The Magic Kingdom, Part 2

Previous entries:

• Intro
• Magic Kingdom: (Part 1)

Frontierland

Frontierland...is an anachronism. It really is. Born in Disneyland from the Westerns craze of the 1950's and lingering nostalgia for the old west (some folks had parents and grandparents from Civil War times when Disneyland first opened), most of the theming for Frontierland has outlived American cultural significance. However, the attractions found in Frontierland mostly still survive because of their inherent quality and popularity.

Frontierland's attractions:

1. Splash Mountain
2. Big Thunder Mountain Railroad
3. Tom Sawyer Island
4. Frontierland Shootin' Arcade
5. Country Bear Jamboree
6. Walt Disney World Railroad

Frontierland is a land waiting for a huge IP. But I'll get to that...

Splash Mountain continues to defy its taboo film origins, and while more and more people have no connection or memory whatsoever of "Song of the South," this ride's popularity grows and grows. Every so often you hear rumors of Disney bringing Song of the South back out, either in DVD/Blue-Ray release or more recently on Disney+ - but it hasn't happened yet. Even if it does, I don't think it will matter because the characters used in the ride aren't dependent at all on the movie - they can exist as stand-alones that don't rely on audience familiarity to be enjoyable. And it is still enjoyable after all these years. Great music, great animatronics and a memorable thrill flume drop at the end make this a favorite. It does tend to get you wet, depending on your luck and where you sit in the boat, and in cooler weather that can be a hindrance to ride which is a shame. It's a classic attraction that will likely never go away.

Big Thunder Mountain Railroad is one of the park's two main thrill rides (we'll get to the other in Tomorrowland) and has bounced back from some pretty horrific accidents a number of years ago. In fact, it took me a long time to gather the courage to ride this ride because of those mishaps. But it's worth it - it's a very quintessential Disney roller coaster. Not too fast, not too scary, just thrilling enough for adults to enjoy but kids can ride too and not come off looking like they've just gone 10 rounds with Pistol Pete. The theming is great, and a recent refurb to the queue gives you lots of tasks to occupy your time while you wait (although not all of them are that interesting, honestly). This is a ride that's exquisite after dark, with a lot of strategic lighting and great views of the park. A planned redo to the entire theming was cancelled not long ago - I'll touch on that a little later.

Tom Sawyer Island is also an anachronism to a less-busy time that has somehow survived. I'll be honest to say I've only visited this island once, and that was really just to say I'd ridden the boat over to it. We stayed for a few minutes, saw there was not much to do but wander around, and came back. There are still a number of play areas for kids on the island and occasionally a snack bar is open but it's best for killing time with the kids. There used to be some interactive elements (hidden paintbrushes, when found would win a kid a Fastpass) but the internet gave away all the secrets so they're pretty much gone.

The footprint for the island, combined with the river that surrounds it, is massive and - similar to the Jungle Cruise - is often the subject of talk to fill it all in and put something new in. Personally I feel this would be an amazing location to put something new in, and have no real emotional ties to the island or the water (more on that in Liberty Square).

Frontierland Shootin' Arcade - why is this still here? I have no idea. I guess people enjoy it. It's an irreverent western-themed shooting gallery. You have to pay extra to shoot, you can't win prizes. I've never done it and walk right past. I guess enough people still enjoy it to keep it open, maintained and cast members assigned to it that it at least breaks even and would be more trouble than it's worth to replace such a small area. Enjoy folks, moving on...

Country Bears Jamboree - Sigh. I want to like this, I really do. I've watched it, it's corny. The songs are corny. The jokes are corny. The animatronics on the stage and on the wall are corny. But it was a one and done for me. I know there are still CBJ fans out there that keep this open even though lack of interest closed the version in Disneyland. If you enjoy it, fine, have fun. It's a pretty small performance area that could have something better in it, but honestly - as I said before - culturally what more could you replace it with that's going to resonate any better than it already does? Surprisingly, I haven't heard anything in a long time about this show's long-term status so it seems pretty safe for now.

Walt Disney World Railroad - This station is still closed pending the railroad reopening whenever Tron Coaster allows. See this page for more discussion about the Walt Disney World Railroad.

There's a very popular counter service restaurant, Pecos Bill's Tall Tale Inn & Cafe, that is famous for it's Tex-Mex/Americana food and fixin's bar. At least it used to be. At least, I heard it is. I've never eaten there (hey, I haven't seen everything single thing at WDW yet). But it seems to be a nice place to eat on the far side of the park. The Golden Oak Outpost is also available for quick dining on the path between Adventureland and Frontierland.

The Diamond Horseshoe is a table-service restaurant that's themed to resemble an old-time saloon. I'm sure it's fun, but have also never visited. It sounds like a number of other saloon-themed restaurants I've heard of and visited before (The Crystal Pistol from Six Flags Over Georgia, most notably) and was likely modeled after the famous Golden Horseshoe from Disneyland.

So if this land review seems lacking in personal experience, again the western theming I feel is old and past its prime and simply doesn't appeal to me very much. The individual rides like Big Thunder and Splash Mountain are great, but their ties to a greater theme in the land itself are tenuous at best. If there was ever a land that actually needed an IP to boost its visibility, it's Frontierland. When the Johnny Depp-vehicle The Lone Ranger was getting ready to hit the theatres, Disney was ready and waiting to re-theme Big Thunder Mountain Railroad to it in a big way - but when it crashed and burned, that idea did as well. Ironically, one of the best areas of the park where a new E-Ticket attraction could be built is on top of Tom Sawyer's Island and the Rivers of America surrounding it, but Frontierland is the land that already has 2 thrill rides and doesn't need another one.

Liberty Square

It's possible this neighboring land is the one that could use a thrill ride on that spot, but more on those possibilities later.

It is interesting how theming requires personal interest and resonance in a guest to be fully appreciated. Someone like me totally digs Adventureland, is bored with Frontierland and quite enjoys Liberty Square, and someone else may have completely different reactions to each one. But my thoughts are all I have...

Liberty Square is themed to resemble an American Colonial-era town. From the cobblestone streets to the building architecture, I really enjoy wandering through this land. It is unique to Walt Disney World, and is a reflection of New Orleans Square in Disneyland.

Liberty Square Attractions:

1. Liberty Square Riverboat
2. Hall of Presidents
3. The Haunted Mansion

Liberty Square is a fairly small land in area, and houses a proportionally small number of attractions.

