Here I sit on New Year's Eve updating my blog....We are celebrating quietly this year. Dh is going out in a little bit to get us Outback Carry Out. We'll have steak, watch football games, and just enjoy a quiet evening here at home. Actually, I am planning to catch up on some much needed "crop time".
Two of the boys are going out. DS 1 and his girlfriend are going to a concert nearby and will be back just after midnight. DS 2 is going to his girlfriend's house for a party and will join us at church tomorrow. DS 3 is playing a computer game online. DS 4 is just playing...
It's quiet...and I'm glad. I think I like going quietly into a new year.
I wish you all a wonderful New Year's Eve and Peaceful 2006!
Saturday, December 31, 2005
Friday, December 30, 2005
You Can Do This Too!
OK here is another nature photo that I took earlier this year. This lizard was shedding its skin on a bush outside my Dad's house. I couldn't resist the urge to photograph it.
I am reminded when I see it, though, that we can do that too. We can take off the old and put on the new. It's scriptural. 2 Corinthians 5:17 says, "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!"
This is especially appropriate as we head into the New Year. It's that time of year when we make empty promises in the form of resolutions. It's that time of year when we learn that most of us don't have what it takes to keep a resolution.
And yet, God (who always keeps His promises) made a promise to us long before the ball was falling in Times Square. It's time to shed the old and put on the new.
May 2006 bring each of us HOPE and NEWNESS of life!
Thursday, December 29, 2005
Isn't this cool?
The boys took this photo when we were in Ohio this fall. I just thought it was so neat.
Just Wait...
I was struck emotionally at the tragic loss of Tony Dungy's son, James. In one article recounting the funeral message Tony shared some of his daughter's comments about their loss: "My daughter Tiara said it best the other day. She said: `I just wish he could have made it until he was 20. Because when you're 17 or 18, sometimes the things you guys say to us don't always make sense. ... When I got to 20, they started making sense again."' This is such a wise statement.
I was reminded just how many times I tell my teenagers, "Believe it or not, your parents do NOT sit around at night and think 'how can we make their lives miserable.'" Parents, in general, try and do the best they can with the information they have. We truly DO make decisions and suggestions based on trying to guide our children on the best path. We also try and help them avoid the same mistakes that we made. It's easy to see on this side of it.
Coach Dungy noted: "As he got a little older, like all teenagers, he was searching for who that person was inside of him. Who he was going to be. ... And like most of us, I think he went through a time as a teenager that he wasn't sure his parents always had the best advice. He wasn't sure that we always had his best interest at heart," the coach said.
My dh often says that while he was in college his parents went to "smart school".
I remember being 17 and 18 and being in the conflict of having a foot in my childhood and trying to open the door to my adult life. That is where my two oldest are right now---at the threshold of their adult lives. I continue to pray that we will be able to help them enter it with grace and dignity. So far, it's going pretty well.
Rest assured boys, we DO have your best interest at heart.
I was reminded just how many times I tell my teenagers, "Believe it or not, your parents do NOT sit around at night and think 'how can we make their lives miserable.'" Parents, in general, try and do the best they can with the information they have. We truly DO make decisions and suggestions based on trying to guide our children on the best path. We also try and help them avoid the same mistakes that we made. It's easy to see on this side of it.
Coach Dungy noted: "As he got a little older, like all teenagers, he was searching for who that person was inside of him. Who he was going to be. ... And like most of us, I think he went through a time as a teenager that he wasn't sure his parents always had the best advice. He wasn't sure that we always had his best interest at heart," the coach said.
My dh often says that while he was in college his parents went to "smart school".
I remember being 17 and 18 and being in the conflict of having a foot in my childhood and trying to open the door to my adult life. That is where my two oldest are right now---at the threshold of their adult lives. I continue to pray that we will be able to help them enter it with grace and dignity. So far, it's going pretty well.
Rest assured boys, we DO have your best interest at heart.
Wednesday, December 28, 2005
Welcome Nephew!
My third nephew was born yesterday! He joins his two sisters C-almost 4, and K-2. They LOVED their new little brother. He is absolutely adorable...but then I think that about all of our nieces and nephews.
As I was holding him last night, my Dad, my Brother and I were reflecting just how much he looks like my Grandfather. He definitely has features of that side of the family. It was kind of amazing.
I thought though...we DO pass so much along in our families. We pass genes down from generation to generation. We also pass down our personalities, our stories, and pieces of our lives. It IS our job to leave a legacy in the lives of those who come behind us.
I pray that God would continue to help me stop and think about the young people in my life. May He help me pass along those things that I want to continue. And may He also help me stop the stuff that needs to stop and not be perpetuated.
May each little child remind us that we are sowing into their lives. And they will reap what we sow. Let's sow well!
Welcome, little Z! You are a blessing!!
As I was holding him last night, my Dad, my Brother and I were reflecting just how much he looks like my Grandfather. He definitely has features of that side of the family. It was kind of amazing.
I thought though...we DO pass so much along in our families. We pass genes down from generation to generation. We also pass down our personalities, our stories, and pieces of our lives. It IS our job to leave a legacy in the lives of those who come behind us.
I pray that God would continue to help me stop and think about the young people in my life. May He help me pass along those things that I want to continue. And may He also help me stop the stuff that needs to stop and not be perpetuated.
May each little child remind us that we are sowing into their lives. And they will reap what we sow. Let's sow well!
Welcome, little Z! You are a blessing!!
Monday, December 26, 2005
And Speaking of Time....
Ds 4 met a new friend last week. We'll call him "K". K is quite outspoken and articulate. He doesn't hesitate to tell you exactly what he wants and when he wants it...but in a very polite way. They are the same age. K just moved from Chicago and France with his family. The boys hit it off right away.
Today, K and DS 4 are on a marathon play day (after all they have been two whole days without seeing each other due to Christmas activities). They have been back and forth between our two houses all day long. They have played hard and had fun. About 4:15 they came back home and DS 4 got in trouble for something and had to do some work and a timeout before proceeding his play. K cried. In fact, I think he was more heartbroken that ds 4! K did not want DS 4 to have to stay inside. He wanted him to be able to continue whatever it was they were doing. DH talked to K and explained that DS 4 had to do this and that he would be able to come back out at 5:00.
About 4:25 I was surprised to see K just walk in the front door just like he lived here! He said, "Is it 5:00 yet?" Then he told me he would "just wait outside". Knowing how six year olds work, I know that 30 minutes can seem like a lifetime. I wondered for a minute how he would pass the time. I showed him on his new watch how long it was going to be and sent him back outside.
At 4:45 he knocked on my door because there was a "five" in the time. I explained once more that it had to be "5-0-0". And he returned to our sidewalk to wait. At 5:00 sharp...he knocked on the door and said, "I kept the numbers on the sidewalk come see!" He did not let up until dh went out there to see what he had done.
In HUGE chalk numbers starting at the bottom of our sidewalk and leading right up to our front door, we saw:
4:51
4:52
4:53
4:54
4:55
4:56
4:57
4:58
4:59
You have to admire that determination and stamina, don't you? K and DS are outside playing once again and I think all is right in the world...at least in their world.
Today, K and DS 4 are on a marathon play day (after all they have been two whole days without seeing each other due to Christmas activities). They have been back and forth between our two houses all day long. They have played hard and had fun. About 4:15 they came back home and DS 4 got in trouble for something and had to do some work and a timeout before proceeding his play. K cried. In fact, I think he was more heartbroken that ds 4! K did not want DS 4 to have to stay inside. He wanted him to be able to continue whatever it was they were doing. DH talked to K and explained that DS 4 had to do this and that he would be able to come back out at 5:00.
About 4:25 I was surprised to see K just walk in the front door just like he lived here! He said, "Is it 5:00 yet?" Then he told me he would "just wait outside". Knowing how six year olds work, I know that 30 minutes can seem like a lifetime. I wondered for a minute how he would pass the time. I showed him on his new watch how long it was going to be and sent him back outside.
At 4:45 he knocked on my door because there was a "five" in the time. I explained once more that it had to be "5-0-0". And he returned to our sidewalk to wait. At 5:00 sharp...he knocked on the door and said, "I kept the numbers on the sidewalk come see!" He did not let up until dh went out there to see what he had done.
In HUGE chalk numbers starting at the bottom of our sidewalk and leading right up to our front door, we saw:
4:51
4:52
4:53
4:54
4:55
4:56
4:57
4:58
4:59
You have to admire that determination and stamina, don't you? K and DS are outside playing once again and I think all is right in the world...at least in their world.
Saturday, December 24, 2005
Does Anybody Really Know What Time It Is?
As we are in the final frenzied hours before Christmas Morning, I had to make a run to Walmart. Upon my arrival home, the boys and my dh were having a conversation. They wanted to "do Christmas" this afternoon. Well almost everyone. DS 3 was adament that you cannot "do Christmas" unless it is the 25th.
His argument, "Do you dress up for Halloween on the 30th?" To which DS 2 replied, "You might." He was obviously passionate about this plan. DSs 1 and 2 did NOT agree and the discussion escalated a bit.
Of course, I know that you can "do Christmas" anytime you want and it would be the joy, the giving, the being together that makes it Christmas...not the fact that it is the 25th of December. But, you know what? I agreed with son 3, I didn't want to do it today either. I love waking up on Christmas morning with the anticipation. I think somehow on the 25th, I am still a kid. I love it. I love all of it.
The result of our discussion? DS 3 won. We will open gifts early tomorrow morning before we go to Church. We will give dh the remainder of this presents tomorrow morning...we went ahead and did some this afternoon.
Whenever you celebrate...I hope that this Christmas is as magical for you as it might be for DS 3 and for me.
His argument, "Do you dress up for Halloween on the 30th?" To which DS 2 replied, "You might." He was obviously passionate about this plan. DSs 1 and 2 did NOT agree and the discussion escalated a bit.
Of course, I know that you can "do Christmas" anytime you want and it would be the joy, the giving, the being together that makes it Christmas...not the fact that it is the 25th of December. But, you know what? I agreed with son 3, I didn't want to do it today either. I love waking up on Christmas morning with the anticipation. I think somehow on the 25th, I am still a kid. I love it. I love all of it.
The result of our discussion? DS 3 won. We will open gifts early tomorrow morning before we go to Church. We will give dh the remainder of this presents tomorrow morning...we went ahead and did some this afternoon.
Whenever you celebrate...I hope that this Christmas is as magical for you as it might be for DS 3 and for me.
Friday, December 23, 2005
Holiday Peace?
Today I went to the mall again. I went to pick up the last couple of things that I needed to finish gifts so that I could come home, sit in the pile, and wrap!
It was relatively calm there. There were the usual last minute shoppers trying to find the perfect gift. I noticed Dads with their sons out shopping for Mom's and other girls in their lives. Perhaps the funniest was the man in Bath and Body Works who noted that you could buy a gift and you didn't even have to wrap it because they have such pretty gift sets! The teenage boys behind him were wide-eyed as they learned how to "shop like a man" (sorry for any of you who are great shoppers).
Most disconcerting though were the number of people I watched bickering. Blood pressure obviously up...I saw grown Daughters yelling at Mothers. Grown sisters at odds over what gift to buy for Mom. Sons and Mothers who differed as to who had spent more money on a gift so far. I heard one Mother explode at her teenager and say, "If you don't get me out of here righ this instance, I am going to lose it!" I thought: "Toooooo Late!!!"
It was sad. These same people are going to sit together most likely on Sunday and share gifts. They are going to try and be cheerful about a holiday that obviously was causing them much stress.
Yet, didn't the angels proclaim "Peace on Earth, Goodwill to Men" at the birth of Christ. Peace. Goodwill to all. I pray that it happens in each of our lives in a powerful way that sends the message that we serve the "Prince of PEACE"! Maybe, just maybe, it will make the difference in the eyes of someone who is watching.
Peace.
It was relatively calm there. There were the usual last minute shoppers trying to find the perfect gift. I noticed Dads with their sons out shopping for Mom's and other girls in their lives. Perhaps the funniest was the man in Bath and Body Works who noted that you could buy a gift and you didn't even have to wrap it because they have such pretty gift sets! The teenage boys behind him were wide-eyed as they learned how to "shop like a man" (sorry for any of you who are great shoppers).
Most disconcerting though were the number of people I watched bickering. Blood pressure obviously up...I saw grown Daughters yelling at Mothers. Grown sisters at odds over what gift to buy for Mom. Sons and Mothers who differed as to who had spent more money on a gift so far. I heard one Mother explode at her teenager and say, "If you don't get me out of here righ this instance, I am going to lose it!" I thought: "Toooooo Late!!!"
It was sad. These same people are going to sit together most likely on Sunday and share gifts. They are going to try and be cheerful about a holiday that obviously was causing them much stress.
Yet, didn't the angels proclaim "Peace on Earth, Goodwill to Men" at the birth of Christ. Peace. Goodwill to all. I pray that it happens in each of our lives in a powerful way that sends the message that we serve the "Prince of PEACE"! Maybe, just maybe, it will make the difference in the eyes of someone who is watching.
Peace.
Monday, December 19, 2005
Power Shopping!
Every year we do it. We brave the mall during this, the last week before Christmas. The boys really seem to enjoy it. Usually, the group includes my extended family and us. Occasionally, though, it has just been the boys and me. Today was the latter.
The boys and I left for the mall around 1:00. We divide and conquer. I am pretty much done with shopping...so today was my day to help them.
Round 1: Ds's 1 and 2 go off alone to do whatever teenage guys do when they shop. Ds 3 decided HE (at 11) is quite OK going out on his own. (So I gave him my cell phone with strict orders to call dss 1 and 2 if he needed anything.) DS 4 and I went shopping...for the brothers and his Dad. I am not sure how I drew the short straw in this round, but I did. (I say that with love, really I do.) It's just that ds 4 wants to stop and look at all the other 6 yr. old distractions that are in the mall. He actually tried to convince me that he needed to just take the money that he had budgeted for today and put it in his bank...then everything would be OK. One hour later, round 1 ended.
Round 2: DS 2 takes DSs 3 and 4 to shop for Mom and Dad while DS 1 and I go and find a gift for his girlfriend. This is no picnic either! He is conflicted because she has put parameters on the gift. She wants "no jewelry"..."no cheesy stuffed animal" and yet wants him to find something meaningful. DS 1 tells me, "Her favorite color is yellow..." NOW THERE'S a lot to shop on! During this round, I realize just how FEW YELLOW meaningful gifts are in the mall! We found something though and Round 2 ended.
