What about my Christmas? Let me tell you about my Christmas.

From late morning to late afternoon, the K clan kids had lunch chez V with our cousins, their significant others, and baby. We feasted on Lawry's 2005 Turkey To-Go Package (which included cranberry sauce, gravy, mashed potatoes,and traditional turkey stuffing), a pumpkin pie, and a tiramisu cake. Let's not forget the After Eight mint chocolates that aren't sold here. After the Secret Santa exchange and some sleeping on the couch, it was off to the Sogo department store to walk around and get some free chopsticks.

Then I went down to the Taipei 101 area with A to walk around and to see a performance, whose poster said "Capoeira Taiwan" which intrigued me. As I road my scooter with A giving directions on the back, I made a left turn coming out of a street and immediately got pulled over. I decided to try my "speak English only" tactic to see if I could get away with it. As he pulled me over, I immediately started speaking in English... and he got mad! He pointed at my face and said loudly in Chinese "講中文! (Speak Chinese!)" I just looked at him blankly and shook my head. He pointed at himself and said "I am Chinese Police. 你講中文! (You, speak Chinese!)" But I was having none of that, as I looked at him shaking my head as my non-Chinese-speaking facade continued. He told me in Chinese that I committed a traffic violation because I made a left turn through double-solid yellow lines, and that he was going give me a ticket. Mind you, he was speaking far too quickly for someone who couldn't speak Chinese to understand. He asked A if she could speak Chinese, but she said nothing. He asked for my license, which I gave him after acting as if not knowing what he meant. He asked me "你是台灣人嗎? (Are you Taiwanese?)", and then answered his own question "喔, 不是. 是 O 開頭的. (Oh, no. [your ID number] starts with O.)" I asked him "So, what did I do wrong?" and he said "I English very little". As he was filling out my ticket, he asked me if I could understand Chinese, and I responded "小小. (small small)", which is grammatically incorrect. And he said "'一點點' 不是'小小' ('a little', not 'small small')". Anyway, he still gave me a 360nt ticket, and at the end of it (which was a very long it, with all the playing around I was doing), he told me "中文要多學一點. (Learn more Chinese)." So, as much fun as it was pretending not to speak Chinese, getting a ticket wasn't much fun at all. In fact, in hindsight, I would have been better off speaking Chinese and saying that I didn't see the double lines because there were so many cars, which was the truth; but I was too focused on making my lack of Chinese understanding look realistic. Anyway, you can't really go back once you start faking that you don't understand. Then you're a liar and you'll probably get another ticket. :P

Moving on... after a stop at Starbucks, we went to Warner Village where they had some street performers to entertain the crowds (and collect money, of course). The performance I went to see turned out to be by a group of street/hip hop dancers that I think I'd seen on TV before. And I saw one guy (Allan) doing a few Capoeira moves, so I asked him where he'd learnt. He told me that once a week, they have an instructor teach them and if I were interested, he could take me there. As we talked, I learned that the instructor was not only from the Capoeira School I trained with (Axe Capoeira) but was also someone I trained with, although I didn't care too much for the guy personally. Allan said he hasn't had much roda (the circle where two people play Capoeira) experience, so he wouldn't play with me, but he said I could freestyle if I wanted. After much internal debate, with willingness and nervousness battling it out, and with A's encouragement, I decided to do it. So, I had my minute of not-quite-fame showing off some Capoeira in front of crowd of Taiwanese. Glad I did it actually! I have Allan contact info, so I'll fire him off an email sometime to drop in on the Axe Capoeira Academy in Taipei.

So, that was my Christmas Day.

Tell me about your day.

I met Bernie Mac!!

Well, the Taiwanese Bernie Mac. It was a good humoured security guard at the Geant supermarket. He tried to help me with getting some refund information. His somewhat flat and wide face, his big googly eyes that suck out of their sockets, his marginal moustache, his hoarse voice that's always running out of air, his fast rambling, and his laugh all reminded me of Charlie's Angel 2's Bosley. It was funny. One of those you-had-to-have-been-there things, I suppose.

When you call a phone number often, there's a physical memorization associated with the number. I think everyone has it, and it has less to do with knowing the numbers rather than knowing their placement on the telephone pad. I would venture to say that it has less to do with the location of the digits as it does with the movement of your thumb of finger on the dialing hand.

A few times, I've thrown myself off. I've tried calling a number I call often, but using my left hand instead of my regular right hand. And you know what? Messes me up most times. It screws me up so badly that my mind blanks out completely, and I need to restart with my right.

Give it a try. You probably have already.

I stand corrected.

"Ovaltine 3-in-1 is a unique and nutritious blend of Ovaltine, skimmed milk powder and sugar. It is made with high quality ingredients providing the body with vital energy-producing and protective nutrients. Ovaltine 3-in-1 mixed with water, contains only 1.5g of fat per 200 c.c. serving. Suitable for vegetarian."

And here I was thinking that drinking too much instant hot chocolate was bad for me. On the other hand, the Nestle Carnation "Rich Chocolate" Hot Chocolate that was sent to me from Canada by my very caring friends seems to be a little less healthy.

But... everyone can treat themselves to a warm cup of love every so often, right?

My Christmas tree is up now. Thanks to B who donated a tree to each sibling, we can now share a bit of Christmas spirit in our respective homes. It stands a towering twelve inches high, further heightened by its position on a DVD player, which is on a fridge, which is on a TV stand. So, besides my armoire, it's the tallest thing in my room.

"Oh Christmas tree, oh Christmas tree,
Oh Christmas tree, oh Christmas tree."

(yes, that's really how the song goes!)

What do you do when you keep passing the same person in your office? There are days when you seem to continuously bump into this one person, as if s/he's timing your washroom times to "accidentally" meet you as you're on your way somewhere.

Ok, let's assume you know this person a little, and you've chatted; so, you're not complete strangers. Because you can ignore someone you don't really know. We also assume that the "counter" is reset each day, so in the morning of that workday, you're starting anew.

So, this is how it roughly works for me:

1st encounter> Hey Bob, good morning. How's it going? (and we chat for a bit)
2nd encounter> Hey. (because I know how it's going, no need to dwell on the subject)
3rd encounter> [nod, salute, smile]
Nth encounter> [nod, then quickly avoid eye contact]

As the day goes on, I start to realize that it's better to stay in my cubicle to avoid Bob. And it's even worse when you pass each other in a long hall, where you're watching him come your way for what seems like HOURS just finding a way to avoid another awkward hallway-meeting moment.

And I give that cheesy captain's salute... And each time after I do it, I always say to myself "WHY did I just give that cheesy captain's salute?? Fine, I won't do THAT again." But I always do. Each time around, it's always "Aye Aye, Mate!" Kills me.

I was a bartender last night at the CCPN Christmas Party. Since A is a CCPN staff, I was "volunteering" to help out (for a free ticket). It was pretty fun serving drinks for 200+ people (well, not all 200 people came to the bar). The selection of drinks was fairly limited: Hennessy XO, Sparkling champagne, red wine, white wine, hot chocolate, cranberry juice with XO, orange juice with XO, hot chocolate with XO, and hot coke. While being a bartender means you can't really go out and socialize all night, it means that a lot of people recognize you. So, that gives you something to talk about, at least to start. It was also neat to see a couple unexpected faces, including a coworker and an SFU engineer I know who just graduated and moved back to Taiwan. All in all, a good time. The Christmas parties are just getting started.

In other news, I had my first facial. It was painful. But it's amazing how much cleaner my nose looks without the blackheads.

I couple months ago, I talked about balding. Today's topic is white hair. I guess white hair is better than having no hair... at least you can dye it black (or whatever your natural hair colour may be). It's scary to see people in your office the same age as you (still 26 for those counting) with hair going white. It just shows you how much pressure some of these engineers are under.

I noticed as I pointed out a white hair on B's head that it was slightly crooked, even though the rest of his hair (black) was straight. And then I thought to myself, "Self, is white hair always crooked?" I'm not sure yet. I haven't researched enough. But it seems like white hair always has a different texture. Often it's crooked, like I mentioned, more like as if it were really a pubic hair that climbed Mount Everest and turned white because of the cold.

Another question is, does white hair grow white? Or does it turn white as it dies and shivels up? I'm leaning towards the latter, but I guess I'd have to talk to my friend Google to know for sure.

Anyway, just another odd subject on my mind.

Why is "Kevin" such a difficult name for Chinese people to get? In particular people from Hong Kong and Taiwan. Why do so many people naturally pronounce it "Kelvin"? The thing is, there aren't even that many Kelvins out here!! I've met at least 5 or 6 Kevins here, and no Kelvins. So what gives?

Other times, they fool me. They do this thing where they start off good, with a "Ke" instead of "Kel". Then they kind of hold that on their tongues for an elongated "Kehhhhhhh", and just when I'm about to extend my hand to shake theirs and congratulate them on getting it right, they finish it wrong "Kehhhhhhh.... lvin".

There are few things more satisfying than...
...rubbing an itchy eye with the second knuckle of your index finger
...popping a ripe pimple
...burping or farting when you have a painful case of gas
...picking a healing scab

What else is super satisfying?

