I remember seeing the NASTIEST COMB-OVER on a bus between Taipei and Hsinchu. The man, maybe 50 or so. Bald crown. I sat behind him, so I can't tell you about the frontal lobe.

Ok, let's talk about combovers first. According to Wikipedia.com, "A comb over is a hairstyle worn by bald or balding men where the hair on one side of the head is grown long and then combed over the bald area." The accompanying diagram (also from Wikipedia) is subtitled "The comb-over hairstyle (U.S. Patent 4,022,227)". Patented in 1977. Ummm... ok. I don't know how you can patent a hairstyle, but alright. There are variations such as the "comb forward" and and the "comb back". These all have a similar goal of cover a bald spot discretely to not draw attention to common male pattern baldness. But com'on, let's be truthful, no combovers are successful. They will all turn out ugly. It just depends on how ugly. And yes, there IS a combover.com website with pictures.

Now, let's talk about MR. NASTYHEAD. From my angle, his so-called "replacement hair" came from the right side, sort of up and in a clockwise swoosh. The problem with this combover was that the hair was clumped together into bands. Maybe four clumps in all, each coming to a tip. I saw him try to sort it out, but brushing his right hand fingers through his hair, attempting to push it backwards into place. But no... they did not go into place. They stopped listening to him halfway and fell short of their goal. So, it kind of looked like raptor claws reaching around and grabbing a shiny ball from below. Just awful. I don't want to be mean, but he had Tony the Tiger strips across the back of his globe.

I wanted to get up from my seat, pull out a comb from my bag, and comb it out for him; but I didn't have a comb in my bag. So instead, I just snickered.

Now as I was giggling to myself, it started to make me wonder... what would I do if I were balding? Giving that I think I am predisposed to MPB, I should give this some serious thought. I would think about shaving my head, but I have an irregularly-shaped skull with a slight dip in the middle. Clearly, letting my leftover mane grow long would make me quite popular with the women, but only because I'd look like the aged Hulk Hogan (albeit without the stature and the 20" pythons). So, I guess I would just cut what hair I have short, and keep things neat. There really aren't many great solutions, I suppose. Rogaine?

For the guys, what would you do?
For the girls, if your man was losing hair, what would you suggest him do?

I have fruit flies. Bred in captivity (i.e. my place). I'm not proud of it at all.

Since 1.5 days ago, the death toll stands at 34, and rising. There are still survivors.

I know my folks, who read my blog, will tell me that I must have food out, that my place is dirty, etc. And it's not! I don't really leave food out (although I am guilty of leaving empty glasses of orange juice overnight once in a while) and my place isn't that dirty.

Well, this is the general breakdown of the cause of deaths.

• approx 10 killed by the home remedy provided by Kel: sugar + dishwashing detergent + water
  
• approx ~2 found dead by themselves - just keeled over and died!
  
• approx ~22 killed by yours truly - by hand and foot (really, I squashed a few with my feet)*

*I found an effective way to attract fruit flies last night. I turn on my TV and switch it to Video 1 (which is a blue screen if there is no signal). The fruit flies seem to like it, and they fly up and walk around on the TV screen. At that point, Kevin's hand comes along and WHACK! Assassinated. And the glass screen also makes it easy to wipe excess bug. In < 10 mins, I killed 5 or 6 this way.

Anyway, this is where you guys go "EEWWWWWWWwww!!".

I think I would get along with myself. I think my attitude towards others is about the same as what I'd like to receive from others. At least that's what I think. I sometimes make silly comments (for example, in reply to a question) that other people might find humorous, but that I probably wouldn't find so funny when I'm waiting to get a serious answer. And I could probably think of a few examples where I would totally piss myself off, but other than those few rare moments, I think we would get along well.

I'm sure there are a lot of people who do/say things that would tick them off if it were done/said to them. I have a coworker who is pretty impatient with others and has a terse attitude when speaking to people. At the same time, he also seems like the kind of person who can't stand being treated disrespectfully. He wouldn't get along with himself.

The topic here isn't whether other people would get along with you, but simply whether you would get along with an exact replica of yourself - maybe not physically (because no one wants to see your ugly mug twice), but in attitude, personality, speech, nuances, habits, and so on. They say opposites attract. So, do duplicates repel?

So... would you?

According to this article, Taiwan is losing its grip on piracy.

The Taiwanese need to reset a long term goal of being Market Leader in piracy. Those Chinese Mainlanders across the way are diligent. They have a clear population advantage and a booming movie-viewing demographic. The Taiwanese need to establish a competitive position through quality piracy. Gone are the days of head-bobbing in-theatre bootlegs. Today, only production house espionage, "For Academy Award Consideration", and straight DVD-to-DVD burns are worthy of satisfying the craving movie-watching community.

As with most industries, there's bound to be adversity. Multimedia piracy has been met with anti-piracy task forces, competition from Torrents, and haters. But with moderate effort, I think this black market will rise above those setbacks and succeed. Coalitions and co-operation between underground independent operators will only make the market demand stronger. Lower prices, promotions, and spreading the word through Piracy Awareness Programs - letting people know that such things exist and can be purchased - are viable solutions to expanding the Taiwanese piracy cause.

There's still a long way to go, but I think we can do it!!

My new coworker's name is Benjamin. SHE started today.

