this weeks uptade

I have received many comments about how it is such a good thing that I can openly talk about my fight with the insomnia/anxiety and depression.  One of the leaders from our church, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, said this concerning any mental illness or emotional disorders:

"We sense the complexity of such matters when we hear professionals speak of neuroses and psychoses, of genetic predispositions and chromosome defects, of bipolarity, paranoia, and schizophrenia. However bewildering this all may be, these afflictions are some of the realities of mortal life, and there should be no more shame in acknowledging them than in acknowledging a battle with high blood pressure or the sudden appearance of a malignant tumor."
Jeffery R. Holland

I guess I just really believe that!  I REALLY want anyone enduring those kinds of conditions to believe that. And I really want to get better! 

I feel happy with where I am at right now, usually I am SO eager to be functioning at my optimum level, but right now I ACTUALLY feel patient!!!  (maybe for the first time in my life where my physical and emotional health is concerned.) I was so inspired by my cousins insights into trying to find some SPIRITUAL healing to help the PHYSICAL healing along, and by the relationship she had developed with Heavenly Father and his plan for HER and her set of talents and challenges. I am feeling like I will PATIENTLY and DILIGENTLY try to let truth clarify some of my misperceptions, or unrealistic expectations for myself.   Instead of trying to get things "back to normal" I am open to slowly trying to come into an even better "normal." The one the Lord knew was possible for me at this stage of my development.  This to me is my biggest success and I'm grateful for the Lord, all the help he is sending through friends and family and the medication that are collectively holding me afloat while I work through this all!