Am I complicated? I think I have a way of complicating things. In general, I prefer to have things done with completeness, because a little more upfront saves you a whole lot of headache down the road - maybe it was just the way I was brought up. In application, I have learned that it's not wise to expect people you don't really know to get things done properly. In that, you should read that you shouldn't trust people to get things right because the amount of incompetence in this world is stellar. So my concept is to provide as much information as possible to reduce that margin for error. For something that requires a list, I'll provide a spreadsheet - so you can easily see where all the numbers come from. Don't get me wrong, I'll organize it clearly so that the flow is evident. Organization is a self-claimed strength. But I think it complicates things dramatically for others, even if it is clear to me. Mainly because their minds aren't ready to receive data this way.

However, I like having complicated ways of looking at something. In my mind, it makes the overall result much better than if done "the usual way". If I were responsible for following specifications, there'd be trouble because I'd be guilty of constant scope creep. I'm nit-picky and I love it. I can complicate matters to make it better, and I'm proud of it. I'll do the same job as the next guy, but add a little twist that people will say "wow, nice job." I think it only takes a little.

I do my laundry at work. It's convenient since I spend at least 10 hours there every weekday. There's have a washer and a dryer, and all I have need to do is bring my clothes, my laundry detergent, my tea tree, and some Bounce if I have it.

Ok. It would appear that this posting is about cleaning. And it's not. It's about dirtying. And here's why...

Today, after my clothes were washed, I had to take someone's gym clothes out of the dryer to put mine in. As I removed his clothes, I noticed that his white underwear had a streak. Now, this makes me wonder about a couple of things:

1. Do most guys (and/or girls) have underwear stains? Because I've seen it on a couple people's underwears. I don't have them on mine, so that's why I wonder.


2. How do you get underwear stains anyway? Assuming the bumhole is where the dirty is, isn't there also a distance between the underwear at the bumhole? How dirty does it have to be to make that jump to the fabric? OR... is it from people who don't wipe cleanly and also like to give their pucker a little scratch from time to time?

An intriguing topic, I know.

I've been overcome with laziness.
Too lazy to write blog postings.
Too lazy to go out for lunch.
Too lazy to call home.
Too lazy to go to the gym.
Too lazy to do much other than what I need to do on a daily basis to survive.
Too lazy to get over the laziness.

I took a day off from work yesterday because I had a(nother) cold.

Remember when we stayed home from school when we were sick? Wasn't it great? I used to go to my parents' room and watch Sesame Street. In fact, I think I did that all the way through early highschool.

What do you do when you have a sick day off?

Sports writers and announcers alike love to use sports teams' names when reporting scores. Taking hockey as an example, you see headlines like:

"Canucks torch Flames"
"Canucks spear Sharks"
"Canucks fall prey to Predators"
"Canucks smothered by Avalanche"
... and so on.

But then you have some team names that aren't so "reporting-friendly", like the "Canucks". Really... how can you use that cleverly?

The only one I can think of is "Boston Bruins kicked in the 'Nucks".

Just wanted to add a few more comments from past recent blogs.

"Geoff"

• Geoff sleeps so much. He sleeps at lunch, like we all do. He sometimes takes a nap in the afternoon. And then he sometimes sleeps after dinner while waiting for his wife to pick him up (or to pick up his wife). His lethargy while awake actually has me convinced he's just sleepwalking/talking/working.


• He was at my desk once, and we were discussing something. Then he decided to explain his point (which was wrong) by drawing a diagram. So, he just takes any piece of paper off my desk and picks up a pen. Without saying a word, I snatched the paper out of his hands and gave him a sheet of scrap paper. I hope I made my point.


• Today, he was explaining some stuff about memory module timing diagrams to me. And he placed his hand down on a sheet of paper. When he lifted his hand, it was WET. Not damp. Not moist. It was WET. Like, as if he had spilled something on the sheet of paper. There was literally a shallow puddle of water/sweat (who knows?) on the sheet of paper. I have never seen anything like it.

Names
I recently visited a customer site, and got a few more good names.

Nokia [F]: yes, like the phone.
Nissan [?]: yes, like the car.
March [F]: yes, like the car "Nissan March".
Tendollars [M]: yes, like the bill. The guy just translated his Chinese name... but still, com'on.

No one questions the growing popularity of blogs. It's a good way of reading up on friends' and family's lives, seeing what's on their minds, and seeing how they're occupying their time. It's also a good way of killing time, both in writing and reading.

If I average about 2 - 3 blogs per week, at 15 mins - 30 mins per blog (we'll average down to 20 mins per blog), then I'm spending about 50 mins a week blogging. And then, I probably sync up with all the other blogs once a week, which would normally take up to 45 mins including commenting, if some people have updated their blogs. So, I guess I spend 1h30m - 2h each week on blog-related activities. More or less.

What about you?

[right away, I'm seeing my estimation being proved incorrect, as this blog has taken only 5 minutes.]

A: "Hey, how's it going?"
B: "Good, and yourself?"

You see, asking someone "how's it going?" is generally taken as a formality by most people. They reply with a "good", and return the favor. But I don't see it that way. When I ask, particularly to friends over MSN, I am genuinely interested in knowing how he or she's doing. Because if this went both ways, then we'd have a lame conversation that would take no more than 4 seconds (this is where we ask our viewers to try it).

A: "Hey, how's it going?"
B: "Good, and yourself?"
A: "Good."

When I say "Hey, how's it going?", I actually mean:
"Hey, how are you doing today? And how have you been since the last time I saw you? How's the wife /the girlfriend / the boyfriend / the baby / the dog / the job / the weather where you are / your body temperature / your health / your limp / your social life / life in general? What have you been up to (in no less than 10 sentences)?"

Only after that person has given me the full update, is he/she allowed to ask me how I am. I don't need a "good" in response to my question. Heck, it's assumed good until proven bad.

BTW, how many of you *actually* "tried it"?

I lost my wallet following a car accident incident (that didn't directly involve me) a couple months ago. Fortunately, I was relieved to retrieve it from a police station the day after -- everything in tact... except the money. The entire time I lost my wallet, I was only realistically hoping to recover the cards/IDs/etc., and assumed that the money would "vanish". That assumption wouldn't have been any different if I were in Vancouver; but I believe it holds even more true here in Taiwan, because it's all about the money. In fact, I would say that even if a kind Taiwanese samaritan had picked up my wallet and turned it into the police without charging me a Finder's Fee, the police officer(s) surely would have. Let's admit it: free money doesn't fall into your hands everyday.

So, here's my question to you readers:
If you found a wallet with money in it, would you take some? Under what conditions would you or wouldn't you?

Go ahead and post anonymously if you want, just answer honestly.

And just to calm the odd reader, yes, I did report my bank card and credit card when my wallet went missing. So don't worry about it.

AC told me Canada has a new Governor General, Michaëlle Jean. It raised a question in my mind, because I had no idea what a Governor General does other than have TV shows called "Adrienne Clarkson Presents". My only online research shows (from the official website):

What is the Governor General's position in Government?

Canada is a parliamentary democracy and a constitutional monarchy. This means Canadians recognize The Queen as our Head of State. Canada's Governor General carries out Her Majesty's duties in Canada on a daily basis and is Canada's de facto Head of State.

Like many other democracies, Canada has clearly defined the difference between the Head of State and Head of Government.

The Governor General
    - represents The Queen who is the Head of State
    - is appointed by The Queen on the advice of Canada's Prime Minister

What does the Governor General do?

The Governor General's role is built on four major themes:
    - Representing the Crown in Canada
    - Representing Canadians and Promoting our Sovereignty
    - Celebrating Excellence
    - Bringing Canadians together

Pretty useless role, if you ask me.

Then I started looking at the past Governor Generals and found some familiar names.

Lord Stanley of Preston: NHL's Stanley Cup
Earl Grey: CFL's Grey Cup, although I thought it was the tea guy at first
Lord Byng: My highschool's rival highschool in Vancouver (Lord Byng Secondary School)

It's interesting to know who the people are behind the names I've heard for years.

I've been out of Vancouver for over 15 months now.

Most of the time, when I talk to friends, I get the update on them -- which is great, and I'm more than enthusiastic to hear about it.

But what's new with Vancouver? What's going on in the city I lived in for the first 25+ years of my life? Developments, news, sights, stories...? I want to see what SFU looks like now that UniverCity has been booming up at SFU. What about all the 2010 development? Any new laws passed?

Tell me, tell me, tell me!

For a brief moment in time, I was a wizard.

This morning, I was "Kevin the Wizard" as I hosted the Washington American School Halloween trick-or-treat. I blogged about this one year ago.

With a dracula cape and witch's hat, I was more of a crossbreed than a wizard, but who could tell? My coworker (whose son's school was the one that came by) told me the flow of the 1-hour show, and I ran with it. There was some miscommunication on the floor, as one of the teachers kept looking at me like "What are you doing? That wasn't in the script." Well, it was in MY script. No one cares about the overall picture. It's all about me. Halloween isn't for the kids anyway. CHRISTMAS is for the kids. Halloween is for the adults who pretend they're not who they really are. Anyway, I think I did a good job hosting the game, speaking loudly, clearly, and slowly. But it makes me realize that I could never teach kids because I can't stand speaking at such a simple level. Anyway, it was fun. Now it's back to work work.