Round 3: DS 1 and I get caught in the food court getting a bite to eat by all other DSs. They join us and DS 1 and 3 go off together. DS 4 now needs to shop for me and so DS 2 helps. I WIN this round as I get a few minutes of quiet time to browse a few stores in the mall. DSs 1 and 3 are done in record time...but I still win because the oldest drives and they call me and tell me they are heading home. During my quiet browsing...another call comes in. It's DS 2 who calls and says, "Mom, can you talk to DB 4 and tell him that you DON'T want a football for Christmas!" So, I am in the clothing store talking loud because of a bad signal saying, "NO son, I DON'T want a Buccaneer football for Christmas!" It took a bit of convincing...but I think it worked. I did notice a few snickers from the people around me, though.
Round 4: DSs 2 and 4 and I are done and we make our way to the mall exit. On the way, DS 4 announces, "Mom, DB2 wouldn't let me get you a Gator football blanket." No offense to you Gator fans, but I don't even LIKE the Gators. DS 4 proceeds to tell me that he tried to tell his brother, "it doesn't matter the team...because Mom just likes football." That is true...I DO like football....
As we leave the mall, I whisper a prayer of thanks. Thanks for four wonderful sons who can even spend time in a mall without fighting. Thanks that they are helping steer each other in the right direction. Thanks that ds 4 knows his mother well enough to know that she likes football (I'll report on what I ended up with after the big reveal)! And thanks that THIS powershopping trip came to a successful end!
Happy Shopping Everyone!!
The boys and I left for the mall around 1:00. We divide and conquer. I am pretty much done with shopping...so today was my day to help them.
Round 1: Ds's 1 and 2 go off alone to do whatever teenage guys do when they shop. Ds 3 decided HE (at 11) is quite OK going out on his own. (So I gave him my cell phone with strict orders to call dss 1 and 2 if he needed anything.) DS 4 and I went shopping...for the brothers and his Dad. I am not sure how I drew the short straw in this round, but I did. (I say that with love, really I do.) It's just that ds 4 wants to stop and look at all the other 6 yr. old distractions that are in the mall. He actually tried to convince me that he needed to just take the money that he had budgeted for today and put it in his bank...then everything would be OK. One hour later, round 1 ended.
Round 2: DS 2 takes DSs 3 and 4 to shop for Mom and Dad while DS 1 and I go and find a gift for his girlfriend. This is no picnic either! He is conflicted because she has put parameters on the gift. She wants "no jewelry"..."no cheesy stuffed animal" and yet wants him to find something meaningful. DS 1 tells me, "Her favorite color is yellow..." NOW THERE'S a lot to shop on! During this round, I realize just how FEW YELLOW meaningful gifts are in the mall! We found something though and Round 2 ended.
Round 3: DS 1 and I get caught in the food court getting a bite to eat by all other DSs. They join us and DS 1 and 3 go off together. DS 4 now needs to shop for me and so DS 2 helps. I WIN this round as I get a few minutes of quiet time to browse a few stores in the mall. DSs 1 and 3 are done in record time...but I still win because the oldest drives and they call me and tell me they are heading home. During my quiet browsing...another call comes in. It's DS 2 who calls and says, "Mom, can you talk to DB 4 and tell him that you DON'T want a football for Christmas!" So, I am in the clothing store talking loud because of a bad signal saying, "NO son, I DON'T want a Buccaneer football for Christmas!" It took a bit of convincing...but I think it worked. I did notice a few snickers from the people around me, though.
Round 4: DSs 2 and 4 and I are done and we make our way to the mall exit. On the way, DS 4 announces, "Mom, DB2 wouldn't let me get you a Gator football blanket." No offense to you Gator fans, but I don't even LIKE the Gators. DS 4 proceeds to tell me that he tried to tell his brother, "it doesn't matter the team...because Mom just likes football." That is true...I DO like football....
As we leave the mall, I whisper a prayer of thanks. Thanks for four wonderful sons who can even spend time in a mall without fighting. Thanks that they are helping steer each other in the right direction. Thanks that ds 4 knows his mother well enough to know that she likes football (I'll report on what I ended up with after the big reveal)! And thanks that THIS powershopping trip came to a successful end!
Happy Shopping Everyone!!
Saturday, December 17, 2005
Watch, Weep, and Wish
I'm weepy lately. I don't know why. It could be strictly that I'm a female in my forties. On the other hand, it could be holiday stress.
I've decided that it a good portion of my weepiness has to do with all that I have been watching lately. I'm watching my boys become men (at least the oldest two). I am watching them trying to make their own way in their own worlds. DSs 1 and 2 both have girlfriends that they are pretty serious about. I adore both girls. They didn't pick girls that are totally wrapped up in their teenage worlds and whose lives are filled with drama. No, they picked girls that have their heads on their shoulders and are excited about their futures. They picked girls who are down to earth and unafraid to try new things. I am proud of both of them.
Of course, with their focus on school, developing their relationships and extracurricular stuff, we get squeezed to the bottom sometimes. That's just kind of how it works I think. My priorities can't always be their priorities. I think I'm OK with that.
As I watched them today, I wept. I wasn't ready for them to change so quickly. I wept because there are things to do and they are busy. I wept because I am learning that I will not always be in control of my world. I wept because I can.
I also wish. I wish that I could have more time. I wish that they would each always know how much they are loved. I wish that they will continue to refine their characters into Godly young men.
I know that they are growing. I know that life will go on for all of us. And I know that God will hold them in His hand as they experience this phase of their lives. I also know that He will hold me in His hand as I watch, as I weep, and as I wish.
I've decided that it a good portion of my weepiness has to do with all that I have been watching lately. I'm watching my boys become men (at least the oldest two). I am watching them trying to make their own way in their own worlds. DSs 1 and 2 both have girlfriends that they are pretty serious about. I adore both girls. They didn't pick girls that are totally wrapped up in their teenage worlds and whose lives are filled with drama. No, they picked girls that have their heads on their shoulders and are excited about their futures. They picked girls who are down to earth and unafraid to try new things. I am proud of both of them.
Of course, with their focus on school, developing their relationships and extracurricular stuff, we get squeezed to the bottom sometimes. That's just kind of how it works I think. My priorities can't always be their priorities. I think I'm OK with that.
As I watched them today, I wept. I wasn't ready for them to change so quickly. I wept because there are things to do and they are busy. I wept because I am learning that I will not always be in control of my world. I wept because I can.
I also wish. I wish that I could have more time. I wish that they would each always know how much they are loved. I wish that they will continue to refine their characters into Godly young men.
I know that they are growing. I know that life will go on for all of us. And I know that God will hold them in His hand as they experience this phase of their lives. I also know that He will hold me in His hand as I watch, as I weep, and as I wish.
Monday, November 28, 2005
A "Simple" Prayer Request
I am guilty. I have been known to make the following statement about someone I considered "very spiritual": "Well we KNOW his/her prayers hit heaven." Now I know that all of our prayers do "hit heaven"...I think we fall into the trap of judging someone's spiritual life and deciding that they must have a direct link to God. I know I am not alone in the trap. God DOES hear our prayers. I believe it. Yet, at times I still find myself questioning...but then something happens to remind me of the truth:
This week, dh said to me, "Did you know that ds 4 puts a prayer request card in the plate at church every week?" I do watch him write on the card each week. He has been doing this since he could hold the pen. First he would scribble the lines, now he fills it out. One Sunday, he even wrote his brother a note that said, "Dear Brother 2, You owe me 1,0000,00000,0000 dollars." But, not wanting to admit that I have never seen him slip his card into the plate...I just said, "Oh?" Dh continued: "Do you know what he's prayed for over the past three or so weeks?" Again, I shrug. Dh says: "World Peace". World Peace? You could have knocked me over with a feather!
DS 4 who is a tornado in motion most of the time! DS 4 who has such a zest for life that it makes the rest of us dizzy! DS 4 who can get under the skin of his older brothers (and sometimes his Mother) quicker than a splinter!
Then I re-think his request and I re-think him: DS 4 who is extremely sensitive and completely aware of the world around him. DS 4 who has such a love for people and animals of all kinds. DS 4 who has never met a stranger. DS 4 who has brought us joy beyond belief. DS 4 who has faith that is immeasurable. (FYI: He believed that HE really would find Boardwalk in the McDonald's Monopoly game and win the million dollars! When the game ended, he said, "There's always next time.")
Jesus said that we should have the faith of a little child. I know I am not supposed to say it, but somehow I think that THIS little boy's prayers DO "hit heaven". I am sure that Jesus just smiles at his simple yet powerful request.
World Peace? I hope so son, I hope so.
This week, dh said to me, "Did you know that ds 4 puts a prayer request card in the plate at church every week?" I do watch him write on the card each week. He has been doing this since he could hold the pen. First he would scribble the lines, now he fills it out. One Sunday, he even wrote his brother a note that said, "Dear Brother 2, You owe me 1,0000,00000,0000 dollars." But, not wanting to admit that I have never seen him slip his card into the plate...I just said, "Oh?" Dh continued: "Do you know what he's prayed for over the past three or so weeks?" Again, I shrug. Dh says: "World Peace". World Peace? You could have knocked me over with a feather!
DS 4 who is a tornado in motion most of the time! DS 4 who has such a zest for life that it makes the rest of us dizzy! DS 4 who can get under the skin of his older brothers (and sometimes his Mother) quicker than a splinter!
Then I re-think his request and I re-think him: DS 4 who is extremely sensitive and completely aware of the world around him. DS 4 who has such a love for people and animals of all kinds. DS 4 who has never met a stranger. DS 4 who has brought us joy beyond belief. DS 4 who has faith that is immeasurable. (FYI: He believed that HE really would find Boardwalk in the McDonald's Monopoly game and win the million dollars! When the game ended, he said, "There's always next time.")
Jesus said that we should have the faith of a little child. I know I am not supposed to say it, but somehow I think that THIS little boy's prayers DO "hit heaven". I am sure that Jesus just smiles at his simple yet powerful request.
World Peace? I hope so son, I hope so.
Sunday, November 20, 2005
Seen any red cars lately?
Dh had another great sermon today as he reminded us the importance of being thankful. He asked an interesting question: How many of you saw a red car on the way to church today? Of course a few hands went up.
Then he said, "I want everyone to look for a red car on the way home." He continued: "Now that I asked that, how many of you think you'll see a red car on the way home?" Almost all the hands went up.
He noted "Everyone will notice one because you'll be looking for it." Then he drove his point home: We have to look for the blessings in our lives. We sometimes take things for granted and miss them. It's up to us to recognize them and then be truly thankful for them.
So: Have YOU seen any red cars lately?
Then he said, "I want everyone to look for a red car on the way home." He continued: "Now that I asked that, how many of you think you'll see a red car on the way home?" Almost all the hands went up.
He noted "Everyone will notice one because you'll be looking for it." Then he drove his point home: We have to look for the blessings in our lives. We sometimes take things for granted and miss them. It's up to us to recognize them and then be truly thankful for them.
So: Have YOU seen any red cars lately?
Saturday, November 19, 2005
More Lessons from Son 4
There is a new song out on Christian radio that says: "The one thing that I don't question is you. You really love me like you say you do." It's a beautiful thought that I think most of us have a hard time grasping as adults.
Son 4 loves this song. When it comes on the radio he sings it with such conviction and belief. He truly has that faith of a child and it's so precious to watch and hear. It's obvious that He trusts that God does love Him and he should never question that love.
Now when I hear the song I ask myself, "what would it take to really say that statement like I mean it all the time...AND to live life in the same way?" What a different world this would be if Christians could just start with the belief that no matter what they are loved by God AND that we don't question Him.
I'm off to listen to more radio...and maybe learn more lessons.
Son 4 loves this song. When it comes on the radio he sings it with such conviction and belief. He truly has that faith of a child and it's so precious to watch and hear. It's obvious that He trusts that God does love Him and he should never question that love.
Now when I hear the song I ask myself, "what would it take to really say that statement like I mean it all the time...AND to live life in the same way?" What a different world this would be if Christians could just start with the belief that no matter what they are loved by God AND that we don't question Him.
I'm off to listen to more radio...and maybe learn more lessons.
Wednesday, November 16, 2005
My Crazy Life
Some days I wonder if I am coming or going! With six schedules to coordinate, it keeps me (and my family) absolutely hopping.
I was thinking the other day about a "simpler life" and really wondering what I would "give up" if I could. Here's our list of things that cost time:
1. Soccer games for ds 4
2. Youth group for dss 1, 2, 3
3. Church activities for all of us
4. Soccer practice and games for ds 2
5. Dh's work
6. My work
There isn't one thing on this list that I would give up. Watching my kids play sports is a joy and I KNOW builds confidence and character. Knowing that my boys are so involved in the Youth Group both as participants in high school youth and leaders for middle school youth (sons 1 and 2) makes me SO proud. Son 3 is really coming along well as he learns to balance school and social activities. I love my job and I am confident that dh also loves his work. I can honestly say that I don't know what to "give up". I don't know how to simplify.
Really when I think about it...life was like that for my family the minute I hit high school. More things tug at their social lives which cause the rest of us to be impacted. Being involved in my church and school though helped define who I am today. I am confident that my boys' activities will do the same.
I just pray that on those days when I feel like I want to scream or have the urge to sing Ricky Martin's "La Vida Loco"...that I can gain the perspective I need to realize that life is sometimes busy and it's OK. I also hope that I recognize when I am given the opportunity to slow down...and that I will have the wisdom to take it as the gift that it truly is.
In the meantime, I am off to soccer practice to pick up son 4!
I was thinking the other day about a "simpler life" and really wondering what I would "give up" if I could. Here's our list of things that cost time:
1. Soccer games for ds 4
2. Youth group for dss 1, 2, 3
3. Church activities for all of us
4. Soccer practice and games for ds 2
5. Dh's work
6. My work
There isn't one thing on this list that I would give up. Watching my kids play sports is a joy and I KNOW builds confidence and character. Knowing that my boys are so involved in the Youth Group both as participants in high school youth and leaders for middle school youth (sons 1 and 2) makes me SO proud. Son 3 is really coming along well as he learns to balance school and social activities. I love my job and I am confident that dh also loves his work. I can honestly say that I don't know what to "give up". I don't know how to simplify.
Really when I think about it...life was like that for my family the minute I hit high school. More things tug at their social lives which cause the rest of us to be impacted. Being involved in my church and school though helped define who I am today. I am confident that my boys' activities will do the same.
I just pray that on those days when I feel like I want to scream or have the urge to sing Ricky Martin's "La Vida Loco"...that I can gain the perspective I need to realize that life is sometimes busy and it's OK. I also hope that I recognize when I am given the opportunity to slow down...and that I will have the wisdom to take it as the gift that it truly is.
In the meantime, I am off to soccer practice to pick up son 4!
