...wish I had said that

From the mouth of computer aficionado, cs, came this memorable quote:

I've been noticing lately that the more information I put on my computer laptop the heavier it gets.

Better than a $2 tie...much much better

On Father's day I got this as a present from my kids.

Last night, cs and I went and enjoyed! It had been a long, long time since I had attended a rock concert. I must say that this crowd was extremely different than the last time. There were AARP card carriers all around. We fit right in. Everywhere you looked in the crowd of 20,000 there were geriatrics to behold...

It was fifteen minutes short of 3 hours of pure enjoyment. We were rockin' the whole time…right along with Sir Paul Macca. As much as she portends rock to be the bane of classical, cs was even singin' along.

Many thanks to my children for a great Father's day present!

PS: This experience put King Henry to shame.

Consternation

I've revealed what c8's name is for Grandpa. Well, yesterday she started using a familiar one for cs. She called her, Toots, which is FSIL's name for cs.

…hmmmm, which makes me wonder…if c8 has heard that name from FSIL for cs, what name has she been hearing from him for Grandpa?

Cardboard clone

cs' creative juices are flowing again. Necessity is the mother of invention. Just a couple of milk cartons, boxes — saltine, macaroni, Dr Pepper, glue, duct tape and voilà.

Everyone should have an all-in-one place to store their quietbook creation stuff. That's why I came up with this.



Costco sells the same thing (in plastic) for $20…but then again theirs comes with wheels.

Rounding up

cs and I went in Sunday for annual tithing settlement. The Bishop asked cs how long she had been president of the society of relief.

cs: It'll be three years October.

Bishop: This past October? (with a puzzled look on his face).

cs: No.

The Bishop, still looked confused. So, I decide to help decode for him.

ld: Rounding up, I believe she means that it will be 3 years, 10 months from now. (October 2009).

cs looks at both of us like, What did I just say?

Sign of success

It's true.

True to her word. cs participated in the Orem 10K Turkey trot and completed it in under an hour. Good job!

Lub of my life

It appears that the "happiness" counter above has a mind of it's own.

Today is the day! It is officially 29 years of bliss for me and cs!

OXOXOX,
ld

What keeps me sane

cs: Did you know that if you had sprayed WD-40 on your keyboard it would have fixed it?

ld: What do you mean?

cs: It says that if your keys are stuck to spray WD-40 on them and it will unstick them.

ld: My keys weren't sticking. They just didn't work. Please do me a favor and don't ever try that on my keyboard.

cs: Wow, did you know that if your wedding ring is stuck you can use WD-40 and it will take it off?

ld: Your finger?

cs: No, your wedding ring.

ld: What are you looking at? Some website for WD-40?

cs: No, it's a website for duct tape.

Go figure.

Life's too short to ration your candy

Pump up the volume!

…and yes, Queenie, you've still got it.

The eagle has landed…

1 grandchild + 1 granny + 1 children's parade = A cs cardboard masterpiece.

cs' creative juices are flowing again. She just needed a reason to get the spray paint out and hit the dumpsters looking for cardboard to create a float for c8 tomorrow for the Provo Freedom Festival Children's Parade.



Upon seeing me film this, cs responded, Uh huh, uh huh, I've still got it, uh huh, uh huh!

A cs & ld conversation re: c8's 3 friends

c8 spent the night. This morning, (being a good gramps) as cs was holding c8, I grabbed the cow and piglet hand puppets and started to entertain her — c8, not cs. I thought that I was doing a pretty good job because she was smiling and rather amused — once again, c8, not cs.

cs:   Use the "duck". She doesn't want to be entertained by things that you eat. You may not know it, but she has a social conscience.

ld:   I know that life was hard on the farm in Cibola, but on the farm that I was raised — we called these "chickens". No duck that I ever knew had a comb. Wait until FSIL II hears about this. And as far as social conscience goes, what do you think that it will do to her child psyche when she finds out where eggs and chicken nuggets come from?

In Zion…again

cs and I travelled to Zion once more — for a work conference. Driving down was a compromise of: 3 parts silence and 1 part listening to the finest tunes ever on the iPod. (She called it, Garbage! Did I ever tell you that there are 5 songs that I can't stand? Billy Joel's Piano Man, the Beatles' Fool on the Hill…and whatever song was playing next…)

On the way there we made the obligatory stop in Beaver at the Cache Valley Cheese factory. She got something something chocolate and I got raspberry pecan flavored ice cream cones. And, yes the reason for the stop in the first place…a bag of squeaky cheese. Such a delight!

(Conversation in Beaver)

Someday, when we have time, I need to look for my grandparents.

Are they missing? [Couldn't resist that reply.]

No, they're buried in the cemetery and I've never been.

You've never been to a cemetery?

Yes, I have. I meant the Beaver cemetery.

They've got a cemetery for animals? [You can see that it's hard to have a meaningful conversation when one's tunes are being trashed.]

We dined in St George last night and did some shopping at the Factory Outlet stores. I've got meetings for a half-a-day and then we may do some sight seeing before we head to that other Zion…home.

You're fired!

The words were resoundingly hissed as though they were evoked from the lips of Donald Trump himself.

I was tending baby c8 last night and we were getting along superbly when she started routing around a bit with her mouth — looking for a drink. I tried the pacifier, but to no avail.