Oh, and like last year, BT sent another Scratch & Win card "Fright Night". But I Scratched & Lost. Dangit.

I was on the bus to Ben's place for the weekend with my laptop today. I started off watching a couple episodes of Everybody Loves Raymond Season One, during which a guy sat next to me plugged into his MP3 player. In Taiwan at least (not sure about the situation in Canada now), it seems like everyone has an MP3 player. There are at least 50 different makes and models at electronics stores, if not more. A lot of the makers are Taiwanese companies, some small some large. Even so, the iPod series of players are still amongst the most popular.

So after finishing up with ELR, I decided to close my eyes for a bit and listen to some classical music. So, I used MY MP3 player. I opened Windows Media Player, queued up a bunch of MP3s, closed my laptop and held it at my side. I chuckled to myself at the thought of my oversized MP3 player in comparison to the guy-next-to-me's tampon-sized MP3 player.

Welcome to the 21st Century.

This frustrates me.

Cursed with radically changing day-to-day weather, Taiwan weather forecasts never seem consistent from one website to the next. I'm trying to decide whether to go rollerblading tomorrow, and I can't plan it with any certainty. For example, looking at the outlook for today and tomorrow...

Taipei: Yahoo! Weather and CNN
Hsinchu: Taiwan Central Weather Bureau and Yahoo! Weather

In my opinion, for outdoor events/activities, partly cloudy and thundershowers are far from the same.

Can't we just decide on one prediction and go with it?

Life is so interesting when you fast forward to only the good parts, isn't it?

It's like watching a movie where two people shar some time in France. The film editors create a 30 second sequence where you see young adults frollick through the sloped cobblestone lanes, laughing as they spin around with their arms out, looking at the Effiel Tower, visiting La Louvre, picking grapes from country vinards, stopping for a herd of sheep crossing the dusty road, and so on.

And yet, somehow, when it's you in that same situation, you'll only realize how much your feet hurt from walking up that cobblestone alley, how crazy traffic was between the Effiel Tower and La Louvre was, and how you stepped in sheep dung. And even if you really did have a great time at all those spots, there are always long and boring waits at train stations and bus stops, and a lot of walking, in between the scenes that the producers didn't show you.

Wouldn't it be great if we could fast forward our lives to just the good parts?

Here's a fun toilet fact:

For guys at least, when you hoist yourself on a toilet with the urge to both pee and poo, you will always start peeing first. I've tried several times disprove this, but to no avail. I try to hold the frontside, and release the backside, but there's always a trickle before the drop. Let me know if your experiment find otherwise.

Or just take it as a thought you can sit on. (Get it? SIT on? ... uh huh)

There are only a few instances when it's acceptable for a man to say about another man: "... and he has those beautiful soft hands."

One such instance is in hockey.

Ever have people on your MSN contact list that you haven't talked to much, and you forget who they are? One of my contacts messaged me today. His MSN name is just a message in Chinese, no name. His email address doesn't have his name either. So, really, I don't remember who he is. But I still talked to him... for 20 mins during my lunch break. We talked about buses going to Taipei, his recent wedding, and his wife's English name (or picking a name for her). And after all this, I still couldn't put together who he was.

Then, I took a lunchtime nap.

After I awoke, I decided to be clever and see if I could figure it out. I asked him

Me: "What company are you at again? I seem to have no recollection."
Him: "What company ??"

Uh oh. Should I know this? Does he work at my office? But I don't think I have any other coworkers on my MSN list (aside from one I know).

Him: "What company are you at again? --> I don't understand the sentence."

Quick reaction...

Me: "oops, sorry. wrong window. :P"
Him: "Haaa"
Me: "damn, I do that too often." (actually, I don't do it often at all)
Me: "Nothing. Ignore me. Just woke up. Still groggy."
Him: "If you have 2 girlfriends, you'll get into big trouble."
Me: "hehe"

Ok... so that was a failed attempt. I felt like I was quickly losing chances to find out this guy's identity.

Finally, I said:

Me: "Hey, can you do me a favor? Can you email me (_____@____.com) with your contact info? I realized I don't have any... like, cell, primary email, and whatever..."
Me: "I usually keep a contact list, just in case."
Him: "ok"
Me: "I don't think I added you (although I'd have to check)... fanks."

Finally, he MSNs me his contact info, and I realize it was my coworker. And what's funny is that we had these few lines in our MSN conversation:

Him: "I got married at 10/10" <-- Taiwan's National Day
Me: "oh? Congratulations!"
Me: "Was it at the Taipei city hall?"
Him: "thank you"
Him: "Yes"
Me: "ah, ok. My coworker got married there too."

It turns out that HE's the "coworker" I was talking about. And he told me he was getting married that day a while ago, because the Taipei government was holding a big wedding event.

Anyway, I'm a doorknob. But I feel better now knowing who he is.

This is an evil posting.

Let's talk about a coworker of mine. Let's call him "Geoff" to protect his identity - although it's just an alternate spelling of his name.

Now, I don't want to come off sounding mean, but let's just say, I'd hate to be Geoff. There's not a thing about him that I like. He's a few inches taller than me, so I wouldn't mind having that. But other than that, he's everything I consider useless in a human-sized capsule. Let's review the facts:

• For someone who's an engineer, he is the slowest frickin' typist EVER. You say "No, he can't be. Ever?" Ever. There is not a single engineer on this planet that seems as afraid of a keyboard as him (other planets, okay maybe). His finger tips seem reluctant to press down a key, as if afraid of snapping on contact.
  
• He has no sense of navigation through his own computer windows. As engineers, we usually have a few windows open at any one time, and that's fairly normal. If he's in window A, and he switches to window B, he has to flip through windows F, J, and frickin' P to find his way back to A. I'm serious! Even P!! No one should have to go through P to get to A.
  
• When I help him at his desk, his inefficiencies at the keyboard make me want to grab him by the hair with two hands, put both feet at the lumbar support of his chair, and pull, leaning as far back as I can in his confined cubicle space.
  
• He's got the worse English out of everyone in my group, and doesn't even know commonly used technical words in English. In Taiwan, Engineers all have a fairly good technical vocabulary because they use foreign books (i.e. English) throughout their studies. But not him. Maybe he didn't go to school.
  
• He used to be an IC designer at another company before coming to our team as QA. And he recently asked me a question about something I think is BASIC for IC designing (just a coding thing). He must not have been a good IC designer.
  
• He over-uses the sentence "I don't understand."
  
• When you first ask him a question, his answer 50% of the time is in the form of a question "You mean _____?", as if you have to clarify everything. Otherwise, he will repeat the last word of your question.
  
• He makes awful assumptions, which usually are met with disagreement. I particularly enjoy the part where people say "no, you're wrong".
  
• He's got this annoying chuckles that he exercises at all the wrong times... such as when he's making his awful assumptions. Example: [chuckling] "But no one would ever use a memory module like that." "Actually, you're wrong. You're an idiot, Geoff, so shut up and let the adults talk."
  
• He has an awful memory. He does some testing, but can't usually remember any details about the results... which is particularly fun when our manager asks him about his findings.
  
• When he hits an error, he usually just asks someone first before even reading the error message (which often times can easily point out where to look).
  
• When I'm helping him with a problem, he likes to put his sweaty hand down on my desk to get his head close up to the monitor to get a good look... a real good look, I'd say, when he's close enough to lick my flatscreen.
  
• When he puts his hand down, he usually does it on sheets of paper on my desk. And when his lifts his hand, the paper's usually stuck to his frickin' sweaty palm. To add to that, he usually manages to ruffle and wrinkle those sheets when he'll peeling them off his hand. The jerk.
  
• When he doesn't get cheek-to-cheek with my monitor, he stands behind me and leans on the back of my chair. It's like having some annoying guy kicking the back of your seat when you're trying to enjoy a movie. Makes you want to swing around with Zangief arms from Street Fighter II.
  
• He has absolutely no social skills. He's one of those guys who you say Good Morning to or Bye to but has no reply.
  
• When he talks, usually it's slow. I guess he's limited by the processing speed of his brain.
  
• I can't stand the way he walks. Slow and droopy. Not sure if he shuffles his feet, but he seems to be the type that would. Example: a bunch of us were walking into the elevator, maybe 4 in all. People generally step to the sides of an elevator after loading to make way for the people behind them. After #1 and #2 went into the elevator, #3 was Geoff, just taking his time. I, #4, actually ran into him because he caught me off guard with his surprisingly leisure stroll. Again, not trying to be mean, but he might as well hang from a tree and be called a sloth.
  
• Just yesterday afternoon, he burped at my desk while asking me for help, completely filling the air with the smell of his lunch. Ick. A few seconds later, he walked away, and I was left fanning my area with my lab book. Someone needs to stick a few shoe fresheners in his mouth.

