Recently, the emotions set in and it has become a little unstable for me.. I have been feeling sore about whatever that has happened over the past few months...

I need answers to my own questions and I simply cannot find them...

Maybe we should pause the time and everyone take a break from this guessing game... Maybe it's better to quit and withdraw now becos I'm sinking deeper and deeper and I'm seriously suffocated.. :(

Today I had a good jog along Singapore River. From school all the way to Fullerton Hotel and back.. Happy! :)

Friday I was not well. Physically and mentally.

Saturday I went to Kallang feeling a lil shitty.. Weather was reasonable but it was sure deadly cos after that, I saw shade mark on my face.. :(

Sunday I had to give visiting Little Xin Hui a miss because I didn't want to spread the germs to the new-born... :(

Monday, which is today, I felt lethargic at work because I just cannot clear some thoughts in my mind.... But after the run, I feel better although I am feeling feverish again now... Just popped 2 panadols and my flu tablet... Once the med takes effect, I will hit the sack.. :)

Back to the River Jog, I passed by Robertson Quay and Clarke Quay... and Boat Quay too!! To realise how silly I was the other time to go the longer way from UOB Centre to Clarke Quay.. I took the roads instead of going along the river... The way along the river seems much shorter..... :(

There are a couple of food which I wanna eat but I can't. Becos I don't want to fall sick (although I am feeling kinda feverish again now)... Never mind... I shall be better tomorrow.... :)

Today the emotion sets in again..

I stared at the ceiling this morning thinking about what happened over the past few days and I just can't help feeling a little upset over it.

This feeling is disgusting because I felt exactly the same in 2006 and it seems like a deja vu. Except that I am seeing it happening almost everyday now.

The dates are drawing near and the amount of effort out in just cannot be justified.

I am affected.


Physically.

Emotionally.

Mentally.

I just feel like shutting myself up in my own world and ignore ehatever that happened to me earlier on.

Maybe too sensitive.

Maybe there is nothing.

Maybe there is something.

I just feel super pissed and angry about myself for letting this happen to me again.

I don't wish to talk about it and please don't bother asking me.

Don't tell me what to do.

Don't tell to cheer me up.

No use. No point.

Just let me continue to rot my life away.

FML...

Planning is a tedious process in life.

There are soooo many things which require careful and detailed planning in one's life. From birth, our parents start planning for me.. Buy insurance la... Education la... Everything planned.

When we grow up, we plan our revision schedule in order to prepare for exams.

Plan birthday parties, class parties etc.

Plan the secondary school to go to. Plan the jc/poly to go to.

Plan the uni course to go to.

Plan the career path.

Plan for holidays with friends.

Plan your wedding.

Plan for your children.

Plan for retirement.


Everything must fall in place in order for the plan to work. But seriously speaking, are we really planning for the sake of planning or have we discover the purpose in life?

I cannot answer. I don't know the answer.

Sometimes I feel that I am just planning blindly.

Sometimes with a plan.

Sometimes without.

But at the end of the day, work is still done. The only difference will probably be whether we have wasted time doing unnecessary things which may have unknowningly lengthen the duration of the process.

I am a little tired of planning my life and what I have to do. Maybe I should take a short break and not waste time on planning! Yeah!

Ok...

Ahem! HELLO (once again) EARTHLINGS!!!

I am back again!! Sorry I havent been diligently updating my blog but I am sure I will continue to try my very very best to keep my blog ALIVE!!! Since I have kept it going for the past 5 years!

Ok.. Let me travel back time allllllll the way to XMAS 2009!!!

This Xmas was a little different than the usual ones. Other than humans, doggies were invited to the party as well. We had 3 Jap spitz running around the house and I finally had the chance to meet all 3 - Miru, Muji and Shiro. M&M Brudders belong to Leong and SY when Shiro is Meiwei's "nephew"..

Photos are in my Facebook so go and see from there k.

Ok.. Back to 2010!!!

This year I am teaching P3 again. Cos I requested for it. This year's class is a good class. The lowest banding is Band 2 for Mathematics. And the target set for them is 91% Band 1. In another word, 39 out of 43 must get Band 1 for Math... Tell me how to achieve this?? -__-

One thing I have observed thus far is......

(Sadly) They are not as loving as my class last year. Last year's 3E was more loving... I miss them. But this class still young la..... Give them 2 more months and I hope they will learn to be more loving... PRAY HARD!!!!

So far... This term has been totally INSANE and MADNESS for me...

