Can you bear your heart with us?

Good morning Sisters! It's a beautiful Saturday - I'm sitting here in front of my laptop enjoying my homemade almond milk latte, trying to ignore the plethora of toddler toys glittered on the carpet, jealous of my ministry sisters at a California chapter getting to listen to a Catholic big-wig coming to speak the next couple of hours. The Husband is next to me on his iPhone, absentmindedly skimming through Facebook and IMBD. The baby is finally napping.

This healthy jealousy rouses a question in me - how do we promote a more active, encouraging online community on the HeartofMaryWF.com site?

Since creating the website just a short 32 days ago - it has boomed into an extraordinary life-filled, life-giving ministry. There's so much on there - bible study, devotion, encouragement to participate more fully in our Catholic faith, support to fall more in love with God, artfully beautifully, feminine  smart phone screen savers, Instagram posts - but I feel as though something more is missing. Our sisters are reading (I see the blog statistics growing each day). But what is it?? What's the missing link?

As I Google today, prayerfully going through different search engine entry options, it hits me: We are reading the devotions, but we are not responding to them. We are listening to the devotions, but we are not vocalizing our hearts. We are not utilizing this online community to its potential.

We are a community. An assembly of Sisters. We must encourage one another. We must also be vulnerable. This is a big, big request Sisters. Can you bear your heart with us? Can you encourage your Sisters online? When we read a study or a devotion - we do nothing with it, we benefit nothing from it, if we do not express our hearts and what we learn from it. This could be within the quiet personal writings of a prayer journal. It could be sharing your heart over coffee with a dear friend. But it can also be in an online setting. Your Sisters are going through similar things as you. You can bless them by sharing with them how our amazing, just God is loving on you. You are not alone. We are not alone. Do not stay away from your assembly. We need encouragement from each other.

xo,

Let Me Walk Upon The Waters

"Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders. Let me walk upon the waters, wherever You would call me." - Oceans, Lyrics by Hillsong United

 This past weekend I attended a Young Adult Retreat in High Springs, FL. I was part of a group of about 75, looking to see what what in store in a retreat titled "Trust in the Lord."

Many beautiful things happened during this weekend. And many memorable things too. I camped. ( I don't camp - so this is quite memorable. Thank goodness it ended up being more like glamping!) I got food poisoning. Yikes! I took the beautiful 2 ½ hour drive solo and got to enjoy the Central Florida roads in springtime. We participated in mass everyday and read the Liturgy of the Hours. My small group leader was a smart, hilarious, devout, sassy nun from Connecticut (Sisters of Life) & we heard testimonies from other young adults & CFRs. Confession was offered all day (12 hours) on Saturday. A healing Eucharistic Procession took place. Of it all, the most impactful part of the weekend was both the Eucharistic Procession (a story for another time) and our 30 minute session of Lectio Divina.

Grab a cup of coffee & come back. I'm going to re-rewrite my exact words of what I journaled from Lectio Divina. This will be a little bit longer of a post, so really, grab that cup of coffee. I'll wait.

...ready?

April 5, 2014. Lectio Divina
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Lectio: Matthew 14:22-33 Walking on Water

It's 4 am. Salty, cold air hitting the boat; whipping the face. Hands burning from pulling the ropes so hard. Sails blowing in the haphazard, wild gusts. The sea is charcoal, its jaws of white tipped waves biting at them.
When Jesus walked, though the waves hurled and the wind blew, they did not effect Him.
Peter yelled out "Command Me!"
Peter pulled up his robe. With both hands on the side of the unstable boat, he put one foot out onto the water - which felt even and sturdy. Then another foot. The disciples stood in silence. Peter walked. There was no noise. The waves could only be seen in his periphery.
Then Peter looked down.
He started to sink.

Medidatio

Peter asked Jesus to command to do something extraordinary. But Peter doubted Jesus - doubting that God could really perform a miracle using him, for him. Peter sank. Peter needed to be saved from his own request of the extraordinary.

Oratio
"Command Me"

Contempatio

Jesus, I ask you to commission me. Recently, I've asked that you give me a mission as the missionary spirit has been stirring.
But I see Peter's response and realize that I worry - once I get the extraordinary I doubt it - its truth, its awesomeness, its beauty, its grace.
I doubt the extraordinary. It's so easy to distrust the extraordinary. I feel like extreme faith is needed. And that's a faith I don't think I have.
Help me to believe and trust the extraordinary. I live my life ignoring it. What about You in the Monstrance? What about all the graces You & Mother Mary provide? I act like it's no big deal - no, I act like I say it exists but treat it like it really doesn't. I don't glorify You in these things. I do not boast  of You. I act egotistical. I act "too cool". Let me soak in them and be drunk in them. Let me cherish them and appreciate them. Let me yearn for them and recognize the gift that they are when I encounter them.

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Throughout the retreat the song "Oceans" followed me. And on the drive home. And I've heard it everyday on the radio since. I think God is calling me to hike up my robe, grab hold of the boat, and flip my feet over to the other side. Because "in oceans deep, my faith will stand."

xo,