You lead me by the waters still
You lay me down to rest upon your faithfulness
My shepherd, simply take my hand
Your song restores my soul
For Your name, You make me whole
Joyfully I lift my voice in praise to Thee
With heaven watching over me, I raise my hands up high
Your Majesty gently washes over me
Makes my heart begin to sing joyfully
No shadow ever shall I fear
Your peace, my heart will k now
My cup it overflows
Your goodness chases after me
Your mercy and Your grace will be my dwelling place
Joyfully I lift my voice in praise to Thee
With heaven watching over me I raise my hands up high
Your Majesty gently washes over me
Makes my heart begin to sing joyfully
I will sing from the mountain top
I will sing, I am overcome, I will sing making melodies
I will sing from the valley low
I will sing because of Your love I will sing
You're my King, I will sing
Joyfully I lift my voice in praise to Thee
With heaven watching over me I raise my hands up high
Your Majesty gently washes over me
Makes my heart begin to sing joyfully
Joyfully, joyfully, joyfully
who am i
vanessa
psalms 27:4
love dance
currently unemployed and just finished As
dailies
Saturday, August 22, 2009
-2:10 PM
It's time to say goodbye.
Couple of reasons, like it's really really old, lack of privacy(!?) haha i know know, its an online blog... and i just need a fresh start somewhere. plus i cant change my templates on blogger now, i dunno why.
Thanks for the 6 years of memories. xx
Saturday, May 23, 2009
-10:07 PM
Growing up; a process of knowing more about myself.
Yes :( I'm going through a really difficult time. with uni applications, finding my true identity, boys, and whatnot.I've been wanting to blog, but im either procrastinating if i do come online, if not im busy+tired to even get on the computer. here are the happening things so far:
1.After a week of work registering patients at polyclinic,i was SACKED (ok, i'm exaggerating.)like suddenly and unprepared, because 1.I was loving the job so much 2. i was told i'ld be working for 3-4 weeks. cus the new perm staff would be coming. and thus with much tears and in front of my colleagues (who are 30s-40s) i bade a sad farewell to them on saturday. Thank God for the flu cus i was wearing my mask when the clinic executive told me that and to myself i was making the sad face. haha. i love them alot, aunty li ka was there to help me out on the first day being so patient, aunty may bringing me for lunch. and i really really learnt alot even in this short period. My eyes were opened to see patients who are nice, some who are really really mean^10 . this guy insulted my colleague, calling her an idiot because his queue number wasnt called first compared to the number after his (but which will be called next cus the q-matic system totally lags.) and ,many who turned black face because they had to pay for their past clinic 'debts' but were unwilling to. oh well. But I'm really inspired by how my colleagues, some who worked since the clinic opened has taken so much shit and yet still be so friendly and welcoming. something i learnt. thats why we need God's love, and be able to see from His eyes the love He has for the people.
2. so with a broken heart, questioning God, why He took away my job (it was my first and the only job i was ever proud of, haha) I could only think of this verse from the Bible : the Lord gives, and the Lord takes (away). Blessed be the name of the Lord. I was really confused, i questioned myself/biling if i had done something wrong such that God was punishing me. But no, God will never do that. God is faithful even when we're not. (and yes, i'm still in the process of understanding this, i'm not perfect.) Everything has a reason because God's plans are perfect. with that came monday. i got a call from john little for a temp job at perlini's as a stock allocater which i officially declared it as a factory worker in office environment. I was wondering if this was God's plan for me bcause 1.I didnt apply for the position. at all. 2.It came right after i got sacked. haha. so i went for interview, desperate not to stay at home and laze my hols away, signed the contract. Right after that, my mum called to tell me that gleneagles has accepted me to do culling at MRO. (no interview needed at all. how strange.) i was, omg... really. haha. so, i told the manager of perlini's on the day i reported that i'll be leaving the next day. Thankfully she was still nice to me and accepted my resignation. so i worked a day at perlini's and wow i was so thankful to God for the MRO job. because, i almost died removing sticky labels and price tags from jewelry (sp?) for 8 hours. plus colleagues who were so-so...