But let's face it. People like Geoff make the rest of us look pretty darn good at work, don't they?

Care to share about your colleagues? Maybe paint a picture on a canvas that s/he will never see? Ok, go ahead. Get it off your chest. Feel free to use more than one comment forms if you can't fit it all in one. I know you have a lot to say.

Help me spread the word.

Everyone knows the basic short forms often used in MSN: ttyl, brb, btw, ic, ...

There's one more I want to add - so pass it on.

Background:
Some of us MSN at work. In many workplaces, instant messaging isn't encouraged (and so it shouldn't be, because it's rather disruptive to one's work -- believe me, I know. Then again, so is blogging.) So, like many of you, I've developed a keen ear for people walking my way. It quickly triggers a reflect which hits "ALT-TAB" away to a work-related window. But if you're in a conversation with someone while your boss comes by to talk to you, the last thing you want is for 4 incoming message tabs blinking away in your Start Menu bar. Quite frankly, it looks bad. So this is my solution to it.

Solution:
"DMM" or "dmm" -> Don't Message Me
What this really means is: "As of this message, don't send anything to me until I message you again. I'll explain later." In other words, "NO MESSAGES". It's usually not enough to just say "hold on" or "brb", because everyone's first reaction to that is to send a message "OKAY", which starts up a blinking message tab. No help there. When you receive a DMM/dmm message, just leave the person alone until the coast is clear. So, I want to spread this acronym into everyone's IMing dictionary. Please use it when appropriate, and please let everyone else know about it!

Very busy this week with a demo on Monday, and giving training Tuesday - Thursday. So just a short boring post.

The Canucks' season starts tonight (and against the Coyotes coached by Wayner). And then there's also Mr. Crosby out East to watch as well. I love having hockey news to read again. So, here's my question...

What's the best website for reading about the Canucks? I used to read the Vancouver Sun and Province online, but they seem to require subscriptions now. Where else?

I remember seeing the NASTIEST COMB-OVER on a bus between Taipei and Hsinchu. The man, maybe 50 or so. Bald crown. I sat behind him, so I can't tell you about the frontal lobe.

Ok, let's talk about combovers first. According to Wikipedia.com, "A comb over is a hairstyle worn by bald or balding men where the hair on one side of the head is grown long and then combed over the bald area." The accompanying diagram (also from Wikipedia) is subtitled "The comb-over hairstyle (U.S. Patent 4,022,227)". Patented in 1977. Ummm... ok. I don't know how you can patent a hairstyle, but alright. There are variations such as the "comb forward" and and the "comb back". These all have a similar goal of cover a bald spot discretely to not draw attention to common male pattern baldness. But com'on, let's be truthful, no combovers are successful. They will all turn out ugly. It just depends on how ugly. And yes, there IS a combover.com website with pictures.

Now, let's talk about MR. NASTYHEAD. From my angle, his so-called "replacement hair" came from the right side, sort of up and in a clockwise swoosh. The problem with this combover was that the hair was clumped together into bands. Maybe four clumps in all, each coming to a tip. I saw him try to sort it out, but brushing his right hand fingers through his hair, attempting to push it backwards into place. But no... they did not go into place. They stopped listening to him halfway and fell short of their goal. So, it kind of looked like raptor claws reaching around and grabbing a shiny ball from below. Just awful. I don't want to be mean, but he had Tony the Tiger strips across the back of his globe.

I wanted to get up from my seat, pull out a comb from my bag, and comb it out for him; but I didn't have a comb in my bag. So instead, I just snickered.

Now as I was giggling to myself, it started to make me wonder... what would I do if I were balding? Giving that I think I am predisposed to MPB, I should give this some serious thought. I would think about shaving my head, but I have an irregularly-shaped skull with a slight dip in the middle. Clearly, letting my leftover mane grow long would make me quite popular with the women, but only because I'd look like the aged Hulk Hogan (albeit without the stature and the 20" pythons). So, I guess I would just cut what hair I have short, and keep things neat. There really aren't many great solutions, I suppose. Rogaine?

For the guys, what would you do?
For the girls, if your man was losing hair, what would you suggest him do?

I have fruit flies. Bred in captivity (i.e. my place). I'm not proud of it at all.

Since 1.5 days ago, the death toll stands at 34, and rising. There are still survivors.

I know my folks, who read my blog, will tell me that I must have food out, that my place is dirty, etc. And it's not! I don't really leave food out (although I am guilty of leaving empty glasses of orange juice overnight once in a while) and my place isn't that dirty.

Well, this is the general breakdown of the cause of deaths.

• approx 10 killed by the home remedy provided by Kel: sugar + dishwashing detergent + water
  
• approx ~2 found dead by themselves - just keeled over and died!
  
• approx ~22 killed by yours truly - by hand and foot (really, I squashed a few with my feet)*

*I found an effective way to attract fruit flies last night. I turn on my TV and switch it to Video 1 (which is a blue screen if there is no signal). The fruit flies seem to like it, and they fly up and walk around on the TV screen. At that point, Kevin's hand comes along and WHACK! Assassinated. And the glass screen also makes it easy to wipe excess bug. In < 10 mins, I killed 5 or 6 this way.

Anyway, this is where you guys go "EEWWWWWWWwww!!".

I think I would get along with myself. I think my attitude towards others is about the same as what I'd like to receive from others. At least that's what I think. I sometimes make silly comments (for example, in reply to a question) that other people might find humorous, but that I probably wouldn't find so funny when I'm waiting to get a serious answer. And I could probably think of a few examples where I would totally piss myself off, but other than those few rare moments, I think we would get along well.

I'm sure there are a lot of people who do/say things that would tick them off if it were done/said to them. I have a coworker who is pretty impatient with others and has a terse attitude when speaking to people. At the same time, he also seems like the kind of person who can't stand being treated disrespectfully. He wouldn't get along with himself.

The topic here isn't whether other people would get along with you, but simply whether you would get along with an exact replica of yourself - maybe not physically (because no one wants to see your ugly mug twice), but in attitude, personality, speech, nuances, habits, and so on. They say opposites attract. So, do duplicates repel?

So... would you?

According to this article, Taiwan is losing its grip on piracy.

The Taiwanese need to reset a long term goal of being Market Leader in piracy. Those Chinese Mainlanders across the way are diligent. They have a clear population advantage and a booming movie-viewing demographic. The Taiwanese need to establish a competitive position through quality piracy. Gone are the days of head-bobbing in-theatre bootlegs. Today, only production house espionage, "For Academy Award Consideration", and straight DVD-to-DVD burns are worthy of satisfying the craving movie-watching community.

As with most industries, there's bound to be adversity. Multimedia piracy has been met with anti-piracy task forces, competition from Torrents, and haters. But with moderate effort, I think this black market will rise above those setbacks and succeed. Coalitions and co-operation between underground independent operators will only make the market demand stronger. Lower prices, promotions, and spreading the word through Piracy Awareness Programs - letting people know that such things exist and can be purchased - are viable solutions to expanding the Taiwanese piracy cause.

There's still a long way to go, but I think we can do it!!

My new coworker's name is Benjamin. SHE started today.

A lot of Taiwanese people (and Chinese people) have odd English names. Many of them seem so random, so wrong, so that's-not-a-name. It's partly because people want to have original names. They think Kevin's too common, Wendy's too common, so they start making up names.

Running through the employee list, here are a few strange ones. They can be categorized into The Adjectives, The Misspellt, and The Say-What?. None of these names are directly translated from their Chinese names. I also put these names through a search in thinkbabynames.com to weed out a few rare names that are actually names.

The Adjectives:
Happy [M] (I'm sure you are)
Smart [M] (actually, this one's from China)

The Misspellt:
Jully [F]
Tomson [M]
Jamy [M]

The Say-What?:
Acme [M] (This was chosen using closed eyes and a finger in a dictionary)
Dinlin [F] (I'm sorry...?)
Dis [M] (Would hate to get Dis'ed)
Jaw [M] (like, hit you in the...?)
Jurcy [M] (MMmmm, them oranges sure are Jurcy...)
Manton [M] (means: "Man's or hero's town")
Morven [F] (Not sure how she chose this...)
Pagan [M] (means: "Countryman", but has come to mean "heathen")
Rabi [M] (I will be at the Bar Mitzvah)
Samun [M] (My favorite type of sashimi)
Solo [M] (He must idolize Mario Van Peebles)

And my absolute favorite employee name at my company is:
Captain [M]

Any odd names you've heard?

Ay ay, and Goodbye!!

Feeding Frenzy

Mid-Autumn Festival, one of the biggest holidays in Chinese culture, is upon us. We had a M.A.F. celebration last night, which I helped organize (as a member of the Employee Committee). We had a KTV (karaoke) contest, as well as a buffet, on the 7th floor of our building. It was a busy day, getting things prepared for the 6:30pm start. The catering was poorly timed, as the first shipment of food arrived at 5:30pm, but the second shipment hadn't arrived at 6:30pm. Not long after 6:30pm, there was a trickle of a few employees arriving... and the crack turned to a hole as the entire company flooded through the staircase and elevator doors.

