Interesting story. I was playing in my volleyball league yesterday evening, and a girl on the opposing team says to me "Hey, is your last name Ko?", and I was like "okay, which one of my siblings do you know?"* And she replies "We went to elementary school together! My name's Trish.", and I was taken aback because I immediately recognized her. We used to play together as kids at school. But she left my elementary school after grade 4, and I had never seen her since. So, doing the math, that was 15 years ago. I actually can't believe she picked me out of a crowd. She's married now, and moving to France in October to live. Très bizarre!



*because my brother, sister, and I have similar facial features, and I've had their friends come to me asking if I'm Ben or Naomi's brother... even if I've never met them before.

I just finished watching A Clockwork Orange (1971). What a bizarre movie. It's one of those cult classics. What a strange film.

Well, I've finally proven it to myself. Costco's no-questions-asked return policy is true and works. I brought a pair of jeans that I had bought from Costco at least 6 months ago back this past Sunday. I didn't even have the receipt. After saying that I bought it a while ago, I was about to explain why I was returning it, but she didn't seem to need to know. She looked at the tag at the back of the jeans (for a product number or something), punched it into the computer, and gave me my cash back. That simple.

In today's posting, I would like to bless you all with gift of knowledge about a particular tabooed subject. The idea or theory came to me sometime in the first 2 years of university (I think), and has been proven consistent for me since then. Today, we talk about: The Art of Fart. You may find some information here disturbing, but you may be a happier person having read this. If you do not want read about farts or bowel movements, DO NOT CONTINUE.

1. The Short Version
TO STOP FARTS FROM STINKING, DO NUMBER 2.

2. The Explanation
A "fart" is defined as "an expulsion of intestinal gas" by m-w.com. This is the passing of gas from the intestine or colon, through the rectal sack, and out the anal canal. These "farticles" (term coined by RobC) are, in themselves, odourless. But funny enough, they are not the only things to pass out the anus. Doo doo does too. So, when there is poopy (that is the scientific term) near the rectal sack, the farticles will pick up the scent and carry it with them out of the bum bum. Hence, smelly farts. If there is no dung awaiting exit, flatulance is a safe exercise that will draw as little attention to you as the sound it makes when broken. Breaking wind quietly is another topic which is outside of the scope of this posting.

3. What This Means For You
If you know you need to go, do not fart in public. Sometimes it is wise to let a scout out, from which you can grade whether it is safe to release the rest. If it's not, get to a washroom and lose a few pounds before dispersing your farticles amongst people. Your friends and coworkers will appreciate it. What this also means is that if your farts stink, you have poopy up there... so visiting the porcelain potty isn't a bad idea anyway.

4. Put it to The Test
Through the years, this theory has done me a ton of good and has saved me from many potentially embarrassing moments. But don't take my word for it, try it for yourself. Do a before-and-after comparison, separated by a trip to the crapper. I guarantee (or your money back! Minus S&H.) that you will find that gas passed afterwards will be virtually odourless.

So, I hope we can all take steps towards cleaning up the air and making our country/Earth smell a little fresher. Feel free to pass this on to your friends. I'd also like to hear your comments. Did you already know this? Did it work for you? Will your change your life? Or do you think it's all preposterous and that I'm talking out of my ass (no pun intended)? You can even respond by saying "My friend says that it worked for him", even when you're actually referring to yourself. It's all good.

Canadian Idol sucks. Plain and simple. I have a feeling that Simon Fuller (creator of American Idol and its Canadian spin-off) didn't realize what he was doing when he decided to come to Canada to launch his show. The contestants are a group of misfits who lack vocal talent (the best are only good, not great) and definitely lack the visuals. Everyone looks like a dork. There haven't been any powerhouses, and so far I've been bored each time I've watched the show. Maybe it's missing a certain Cowell. My sister's friend called to vote for 2 people, and found that the phone lines were NEVER busy. So with the 500,000 votes they receive, they're going to determine who the Canadian Idol is. Fascinating. Heck, I don't even think I've heard them say something like "X million people voted, and..." I think they keep it quiet because the number of voters is embarrassing. Anyway, that's why I think Canadian Idol sucks.

