EQ?

My boss tells me I have no EQ.
Then, she corrected herself by saying that it's not that I don't have EQ, just that I need more.
And I really ponder over her statement (which she really repeated a lot of times and told me today I need to have coaching session with her).

Do I really have no EQ??!!


These days, I seem to be at the mercy of everyone else.
Especially a person whom I'll name as Wong.
I still don't know what wrong I've done to her,
except that it probably appeared to her that I was pushy over some issues which will be to her disadvantage.
She'll really treat me as tranparent.
Not that it really mattered to me,
but it'll make my job difficult.
And my boss may think I really have no EQ.

I also don't know when I started having no EQ.
Or low EQ.
It never occurred to me in this way.

To make matters worse,
I think a couple of people really hate me.
Squeaks appear to hate me to the core for no apparent reason.
(maybe she has realised or heard that I don't like her?)
She'll just ignore me,
and be cordial to the rest.
but I still would like to keep a cordial working relationship with her.
Because we work together.
(ok, ya, I'm a brat. I have a weird thing for wanting to be on good terms with everyone!! but so??!! I like mah!!)

The others, I am not that sure.
'Cos I just got transferred to another team.
So many unfamiliar faces.
Unfamiliar unhappy unfriendly faces.

So I tried to be nice (I'm usually nicer to strangers).
But I realised I also need to set some buffer or what I would call "line" since I am their coaches in order to perform and function as one when they get outta hand.
I was seeking that balance which I know it's hard to attain.
Been trying to build that rapport.
but I must say, I am really lucky to have these group as my coachees.
I'm impressed with their level of teamwork and discipline.
just need a little fix-ups and pushes here and there.

I was like I'm back to the OJT days,
but I tried to take it on a positive note.
Somehow, I feel very tired to be going through the whole thing again.
But have to "ying zhe tou pi, shang".

At alot of moments, I feel demoralised.
And I realised it's the human relationships which upsets me a lot of times.
And I dunno what to do except encouraging myself to work on with my clients.
It's very much easy to work with them and feel that sense of satisfaction.

I love my job,
but I hate the fact that I've gotta deal with some colleagues who don't separate work from personal feelings.
I'm counselling myself most of the times,
just to feel less depressed and demoralised.

Sigh~
And I wonder what is really wrong with me.
And why I keep letting such negative feelings get in my way.
Sometimes I just wanna get things done, but end up hurting others' feeling unknowingly in the process.

To those whom I have hurt unknowingly,
I'm SORRY!
It was never anything personal!
I was just trying to get my job done!!!!!

I am just depressed again...
I should really free from others' opinion.
And try not be affected by them.

But how to when I am who I am???

R-e-S-t

Finally!!!!!!!

I really am in great need of rest leh.

The long awaited rest!!!

yeah!!!

hhehehee

ZzZzZz
for now :)

Re-read this!

Re-reading my last blog,

I realised it did not come out the way I meant...

What i wanted to say, was actually,
How I've learnt to come to understand how to give appropriate comments at the right moment.
Not that I am affected by other people's comments...
:)
It's a misunderstanding :P
because I didn't pen down whatever I was thinking inside accurately :P

What I REALLY meant,
was that,

I have LEARNT how to give comments loh!!

:)

confusion says...

Went to the Book fair at Expo with bui instead of Lia yesterday...
(cos kena "dua" by Lia, but nvr mind :) am on peace mode)

Wah!!!
So many books leh!!!
In the end, got 4 books!!
hehehe, which is rare for me since I hardly buy books.

Bui and I then had a discussion...

And I was sharing with her, the helpnessless that I feel with dealing with some of my clients.
I feel tied down by the constraints of the system.

Eventually, bui convinced me,
Maybe it's really how much I want to help too.

I guess, in a way, destiny really played a part in my recent transfer to my present unit,
where there are lesser clients, whom need that extra bit of attention.
It gives me the time and space to ponder over my role,
and how I should execute my duties.

there's so much I wished I can pen down here,
but I can't, because of the sensitive content.

Sigh~~~~

It's finally over!

Phew!

The presentation is finally over!!!

Over the past month, I have been sooo busy and stressed with this presentation that I have no time for anything else.

Glad that it's finally done, and no matter the result, I am just happy that it's over.

Have learnt lots in the process,
and saw the different reactions from people I know after it.
Realised something:

You can choose to give positive comments to encourage one, if what is done cannot be undo.
Or, you can go on and say : " Aiyah, just now you are too soft liao, so fast some more, should do this and that."
Your choice of response can either be words of encouragement,
or words that can further demoralise the person.

Not that it was intentionally meant to demoralise one, but it will seem as if to the person.

I've now learnt to "selectively" listen.
So that these criticism becomes a constructive feedback for me,
to know where my weakness is and improve in it in future :)