Tuesday, November 15, 2005
Food for Thought
I have spent the last few days wondering "where I am going" and "what I want to do with my life"....then I found this quote. Now I will spend some time pondering its depth:
"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, “Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?” Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we're liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."
Marianne Williamson
"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, “Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?” Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we're liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."
Marianne Williamson
Sunday, November 13, 2005
Leaving On a Jet Plane
Remember the old song?
So kiss me and smile for me
Tell me that you'll wait for me...
Hold me like you'll never let me go....
I'm leaving on a jet plane
don't know when I'll be back again...
Dh is off again. This time he is going to California for three days. So, yes, I know when he'll be back again...but I hate to see him go. Now, I must admit that it IS getting easier (thank goodness)! But it's still no picnic.
You see ever since we have been married...it seems that our parenting, running the household, and other "stuff" has been a two-way street of give and take. OK, he may do more at times than I do...in fact, my Mom and Stepmother say I am downright spoiled! And they are right.
I am blessed. It just seems lately as he has traveled that God has shown me how He has passed that blessing along to our sons. They pull a little more weight while Dad's away. The older ones help out with the younger ones. They help me juggle schedules...transportation (thank God for two licensed drivers)...and keep me sane.
Yes, I know when dh will be back...but it's not soon enough. I miss him when he is away. I suppose it is true, though that absence DOES make the heart grow fonder. I'm just glad we have until January before he is gone again!!
So kiss me and smile for me
Tell me that you'll wait for me...
Hold me like you'll never let me go....
I'm leaving on a jet plane
don't know when I'll be back again...
Dh is off again. This time he is going to California for three days. So, yes, I know when he'll be back again...but I hate to see him go. Now, I must admit that it IS getting easier (thank goodness)! But it's still no picnic.
You see ever since we have been married...it seems that our parenting, running the household, and other "stuff" has been a two-way street of give and take. OK, he may do more at times than I do...in fact, my Mom and Stepmother say I am downright spoiled! And they are right.
I am blessed. It just seems lately as he has traveled that God has shown me how He has passed that blessing along to our sons. They pull a little more weight while Dad's away. The older ones help out with the younger ones. They help me juggle schedules...transportation (thank God for two licensed drivers)...and keep me sane.
Yes, I know when dh will be back...but it's not soon enough. I miss him when he is away. I suppose it is true, though that absence DOES make the heart grow fonder. I'm just glad we have until January before he is gone again!!
Thursday, November 10, 2005
A Second Lesson
My FIL called me a little while ago and said, "Turn on channel 7. You have to see the story that is coming up." I had no idea what or why I needed to do this, but then he said, "They are going to talk about how having children makes women smarter." So I turned it on.
It is true that studies are suggesting that women are, in fact, smarter after they give birth and start raising children. Why? Because it requires multi-tasking, problem-solving, and all the other things that mothers "do".
The most interesting part of this lesson did not happen on the TV...but with son 4 as we watched this news segment. He heard them state, "Having children may actually make women smarter." Son 4 exclaimed: "It does? Wow, Mom...that means you know more than ME!" Before I could say a word, he said: "Tell me EVERYTHING you know, Mom! Please. Tell me all of it!"
I am not sure having children made me smarter, but it certainly keeps me on my toes. Now, I have to go tell son 4 "everything I know".
It is true that studies are suggesting that women are, in fact, smarter after they give birth and start raising children. Why? Because it requires multi-tasking, problem-solving, and all the other things that mothers "do".
The most interesting part of this lesson did not happen on the TV...but with son 4 as we watched this news segment. He heard them state, "Having children may actually make women smarter." Son 4 exclaimed: "It does? Wow, Mom...that means you know more than ME!" Before I could say a word, he said: "Tell me EVERYTHING you know, Mom! Please. Tell me all of it!"
I am not sure having children made me smarter, but it certainly keeps me on my toes. Now, I have to go tell son 4 "everything I know".
The Ripple Effect
Last week, when ds 1 got into some trouble, we talked about "The Ripple Effect". Since this conversation, we have noticed just how relevant and real this is. Basically, he and I discussed the fact that EVERY SINGLE decision we make has a ripple effect. Our decisions either send out a positive "ripple" or negative "ripple". It's up to us to decide. I even heard son 1 sharing this lesson with his brothers this week.
Thursday, November 03, 2005
I'm So Thankful!
Things have been crazy around our house lately...everyone's going in a different direction...though positively. I'm glad November is here. Not because it translates to anything really slowing down...but because it is a month that I am reminded to be thankful. I know that I should be thankful all the time...and maybe it's the teacher in me...but the "I'm thankful for..." statements start flowing around me starting November 1st and going right through the Winter Holidays.
Recently several things that have happened that have made me thankful:
1. DS 1 got in big trouble last week. I'm sure you're thinking: "You have a warped since of thankful, Susan!" It wasn't the trouble I am thankful for...but rather his response to it. When we talked about it with him, he said, "I know I screwed up." He was right. And he knew that he deserved the consequences that came his way as a result. Our conversation about his infraction was just that, a conversation. It wasn't hateful but rather a reality check. It was a true glimpse into and reminder of the fact that our first born son is growing up into a fine young man. For this, I am SO thankful!
2. DS 2 and I gave one of his teammates a ride home for the second time this week from the soccer game tonight. As we dropped this young man off at his house I asked son 2, "Doesn't his family ever come to his games?" He told me "No" and proceeded to tell me that the parent gets frustrated when he can't find his own ride and figure it out. I said, "That is sad." Son 2 said, "Yeah it makes you glad that you are in a family that does care." For this, I am SO thankful!
3. Dh and I had a conversation on the phone last night. I am single this week...a HUGE challenge for me! I shared something that I wanted (not really needed) and he reminded me of reality and the need to "wait a bit longer". My first inclination was to pout...yes, I know I do that. And I suppose I did for a while...but during further reflection I thought: "I am SO thankful that he is the voice of reason and that he cares enough about our family that he can think so clearly." For him, I am eternally grateful!!
4. During one neurotic "I-can't-spin-one-more-plate" moment this week, I heard the voice of a dear friend remind me that I needed to let go and let God. She reminded me to give Him my cares and to take things one day at a time. For her gentle words and important reminder, I am SO thankful!
5. I have been troubled this week by the story of a young pastor that was tragically electrocuted during a baptismal service this week. I listened to part of the funeral service online tonight and read an excerpt from his last sermon that he was going to deliver after this baptism. In it he planned to remind his church to live and live well (You can read it here. I am thankful for this message. It is a reminder that none of us has the promise of even one more second on this Earth...but we should live and live well.
I hope you all find time to be thankful this month. May it be the beginning of us all acknowledging the blessings in our lives. May we not take one single breath for granted and may we truly "live and live well."
Recently several things that have happened that have made me thankful:
1. DS 1 got in big trouble last week. I'm sure you're thinking: "You have a warped since of thankful, Susan!" It wasn't the trouble I am thankful for...but rather his response to it. When we talked about it with him, he said, "I know I screwed up." He was right. And he knew that he deserved the consequences that came his way as a result. Our conversation about his infraction was just that, a conversation. It wasn't hateful but rather a reality check. It was a true glimpse into and reminder of the fact that our first born son is growing up into a fine young man. For this, I am SO thankful!
2. DS 2 and I gave one of his teammates a ride home for the second time this week from the soccer game tonight. As we dropped this young man off at his house I asked son 2, "Doesn't his family ever come to his games?" He told me "No" and proceeded to tell me that the parent gets frustrated when he can't find his own ride and figure it out. I said, "That is sad." Son 2 said, "Yeah it makes you glad that you are in a family that does care." For this, I am SO thankful!
3. Dh and I had a conversation on the phone last night. I am single this week...a HUGE challenge for me! I shared something that I wanted (not really needed) and he reminded me of reality and the need to "wait a bit longer". My first inclination was to pout...yes, I know I do that. And I suppose I did for a while...but during further reflection I thought: "I am SO thankful that he is the voice of reason and that he cares enough about our family that he can think so clearly." For him, I am eternally grateful!!
4. During one neurotic "I-can't-spin-one-more-plate" moment this week, I heard the voice of a dear friend remind me that I needed to let go and let God. She reminded me to give Him my cares and to take things one day at a time. For her gentle words and important reminder, I am SO thankful!
5. I have been troubled this week by the story of a young pastor that was tragically electrocuted during a baptismal service this week. I listened to part of the funeral service online tonight and read an excerpt from his last sermon that he was going to deliver after this baptism. In it he planned to remind his church to live and live well (You can read it here. I am thankful for this message. It is a reminder that none of us has the promise of even one more second on this Earth...but we should live and live well.
I hope you all find time to be thankful this month. May it be the beginning of us all acknowledging the blessings in our lives. May we not take one single breath for granted and may we truly "live and live well."
Friday, October 07, 2005
Mirror, Mirror on the Wall
I think every school in our state is on overload right now. While I certainly agree that children should be able to read in order to be promoted, this law has created much stress on many public school students, schools, and the teachers that work there. We are in a new "data-driven" age where everything must be proven with test data and numbers. The demands are great, expectations high, and stress even higher.
I am fortunate, because I work in a place where, for the most part, people WANT to see kids succeed. We do the best we can to stay kid-centered and aware of what's "right" about education and learning. But even the best places can get stressed out.
My friend, Mellissa, told me that she is combatting this at her school with a fresh "look" in the staff bathroom. She put some nice magazines in there, hung some humorous cartoons and fun poems on the walls, posted Oprah's calendar, added a Fall basket with chocolate (yes, chocolate) and dry erase markers. You might ask, "Why dry erase markers?" To leave messages on the mirrors, of course. She told me, "You wouldn't believe what a difference it has made in my staff...they LOVE going to the bathroom and they are smiling more. They are having a blast writing messages on the mirror!" I decided to try it.
On Tuesday, my friend Cheryl and I started by putting up cartoons and poems and those dry erase markers. I wrote one message on each bathroom mirror: Leave a message for someone else. We weren't going to tell anyone it was us, but I decided to clue our boss in so that he wasn't caught off guard.
After day one, people were "buzzing" about the bathrooms. They were leaving funny messages on the mirror including: "Thanks for the therapy!" "This is FUN!" and "You look gorgeous!" among other things. My boss said, "I don't like the mirror thing...you can't see your face." I politely told him to "get over it" and reassured him that he was fine.
Day two, I added the chocolate. Again, my boss didn't like it too much. But his reaction paled in comparison to the rest of the school that is all abuzz about what's going on in the bathroom. They are laughing and smiling. They are visiting the bathroom "just for a little comic relief"...they are leaving many positive messages on the mirrors....And they ARE taking the chocolate.
Despite what my boss says, I think it's a good thing. If writing on a mirror helps destress anyone...it's pretty low-cost therapy, you know?
It's Friday....I'm tired...I'm fighting stress...and my busy family has a million things to do this weekend...I just might put one NEW thing on our weekend agenda though:
Get some dry-erase markers and Write on the Mirror!
I am fortunate, because I work in a place where, for the most part, people WANT to see kids succeed. We do the best we can to stay kid-centered and aware of what's "right" about education and learning. But even the best places can get stressed out.
My friend, Mellissa, told me that she is combatting this at her school with a fresh "look" in the staff bathroom. She put some nice magazines in there, hung some humorous cartoons and fun poems on the walls, posted Oprah's calendar, added a Fall basket with chocolate (yes, chocolate) and dry erase markers. You might ask, "Why dry erase markers?" To leave messages on the mirrors, of course. She told me, "You wouldn't believe what a difference it has made in my staff...they LOVE going to the bathroom and they are smiling more. They are having a blast writing messages on the mirror!" I decided to try it.
On Tuesday, my friend Cheryl and I started by putting up cartoons and poems and those dry erase markers. I wrote one message on each bathroom mirror: Leave a message for someone else. We weren't going to tell anyone it was us, but I decided to clue our boss in so that he wasn't caught off guard.
After day one, people were "buzzing" about the bathrooms. They were leaving funny messages on the mirror including: "Thanks for the therapy!" "This is FUN!" and "You look gorgeous!" among other things. My boss said, "I don't like the mirror thing...you can't see your face." I politely told him to "get over it" and reassured him that he was fine.
Day two, I added the chocolate. Again, my boss didn't like it too much. But his reaction paled in comparison to the rest of the school that is all abuzz about what's going on in the bathroom. They are laughing and smiling. They are visiting the bathroom "just for a little comic relief"...they are leaving many positive messages on the mirrors....And they ARE taking the chocolate.
Despite what my boss says, I think it's a good thing. If writing on a mirror helps destress anyone...it's pretty low-cost therapy, you know?
It's Friday....I'm tired...I'm fighting stress...and my busy family has a million things to do this weekend...I just might put one NEW thing on our weekend agenda though:
Get some dry-erase markers and Write on the Mirror!
Friday, September 30, 2005
A Contrast in Characters
And my "Get-the-golden-rule-under-your-belt-one-way-or-another-week" continues!
Tonight, my friend, Elaine took me to see Grease at a local theater. She received these two tickets for her birthday a couple of weeks back. Since dh is out of town, son 4 stayed at Grandma and Grandpa's, and the older boys had plans, we decided at the last minute to take ds 3 with us. I called the theater to make sure they had tickets available and was told, "You come in early and the box office manager can work his magic." For those of you who read my Menopause the Musical blog...relax...we are NOT going to the "box seats" this time!
As promised, the box office man did find us a seat in the same row, just 6 seats down from our two seats. Since we were in row three, we thought this would be best...and we thought for sure that people might not mind just scooting over one seat so son 3 could sit with us and not have to sit alone. After all, he's only 11.
Seats 11 and 12 showed up---season ticket holders. They were a nice older couple who had just come back from watching their granddaughter perform in the same musical in Connecticut. Definitely proud grandparents. In our conversation, we explained that we were hoping people might be willing to shift in the row to allow son 3 to stay next to us. The gentleman said, "That shouldn't be a problem...but you never know. You know how people sometimes are." He assured us that he and his wife would be happy to move if the seat next to them stayed empty.
It looked pretty promising until moments before the show when seats 7 and 8 showed up. Now I should make sure that every reader understands that we live in a community with many retirees and people who have earned the "right" not to budge from what they want when they want it. And, unfortunately, many of them exercise that right on a regular basis.
We tried to explain to these two people our predicament and asked kindly if they were willing to shift ONE seat to the right so that ds 3 didn't have to sit alone. The man said emphatically, "I paid for seats 7 and 8 and I will NOT sit in seats 6 and 7!" Am I the ONLY person who thinks this was absolutely ridiculous????
DS moved down alone to seat 3 to wait and see if we could shift the other way. In the meantime, the lady and husband with attitude snuggled up next to me in their seats and did not say another word. I admit that I had to ask forgiveness for my thoughts at that moment...but restrained from saying anything to them. (With help, maybe I'll get this rule thing down, yet.)
