I might regret sharing this.

I wasn't going to share this with you because I'm not overly proud of it but then Dana went and talked about being all honest and stuff so .... here it goes.

Last month I was singing for my mom's birthday. It was something like three to four hours long. In that time someone (my mother) happened to catch a little footage. Because I always talk about singing and crap I figure I'm obligated to share this with all of you.

The song is Peel Me A Grape. I couldn't remember all the words so when it looks like my eyes are closed I was actually trying to read my sheet music set up next to me. If I sang with my eyes closed all the time I would probably fall over. I still fall over but it's usually because I had one drink too many. Anyway, it was a fun party. I was glad I had the chance to sing for my grandparents again. It had only been about a decade or so.

I hope it wasn't too painful for you and if it was... Bite Me.

Thanks for listening!

Hmmmmm......

My computer is a little bitch and doesn't turn on most of the time. I beat her profusely and still she refuses to obey. Because of her disobedience my life has been hard to chronicle and share with you. As you may know by now, I have little to no memory and forget what I did just an hour ago. That might be an exaggeration but it certainly is hard to keep track of things when you don't have much order to your life. So let's see what you might have missed.... hmmm.....

Last weekend I went camping in the Poconos with some friends. We spent one day White Water Rafting in the freezing rain. It was awesome and miserable. It rained that whole night at the campsite which made our raging campfire smoke even more. I invented the SMOKEBAG to protect my precious eyes. Basically I wore my hooded plastic poncho backwards. Yes, it is hard to breath with plastic covering your face. I was sharing a tent with a really gorgeous chick and her wet dog. As hot as that might sound I can assure you it wasn't. We did giggle like schoolgirls at the sound of our friends getting it on a few tents away. It was like Girl Scouts all over again. Hmmmm....

Last week Sky surprised me by telling me to be at a certain location by 5:30 and when I arrived they informed me he got me an aromatherapy manicure and pedicure. He isn't really the type to do this sort of thing so it really shocked me. How sweet right? Now I must wonder what he did wrong. Hmmmm....

I think I did lots of other things this week but they must have been comparatively insignificant. So what do we have to look forward to in the week to come? Let's check the calendar. Selling more collagen and the annual Pap Smear. Hmmmm...

My New Dream

I have a dream. A wonderful dream blog friends. And you are in it and you are in it and yes, even you! A couple nights ago, in a mildly drunken stupor, I stumbled upon a brilliant idea. It is my new life dream and all I need to make it happen is a motercycle, a video camera, and your address.

Here I am preparing for the voyage.



You see, I just want to meet you all so much that I would like to take this blog on the road. The biggest hurdle (other than the fact that I will never have the money to accomplish this) would be convincing you that it's safe to meet me. It is, I promise. I've already come up with date ideas for us! For instance, I could bike down to Arkansas and hit up all the best strip clubs with Jay. Then go to Bagwine for a pub crawl. Perhaps I could get Dianne to attend a Brooklyn Burlesque show with me. Then off to to the south for a FULL glass of wine with Farmer's Wife. She doesn't just taste test you know. I have to catch one of Gary's open studios and then flirt with his neighbor and my long time crush Ben. I have ideas for everybody! Now, don't you think this would be an interesting voyage to follow via video? Hell, you can get a motercycle too and join me. We can become a blogger motercycle gang.

Or maybe I'm dreaming too big.
*sigh* If only. If only dreams really did come true.

I WAS ATTACKED....

BY ELVES! Well okay, maybe I was attacked by myself. Yesterday I was using the tiny knife on the wine opener to cut some cardboard and I stabbed it right into my hand. Turns out even with my bad circulation I have lots of blood flowing between my thumb and pointer finger. That little thing gushed all the way across the room and even hit the mirror hung six feet in the air. The cut really wasn't all that bad but the amount of blood scared the hell out of me. In my panic I started calling people in an effort to be told what to do. I was holding a towel like it was the only thing keeping me from falling off a building and trying to make phone calls with the other hand. Of course nobody picked up the phone. It was the middle of the day and apparently everyone I know has a life. Luckily Casey is the person who called me back. Being that he is an ER nurse he is the only person whose opinion I really trusted anyway. He came over while I cleaning up the blood and, disappointed that he missed the scene, bandaged up my hand. It really wasn't all that bad so he was probably annoyed he made the trip but it was still nice to have the reassurance you don't need stitches. Thanks for being there Case.

Have you ever tried washing your hair with one arm? It's surprisingly difficult.

Why don't I come here more often?

I used to love my blog. I loved building connections with other bloggers. I loved having an outlet. I don't remember why I created it in the first place but over time my blog became the diary I never had. It was a place I could hash out some thoughts or talk about what was happening in my life both good and bad. Ever since I lost my job I've written less and less. It's been a hard time for me. It's been hard to own up to it and it's been even harder to express what it's doing to my head. I miss using this outlet. I wish I could force myself back into the world because I think it could really help me get organized. I miss a lot of you out there that I used to communicate with almost daily. I wish I hadn't lost touch. UGH! I want to start over. Right now. I hope I do. I hope I'm back here tomorrow. I would promise but I don't want to be a liar.

Night.
- Knight