday. No basic salary, earned commissions to pay for the compulsory seminar fees, phone bills, clerk salary (shared among all agents), gifts for potential/existing clients, lunches/dinners for clients (I usually don’t eat with them to save $). I live near the Zoo and have to the bus (no LRT at that time and cannot afford taxi) to places like Subang, Kajang to do sales presentations and there’s no guarantee how many times I need to return to close the sale. Compulsory to do cold calls if no appointments. Back home by 10.00 pm every night and the next day have to reach office by 8.00 am! I barely earn enough to survive but I learned how to handle different kind of people and I finally realize that I’m actually the buyer not the seller!


Working as sales admin in a Swiss watch company. The only benefit is that staff can purchase any watches at 40% discount. I learned from this place that when the boss don't like you, no matter how hard working you are they would purposely find fault in your job, no chance for promotion, no hope on the bonus. And by the time you will be so pissed that you want to resign immediately!

I’ve worked with 5 different bosses under 2 departments in my current job. So what have I learned from all these working experiences?


You feel excited joining an organization on the 1st year, can survive the 2nd year, trying to stay alert the 3rd year, still floating in the 4th year, barely can breath in the 5th year and practically ‘dead’ by next year! Find the right career path. If you like what you do, then congratulations ... you have landed on the right job but if not, perhaps it's time to think about other options. The world is changing every minute and if we keep stagnant, we will be left behind.


No matter how unreasonable or even if your boss is hell-sent (most of the time), never fight back! Do not show your anger in front of him/her unless you are quitting the next day! Tai chi is the way to deal with them. Off your mobile when you are taking a 10 minutes break at the mamak stall so that you don't have to swallow the whole roti canai in 3 seconds when your boss call! Never return any missed calls from the office if you are on leave because it's about time they learn who actually do work in the company.


Everybody hates Monday so don’t take it to heart if your next cubicle colleague snaps at you when you ask him/her “what’s for lunch?” at 9.00 am! We have not even digested the American breakfast set and someone already asking, “what’s for lunch?” Burp!


There are dumb-heads who thinks they are Albert Einstein reincarnated! They can’t perform on the simplest task and expect to be spoon-fed all the time! They think they can get away with their angelic looks or fast-talking techniques or humorless jokes! Don't be fool by them, give it to them once and next time they will learn not to mess with us again!


A lot of people will think very highly of themselves just because the wall in their house is covered with academic certificates! But they don’t realize that their brain is hanging on the wall as well or forgot to bring back from the country they graduated from! These people cannot accept any form of criticism so don’t waste your effort! Not worth it! Save your breath to warm the tummy better!


Occasionally we can lend a helping hand to a colleague who is in trouble but we absolutely must refrain ourselves from taking over their job! Do what you are paid for because end of the day, you don’t want to start work at 5.00 pm and leave the office at 10.00 pm feeling like shit.


Gossips are unavoidable as long as they are human in the office. We cannot control what people said but need to learn to automatically shut off our ears, plug on the iTunes and pretend to be ‘deaf’ when the time comes.


There are ‘ghost’ in the office who likes to manipulate us to say or do something that will get us in deep trouble. This ‘ghost’ will stand by the side, cross their arms when the shit hits the fan! The best way to avoid being a victim to these ‘ghost’ is to pretend to be dumb!


There is a certain kind of people with one purpose in life. To make other people miserable because 24-hours is just too much for them. They will get on your nerves most of the time even if you are quietly sitting at your little corner minding your own business! To deal with these people you need to remember this word – NASTY! They will back off once you feed them with cili padi and don’t forget to add some Mexican chilies and peppers as well.


Beware of people who looks innocent and always put on a smile. They are like 'young woman with hidden knife' (siew lui chong tou) ... will stab you at the back when you least expected it! Those who looks like a 'bomb about the explode' is your most trusted friend around all the 'piggy in disguise to eat the tiger' (pan g sek lou fu)


Show some respect to the lower ranking staff. Adopt the Golden rule - "treat others as you would like to be treated". Treat them to a simple lunch once a while or offer them some cookies to show your appreciation. The next time you want them to do something, you can rest assured that it will be done immediately! This is a practical world, mate!


Everybody has their own choice of life so don’t force your colleague to do what you think it’s the best for them because since when you have become the parents?


Some colleagues are not meant to be your friend even if you spend 8-hours with them in the office. But some can be your friend for life … provided we keep in touch and appreciate the friendship.


Will I leave my current job? Of course! When the opportunity comes and the money is good. I don’t think I would want to remain in this company for another 9 years! Oh btw, next year I’ll be getting RM1,000 as the long service reward.