The Liberty Square Riverboat takes passengers on a leisurely ride around Tom Sawyer Island. Occasionally there are characters onboard to interact with passengers. The design of the steamboat really fits as well here as it does pairing up with Frontierland, and I almost wish more could be done with it in that way. Unless Disney decides, as I mentioned above, to do away with Tom Sawyer Island and the Rivers of America to use that space for a new attraction(s), the Riverboat will keep chugging. I wonder sometimes whether it's a river width, depth or length limitation that keeps two boats from using the waterway as they do in Disneyland. Maybe someday another ship will be added - it would be fun to see something truly Colonial in design - Disneyland has the Sailing Ship Columbia that is used in its Fantasmic show. I would love to see a replica of the USS Constitution berthed permanently here.

The Hall of Presidents has a bit of a controversial past in many ways. While being an animatronic showcase with all the past presidents and a very comfortable way to pass time on a hot Orlando day, it has a reputation for being boring and overall uninteresting and there's always stress whenever a new president is added. The addition of Donald Trump was delayed for several months, significantly longer than when other recent presidents were added. I'm going to reserve my actual feelings and just say that overall it's fun to at least watch once. Whether your favorite president is there to speak or not, it never seems to be in danger of going away. I would imagine in today's age, there is a risk that removing Hall of Presidents would be in response to one party's president or another and cause a PR headache. Plus a lack of creative enthusiasm for improving Liberty Square overall shows this people-eater may be around at least as long as the United States lasts.

I'll try and restrain from gushing about The Haunted Mansion. It is my favorite attraction on the entire property, and I can go on forever about why I love it. But I won't at this time. It has undergone about as many changes, updates and improvements over the years as Pirates of the Caribbean. There seem to always be new effects and recently added an extremely creative interactive queue area. The design of the mansion facade is exquisitely Gothic and fits into the Liberty Square motif as "that mansion on the hill".... This attraction will also still be standing when the rest of the world is collapsed rubble, and I'll still be standing in line reciting the lines along with the Ghost Host. Future changes are not rumored at this time, interestingly. Disney seems to have temporarily cooled on its "plussing" binge. It would be fun if they would add a Hatbox Ghost to the Orlando version like they did in Anaheim, but equally fun would be for them to create a totally original new feature ghost to hang out in the attic with Constance Hatchaway. Time will tell...

There are two main restaurants in Liberty Square, each having similar themes. Columbia Harbour House is quick service, and Liberty Inn Tavern is table service. Both have traditional New England and Thanksgiving-style food and both are well-regarded and well-themed.

Until just recently, Liberty Square presented "Great Moments in History With The Muppets" which was a fun, seemingly spontaneous show from the windows of the surrounding buildings. Great Moments supposedly closed, but returned briefly during the recent holidays. I would love to see this show come back, as well as more like it continue in the area. Anyone who has ever visited Colonial Williamsburg knows Revolutionary War-era American has always been embraced by modern audiences and I feel that theme could be expanded throughout the land.

This is not an area that needs a thrill ride, doesn't really need another dark ride. Not counting some more interactive colonial elements, this land is pretty good the way it is.

Next Time: Fantasyland and Tomorrowland

The Magic Kingdom - Part 1

The Magic Kingdom - Part 1

(Caveat before I begin these posts - I'm not really going to try even a cursory history or overview of each park. If you have never visited or need a refresher, there are many resources out on the web. I'll refer to historical facts or details when necessary but these posts presume a better-than-average knowledge of Walt Disney World and I plan to jump right in.)

Parking, TTC and Entrance

The process of just getting to and into the Magic Kingdom continues to be more complicated than any other park on property, and will likely never change. Construction on areas between the parking lot and the TTC continues forcing a good bit of walking (although this may have cleared up since I was just there). To me, trams should drop you off right in front of the main ticketing area (Animal Kingdom is pretty good at this, as is Dollywood in East Tennessee). You shouldn't begin a day at a park like the Magic Kingdom with a 3-mile hike. But again, this may have changed or be about to change.

There are many, many options once you actually get to the TTC, which can be confusing. You can take a launch to a resort, a monorail to a resort, a monorail to Epcot, a monorail to the Magic Kingdom entrance, or a ferry boat to the Magic Kingdom entrance. Some of these are not marked especially well, especially with the multitude of ticket booths blocking sightlines until you are past them.

(Caveat - are you a "buy my ticket at the front gate" person? If so, why??? I always see lines at the ticket windows and wonder how many of them are paying list price for 1 day at the park for $125/person instead of purchasing online ahead of time and avoiding the hassle.)

Once you have picked your method of transportation, depending on the crowds, it's not difficult to actually get to the Magic Kingdom entrance. It can just be time-consuming. The ferry boat ride can take up to 10-15 minutes once you finally board, and the monorail is about 5 minutes from the TTC to the entrance. I love the monorail and we almost take it, just for convenience.

Since this configuration has existed since the park opened in 1971, and due to the existence of the Seven Seas Lagoon, this arrangement will doubtfully ever go away. It's just going to always be a fact of life that getting in the front gates of the Magic Kingdom is a multi-step process. It's always possible one day they put in "back gate" or entrance via hotel similar to the upcoming Star Wars hotel at DHS, but that would be many years in the future.

Once you reach the park entrance, it's an easy (though sometimes long) trip through bag check and through the "turnstiles" (yes, it's an outdated term in these days of MagicBands, but the term sticks). Whenever possible, consider not bringing a bag if you don't absolutely need it - it makes the entrance process that much easier.

Once you're in, you're in. Pick a direction under the train tracks and it's on to...

Town Square and Main Street, USA

In all the times I've visited, I've never had any issues with traffic, layout, or anything related to Town Square or Main Street, USA. Lots of shopping, lots of early food options are available. Two big character Meet-n-Greets are at the very front - Mickey Mouse and Tinkerbell that usually have long waits. We've never done them, I don't know anything about them, really. I know Meet-n-Greets are usually big people-eaters. I've never quite seen the large appeal, but that's just our family. We're ready to move on to bigger and better things.

For a hot second, Disney had planned and announced to build a new performance venue behind some of the buildings on Main Street. It would have housed some kind of show similar to Aladdin at the Carthay Theatre in California Adventure, except likely featuring Mickey and his pals. During a post-D23 round of budget cuts, this theatre idea was quickly cut. It may resurface at a later date, but I wouldn't hold my breath. The idea of another huge people-eater on Main Street would have been very different and interesting, but I can't imagine the crowd problems it would create when a show was over and people were released back onto the street. We may never know.

Thank goodness the Citizens of Main Street, the Dapper Dans, the Casey's Corner piano player, the Omnibus, the horse-drawn carriage and all the little tasty morsels of period authenticity remain after all these years - for now. As Disney continues to cut back on its live entertainment offerings in the parks, any or all of these offering's days may be numbered. There are no rumors that I've heard, but I can't imagine someone somewhere hasn't thought about it. The online backlash would be massive, so count on them being there for the next while at least.

