Self-Esteem in My Commonplace Journal

This video popped up in my feed--new favourite song!  

And here are some pages I did for my Commonplace Journal:

LOVE this crowd shot:

Such a great line:

It's kinda a joyful, F-you song.

They took a page from Robert Smith's Fashion Book with the lipstick--and happy music with some edgy lyrics.  :-)

Emotional Math

If you loved yourself half as much as I do, it would be twice as much as you do.

This phrase came to me as I was thinking of a conversation with a friend. She'd given herself a good flogging for behaviour she didn't like in herself. Behaviour that seemed innocuous to me--perhaps because I do it too?

Do you beat yourself up so others won't beat you to the punch?

Part of changing a behaviour is just noticing it. Then what? Once it's brought to conscious awareness you get to choose. One thing I'm asking myself these days is:

Are you enjoying yourself?

If you are, accept it and revel in it. Eat the bowl of ice-cream without the guilt. It tastes better. If you're not, then the question is:

What do you want instead?

Guilt & shame add a layer of emotional frosting that keep the patterned behaviour in place. It guarantees that we'll be eating that cake in the future because what we feel shame about, we try to hide. Sometimes we hide it so well that we're not aware of it ourselves. That's denial.

We keep secrets because we think others will think less of us. The truth is that you are worthy of love just because you are.

Accomplishment

This is a picture of the day my mother showed me around the house "just to look." It didn't take too long after that to decide to make the move. Prominent in the photo is the woodstove, which I thought I would never use. HA. HA.

Then it got cold-very-cold. And I had my first oil delivery. And was prompted to give the woodstove a go. Afterall, I grew up with wood heat. My Pioneer Sister has a beautiful, original, pot-bellied stove. I have a huge woodshed FULL of wood. How hard could it be? HA. HA.

Is the flue open? asked my mother as I regailed her with tales of fire-starting failures. You've got to have the flue OPEN. OK. I retreated to the library with a space heater. Nice and toasty. I was talking to my boss about the wood stove. Is the flue open? he says. Hehhh....

Then Fisherman Willie gave me firestarters for Christmas. Is the damper open? You've got to have the damper open. I said, "You know, I keep hearing about this mysterious damper-flue. How do I know it's OPEN?????" So he helped me start a fire, and eventually I learned not to let it go out. It's much easier to keep it going than to have to start a new one every morning. I've made quite a dent in the woodpile.

So here's my thought: we get a sense of accomplishment from doing. Whatever it is: learning a new skill, or creating something, or completing a task--that is the foundation for self-esteem. It is the YAY, me! place where you know without a doubt that you are good at something. You don't need validation from anyone else, you have complete ownership of the skill. And now, in the area of woodstoving...YAY, me! All cozy-toasty in the cold.