I hollered in the next room, Looks like she’s getting hungry.

No, reaction. I mentioned it once more.

Suddenly, the door swung open and cs gave me the word, You’re fired! You’re no longer fit to be her babysitter as she whisked c8 out of the room.

Ouch! That hurt. It's a good thing that I don't wear my feelings on my sleeve.

She doesn’t even play fair…I wonder if c8 feels the same way.

Serious bonding

Yesterday, at 5:30 a.m. the phone rang. It was Bird asking for some help. She had been up all night with c8 and needed to get some sleep. She was asking for cs to come down and help tend because FSIL was going to work and she needed to get some sleep.

So cs said, Yes and volunteered me! I was glad to get to spend some time with c8. I wasn't so glad to get the "mothering" lecture for 15 minutes before I was released to go.

Don't pound on her when you burp her. Remember gentle taps. If you can hear your fingers tapping then that is too hard. You're not pounding on a drum. (Right, like I'm going to pound Iron Butterfly's drum solo of In-A-Gadda-Diva on my grandkid's back.)

Keep her upright for 15 minutes after you feed her. Don't let the bottle drain too fast. Give it to her for a minute then pull it away. Yada, yada, yada.

c8 and I had a great time bonding for half-a-day. (She told me that I was a "natural").

Missing

Blond, mid-aged woman. Very much loved and missed. Last seen a week ago Saturday at the hospital holding a "cute as a bug in a rug" little baby girl. Have seen evidence of her stopping home from time to time to refresh and resupply, but continues to pass "like a ship in the night."

cs, you're a very good mother and granny. (The title fits you well.)

Sharp as a needle

cs was doing some repair on a pair of my britches for me. She asked me to bring her a bar of soap. I asked her why. Thinking that she was going to mark the pants with the soap. (I had seen soap used to trace out a pattern onto new material before, but she was hand-sewing the pants so I couldn't figure out what the soap was for.)

She replied, My needle is dull.

So what good is the soap?

Now mind you, Bird is my witness. cs took the needle and jabbed it two or three times into the bar of soap.

Where did you gain that little nugget of knowledge? Did you google-mine it off of the internet? It is something that Pam teaches in her Home Economics curriculum? Was it an RS tip of the week? Is it something that is analogous to Blythe and the regions round-a-bout? Or did you learn it from Grandma Rosie?

I had never seen this done before. She seem to be getting agitated from my inquiries, but the soap trick must have worked because the needle seemed really sharp as she thrust it at me.

It's amazing the things that can be learned from various sources. Just ask FSIL II. Last week, he learned the cause of his sty…from a very reliable source!

Shame on you

FSIL II got indoctrinated into the family way of playing board games last night with a rousing game of Balderdash.

Everything was going as usual with each of the players knowing beforehand which were cs' and FSIL's answers. (cs' replies were 15 sentences long and FSIL's had something to do with either a Mayan tool or the colonial period.) The two of them were neck to neck in a dead heat for last place.

But the coup de grâce came when a certain person (who was in the lead) got caught cheating.

The question: Who was Ruth Wakefield?

I was the monitor. The answers came in one by one. I was puzzled because one had the correct answer: The inventor of toll house (chocolate chip) cookies.

After I read the choices out loud, in unison they said that there were only 4 choices and that there should be 5. I stated that someone had gotten the answer correct.

Suddenly, Bird threw out an accusitory finger at FSIL II. You were cheating! (Never underestimate the wrath of a pregnant woman.)

He was caught with his Blackberry at his side and Betty on the couch text-messaging the answer to him after she had googled it on the internet. (Megs was supposedly not able to play because she was busy writing a paper for a homework assignment.)

He started stuttering and stammering, but Bird assured him that cheating wasn't his crime. When it comes to playing family games, it's a given that everyone will cheat to win. No, your crime was that you got caught doing it.

Belle Ma

FSIL II calls cs, Belle Ma.

It's supposed to be French and all…I think that she likes it.

But to me, it's said more with a "Swedish" accent and it sounds more like Velma. (I once had an old primary teacher named Velma.)

Oh well, to each their own, but I think that I'll stick to calling her, cs.

Huh?????

As we're sitting around the table having Sunday dinner with Kenzie, Meghan, and Kody, cs proceeds to tell the kids, I'm really glad that your dad put that Firestone thing on my computer.

What was that you said?

I said that I'm glad that you put that Firestone protection on my computer because I was looking at one of the comments on Lacy's blog and a window popped up telling me that it was going to go to a porn sight.

…and that Firestone thingy stopped it.

Wow, I didn't realize that I had mounted wheels onto your computer so that it could run away from unwanted sights. Perhaps you are referring to a "firewall"?

Yeah, whatever. At least it stopped it.

Imitation is the sincerest form

Came home and found this lying on the bed:

How to make my blog as good as ld's.

1) Post pictures as follows:
a) take picture first
b) iPhoto is your friend. Put disc in. Put memory card. Get special thing from Dad. Take out right side of camera w/eject button.
c) have Kenzie help. She has great skills.

I luv ya, cs. Happy Valentine's.
O X o x O X
(Big Hug, Big Kiss, little hug, little kiss, Big Hug, Big Kiss)
ld