The second shipment hadn't arrived, and we didn't have any plates or utensils. Now here's where things got interesting. We have a company of 200+ people... mainly computer engineers and highly-educated... but lacking in sophistication. As they arrived, they headed straight to the food. Seeing that there were no plates, they just started picking with their hands. The saran wrap hadn't even been taken off the food trays!! Most of the food could be considered finger food, but not all. Everyone swarmed the buffet table instead of filing in a line working from left to right. It was like a pack of wilderbees coming across a river in the Serengeti during a drought. Very very surprising how lowly these people looked, picking at food with their hands. Eventually, the cupboards were opened and we had people use small plates, small bowls, and cups to eat. I saw some employees using their own tupperware as bowls. It was one big mess of people. Good thing I ate before we started. :)

As AC says, Taiwanese people have too much freedom; so much that they cross the line to having no rules or manners. Ain't that a fact.

Marketing is a beautiful thing. It can take a mundane P.O.S. and make it sound fabulous with everything you want. Ever think what you might call some everyday things if you had the power?

• Hundai Justenough


• Pontiac AtoBbutnotC


• A box of Kleenex WetSnotOnYourHands


• Randy River Shink-in-Wash shirts


• Versace OverPriced&Ugly Signature Fall line-up


• Perrier Fizzypee


• Adidas notSuitableForDroopyBalls running shorts


• McDonald's McLardass, McCalories, McLovehandles

How would you rename some common products out there?

Here's what I've come up with: A city of shameless people is likely to find itself ruined by shameless acts.

You can expand that to "a society", in general. It occurred to me that in Canada, people are fairly self-conscious about their actions. They don't want to be seen or caught doing something embarrassing or unethical. In other words, they care about what other people might say and think - thus, the standard in which the society operates is kept higher than otherwise.

In Taiwan, many people (in particular those of an older generation) have very little shame. Making strange sounds in public, doing things that are considered crude by North American standards, and not giving much considering to those around them. This results in a much less refined culture, which I guess is where they started from. It's obvious how people here don't care too much about others past themselves, families, and friends. People in the street will bump into you, push you from behind if you're in a line-up, hulk up phlegm, pick their noses, cut you off in traffic, etc. I mean, there are nice people too, but the overall impression is often set by the worst of them.

Since I get a day off due to typhoon, it seems appropriate to make that my subject today.

I didn't realize until a couple days ago that the outward cone from typhoon report maps were showing the probability path of the typhoon. In otherwords, in their best prediction, meteorologist believe a typhoon will eventually move within this cone as the days progress. I always thought it was an indication of the size of the storm. I'd be like "Holy crap! That typhoon is going to cover the entire island (Taiwan) in two days!" Glad I figured that out.

Also, as part 2 of this posting, I want to know who gets the fun job of naming typhoons and hurricanes. I wonder if most of these are names of ex-boyfriends/girlfriends/spouses. If I was entitled to that power, I would start giving stupid names that would either confuse everyone or that everyone would hate saying. I would give a Hurricane the name "Tornado", as to call it "Hurricane Tornado". Or Typhoon Wallachitakamurokitrabani, Hurricane Twrantgpp, Hurricane YoMama, Typhoon Kill-Everyone, and so on.

Go ahead, name a natural disaster.

I was shocked to find my bicycle sprawled across the pavement when I finished my workout this evening. My bicycle was beaten up by some thugs. I parked in a small parking lot right next to my office building where late-arrivers park their scooters when the main parking lot is full. The malicious act left my poor baby on the ground, rear brake handle rotated from its original position, and even worse, basket badly warped. If my bike owned a wallet, I'm sure that would have been taken too.

It didn't take me long to realize what this was about. The culprit was clearly a scooterer who, without the courtesy to stand it back up, knock my bike over and left it for dead. These so-called "Bicycle Hate Crimes" are becoming more common and is plaguing what otherwise seems like a docile Science and Technology Park environment.

It's time to take action! I am going to constitute a Science and Technology Park Neighborhood Bike Watch. No more shall we be victims of such tasteless acts of inconsideration, I say. No more.

Anyway, I'm going to scooter to work tomorrow. Maybe kick over a bike or two.

The more I hear, the more I think Taiwanese men are some of the most disloyal husbands in the world. Exaggeration, possibly. I'm sure there are cultures where wives endure much worse. Nevertheless, the constant reminder of Taiwanese marital infidelities is shocking.

1) Three girls/ladies I know have been hit on or flirted on by people that turn out to be husbands. Coworkers, friends of friends, etc. Considering I don't really know THAT many people here, three is quite a large percentage for this kind of statistic.

2) I've been told that Taiwanese men think that if you (a female) talk to them one-on-one, it means you're interested, and hopefully that will lead to sex. I think this is the result of a society where, at least in MY company, the women sit together, the men sit together. It's very highschool dance-ish. Or maybe that's just because I'm here in a Science Park which is predominantly male and so the girls have to cling to any other girls they can find.

3) I've been told of one case where a friend asked this married guy (who turned out to be hitting on her) whether he would sleep with a lady if she was willing. He said "Of course! As long as my wife doesn't know about it, why not?" Enough said there.

4) I've been told that there is a (one or more) motel/hotel where the rooms are equiped with sound buttons, such as MRT (subway system) sounds, 7-eleven door sounds, etc. So when the ol' nagging wife is calling, you can simply press a button and claim you're not in the sack with a 17 year old.

5) A conversation (maybe jokingly?) between a friend and her coworkers revealed that a lot of married men don't like to buy cell phones with digital cameras - which are popular these days. The reasoning being that their wives may ask them to "show" them where they are - like, through video conference.

6) There's a TV commercial I often see where a woman (W1) and her husband are shopping. Then a friend of hers (W2) sees her and says (while the woman's husband is in the background paying no attention to the conversation) --

[poorly translated, but you'll get the idea.]
W2: "Wow! Your husband has changed!"
W1: "Yes, he not only left the other woman, but he treats me better now than before. All thanks to ."
W2: "Really? Why don't you take me to that place quickly."
W1: "Okay, see you tomorrow."

So, this commercial tells me
(a) There's enough of a market out there for women with cheating husbands to open such a company and advertise on TV
(b) There's a high probability of two Taiwanese women with cheating husbands to be friends
(c) Taiwanese women will openly talk about their marriage problems, even when the problem spouse is nearby - who, btw, appears to be tamed to b!tch status
(d) Taiwanese commercial dialogue sucks

Anyway, everytime I hear that some married guy is flirting, having an affair, or trying to have an affair, it disgusts me. Makes me disrespect an entire nation of married men, unfair judgement or not. Something about a rotten apple spoiling something something.

Someone have too much time?


Rocking to a world record
CBC News

Suresh Joachim is rocking his way to his 31st world record.
The 36-year-old Mississauga man, who holds 30 Guinness World Records, is working on his next feat: 75 hours of continuous rocking in a rocking chair.
"It's very comfortable," he said after one-and-a-half hours of rocking at the Hilton Garden Inn in Mississauga, Ont. "But maybe too comfortable.
"I'm rocking back and forth, so I'm going to get sleepy. That could be a very difficult problem."
But Joachim is no stranger to making it through long, repetitive stretches of time. Among the other records he's set:

• 100 hours of bowling
  
• Longest time spent standing motionless 21 hours and 30 minutes
  
• Longest modelling on catwalk, 133.2 km
  
• Longest time spent balancing on one foot, 76 hours and 40 minutes
  
• Travelling up and down an escalator continuously for seven days
  
• Longest distance travelled while carrying a 4.5 kg brick in an ungloved hand, 126.675 km
  
• Longest dance marathon, 400 hours
  
• Longest non-stop drumming marathon, 84 hours
  
• Longest non-stop band performance by a 14-strong group of musicians, 42 hours and 52 minutes
  
• Longest distance traveled while balancing a milk bottle on a head, 133.3 km
  
• Longest distance crawled non-stop, 56.6 km
  
• Longest radio DJ marathon, 133.2 km
  
• Longest movie-watching marathon, 53 hours

The nice thing about spending 75 hours in a rocking chair is one has lots of time to plan for the future.
And prepare for the future is just what Joachim did.
First, Joachim cracked open Tiger Woods: How I Play Golf to learn the sport he plans to play continuously for 100 hours next year.
Next, he practised guitar so that he could get ready for his attempt at 100 hours of guitar-strumming (no word yet on whether he'll play the same song for the entire stretch).
And then he started flipping through Elvis Presley and Ricky Martin lyrics for an upcoming 100-hour karaoke marathon.
He also plans to set the record for the longest non-stop TV watching marathon (72 hours), but he doesn't really need to practise for that one.

Reference: CBC website

Actually, I looked this guy up on the Guinness World Records website, and three records were found... but they can't seem to decide whether he's from Canada (as this article says), Sri Lanka, or Australia.

Balancing on One Foot
Longest Distance Carrying a 10lb Brick
Drumming Marathon

Last Friday, in the morning, I saw the second act of a two-act scooter-bicycle collision. I didn't see the impact itself, so I can't accurately describe the precursor to the events that came to be. My diagram gives an idea of how things started.