While there are no real attractions, per se, the closest thing is the main Walt Disney World Railroad station. There are two more in other areas of the park (Frontierland and Fantasyland) but it has been closed for a good while during Tron Coaster construction. The train is always a fun, relaxing way to enjoy a nice view of the entire park. There are some scenes you don't see anywhere else, plus you actually get an overhead view of the showboat scene inside Splash Mountain. It's a bit of a pleasant surprise if you've never been on it before. It eats some time to ride around the entire perimeter of the park but worth the time. As Magic Kingdom continues to expand, the train route may continue to be disrupted, so don't count on it being an always-open option in the future.

One of the most memorable moments ever at the Magic Kingdom was this last trip - my family of four sitting on a park bench next to the Christmas Tree that decorates the middle of Town Square, on a mid-afternoon in December, munching on ice cream, watching all of the world go by. There's something amazingly charming and relaxing about taking the time to enjoy this area of any Magic Kingdom-type park in the world. Always make a plan to stop and smell the cobblestones...

The Hub and Cinderella's Castle

Not much to say about these areas, as they were refurbed in the last few years to add a lot more green space and fireworks-watching areas, plus the castle walls themselves were expanded somewhat in either direction mainly to frame New Fantasyland and to provide new projection mapping sources.

The Partners statue remains the same as it always has been, although it may seem to be a little more difficult to get to on any given day. It seems foot traffic may have "centered" a bit with this new design, rather than pushed directly to the right or left upon exiting Main Street. You can still get there, it's just a bit more congested right in the center on a typical day.

I'll admit I haven't visited the interior of the castle lately and have never been to the Cinderella's Royal Table character meal. None of this is likely to change in the near future. The Royal Table continues to be an extremely popular, if pricey, character meal option.

There are two other restaurants around the perimeter of The Hub, connected to Main Street: The Plaza and the Crystal Palace. They're always busy, but with different vibes and price points.

Let's go left, like my family always does...

Adventureland

Adventureland has five main attractions:

1. Swiss Family Treehouse
2. Jungle Cruise
3. Walt Disney's Enchanted Tiki Room
4. The Magic Carpets of Aladdin
5. Pirates of the Caribbean

I love the number of options in this land, which is my favorite land in the park. Two all-ages movement rides, one walk-through exhibit, one show and one kids' ride. Nothing terribly thrilling - that comes a little later.

Swiss Family Treehouse - its counterpart in California got changed over to a Tarzan overlay several years ago, but this version just continues to chug along. It has a decent-sized footprint, but I'm not sure the location would support something any better than what it is. I enjoy the occasional journey into Disney past, and appreciate holding on to a live-action title that is more than 10 years old. Other than some of the animated films, it's the oldest IP in all of Walt Disney World. It does get rumored to be on the chopping block every few years, but that's usually because no one can believe it's survived this long. It usually supports a fairly steady stream of the curious, and it does have some fantastic fireworks views from the top branches if you can time it correctly.

Jungle Cruise - This is a greatly loved ride, maybe the 3rd or fourth most loved in the whole park, although it also is discussed to be removed and replaced on occasion. Mainly on account of its massive footprint, but with the new movie coming out next year starring The Rock and Emily Blunt, even if it tanks this ride will be here for many years to come. Every Christmas it gets a "Jingle Cruise" overlay which is also quite popular. The jokes and the skippers continue to stay fresh (if inherently stale) and there are rarely any major technical issues. 

Walt Disney's Enchanted Tiki Room - After the fire that apparently took out Iago a few years ago, the "Under New Management" version was reverted back to the original. Personally, I'm in the minority that preferred the one with Zazu and Iago animatronics riffing off the old birds and the little bit of danger from Polynesia, who's "gonna squeeze ya!" But the classic version is here, and it's the one Walt approved for Disneyland, so I'm not going to argue much. I think the music is really dated and do wish they would update a little to have some difference from the Disneyland version but after the backlash from "Under New Management" this will likely stay as it is for some time to come. I also miss the "agent" birds from the preshow queue (voiced by Don Rickles and Phil Hartman, both now deceased), now there really isn't much at all to entertain people while they wait.

Flying Carpets of Aladdin - A standard spinner which admittedly I've never ridden. Careful of the camels - they spit (literally)! The theming is nice and it's always good to have a kid's ride in a land. It's out in the middle of the walkway so there's nothing you could really replace it with except - another spinner.

Pirates of the Caribbean - This ride has changed more than almost any other in the park over the years, due to two main reasons: political correctness sensibilities and the Johnny Depp movie franchise. Every other year, almost, you hear of another overhaul of some kind. Women now chase the pirates. The female auction has been toned down, the fabled redhead is now a pirate, and they're all selling....chickens. Swimming mermaids have come and gone (which I completely missed in that 2009-2015 gap). Barbossa and Jack Sparrow are part of the ride, and Davy Jones was here for another hot second before he too went away. This is maybe the most popular ride in the park so it will still be standing even when the rest of Magic Kingdom as fallen to dust. It eats a ton of people and moves them through quickly so there's rarely a major line. There are two separate queues - one moves you through a dungeon area where you see the famous skeleton chess game, the other moves you through an armory. I'm not sure what warrants which side they open at any particular time, or when they open both. Interestingly, the Shanghai version of Pirates is based solely on the movie series and not this classic attraction, and has some amazing projection effects. It's doubtful any of those components would ever be force-fit into this version, nor would they likely build a clone here in the states so if you want to see that one you'll have to visit China. One great thing that is done at Halloween the last couple of years is to add live actors into the queue and into the actual ride. A "prisoner" talked to guests and handed out treats to kids, and several "pirates" waved and chatted with guests as they rode through the town. I would love to see this continue all the time, but especially as a bonus as Halloween.


I don't want to leave without mentioning some food options. Mainly two things: 

The Skipper's Canteen - a relatively new, sit-down restaurant that is supposedly run by skippers from the Jungle Cruise. It's menu is...eclectic and while the decor and atmosphere are very engaging, word of the menu items not having a lot of kid appeal (and picky eaters like myself) have kept this location from really gaining a foothold in the entire park "pantheon" of dining options. I don't think it's in danger of closing, but continued under-performance - even after several menu revamps - and a less-than-stellar box office of the movie might spell danger for this interesting venue.

Aloha Isle and Sunshine Tree Terrace - Dole Whips and related desserts. Heaven in a cup, and the greatest snack in a 500-mile radius. That's all I have to say about that.


Adventureland, in my opinion, is the most complete and well-rounded area of the Magic Kingdom. The other lands have their own positives and negatives, but this area seems to have it all.

