THE SCREAMING WILHELMS #10

This is one of those ideas that seem good and sensible at 2 or 3 in the morning, but then later in the fully awake part of the next day you wonder what you were thinking.

See more of The Screaming Wilhelms by clicking HERE.

BEST VALENTINE'S DAY GIFT I EVER GOT

A commercial grade popcorn machine! It can make 2 gallons of popcorn at a time! I think it's about 5 feet tall.

Watch it go!

DANCING SKELETON PUPPET

I saw this video a while back but had forgotten how good it was. Even knowing it's not real, it seems absolutely real to me. He's got personality and stylish moves. I like the second half of the video best. He looks into the money hat and then weeps at the pitiful amount. I also like how he stops everything he's doing to take the time to watch the pretty girls walking by. Too bad the Ed Sullivan Show isn't still on. I bet this skeleton would have been a huge hit back then. It's somewhat depressing to know a puppeteer this talented isn't already rich and famous, and is reduced to working street corners.

TARGET STACKS ITS MEAT THE SAME AS ME

Here's a drawing I made in 2009:

LINK

And here's a range cover I saw for sale at Target a couple days ago.

What are the odds of this?

After I think about it, it is logical if you want to draw farm animals these would be the three main animals. And if you want to stack farm animals it is wise to go in descending weight order so maybe everyone would stack farm animals that way.

UNUSUAL CHINESE STUFF I SAW

I saw these all over China. They were small plastic boxes located in every nook and cranny, every where I went, even on little boats. At first when I saw one I thought it was some kind of funny joke product like you'd find in Spencers: a man in a business suit, in a clenched-fist action pose, with either a robot mask or space helmet. But it wasn't that! It was real!

Inside is a fire escape hood. These were in all the apartment complexes too, located where you'd normally find fire extinguishers. The odd thing was I never saw any fire extinguishers. They never had enough of these though. If there really was a fire only a small percentage of the people would be able to get out alive.

These were popular too. Kung Fu restaurants with Bruce Lee as the mascot. Sadly I didn't get to eat at one. Maybe next time.

See the girl in the white t-shirt in the lower right? What's her shirt say?

Here's another angle. I suspect she doesn't know what it says. Mei says Chinese people like English lettering the way we like Chinese characters. Sometimes Mei will whisper to me when she sees an American with a Chinese character tattoo. She will tell me the meaning and I'm sure the person with the tattoo doesn't know that's what it says. One time it said "smell" and another time it said "hooker." Mei said sometimes it takes a second character to clarify the meaning. Some characters are used for a variety of meanings. It looked cool though in spite of the actual meaning.

I FOUND SOME FINGER PUPPETS

At the Hot Topic store in the mall they're selling weird little monster finger puppets. I found two different sets.

There's a zombie set, and a set of strange guys I can't quite figure out. They aren't exactly monsters but they aren't people either. Both sets oddly have six characters each, which is like selling a set of three shoes.
I really like finding little goofy things like this. They put me in the mood to doodle. Lately my home is getting pretty full of junk so I'm not able to get large items anymore. These things are so tiny they blend fairly unnoticeably into a drawer. Also since they aren't famous character products they're really cheap.

ADORABLE AL CAPONE KEEPSAKE BOX

This was so weird I had to get it. We went to Chicago Chinatown and I saw this in a gift shop. It's a precious little ceramic box with a sweet little brass bow tie latch on it, and it just happens to glorify a horrible scoundrel. Right on!

Here's the right side. See the little bullet holes? Cute, huh? I know it!

The left side:

The back has a beautiful signature in the handwriting style of the man himself, fired permanently into the ceramic. It's the little details that make it so special. It's a keepsake to be treasured and passed on through the generations.
My Grandma used to live in Chicago back in the 1920s and 30s with her dad, mom, and a bunch of siblings. She always had lots of stories about the good ol' days. I remember one gangster-related story she told me.

One time her entire family was in the car waiting at a red light, and another car pulled up beside. She said there were some men in the other car and they all had guns. According to her they were holding Thompson machine guns. These men intently studied each face in my Grandma's car, one at a time. When they'd seen every face and decided these weren't the people they were looking for, the men drove on down the street and were gone.

I remember being just old enough to do the math in my head. "Hmm... If they'd have killed Grandma then my mom wouldn't have been born! Then who'd take care of me?! Where would I live?!"

PRETTY SPECIAL MOVIE DEATH SCENE

Right before he dies he makes a shrugging hand gesture as if to say, "So? Big deal. I've seen better."

WOODEN PLIERS

This weird thing has been in a desk drawer for 2 decades now. It's a wooden pair of pliers with extra littler pliers built in here and there. I made it back when I was a teenager with a coping saw and an X-Acto blade; hence the cuts are crooked and rough. It's difficult to get a good angle of it so I took a few pictures.

Here's the 2nd one and it isn't any more clear.