A lot of Taiwanese people (and Chinese people) have odd English names. Many of them seem so random, so wrong, so that's-not-a-name. It's partly because people want to have original names. They think Kevin's too common, Wendy's too common, so they start making up names.

Running through the employee list, here are a few strange ones. They can be categorized into The Adjectives, The Misspellt, and The Say-What?. None of these names are directly translated from their Chinese names. I also put these names through a search in thinkbabynames.com to weed out a few rare names that are actually names.

The Adjectives:
Happy [M] (I'm sure you are)
Smart [M] (actually, this one's from China)

The Misspellt:
Jully [F]
Tomson [M]
Jamy [M]

The Say-What?:
Acme [M] (This was chosen using closed eyes and a finger in a dictionary)
Dinlin [F] (I'm sorry...?)
Dis [M] (Would hate to get Dis'ed)
Jaw [M] (like, hit you in the...?)
Jurcy [M] (MMmmm, them oranges sure are Jurcy...)
Manton [M] (means: "Man's or hero's town")
Morven [F] (Not sure how she chose this...)
Pagan [M] (means: "Countryman", but has come to mean "heathen")
Rabi [M] (I will be at the Bar Mitzvah)
Samun [M] (My favorite type of sashimi)
Solo [M] (He must idolize Mario Van Peebles)

And my absolute favorite employee name at my company is:
Captain [M]

Any odd names you've heard?

Ay ay, and Goodbye!!

Feeding Frenzy

Mid-Autumn Festival, one of the biggest holidays in Chinese culture, is upon us. We had a M.A.F. celebration last night, which I helped organize (as a member of the Employee Committee). We had a KTV (karaoke) contest, as well as a buffet, on the 7th floor of our building. It was a busy day, getting things prepared for the 6:30pm start. The catering was poorly timed, as the first shipment of food arrived at 5:30pm, but the second shipment hadn't arrived at 6:30pm. Not long after 6:30pm, there was a trickle of a few employees arriving... and the crack turned to a hole as the entire company flooded through the staircase and elevator doors.

The second shipment hadn't arrived, and we didn't have any plates or utensils. Now here's where things got interesting. We have a company of 200+ people... mainly computer engineers and highly-educated... but lacking in sophistication. As they arrived, they headed straight to the food. Seeing that there were no plates, they just started picking with their hands. The saran wrap hadn't even been taken off the food trays!! Most of the food could be considered finger food, but not all. Everyone swarmed the buffet table instead of filing in a line working from left to right. It was like a pack of wilderbees coming across a river in the Serengeti during a drought. Very very surprising how lowly these people looked, picking at food with their hands. Eventually, the cupboards were opened and we had people use small plates, small bowls, and cups to eat. I saw some employees using their own tupperware as bowls. It was one big mess of people. Good thing I ate before we started. :)

As AC says, Taiwanese people have too much freedom; so much that they cross the line to having no rules or manners. Ain't that a fact.

Marketing is a beautiful thing. It can take a mundane P.O.S. and make it sound fabulous with everything you want. Ever think what you might call some everyday things if you had the power?

• Hundai Justenough


• Pontiac AtoBbutnotC


• A box of Kleenex WetSnotOnYourHands


• Randy River Shink-in-Wash shirts


• Versace OverPriced&Ugly Signature Fall line-up


• Perrier Fizzypee


• Adidas notSuitableForDroopyBalls running shorts


• McDonald's McLardass, McCalories, McLovehandles

How would you rename some common products out there?

Here's what I've come up with: A city of shameless people is likely to find itself ruined by shameless acts.

You can expand that to "a society", in general. It occurred to me that in Canada, people are fairly self-conscious about their actions. They don't want to be seen or caught doing something embarrassing or unethical. In other words, they care about what other people might say and think - thus, the standard in which the society operates is kept higher than otherwise.

In Taiwan, many people (in particular those of an older generation) have very little shame. Making strange sounds in public, doing things that are considered crude by North American standards, and not giving much considering to those around them. This results in a much less refined culture, which I guess is where they started from. It's obvious how people here don't care too much about others past themselves, families, and friends. People in the street will bump into you, push you from behind if you're in a line-up, hulk up phlegm, pick their noses, cut you off in traffic, etc. I mean, there are nice people too, but the overall impression is often set by the worst of them.

Since I get a day off due to typhoon, it seems appropriate to make that my subject today.

I didn't realize until a couple days ago that the outward cone from typhoon report maps were showing the probability path of the typhoon. In otherwords, in their best prediction, meteorologist believe a typhoon will eventually move within this cone as the days progress. I always thought it was an indication of the size of the storm. I'd be like "Holy crap! That typhoon is going to cover the entire island (Taiwan) in two days!" Glad I figured that out.

Also, as part 2 of this posting, I want to know who gets the fun job of naming typhoons and hurricanes. I wonder if most of these are names of ex-boyfriends/girlfriends/spouses. If I was entitled to that power, I would start giving stupid names that would either confuse everyone or that everyone would hate saying. I would give a Hurricane the name "Tornado", as to call it "Hurricane Tornado". Or Typhoon Wallachitakamurokitrabani, Hurricane Twrantgpp, Hurricane YoMama, Typhoon Kill-Everyone, and so on.

Go ahead, name a natural disaster.