At showtime, the seats next to our new friends in seats 11 and 12 were still empty...we all moved down at their suggestion...and ds 3 sat right next to the people who have earned and exercised the "right" not to budge. Actually, it centered us more than we already were.
We thoroughly enjoyed the show.
Now, I realize this truly WAS a contrast of characters. See, the people in seats 11 and 12 explained to us that they are Christians and don't see why people have to be so rude and inflexible. We learned a lot about these two people during the evening and really enjoyed our time together. Seats 7 and 8 never spoke to anyone else the rest of the evening. They didn't even look like they LIKED each other much less anyone else around!
I told son 3 later, it's a lesson that we all need to remember. When we have the opportunity to demonstrate kindness for others, then we need to do so like the people in seats 11 and 12.
I only have one question: I wonder if this cancels out the pizza experience?
(disclaimer to all retired persons: I am well aware that there are wonderful people living out their retirement years with compassion and kindness. I also know that my comment about those retirees living in our area in no way applies to everyone. In other words, "If the shoe doesn't fit, don't wear it.")
Tonight, my friend, Elaine took me to see Grease at a local theater. She received these two tickets for her birthday a couple of weeks back. Since dh is out of town, son 4 stayed at Grandma and Grandpa's, and the older boys had plans, we decided at the last minute to take ds 3 with us. I called the theater to make sure they had tickets available and was told, "You come in early and the box office manager can work his magic." For those of you who read my Menopause the Musical blog...relax...we are NOT going to the "box seats" this time!
As promised, the box office man did find us a seat in the same row, just 6 seats down from our two seats. Since we were in row three, we thought this would be best...and we thought for sure that people might not mind just scooting over one seat so son 3 could sit with us and not have to sit alone. After all, he's only 11.
Seats 11 and 12 showed up---season ticket holders. They were a nice older couple who had just come back from watching their granddaughter perform in the same musical in Connecticut. Definitely proud grandparents. In our conversation, we explained that we were hoping people might be willing to shift in the row to allow son 3 to stay next to us. The gentleman said, "That shouldn't be a problem...but you never know. You know how people sometimes are." He assured us that he and his wife would be happy to move if the seat next to them stayed empty.
It looked pretty promising until moments before the show when seats 7 and 8 showed up. Now I should make sure that every reader understands that we live in a community with many retirees and people who have earned the "right" not to budge from what they want when they want it. And, unfortunately, many of them exercise that right on a regular basis.
We tried to explain to these two people our predicament and asked kindly if they were willing to shift ONE seat to the right so that ds 3 didn't have to sit alone. The man said emphatically, "I paid for seats 7 and 8 and I will NOT sit in seats 6 and 7!" Am I the ONLY person who thinks this was absolutely ridiculous????
DS moved down alone to seat 3 to wait and see if we could shift the other way. In the meantime, the lady and husband with attitude snuggled up next to me in their seats and did not say another word. I admit that I had to ask forgiveness for my thoughts at that moment...but restrained from saying anything to them. (With help, maybe I'll get this rule thing down, yet.)
At showtime, the seats next to our new friends in seats 11 and 12 were still empty...we all moved down at their suggestion...and ds 3 sat right next to the people who have earned and exercised the "right" not to budge. Actually, it centered us more than we already were.
We thoroughly enjoyed the show.
Now, I realize this truly WAS a contrast of characters. See, the people in seats 11 and 12 explained to us that they are Christians and don't see why people have to be so rude and inflexible. We learned a lot about these two people during the evening and really enjoyed our time together. Seats 7 and 8 never spoke to anyone else the rest of the evening. They didn't even look like they LIKED each other much less anyone else around!
I told son 3 later, it's a lesson that we all need to remember. When we have the opportunity to demonstrate kindness for others, then we need to do so like the people in seats 11 and 12.
I only have one question: I wonder if this cancels out the pizza experience?
(disclaimer to all retired persons: I am well aware that there are wonderful people living out their retirement years with compassion and kindness. I also know that my comment about those retirees living in our area in no way applies to everyone. In other words, "If the shoe doesn't fit, don't wear it.")
Monday, September 26, 2005
The Golden Rule vs. The Pizza Rule
Most of you know that my dh is a pastor. On Sunday he preached about that lovely Golden Rule from the book of Matthew: "Treat others the way you want to be treated." (paraphrased)
I was OK with the sermon. It wasn't anything new to me. I've been hearing this rule (and mostly trying to live by it) for years. I DID think, however, "You know? You really could be more tender with sales people when they frustrate you." And I calmly whispered a prayer and asked God to help me make it so.
I did pretty good for the first 24 or so hours. DH is out of town this week. I had meetings late at work today and two of my sons had to leave for sports practice/training. The dinner window was very narrow for us. We spoke on the phone when I was on my way home around 4:50. All four kids agreed that pizza would be a good thing. So, I told them to go ahead and order. The order was completed just before 5:00.
DS 2 and I had a nice calm conversation about his day, life in general, the future, and other stuff while we waited for the dinner to arrive. Finally around 5:45, he said, "I'm going to call them and see where it is." He did. The man on the other end of the phone assured him that the driver left "10 minutes ago" with our pizzas. Knowing it would arrive any minute, ds watched eagerly out the window.
Around 6:00 we received a call from the pizza place and the driver told ds 2 that he was lost. DS gave him directions.
Ten minutes later, nothing.
I called the pizza place and asked them what happens when the pizza takes over an hour to deliver...and the manager said, "Tell the driver that Brian said it's free." That's all fine....but really doesn't solve the entire problem.
Patiently we continued to wait. Then the driver called me back. He told me where he was (less than one mile from my house). He told me that he was a driver for Dominos (I ordered Papa Johns) and that he was a manager who doesn't usually drive and he wrote down directions. I spoke slowly and calmly and was still living by the Golden Rule even as I realized that I had just been told by a Papa John's employee that he works for Dominos--and that he is a manager!
I called my new friend Brian, the manager of our local Papa Johns. I asked him the name of the driver that would be delivering my pizza and he said "John". I asked him if he was a manager. Brian said, "sort of we just hired him a week ago." I asked, "Did he used to work for Dominos? Because he thinks that he still does. Does this concern you? Because it concerns me greatly." He replied, "It certainly does. What did you order?" I told him and he promised that he would send out new pizzas with a different driver in 30 minutes. I hung up.
Right after I hung up, John (who thinks he works at Dominos) called back and said, "Did you order pizza?" I said, "yes." Then he said, "Can you give me directions?" At this point, I lost it. I said, "No. You can take the pizza back to your store. Just drive straight back there!" He once again said, "I'm a manager." I stopped him and said, "I don't care if you own Papa John's, I do not want you at my house!" (Goodbye Golden Rule, Hello Pizza Rule!)
45 minutes later, a sweet young lady rang the bell with my pizzas in tow. She started to tell me how much it would be. I smiled and said, "No, I think it's free." She reminded herself where she was and said, "Yes it is. I'm sorry about the delay." I thanked her...restrained myself from commenting on the word "delay"...and handed HER a tip for delivering my order.
Here I am three hours after this incident all began asking myself, "How could I have acted differently?" Well...I suppose I could have left off my commentary, stayed firm and a bit more calm than my last phone call. I know I am still rough around the edges. Thankfully, God allows me wiggle room and will continue to prune me until I get it right.
I just hope there's not a McDonald's rule, too!
I was OK with the sermon. It wasn't anything new to me. I've been hearing this rule (and mostly trying to live by it) for years. I DID think, however, "You know? You really could be more tender with sales people when they frustrate you." And I calmly whispered a prayer and asked God to help me make it so.
I did pretty good for the first 24 or so hours. DH is out of town this week. I had meetings late at work today and two of my sons had to leave for sports practice/training. The dinner window was very narrow for us. We spoke on the phone when I was on my way home around 4:50. All four kids agreed that pizza would be a good thing. So, I told them to go ahead and order. The order was completed just before 5:00.
DS 2 and I had a nice calm conversation about his day, life in general, the future, and other stuff while we waited for the dinner to arrive. Finally around 5:45, he said, "I'm going to call them and see where it is." He did. The man on the other end of the phone assured him that the driver left "10 minutes ago" with our pizzas. Knowing it would arrive any minute, ds watched eagerly out the window.
Around 6:00 we received a call from the pizza place and the driver told ds 2 that he was lost. DS gave him directions.
Ten minutes later, nothing.
I called the pizza place and asked them what happens when the pizza takes over an hour to deliver...and the manager said, "Tell the driver that Brian said it's free." That's all fine....but really doesn't solve the entire problem.
Patiently we continued to wait. Then the driver called me back. He told me where he was (less than one mile from my house). He told me that he was a driver for Dominos (I ordered Papa Johns) and that he was a manager who doesn't usually drive and he wrote down directions. I spoke slowly and calmly and was still living by the Golden Rule even as I realized that I had just been told by a Papa John's employee that he works for Dominos--and that he is a manager!
I called my new friend Brian, the manager of our local Papa Johns. I asked him the name of the driver that would be delivering my pizza and he said "John". I asked him if he was a manager. Brian said, "sort of we just hired him a week ago." I asked, "Did he used to work for Dominos? Because he thinks that he still does. Does this concern you? Because it concerns me greatly." He replied, "It certainly does. What did you order?" I told him and he promised that he would send out new pizzas with a different driver in 30 minutes. I hung up.
Right after I hung up, John (who thinks he works at Dominos) called back and said, "Did you order pizza?" I said, "yes." Then he said, "Can you give me directions?" At this point, I lost it. I said, "No. You can take the pizza back to your store. Just drive straight back there!" He once again said, "I'm a manager." I stopped him and said, "I don't care if you own Papa John's, I do not want you at my house!" (Goodbye Golden Rule, Hello Pizza Rule!)
45 minutes later, a sweet young lady rang the bell with my pizzas in tow. She started to tell me how much it would be. I smiled and said, "No, I think it's free." She reminded herself where she was and said, "Yes it is. I'm sorry about the delay." I thanked her...restrained myself from commenting on the word "delay"...and handed HER a tip for delivering my order.
Here I am three hours after this incident all began asking myself, "How could I have acted differently?" Well...I suppose I could have left off my commentary, stayed firm and a bit more calm than my last phone call. I know I am still rough around the edges. Thankfully, God allows me wiggle room and will continue to prune me until I get it right.
I just hope there's not a McDonald's rule, too!
Saturday, September 17, 2005
Soccer Anyone???
Son 2 is in week 3 of soccer season. Son 4 will start playing in a couple of weeks (and received his first "real" uniform today). For the past two Saturdays, dh and I (and some configuration of the rest of our family) have been at the soccer fields watching Son 2 play. Now he is not just a "rec" player. He LOVES this sport (and always has). He dreams of playing World Cup Soccer someday.
DS 1 used to play and also enjoys this sport. He has been entertaining the idea of playing again recently.
DS 3 has never really played...nor has he ever really wanted to. His talents are in other areas.
Occasionally, Son 2 goes to the local field and kicks around with friends or other "teams" that are out there playing. Most recently, he discovered a Hungarian mens team that goes out there to play. Tonight, he and his older brother decided they are going to go see if they are playing and try to get in the game.
Pretty soon, son 4 came out and was dressed and ready to accompany his big brothers to the field. His brothers showed great grace and told him he could tag along.
While eating dinner tonight, son 3 announces, "No one invited me!" To which son 2 replied, "You're always invited." Pretty soon, HE came out looking for his father's soccer cleats so he, too, could go to the field. I am definitely blown away by this!!
Five minutes ago, the four of them...dressed and ready....left for the field.
It's quiet in the house...except for the TV that is playing college football and dh and I typing on our computers. I'm thinking I might encourage them to go to the field more often :-)
As they left, I thought: I truly am blessed by the way they support and encourage one another. Of course, there are days when they don't even like to be in the same room...but today's not one of those. People often ask me how we do it with FOUR boys...this is how. They have learned to co-exist---to have a genuine care and concern for each other most of the time. They know how to be individuals...but they also enjoy each other.
I am thinking the next time they don't want to even breathe the same air, I might ask:
"Soccer anyone???"
DS 1 used to play and also enjoys this sport. He has been entertaining the idea of playing again recently.
DS 3 has never really played...nor has he ever really wanted to. His talents are in other areas.
Occasionally, Son 2 goes to the local field and kicks around with friends or other "teams" that are out there playing. Most recently, he discovered a Hungarian mens team that goes out there to play. Tonight, he and his older brother decided they are going to go see if they are playing and try to get in the game.
Pretty soon, son 4 came out and was dressed and ready to accompany his big brothers to the field. His brothers showed great grace and told him he could tag along.
While eating dinner tonight, son 3 announces, "No one invited me!" To which son 2 replied, "You're always invited." Pretty soon, HE came out looking for his father's soccer cleats so he, too, could go to the field. I am definitely blown away by this!!
Five minutes ago, the four of them...dressed and ready....left for the field.
It's quiet in the house...except for the TV that is playing college football and dh and I typing on our computers. I'm thinking I might encourage them to go to the field more often :-)
As they left, I thought: I truly am blessed by the way they support and encourage one another. Of course, there are days when they don't even like to be in the same room...but today's not one of those. People often ask me how we do it with FOUR boys...this is how. They have learned to co-exist---to have a genuine care and concern for each other most of the time. They know how to be individuals...but they also enjoy each other.
I am thinking the next time they don't want to even breathe the same air, I might ask:
"Soccer anyone???"
Sunday, September 11, 2005
Reflections on Son 2
As promised, I am going to try and reflect on his birthday and life. It seems like 16 years goes by so fast. I remember being 16. I was not nearly as focused or ready to enter my "next stages" as he is. He is already thinking about what he wants to do when he "grows up". And his dreams and goals are good.
This weekend has really made me reflect on all that he has accomplished in a very short time. He is an active member of our Youth Group. He is a leader. He plays drums. He plays soccer. He enjoys time with friends. He is a great student. That's a lot!
I am so proud of son 2. He is growing into a fine young man. There's a part of me that wants to shelter all of them and not let them go out into the "big world". He is proving that he is ready for it, though. He shows us by the decisions he makes and the maturity with which he approaches life.
On Monday, he'll cross another threshhold as he goes to get his license. We will have two young drivers in the family. It saddens me in a way...and yet I anticipate it. He is ready. It is time. Happy Birthday Son....Be careful out there.
This weekend has really made me reflect on all that he has accomplished in a very short time. He is an active member of our Youth Group. He is a leader. He plays drums. He plays soccer. He enjoys time with friends. He is a great student. That's a lot!