With cars lined up waiting for a light to turn green, I was on my scooter along the right side of the road (where scooters ride). I saw a scooter come out from an alley just ahead on the right side. Based on what was to come, I guess there was an older lady riding a bicycle in our direction on the other side of the waiting cars.

In true Taiwanese style, it is fashionable to scooter between cars without looking around to make sure the coast is clear. So, shortly after I saw his scooter cross through , I heard a large "PACK!!!". As I rode past his entry point, I turned and saw a woman on a bicycle that was swinging around, pivoting off one wheel, like some punk kid on a BMX bike doing tricks. Then she quickly toppled to the ground. I was impressed. You'd think Scooter Man was aiming for her. Heck, if I had that MO, that's just how I would have wanted my victim to flail about before landing. Poor woman.

Anyway, just a reminder that while scootering is dangerous... biking around scooters is even more so.

The best time of day is just as the sun is on its way down and is sitting 30 - 45 degrees from the horizon, starting to cast long shadows on the ground. It doesn't matter whether it's 9pm during the Summer or 4pm in the Winter. There's something about that setting that I find calming and overly pleasing. It makes me want to get in touch with my inner self. I find that exact moment even more pleasant when I catch it leaving the office early, like around 4:30pm in the late Fall or early Spring - because it's as if I could only enjoy that feeling by leaving the office early. Wish we had more of those here. But throughou the year in Taiwan, the sun sets between 4pm - 7pm... usually before I leave the office. Too bad.

I got this video (18.9MB) from someone a while back, but forgot to look at it until recently. The sand artist is Erzekeny Toredekek (less a few accents above vowels), and the performance was from the Seoul International Cartoon & Animation Festival (SICAF) 2003 -- there are a few more videos here at this link here. Quite amazing.

All about Dane Cook.

I rave about Dane because he's been my favorite stand-up comic since about two years ago when I started hearing his stuff. It's no wonder I bought his first album "Harmful If Swallowed" and listened to it often. And from that album, I not only got a CD and a DVD, I also got more than a year's worth of continuous quoting!

Well, his second album "Retaliation" is out and guess who had to go out and order it? That's right! (I'm assuming you guessed me...) I ordered it off Amazon.com for $19.97 US including S&H to Taiwan -- hey, for 2 CDs and a DVD, that's not bad. Just think of how much quoting I can get out of this one! I placed the order July 31, and it was shipped the next day. My confirmation email said gave a "delivery estimate: August 29, 2005"... and boy, they were off, because it arrived today! Can't wait to go home and listen to it.

New pants!!

Ok, not really. But it sure feels like it. Last week, I brought 7 pairs of pants to have altered. 3 shortened, 4 lengthened. 4 from Canada, 3 bought in Taiwan. 2 bought at that store, 5 bought elsewhere. Came to just 5 x 50nt (totalling around $10 cad).

There's an incredible difference between wearing pants that fit well length-wise and those that don't. As I mentioned in a previous blog, a number of pants had shrunk since coming to this island. Wearing short pants garnered a horrible feeling of insecurity as the hem of the pants swing back and forth just below the calcaneus bone, causing me to deliberately try to push them downwards. Longer pants are fine, so long as they can be folded inwards hiding the extra material. But more often than not, after a little bit of movement, the folded piece does fall out or bunch up around the ankle.

After 250nt well spent, I feel like I can walk freely in what feel to be brand new pants. Oh the glory!

Kevinitis. That's what I have.

In Canada, I was as healthy as I could be. But since the beginning of this year, I've been sick a large percentage of the time here. I find Taiwanese doctors sketchy, but mainly because I feel like the medication I'm taking isn't getting me back to 100% each time I take them. Since February, I've been diagnosed with having a flu (Feb), cold (April), mild bronchitis (the second opinion was that it was just the latter lingering stages of the cold), asthma attack, and now laryngitis. Why does everything sound worse when you add -itis to the end of it? Really, just an inflammation of some body part, but add the -itis and it feels like near-death.

I'm not sure what the cause is, why I'm running on this illness treadmill. Is it the pollution, the dense population, the fact that viruses run rampant in moist and heated climates, or my diet and nutrition? Yes. I'm sure all of it. I feel like I'm constantly on medication here. Poppin' prescription pills isn't something I like nor that I'm used to. And they seem to prescribe this stuff like candy (well, no one REALLY prescribes candy). So I'm on 4 pills and a cough syrup now.

Took a blood test today (upon my request) -- where the blood extractor bludgeoned the vein in my left arm before he decided he couldn't get any blood out and moved to my right arm. After I saw him pull the needle out, re-angle, and re-insert for the 3rd time, I couldn't watch the 4th, 5th, and 6th times. A few days and I'll get the test report. And I also have a full health check-up via work sometime this month as well.

Be well, be healthy.

For those who have met me and know me: do I look younger than my age? If so, by how much?

I've never really had comments about looking young... until I came to Taiwan. Now I get it from EVERYONE.

Tell me.

Fact: If you know someone (including yourself) farted, and you smell that fart, immediately you will react as if you got a whiff of the Devil himself. Then you'd hold your breath and fan your hands in front of you until you thought it was safe.

Question: Have you ever smelt a fart (most likely your own) where you thought, "hmm... if I didn't know this was a fart, I would mistaken it for the smell of food."? I know I have.

I've been testing a design on our system lately. The physical test is to plug a microphone into one jack, speakers into another jack, and when you speak into microphone, you should hear your voice over the speakers (sparing the technical details).

Last week, I ran a couple test vectors on the design, and it looked like the results were correct. And then I did the physical test, plugging in my headset which has both mic and earphones. From that, I could only get noise out of the earphones. After some back and forth with the team in the US, and no obvious solution.

Today, with the US team here for meetings, we tried it again... same result. And then after some quick investigation, the problem was found. My microphone has a little volume and on/off switch. Umm... it was off. DAMN IT.

I bought a new pair of shoes last week. Merrells. I saw them on the display and I said, "Now THOSE look cool." That store, by default, has a 10% discount on everything. But, I decided to hold off that day. Checking the website, I can't even find my model of shoe.

Anyway, I went back a few days later. And originally 2980nt, it was 20% off, then I used 1700nt of gift certificates I got from work, and ended up paying 684nt (just under $30 cad). I so happy. :) Unfortunately, the box doesn't say what the model is... so I still don't know. But I still think they look pretty cool.

There's a question from waiter/waitresses common across western-styled restaurants. Usually it comes when they put down your meal:

"Would you like some pepper in your [salad/soup/pasta/what-have-you]?"

Of course, they always ask this before you've had a chance to taste your food. So, really, wouldn't the appropriate response be:

"I don't know, did the chef not put enough? Or can you wait until I've tried it?"

Along the same line, are you one of those people who would put salt or pepper in your food before taking a bite? Is it normal to just start shaking some pepper on your dish before knowing how much pepper is already there?

Comment.

Eddie Murphy's Coming To America is on TV right now. The funny thing is, a young Cuba Gooding Jr. is getting his haircut in the barbershop where Eddie plays three characters! He has no lines, and only nods his head like a dork, but looks like that's where you need to be before playing Oscar winning roles and giving long drawn out acceptance speeches.

All of Taiwan gets a typhoon day off. This is reportedly the largest typhoon in more than 5 years. Maybe we'll get 2 days off! Unfortunately, the direction of the typhoon has changed and now it's heading South instead of Westward towards China. I find walking outside during typhoons is actually quite a lot of fun. It's windy, it's rainy... but it's nothing compared to a tornado. I want to see a cow fly by.

I want one! I want one!
Having one makes you feel wanted and loved, cared for and adored.
Where can I apply to get one?

Read: CBC News Story

I'm aliiIIIVVVVE!!!

Installed MSN 7.0 at work. I'm re-connected.

My work is already taking a blow.

My blog counter is working again. This is the number on next to the blog name on your dashboard when you log into blogger.com. Since I first noticed that counter, it's been stuck at 78. And today, it jumped to 301. So, 302 including this post.

For better or worse...

Recent tragic events at my company have me questioning my loyalty. Our IT department has outsourced guys from another company to come in and help with support. At the same time, these so called "helpers" have installed "Websense Enterprise" over our network which is counteracting all extra-curricular attempts.

For example, if I try to go to www.friendster.com, I get an error:

Access to this web page is restricted at this time.

Reason: The Websense category "Personals and Dating" is filtered.

And I can't connect to MSN. I was able to use Trillian for a couple of weeks, but it wasn't really stable. It would crash about 10 times a day, but at least I would be able to connect and chat when needed. But it's worse now, because now it crashes as soon as I open the application. I've all but given up.

I tried to go online to the Trillian website for help, but...

Access to this web page is restricted at this time.

Reason: The Websense category "Instant Messaging" is filtered.

Son of a ... Does this mean I'm going to have to focus on my WORK from now on?

There's a fine line between what's right and what's wrong. I went to the washroom and one of our colleagues was standing at a urinal brushing his teeth with his left hand and holding below with his right.