3. thus, here i am working at gleneagles, coming to 3 weeks already (and yes my longest holding job so far haha.) God is so good! GREAT colleagues, of my age, good working hours, working with my mom in the same hospital. i know im learning not to let money be a god to me (yes when you start working, you realise the 'worth' of money... the greeds for more new clothes, food...) but initially i (and kh my other colleague) were told it would be 6/hour, but God made it 6.50 when we signed the contract. wow! God knows i had to travel quite a distance, more than the one at clinic so provided me with more income. Praise the Lord! :))
I have learnt that God's plans are great. initially, i planned it so nicely such that after my 3/4 weeks at polyclinic i would start work at Royal sporting house (cus of the good $) which by rights, should happen if i didnt end my job at the clinic. but God used this (sacked at clinic) to allow me get a taste of other jobs (stock allocater) and even more importantly, allowed me to work at gleneagles (will be for 3 months). so ... wow. i'm seriously amazed at God.
Oh gosh i realised i have so much to thank God for. just yesterday aunty connie msged me, asking me to call her. i caught night at the museum 2 (yes free premium tix! :D with family and rachh cus it was really last min and i dunno why i thought of her first thing, lol) so was unable to call her. i was really really worried that she called to tell me that chantel neednt have tuition w me anymore (cus of my erhem, bad tuition skills...) but when i woke up this morning, I received a surprise msg from her, and this is what it said: 'i wanted to thank you for helping chantel for getting good result for both her math and science, i was going to ask you if you could help chantel with english..."
wah i tell you, inside i was so excited, i really thank God for helping me even when i give tuition, because usually before i reach her house i pray that God gives me wisdom, because honestly i cant answer some of her questions. haha. wah man, i still cant believe it. I'm thankful God still uses me to bless her family even though i'm a failure in many ways. of course, i believe it's also chantel's effort to study really hard, but in the end... God has the final say :)
and in summary (because i have to wake early for church tmr), I also thank God i FINALLY saw the podiatrist because of my ingrown toenails and worst, the bow-legged + bunion problem, i've got happy feet now :D (literally.) yeh i paid 300 for a special feet support so that i'll walk properly. and i thank God for sending people to speak to me about my LIFE. just today i saw daniel followed by suzie :))) and was pig enough to eat 2+ cups of ice cream at ice cream chef . thus to remove the guilt i jogged to ECP and back again.
i have alot, alot of matters to think about. thank you, for sharing your life, clues to guide me even when i struggle in these darkest moments. btw, i got into nursing, but i am still unsure. yes. i'm waiting for God.
p.s. happy birthday to my dear hitomi, if you ever read this :) lovee! p.s.s dearest dawn prawn, i'll do my best to make a date w you, is 1st week of june fine? :) i will msg ya if you dont! hahahaha :D love!
Recently weilin (my wonderful big sister whom i look up to) has been teaching me to reflect about things that happen. in life. which includes my emotions, my thoughts and actions... I've learnt so much from her over the past 2 sundays we've met, except that last sun my brain kind of stopped functioning while she was talking to me. or maybe it was information overload. or maybe, the words spoken were unable to touch my harden heart. is it harden? see, reflection is not easy. i myself am confused when i think about the questions i ask...WAH. this is as difficult as writing a GP essay.
So i ask her, how come she knows so much? like DUH right she's 7 years older than me. But i really really really want to be like her, the wisdom she has and i myself would love to do the same thing to someone younger next time. when i'm probably less stupid, more wise... i hope it happens, sigh.
People i want to thank for realllly making my weekend so great:
daniel jinhui michelle weilin yuenshin
in alphabetical order.
You guys must have been my angels in disguise. love.
Friday, April 24, 2009
-10:28 PM
even though i dislike chinese, strangely the chinese songs esp by streams of praise never fail to bring tears to my eyes.