I am so proud of son 2. He is growing into a fine young man. There's a part of me that wants to shelter all of them and not let them go out into the "big world". He is proving that he is ready for it, though. He shows us by the decisions he makes and the maturity with which he approaches life.
On Monday, he'll cross another threshhold as he goes to get his license. We will have two young drivers in the family. It saddens me in a way...and yet I anticipate it. He is ready. It is time. Happy Birthday Son....Be careful out there.
Saturday, September 10, 2005
Happy Birthday Son 2!!
I have started this three times and each time my computer is shutting down before I get to post. So, I'll type more about his life in these 16 years later....
In the meantime, HAPPY BIRTHDAY Son 2!! I love you!!
In the meantime, HAPPY BIRTHDAY Son 2!! I love you!!
Monday, September 05, 2005
And the fun continued....
The celebration of Grandma's birthday continued into yesterday (Sunday). We met yesterday at 1:00 at the Harding Memorial in Marion. This is a beautiful historical structure in her hometown. Each of Grandma's four kids were there with their spouses and extended families. Each family unit chose a "color code" to bring some uniformity to the photo. It really turned out neat. There were 42 of us in all for the photo.
We rounded out the day at my Aunt's farm. This is always fun. We enjoyed plenty of food. The kids enjoyed playing in the field, picking apples and pears. The adults sit around and share stories of the past while catching up on each other's lives.
And there are always games: We played bocce ball....a VERY fun family game. The kids played football and soccer among other things.
DS 1 got a special guitar session with my Uncle who plays guitar and writes music and his friend and co-writer. They are both very talented men who enjoy sharing their gift of music with others. It was so neat to watch son 1 sit and soak in the session. My Uncle and his friend included son 1 in several songs and helped him learn some more bass runs. They truly honored who he is and the musician he is becoming. I thought as I watched this....THIS is how we pass on legacies to those who come after us! Thank you both for passing along and sharing your talent with my son.
DS 4 really enjoyed playing with the dogs and a few football games with boys that were at least twice his size. He simply doesn't want to believe he is only 6! I don't think he was phased by any size or age difference during the entire weekend. In fact, it dawned on him as we drove home last night that he "missed the food"! He was way too occupied with all the people, pets, and activities to stop and eat. (Dad and Mickey D's saved the day.)
Son 3 is fun to watch. My two nieces absolutely adore this one! He has such a special way with them. They gravitate to him and he seems to love it. I found him sitting and holding them several times. I also found them running around him and calling his name as they maneuvered through this busy day. He has been our photographer and videographer for most of the trip. I can't wait to see his final production! He ended his very busy day by helping his Dad clean and "fix-up" my Aunt's computer.
Son 2 was a little quieter yesterday. He did surprise me at one point though....my Aunt (who LOVES to play cards) asked, "Who wants to play Euchre?"...and son 2 piped up, "I DO!!" He must have seen the quizzical look on my face because he said immediately, "Mom, I told you I learned it at school!" And off he went with three adults he barely knew to participate in this family bonding moment. I think he and his partner won...I know he enjoyed the game.
Cynthia Rylant has a children's book out called, "The Relatives Came". I LOVE this book as it often takes me back to my childhood with this side of my family. One line in her book says, "We had to pass through three or four hugs just to get from one side of the house to the other." This is kind of how it is...there's lots of hugging, singing, playing, eating, and well...FUN!
This Labor Day weekend memories were made. I am thankful we live in a country where we can stop and enjoy each other...I pray that these are the memories that my own children will carry into their adult lives and pass along to their own children someday.
We rounded out the day at my Aunt's farm. This is always fun. We enjoyed plenty of food. The kids enjoyed playing in the field, picking apples and pears. The adults sit around and share stories of the past while catching up on each other's lives.
And there are always games: We played bocce ball....a VERY fun family game. The kids played football and soccer among other things.
DS 1 got a special guitar session with my Uncle who plays guitar and writes music and his friend and co-writer. They are both very talented men who enjoy sharing their gift of music with others. It was so neat to watch son 1 sit and soak in the session. My Uncle and his friend included son 1 in several songs and helped him learn some more bass runs. They truly honored who he is and the musician he is becoming. I thought as I watched this....THIS is how we pass on legacies to those who come after us! Thank you both for passing along and sharing your talent with my son.
DS 4 really enjoyed playing with the dogs and a few football games with boys that were at least twice his size. He simply doesn't want to believe he is only 6! I don't think he was phased by any size or age difference during the entire weekend. In fact, it dawned on him as we drove home last night that he "missed the food"! He was way too occupied with all the people, pets, and activities to stop and eat. (Dad and Mickey D's saved the day.)
Son 3 is fun to watch. My two nieces absolutely adore this one! He has such a special way with them. They gravitate to him and he seems to love it. I found him sitting and holding them several times. I also found them running around him and calling his name as they maneuvered through this busy day. He has been our photographer and videographer for most of the trip. I can't wait to see his final production! He ended his very busy day by helping his Dad clean and "fix-up" my Aunt's computer.
Son 2 was a little quieter yesterday. He did surprise me at one point though....my Aunt (who LOVES to play cards) asked, "Who wants to play Euchre?"...and son 2 piped up, "I DO!!" He must have seen the quizzical look on my face because he said immediately, "Mom, I told you I learned it at school!" And off he went with three adults he barely knew to participate in this family bonding moment. I think he and his partner won...I know he enjoyed the game.
Cynthia Rylant has a children's book out called, "The Relatives Came". I LOVE this book as it often takes me back to my childhood with this side of my family. One line in her book says, "We had to pass through three or four hugs just to get from one side of the house to the other." This is kind of how it is...there's lots of hugging, singing, playing, eating, and well...FUN!
This Labor Day weekend memories were made. I am thankful we live in a country where we can stop and enjoy each other...I pray that these are the memories that my own children will carry into their adult lives and pass along to their own children someday.
Sunday, September 04, 2005
She Never Knew a Thing (And Neither Did I)
I have been resisting the urge to write because I don't know if my Grandmother reads my blog or not. She turns 85 in a few days. For months, a plan has been brewing in secret to celebrate this occasion.
My extended family is from a small town in Ohio. DSs 3 and 4 and my Mom and I drove up on Thursday of last week. The rest of my Florida family flew up at various times between Thursday and Saturday. We have spent the last two days "dodging Grandma" as we have been waiting for this big event. In the meantime, I have had a lot of fun taking my Dad and my Mom around to video tape places from their childhood, and pieces of our family history. This was kind of a bonus to "the plan".
Last night, we carried out the real plan.
Fifty plus family members surprised Grandma with a reunion/party in her hometown of Marion, Ohio. My Aunt and Uncle had made arrangements to take her out to dinner for her birthday. On the way, my Uncle stopped by the VFW and told her he wanted to show her something in the back. The "in-town" family surprised her first. Then, they told her that there was one more surprise and the "out-of-town" family came walking in. She smiled and unending smile and cried and seemed totally shocked. It was really neat.
We had a dinner together then many more guests joined the fun as we sang karaoke and danced the night away. I love these times! I love the small town feel, the love and laughter of family, and just generally enjoying life. (An aside: the weather has also been WONDERFUL!)
Grandma wasn't the only person surprised at this event. As I said earlier, we had a DJ there to provide karaoke for everyone. Now, my family really loves karaoke. We have used this form of entertainment at weddings and family reunions for several years. My own family loves to play "Karaoke Revolution" on the Playstation. I've seen my boys sing and play in the privacy of our own home. Occasionally, they have stood up at family events and sang in a group or duet.
Last night, my two oldest sons took karaoke to a new level. DSs 1 and 2 started out by singing "Believe" by Cher. It was quite a performance. Son 2 became a totally new person behind the mike. Then, DS 2 sang "Billie Jean" by Michael Jackson. It was quite a rendition...perhaps the best part was when someone threw a child's pull-up at him and he finished his performance with it on his head without missing a beat!!
Son 1 sang a more serious song later in the night and son 2 rounded out our family's karaoke contribution with a stab at RESPECT by Aretha Franklin. Yes, I was surprised.
I was also proud. Proud that they are not afraid or inhibited to have fun. Proud that they are comfortable in who they are. Proud that they enjoyed this special family time to the fullest.
It truly was a great night. I think Grandma enjoyed herself immensly as I did. It really was a HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
My extended family is from a small town in Ohio. DSs 3 and 4 and my Mom and I drove up on Thursday of last week. The rest of my Florida family flew up at various times between Thursday and Saturday. We have spent the last two days "dodging Grandma" as we have been waiting for this big event. In the meantime, I have had a lot of fun taking my Dad and my Mom around to video tape places from their childhood, and pieces of our family history. This was kind of a bonus to "the plan".
Last night, we carried out the real plan.
Fifty plus family members surprised Grandma with a reunion/party in her hometown of Marion, Ohio. My Aunt and Uncle had made arrangements to take her out to dinner for her birthday. On the way, my Uncle stopped by the VFW and told her he wanted to show her something in the back. The "in-town" family surprised her first. Then, they told her that there was one more surprise and the "out-of-town" family came walking in. She smiled and unending smile and cried and seemed totally shocked. It was really neat.
We had a dinner together then many more guests joined the fun as we sang karaoke and danced the night away. I love these times! I love the small town feel, the love and laughter of family, and just generally enjoying life. (An aside: the weather has also been WONDERFUL!)
Grandma wasn't the only person surprised at this event. As I said earlier, we had a DJ there to provide karaoke for everyone. Now, my family really loves karaoke. We have used this form of entertainment at weddings and family reunions for several years. My own family loves to play "Karaoke Revolution" on the Playstation. I've seen my boys sing and play in the privacy of our own home. Occasionally, they have stood up at family events and sang in a group or duet.
Last night, my two oldest sons took karaoke to a new level. DSs 1 and 2 started out by singing "Believe" by Cher. It was quite a performance. Son 2 became a totally new person behind the mike. Then, DS 2 sang "Billie Jean" by Michael Jackson. It was quite a rendition...perhaps the best part was when someone threw a child's pull-up at him and he finished his performance with it on his head without missing a beat!!
Son 1 sang a more serious song later in the night and son 2 rounded out our family's karaoke contribution with a stab at RESPECT by Aretha Franklin. Yes, I was surprised.
I was also proud. Proud that they are not afraid or inhibited to have fun. Proud that they are comfortable in who they are. Proud that they enjoyed this special family time to the fullest.
It truly was a great night. I think Grandma enjoyed herself immensly as I did. It really was a HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
Tuesday, August 30, 2005
Pickin' and Grinnin' (More Memories)
My cousin, Lynn, reminded me that Hee Haw was part of our family TV watching...when we went to our Grandparents' house on Sundays. I think she is right. This dredged up more memories for me.
In a conversation with a "very young" teacher at work today I found out she was BORN in 1982...I know that it seems like a long time ago...but it's not, really. So I said, "Have you ever listened to a record player? Or seen an 8 track tape?" She said, "Yeah, I saw an 8 track tape in HISTORY class!!" I snarled!!
More memories from my childhood:
* Flipper the bottle-nosed dolphin
* Wanting a Mrs. Beasley doll
* Hippity-Hop
* Watching The Brady Bunch and The Partridge Family
* Listening to 45's....And speaking of 45's:
* Owning American Pie which took BOTH sides of the 45 to play
* Playing "Ghost in the Graveyard" until very late at night during the summers
* Magic Eight Balls
* Casey Kasem's Radio Countdown every Saturday
* Chatty Cathy
* Operation Board Game
* Sonny and Cher (with Chastity) TV Show
* Tony Orlando and Dawn TV Show
* Mac Davis TV Show
* Glenn Campbell TV Show
And probably the funniest TV show of all....
* The Carol Burnett Show (and Mrs. a-Wiggins)
Thanks, Lynn, for helping me go back a bit more today!!
In a conversation with a "very young" teacher at work today I found out she was BORN in 1982...I know that it seems like a long time ago...but it's not, really. So I said, "Have you ever listened to a record player? Or seen an 8 track tape?" She said, "Yeah, I saw an 8 track tape in HISTORY class!!" I snarled!!
More memories from my childhood:
* Flipper the bottle-nosed dolphin
* Wanting a Mrs. Beasley doll
* Hippity-Hop
* Watching The Brady Bunch and The Partridge Family
* Listening to 45's....And speaking of 45's:
* Owning American Pie which took BOTH sides of the 45 to play
* Playing "Ghost in the Graveyard" until very late at night during the summers
* Magic Eight Balls
* Casey Kasem's Radio Countdown every Saturday
* Chatty Cathy
* Operation Board Game
* Sonny and Cher (with Chastity) TV Show
* Tony Orlando and Dawn TV Show
* Mac Davis TV Show
* Glenn Campbell TV Show
And probably the funniest TV show of all....
* The Carol Burnett Show (and Mrs. a-Wiggins)
Thanks, Lynn, for helping me go back a bit more today!!
Saturday, August 27, 2005
A Flashback Moment
Tonight I am having a flashback moment. I am sitting with my ds 4 (who is 6) on the couch while he watches a video of the old TV series "Lassie". His brother, son 3, is sprawled across the floor with his chin resting on the elbows. Suddenly I picture myself laying on the floor of my Grandparent's home on Sunday evenings with the rest of my cousins waiting to know that our favorite canine is OK. And we all chewed Teaberry gum that Grandpa gave us.
And memories flood my soul:
I remember trying to learn to blow a bubble with that gum.
I remember getting excited when Tinkerbell would fly across the screen and announce the start of another Wonderful World of Disney
I remember waiting for Lawrence Welk to end so we could watch "the good stuff"
I remember the porch
I remember lightning bugs
I remember picking dandelions and thinking they were roses
I remember watching lightning dance across the sky
I remember the swing
I remember the aluminum cups that kept water so cold
I remember endless hours playing and pretending surrounded by cousins, aunts and uncles that I loved dearly
And tonight I find myself hoping that my own children have memories that will take them on a similar journey someday.
Who knows? Maybe sons 3 and 4 will recall watching that "old fashioned video" with their Mom on a quiet Saturday night.
And memories flood my soul:
I remember trying to learn to blow a bubble with that gum.
I remember getting excited when Tinkerbell would fly across the screen and announce the start of another Wonderful World of Disney
I remember waiting for Lawrence Welk to end so we could watch "the good stuff"
I remember the porch
I remember lightning bugs
I remember picking dandelions and thinking they were roses
I remember watching lightning dance across the sky
I remember the swing
I remember the aluminum cups that kept water so cold
I remember endless hours playing and pretending surrounded by cousins, aunts and uncles that I loved dearly
And tonight I find myself hoping that my own children have memories that will take them on a similar journey someday.
Who knows? Maybe sons 3 and 4 will recall watching that "old fashioned video" with their Mom on a quiet Saturday night.