Future Suggestions: I know nothing about land and what's possible to build things on, but the area to the immediate west of the pathway connecting Adventureland and Frontierland has been rumored to be the possible future site of an Adventure-themed hotel. There seems to be a lot of space for it (once again the train track route would need to be adjusted). I think it would be a welcome addition to the Magic Kingdom set of hotels, although I'm sure it would be Deluxe like the others.

I think there is the perfect mix of attractions for an old-school Adventureland. Because the time periods and settings of all the attractions are so far apart it's difficult to try and shoehorn in some kind of connecting theme, although I would love-love-LOVE to see a much bigger presence of the "Disney Society for Explorers and Adventurers" throughout Adventureland and beyond (Google it if you want to know more). It's such a clever idea that riffs off the old Adventurer's Club and has expanded to include fictional explorers that touch on many attractions throughout all the Disney parks around the world. A true thrill ride like the Indiana Jones and the Temple of the Forbidden Eye ride at Disneyland would be fun to include, but it's not really needed and there's plenty to keep one entertained and occupied in this land.

Next time: Frontierland and Liberty Square

Walt Disney World - State of the World 2020

Walt Disney World - State of the World 2020

In this series of posts, I will examine each of the four major theme parks in the Walt Disney World family, and give you my assessment of:

1) Where they have been
2) Where they are
3) Where they are going

Keep in mind these are my thoughts, reflections, analyses, wishes and prognostications only. Everyone else's likes and dislikes about Walt Disney World are different than everybody else's. This is mainly a way to organize my own thoughts, look back on my own experience in the parks and with Walt and the Disney company, and offer some little bit of insight and opinion on what I feel works and what doesn't. And to invite _respectful_ and positive conversation.

My background

I have visited at least one park in Walt Disney World on a total of twelve separate occasions/trips:

1. 1988 - Fall
2. 1990 - Mid-summer #1
3. 1990 - Mid-summer #2
4. 2000 - Fall
5. 2004 - Fall
6. 2007 - Fall
7. 2009 - Spring
8. 2015 - Late Summer
9. 2015 - Christmas
10. 2018 - Fall
11. 2019 - Halloween
12. 2019 - Christmas

In 2019 we become Annual Passholders, and plan to visit at least once more before our Pass runs out in late September 2020.

I also visited Disneyland Paris in Christmas 2010 and Disneyland/California Adventure in Summer 2017.

While this may seem like a relatively small number of times to visit the parks to offer this type of analysis, I have adopted WDW as somewhat of a hobby and followed news and discussion of the resort very closely for almost the last 10 years or so. I feel like I have enough insight into the history and workings of the parks to offer what I hope is an interesting and engaging analysis.

My philosophy

I'm not a pixie duster, nor am I someone who only exists to criticize. I love Disney, I love theme parks and I love theatrical-type entertainment. I love immersive experiences, and I love the occasional adrenaline rush. I love movies, I love TV and I love storytelling of all kinds. I expect excellence and hope for the best out of everyone and everything, but I am not so naive as to believe all my Disney dreams will be fulfilled and also not so cynical as to believe it's all only about the money. The Walt Disney Company is filled with dreamers and executives, Imagineers and bean counters, cast members who love their jobs and cast members who are only there to grab a paycheck. It takes all kinds to run the world and it takes all kinds to run a resort. The one commonality I do firmly believe in is that everyone is trying to do (pretty much) the best they can within the parameters they feel are important and expected of them. So I give everyone a lot of benefit of doubt when it comes to certain things like planning, building, implentation, running, operating, hosting, decorating, cleaning, serving and paying. We're all trying to make our way in the world, support ourselves, support our families and maybe make a little magic for someone. When everyone's interests coincide - bonus! It happens more often than not at a Disney park. But it doesn't always happen the way we want it to, and we (as fans on the outside) don't know 10% of the reality in some cases. So while it's nice and convenient to be able to sit from my easy position and either praise or criticize, it's with as much acknowledement as possible of the work that thousands of people are doing every day, in their own way, for a large multi-national corporate conglomerate. Walt's spirit may live in the parks, but he's been gone for 53 years and we all have our own interpretations of how he did things and what he would have wanted. So I will endeavour to by fair, honest and helpful in all that I say.




These individual park posts may run a bit long, and I may break them into multiple posts per park - I don't know, I haven't written them yet :) But please bear with me as you read, and please feel free to offer comments, suggestions or criticisms as we go. Just keep it civil and helpful.

I'm also not certain how long it will take me to write all four park analyses, so they will likely be published at an undefined schedule over the next couple of days. 

I'll edit this page and link to individual park posts as we move along, for later convenience.

1) Magic Kingdom (Part 1)

As Peter Pan said, here we go!!

And You Thought The Only Dead People Were Animatronic...

Apparently some folks are tossing more than their cookies on some popular amusement park rides:

Looks like the Haunted Mansion has more than 999 Happy Haunts...

he big problem isn't graffiti or hot-to-trot teens in a back row, it's park visitors smuggling in the cremated remains of their loved ones and then spreading the ashes inside a favorite attraction. The Haunted Mansion is by far the most popular location for this, but you'd be surprised where else people are dumping cremated remains at Disneyland.

The craze seems to have gotten its start at the Haunted Mansion, with the earliest known incident taking place in the late 1990's. Ever since then the practice becomes more popular by the year, and it happens so frequently now that Disneyland has trained the ride operators how to handle such an incident and what to do when remains are discovered inside the attraction. Sometimes the person spreading the ashes is seen on the surveillance cameras and the Cast Members can respond quickly.

Because they have been instructed by the Security and Legal departments to never actually detain a park visitor, most of the perpetrators spreading the ashes are never actually caught however, and they disappear into the park. But when a Haunted Mansion Cast Member sees ashes being spread from a passing Doom Buggy, the attraction is cycled out and shut down for hours at a time while the Custodial department comes in and begins the clean up. The Anaheim Police are also involved in the incident, but there's rarely anything they can do about it either.

I'm assuming the problem is as big or bigger at the Magic Kingdom in Orlando, but the article doesn't specify. Think about the air you're breathing next time you roll through the Haunted Mansion's graveyard scene :)

Apparently the Mansion isn't the only popular venue for quick disposal of Dear Aunt Betty:

While the rate of "HEPA Cleanups" has been increasing lately at the Haunted Mansion, the recent Pirates of the Caribbean movie craze (with its supernatural plot themes) means that ride isn't immune either. Just this past Friday a Cast Member watching the security cameras noticed a woman in the back of a boat throwing a powdery substance into the lavishly decorated sets in the cavern scenes near the beginning of the ride. Even though Pirates is a 15 minute long ride, by the time the lady spreading the substance returned to the loading area Security had yet to arrive.