I shook the mayor of Taipei's hand. It was around 9pm on a weeknight, and I was eating some thin noodles just outside a temple -- the front entrance of the temple is surrounded by eats selling the Hsinchu specialties meatballs, rice noodles, and meat dumplings. The mayor (Ma Ying-jeou) is campaigning to be the GuoMingTang political party's head man. So I guess after-hours, he was still making visits to less crowded areas with a very small entourage. I don't care for his party and I don't know his political views, I wanted to shake his hand because he is a man of importance.

I found this photo out of my photo archives. Taken exactly one year ago, July 5, 2004 after rollerblading down by the Sea Wall.

Just because I'm living in a different country, it doesn't mean I'm not going to celebrate Canada Day. So on Friday, July 1, my brother, AC, and MC went to The Brass Monkey to celebrate Canada Day, where they held an event in honour of our country's birthday.

Ben sported his "Canada Kicks Ass" t-shirt, me my Roots Canadian Olympics sleeveless, AC had a Canadian flag (well, it was mine, really) and for having a maple leaf on us, we each got a free Canadian beer (Blanche de Chambly from Quebec). As usual, when I'm at the Monkey, I got a few games of foosball, and was surprised to see some competitive players! I teamed up with a Newfie and took two games before losing to one guy who played alone. He was good, but we should have had him. Unfortunately, my partner couldn't help himself and kept throwing the ball straight into the opponent's player and getting stuffed.

And then there were the boatraces. I wasn't sure how many teams there started with, but BC was represented, as was Ontario. And then there was a team of New Zealanders as well. A boatrace, for those unfamiliar, is where you sit in a line with your team and from the front to the back, each person must finish a cup of beer. The team to finish first wins. The finals were between Ontario and New Zealand, and I think Ontario won.

It was nice to sing the Canadian national anthem -- especially away from home. Also nice to see some Canucks shirts (as seen in the photos). The night was capped by us briefly meeting the husky fellow in the second photo. This burly man saw Ben's shirt and very very slowly read the "Canada Kicks Ass" as he ran his finger across Ben's chest -- clearly heavily intoxicated. Then he unbuttoned two buttons of his shirt to unveil his Canadian pride. He and I then chatted as he told me his wife is Taiwanese and they have a daughter. And he continued about how his niece who was studying in the States came to Taiwan during her break and they were out at some place, him, his wife, and his niece. While they were playing some dice game, he went to use the washroom; and on his way to the washroom, some guy grabs him from behind and asked him "How much did you pay for those girls?" Of course, that question infuriated this man who was standing in front of me slurring his words. He grabbed the guy and threw him across the room. Now... as he was telling me this, he was reliving the moment in his obvious stupor. And as he raised his voice and said "That fvckin' guy was talking about my baby!!", his face grew into the kind that is usually followed by a fit of violence. I actually thought he might try to throw ME across the room. Well, perhaps it was one of those you-had-to-have-been-there kind of moments. Soon after, he calmed down, his wife appeared, and he introduced me to his wife and said I was a very nice man.

Happy Canada Day!! (on Friday)

Keeping in theme with the last couple posts, a little more on cockroaches.

In Taiwan, they're also called 小強 (xiao3 qiang2 -- or little mighty) because they're hard to kill.

What I found interesting after I took that photo is that its head is covered by a protective shield. I don't think I've gotten close enough to a cockroach to notice.

Also, if you look at what you can see of the cockroach's underside, it bares a similar ressemblance to the underside (and legs) of shrimp. This is why in some places in the world, including Turkey as my Turkish ex-coworker told me, they do not eat some seafoods such as shrimp, crayfish, etc. They consider such vermin as "insects of the sea". Which, if you think about it, makes sense. Just look at those things. Bugs.

As I described in my previous blog, I had a new pet. So following posting that blog, I headed out to buy some food and a nice home for my new companion. From the supermarket, I got 5 homes and 5 pills in one pack for 59nt. I took two out and set them up along two separate walls near my bed, hoping to find my pet in his new home the next morning.

Next morning... nothing.

After work... nothing.

And before I went for a haircut, I moved one home closer to my bed and headed out the door. After 40 minutes, I got home and found Mr. Cockroach sheltered from the harsh conditions of my ceiling fan. Whew. Lucky guy. As you can see, I've posted some pictures.

Oh, and that tentacle you see in the photos is the "thread-like thing" I saw sticking out of my flower cup.

DAMN.

I've been out of my house for about 4 - 5 days. I just stepped in, and I noticed a cup with flowers I placed on my night table. I peered in and noticed a little thin thread-like thing sticking out, so I looked a little closer. As I gave the cup a nudge, a cockroach popped out and ran down the side of my night table, disappearing behind it.

CRAP. I have a cockroach. ARGH. I hate cockroaches, and until now, my place seemed free of them. Online, solutions seems to be to mix borax with powdered sugar or cocoa powder. Hmm... but since I'm not much into making my own poison (plus the fact that I don't know where to get borax), I'm going to head down to a store to buy some poison.

CRUD.

I was watching The Contender, Sylvester Stallone's boxing reality show. After the contenders were reduced to the Final 8, they flew to Las Vegas' Caesars Palace. The Final 8, along with the Italian Stallion and Sugar Ray Leonard stood in the middle of an outdoor ring where many boxing greats had shared a piece of history. For those unfamiliar with the show, the final two will fight for $1M.

Then they bring out a treasure chest, guarded by two "guards" dressed as Roman soldiers. They open the chest to show $1M in cash in a pile of bundled bills (like in the movies). Sly says "Com'on guys, get close. Take a look, but don't touch. That's one million dollars. That's the real thing."

... but when I looked closely, there was a bill at the top of one of these bundles that was lifted slightly (either by the wind, or simply because it wasn't flat), revealing a blank sheet below it. HMMMMMm.... Sly, what are you trying to pull?

Michael Jackson has been acquitted of ten counts of child molestation charges. I'm not saying that he's guilty or innocent; and from what IS known, he's still a messed up man (freak), sharing a bed with boys. But in some ways, I'm glad the jury found him not guilty.

Like so many of you, I grew up listening to Michael Jackson back when he was bigger than life. If he had been found guilty, I think I would personally feel it was a shame that such a major icon in our pasts suffered that kind of fate.

Constantly peeing. That's sometimes what the road to recovery is about. Drink lots of water, wash out what you can out of your system. But this blog isn't about that. It's about something more dark and sinister. More disturbing.

As I was standing at the urinal, I noticed two long curlies and about four or five short ones, about 1cm long, in the pee bowl. Ok, you don't get this many hairs in one urinal by accident. Occasionally, one may fall. Maybe two. But this number was a sign of intention. It meant someone was standing there pulling the loose ones out, OR EVEN WORSE, someone was standing there trimming.

PLEASE DON'T TRIM YOUR PUBES IN PUBLIC PLACES.

Masks. They're a sign of greatness. Zorro. Dr. Doom. Rich Hamilton. Hannibal Lector. Jim Carrey. And now... ME. Sure, mine isn't as mysterious as Zorro's, as form-fitting as Hamilton's, as devilish as Hannibal's, ... but it still draws attention when I wear it at work. Alright, the truth is that I'm wearing a filtering face mask at work so that I don't spread my virus to anyone else - and also so I don't breathe in air that's too cold or dry (from the A/C) that may cause me to break out in uncontrollable hacking and coughing. So far so good.

I feel like a doctor about to perform EDA (Electronic Design Automation) surgery at my computer. There is an undeniable feeling of power -- which, of course, only I feel. Others who see me wearing a mask will have pity on me, and that's necessary to validate the two days I took off work. :D

Bronchitis, not just an extinct lizard.

Went to the doctor today because after getting past my cold, which I was suffering from at the end of last week, I've been coughing plenty, and I have lots of phlegm -- the nice thick kind that sticks to the sink and doesn't let go unless you use a power washer on it.

Anyway, the doctor says I have a little bit of bronchitis -- not too serious now. I have 4 days' medicine to take, and we'll see how it is on Saturday morning... if it's okay, I don't have to eat anymore meds. If not, then I will go back to see him.

In the meantime, it's a day and a bit off work so I can rest up. Sigh...

If I weren't an engineer, I would I want to...

write songs.
write for sitcoms.
create art.
make commercials.
sell Those Little Donuts in Taipei.
be a stuntman in movies.
design clothes.
invent low-tech household items.
cook.
make music videos.
invent game shows.
design logos.
be in advertising.

The dream season is over.

I was on the Phoenix Suns bandwagon from the beginning of the NBA season. My reasons were Canadian Steve Nash and Japanese Yuta Tabuse. I supported Tabuse for being Asian and the first Japanese to play in the NBA. Unfortunately, his stint with Phoenix didn't last very long at all. I don't think he even played a regular season game, and I don't know where they shipped him off to.

