Optimism Realized

Yesterday's early morning post regarding positivity was purely hypothetical. It was merely a theory that came about as an act of will and the picture was just to make me happy.

Then this morning came.

And then this happened.

(This time it was with my own camera!)

And it made me smile.

Clarity in an Auto Shop

My husband scheduled our vehicle for an oil change at 8:30 am Monday morning. Frankly, I wasn't that excited about keeping that appointment knowing it meant getting there with the kids and then spending a while just waiting in the lobby.

Impressively, we made it there on time and we wound up being there for about an hour after they did the oil change and then checked into another concern we had with the power doors. To my pleasure, the older boys played quite nicely together while I entertained, nursed, and danced the baby to sleep.

During this time, though, I had a very enjoyable, reassuring epiphany. There was only one other person waiting in the lobby with us. She was middle aged and by herself, peacefully reading a book she had brought along. There have been many other times during my motherhood when I have envied others waiting in lobbies alongside me who had peace, solitude, and the luxury of being able to enjoy a book or magazine in perfect concentration and without interruption.

Not this time.

I really enjoyed the perspective I'd achieved and saw from that day. I felt completely perfect being there with my boys, attending to them, guiding their interactions, answering their questions, chatting with them when they were so inclined. And then I saw the other woman. I saw her glancing up from her book occasionally to watch the boys play, watch when the baby squawked or cooed to me, and she seemed to have a fond, reminicient air in response.

It was nice.

It made me so glad and thankful to be just where I am right now in life.

(Thank you, God.)

**We go back tomorrow afternoon to have the module for the door replaced.

I have high hopes. ;)

I've got a new attitude

The thing that used to drive me the craziest about my mom was how she always seemed to be so slow at everything. Now, I am becoming my mother. And I'm taking on the one trait that bugged me the absolute most.

But the most amazing thing is that I'm completely aware of it and I'm totally embracing it! And I think I'm finally understanding why she was like that and how she got that way.

Being a slow person when you are the mother of three small children definitely has its purposes. I have found that it helps because I'm going more the speed of the children, so I'm a LOT less likely to be losing my patience with them for their pace with things. (And they like that, too) And it's also come in handy during this learning/adjustment phase after the baby's been born. I've adopted the attitude that I'll just do what I can and that things will just be different, at least until we get past the learning curve. So I'm totally at peace with it; it's been serving me very well. (I have been loving having three!)

Since thinking all of this through, I realized that this has just been carried over from the last months of my pregnancy when my body was imposing on me a slower pace. I think that that was God preparing me to be a mother of three, and I've been thanking him for it.

All the Many Benefits

Since changing my tune and my mommy-pace, I've gotten to enjoy some pretty neat things that have happened.


I really liked how I noticed almost immediately that our days together were a lot more enjoyable. As a result of that, I began to feel a little bit like my old, pre-parent, relaxed self (another thing I also really liked). Another thing I noticed was that the boys had and ever-so-slight difference in how they responed to me. It's like they relaxed a little bit, too.


Somehow, all of this has left me feeling more free to enjoy my children and savor the time that I get to spend with them, and I feel more free to take the time to do special projects together (which, of course, they really enjoy!).


It's really amazing what a shift in thought and a little slower pace overall can accomplish.

Thanks again, God.

Pregnancy Grace?

I used to think that I had certain personality characteristics that simply made it harder for me to be a good, patient mother. But then one day recently I realized that I had this underlying thing in my mind that was keeping me constantly hurried with my children; annoyed with their spills, their slowness, the added time and effort to go places and do things with them etc. It was as if in the back of my mind I kept thinking that I had something better to be doing, somewhere or someone more important to be and my children were in the way of it with all their "inconveniences."

When this thought popped into my head, it was like a complete revelation to me! Like, "Wow, that's why I had been getting frustrated all of the time!" But the funny thing is that I KNOW that my vocation IS the most important thing and that it IS exactly what I am supposed to be doing right here, right now. So how in the world did this other competing, more powerful idea creep into my mind and affect how I was going about being a mom?

That is the question that is really bugging me. How did that disconnect between what was in my head about my vocation and how I was carrying it out come into existence in the first place? (I'm still working on solving that question to make sure it doesn't happen again, and if I never find the answer I'm just going to be continually vigilant after learning this lesson to prevent it from returning in the future.)

And the solution for me has proved to be so simple: SLOW DOWN. Go at my children's pace (which is about right these days--I'm keeping pace with my 2 year old! :) ), remember to take the time to enjoy them, and that they are not an obstacle to be overcome.

I've also been wondering since having this revelation how it came into existence. I really haven't been able to exact an answer for this question, but I'm now thinking that it was a combination of a pregnancy-induced slower pace on me and in our days and God's grace. Thank you, God!

Lent and Holy Week

It's true that I have always dreaded the onset and forty days of Lent. I will admit it. It's also true that I have know people who simply love Lent (for the opportunity it provides to grow in holiness!) and I have wished that I was someone who naturally shared those sentiments.

I always thought that there two simple factors that culminated over the years to bring me to that avoid-dread-postpone! Lent attitude. 1-My body and I are horrible at fasting. (I've always been in the small snack/meals every two hours camp.) and 2-I don't particularly LIKE suffering and deprivation.

But I now know that there was something else, something much bigger that was sabotaging my Lents. Because something has changed between Lent and me the last couple of years. I feel like it has been a very positive change which has allowed me to actually enjoy Lent a little more and also the fact that it has become a lot more efficacious for me as a result.

I totally changed my approach to Lent.


Previously, when Lent would be approaching, I would be brainstorming about each and every little thing that I thought needed some tweaking and I would come up with a sizeable list and attempt (not so successfully) to eradicate them all. This would usually lead to a not-so-satisfying Lenten outcome because I hadn't accomplished all of the goals I'd set for myself and that felt as though I'd fallen short and didn't really gain any ground in the holiness dept. Once I got disgusted with this pattern, I tried adding a bunch things to my spiritual life instead in the hopes that that would work better. It didn't.

But one year, I decided that I had had enough of Lent as I knew it. Instead of wasting another Lent trying to do too much and become entirely perfect by the end of it (and failing), I decided to choose one goal for each of the three themes of Lent: prayer, fasting, almsgiving. I'll admit, the first year I did this I felt like I was being a big slacker. You might think so, too (I still do--a little), but I'm sticking with it because it has made all the difference for me.

This year, at the end of Lent and in the midst of Holy Week (and Triduum), I have a very positive feeling and I am able to feel good about the Lent I've had and how it turned out. Not only that, I also feel like this somehow increases the anticipation that I have for celebrating our Lord's Resurrection. It's a great feeling.