Unconditional Love 祢愛永不變 有情天音樂世界 詞曲：葛兆昕
祢流出寶血 洗淨我污穢 將我的生命贖回 祢為了我的罪 犧牲永不悔 顯明你極大恩惠
我深深體會 你愛的寶貴 獻上自己永追隨 或傷心或氣餒 或生離或死別 願剛強壯膽永遠不後退
哦 祢愛永不變 從今直到永遠 深深澆灌我心田 或天旋或地轉 經滄海歷桑田 都不能叫我與祢愛隔絕
Sunday, April 19, 2009
-11:05 PM
Saturday- went to polyclinic to get my annoying health conditions worked out, but gotten 3 referrals to 3 different specialists so i have to wait officially till june :/ gynae (-_-) , gastroent and dermatology. burn that annoying wart with nitrogen :D
tuition, followed by dance class with cali+athe at dance on us! broadway jazzz w Bill Calhoun (erm spelling?) i looked at him, and i was @-@ because of his bulging muscles and the veins running through were obvious (btw, cal and athe, the shirt he was wearing was a picture of him right?? ) sadly my nose turned to almost full blast so wasnt able to enjoy class to the max but i'm aching all over, haha and i like his choreography! fresh experience for me, but i still think my first love is ballet :/ haha.....
msning my 16 year old cousin who is going to be caned in school tmr :/ ah, dont know what to say to change him..only God can.
Thursday, April 09, 2009
-3:15 PM
I was told to...
1.Lead worship for TGIF party 2.Share my testimony
... on sunday, giving me 5 days to prep myself.
!!!
Monday, April 06, 2009
-8:42 PM
the tagboards up again after a loong hiatus.
spent time out to meetup w noobs and dan+edmund. (:
and i think i disappointed the ocip team esp asyifah :/ sorry!
Thursday, April 02, 2009
-2:29 PM
... but Christ lives in Me."
Yesterday was the worst day i'ld ever had. second to GP A levels. All the questions about the future, my course in uni, the dreams i had flooded my mind again after the session by medical campus crusade and for the first time i cried so hard on the train home. My menstrual cramps and erratic stomach condition made everything worst. 'Pain pain go away...' was all i could cry to God. I wanted to give up everything, holding on to all these problems was just too much for me. On my bed i just laid there thinking about the same things, and for that moment of all my negative thoughts, God's truth began to sank in.
'I love you this much.' And Jesus stretched out His hands to die on the Cross.
He loves me. And this time i cried, receiving His love.
This morning i did qt, landed on lamentations 3.
'19 I remember my affliction and my wandering, the bitterness and the gall. 20 I well remember them, and my soul is downcast within me. 21 Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope: 22 Because of the LORD's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. 23 They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. 24 I say to myself, "The LORD is my portion; therefore I will wait for him." 25 The LORD is good to those whose hope is in him, to the one who seeks him; 26 it is good to wait quietly for the salvation of the LORD.'
and remembered this beautiful song Beloved, by Kari Jobe:
You're My Beloved You're My Bride To sing over you is My delight Come away with Me My love
Under My mercy Come and wait Till we are standing face to face I see no stain on you My child
You're Beautiful to Me So Beautiful to Me
I sing over you My song of peace Cast all your *cares* down at My feet Come and find your rest in Me
I'll breathe My life inside of you I'll bear you up on eagle's wings And hide you in the shadow of My strength I'll take you to My quiet waters I'll restore your soul Come rest in Me and be made whole
You're My beloved You're My Bride To sing over you is my delight Come away with me my love **
God sings this over me. He'll breathe His life inside of me. He'll bear me on eagles' wings. and Hide me in the shadow of His strength. He'll take me to quiet waters. He'll restore my Soul.
and i finally remembered: My life on earth is temporary. Whatever i do,will be to please Him. not my interests and loves. because one day i'll stand at God's judgement, and want Him to say to me 'Well done, you good and faithful servant'. I will do what God wants me to do. Not what i like.
Psalm 30:5 '...weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning.'
Blessed be the name of the Lord.
Friday, March 27, 2009
-3:44 PM
i have been crucified with Christ and i no longer live...