Of course, Steve Nash was my main reason for watching the Suns closely. And then I and everyone else came to realize, as the Suns started out with a 31-6 season, that they were a super exciting team to watch. No defense, sure. But offensively amazing. Add up all the stats (best record in the league, most points per game, 3rd largest season-to-season turnaround in NBA history, ...) and the awards (All-Star weekend accolades, MVP Steve Nash, Coach of the Year Mike D'Antoni,...), and you have a pretty successful season!

But, after a first round sweep of the Memphis Grizzlies (haha, those Grizzlies suck!), a 6-game disposal of Nash's old team the Dallas Mavericks, the Suns just couldn't get things going and lost to a more experience Spurs team in five. Maybe if they used more than just seven players in a game, and added some defense, they'd fare better. Although, you have to admit, the starting five were phenomenal. Although Amare Stoudemire is also unbelievably cocky and not very tactful when it comes to post-game comments. Nevertheless, he's 22... so what do you expect?

Anyway, the season is over for Phoenix. Time to wait until next season! Hopefully I'll have an NHL to follow as well. Go Canucks Go!!

Here's a quick observation"

I find when Taiwanese people give a series of digits, such as ID numbers or phone numbers (which range from 8 - 10 digits), they usually blurt out the entire number in rapid-fire fashion. This is as opposed to what I'm used to in English, where we give 3 to 4 digits at a time. What's equally interesting is that the people here who are getting the numbers have no problem understanding it.

Taiwanese way:
"So, what's the number?"
"0939384855"
"Ok, thanks."

Canadian way:
"So, what's the number?"
"6-0-4"
"6-0-4"
"5-5-5"
"5-5-5"
"1-2-3-4"
"1-2-3-4. Ok, thanks."

Me getting a number in Taiwan:
"So, what's the number?"
"0939384855"
"0-9... and then?"

Here's an email just sent by my manager to the entire company. It made me smile because there are a few people that REALLY need to pay attention to this. REALLY.


Sorry for sending to everyone.

In western countries where a good part of population has body odor, they use deodorant soap, and apply deodorant stick to the armpit after shower (to keep it dry and reduce the smell.) Many people even apply cologne or fragrance to make the smell pleasant.

For oriental people, the percentage is quite low. However, the smell can be strong. So for a better working environment, please be aware of this issue. Use deodorant soap, apply deodorant stick, and/or wear fragrance.

As summer is coming, it will become unpleasant in the cubicle, and on 6th and 7th floor where people sweat a lot. Please help make it a pleasant environment.

I don't mean to offend anyone as I don't even know who has it. Please pardon me for being direct.

Thanks, and best regards,
________ _____

The Name Game.

My group at work is involved in developing a new product. So, over the last (long) while, we had a contest to "name that product". The winner gets an iPod (mini? 4GB? 6GB? I don't know.). I came up with a whole slew of names around speed and acceleration in verification, which is what our product provides to customers. Below's the list of some of my suggestions -- some are good, some aren't. I've removed certain acronyms to protect the nature of the product.

1) Farina - driver to win the first Formula One race in 1950 (Italian fellow), indicative of speed
2) Burton - chief of current world record Nascar pit crew, shows speed and allows the driver to get on their way quicker
3) Cheetah - for obvious reasons, fastest land animal
4) Peregrine - for the Peregrine Falcon, the fastest animal on Earth with speeds up to 175 mph
5) Cascade - out ability to speed up verification cascades through to quicker time-to-market
6) FICESS - [acronym]
7) REVE - [acronym] (also means "dream" in French, Reve with ^ accent on first 'e')
8) ICDREE - [acronym]
9) Presto - A direction in sheet music indicating the tempo is to be very fast.
10) Allegro - A direction to play lively and fast. === used by Cadence
11) Glissando - A rapid succession of notes, often played on the piano or harp by sliding the fingers quickly over the keys or strings.
12) Scherzo - Pertaining to the sonata form, a fast movement in triple time.
13) VESPA - [acronym] -- sounds good, but is also the name of a scooter company in the USA
14) VESPAS - [acronym]
15) Protexcel - Excel in Prototyping (pronounced "pro-tex-cel")
16) Delorean - The time travel car in the Back to the Future series of movies
17) Asimov - For Isaac Asimov (1920 - 1992), a Science Fiction novalist and scholar
18) Fortengle - Forte___ (company) + "Engle", Madeleine L'Engle wrote a book called "A Wrinkle in Time" which is about cutting through time via a "wrinkle" (concept better shown in person), thereby getting from point A in time to point B in time much faster
19) Vitesse - French for Speed/Velocity
20) Arrow (System), Archer (Software), Crossbow (Hardware), Target (target board)
21) Derby (System), Stallion (Hardware),
22) RICESS - [acronym]

I think I narrowed this list down to 10 or so before submission. And then with all the suggestions of our group members, we narrowed it down even further before passing it up to the executives for a final decision.

The last word I got was that the race was between Presto (mine) and Forerunner (not mine). The company name that this will be marketed under is Forte____. I didn't even like Presto all that much as a name. So, in the interest of the iPod, I hope I win. But in the interest of the product, Forte____ Forerunner sounds much better.

Ah well, guess we'll just wait until the result is announced and hope I win. :)

Brilliant. Two weekends ago, when I returned to Hsinchu, I realized I had left my keys in Taipei. This left me in the rain until my sister could pick me up from my bus stop. So, with the spare apartment key I left with her, I had a place to stay, but was Scooterless In Hsinchu because, as it turns out, my spare scooter key was in the a locked drawer -- whose key, of course, was also in Taipei -- and whose spare key... was... in the drawer itself (of course).

So, I got my brother to courier my keys to me a couple days later, and I went to pick up my scooter from where I left it (in a parking lot). Low and behold, when I get there, I find that my scooter isn't. I knew it was towed and not stolen because that parking lot has recently been repainted with parking stalls and cleaned up. The way I had parked, squished in with other scooters in car stalls, would have been fine over the weekend, but not fine over the weekdays I left it there keyless. So, I had to walk in 30 degree weather to the Science Park Administration office, just a short 5 minutes, to find out where they would have towed my scooter. Then, I remembered I needed my scooter registration -- so I had to walk home first. In the meantime, I called my sister to pick me up to take me to the tow lot.

20 minutes later, she picked me up and with the map I got from the Science Park Administration office, we were on our way to the tow lot. On the road, something flashes by me, and I didn't immediately clue in. About 30 seconds later, I say "WAS THAT THE MAP?!" Sure enough, it was indeed the map. I had some idea of where the place was, but it still took 15 minutes to get somewhere only 5 minutes away.

The cost of towing was $250nt (about $10 cad), and the parking fine was $600. Wasn't a good day for me.

Here's something I hate. Any time I write a long email or blog, and my application dies, it just drives me up the wall. It's not the same as when I write a document for school or work, and I lose some work because my unsaved file crashes. That's a different kind of worry because the work HAS to be done.

Most emails and blogs are extra-curricular. Time doesn't need to be spent on them. I just write them because it gives me something fun to do. But all of a sudden, when I find myself re-writing the same content, that "funness" seems to disappear. The first time through, it's exciting, it's new, it's merry and gay. The second time through, it's repetitive and blood-boiling. Definitely one of the worst feelings I can have regularly.

Guess it was bound to happen: Adidas becomes the first company to put a computer chip into a shoe for mass marketing. The Adidas 1 analyzes the wearer's weight, speed, and surfaces and adjusts its cushioning support via a worm screw. Perhaps it was a matter of time before a shoe company decided to turn the traditional shoe into an electronic utility. There are only 60 of these shoes in Taiwan. I wonder how the market will take to it. Well... knowing Taiwanese people, in very little time, those 60 will be sold and there will be a line for the next 60. I wonder how much durability testing they've done. They can't claim "no moving parts" and wear and tear are always an issue with mechanical devices. Anyway, interesting stuff!

There's a line from Jay-Z's The Blueprint song "Takeover" I like:

A wise man once told me "Don't argue with fools. Because people from a distance can't tell who is who."

My brother was telling me a story about a couple of parents he saw in Vancouver carrying a stroller (with baby) down a flight of stairs. The parents accidentally dropped the stroller, that flipped forward, and landed in such a way that the baby's head made met the ground and caused a bloody mess.

"F***!" I exclaimed as I heard this.

And my cousin, who heard me curse, said "Don't swear!" And then I went on to tell her why I think it's okay to swear. And I share repeat parts of that lecture here.

So, some people say that those who curse lack vocabulary. I beg to differ. I think these words are (necessary) additions to one's vocabulary. Selective use of such "swear words" emphasizes the emotion and impact of the message given. What word can you think of matches the intensity of words like "F***!"? Do "shoot!", "oh darn!", "shucks!", "damn!", or "crap!"? Not in my opinion.

Of course, I wouldn't say that I have a particular attachment to the word "F***", nor do I condone excessive use of bad language. It's not like I agree with how some F'ing people will, like, F'ing swear whenever the F they want. Then it becomes a dulling filler word that lacks meaning. I'm just saying that there are times that call for this kind of energy, where other replacement words wouldn't do your emotions justice.

So, that's my justification of swearing. That's why I think it's perfectly fine to, from time to time, launch an F-missile.