Why does Barbie need a dog that poops?
I'm sitting in my semi-delirious state (5 days sick now, and about to break down and go to a dr) appreciating the fact that Avatar: The Last Airbender has my kids attention for 30 minutes. That's 30 minutes that I probably won't have to move. And it's 30 minutes we're not watching "Barbie and the Twelve Dancing Princesses", which we have seen more than two dozen times in the past 4 days.
And like raw brocolli across my raw throat comes the grating sound of ... Barbie. Noooo!!! Make it stop! But it's not Barbie and her eleven sisters (one set of twins and one set of triplets, if you're wondering at the whole 12 sisters part). It's "Barbie Doll & Tanner Dog".
Just as I'm relaxing, I realize that Mattel has gone too far. This dog doesn't just fetch like a real dog, and doesn't just love treats like a real dog. This dog poops. Craps. Relives himself of solid waste - "goes potty" as the website says.
Why, Mattel? Why would you think even for a second that Barbie needs a dog that poops? What mother of little children, and likely cats / dogs / other living animals, wants to chase plastic poop around her house when she's got plenty of the real thing to worry about?
Unable to believe my eyes, I had my son rewind the TiVo so we could watch it again. Yep, that dog is popping out the poop on tv. Although really, it looks more like rabbit poop than Golden Retriever poop - if real Goldens had pellet turds instead of those big stinkin' mounds my sister-in-laws dog lays down, the world would be a happier place. But even fake pellet shit doesn't have a place in my house.
Right now, I'm thinking two things. If anyone gives my daughter Tanner the Crapping Dog for any reason, that person will go on my .... er, crap list. (Sorry, couldn't resist.) And second, I bet this thing is going to have great resale value on eBay.
I've gotta rememeber to check Walmart, if I'm ever healthy enough to shop again.
And like raw brocolli across my raw throat comes the grating sound of ... Barbie. Noooo!!! Make it stop! But it's not Barbie and her eleven sisters (one set of twins and one set of triplets, if you're wondering at the whole 12 sisters part). It's "Barbie Doll & Tanner Dog".
Just as I'm relaxing, I realize that Mattel has gone too far. This dog doesn't just fetch like a real dog, and doesn't just love treats like a real dog. This dog poops. Craps. Relives himself of solid waste - "goes potty" as the website says.
Why, Mattel? Why would you think even for a second that Barbie needs a dog that poops? What mother of little children, and likely cats / dogs / other living animals, wants to chase plastic poop around her house when she's got plenty of the real thing to worry about?
Unable to believe my eyes, I had my son rewind the TiVo so we could watch it again. Yep, that dog is popping out the poop on tv. Although really, it looks more like rabbit poop than Golden Retriever poop - if real Goldens had pellet turds instead of those big stinkin' mounds my sister-in-laws dog lays down, the world would be a happier place. But even fake pellet shit doesn't have a place in my house.
Right now, I'm thinking two things. If anyone gives my daughter Tanner the Crapping Dog for any reason, that person will go on my .... er, crap list. (Sorry, couldn't resist.) And second, I bet this thing is going to have great resale value on eBay.
I've gotta rememeber to check Walmart, if I'm ever healthy enough to shop again.
Posted by K.A.S. at 5:36 PM::
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2 Comments:
I hope you feel better. Mattel has done some horrifying things. Do you remember the Skipper doll whose breasts would "develop" when you twisted her arm? lol. I think its pretty subversive actually. :)
Wow. I thought you were joking about Barbie and her dog -- I had to go to the website and check.
Yikes!
Thank goodness I don't have Barbie-loving kids in my house.
Feel better!
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