morning series

Bad news is, I have wasted a good 45 minutes today waiting for someone to open the instrumental lab for today’s business. Good news is my biological clock has been corrected and now I don’t have to struggle to sleep at night or drag myself to wake up.

There was no heavy traffic in front of campus, everything was smooth sailing compared to yesterday, except for the striking sun which is rising exactly right in front of where I was heading to. I had to use one hand to cover my eyes though I was already on my sunglasses, and the other hand gripping carefully on to the wheel. Driving with too much light reflecting to my eyes is another struggle but there’s nothing I could do about it. I have to wait till my finance is good, only then, I could go to the eye specialist.

I got a nice road-side parking which is only 15 feets away from the staircase to my lab. Then, without wasting any precious time of my life, I got my samples ready in half an hour and immediately walked through two buildings on both sides towards the Chemistry building. With bags clutching tightly on both of my tiny shoulders and one hand holding my sample, I was all motivated for today’s progress!

Carrying and walking is no problem if I get to the lab soon after but I had to wait for another 45 minutes for the lab to be opened. Time was wasted but I couldn’t complain more because that’s one thing I could not change here. So I took a good use of that 45 minutes by reading while listening to my MP3. The passer-by looked at me as though I was an outsider waiting to commit a crime. Worse still, I even saw one guy spitting from the third floor and didn’t even look down if his spits hit someone. Ewwww! That was disgusting!

Guys, next time when you feel a drop of liquid from above, don’t just merely assume that it’s going to rain. Look up immediately and teach that spitting fella some manners!

Enough said. I took some pictures while I was at the corridor. Just ease your eyes with some unimpressive pictures outside the Instrumental lab.

This was where I was coming from, a very dark hallway

The lab

The front view of the corridor

The blue blue sky outside the lab. I bet today is gonna be another HOT day!

Not even a single cloud to filter the heat

The book I was reading

Oh well, since i cant go back Sabah, mind as well just go for the exam so i dont have to explain to his father the reason why i miss the exam. Lying to him seems to be very hard.

I hope they understand that i dont want to do this anymore cos there's no point anyway, I still can't get it! Maybe i should go for a BM class where they teach you how to speak BM in semenanjung slang so you wont get intimidated by those brainiac who can speak BM very well! So what if I can't speak like how they speak? Sipak karabau terajang trus! Kana bubut pun inda laju juga ba! Tau la sia tu, orang ulu duluan balik, yang berduit main duduk pun kena kasi suap juga beh! peiii...

And the dirty floor where I have seated

I wanted to take a picture of that spitting fella but it happened to fast and my hands were too slow..

Signing out..

outdated tagging business..

This was done two weeks ago but I decided to post it here, in case you need something to read about. But im not here to tag people, its just something i'd like to share. Anyway you can find the same post in my facebook.

So here goes peeps…and be patient (I can be very bubbly so its a long way down)

Tagging title: 25 random things (about myself)

Tagged by: Emm and Lydia

1. Im now on my writing stage of my master project and I cant wait to get it done. If im gonna further my studies to phd, I want to do it overseas because the local education system is a bit frustrating sometimes.

2. I am not a two-timing person. I can only love one person at a time. Usually when I fall really in love with someone I will go all the way for that person. Its not easy to accept any person, so if I have chosen one, he’ll definitely be the guy (whom I carefully trusted with all my life, because you cant really trust a guy no matter how sweet they are on the surface).

3. Im scared of marriage so I don’t know whether I should be married but if im going to get married it has to be someone I want to be with and another thing is before I get married, I have to have at least 5 digit in my account (for safety reason), and I want to have a simple garden wedding if possible.

4. Before I die, I want to take piano classes and also drum classes because I like music very much. And maybe go for a vocal class if my time is not up yet. Haha!

5. I like playing guitar and I usually write my own songs during my free time (or when im inspired by some feelings) but I know my songs are very immature (Well its just for fun), and if I should, I want to upgrade my guitar skills.

6. I like books, I like reading and some day If I get to write a book, I would like to write a story about my life.

7. I bought my own car, with my own money and I do take care of my car like a baby. Sometimes I feed my car first before myself. Eg, I make sure I pay my monthly installments before thinking of spending my money for other things.

8. I do love my family, so much but there are times I feel like I’m the blacksheep in the family (hopefully in a good way).

9. I love my beautiful nieces and my handsome nephews. They are like my bestfriends in my family, because they listen to me, haha!

10. This part is supposed to be a secret but im going to tell you about it anyway. Well, I don’t get my sleep that fast, I guess my brain is very active at night and refuse to quit working. so usually I occupy my head with bedtime stories that I made up myself. For example, if im having a good mood, then mostly my bedtime stories are happy and romantic. Eg, a vampire falls in love with a human. (haha!) BUT, if im having my mood swings, then usually I dream about killing a monster or I murder my own character in my story. Creepy huh?