Rigor, Relevance and Professionalism
My brother sent an email to let me know that I spelled "relevant" wrong in my blog about my dh on 8/15. He was right...and now it is fixed...along with the word "meaningful" which he didn't catch in his brief editing this afternoon.
As I fixed the word "relevant" I thought of how much I have been hearing it lately. Everytime I have a education conversation it seems that it comes up coupled with the word "rigor". This seems to be the new mantra in education. It requires that all teachers strive to make their instructional delivery both rigorous and relevant for all students.
This week in a conversation with a frustrated teacher, she noted that she didn't think she was being treated as a professional. She feels she is being asked to write down "every breath she is going to take" in her lesson plans. I reflected on this for a moment and tried to help her see that it is a new day in education.
I am now required to account for every hour in my day to the state department of education each week. I have not once thought that this meant I was not a professional. In fact, in many ways, it feels the opposite. They are valuing reading teachers right now and they want to make sure that our jobs help bring this rigor and relevance to the schools in which we work.
When we ask a teacher to document their instructional delivery and be accountable to it, I think kids win. In my own informal observations, it is often those that are mediocre at best who yell the loudest about this. Is accountability wrong? I don't think so. Will rigor and relevance happen without it? In most cases, no.
I guess it comes down to this----in my opinion:
accountability + rigor + relevance = professionalism
As I fixed the word "relevant" I thought of how much I have been hearing it lately. Everytime I have a education conversation it seems that it comes up coupled with the word "rigor". This seems to be the new mantra in education. It requires that all teachers strive to make their instructional delivery both rigorous and relevant for all students.
This week in a conversation with a frustrated teacher, she noted that she didn't think she was being treated as a professional. She feels she is being asked to write down "every breath she is going to take" in her lesson plans. I reflected on this for a moment and tried to help her see that it is a new day in education.
I am now required to account for every hour in my day to the state department of education each week. I have not once thought that this meant I was not a professional. In fact, in many ways, it feels the opposite. They are valuing reading teachers right now and they want to make sure that our jobs help bring this rigor and relevance to the schools in which we work.
When we ask a teacher to document their instructional delivery and be accountable to it, I think kids win. In my own informal observations, it is often those that are mediocre at best who yell the loudest about this. Is accountability wrong? I don't think so. Will rigor and relevance happen without it? In most cases, no.
I guess it comes down to this----in my opinion:
accountability + rigor + relevance = professionalism
Friday, August 26, 2005
A Quote to Remember
I have just returned from delivering two workshops in Atlanta with my friend and colleague Mellissa. She shared this quote with the groups that we worked with:
Readers are plentiful; Thinkers are rare.
This is so very true. If I could just help teachers help kids think deeply about what they read, I would accomplish my goal. I want to help them see that we are living in a new society that requires us to think critically about the text we read.
It sure made me think.
Readers are plentiful; Thinkers are rare.
This is so very true. If I could just help teachers help kids think deeply about what they read, I would accomplish my goal. I want to help them see that we are living in a new society that requires us to think critically about the text we read.
It sure made me think.
Too tired to....
I can honestly say I have been too tired to write this week! Life has definitely been happening and I feel like I have been in a whirlwind of activity.
Son 1 finally got his senior pictures taken last night. Son 2 is having his first soccer game tomorrow. Son 3 sewed his first pillow this week. Son 4 finished one FULL week of homework (thanks Grandma!). I drove to Atlanta for three days earlier in the week and have had literally back to back meetings ever since my return to town.
All of the activity this week brought was important. It was valuable and helped us and others...but it was draining for me. In July I told my friends, "If I get through July, things will slow down." Now I am saying, "If I get through August, things will slow down..." But they won't. Not unless I make them slow down. It means prioritizing. It means saying "no" once in a while. And it means being willing to skip some things I might otherwise deem important (which takes me right back to prioritizing).
Tonight, I am vegging. I am going to just stop and rest. I'll start prioritizing tomorrow.
Son 1 finally got his senior pictures taken last night. Son 2 is having his first soccer game tomorrow. Son 3 sewed his first pillow this week. Son 4 finished one FULL week of homework (thanks Grandma!). I drove to Atlanta for three days earlier in the week and have had literally back to back meetings ever since my return to town.
All of the activity this week brought was important. It was valuable and helped us and others...but it was draining for me. In July I told my friends, "If I get through July, things will slow down." Now I am saying, "If I get through August, things will slow down..." But they won't. Not unless I make them slow down. It means prioritizing. It means saying "no" once in a while. And it means being willing to skip some things I might otherwise deem important (which takes me right back to prioritizing).
Tonight, I am vegging. I am going to just stop and rest. I'll start prioritizing tomorrow.
Sunday, August 21, 2005
One additional menopause detail...
It occurred to me this morning that the lady who was throwing the fit at the window was in the box seats that would be equivalent to President Lincoln's. I'm thinking "Peter Pan Man" was probably glad to lock us all away from the rest of the crowd!
Oh well.
Oh well.
Saturday, August 20, 2005
Menopause the Musical
Today I went with a couple of friends to see Menopause the Musical. We weren't five feet in the door before we knew that we WERE in the right place.
Last week, I purchased tickets online. All was well. I got the confirmation email. Now, you know that they never ask you for those things...so I left it at home. We walked into the large lobby of the theater and the room was filled with women of all ages. When we got to the box office, there was a woman in line being quite hormonal with the man tucked safely behind the glass. She was in a fit because her tickets were lost. I thought, "Wow, she really DOES need to be here!"
I walked up to the lady next to the man behind the glass and I told them I was there to pick up my tickets. They said, "There are no tickets, do you have your confirmation number?" Of course, my answer is "no". Inside I was thinking, "They NEVER ask for that!" She said, "I am sorry but I can do nothing without the confirmation number."
Not wanting to throw a fit like the lady next to me, I stepped away from the window and called home. Son 3 answered. I have him get the email...find the number and he dutifully said, "Mom, your tickets were confirmed for 2:00 on the 19th. That was yesterday, Mom." I'm not sure but maybe HE was thinking, "YEAH she definitely belongs at a play about menopause!"
Near tears, I looked at my two friends who had trusted me to get their tickets. I said, "I wouldn't have done that...we work on Fridays at 2:00!" Debra reminded me though that my head has been in a thousand places this week.
I marched up to the window and talked to the man in the Peter Pan shirt who had just finished being scolded by the woman. He said, "What's your name?" I told him. In my head, I was repeating, "I will NOT be like that lady! I will NOT be like that lady!" And truthfully I did pretty well until he said, "I found your tickets, they were for YESTERDAY at 2:00!" I swallowed hard and said, "Well, what can you do about it?" Just like it was his mistake. I was wondering if he was glad that this show that has been held over several times since May is ending tomorrow.
At first he said, "Nothing." But, in a short instance, he said, "Wait a minute. I can give you a box seat." I am sure my face told all..."a box seat?" My mind was thinking, the only box seats I know of are the ones like President Lincoln was sitting in when he was assassinated or the multi-thousand dollar ones at the football stadium. I said, "I'll take them."
We walked up to the second floor and, sure enough, we were escorted through the exclusive door to the "box seats" right up on top of the stage....picture the pictures you have seen of Ford's theater and we were in the box directly across from where Lincoln was sitting.
It was as if it was our own performance. And we enjoyed every minute of it. From "Change, Change, Change," sung to the tune of "Chain of Fools" to "My Husband Sleeps Tonight" sung to the tune of "The Lion Sleeps Tonight." It was great fun....and a reality check at the same time. See, I thought I'd be going to see about something I have watched OTHER women go through and that I'd experience some day in the future. I guess my ticket-buying experience drives home the reality that "someday might be closer than I think!"
Last week, I purchased tickets online. All was well. I got the confirmation email. Now, you know that they never ask you for those things...so I left it at home. We walked into the large lobby of the theater and the room was filled with women of all ages. When we got to the box office, there was a woman in line being quite hormonal with the man tucked safely behind the glass. She was in a fit because her tickets were lost. I thought, "Wow, she really DOES need to be here!"
I walked up to the lady next to the man behind the glass and I told them I was there to pick up my tickets. They said, "There are no tickets, do you have your confirmation number?" Of course, my answer is "no". Inside I was thinking, "They NEVER ask for that!" She said, "I am sorry but I can do nothing without the confirmation number."
Not wanting to throw a fit like the lady next to me, I stepped away from the window and called home. Son 3 answered. I have him get the email...find the number and he dutifully said, "Mom, your tickets were confirmed for 2:00 on the 19th. That was yesterday, Mom." I'm not sure but maybe HE was thinking, "YEAH she definitely belongs at a play about menopause!"
Near tears, I looked at my two friends who had trusted me to get their tickets. I said, "I wouldn't have done that...we work on Fridays at 2:00!" Debra reminded me though that my head has been in a thousand places this week.
I marched up to the window and talked to the man in the Peter Pan shirt who had just finished being scolded by the woman. He said, "What's your name?" I told him. In my head, I was repeating, "I will NOT be like that lady! I will NOT be like that lady!" And truthfully I did pretty well until he said, "I found your tickets, they were for YESTERDAY at 2:00!" I swallowed hard and said, "Well, what can you do about it?" Just like it was his mistake. I was wondering if he was glad that this show that has been held over several times since May is ending tomorrow.
At first he said, "Nothing." But, in a short instance, he said, "Wait a minute. I can give you a box seat." I am sure my face told all..."a box seat?" My mind was thinking, the only box seats I know of are the ones like President Lincoln was sitting in when he was assassinated or the multi-thousand dollar ones at the football stadium. I said, "I'll take them."
We walked up to the second floor and, sure enough, we were escorted through the exclusive door to the "box seats" right up on top of the stage....picture the pictures you have seen of Ford's theater and we were in the box directly across from where Lincoln was sitting.
It was as if it was our own performance. And we enjoyed every minute of it. From "Change, Change, Change," sung to the tune of "Chain of Fools" to "My Husband Sleeps Tonight" sung to the tune of "The Lion Sleeps Tonight." It was great fun....and a reality check at the same time. See, I thought I'd be going to see about something I have watched OTHER women go through and that I'd experience some day in the future. I guess my ticket-buying experience drives home the reality that "someday might be closer than I think!"
Friday, August 19, 2005
A Beautiful Thought
My cousin, Lynn, has joined the blogging world. What a beautiful thought she has on her blog about Seeking Thin Spaces. I have included her link in my "Blogs I Read" section. Welcome Lynn!!
Wednesday, August 17, 2005
Lessons Learned/Lessons Shared
On my way home from work tonight, I called in. I have said before any Mom of boys will totally understand this phone call. It's kind of the "fair warning" signal that all had better be well in "x" amount of minutes. It's also a chance for them to "fess up" to anything that might need "fessing". Anyway, I called.
DS 1 answered the phone. He told me all was well. Then he said, "I am having DS 3 do his homework. I told him he needed to finish it before he got on the computer." Now, I admit that this son (1) is often called my husband's younger twin, but I wasn't sure I was hearing him right. I said, "YOU what?" And he repeated himself. This time he followed up with "Mom, I told him that he needs to not get into the bad habits I did in middle school."
Well...besides being almost totally speechless and wanting to stop and shout "Hallelujah!"...I told him "thank you".
So, I walked in the calm and quiet house with ds 3 working diligently on his homework while son 1 was working in his room. He called me later tonight when I was doing the Wednesday night soccer run (for son 2) and I said, "with the price of gas, I hate driving the 20 minutes back home to just turn around and come back 20 minutes later....but your brother (son 4) has to do his homework." He confidently said, "What does he need to do?" I said, "Well, he needs to read four books." He replied, "I DO know how to read, he'll be fine, I'll get him to bed for you."
I, again, couldn't believe my ears. It's amazing watching them grow and mature into young adults. This one could have chosen a different path, but he hasn't. Life for him (as he mentioned above) has not always been easy. Yet he is maturing and passing on the lessons he learned during those middle school years.
I guess that really is what it's all about. What we learn, we need to share. Thanks son 1 for sharing with your brothers tonight.
DS 1 answered the phone. He told me all was well. Then he said, "I am having DS 3 do his homework. I told him he needed to finish it before he got on the computer." Now, I admit that this son (1) is often called my husband's younger twin, but I wasn't sure I was hearing him right. I said, "YOU what?" And he repeated himself. This time he followed up with "Mom, I told him that he needs to not get into the bad habits I did in middle school."
Well...besides being almost totally speechless and wanting to stop and shout "Hallelujah!"...I told him "thank you".
So, I walked in the calm and quiet house with ds 3 working diligently on his homework while son 1 was working in his room. He called me later tonight when I was doing the Wednesday night soccer run (for son 2) and I said, "with the price of gas, I hate driving the 20 minutes back home to just turn around and come back 20 minutes later....but your brother (son 4) has to do his homework." He confidently said, "What does he need to do?" I said, "Well, he needs to read four books." He replied, "I DO know how to read, he'll be fine, I'll get him to bed for you."
I, again, couldn't believe my ears. It's amazing watching them grow and mature into young adults. This one could have chosen a different path, but he hasn't. Life for him (as he mentioned above) has not always been easy. Yet he is maturing and passing on the lessons he learned during those middle school years.
I guess that really is what it's all about. What we learn, we need to share. Thanks son 1 for sharing with your brothers tonight.
She Got in Trouble Again
Yesterday I got a radio call at work..."Mrs. N, can you go to the cafeteria and meet Mrs. C over an issue?" I answered "OK" and went over there. Now, it is not my job to handle behavior at our school...however I occasionally get called when everyone else is busy. Yesterday was a very busy day.
I walked into the cafeteria and Mrs. C was almost visibly shaking when she asked, "Are you here for me?" I told her "yes" as I glanced down at the discipline referral in her hand and listened to her tell me what happened. The child, Paula (not her real name), was a student that I had in my intensive reading class in third grade. She has been retained twice and therefore SHOULD be in the 7th grade this year. But she's stuck in 5th.
Anyway, she had trouble when they were lining up for lunch. Apparently, she got out of line to get something and when she moved back in...a boy thought she was pushing her way in. Words were exchanged...a push here...a shove there...and Paula dug her nails into his arm while standing her ground. Now, I am NOT saying what she did was OK.
When I took her out of the cafeteria, she had her head held low and tears in her eyes. THIS was the Paula that I know and love. She has always been like this...ever since she was in Kindergarten. I remember hearing her teacher say her name over and over again, "Paula do this...." "Paula do that...." "Paula put your hands down..." "No, Paula!" She always makes these rash decisions then shows great (and very real) remorse.