The college age Cast Members operating the attraction knew that legally they were not supposed to detain anyone, and when they confronted her about what she was doing in the cameras she told them she was only throwing baby powder around. The woman quickly disappeared out the exit, never to be seen again, but she'd actually left more than baby powder all over the Pirates of the Caribbean.

Security and the police finally arrived, and the ride was shut down on a busy afternoon of a holiday weekend. The ash was identified by the Anaheim Police as cremated remains, and the custodial department found most of it all over the "Captain's Quarters" scene in the caverns. The woman had done a very thorough job of spreading the ash everywhere though, and after an hour of cleaning with the HEPA vacuums there was still work to be done.

Because those lavish sets are maintained by costumers and maintenance crews that don't come in until Midnight, and with a growing crowd of cranky tourists outside wanting to know when Pirates would reopen, Disneyland management was faced with the decision of reopening the popular ride with ash remaining on the bedspreads, props and antiques in the caverns.

While custodial did a thorough job of cleaning the ash from the rockwork and the areas closest to the passing boats, much of the cremated remains would have to stay there until the set could be dismantled and cleaned completely after the park closed for the night. So after a lengthy downtime, Pirates of the Caribbean was reopened by management with the remains of a very devoted fan still spread through much of the Captains Quarters.

Ewwww.

Still, that's not so bad as the torture some poor family could put their dearly departed through:

It's a Small World is another long, fifteen minute ride that doesn't have a single security camera anywhere. All sorts of illicit things happen inside Small World at the end of the night, and leaving Grandma's remains in there to listen to that catchy song for all eternity is definitely a possibility.

Nothing like floating serenely by happy animatronic children, singing about peace and joy and togetherness, while glancing down to see a fragment of a femur floating by....

They may have to change the nickname to "The Happiest Place...for all Eternity".

Hangin' Out With My Hero

Blogging from Orlando - Day 6

Ahh....some rest. This was our "nothing" day.

TUESDAY

Not a whole heck of a lot of anything

• Even though we had nothing planned for the day, we had to get up early and hear the obligatory time-share spiel. Blah, blah, blah, yada, yada, yada...no, we're not buying, no we're not upgrading, whatever. Give me my $75 in Disney Dollars, please. Thank you.
  
  
• After spending the day relaxing in the room, we visited a new place on the Disney property, Disney's Boardwalk. This is a nice area near the BoardWalk Resort featuring shops, restaurants and nightlife entertainment with a New England/Coney Island theme. It's a little similar to Downtown Disney, the larger shopping/eating area a few blocks away, but not so flashy and, um, frantic. Low-key, with old time charm and entertaining jugglers, magicians and rolling pianists creating atmosphere. Had a great dinner at Big River Grille & Brewing Works, strolled along the boardwalk and, due to its proximity to Epcot, watched Illuminations again from behind the buildings in between the properties.
  
  
  
  
  
  
• A very nice, low-key, restive day.
  
  
• Made contact with my buddy Gary who will be getting in town tomorrow evening. And we'll be getting together then. His brother Phillip, aka "The Beast" will arrive on Thursday and filming on our new movie will begin.

Tomorrow: Back to the parks! And not a moment too soon!

Blogging from Orlando - Day 5 (Epcot)

Sorry about the delay, I just needed some time to rest and recouperate.

MONDAY

Epcot

• This is pretty much the day we built the trip around - the 25th Anniversary of the opening of Epcot. On Oct 1, 1982 EPCOT Center became the 2nd gate at Walt Disney World and a new era of Disney parks expansion had begun. You probably know EPCOT was Walt Disney's final dream and the subject of his last filmed appearance before his death - a true, unified community of tomorrow. Over time the Disney executives modified his dream to present a vision of the future married to a permanent World's Fair with pavilions from several countries around the world. This is my favorite park of all and I felt privileged to be around for the anniversary celebration.
  
  
• We arrived just after 8:20 and made it easily through the turnstiles to the front of the crowd gathered below Spaceship Earth. It was easy to see that plenty of Epcot fans from all over were here to celebrate. Faces painted, lanyards festooned with pins, some dressed as characters from the park - they all came.
  
  
• When ropes dropped, we hit Mission: Space and rode with no waiting. There are two intensity levels to the ride: the original "Orange" level that produced many upset stomach and dizzy spells since it opened, and a newer, less intense "Green" level that didn't spin. We rode Green, and honestly I didn't notice a lot of difference from the last time I rode it a few years ago at full intensity. But I'm not one to get motion sick or really sense that sort of queasiness while spinning, so maybe that's just me. Anyway, try the Green if you're nervous about it, it's fine.
  
  
• At 10:01 AM was the rededication ceremony in front of the big fountain. I don't recall the names of all the dignitaries who spoke but one was Erin Wallace, VP for Walt Disney World (a name that should be strangely familiar to those who know me personally) and Marty Sklar, one of the original Imagineers, a friend of Walt Disney's and architect of much of what we saw that day at Epcot. Some photos are below.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
• We rode Test Track, The Seas with Nemo and Friends, and a spectacular new ride at Epcot, Soarin'. We then made our customary circuit of all the nation pavilions, especially the inspiring patriotic American Adventure show with new footage.
  
  
• It had rained off and on all day and by dusk clouds were threatening again. We staked out a great spot near the edge of the lake to watch the special fireworks show, "Illuminations: Reflections of Earth". About 15 minutes before showtime the skies opened up and the rain began to pour. While we were concerned the show might be cancelled, we were more concerned about delay - once again, the resort bus had a small window to pick us up and return us to the hotel. Any delay in the start of the fireworks could mean getting left again. The rain let up after about 5 minutes, and about 9:10 Illuminations began. At the end was a special anniversary finale that was truly memorable.
  
  
• We rushed through the park, out the entrance to the location where our bus was to be with about 5 minutes to spare.

This is a park with a lot of detail, a lot of charm, and a lot of promise and hope for the future. It's the perfect place to soak in ambiance, meet people from around the world, experience new technologies and new innovations, and enjoy the best Disney has to offer. A fantastic day.

EPCOT 25th Anniversary Ceremony - Finale

These are the last few minutes of the ceremony that marked the 25th Anniversary Ceremony at EPCOT on 10/1/2007.

Goofy Busts a Move at EPCOT 25th Anniversary

Maybe this will tide you over...

Blogging From Orlando Delayed Due to Inclement Weather

Just like the EPCOT fireworks show, "Illuminations: Reflections of Earth", the Orlando Trip report will be delayed until tomorrow (Tuesday).

That should give you an idea how part of our big day at EPCOT went yesterday...

Blogging from Orlando - Day 3

SATURDAY

Magic Kingdom and Animal Kingdom

• Rode a shuttle bus from the resort to the Magic Kingdom about 8am. The driver told us we would be able to watch the fireworks shuttle and could be back in plenty of time for the return bus at 9:30. Remember this instruction, it comes back into play later.
  