11. I like buying gadgets like electronic stuff etc, I like furnitures and I like buying bed sheets, because I like having peaceful sleeps at night (Remember, I usually struggle every night to get my sleep). No surprise most people who tried sleeping on my bed complimented the comfort of my bed, but in the end, they blamed me for falling asleep on my bed and losing track of their time! (so there’s pros and cons to the comfort of my bed)

12. I have everything a girl needs in my room. I have an IKEA chest drawer which i bought for a half price (got it through internet), and also the simplest version of a wardrobe from IKEA which was white when I first bought it and now the color turned a bit creamy, cos its old.

13. I am very careful with who I mix with, I don’t get influenced by my friends that easily because im a hard-headed person and I have my own style of dealing things.

14. Though I don’t get influenced that fast but I am a ‘yes’ person, its very hard to say no sometimes even when I want to.

15. I hate going out a lot cos im a home person, most of the time. So if you managed to drag me out from my sanctuary, then you must be lucky. Except when Im bored, I like to go out when Im tired of locking myself in the room.

16. Im a suffer in silence type. I don’t like telling people about my problems sometimes. Even when I do, I usually filter everything. I like my privacy and being alone is always my remedy when im sad.

17. I miss my father.

18. I always complained about wanting to be independent though I know my family is always happy to lend their helping hand. However, I whined sometimes because I don’t get much attention from my family like my younger sibs do. My eldest brother believed that ‘ I know what Im doing and whatever problems I have, I know how to get out from it’, so that’s why I didn’t get that much of attention from them, which has its own pros and cons.

19. Friends are also my family, whom I chose.

20. I believed in Jesus Christ and I am a God-fearing person though I sinned a lot.

21. I get physically tired easily and I hate getting tired because I think there’s so much to do when you’re full of energy.

22. I am a girl who has a lot of dreams but pessimism holds me back. Sometimes I wish im a guy so I don’t have to worry about safety that much. Urgh, people always say im an easy target. Its not fun being seen that way.

22. I want to go backpacking with my guy friends, because with guy friends (the one that can be trusted), I feel safer travelling.

23. I have more guy friends than girl friends and in my life I only have two friends whom I take as my BFF (three actually, but we lost her last year after a terrible accident). The two that I always keep in my heart is neena and belle, and we lived far apart. (Vero, you're still in my heart too..)

24. I can’t believe im getting older. Urgh, can I be a “Benjamin Button” who gets younger each day?

25. I believed that, “before you love others, you should love yourself, if you don’t then you’re only ruining yourself and others at the same time”.

The end.

Signing out...

new skin, new direction

I decided to be lazy today. I guess, the current blog skin will do. It’s the only skin that suits my eyes so far, hence I have no excuse to be choosy.

My expertise in computer language is very minimal, so Im gonna stick to this skin for a little while until I decide to be creative with the html again.

I have also decided to open up a bit, and spread a little word about my blog. My blog used to be a private thing for me and only close friends would know about the existence of my blog. That’s because I write mostly about my sentiments, and when I do, it’s technically written straight from the heart without thinking or even considering any typo. After all, the blog title says enough about my page.

I have to agree, feelings is a very private thing, there are some information you can share just so your friends would know more about you, but there are feelings that meant to be kept inside forever.

Since I have more visitors/readers now, I think I should be a bit reserved and careful with my writings especially on sensitive topics. I am not hiding my true color peeps, I just think transparency should be in a correct level. I don’t think everybody wants to know everything about a person cos too much information can be quiet hazardous to human kind (hehe..).

Nevertheless, I don’t usually write for fun and make people figured you are totally an empty can, so most of my entries are about my experience and how I feel about things. I hope the level of my transparency is so far in a correct place.

Signing out….

new skin

-This blog is under series of modification-

Im bored with the old skin. If I still can’t make up my mind, this will be the new skin. My preferences are too narrow (Im too traditional), I can’t seem to find one that suits me best.

If you happened to find one which fits all the criteria of skin which im looking for, pls let me know guys..

1. Simple non-striking background.

2. No colourful images or complicated illustration.

3. A two-column skin.

4. Wide skin (probably 1024x of size). I like something wide and concise in one scroll (too much of scrolling make me dizzy).

Please bear with me guys..

Sigining out… still deciding..

SNAKE dream... (gulp!)

I had a nightmare last night and woke up feeling horror. I checked the time and it was 7am sharp. The dream seems so vivid in my memory and my room was still dark. I got scared and immediately dialed T’s number, I know he’ll be awake by then for work. He was actually surprised to see my call as I always text him before sleeping and he’ll know what time I slipped into my bed. He comforted me and assured me to go back to sleep as I just had 3 hours of sleep.

I went back to sleep and I thought I will forget about my nightmare the moment I shut my eyes again. I got up 3 hours later and that dream was still dancing in my memory. Something is wrong, I usually forget my dreams after hours of having it and the subsequent sleep didn’t help either.

So here I am trying to interpret my dreams.