By the time I had her in third grade, she settled down some. She was frustrated, however, because she was doing third grade for the third time (stupid Florida law). But she really excelled in my class. She rose above it and passed the "test"...she gained self esteem and confidence beyond what I had seen before. She grew. She was less physical and more focused most of the time.
Back to yesterday: As we sat down outside to talk, she looked at me and said, "You know me, Mrs. N., I am a "fast acter" and when I get mad, I'm gonna' be physical. Plus that he pushed and pinched me!" I said, "Yes, I know that...but everytime you make that response, you always feel sorry when it is over, right?" She said, "I know, I know, I need to think before I act." I said, "exactly". I told her how I even sometimes make those decisions that I wish I didn't...you know, the words you wish you could take back?
Now, I know that Mrs. C. wanted her to go straight to detention. But, in my opinion, grace is not just for churches. It is only the 7th day of school. She deserved to say her piece. She deserved to be heard. She also showed remorse...and character... as she admitted her fault in this whole thing. She talked with the boy (with me present) and I think all is well between them.
Plus that, I can't imagine being in a fifth grade class with a bunch of kids who are supposed to be in seventh and lining up in a very small space....It must be hard. It's not just bodies, it's also hormones. I'm sure this is not the last bad decision she'll make this year. I just hope that being heard, and knowing that there is an adult that cares for her and her decisions, will help her stop being "fast acting" and to "think before she acts".
It's really a lesson we all could use occasionally.
I walked into the cafeteria and Mrs. C was almost visibly shaking when she asked, "Are you here for me?" I told her "yes" as I glanced down at the discipline referral in her hand and listened to her tell me what happened. The child, Paula (not her real name), was a student that I had in my intensive reading class in third grade. She has been retained twice and therefore SHOULD be in the 7th grade this year. But she's stuck in 5th.
Anyway, she had trouble when they were lining up for lunch. Apparently, she got out of line to get something and when she moved back in...a boy thought she was pushing her way in. Words were exchanged...a push here...a shove there...and Paula dug her nails into his arm while standing her ground. Now, I am NOT saying what she did was OK.
When I took her out of the cafeteria, she had her head held low and tears in her eyes. THIS was the Paula that I know and love. She has always been like this...ever since she was in Kindergarten. I remember hearing her teacher say her name over and over again, "Paula do this...." "Paula do that...." "Paula put your hands down..." "No, Paula!" She always makes these rash decisions then shows great (and very real) remorse.
By the time I had her in third grade, she settled down some. She was frustrated, however, because she was doing third grade for the third time (stupid Florida law). But she really excelled in my class. She rose above it and passed the "test"...she gained self esteem and confidence beyond what I had seen before. She grew. She was less physical and more focused most of the time.
Back to yesterday: As we sat down outside to talk, she looked at me and said, "You know me, Mrs. N., I am a "fast acter" and when I get mad, I'm gonna' be physical. Plus that he pushed and pinched me!" I said, "Yes, I know that...but everytime you make that response, you always feel sorry when it is over, right?" She said, "I know, I know, I need to think before I act." I said, "exactly". I told her how I even sometimes make those decisions that I wish I didn't...you know, the words you wish you could take back?
Now, I know that Mrs. C. wanted her to go straight to detention. But, in my opinion, grace is not just for churches. It is only the 7th day of school. She deserved to say her piece. She deserved to be heard. She also showed remorse...and character... as she admitted her fault in this whole thing. She talked with the boy (with me present) and I think all is well between them.
Plus that, I can't imagine being in a fifth grade class with a bunch of kids who are supposed to be in seventh and lining up in a very small space....It must be hard. It's not just bodies, it's also hormones. I'm sure this is not the last bad decision she'll make this year. I just hope that being heard, and knowing that there is an adult that cares for her and her decisions, will help her stop being "fast acting" and to "think before she acts".
It's really a lesson we all could use occasionally.
Tuesday, August 16, 2005
Teachers and Learning
Why is it that some teachers think that once they have entered the classroom, they know it all? I can't stand this. Everyday when I work with kids and in education, I realize how LITTLE I know and how much I have to learn. Yet, some people seem to think they are the epitome of teaching and learning and they have it all "figured out".
I once heard a presenter say, "Would you go to a dentist who had been using the same drill for 30 years?" Of course, our answer is "NO WAY!" Yet, we have teachers who have been using the same lesson plans for just about that long.
It's a new day in education. There is accountability that is beyond what any of us have experienced. I now have to send in an accounting of my daily activity (hour by hour) to the state department of education. This is because of the type of job I hold, not because I am a teacher.
When I started teaching 19 years ago, we had to turn in lesson plans "occasionally"...now we are telling teachers what elements must be present in their lesson plans. The "little boxes" that we used to write in simply aren't enough. It's not OK to be a page turner anymore. Page turning (doing the next lesson because it is "next") is for those teachers who DON'T know their kids. We have to teach KIDS and not programs! The "I-know-it-all" people that I know...teach programs. They really are not about kids.
I know that the accountability is about kids (even though some of my colleagues may disagree). If I went to a dentist who had been using the same drill for 30 years, I could make the decision to not go there again. Our kids, however, cannot make such decisions. Parents can. But they don't always. Some kids end up biding time in a room with a page turner. It could be any year, any state, anyplace. It really has nothing to do with who is sitting in the chairs of our classrooms.
It's time for a change. It's time to hold "feet to fire" and NOT let up until every kid has a quality teacher who knows him or her as a person and a learner.
I've got to go to work now, it's time to fill those cavities!
I once heard a presenter say, "Would you go to a dentist who had been using the same drill for 30 years?" Of course, our answer is "NO WAY!" Yet, we have teachers who have been using the same lesson plans for just about that long.
It's a new day in education. There is accountability that is beyond what any of us have experienced. I now have to send in an accounting of my daily activity (hour by hour) to the state department of education. This is because of the type of job I hold, not because I am a teacher.
When I started teaching 19 years ago, we had to turn in lesson plans "occasionally"...now we are telling teachers what elements must be present in their lesson plans. The "little boxes" that we used to write in simply aren't enough. It's not OK to be a page turner anymore. Page turning (doing the next lesson because it is "next") is for those teachers who DON'T know their kids. We have to teach KIDS and not programs! The "I-know-it-all" people that I know...teach programs. They really are not about kids.
I know that the accountability is about kids (even though some of my colleagues may disagree). If I went to a dentist who had been using the same drill for 30 years, I could make the decision to not go there again. Our kids, however, cannot make such decisions. Parents can. But they don't always. Some kids end up biding time in a room with a page turner. It could be any year, any state, anyplace. It really has nothing to do with who is sitting in the chairs of our classrooms.
It's time for a change. It's time to hold "feet to fire" and NOT let up until every kid has a quality teacher who knows him or her as a person and a learner.
I've got to go to work now, it's time to fill those cavities!
Monday, August 15, 2005
World's Best Husband
I am married to one of the best husbands in the world! Today, we have been married for 18 years. I can't always say it has been roses...I am sure most married couples would say this. I CAN say that I KNOW God meant for us to be together. I also know that those storms that we have weathered in the past have brought us to a place of wonderful "wedded bliss" beyond my wildest dreams. And in many ways, I wouldn't trade any of those years. It is those experiences that brought us to a greater understanding of who we are and who we are supposed to be.
I know that I would not be where I am today without this man. He has encouraged me to reach for my dreams. And because of this, I have accomplished and experienced more than I could have imagined. He has given me the strength to say, "I think I can, I think I can..." while he is whispering in my ear, "I KNOW you can, I KNOW you can!" For this, I am so thankful.
And, of course, without him we would not have our four wonderful children. They are such a blessing to us. We watch them grow and are amazed at the young men they are becoming. I know much of that is due to his example of being a wonderful husband and father. I pray that they will be a blessing to their wives and children someday.
I am so proud of my husband. I don't tell him often enough just how much I appreciate all he does for us and for others. He gives tirelessly. He provides for us. He even cooks for us most of the time (thank goodness---because this is NOT my gift)!! But he also gives to the world around us. He works with others helping them create and establish churches that are relevant and meaningful to today's culture. He knows that by working with these places, he may be helping someone he never meets to have hope and faith.
God knew just what he was doing when he gave me this gift 18 years ago and for that, I will always be eternally grateful. I am looking forward with great anticipation to what the next 18 years will bring.
Happy Anniversary, Hon. I love you!!
I know that I would not be where I am today without this man. He has encouraged me to reach for my dreams. And because of this, I have accomplished and experienced more than I could have imagined. He has given me the strength to say, "I think I can, I think I can..." while he is whispering in my ear, "I KNOW you can, I KNOW you can!" For this, I am so thankful.
And, of course, without him we would not have our four wonderful children. They are such a blessing to us. We watch them grow and are amazed at the young men they are becoming. I know much of that is due to his example of being a wonderful husband and father. I pray that they will be a blessing to their wives and children someday.
I am so proud of my husband. I don't tell him often enough just how much I appreciate all he does for us and for others. He gives tirelessly. He provides for us. He even cooks for us most of the time (thank goodness---because this is NOT my gift)!! But he also gives to the world around us. He works with others helping them create and establish churches that are relevant and meaningful to today's culture. He knows that by working with these places, he may be helping someone he never meets to have hope and faith.
God knew just what he was doing when he gave me this gift 18 years ago and for that, I will always be eternally grateful. I am looking forward with great anticipation to what the next 18 years will bring.
Happy Anniversary, Hon. I love you!!
Sunday, August 14, 2005
Walkin' After Midnight
Last night my Father-in-law and I went to see Always...Patsy presented by our local dinner theater. This is the story of Patsy Cline and her friend Louise and includes about 24 of Patsy's songs. It really was a fun evening.
It seems that we have enjoyed our common appreciation for country music since I started dating his son 20 years ago. My dh has NO tolerance (much less appreciation) for country twang music. It simply doesn't appeal to him. I, on the other hand, was raised around it and enjoy it. My FIL and I connected early on in this area as I went to the hoedown gospel hour with him while we visited our local Christian retreat center.
Last night, we put one more notch in our "love of country music" belt. He called me this morning to say that one of the things that he enjoyed was being able to "connect with his mother" a bit. His Mom...it seems....wore the same belt that we now wear. She shared this love with her sons because her husband didn't really care for it (hmmm????I am really wondering about those genes that are passed down through generations!) Anyway, I think great memories came flooding back for my FIL (and for me). He even shared a memory of going to the Ryman Auditorium with his family as a kid to see the Grand Ole Opry and then driving all the way back to St. Louis after the show was over!
Now I HAD to get some perspective on this trip. Today I mapquested from the Ryman Auditorium in Nashville, TN to St. Louis and mapquest says this trip is 307 miles. Today it would take 4 hours and 49 minutes to get there. I am not sure what interstates did or did not exist at this time. I know that cars were slower...so I suspect that this could have taken upwards of 6 hours.
Memories also came flooding back to me. Patsy died before I was born...but I am no stranger to her music or the genre. I have been to the Grand Ole Opry a few times with my family. I love it. I know most of her songs as well as other oldie but goodies that you would hear there because of the times we spent there.
Back to my perspective of FIL's experience however, if you stay until the end, you are there until about 11:00pm. If you drove back to St. Louis after that, you'd be looking at driving until 6:00am. WOW...that's pretty impressive! Now, I know another reason that country music is a memory for my FIL.
We didn't really "Walk after midnight" last night (although we sang along with her)...but we DID have a wonderful time revisiting and connecting with this legendary singer and the country music that we both love. Thanks for this memory....it's a keeper!
It seems that we have enjoyed our common appreciation for country music since I started dating his son 20 years ago. My dh has NO tolerance (much less appreciation) for country twang music. It simply doesn't appeal to him. I, on the other hand, was raised around it and enjoy it. My FIL and I connected early on in this area as I went to the hoedown gospel hour with him while we visited our local Christian retreat center.
Last night, we put one more notch in our "love of country music" belt. He called me this morning to say that one of the things that he enjoyed was being able to "connect with his mother" a bit. His Mom...it seems....wore the same belt that we now wear. She shared this love with her sons because her husband didn't really care for it (hmmm????I am really wondering about those genes that are passed down through generations!) Anyway, I think great memories came flooding back for my FIL (and for me). He even shared a memory of going to the Ryman Auditorium with his family as a kid to see the Grand Ole Opry and then driving all the way back to St. Louis after the show was over!
Now I HAD to get some perspective on this trip. Today I mapquested from the Ryman Auditorium in Nashville, TN to St. Louis and mapquest says this trip is 307 miles. Today it would take 4 hours and 49 minutes to get there. I am not sure what interstates did or did not exist at this time. I know that cars were slower...so I suspect that this could have taken upwards of 6 hours.
Memories also came flooding back to me. Patsy died before I was born...but I am no stranger to her music or the genre. I have been to the Grand Ole Opry a few times with my family. I love it. I know most of her songs as well as other oldie but goodies that you would hear there because of the times we spent there.
Back to my perspective of FIL's experience however, if you stay until the end, you are there until about 11:00pm. If you drove back to St. Louis after that, you'd be looking at driving until 6:00am. WOW...that's pretty impressive! Now, I know another reason that country music is a memory for my FIL.
We didn't really "Walk after midnight" last night (although we sang along with her)...but we DID have a wonderful time revisiting and connecting with this legendary singer and the country music that we both love. Thanks for this memory....it's a keeper!
Becoming a Teacher
Yesterday I stumbled on a new blog from a teacher. It really was quite interesting as it is being featured as the Weekly Blog at msn. She has two very important questions on her blog today and I decided that I am going to answer them as well.
1. Why did I decide to become a teacher?
On August 3rd, I wrote a little about someone trying to sabotage my decision to become a teacher. There is a quote out in the world that says, "Those who can't...teach". I hate that thing. Admittedly, though, that is EXACTLY how I "fell" into teaching as a profession. I started out to get a degree in Psychology. Didn't do so well in class #1 and the advisor said, "You better switch majors." He urged me to take "Intro. to Education".
This course, Intro. to Ed., was taught by one of the BEST teachers/professors I ever had. She really CARED about teaching and learning. And most importantly, she cared about kids. Everyday it seemed she would tell us stories about classrooms, kids, learning, and teachers who were making a significant impact on the lives of those they taught. I was hooked. I wanted to be that kind of person.
I really wasn't the best student at that time. I didn't know how to be the best student. The professor who told me to "get out" and "you'll never make it as a teacher" (see Aug. 3rd) just three-and-a-half years later watched me in my college classes and made this decision. I was quiet, didn't contribute much, and make just OK grades. The professor who told me with confidence, "She doesn't know what she is talking about." had seen me with kids. She had observed my teaching.
After wrestling with these two opinions of me and my future, I dove in. I am so glad that I did. I know it is exactly what I am supposed to be doing. Each and every day I get to live out my own passion for helping people learn and grow. It is so rewarding.