  
• While waiting in line at the front entrance, near the front of the line, a nice young Disney Cast Member asked us if we'd like to come take a quick survey - we'd finish quickly and actually get to enter the park before the rest of the crowd. Well, duh, no brainer. We followed her through the gates and took the survey in a small building just inside. After we finished it was still a few minutes till 9 (rope drop) so we just walked on down Main Street USA. It's a surreal sight to see the street mostly deserted, only some welcoming cast members waving a friendly hello. Cinderella's castle loomed in the distance.
  
  
• We headed straight to the newly refurbished Haunted Mansion and rode it twice in a row, no wait. The new enhancements are amazing. We then rode Pirates of the Caribbean twice, again no waiting. This coming in right after opening is amazing - 4 rides in less than an hour.
  
  
• Jungle Cruise, Splash Mountain (first time) and It's a Small World rounded out our morning at the Magic Kingdom. It was just after noon and time to head out of the park.
  
  
• We'd noticed several couples wearing "Happy Anniversary" Disney buttons, so just before we left the Magic Kingdom we stopped in Guest Relations and asked for some. Received them with no questions asked, and a congratulations. From then on the rest of the day many cast members we encountered congratulated us on our anniversary. You could tell pretty soon the management had mandated all cast members encountering someone wearing the buttons do so, but it was still thoughtful.
  
  
• We caught a Disney shuttle bus to Animal Kingdom and headed straight to Dinosaur - The Ride. We got caught in a downpour but made it there anyway, soaking. Again, no wait. Some late lunch and over to Expedition Everest. The wait there was actually 30 minutes, but a kindly soul gave me a FastPass and I got in right away. Very nice ride - I liked this one.
  
  
• We then saw the new Finding Nemo: The Musical show (quickie review: songs and voices somewhat lacking; energy, puppetry and spectacle fantastic) and headed back out of the park, and back to the Magic Kingdom.
  
  
• This time we took the Ferry boat back to the Magic Kingdom, and spent the evening in Tomorrowland. Stitch's Great Escape, Space Mountain, Buzz Lightyear, one of personal favorites the Tommorowland Transit Authority, and Monsters, Inc Laugh Floor. In the Laugh Floor, certain audience members are put up on the big screen and interact with the computer generated monster on the screen. Well, yours truly found himself on the big screen making a fool of himself in front of about 300 people.
  
  
• We found a prime spot to have some dinner, watch the Spectromagic parade and watch the fireworks show "Wishes" with a full view of Cinderella's Castle. In honor of our Tink, the live Tinkerbell that flies down a wire from the top of the castle passed right over our heads.
  
  
• Tired and sore, we exited the park and tried to make it back to the bus. When we got there at 9:36 pm - no bus. They had waiting only 5 minutes or less, and left. We ended up making a visual circuit of Epcot on the monorail and finally caught the 11pm bus back to the resort.

Except for the trouble with the bus at the end of the day, it was absolutely perfect. I made a schedule and plan before we started, and was able to hit everything we wanted to in the time we had. I love it when a plan comes together.

As much as we enjoy having the kids with us at Disney, there's something really special about spending time there with the one you love. Something very special, indeed.

TOMORROW: A LITTLE R&R, AND UNIVERSAL STUDIOS

Blogging from Orlando - Day 2

Sometimes you're just hardwired to wake up at a certain time. Laura is, I'm not. We had till 12:30 to check out and she was awake at 6. Old habits are hard to break. Up and at them!

FRIDAY

• Had breakfast in the massive Pop Century food court. We had surprisingly good portions of eggs'n'bacon crossiant and a standard egg/sausage/bacon/hashbrowns plate. Very tasty and great way to start the day.
  
  
• Decided to walk off the breakfast by taking a leisurely stroll around the resort, taking in all the decorations and gaudy kitsch. It was freakin' hot. By 10am it was likely pushing 90 degrees. We were able to walk the whole resort, keeping in the shade when possible and taking several photos.
  
  
• After checking out, we drove over to the Animal Kingdom Lodge to look around. This resort, one of the most upscale of all the Disney resorts, is unique in that several animals routinely roam "savannahs" closely visible from the guest rooms. Giraffes, zebra, gazelle, bongos, buffalo and many variety of birds move here and there in full view of the guests. We explored all over this resort, just watching and seeing what was there. The theming of the Lodge was gorgeous, in African motifs and pleasany native music. We took our time and enjoyed the lodge. It would be great to stay here someday, as the lobby and restaurant area, plus the pool, are beautiful. Unfortunately it's pretty much out of our price range in our life time. Onward.
  
  
• Next we drove over to to Port Orleans resort and had some lunch. The section of Port Orleans that we visited has a Mardi Gras, French Quarter feel and as we at lunch in the on-site restaurant, giant decorations stared down at us from the walls. Huge masks and over Mardi Gras decorations filled the walls and ceiling. We bought some beignets and a ham and cheese sub and people-watched.
  
  
• It was time for check-in at the resort where we will stay for the rest of the trip here - Wyndham Resorts at Bonnet Creek. There's a lake behind the resort, pools, a lazy river floating area and walkways - more importantly it's a place to dump our stuff. On the way to the resort we stopped and got some groceries and somehow in the process of getting from the store to the room we lost one of the bags. Cheese-it Crackers, Chips Ahoy cookies, bandaids and camera batteries - gone. Crap. Anyway, we rested in the room for a good while until around 5pm.
  
  
• Drove out to Downtown Disney and had dinner at the House of Blues restaurant. I had a pulled pork barbecue sandwich and Laura had corn chowder and a salad. We took the boat launch from the West Side around to the Market Place, shopped for awhile then walked back through Pleasure Island and back to the car. Not only does Downtown Disney have the world's largest World of Disney Store (since the one in Knoxville moved locations it isn't the same), a Lego Store and (Laura's favorite) Disney's Days of Christmas, my favorite place is the Art of Disney where they sell artwork, cels, sketches and other renderings of Disney characters and movies. There are some truly breathtaking works in there, and we will probably return and purchase some Tinkerbell prints for our Tink's room....
  
  
• Got back to Bonnet Creek about 9, just in time to watch the Epcot fireworks show from our balcony. I shot some video and will try to post it eventually as well.
  
  
• Early start tomorrow as we hit the Magic Kingdom and Animal Planet. 999 Happy Haunts wait for no one - there's room for 1,000... Any volunteers?

Blogging from Orlando - Day 1

Day late and a dollar short.

Actually, this is being typed on Day 2. I just got internet connection in our hotel room, so I'll have to recap yesterday.

YESTERDAY.