It happened in Taman Desa. I just reached home and was entering the house when I saw a long green large cylindrical hose resting against the wall on the floor. It took me few minutes to recognize what it was. GASP! A snake! It was as big as my thigh, probably bigger and it’s green. I didn’t know what kind of snake it was until it hits me. Yes it was an anaconda. But it was lying quietly on the floor, not moving. I walked into the house to examine the length of it, right in the corner at another staircase inside the house was its tail, only skin left, the meat was all gone. Owh, my maid killed it already. But where is the head? So I went and searched for the head, it was at the staircase outside facing the entrance door and I actually passed it when I entered the house without realizing the head is there! How did I not know that? There’s nothing much to do as the snake is already dead. So I went to the backyard of the house to regain my consciousness, and when I was outside, I turned around to see same snake which I thought was already dead attacking my younger sister. So I stepped into the house to rescue my sister whose head was already inside the snake’s mouth, I can’t remember pulling my sister away but what I remembered after that was, I was stepping onto its head again and again, and surprisingly it didn’t fight back. The snake actually obeyed me and I looked up to find my younger sister and the maid feeling nothing as though the snake wasn't there in the first place, in fact they were busy catching something on TV! I was confused, the snake obeyed me and my sister didn't actually know I saved her life. Weirdness. Before I could ask her, I got up from my nightmare.

I was so anxious about the dream, so I googled it. I found few interesting insights and theories about snake dream but some are too freaky to understand. Let’s journey with me on this quest of my SNAKE dream interpretation .

Some interpretations I got from the internet didn’t really fit into the current situation I am having in my life right now, so I’m just gonna include those which are relevant and interesting… (hehe)..

One source says…

In writing about Snake Symbolism, Gillian Holloway, Ph.D. wrote, "People who are dying or who have lost a loved one often dream of snakes, at or near the time of death. For whatever reason, these dreams seem involved with the psychic awareness of the transition from this life to the next...."

Errrrr, this is creepy enough. I meant I did lose someone I love, but for me to know that my time is up…??? That’s a bit outrageous, ok let’s move on before my hair goes up…

Another source says..

If in a snake dream you overcome and kill a threatening snake in your dream, it shows that you will overcome your adversary and win out.

I like this one. Wait. In my dream, I saw a snake which turned out to be dead after some investigation. Then when I turned my back on it, it started attacking my sister, behind me, and I caught it red-handed. And the snake obeyed when I tried to kill it, and my sister didn’t know that her head was almost swallowed by a giant snake. So what I can say here is that, I saw danger coming, so I tried to analyse the level of risk it might bring to us, found out it was nothing to worry about, then turn around to focus on something else. But then, the moment i put the case to rest, it strike again (behind my back!) and attack my family, or the person I love. And when I take the matter into my hand, it goes the way I wanted it to be. Am I the key to resolution or triumphant? I can’t be sure…

Let’s look at other analogy..

One source is more perspective, it goes straight to the point to what I have been experiencing in my life lately.

STEP 1: QUESTIONS to help you make associations (pick the one that makes most sense to you)
- Did you particularly dislike some bad atmosphere the day before the dream?
- What do you fear will strike at any moment?
- What bad relationships have been troubling you yesterday?
- Has someone been behaving in a nasty or deceptive way?
- Do you feel that someone is trying to draw you into a dispute?
- What creative projects have you been wrestling with?
- Do you feel that the snake could be a phallic symbol linking to sexual activity at the time of the dream?

STEP 2:

KEY WORDS : write down some quotes that capture your key feelings on issues that have been dominating your mind

I came up with these…

THESIS

JOBLESS

STEP THREE: KEY PHRASES

There were dozens of phrases, and the ones that are irrelevant so far was these two,

"I just cannot deal with that” – (Keyword: Jobless)

"Its a task which I cannot seem to conquer - I am just lacking creativity and insight" (Keyword: Thesis)

STEP FOUR: ESSAY : What is the symbolic meaning of snakes in dreams?

1. In many cases the snake may refer to people you do not like or do not trust. (At this moment, not really)

2. Snakes may refer to difficult situations that you feel you are being sucked into. (Very likely!)

"I just don't want to be DRAWN INTO the dispute. But I cannot seem to stay neutral"[Dream symbol - snake]

3. The snake may represent some fear that may strike at any moment. (Recession is gonna hit Malaysia? Then I lose every chance to get a job? Ouch!)

"The company could go bankrupt at ANY MOMENT and I'll lose my job"[Dream symbol - snake]

4. Snakes link a great deal to difficult relationships. (I’m happy with T)

5. Snakes can link to intellectual and problems which you just cannot seem to solve. (BINGO!)

"I have been wrestling with this project for some time now. I have been working night and day on it"[Dream symbol - wrestling with an Anaconda]

"This project is really proving a difficult one. I am CONSTANTLY WORKING on it night and day"[Dream symbol - wrestle with Anaconda]

"I have been struggling to understand a problem I am researching at the laboratory. I have concentrated on this for ages now but the solution is eluding me "[Dream symbol - snakes]

Signing out... in confusion..