2 School camps
1 Musical
1 5-Day course (8am - 930pm every freaking day)

And a couple of weddings which burnt a big hole in my pocket... Haha...

Thank goodness the year of tiger will mean less wedding... Haha.. *Evil*

The month of January passed in a flash. So fast that I didnt even know what I have done and suddenly it's CNY liao... I havent gotten my notice board up and I am really disappointed with myself for my inefficiency.. Sigh... Okok I will get it done!!!

I am still struggling to learn how to better manage my time well. Everyday in office until abt 8pm is NO JOKE!!

Ok.. Feb seems to be a more interesting month as compared.

1st-5th Feb - I attended the MOE Outdoor Adventure Facilities Course hoping to attain the licence to conduct rope courses at MOE Campsites. And yes. Thank you very much, I did it! Ok... I shall not be humble.. I ACE it!! Keke...

Hopefully I am able to practise it in April during the P5 Camp... :)

Mad rush to Raffles Hotel Jubilee Hall for the Musical after the course. Or maybe I should say in the midst of the course I left earlier in order to make it to the Musical in time... But it was a wonderful Musical put up by the team of teachers and students...

Together. :)

As I am blogging away, my nostrils are stuffed with tissue becos the flu bug attacked again!!!! Arghhhhhhhh...

CNY is just another day of the calendar. At our age, we dont get ang baos anymore... Cos we will never break even. I gave my parents money for new year and what I am gotten back is not enough to cover liao... But ok la... I dun really need the ang baos anymore.... Sooner or later, I may not even qualify to receive ang baos liao sia....

My parents and brothers just pressed the "PANIC BUTTON"...

What is "PANIC BUTTON"?

It is an imaginary button planted in the air that the adults (in this case anyone older than us) will press when you hit the marriagable age!! Yes... The whole reunion dinner was about WHEN WHEN WHEN I am ever going to find myself a MAN....

I just don't understand why this can be a topic... Maybe I should tell them that I am not getting married! Maybe I am lesbian? Maybe I have too many I can't decide... Whatever it is, it is NOT time yet... The button is not working on me (yet). :P

But seriously, it is a waste of time to go and find the so-called Prince Charming becos I have been celebrating Singlehood for the past 9 years! (Yes! Please applause for my endurance... Haha...)
. When it comes, it comes. And when it comes, whole world will know becos all those people will go "Wahhhhhhh... FINALLY!!!! SOoooooOOooOoo HAPPY for YOUUUUUUU!!!!!"

Ok I am spouting nonsense cos I am getting a little drowsy from the medication. I shall set BLOG MENU as my homepage so that I will have to blog something here to keep the blog alive!!

Good night Earthlings! :D

Hello Earthlings,

It seems like I have disappeared from Planet Earth for a while.. I m back blogging. School term has been a mad rush for me and Im glad it's coming to an end soon. My kids didn't do exceptionally well but majority managed to pass Math so I'm happy.

My trip to Brisbane has been cancelled due to unforseen circumstances and for that it was a $200 forfeit.. Quite sad about it but life has to go on.

Next June ba, perhaps.

Ok.. Back to listening to the conference.. YawnZzzzzzzzz

I am nursing my flu on my 1st official Teachers' Day!

My kids were really sweet and I must say they are a very lovely bunch even though I "screamed" at them sometimes... They showered me with gifts but I think the best thing I received from them thus far is their care and concern for me... Making sure that they "protect" me from all "evil" forces...

They have grown these few months. To be more caring to one another and accepting the differences among them. I have also grown with them.. Being more patient with some of their nonsense...

Of cos this would not be possible without the support and help of the parents... My parents are generally very cooperative and understanding!

And of cos my dearest colleagues.. So far, my stay in the school has been good without major hiccups.. But I really need to work harder next term to help the kids achieve better results for their SA2.. They didnt do well and I feel that I am responsible for it.. I dont want to short change them...

Jiayou ok, 3E!!!

Blessed Teachers' Day to all my teachers, friends and colleagues in the service!

I went to watch Final Destination on Friday night and I must say this movie is sooooooo brilliant.

Brilliantly horrible.

The plot sucks.

And the way ppl were killed were just plain silly. This is the 2nd 3D movie I watched this month and I am sure UP is a better one as compared to FD.

And I finally past by Ann Siang Hill and to my amusement there seems to have a number of "all-boys-only-girls-not-welcomed" pubs there...

I was having supper at Maxwell when I saw an angmoh with 2 chinese guys and they looked like they were more than friends...