• Plane left Knoxville for Orlando about 8pm. Flying Allegiant Air was interesting for the first time. Pretty no-frills. The flight was bumpy, but not too bad. Got into Orlando and on the road in a rental car around 10:30.
  
  
• Drove out to Pop Century Resort and made it there a little after 11. Talk about sensory overload. I'll post photos when I have time, but suffice to say every artifact and saying of the 50's-90's is painfully (and playfully) on display here. We checked in, had a snack and went on to bed. Tomorrow's a busy day!
  

Childhood Dreams

If there's one video to watch on the web today, it's this:

Dying Professor's Lecture of a Lifetime

Randy Pausch, a 46-year-old computer-science professor at Carnegie Mellon University, has terminal cancer and expects to live for just a few more months.

This week, he said goodbye to his students and the Pittsburgh college with one last lecture called "How to Live Your Childhood Dreams," on his life's journey and the lessons he's learned

The Wall Street Journal called it "the lecture of a lifetime" and those who have seen it have more than agreed.

Dr. Pausch lays everything on the line with grace, humor and wisdom. By telling his life and career story, he explains how everyone can fulfill their childhood dreams (one of which included being Captain Kirk, so Michael, you're one step ahead of the game right there).

He speaks of developing a Virtual Reality simulation with Disney Imagineers, teaching a hugely popular course in Virtual Worlds at Carnegie-Mellon, developing graduate programs in imagination building and finally completing work on a new system for teaching kids how to use computers.

He's given me a lot to think about. A whole lot.

An important point he made that I have to consider deeply involved setbacks and things that block our progress:

Though he achieved most of his childhood dreams, Pausch flashed his rejection letters on a screen and talked about career setbacks: "Brick walls are there for a reason. The brick walls aren't there to keep us out. The brick walls are there to show us how badly we want things."

We all have brick walls in our lives. Some happen naturally as a result of circumstances. Sometimes other people put them up to block our way.

Sometimes we raise them ourselves and keep building them, brick by brick, while we try and convince ourselves that they are not of our own making. These are my most challenging walls to overcome, and maybe I can find the strength to overcome them.

Anyway, if you ever had childhood dreams watch the video of someone who overcame them - and see how he deals with death, for some the biggest brick wall of them all.

Happy Birthday, EPCOT

This time next Monday, as part of our 15th anniversary trip, my wife and I will be attending the 25th Birthday celebration for Epcot at Walt Disney World.

On Oct 1, 1992 the combination permanent World's Fair and Future Technology celebration opened its doors for the first time. On Oct 1, 2007 the Disney company will hold a celebration commemorating this event:

Epcot 25 celebration to take place next Monday

After months of denying that there would be any official public recognition of Epcot's 25th anniversary next Monday, Walt Disney World is now planning a rededication ceremony and other events to commemorate the park, which opened on October 1, 1982. Disney's plans were perhaps spurred in part by the huge response to the "Celebration 25" event created by Jenn Waitt and Adam Roth, and to a smaller event called "The Epcot Thing" created by Nathan Rose. The fact that several hundred people were willing to travel to attend an unofficial event helped convince Disney to involve the "Celebration 25" group in the official rededication ceremony that takes place at the Fountain of Nations plaza behind Spaceship Earth.

In addition to the 10:01 a.m. ceremony—which echoes the park's original dedication ceremony—Epcot is installing a special exhibit in the south corridor of Innoventions West near the character greeting location, distributing commemorative buttons to all park guests, and adding a special ending tag for the evening's showing of Illuminations. The tag will feature well-known Epcot music and the voice of Walt Disney, most likely from "The Epcot Film," and will include perhaps as many shells in the closing seconds as the show's entire holiday tag.

"Retro" guidebooks, menus and other souvenirs will also be involved in the event. The Innoventions exhibit will be in place through at least the end of the year; we'll bring you photos from the exhibit in the October 8 Park Update.

Also, park guests will have the opportunity to chat with Imagineering Ambassador Marty Sklar in the Circle of Life Theater inside The Land pavilion, though seating will be limited. World Showcase restaurants will also get into the act, providing menus reminiscent of the original 1982 menus. It will be interesting to see how that integrates with the opening week of the Epcot International Food & Wine Festival.

Despite that, much of Disney's focus remains on cast-oriented events, as originally planned. The 300 opening-day cast members who still work there will be recognized, and other giveaways, decorations and celebrations are also involved.

EPCOT (its original spelling, which Walt Disney named the "Experimental Prototype City of Tomorrow", has morphed to the present "Epcot") is my favorite of all the WDW parks and the one I most enjoy spending a day just walking and wandering. Here's a great article about Illuminations, the nightly fireworks/lasers/fantasy show at EPCPT

Illuminations takes it for granted that you know full well where you are, and proceeds from the assumption that you want to be entertained, you want to be astonished, you want to be moved. It doesn't try for humor, because its designers knew that a smile genuinely earned is better than one that's forced or coaxed.

And I'll say it again -- it succeeds despite (or, more likely, because of) a complete and utter lack of anything overtly Disney, save for a few fleeting seconds of Walt Disney's image in one of its visual montages. Despite music that becomes bombastic, overwhelming images and the thunderous fireworks, Illluminations is paradoxically subtle.

It conveys all of the values, all of the spirit, all of the inspiration and emotion of EPCOT's core themes (an ideal future, a peaceful world, a collaborative people) by combining music, images and a visceral experience with flair, creativity and, dare I say it, artistry.

When we as a family first visited Walt Disney World, they were in the midst of the huge Millennium celebration in 2000 so we got to see this show close to its debut, and it's simply amazing.

I missed the 25th Anniversary of the 1982 World's Fair here in Knoxville back in July, so at least I'll get to see this one in Orlando next week. I can't wait.

However, all that said, the thing I'm most looking forward to is walking down the paths and streets of EPCOT, holding my wife's hand and just enjoying the company :)

Music in My Ears

Next week my wife and I will be winging down to Orlando (for free!) and spending a week park-hopping for our 15th Anniversary. We plan to spend two days at the Disney Parks, and also have a 7-day pass for the Universal parks so our days and evenings will be quite busy :)

Flying on the new Allegiant Air, they still seem to be getting some kinks out. A month or two ago we were notified second-hand (through an emailed updated itinerary) that our departing flight had been canceled and we'd been bumped to a later one that day. After some discussion we decided to actually book a flight out the night before.

Hey, an extra whole day! I'm not arguing with that...