And yet another difficult-to-understand photo.

You can fold the tiny pliers handles in to make it look like this.

Then you can fold the medium-size pliers handles in. It looks like regular a regular pair of pliers now, sort of.

When you fold the big pliers handles together it settles into its original form, a stick.
This was not my idea. I saw a picture of one in a book a long time ago and wished I had one. Since they didn't sell them at the store the only alternative was to make it myself.

To make one of your own there isn't really any pattern for it. Just start with a square stick and do the biggest pair of pliers first. Cut as much as you can with a coping saw (or preferably a scroll saw), and then do the rest with a very long, skinny, thin carving blade. Just keep working your way to the middle of the wood, going at it from both sides and meeting in the middle. Take your time and don't force anything too hard. Eventually you'll feel the pieces separate.

Once you get the biggest pliers handles completed, do the same thing in half(?) scale to each handle, and then quarter(?) scale to those new handles. Whatever the scale would be. It's math; therefore it's magic and mystery, and does not compute in my head.

STRANGE GIRL WEIGHT-LIFTER

This is one of the weirder Youtube videos I've seen. It's one that sticks in my mind days after I've seen it. Now I'm posting it here because I like thinking I'm not the only one had to see it. It's old but I suspect not everyone in the world has seen it yet.

This girl makes the weirdest mouth noises while trying to lift her weights, and strains so hard she pees on the floor. Then she smears it with her shoe to hide the evidence even though she did it on camera. There's something about the way she nonchalantly smears it which makes me think it happens to her a lot, and it's no big deal. I think if she's straining THAT hard she's probably tearing something up on the inside.

HORRIBLE LOST BEATLES RECORDING

BREAKING NEWS! This just in. Here is a very rare and impossible-to-find Beatles track from 1963. It's an early outtake of their classic song "This Boy." Although you heard it here first, you probably won't thank me. Remember though, I'm just the messenger. Do not hate me for being the bearer of bad news.

I DIDN'T THINK I LIKED THE WIGGLES UNTIL I SAW THIS

I realize I'm pretty late in the game, but this is my 1st exposure to the Wiggles. My nephew loves them and I wanted to see what all the hubbub was about. Yikes! Now I know.

BIG LOTS NEEDS TO BE MORE SELECTIVE

I find the flavor to be highly offensive.

And they spelled "Pooping Candy" wrong.

OLD ALFRED E. NEWMAN RING

Here's an old ring with the MAD Magazine mascot on it. I'm not sure of the year. I like it because at a glance, and without very close inspection, it passes as a nice dress-up ring. You could wear it to a wedding or a funeral.

It's adjustable!

AVATAR MOVIE POSTER AND A DENIM JACKET

I was noticing the other day how similar these 2 images were. I know it doesn't mean anything; I just thought it was interesting.

FILIPINO BATMAN AND ROBIN

ATTENTION: SPOILER ALERT!

If you plan on watching the Filipino Batman and Robin movie some time in your life, don't watch this video and see the wonderously magical ending.

MATH IS HARD part 2

This is another version of the last post, which proves math is hard. I can't figure out how to type the line over the 9 to make "POINT NINE REPEATING" so I will write it like this: .999999.....

-------
(If I start with this)

X = .99999....
-------
(And then I multiply each side by 10)

10X = 9.99999....
-------
(Since X = .999999... that's how much I will subtract from each side to reduce)

9X = 9
-------
(Now I divide each side by 9 to reduce again)

X = 1
------------

But earlier X = .9999....

So does this prove 1 = .999999......?

I wish I'd have known about this in school so I could have explained the futility of learning math. That would have saved a lot of time. Maybe my teacher would have said, "Yes, go out and play until we fix math. No sense in teaching it until we get all the bugs worked out."

MATH IS HARD

Does this make sense?

1/3 = .3333333....


The what's up with this?

1/3 = .3333333....
1/3 = .3333333....
+ 1/3 = .3333333....
------------------------
1 = .9999999....

If you were using a ruler to measure something then .9 REPEATING is basically one. Technically it's not really equal though, right?

IF YOU DON'T HATE PAUL REISER AFTER SEEING THIS PICTURE I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO TELL YOU

I guess one reason I hate him is for the fact that he thinks everyone's dumb enough to fall for his fake hair.

AAAND!!! If you are gonna give yourself fake hair, why do it this way? Why not give yourself a nice human style?

MORE WEIRD BABY CELL PHONE CHARMS

Here are some more cell phone charms I got in China. They are so similar to the smoking babies I wonder if they are related. They both have poochy bulging eyes and huge heads, and they are doing something inappropriate for babies.

Instead of glamorizing cigarettes these babies come with guns. Their purpose is to glamorize war I guess. People in China aren't allowed to have guns so they don't really need to tell anyone "Think about your children before you gonna sooht."
BANG!

I recognize most of the military hats but not the yellow Gilligan-ish hat.