2. What do I teach?
Now, I get to teach adults AND kids. This is really exciting to me. I have been able to fine tune my teaching focus a bit more and have found that my true passion is teaching language arts. I am a Literacy Coach in a Title One elementary school (72% free and reduced lunch). I love what I do. I work with great people who share a vision for teaching well...and I get to help them achieve this goal. I also get to work with kids who find learning tough...it's so exciting to see the light go on when they finally "get it".
3. What do I do when it's tough?
I am adding this question to Ariana's list of questions. There are times when it is hard and tiring. I have grown weary at points along my 19 year journey. I have to stop and revisit my "calling". I have to get keenly focused on kids and realize that it's all about them. I have to step back, get introspective, look at my practice, and ask myself, "Am I doing the best I can?" and "Is there something else I should be doing?"
Yes, I really believe that this is the greatest profession. I am hoping that we are seeing shifts in opinions about those who decide to enter it. And I hope that anyone who is considering it will ask themselves the important "why do I want to do this" question before entering the classroom.
Hopefully the answer will be "I'm called to it." or "It's in my bones." I believe it's THIS type of passion and conviction that will continue to make a difference in public education.
1. Why did I decide to become a teacher?
On August 3rd, I wrote a little about someone trying to sabotage my decision to become a teacher. There is a quote out in the world that says, "Those who can't...teach". I hate that thing. Admittedly, though, that is EXACTLY how I "fell" into teaching as a profession. I started out to get a degree in Psychology. Didn't do so well in class #1 and the advisor said, "You better switch majors." He urged me to take "Intro. to Education".
This course, Intro. to Ed., was taught by one of the BEST teachers/professors I ever had. She really CARED about teaching and learning. And most importantly, she cared about kids. Everyday it seemed she would tell us stories about classrooms, kids, learning, and teachers who were making a significant impact on the lives of those they taught. I was hooked. I wanted to be that kind of person.
I really wasn't the best student at that time. I didn't know how to be the best student. The professor who told me to "get out" and "you'll never make it as a teacher" (see Aug. 3rd) just three-and-a-half years later watched me in my college classes and made this decision. I was quiet, didn't contribute much, and make just OK grades. The professor who told me with confidence, "She doesn't know what she is talking about." had seen me with kids. She had observed my teaching.
After wrestling with these two opinions of me and my future, I dove in. I am so glad that I did. I know it is exactly what I am supposed to be doing. Each and every day I get to live out my own passion for helping people learn and grow. It is so rewarding.
2. What do I teach?
Now, I get to teach adults AND kids. This is really exciting to me. I have been able to fine tune my teaching focus a bit more and have found that my true passion is teaching language arts. I am a Literacy Coach in a Title One elementary school (72% free and reduced lunch). I love what I do. I work with great people who share a vision for teaching well...and I get to help them achieve this goal. I also get to work with kids who find learning tough...it's so exciting to see the light go on when they finally "get it".
3. What do I do when it's tough?
I am adding this question to Ariana's list of questions. There are times when it is hard and tiring. I have grown weary at points along my 19 year journey. I have to stop and revisit my "calling". I have to get keenly focused on kids and realize that it's all about them. I have to step back, get introspective, look at my practice, and ask myself, "Am I doing the best I can?" and "Is there something else I should be doing?"
Yes, I really believe that this is the greatest profession. I am hoping that we are seeing shifts in opinions about those who decide to enter it. And I hope that anyone who is considering it will ask themselves the important "why do I want to do this" question before entering the classroom.
Hopefully the answer will be "I'm called to it." or "It's in my bones." I believe it's THIS type of passion and conviction that will continue to make a difference in public education.
Saturday, August 13, 2005
Storm over...all is well....
The cleaning storm went extremely well (probably only a category 2 storm vs. the category 4 that it is sometimes)...The news reporter and her camera operator were here for all of about five minutes. NOW I can enjoy the calm AFTER the storm!!
The Calm before the Storm
I spent the morning getting my hair done. The salon I go to is a bit like those you see in Steel Magnolias...conversation is often four or five way. It's small and welcoming and everyone loves seeing the transformation from the time you enter until you leave. Anyway after my visit this morning, I was relaxed and calm.
Then I came home.
I walked into the house and all seemed fine and normal. Then, my darling husband (who is the epitome of calm) announces that our local cable news network will be here by 3:30. HERE? At MY HOUSE??? Admittedly, my first thought was "WHAT did the boys do?????" I have no history that causes me to jump to such a conclusion...it's just how I'm wired.
After I had that moment of shock, dh explains that it's the one year anniversary since our church was devastated from hurricane Charley. One year. We are still cleaning up and repairing the building that was damaged. It seems like forever on most days. The news channel interviewed my husband last year and they are doing the follow up. Of course, last year's interview was done on the CHURCH property (which is 35 miles from our house). So much for my after-salon calm.
Why today? Why here? It's beautiful outside today. It's sunny. There's not a cloud in the sky. Dad has already prepared the boys that the turbo cleaning and picking up will begin. Even though it's quiet and beautiful outside (and really calm), as soon as I finish typing this blog....hurricane MOM will hit at our house as we start to tidy up and get ready for our unexpected visitor. It's not all that different than one year ago when Charley visited...except he TORE up during the storm.
I guess that I'll hope for "calm" and "normal" on another day!
Then I came home.
I walked into the house and all seemed fine and normal. Then, my darling husband (who is the epitome of calm) announces that our local cable news network will be here by 3:30. HERE? At MY HOUSE??? Admittedly, my first thought was "WHAT did the boys do?????" I have no history that causes me to jump to such a conclusion...it's just how I'm wired.
After I had that moment of shock, dh explains that it's the one year anniversary since our church was devastated from hurricane Charley. One year. We are still cleaning up and repairing the building that was damaged. It seems like forever on most days. The news channel interviewed my husband last year and they are doing the follow up. Of course, last year's interview was done on the CHURCH property (which is 35 miles from our house). So much for my after-salon calm.
Why today? Why here? It's beautiful outside today. It's sunny. There's not a cloud in the sky. Dad has already prepared the boys that the turbo cleaning and picking up will begin. Even though it's quiet and beautiful outside (and really calm), as soon as I finish typing this blog....hurricane MOM will hit at our house as we start to tidy up and get ready for our unexpected visitor. It's not all that different than one year ago when Charley visited...except he TORE up during the storm.
I guess that I'll hope for "calm" and "normal" on another day!
Thursday, August 11, 2005
Maybe I'm Wrong
Somebody at Bible Study tonight told me that they ARE talking about naming that new planet Serena...maybe son 4 was watching the news that his Mother wasn't??? Who knows for sure???
A New Planet in the Sky??
On the way home tonight, ds 4 and I were having the "I love you _____ much" talk.
I said, "I love you to the moon and back and back to the moon again."
He said, "I love you to the moon and to Mars..."
I said, "I love you to Venus..."
And he quickly replied "I love you to Serena and Jupiter..."
Serena???? I didn't even know he watched tennis!!
I said, "I love you to the moon and back and back to the moon again."
He said, "I love you to the moon and to Mars..."
I said, "I love you to Venus..."
And he quickly replied "I love you to Serena and Jupiter..."
Serena???? I didn't even know he watched tennis!!
Wednesday, August 10, 2005
Mediocrity Makes Me CRAZY!!
I just spent about two hours talking with one of my administrators about an issue at our school site. They (the principal and assistant principal) have expressed their intention to be in classrooms more this year. In an effort to give teachers feedback, they have created a form to fill out during their visits. They feel like those that give 200% don't always get the "atta boys" and "atta girls" that they deserve. And they're right.
Some teachers get very upset about these things. They call the union to see if such a thing is "legal" (which it is). They whine and complain about this type of "new evaluation". Of course, the principal (and assistant principal)has EVERY right (and in my opinion, the responsibility) to see that the teachers in his or her school are teaching the best they can.
The more I think about it, the more I believe that this is really about wanting to be mediocre and not having to "live up" to anyone else's expectations. It seems to often come from those who are biding their time until they are able to leave the classroom. It's sad and it really gets my goat.
I wish that the same people who are so vocal about union issues would put that same energy into teaching our kids the best they can. I am a member of the union---but I really have a problem with some of the things they spend time on. Why can't it be about what's best for kids?
I teach in a title one school (about 72% of our kids are on free or reduced lunch). While we have some parents who really stay on top of what is happening in the classrooms, there are many that don't. It's easy for adequate or mediocre (and even poor) teachers to "hide out" in these schools For the most part, my school is filled with outstanding professionals who are really advocates for kids and learning. And I would allow almost all of my colleagues to teach my own children. However, in most public schools (mine included), you will find a couple of teachers that shouldn't be there. They are tired, they don't want to be there, they don't appear to even like kids, and they are marking time until they can draw their retirement checks. This is just wrong!
In my opinion, if we really want to see that no child is left behind in this country, then it's time to bury mediocrity in our schools. It's time to make sure that EVERY child is receiving an excellent education and that they are being taught by a person who actually WANTS to be there and really LIKES kids. It's time to stop whining and DO something.
Maybe the feedback form of an administrator can begin to help move us in this direction. Maybe it will help those "WOW" teachers realize that they ARE important and valued (and encourage them to stay in the profession). And maybe it will help those who aren't quite "up to snuff" to start rethinking how they do things.
When I think about "highly qualified teachers", I know that every kid deserves one. In my opinion, public education will not be doing its job until every kid has one and mediocrity has been layed in the grave once and for all. I realize it's a "pie in the sky" dream...but often reality starts with a dreamer like me (and my administrators). Anything's possible.
Some teachers get very upset about these things. They call the union to see if such a thing is "legal" (which it is). They whine and complain about this type of "new evaluation". Of course, the principal (and assistant principal)has EVERY right (and in my opinion, the responsibility) to see that the teachers in his or her school are teaching the best they can.
The more I think about it, the more I believe that this is really about wanting to be mediocre and not having to "live up" to anyone else's expectations. It seems to often come from those who are biding their time until they are able to leave the classroom. It's sad and it really gets my goat.
I wish that the same people who are so vocal about union issues would put that same energy into teaching our kids the best they can. I am a member of the union---but I really have a problem with some of the things they spend time on. Why can't it be about what's best for kids?
I teach in a title one school (about 72% of our kids are on free or reduced lunch). While we have some parents who really stay on top of what is happening in the classrooms, there are many that don't. It's easy for adequate or mediocre (and even poor) teachers to "hide out" in these schools For the most part, my school is filled with outstanding professionals who are really advocates for kids and learning. And I would allow almost all of my colleagues to teach my own children. However, in most public schools (mine included), you will find a couple of teachers that shouldn't be there. They are tired, they don't want to be there, they don't appear to even like kids, and they are marking time until they can draw their retirement checks. This is just wrong!
In my opinion, if we really want to see that no child is left behind in this country, then it's time to bury mediocrity in our schools. It's time to make sure that EVERY child is receiving an excellent education and that they are being taught by a person who actually WANTS to be there and really LIKES kids. It's time to stop whining and DO something.
Maybe the feedback form of an administrator can begin to help move us in this direction. Maybe it will help those "WOW" teachers realize that they ARE important and valued (and encourage them to stay in the profession). And maybe it will help those who aren't quite "up to snuff" to start rethinking how they do things.
When I think about "highly qualified teachers", I know that every kid deserves one. In my opinion, public education will not be doing its job until every kid has one and mediocrity has been layed in the grave once and for all. I realize it's a "pie in the sky" dream...but often reality starts with a dreamer like me (and my administrators). Anything's possible.
Tuesday, August 09, 2005
All of Life's a Blog...
My kids and my in-laws read my blogs. They have all commented at one time or another about the blogs that I have written since I have been on this journey. The other day I wrote about son 2 noticing that all of life could end up in blogs....tonight, my father-in-law joined in the game. He was at my house dropping off son 2 (the observant one) and bringing some of "Grandma's Kitchen" over for us to eat (THAT'S a whole blog for another day).
Anyway, FIL sat down to ask how school was going and son 4 proceeded to tell us all that this was "the worst day of his life". Of course we are all wondering how bad the worst day of a 6-year-old's life could be. He proceeds to tell us that it is over a girlfriend...and some kids teasing him about it. He and some other kids had to stand out at recess for 10 minutes today because they were loud in the lunchroom talking about this "girlfriend" and my son. It's ONLY day 2 of first grade (pray for me, pray really hard)!! He's already had to stand on a time out and he is "having the worst day of his WHOLE life!"
My FIL and son 2 said they weren't quite sure how I'd approach this one in the blog world. I think it's true that perspective is everything. When you are six, losing some of recess, the teasing of friends, and getting a "yellow cup" at lunch can be awful. Through our eyes, however, we think "life should be so rough for all of us." In fact, some days I long for those "simpler times".
I remember first grade though. I even remember having to sit on a chair in the corner once in Mrs. Hudson's class (no telling why). I am pretty sure that might have seemed like the "worst day of my life" up until that point. I do know it was humiliating and especially because it was a teacher I loved! Son 4 has already told me that he loves his teacher. He told me yesterday that he'd like to have her for first, second, third, fourth and "if possible" fifth grade. So, yes, this might have been the "worst day of his life".
Today's lesson?
Whether we are six or sixty, one thing is for sure, tomorrow is another day and hopefully it WILL be better!
Anyway, FIL sat down to ask how school was going and son 4 proceeded to tell us all that this was "the worst day of his life". Of course we are all wondering how bad the worst day of a 6-year-old's life could be. He proceeds to tell us that it is over a girlfriend...and some kids teasing him about it. He and some other kids had to stand out at recess for 10 minutes today because they were loud in the lunchroom talking about this "girlfriend" and my son. It's ONLY day 2 of first grade (pray for me, pray really hard)!! He's already had to stand on a time out and he is "having the worst day of his WHOLE life!"
My FIL and son 2 said they weren't quite sure how I'd approach this one in the blog world. I think it's true that perspective is everything. When you are six, losing some of recess, the teasing of friends, and getting a "yellow cup" at lunch can be awful. Through our eyes, however, we think "life should be so rough for all of us." In fact, some days I long for those "simpler times".
I remember first grade though. I even remember having to sit on a chair in the corner once in Mrs. Hudson's class (no telling why). I am pretty sure that might have seemed like the "worst day of my life" up until that point. I do know it was humiliating and especially because it was a teacher I loved! Son 4 has already told me that he loves his teacher. He told me yesterday that he'd like to have her for first, second, third, fourth and "if possible" fifth grade. So, yes, this might have been the "worst day of his life".
Today's lesson?
Whether we are six or sixty, one thing is for sure, tomorrow is another day and hopefully it WILL be better!
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