Columbus Day No Longer

In an effort to combine an errand and still manage to get out of town at a decent hour, I opted to not pick up my new passport and visa on the Friday that they called to tell me it was in, and rather go on Monday on my way out of town, as the building the travel broker's office occupies is on the way downtown.

It's a big-ish building. It's mirrored and as skyscraperlike as an office building outside of a major metropolitan downtown gets. There is a separate parking structure with multiple levels (I won't go so far as saying a parking garage, because I don't want anyone to think that I am overreacting) but it was slightly inconvenient to park and unload my three tag-a-longs into the building and down to the basement level of the broker's business. The parking lot was packed so I had to park almost as far away as possible and walk down the staircase to get into the main doors (good thing I was conveniently dressed in my chocolate brown velour pants. I was dressed for a workout. Or for sitting for ten straight hours. Odd how one outfit could cover both things).

As soon as we were halfway down the stairs, I could see that their office lights were out. Fearing they were taking their lunch break, even though it was almost 2:00 pm, I continued on to read the sign on the door. "We are closed in honor of Columbus Day. Sorry for any inconvenience."

Who closes for Columbus Day (besides the federal government who looks for any legitimate reason to close shop for the day)? It wasn't even on my radar that they could possibly be closed for Columbus Day. I didn't even know it was Columbus day. And, to be truthful, I'm not sure Columbus deserves a day. Remember, he thought he was in India. Do lucky, slightly ignorant men need a holiday? A holiday where mail ceases to be delivered? A holiday where a travel agency gets to put up a sign on their door with an insincere apology for my inconvenience?

To further aggravate the day, I drove off with the key to our mailbox. I realized it when I was driving through Idaho, so I stopped in a small town at a convenience store, put it in an envelope and mailed it to my sister, who could then give it to Jay.

The envelope arrived damaged and the key was missing. So Jay went without mail for the duration of my trip. As soon as I arrived back home, I called the post office inquiring about getting a new lock and key. They told me it would take a few days and we unfortunately ended the call without me really knowing what I was supposed to do to get the new key. I left it for a couple of days, but called after four days had passed and I hadn't heard anything.

Turns out, the post office isn't responsible for this group of mailboxes. It's under the care and direction of the home owner's agency.

Not being the homeowner, I was forced to call the extremely incompetent rental agency that "handles" (used very loosely here as they really largely ignore our existence and certainly any need that we have) to request a new lock and key. That was Friday. I patiently expected no response until today because...well...apparently there are no needs renters may have on the weekend so no one returns calls.

But, today, I needed action. I called and left another message. After an hour, I called and left another message. I left another message for another person. I went online and wrote a very wordy email to some unlucky soul. THAT got me a response. An amusing response.

He replied that the mailboxes are owned by the individual homeowners so I needed to contact the homeowner or...get ready....my landlord.

?????(Smacking forehead repeatedly).

Too frustrated to work with this company any longer, I started calling locksmiths to just take care of it on my own. I was getting quotes of $80.00 to get a new lock. Ouch. Ouch. Ouch.

Then...to my great delight, somebody other than the clueless email responder called me back and told me that he could arrange to get the lock switched for about $25.00. I called and left another message (because absolutely NO ONE picks up their phone anymore) saying "Do it!"

And....he did it.

I went to their office to pick up my new keys and they smiled at me, handed me the keys and said, "Welcome to the ........ We're excited to have you as part of our community." Poor, clueless, incompetent company. I'm guessing they hadn't checked their voicemail.

But...who cares? I have mail! Lots and lots and lots of beautiful mail. A couple of lovely CD's from Chloe. A few thank you notes from Jill and Jenny. A package of all the stuff I forgot at Jen's (I have never, ever managed to leave her house with everything I came with). And lots of offers, mailers, etc.

It might not make as great of a movie as Groundhog's Day, but 16 straight days of Columbus Day is almost as horrific.