I bid goodbye to my no-meat diet after 1 full year of fish and vege.. I am back to eating meat but I realised I still feel disgusted... So what I did was to take small serving.. Very very small portion so that i will not puke the meat out...

Last night's went to Timbre and I like the place.. Only thing which I detest at Timbre is that it gets very stuffy after a while with no wind... Gosh.. I ended up feeling sooo sticky... So I concluded that Wala is still a better place... Esp Friday night cos my fav band, EIC, plays on Friday nights at Wala.. :D

Awwwww... When are we heading down to Wala again?????

I went to watch "UP" with a colleague last Wednesday...

Oh my! The beginning of the movie was sooo touching... No dialogue. Just the animation. I teared.

Thats how a couple should be till old age.. Very heartwarming.. I think we have a lot to learn from the couple in the movie.. :)

The little scout in the movie? GOSH!! He looks like one of my boys.. And the rest of the class who have watched the movie agreed with me... Even the boy himself. And he is also a scout coincidentally.

And my boy memorised this entire dialogue which Russell (the scout in the movie) said to the old man at his door when Russell first approached him.. And its sooooo funny!!! He sure sounded like Russell....

I cant believe its Monday again.. Yawn.. Another 2 weeks before school holiday...

I seriously think that there is a problem with me and the fengshui of my school.

Even since I am being posted there, I have been sick for a couple of times.

Firstly, it was the losing of my voice the week before school reopened. I went back on the last week of the holiday and started to feel that the throat was going to declare a war with me. True enough. It really did for 2 weeks.

Then, it was H1N1. I had my first high fever after many years (I cannot remember when was the last time I was sooo ill.)I was 90% suspected of H1N1 and according to the doctor, I most probably was a H1N1 patient based on the symptons. High fever, cough, flu, body aches and pain at my joints.

Now, it is the cough which is killing me. After I sort of recovered from H1N1, I have lost my appetite. The amount of food I am having in 1 day now is equivalent of what I used to have PER MEAL. I am not a big eater to begin with. So u can see how bad it is NOW.

I need to recover soon before it gets worst.....

The pint of Rum and Raisins Ice cream I have in the freezer is the worst Rum & Raisins ice cream I have ever tasted. :(

Tomorrow out dept will have meeting over many pints & tubs of ice cream and Mango Strudel.. :)

I just bought a pint of ice cream for the freezer...

Rum and Raisins..

Yummy Yummy!

Yum Yum Rum Rum..

Only Dum Dum doesnt eat Rum Rum! (Haha... Night at the Museum.. :P)

But....

It's not from my favourite Andersen's becos Shop and Save doesnt have Andersen's.. Never mind.. Try! Not nice Daddy can eat for me...

Friday PE meeting I am going to buy the ice cream on Thursday at Cold Storage @ Great World City.. :D

I need to finish the LP for PE Observation as well as Assessment Rubric for PE (need to type out).

Refine EPMS!

Okay! Can finish... -__-

The payslip is in..

Tonight the pay will COME.. :D

I will go to the bank tomorrow after work...

I hope..

6th day home quarantine..

Tomorrow morning will step out of house.. *Excited*

Yes.

I have been staying at home for the past 5 days without stepping out of home.

Reason?

The hot topic in town - H1N1.

The worst fear strikes and I seriously have no idea where and from who I gotten it from.... Not home cos both parents STRONG. School? But who?? Or maybe public transport?

Argh....


I wasted 5 days doing nothing except sleeping and nuaing.. I feel so unaccomplished.. Tomorrow I shall work very hard... To make up for the 5 lost days....

Fever was 39.2 on Thursday but thank God it subsided.

Temperature had been fluctuating but today was normal the entire day.. Phew!

I will be back in school in Wednesday.. :)

Marks the 1st anniversary of me going on a no-meat diet... :)

Well done darLING...

So proud of you(me)...

Need MONEY.

I need some kind soul to pay for my air ticket... :(

Sponsorship of $1k will be good enough.

Everything planned and I am seriously feeling it... It's like a withdrawal syndrome.

I feel miserable to a certain extent and I just wait to fly there NOW.....


Need SIGNS.

I need more signs from God. I am confused.

I need time to think what I really want.

I need to know how to react to this.


I MUST BE STRONG!! I CAN MAKE IT....

Oh ya.. Happy National Da, Singapore! ;P

Convocation was a blast for me.

With all the well wishes for loved ones...

Purple tulips.

Sunflowers.

Forever Friends Graduation Bear.

I am loving everything but most importantly, the company of the girlies and Ysing, Andy n son (+ gf).

Thanks for making my day special and memorable.