Of course, what that meant is we needed to find someplace to stay that extra first night since our lodging reservations were already set in stone. So we chose to stay one night at one of the value Disney Resorts, the Pop Century (official site). For those unfamiliar with Disney resorts, this one is themed to each of the last 5 decades - in other words, there's a 50's section, a 60's section, a 70's, 80's and 90's. Each is festooned (there's really no better word) with various pop icons and other kitschy details. It's great :)

Anyway, I called this morning to make our reservation for the one night. I'm talking to the cast member in Reservations on the phone (her name was Norann - very nice lady) and she's taking down all my numbers and information, etc. We're about to finish the reservation when she needs to put me on hold for a minute. I said fine.

So I'm on hold. In my ear the song, "Out There" from Hunchback of Notre Dame is playing. This is one of my favorite Disney songs, so I'm singing along...

Out there, Where they all live unaware
What I'd give
What I'd dare
Just to live one day out there

Out there among the millers and the weavers and their wives
Through the roofs and gables I can see them
Ev'ry day they shout and scold and go about their lives
Heedless of the gift it is to be them
If I was in their skin
I'd treasure ev'ry instant

And I'm just singing along, having a great time. And I realize the music's stopped..

Norann says, "Hi - wow, you were just singing along weren't you?"

I'm a bit embarrassed, but hey, I have a nice voice - maybe it was an audition?

I tell her I really like that song and just got lost in the moment. She said she was glad I did, and it brought a smile to her face. I replied that I was happy to oblige ;)

We completed the reservation and that was that.

I wish now that I'd asked her if it got me a discount...

Up, Up and Away!

Wow.

Laura was given a couple of free tickets to the UT/Ole Miss baseball game this evening and took Brainyboy with her. I had Suessical rehearsal and Tink was staying overnight at a friend's house, so they went by themselves.

In the midst of a 1 hour storm/lightning delay, they had a drawing for two free round-trip tickets from Allegiant Air, a new carrier in Knoxville.

Guess who won?

So she just called me with a choice: Las Vegas, Orlando, or Tampa? It wasn't really a hard choice - I've been to Vegas a couple of times on business but it's not really the place for us as a couple. And if you're choosing between Tampa and Orlando...well, duh.

I wonder what Mickey's up to lately?

Virgins and Chickens and Dominatrixes - Oh My!

Now that I have your attention...:)

A few memorable people Gary and I met on our trip to Universal...

• The Rafting Virgins - One of the rides at Islands of Adventure is "Popeye and Bluto's Bilge-Rat Barges", a "river raft" adventure ride where you and about seven other people are in a round raft that floats through a churning channel. Every so often your raft will float by something that's squirting water at you, or you'll hit the side of the walls ensuring someone (or everyone) is eventually going to get soaked.
  
  At one point on Friday afternoon, we changed into our trunks at the hotel and rode all the water rides back to back several times without worrying about getting our regular clothes soaked. So on one of our times around this raft ride, stepping on board are four teens - three girls and a boy. Each has on a yellow t-shirt with the name of a Baptist church in Indiana or somewhere so you can tell they're all in a youth group together. What was amusing is that each of the girls was perfectly coifed - hair perfect, makeup perfect, clothes wrinkle-free and bone dry. They had apparently been airlifted into the park because none of them were sweating in the 85+ degree heat. They all sat down near us and chatted with each other, wondering if they might get wet.
  
  Heh. Why yes, yes they did. They were...shall we say...intimately acquainted with gallons and gallons of falling, splashing, churning and squirting water when they stepped, aghast and shocked, back off the boat.
  
  I felt proud to have witnessed the occasion.
  
  
• The Foreign Chicken - Another favorite ride was "Dr. Doom's Free Fall". This one seats 16 people in groups of four around a cylindrical tower and launches them into the air before plunging back down in a harrowing drop. Sitting next to us on this particular time was a father and his 15-yr-old son, who were apparently from....well, we were never sure where they were from because we couldn't exactly place their accents. I think we narrowed it down to England, Romania or possibly Morocco. Well, neither had ridden before but the dad was excited and ready. Smiling, he asked us - who were obviously seasoned riders - what the ride was like. The whole time however, we could tell his son was getting increasingly agitated. He had trouble locking his safety harness which I helped him with, but when the ride attendant came by for the final double-check the poor kid had turned white and stammered to be taken off. We and his dad tried our best to convince him to try it out, that it wasn't so bad...it was fun...he'll enjoy it - but no use. Trembling, he begged the attendant to let him out. Once freed of the restraints he scurried to the exit and disappeared. His father shook his head, laughed, and sat back to the enjoy the ride.
  
  I half expected to find the kid cowering under a table when we got back down.
  
  
• The Dominatrix - Saturday evening we crossed enemy lines and ate dinner at Downtown Disney, which is Disney's "public" area of shops, restaurants and small attractions like the uber-arcade, "DisneyQuest". Gary and I ate at Planet Hollywood (and Tommy...looks like you guys missed out on the fun!) and were seated at a small table near the very front of the restaurant.
  
  One side note - if you've never been to a Planet Hollywood, you've missed a major experience because thousands (well, hundreds. Maybe dozens) of articles of movie memorabilia are strewn haphazardly throughout the restaurant. If you're a movie buff and want to see things like John Malkovich's wooden gun from "In the Line of Fire", Herbie the Love Bug - suspended from the ceiling - the bullet-riddled windshield from "Bonnie and Clyde" and other items, this is the place to be.
  
  Anyway, our waiter comes over (a guy, natch) and introduces himself. He then motions to a fairly tall lady standing near him - she has dark hair pulled back into a severe ponytail behind her and is dressed all in black, and he says he's training with this waitress. It's obvious he's the padawan learner here and not the master here - she watches him like a hawk and observes his actions with a piercing eye. "Hmmm..." we say.
  
  Hmm, indeed.
  
  Later we glance at the table next to us and the young padawan commits an agregious sin - he places the couple's check down next to the woman. Behind me, I hear someone say, "Mm mm mm....." I glance up and there's the Dark Jedi Waitress, shaking her head and tsking. She leans down and tells us softly, "Did you see what he did? He should never give the woman the check." She then follows the youngling off to, well, we could only assume he was about to be punished.
  
  That's when we determined this lovely dark-haired waitress was not only a Dark Jedi, she was a Dark Jedi Dominatrix.
  
  Oh my.
  
  Unfortunately (or fortunately, depending on his attitude) the young jedi didn't fare too well, forgetting two requests from me for just a glass of ice. Each time, his Master kept him under her watchful eye. I could imagine the screams of pain coming from the kitchen as she reminded him of his misdeeds...
  
  So, we're getting ready to leave. We pay the check (carefully) and stand. I glance over and see our Dark Jedi looking at me. She smiles crookedly and mouths to me, "Thank you..."
  
  I wasn't sure if she was being polite, flirting, or inviting me to join her and all her little padawan learners for a night of learning the Dark Jedi Arts.
  
  I blinked, chose the light path, and we escaped with our lives...