They loved it! They really, really loved it!
Spectrum Idol drew a phenomenal response from the crowd. There were points where the video audio was drowned out by continued laughter from the previous scene, which was great. My perception of the film had been numbed after working on the project for so long, but I was ecstatic to see how the audience was taken by the film, and how they participated (cheering/applause) at all the right moments. A few jokes didn't quite fly, and we were surprised at how some jokes absolutely soared. But to be honest, the best part was after the lights came back on, and everyone crowded our table to shake our hands and congratulate us on a superb job. THAT was rewarding.

It's DONE! Spectrum Idol is complete, and will be shown in front of a crowd of 300 or so viewers on this coming Saturday at Spectrum Weekend in Kelowna. An enormous amount of effort was poured into this, including more than 100 hours of my own sweat and blood in the editting suite (my family room). I'm fairly happy with the result, in spite of some major bumps along the way, but I'm sure my audience wouldn't appreciate everything I went through anyhow. We probably spent a good 25 - 30 hours filming in a team of five (Triple Threat Studios and Wait/Maier Productions), and I took it home from there. In spite of the program running 48.5 mins long, I'm hoping no one will feel like it's dragging on (although our small test audience did say there was a bit of a lull in some of the sections, but overall it was really good).

I'll let you all know on Monday how it went. Cheers.

Funny thought of the day:
I was just recalling something I saw at Metropolis as I went to the washroom before watching The Hulk. As I passed a guy standing at a urinal on the way to the next urinal, he finished his business and pulled up his underwear and pants. Just think about it.

"Ummm.... I'll get Combo No. 6"
I had my braces tightened again yesterday, and now have the elastics in there between my top and bottom row of teeth. Every time I get the braces tightened, I eat congee for the next 2-3 days. Well, I found a new combo. It's called the "______ fried rice and congee mix". It's exactly as the name describes. Since I can't eat hard stuff, or foods that require chewing, I get a couple plain congees and whatever fried rice is on sale (yesterday's was beef fried rice), and I mix 'em and enjoy. Num num. You'll be surprised at how good it is. And it doesn't give me the runs! (neither does plain congee alone actually)

So the next time you get your braces tightened, you can try the same.

I got a company-wide email today. It was about one of our remote offices' employee's (actually, the head of our UK office) new born baby. There were 3 photos attached, including a picture of the father next to his wife naked in a bathtub holding the baby. In that photo, you see here breasts and the side of her body. This could be a perfect example of how different cultures react to nudity -- perhaps Europe sending pictures of your nude wife may not be so uncommon... but it was kind of weird to get that in my mailbox this morning.

Announced today: Vancouver has won the bid for the 2010 Olympics. WOOOOHOOOOO!!!

Voice your opinions here!

Some details on the Vancouver Olympic bid (courtesy of The Seattle Times):

Total budget: About $2 billion; $1.4 billion in Olympic capital/operating funds, $600 million in federal/provincial infrastructure improvements that would be made with or without Olympics. The Games are expected to produce a small profit, to be put in trust to run facilities. The provincial government is on the hook for any shortfalls. (All figures in Canadian dollars.)

Existing venues: B.C. Place Stadium (opening, closing and medals ceremonies), GM Place (hockey), renovated Pacific Coliseum (figure skating, short-track speedskating), Whistler Mountain (downhill, Super-Gsuper-giant slalom), Blackcomb Mountain (slaloms and all technical ski events), Cypress Bowl ski area (freestyle skiing/snowboarding).

Proposed venues: Expanded Vancouver Trade and Convention Center ($500 million expansion; would be used as Main Media Center; not part of Olympic budget); bobsled/luge complex, Blackcomb Mountain ($52.8. million); speedskating oval, Simon Fraser University ($57. million); secondary hockey arena, University of British Columbia ($28.8. million); curling rink, Hillcrest Park, near Nat Bailey Stadium ($24 million); cross country/biathlon/ski jump facility and athletes’ village, Callaghan Valley ($102 million); Vancouver Athletes’ Village, False Creek waterfront; housing built with mix of private/public funds.

Transportation: Vancouver is a congested metro area but has a healthy, integrated bus/ferry/sky train public-transportation network. An existing plan to extend the sky train south to the airport and Richmond likely would be accelerated by the Olympics. Highway 99, the Sea to Sky Highway from Vancouver to Whistler, would receive some $600 million in improvements. The often treacherous, 60-mile corridor would be widened to at least three lanes in most places. Spectators would be moved to Whistler by bus or via ferry to Squamish, then bus to Whistler.